Throw Deep, Baby

Social media saves me again. I'm utterly exhausted from all that occurred in the past week (single dad life while Sarah traveled, Grandma's passing and subsequent funeral, basketball practices, and travel to Mississippi). As I pondered what I should write about today, I decided to open the inspiration machine (i.e. TikTok). It didn't take more than 45 seconds of scrolling for me to stumble upon a brilliant clip featuring Forrest Gump himself, Mr. Tom Hanks.

@dominatingmotivation2 If your gonna do something, Throw Deep.💯#motivation #mindset #quotes ♬ original sound - DominatingMotivation

I don't have the full context of this conversation, but he's being interviewed. The interviewer asks, "What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?"

Here is Tom's response: "Throw deep, baby. If you're gonna do it, do it. If you have the chance, do it. Don't pause. Instinct, man. If you got an instinct, go at it. Throw deep."

This is one of the scariest mindsets one can have. Throwing deep, relying on instinct, just hitting "go," not pausing, going for it. This is a sure-fire way to fail. If you approach life with this mindset, you WILL fail. Oh yeah, it's also why you'll succeed.

Ask any successful person about failure. They won't laugh at you and tell you how they never failed; far from it! Instead, they will probably elaborate, in great detail, about their many whiffs, failings, and embarrassments. Going deep is a recipe for disaster, and beauty. It's the secret to being humbled, and doing something that matters. It's the door to pain and suffering, and the joy of accomplishment.

I used to believe in playing life safe. Get an education. Get a "secure" job. Hold onto said job for dear life (even if it sucks). Be financially responsible; be frugal, hoard resources, keep them for myself. Coast through life, pursuing comfort every step of the way.

If you know me today, you hopefully associate me as the anti of all I just described. Throw deep, baby, as Mr. Hanks suggests. It's a tremendously difficult and humbling way to live life, but wow, it's meaningful. There's nothing safe about my family's life anymore. We have far less income, much more uncertainty, and anything but stability. But in its place is meaningful work, life-giving generosity, a spirit of adventure, and a relentless pursuit of meaning and impact.

Wherever this meets you today, I hope it gives you something to think about. Maybe you have a wild idea you're hesitant to run with. Perhaps you're itching (but scared) to start that business. Maybe you're being called to make a counter-cultural career shift. Perhaps you feel the nudge to open the floodgates of generosity.

Whatever is on your mind and heart today, I hope this triggers something within you. Throw deep, baby!

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Time Flies (Even When You're Not Having Fun)

We said goodbye to Grandma yesterday. It was a beautiful funeral service, and I’m so grateful for everyone who served, attended, and played a role in that experience. 

One of my highlights was spending time with my three cousins, whom I don’t see as often as I should. We aren’t as close today, but we were thick as thieves when we were younger; hanging out with them was always a high point of my year. It was so much fun catching up with them and their wives yesterday, and hearing about where life has taken them. 

My Mom and aunt put together some photo boards for the event, and the “cousin pics” were my favorites. So many memories, each of which is intimately intertwined with Grandma and Grandpa. Here’s a fun one!

In my head, this picture was taken about five years ago. However, considering the six boys in this photo now range from 37-49 years old, it’s safe to say it’s been a few more years than that. 

Time flies when you’re having fun…..and when you’re not. This life is so short, no matter how you live it. There are days, weeks, and months where it seems to move at a snail’s pace, but on the whole, it’s far too short. 

Far too often, in the pursuit of wealth, shiny objects, and fancy titles, we forget what matters most. We chase, chase, chase, forgetting what we are really searching for. Meanwhile, time melts away and the next thing we know, we look up and decades have sadly passed.

Therefore, I have just one clear and simple message today. Live your short life with meaning. Embrace every bit of it. Don’t let money, stuff, and status get in the way or taint it. You get one shot at this thing, so you might as well make it count. 

Have a meaningful day!

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You’ll Never Be Ready

I recently saw a stunning yet not surprising statistic. The U.S. birth rate is at a 75-year low. We're having half as many babies as we did in 1950 (12 per 1,000 people now vs. 24 per 1,000 people then). Even crazier, the birth rate has decreased every year since 1988. Wild!

There are many reasons why this trend has been so pronounced and consistent, including higher divorce rates, more career-focused dual-income families, and people waiting longer to get married. However, there's one reason I, for obvious reasons, see over and over and over. People regularly wait to have kids "until they are financially ready."

Some of you will laugh at my next statement, but it warrants being said. You will never be ready. Nothing in this world will prepare you, financially or otherwise, to have kids. Yes, kids are expensive. That notion gets a lot of air time. However, there's another fact that doesn't get near enough play. Kids only cost what you spend on them. Rich people have been having kids for centuries. Poor people have been having kids for centuries. We only have what we have.

Would it be nice to have more? Yeah, sure. But reflect on your childhood. Were you uber-focused on how rich or poor your parents were? In my hundreds of conversations about this topic, most people only fully understand their family's economic status once they are grown. To them, as a child, life was just "normal." I just chatted with a man who grew up in poverty. He noted that it wasn't until he was 19 that he realized they were "poor poor," as he put it. But he had nothing but wonderful things to say about his parents and childhood. He grew up in a loving lower-class family. The alternative to his amazing life would be if his parents threw their arms in the air and simply said "well, we can't afford it," erasing him from history. His parents were never going to be financially ready, yet here we are. They have a beautiful family…..and it's not because they did or didn't have money.

There are a lot of things NOT to do due to a lack of resources. Marriage and kids are not on that list. If you want to get married, get married. If you want to have kids, have kids. There's far more to life than money, and none more meaningful than relationships and family. 

Many of you already have kids. This message might not land on you at the right time in life. However, there are most certainly people in your life who need to hear this. Encourage them. Walk with them. Show them meaning over money. They will thank you someday.

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731 Ideas

In the reflective and surprised words of Ron Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly." Two years; November 14th, 2022. Today is the two-year anniversary of publishing this blog each day. Two years. 731 days. 731 articles. 731 ideas.

About ten days into this insane endeavor, I wondered if I'd run out of ideas soon. Would I run out in a week? A month? I surely won't make it a year. 731 ideas in 731 days.

Even though I'm living it, it's hard to wrap my head around this notion of brainstorming, writing, editing, and publishing one article per day for 731 consecutive days.

There's precedent for this sort of behavior, though:

• I've brushed my teeth every day for 40+ years.

• I've eaten every day - multiple times - for more than 43 years.

• I've dressed myself every day for 40+ years..

• The list goes on.

So, I suppose there is a precedent for writing 731 articles in 731 days. Each of us is uniquely wired to create, maintain, and strengthen habits. What do all those things above have in common? They are worth it. It's worth brushing my teeth every day so the dentist doesn't have to drill holes through my head, and people around me aren't repulsed by my breath. It's worth taking the time to eat - multiple times per day - because I appreciate staying alive. It's worth dressing myself each day because I don't think anyone needs me walking around public naked. There’s precedent for each of us to do things that are worth it, even tremendously difficult things.

Similarly, it's worth writing this blog because it adds value to thousands of people's lives (hopefully yours, too!). It's worth it because writing every day helps me process what's going on around me and to thoroughly think through these ideas. It's worth it because writing each day builds discipline and grit that can be transported into other areas of my life. It's worth it because creativity begets creativity; each idea (good or bad) sparks another.

No, this isn't my advocation for you to start a daily blog. Rather, this is my encouragement to find something worth doing. Find something that fuels you, serves others, and makes you better. Find it, lean into it, lean into it harder, and watch where it takes you.

Have a wonderful day!

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Someone’s World

I lost my paternal grandmother yesterday. This comes nearly five years to the day after Grandpa took his last breath. During that five year stretch, I've said goodbye to all four of my grandparents. It's not a day to mourn, though. Today, I celebrate her and the long, impactful life she lived, passing away just a handful of weeks before what would have been her 96th birthday.

Grandpa and Grandma’s first time meeting the boys.

One idea I regularly process here on the blog is the call we each have to make an impact on this world. Whenever I use that phrase, it makes people cringe. Not because they don't believe in impact, but rather because they don't believe their existence will be world-changing (then citing an array of world-changing figures they are unfairly comparing themselves to).

While I believe each one of us has the power to change the world, the reality is most of us won't be household names on the Mount Rushmore of world-changers. The law of averages says that's true, and our lived history says that's true. Most of us won't change the world.

While you may or may not change the world, you 100% have the power to change someone's world. And I have a little secret for you. Changing someone's world might as well be the same as changing the world.....because when you inflict impact on someone's world, it moves the needle in their life more than any of these quote-unquote world-changers ever could.

My Grandma didn't change the world, but man, she sure did change a lot of someone's worlds. She inflicted significant impact on this world, but it was discreet. It was face to face, person by person by person. I grew up four hours away from her, and didn't see her all that often. Yet, when I reflect on my childhood, she was an instrumental force in it. She was the center of so many memories, traditions, and lessons. That's her, though. She always seemed to work quietly behind the scenes, yet constantly seemed in control and a driving influence in the small world around her.

She's one of the greatest women I’ve ever known. She will never be on a list of world-changers, but I can tell you she's made more impact on my life than any famous world-changing name I could think of. She was everything. I’m sure others would agree.

Impact, impact, impact. That's our call to action. No, we won't all be called to change the world. However, we ARE called to change someone's world. Understand that opportunity. Understand that responsibility. Understand what's at stake. Understand the implications of that power. I think my Grandma did.

I'm looking forward to paying tribute to my Grandma in a few days. Until then, I'm sure I'll be living in flashback-ville, thinking about all the awesome impact she's made on my life. Love you, Grandma! Glad you've been reunited with Grandpa after five long years. Thanks for all you've done for me and so many others.

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Preserving My Midlife Crisis

In a few hours, I'll (temporarily) say goodbye to the 350Z. Our midwest winter is setting in, and it's time to store it away for the winter. I'm getting its oil changed, then delivering it to client, friend, and blog reader Emma's house where it will be kept safe and sound until spring. When I published a Facebook post asking if anyone was interested in making some storage income for the winter, Emma was the first person to text me. I quickly thanked her and confirmed I was in, to which she responded, "Really excited to help you preserve your midlife crisis." Wow, Emma.

It's been eight months since I finally checked the box on my 17-year dream of owning a 2006 Nissan 350Z stick-shift convertible. As I put it away for the winter, I thought today would be a good day to reflect on my decision.

In short, wow, what a rich and meaningful decision to purchase that car. It was easily the best $9,000 I've ever spent on something. It has been everything I hoped it would be, and more:

• I spent many hours cruising around town with my kids this summer, blaring Twenty One Pilots and making multiple pitstops at various ice cream establishments.

• Driving it as my daily commuter added a new richness and enjoyment to the repetitiveness of day-to-day life.

• I made road trips to Omaha, Minneapolis, KC, and Colorado, each providing a unique open-road, top-down experience.

• Several friends drove the car, and it was fun seeing the smiles on their faces.

Finny and I out for an afternoon cruise.

A particular conversation occurred on multiple occassions, each resembling this one:

Friend: "Wow, that car is amazing. I wish I could afford something like that."

Me: "Well, it cost about one-sixth of what you paid for that truck out there."

Friend: .........

What I want people to know about wants, meaning, and value-based decision-making is that we don't have to break the bank to journey into fun endeavors. $9,000 isn't nothing, but it's also not what most people default to when considering a fun purchase like this. We don't have to completely sabotage our finances to enjoy life. We can be measured, intentional, humble, and dutiful in our approach. This purchase didn't materially hinder our financial lives, but it sure added a lot of value to our family.

I'm not suggesting everyone should replicate my decision. Rather, I'm trying to make the argument that we should find things that add value to our lives, and we don't need to implode our financial lives to do so.

I also believe there's a time and place for everything. I waited 17 years to purchase this car. In hindsight, it cost me far less by waiting those 17 years, while being more valuable to me 17 years later than had I purchased it any time sooner.

I have nothing but gratitude and fondness for this decision. Yes, it's just a possession. Yes, it will be in a landfill before I know it. No, it can't make me happy. But dang, I'm really glad we decided to go for it.

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The Freedom to Eat the Consequences

A while back, blog reader Ryan tipped me off to a few of the other daily publications he follows. One of them is called Daily Discipline by Brian Kight. It sounded intriguing as Ryan explained it, so I started following Brian's content. It's short, relevant, and thought-provoking. Yesterday's post was particularly compelling. In short, Brian proposes freedom comes in two forms: 1) the freedom to make choices, and 2) the freedom to bear the consequences of said choices.

It's a simple, profound, and brilliant idea, and aligns well with everything we talk about over here at The Daily Meaning. We are each the author of our own story, and we must take that opportunity and responsibility seriously. Far too often, we make poor financial and career choices with the freedom bestowed upon us. As Brian points out, with freedom to make choices comes a freedom to eat the consequences:

• According to MarketWatch Guides, approximately 66% of Americans live paycheck-to-paycheck. Income influences this, but not as much as you'd think. 48% of people earning $100,000-$200,000 live paycheck-to-paycheck, and 36% earning $200,000+ live paycheck-to-paycheck.

• According to Gallup, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. I talk about this statistic regularly, and it always pains me to do so.

We're blessed with the freedom to make any choice we want; more often than not, we use that freedom to make choices that impair our well-being and our future.

As we recognize our freedoms today, we should equally acknowledge the importance of using them to bring meaning, fulfillment, and impact into our lives. It's a huge responsibility, but also a massive opportunity.

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Turn Normal On Its Head

A while back, I saw some social media posts about how Twenty One Pilots did something wild during one of their shows. While performing one of their new songs (which they play every night), lead singer Tyler Joseph, accompanied by a small entourage of camera operators and grips, meandered through the pit while performing the song. If you're not familiar, the pit is the group of people standing immediately in front of the stage. They are often the rowdiest fans, and as a standing-only section, they can get congested and unruly. People jockeying for position, people trying to navigate to their desired location, people looking for the best camera angle or access to the performer.

For international superstars, the mere idea of entering the pit is a scary endeavor. Yet, for years, Twenty One Pilots has engaged directly with their pit fans. At least once per show, Josh Dun, the drummer, sits atop the pit fans while they hold a platform, a drum kit, and Josh above their heads (that takes trust!).

Also, in the final song of this tour's show, both Tyler and Josh have platforms wheeled into the middle of the pit, where they play their iconic song Trees, surrounded by their most loyal fans. It's a sight to behold.

To my delight, I recently turned on YouTube and was greeted with a new music video. They released a video for the song Routines In The Night, featuring all the new pit footage they recently recorded. It's a fun video, and I highly recommend you check it out!

No, this post isn't just for me to rant about Twenty One Pilots. It brings one specific idea to mind. I absolutely love how they turn normal on its head. Normal is to separate themselves from the pit. Normal is to just perform the regular way. Normal is to simply do what everyone else is doing. Instead, they are turning normal on its head and carving out new ways to approach their craft.

When we started the podcast, dozens of people told me, "You can't do a podcast without interviews. Nobody wants to listen to one person talk." That's exactly what we did, and it's been beautiful.

When I started this blog, countless people told me, "You can't send people e-mails every day. Nobody will read that! Just send them one thing per week and call it good." I ignored them, and you all received me with arms wide open. 70% of you read the blog every single day, and I never take that for granted.

When I left my prior career and our family took a 90% pay cut, many people told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, it's been a difficult journey, but one of the most beautiful ones I could ever have imagined.

I so much appreciate when people are willing to turn normal on its head and carve a new path. I hope you receive this as encouragement to do the same in your journey. Don't get stuck by what the world says is the right way to do things. Sometimes, you need to rip up the blueprint and start afresh!

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Don’t Forget Your Real Goals

The kids had their first two basketball games yesterday. We were overmatched and went 0-2 on the day. It would be easy to get discouraged by that outcome, but doing so would mean I forgot the real goal. Sure, I would have loved to win the games.....winning is fun! But winning these random Saturday second-grade games isn't my primary objective. I see how much these boys have improved since June. One little man could barely get the ball up to the hoop just four months ago, and he got a bucket yesterday! Massive strides! Even in the last three weeks, I can tell the kids have a stronger bond with each other and are picking up the flow of the game. I'm not going to let a few surface-level goals cloud my gratitude for the real goals.

This story reminds me of a similar type of situation that plays out daily in my coaching world. I'll share one example. A couple approached me several years ago, desiring to create more freedom for their life. Finances felt tight, and both spouses were tied to jobs they loathed. One had a dream for a big career shift, and the other aspired to one day stay at home with their kids (who weren't yet born).

Their next steps were clear:

• Get on an intentional budget.

• Pay off their $100,000 of non-mortgage debt (primarily student loans, cars, and credit cards).

• Simplify their lifestyle (including downsizing their cars and/or house).

I can excitedly report that this couple got extremely intentional on their budgeting and aggressively paid off their debt. In a shockingly quick span, they had become debt-free, and their monthly financial overhead decreased dramatically!

In the coaching meeting immediately following this big accomplishment, we celebrated their hard-earned achievements. What would they do with their newly created freedom? I was hoping she would begin her transition home (since they now had a baby!), and perhaps he would solidify his career transition plan. Nope, I was wrong. Instead, they decided to refocus their intensity on saving and investing. Now, instead cutting the budget lean to pay off debt, they would maintain a lean budget and direct those resources to aggressively saving. He stayed at his crappy job because it paid well, and it "made more financial sense" for her to forego stay-at-home-mom life (throwing her literal dream away). All for the sake of more money.

I reminded them of what their real goal was: create more freedom. They took all those intentional steps and accomplished those specific goals so that they would experience more freedom. Now that they have said freedom, however, they were essentially throwing it away. Why? All in the name of "continued financial progress." They liked making progress and seeing their numbers improve. It felt intoxicating. Therefore, they were taking the materialistic path in the meaning vs. money fork in the road. They forgot the plot. They lost sight of their real goal.

For as much as I'd like to thumb my nose at this couple and judge them for their decision, that would be hypocritical of me. We've all been there! We're human, after all.

Remember to ask yourself what your real goals are. Yes, financial goals can be fun goals, and rewarding to accomplish them. But remember the real goals! Remember why you really set those goals. Don't forget the plot. Don't lose sight of what matters most.

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Story Behind the Story

I had the most wonderful yet stressful day yesterday. Ups and downs, twists and turns, wins and losses. However, I'm going to hone in on one particular 90-minute block of my day. I had the opportunity to share lunch with a blog reader. It was my first time meeting him, as he passed through my city for work. That was easily the best part of my day, and a reminder how we need to surround ourselves with people better than us. I took away so much from our time together, and hope it's not the last time we cross paths in person.

Here's the idea that hit me during that conversation. When we look at someone, our first perspective of them is whatever they outwardly present for us to see. Their attire. The way they treat people. Their titles and roles. The way they carry themselves. Their accomplishments. The possessions they purchase/carry. We can learn a lot about someone by being in their presence, engaging in surface-level conversations, or checking out their social media presence. That's the story.

Take my new friend. On the surface, he's uber-successful, extremely talented, hard-working, and accomplished. The kind of person you want to be more like. All of that was true, by the way.....that's the story. What about the story behind the story?

I was honored to hear some truly profound stories and testimonials from this man. Stories that are quick and harsh reminders that nobody's life is as perfect and put together as we often believe. Stories that remind us that while we're pretty screwed up, we aren't the only ones battling behind the scenes. Stories that portray humility, vulnerability, and sincerity..... much-needed traits in our modern-day social media facade lifestyle.

It's so easy for us to look at someone, immediately assume their life is perfect, and quickly jump to jealousy, excuse-making, and self-loathing. That's the easy way out, and all too common in our culture. But if we're willing to learn the story behind the story, we'll usually see that we're not alone in the mess and chaos of life. And if these other people can keep fighting, persevere, and rise above it, why can't we?

It's the story behind the story that I'm after. That's what fuels me. That's what I desire to learn about people. That's what makes us human.

One more thing. I'm beyond humbled to meet people who are shockingly transparent and vulnerable with others, especially strangers. My new friend has no idea how much of an impact he made on me yesterday (well, unless he reads this). And if he made that impact on me, a total stranger, in just a 90-minute span of life, what in the heck is he doing for others!?!? That's impact. That's meaning. That's calling.

Seek the story behind the story, and if you're daring enough, share the story behind the story.

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None of Us Really Know What We're Doing

I had a fantastic meeting with two women yesterday who are interested in starting a business. They are each accomplished in their own right and carry themselves with a strong sense of calling and purpose. The passion they have for their work and prospective business is palpable.

As we dove into some of the particulars of starting and running a business, I could tell one of the women was a bit self-conscious about her business acumen. She's absolutely brilliant and successful at her craft, but the business side of things is new-ish to her. Sensing how she felt about this, I added the following regarding business owners: "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

I hadn't actually thought about that until it escaped my mouth, but it's so true! Business owners know nothing....until they know something. And the only way they know something is by doing something they didn't know how to do. It's the ultimate in discomfort. Even Elon Musk, one of the greatest business people of our time, has done everything in his career for the first time at one point or another.

I think most business owners would share the same sentiment if willing to be honest and humble. None of this is easy, but it gets easier as we gain experience. Discomfort turns into experience, which unlocks new discomforts. It's a beautiful, terrible cycle. It's not for everyone, but I love it so much.

I think this woman needed to hear that yesterday, and I suspect some of you do as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't know what you don't know, and there's only one way to change that.

I couldn't be more excited about the ideas these two women shared with me. The potential impact is great, and the passion is real. I have no idea where they will take this, but wherever it goes, I'll absolutely be cheering them on every step of the way!

Please don't be afraid to meet the world with what you currently have to offer. You're better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow, you'll be better than you were today. "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

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Respecting Younger You

I have a seared-in memory of a youth group conversation that happened many years ago. One of the girls excitedly told the group that she had just received her new iPhone earlier that day. Mid-sentence, one of her friends interrupted, "Wait, didn't you just get a new phone a few months ago?"

"Yeah, I did, but that one broke"

Another kid pops in, "This is like your third phone this school year."

"Well, fourth. They keep breaking, so I need to replace them."

Another guy jumps into the discussion. "My dad told me that if I ever break my phone, I'm responsible for buying a new one."

The original girl was shocked. "That's terrible! You'll never be able to pay for a phone on your own. That's not fair!"

I looked at the guy and asked, "How many times have you ever broken your phone?"

"Never! I can't afford to. I'm very careful." The answer I was expecting!

There's a lot to be learned from this story. It's a story of entitlement, ownership, personal responsibility, and cause and effect.

_____________________

As I picked Finn and Pax up from their band practice last night, I witnessed Finn quickly turn 180 degrees, nearly causing his electric guitar to collide with the corner of a concrete wall. If he were standing two inches closer, we would have had a disaster on our hands.

As we got in the car, I explained to him that he needed to be more careful. He replied, "Well, if something happens to my guitar, we can just buy me a new one."

"If you break your guitar, you're responsible for buying a new one, Finn."

"What!?!? That's not fair. I don't have that much money."

"Well, you better be careful. I'll show you a better way to hold it when you're not playing it, but the responsibility to take care of it is yours."

_____________________

Cause and effect is a wonderful teacher; it's also a humbling one. When handling our finances and the possessions purchased with said finances, it's imperative that we steward it well. We shouldn't covet our money or things, but we ought to respect it. Kids struggle with this, but so do many adults. We're quick to blow money, break things, spend money on things we don't care bout, lose things, continue unused subscriptions, incur needless banking fees, rack up interest, and countless other mindless anti-stewardship actions.

Again, this isn't about penny-pinching, idolizing, or hoarding. It's about honoring the fruits of our labor and making the best use of our resources. Remember, every dollar you spend on something you don't care about is one dollar you can't spend on something you do. Therefore, be thoughtful, be intentional, and ensure you're paying proper respect for the work younger you put in to earn those resources.

Oh yeah, and have a great day!

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What It’s Really About

I've been hearing the wildest comments, feedback, and word-of-mouth referrals about the blog lately, and I say that in the most positive sense. I never take those kind words for granted, and it fuels me to create something meaningful each and every day. I share this because one particular story stood out a few days ago.

No, it's not the one where my friend told me she's "addicted" to reading my blog each morning, though that comment absolutely made my week!

And it's not the one where someone recently said he starts his day with three things: "A coffee, the Bible, and reading The Daily Meaning." Again, wow!

It's this one. A friend recently shared that he occasionally forwards my blog posts to his wife, encouraging her to sign up. But she's not one to care much about reading a daily money blog. Eventually, she relented and signed up, which I'm assuming was so she wouldn't have to listen to him talk about it anymore. My friend's recent feedback: "She likes it because it's not always about money!"

I love this, and she's so right. I would take it a step further and suggest that it's never actually about money. Well, it kinda is, but money is NEVER about money; it's always about something bigger. While it's true that we need to earn enough money to provide basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, and transportation), money is much more valuable than whatever dollars and cents are attached to it. Money, and how we perceive and handle it, is a reflection of our values, principles, and aspirations. In other words, it's an extension of us and what makes us tick.

It reminds me of a quote I heard long ago: "Show me your checkbook and I'll show you what's really important to you." It's so true! How we perceive and handle our money is an honest reflection of what we actually value (not what we say we value).

Money has the power to do great evil....or world-changing good.

Money has the power to add value to our lives....or rob us of it.

Money has the power to fulfill your wants......or others' needs.

Money has the power to create much stress and tension......or be humbly filled with gratitude.

Money has the power to fuel our desire for more......or walk with a posture of contentment.

Money has the power to become an idol.....or be used to glorify the one true idol.

So yeah, while money will absolutely continue to come up (it's what I do for a living!), it's never really about money. I'm so grateful my friend shared this story with me. It's a reminder to us all that money is NEVER about money; it's always about something bigger.

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Sear It In

Wow, what a night! The Cyclones entered yesterday's game 6-0 for the first time in nearly 100 years. Home game. Ranked #9 in the country. 6:30 PM kickoff. Nationally televised. The moment was ripe for something special.

TJ, Finn, Pax, and I excitedly drove to Ames, eager for what could unfold. We were hoping for a blowout, but we were treated to something far worse (and ultimately better). Down 14 points in the second half, Iowa State completed the comeback by scoring the game-winning touchdown with just 30 seconds remaining. It was probably the loudest I've ever heard a stadium in my life, and my head was spinning. The boys were dancing, screaming, and celebrating like I had never seen before.

Amidst the pandamonium, I leaned over to TJ and suggested that this might be Finn and Pax's first seared-in sports moment. A moment they might someday tell their own kids about. The type of moment that will ultimately get stored away in their core memories.

I might have had a better pure sports experience had TJ and I went to the game without kids. However, I will forever be grateful I shared it with the boys. Whether that moment is seared in for them or not, it certainly is for me.

I've been to hundreds of sporting events in my life. I've also been to thousands of other events. Most come and go without incident. Fun times, then quickly forgotten. Not all events are created equal, though. Some, often unexpectedly, will sear into your brain and remain there forever. Those are special.

Since it's impossible to tell which ones will be set apart from the rest, our only means of control is to put ourselves in a position to create those memories and give ourselves an opportunity for amazing to happen. That happened last night, and I couldn't be more grateful.

I hope you find your seared-in moments, and are able to share them with the special people in your life. That's meaning!

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The Awakening

I've been stewing about a message I received from a Meaning Over Money podcast listener. He learned about our content from a friend; he doesn't know me or have any connection with my work. He just received an episode link one day and decided to keep listening. He explained that, in some ways, I was saying obvious things he already knew. Yet, at the same time, I talked about it in a way he had never heard it explained before.

Ultimately, upon reflecting on his own life and the decisions he made, here's where he landed: "I got everything I ever thought I wanted, then realized it's all crap."

I know exactly what he's saying. I hear this type of sentiment often. His story is like many others. The big house, nice cars, Facebook-worthy trips, status-driving titles, trendy wardrobes, and the day-to-day lifestyle to put a cherry on top. It's fun. It's alluring. It makes people feel a certain way about you. Ultimately, though, it's empty.

Not everyone has this moment of clarity where they realize, in the harsh words of this podcast listener, "it's all crap." Some people will live nearly their entire lives believing the materialistic ways of our society are the eventual ticket to happiness and fulfillment. But for the many who receive a harsh wake-up call, it can be disorienting and agonizing. To realize most of what you've been chasing for years (or decades!) was a fool's errand is a humbling experience. It can be tremendously painful, and I walk alongside many families in this stage of their journey.

It's not all bad news, though. Quite the contrary! These moments of clarity, though painful, offer a fresh start and a new fork in the road to pursue something different.....something better. I'll give you a glimpse into what often happens in the immediate aftermath of these awakenings:

• An aggressive pursuit of work that matters.

• More intentionality to spend time with those they love most.

• A significant increase in generosity.

• A shift from spending on things/stuff to memories/experiences.

• Less focus on the future and more on living in the present.

• More contentment.

• More joy.

• Oh yeah, and more meaning.

I feel bad for what this man is enduring, but I'm equally excited for what's to come. This next season will surely be his best (and most challenging) one yet.....it's going to be awesome! Regardless of where you are on your journey today, I hope you find this same type of clarity and all the richness that spawns from it. It's so tough, yet so beautiful.

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Ouch and Joy

We had the most amazing time at the Twenty One Pilots concert last night. My kids were hyped, and they had huge smiles on their faces from start to finish. It was one of those memories that I pray will be seared into a four of our brains. At the same time, I struggled with agonizing back pain. I could feel it building for a few days, but yesterday morning I was struck with shooting pains down my legs. Even while writing this, it is radiating through my body.

Last week’s trip to Mongolia was a life-changing endeavor. It’s something I’ll never forget, and spent time with people I see far too little. At the same time, I was sick nearly the entire week while there. I’d wake up feeling lousy and go to bed feeling like I had been hit by a train.

No matter how good things get in life, it won’t be pristine. It won’t be perfect. There will always be things that run the risk of tainting it.

So we have a choice. Allow these negatives to ruin it, or celebrate the beauty despite the flaws. While I’m in enough pain that it’s difficult to even type this, I’m choosing to see the beauty. If I waited until things were perfect to appreciate and savor them, I’ll be waiting until eternity.

Whatever wins you’re experiencing today, don’t let the negatives rob you of the joy. Maybe you need to hear that today; I know I do.

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The Memory Paradox

We spent most of yesterday hanging out at the amusement park in the middle of Mall of America. Endless rides, lots of laughs, and countless memories. It cost us $55 per person for unlimited all-day passes. Tonight, we'll create even more memories at the Twenty One Pilots concert. I don't remember what we paid for those tickets, but they were definitely many multiples of the amusement park. Two separate events, each requiring a meaningful financial investment, which will create lasting memories.

There's a paradox with memories, though. Memories don't actually cost anything. Spending money isn't a prerequisite for creating memories. Now, if you want to create memories at an amusement park or concert, then yes, it will cost something. But spending money isn't what makes a memory.

For the last two nights, we've spent hours in the simple hotel pool where we stayed. Nothing fancy. Nothing over the top. Completely free. We've had a blast and I suspect those memories could be as valuable to the kids as any others we create on this trip. Memories are memories, regardless of the cost.

I kinda lied above. I said memories don't cost anything, but that's not true. Memories do have one cost: our time and attention. We MUST be present....both physically and emotionally. We need to show up, and actually be there.

This is the actual paradox. Many people have fallen into the trap of more. They believe the secret to their children's happiness and well-being is to provide them with more money, more stuff, and better vacations. Therefore, in the pursuit of more, we parents often put ourselves in positions where we're not present, physically or emotionally. We're too busy trying to provide more, entirely missing the point.

I've struggled with this at times. I'm excited to say I'm much, much better than I used to be. However, I probably still have a long way to go. This weekend is a great rep for me, though. It's an opportunity to fully invest in my kids and help them create lasting memories that they will hopefully treasure for decades to come. This goes for the free pool just as much as the expensive concert. All memories matter!

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All Shapes and Sizes

Right on cue! I received an extremely harsh message from an acquaintance after yesterday's post. For context, I shared a short but powerful testimonial from a friend who decided to pursue work that matters. In her particular situation, that work involved starting her own small business. I won't reveal all the expletive details from yesterday's criticism, but here's one sentence that sums up their perspective of yesterday's post: "Not everyone can just quit their job and start a business."

Do you see what he did here? I wrote a post expressing this aspirational idea that each of us should pursue work that matters, and his internalization of this message is that the only work that matters is business ownership. Being an employee automatically equals misery, and being a business owner equals something good. Then, for whatever reason, he excluded himself from being able to have his own business.....seemingly meaning he was condemned to misery.

I try to choose my words carefully. Never have I said the secret to happiness, meaning, or fulfillment is self-employment. Rather, I'm an advocate for work that matters. Here's the thing about work that matters. All work matters, but not all work matters to you, and not all work matters to me. For my friend in yesterday's post, hers was creating a small business in a field that fills her tank. Her business is uniquely her.

I have a friend who is living his absolute best life. He's a middle manager at a boring-to-me job at a large and stodgy corporation. He's had the same job for nearly 20 years. He loves it, and it fills his tank.

I have another friend who just started her tenth year as a middle school teacher. She loves it! Sure, there are messy and stressful components to the work, but she's living her calling.

There's also another friend who is a barista at a coffee shop. He looks forward to work almost every day, and it fills his bucket. The work can be draining, but the relationships, variety of work, and environment are perfect for his wiring and lifestyle.

It's not about being an employee vs. not being an employee. It's about pursuing work that matters. For many people, like the person who lashed out at me, it's easier to find reasons to concede defeat and sit in their misery than to face the challenge of pursuing work that matters. Or, in the words of my friend from yesterday's post, "I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hard things to find it."

Work that matters matters. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It's different for everyone. It might mean being an employee. It might mean owning your own business. It might mean doing ministry. It might mean doing something I don't even know about! But there's one common thread to all of it: it does exist, it will be a difficult journey, and it will be so worth it.

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She’s Far-Fetched, Too

I'm used to the criticism at this point. It comes from many angles and in various forms. Over the last year, however, the bulk of the criticism revolved around my ideas of work. Specifically, my position that we should pursue work that matters and find meaning in it. Some of the most common “feedback” includes:

• "Your ideas about work are far-fetched."

• "You don't live in the real world."

• "That's a privileged perspective."

• "You don't know what it's really like."

• "Meaning doesn't pay the bills."

• "Have fun being poor." -- I actually love this one!

• "You are telling people to be selfish and not care for their families."

• "You live in la la land."

I know there are some far better, more vulgar quotes somewhere, so I'll save those gems for another day!

Yes, my ideas are crazy, counter-cultural, and backward. Yes, they tug at the fabric of our culture's view of work, money, and life. Yes, it requires discomfort, perseverance, and humility. Yes, it's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do.

No, I'm not alone. No, I'm not special. No, I'm not particularly gifted. No, my ideas aren't even really my ideas. I just happen to have a platform.....and a mission. The truth is, countless people have committed to the types of insane endeavors I write, podcast, and speak about. That's what makes these ideas so amazing: they are accessible to all......IF you're up for the challenge.

I could list hundreds of examples, but you don't show up for me to endlessly ramble. So, instead, I'm going to give you one brief testimonial. This is a reply to my recent Ruin vs. Waste post. First, some context. This woman owns a beautiful small business which fuels and fills her. Her broader story is wild and involves more turmoil than she deserves. Here's what she said:

"After I was laid off, I chose to walk away from misery and do something really scary. I walked away from a comfortable 6 figure salary to maybe try to find some happiness. I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hard things to find it. Do I wish I had a bigger bank account? Sure. And maybe someday this business will allow a bit more flexibility and perhaps a vacation out of state (ha), but I'm not willing to give up the freedom and happiness I have every single day for more money in my pocket. I was miserable back then and I refuse to do that again."

I bolded my favorite part: "I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hardthings to find it." Yes, it's out there. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, she had the courage to go for it.

Don't let our culture tell you what you can and should do. The vast majority of those voices are miserable. You deserve better!

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I’m No Swiftie, But…

I'm no Swiftie, but I watched ESPN's Monday Night Football pre-game show last night with great anticipation. I was dying for the moment when they would show Taylor Swift walking into Arrowhead Stadium to watch her boyfriend, Travis Kelce. It was so worth the wait when the payoff finally happened. That moment made my entire night!

It reminds me of a lunch I shared with a young friend. He recently graduated college and started a pretty good job. It was the perfect job for someone graduating from college and looking for good money, solid benefits, and stability. He looked miserable, though, and his ill-fitting suit didn't look much better. I anticipated spending that hour with someone who had a signature zest for life, but instead, I shared a meal with a guy who looked like he had just buried his dog. As the conversation picked up, he confessed how much he hated this job. It wasn't a bad job; far from it! Rather, it just wasn't the right job for him. He had different dreams, and this definitely wasn't it. A few weeks later, he left work one afternoon and never returned. Not even his wife knew he had quit.....until she returned home later that night.

That guy was Cole, Meaning Over Money co-founder and my good friend. And that sad lunch encounter occurred nearly ten years ago. Cole quit that job with no backup plan (not advised), while still deeply in debt (also not advised), without talking to his wife (definitely not advised), and began his dream of becoming a freelance videographer. The road has been anything but smooth for him. Ups and downs, hot streaks and dry spells, great opportunities and broken promises. Through it all, he persevered, never losing sight of what he was trying to accomplish. He bought a house, continued to build his business, had a kid, fought to pursue work that matters, had another kid, kept chasing his calling, and will soon have yet another kid.

I'm no Swiftie, but as I eagerly anticipated Taylor Swift's arrival into the stadium last night, I knew it would be Cole on the other end of that camera, continuing to live out his unique journey and vision. ESPN contracted him to be on Monday Night Football Taylor Swift watch, followed by filming the post-game press conference interviews for the Chiefs players and coaches.

I don't mean to sound like I have a man crush on my business partner, but I'm just so dang proud of where he's been, where he's at, and where he'll soon go. It makes it even sweeter knowing how difficult the journey has been. I would say he's stared fear in the face, but he's a retired kicker, and I'm not sure kickers can feel fear. But the struggle is real. If anyone ever pulls out the it-must-be-nice-to-be-him card, I'll be the first one to share the stories of what it looked like behind the scenes, during the crappy periods, when things were uncertain, and when it probably seemed to be anything but "nice to be him."

I'm no Swiftie, but that's pretty cool!

I couldn’t find the actual ESPN footage he recorded, but it was a similar angle as this clip.

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