Don’t Forget Your Real Goals
The kids had their first two basketball games yesterday. We were overmatched and went 0-2 on the day. It would be easy to get discouraged by that outcome, but doing so would mean I forgot the real goal. Sure, I would have loved to win the games.....winning is fun! But winning these random Saturday second-grade games isn't my primary objective. I see how much these boys have improved since June. One little man could barely get the ball up to the hoop just four months ago, and he got a bucket yesterday! Massive strides! Even in the last three weeks, I can tell the kids have a stronger bond with each other and are picking up the flow of the game. I'm not going to let a few surface-level goals cloud my gratitude for the real goals.
This story reminds me of a similar type of situation that plays out daily in my coaching world. I'll share one example. A couple approached me several years ago, desiring to create more freedom for their life. Finances felt tight, and both spouses were tied to jobs they loathed. One had a dream for a big career shift, and the other aspired to one day stay at home with their kids (who weren't yet born).
Their next steps were clear:
Get on an intentional budget.
Pay off their $100,000 of non-mortgage debt (primarily student loans, cars, and credit cards).
Simplify their lifestyle (including downsizing their cars and/or house).
I can excitedly report that this couple got extremely intentional on their budgeting and aggressively paid off their debt. In a shockingly quick span, they had become debt-free, and their monthly financial overhead decreased dramatically!
In the coaching meeting immediately following this big accomplishment, we celebrated their hard-earned achievements. What would they do with their newly created freedom? I was hoping she would begin her transition home (since they now had a baby!), and perhaps he would solidify his career transition plan. Nope, I was wrong. Instead, they decided to refocus their intensity on saving and investing. Now, instead cutting the budget lean to pay off debt, they would maintain a lean budget and direct those resources to aggressively saving. He stayed at his crappy job because it paid well, and it "made more financial sense" for her to forego stay-at-home-mom life (throwing her literal dream away). All for the sake of more money.
I reminded them of what their real goal was: create more freedom. They took all those intentional steps and accomplished those specific goals so that they would experience more freedom. Now that they have said freedom, however, they were essentially throwing it away. Why? All in the name of "continued financial progress." They liked making progress and seeing their numbers improve. It felt intoxicating. Therefore, they were taking the materialistic path in the meaning vs. money fork in the road. They forgot the plot. They lost sight of their real goal.
For as much as I'd like to thumb my nose at this couple and judge them for their decision, that would be hypocritical of me. We've all been there! We're human, after all.
Remember to ask yourself what your real goals are. Yes, financial goals can be fun goals, and rewarding to accomplish them. But remember the real goals! Remember why you really set those goals. Don't forget the plot. Don't lose sight of what matters most.
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