None of Us Really Know What We're Doing

I had a fantastic meeting with two women yesterday who are interested in starting a business. They are each accomplished in their own right and carry themselves with a strong sense of calling and purpose. The passion they have for their work and prospective business is palpable.

As we dove into some of the particulars of starting and running a business, I could tell one of the women was a bit self-conscious about her business acumen. She's absolutely brilliant and successful at her craft, but the business side of things is new-ish to her. Sensing how she felt about this, I added the following regarding business owners: "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

I hadn't actually thought about that until it escaped my mouth, but it's so true! Business owners know nothing....until they know something. And the only way they know something is by doing something they didn't know how to do. It's the ultimate in discomfort. Even Elon Musk, one of the greatest business people of our time, has done everything in his career for the first time at one point or another.

I think most business owners would share the same sentiment if willing to be honest and humble. None of this is easy, but it gets easier as we gain experience. Discomfort turns into experience, which unlocks new discomforts. It's a beautiful, terrible cycle. It's not for everyone, but I love it so much.

I think this woman needed to hear that yesterday, and I suspect some of you do as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't know what you don't know, and there's only one way to change that.

I couldn't be more excited about the ideas these two women shared with me. The potential impact is great, and the passion is real. I have no idea where they will take this, but wherever it goes, I'll absolutely be cheering them on every step of the way!

Please don't be afraid to meet the world with what you currently have to offer. You're better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow, you'll be better than you were today. "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

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Respecting Younger You

I have a seared-in memory of a youth group conversation that happened many years ago. One of the girls excitedly told the group that she had just received her new iPhone earlier that day. Mid-sentence, one of her friends interrupted, "Wait, didn't you just get a new phone a few months ago?"

"Yeah, I did, but that one broke"

Another kid pops in, "This is like your third phone this school year."

"Well, fourth. They keep breaking, so I need to replace them."

Another guy jumps into the discussion. "My dad told me that if I ever break my phone, I'm responsible for buying a new one."

The original girl was shocked. "That's terrible! You'll never be able to pay for a phone on your own. That's not fair!"

I looked at the guy and asked, "How many times have you ever broken your phone?"

"Never! I can't afford to. I'm very careful." The answer I was expecting!

There's a lot to be learned from this story. It's a story of entitlement, ownership, personal responsibility, and cause and effect.

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As I picked Finn and Pax up from their band practice last night, I witnessed Finn quickly turn 180 degrees, nearly causing his electric guitar to collide with the corner of a concrete wall. If he were standing two inches closer, we would have had a disaster on our hands.

As we got in the car, I explained to him that he needed to be more careful. He replied, "Well, if something happens to my guitar, we can just buy me a new one."

"If you break your guitar, you're responsible for buying a new one, Finn."

"What!?!? That's not fair. I don't have that much money."

"Well, you better be careful. I'll show you a better way to hold it when you're not playing it, but the responsibility to take care of it is yours."

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Cause and effect is a wonderful teacher; it's also a humbling one. When handling our finances and the possessions purchased with said finances, it's imperative that we steward it well. We shouldn't covet our money or things, but we ought to respect it. Kids struggle with this, but so do many adults. We're quick to blow money, break things, spend money on things we don't care bout, lose things, continue unused subscriptions, incur needless banking fees, rack up interest, and countless other mindless anti-stewardship actions.

Again, this isn't about penny-pinching, idolizing, or hoarding. It's about honoring the fruits of our labor and making the best use of our resources. Remember, every dollar you spend on something you don't care about is one dollar you can't spend on something you do. Therefore, be thoughtful, be intentional, and ensure you're paying proper respect for the work younger you put in to earn those resources.

Oh yeah, and have a great day!

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What It’s Really About

I've been hearing the wildest comments, feedback, and word-of-mouth referrals about the blog lately, and I say that in the most positive sense. I never take those kind words for granted, and it fuels me to create something meaningful each and every day. I share this because one particular story stood out a few days ago.

No, it's not the one where my friend told me she's "addicted" to reading my blog each morning, though that comment absolutely made my week!

And it's not the one where someone recently said he starts his day with three things: "A coffee, the Bible, and reading The Daily Meaning." Again, wow!

It's this one. A friend recently shared that he occasionally forwards my blog posts to his wife, encouraging her to sign up. But she's not one to care much about reading a daily money blog. Eventually, she relented and signed up, which I'm assuming was so she wouldn't have to listen to him talk about it anymore. My friend's recent feedback: "She likes it because it's not always about money!"

I love this, and she's so right. I would take it a step further and suggest that it's never actually about money. Well, it kinda is, but money is NEVER about money; it's always about something bigger. While it's true that we need to earn enough money to provide basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, and transportation), money is much more valuable than whatever dollars and cents are attached to it. Money, and how we perceive and handle it, is a reflection of our values, principles, and aspirations. In other words, it's an extension of us and what makes us tick.

It reminds me of a quote I heard long ago: "Show me your checkbook and I'll show you what's really important to you." It's so true! How we perceive and handle our money is an honest reflection of what we actually value (not what we say we value).

Money has the power to do great evil....or world-changing good.

Money has the power to add value to our lives....or rob us of it.

Money has the power to fulfill your wants......or others' needs.

Money has the power to create much stress and tension......or be humbly filled with gratitude.

Money has the power to fuel our desire for more......or walk with a posture of contentment.

Money has the power to become an idol.....or be used to glorify the one true idol.

So yeah, while money will absolutely continue to come up (it's what I do for a living!), it's never really about money. I'm so grateful my friend shared this story with me. It's a reminder to us all that money is NEVER about money; it's always about something bigger.

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Sear It In

Wow, what a night! The Cyclones entered yesterday's game 6-0 for the first time in nearly 100 years. Home game. Ranked #9 in the country. 6:30 PM kickoff. Nationally televised. The moment was ripe for something special.

TJ, Finn, Pax, and I excitedly drove to Ames, eager for what could unfold. We were hoping for a blowout, but we were treated to something far worse (and ultimately better). Down 14 points in the second half, Iowa State completed the comeback by scoring the game-winning touchdown with just 30 seconds remaining. It was probably the loudest I've ever heard a stadium in my life, and my head was spinning. The boys were dancing, screaming, and celebrating like I had never seen before.

Amidst the pandamonium, I leaned over to TJ and suggested that this might be Finn and Pax's first seared-in sports moment. A moment they might someday tell their own kids about. The type of moment that will ultimately get stored away in their core memories.

I might have had a better pure sports experience had TJ and I went to the game without kids. However, I will forever be grateful I shared it with the boys. Whether that moment is seared in for them or not, it certainly is for me.

I've been to hundreds of sporting events in my life. I've also been to thousands of other events. Most come and go without incident. Fun times, then quickly forgotten. Not all events are created equal, though. Some, often unexpectedly, will sear into your brain and remain there forever. Those are special.

Since it's impossible to tell which ones will be set apart from the rest, our only means of control is to put ourselves in a position to create those memories and give ourselves an opportunity for amazing to happen. That happened last night, and I couldn't be more grateful.

I hope you find your seared-in moments, and are able to share them with the special people in your life. That's meaning!

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The Awakening

I've been stewing about a message I received from a Meaning Over Money podcast listener. He learned about our content from a friend; he doesn't know me or have any connection with my work. He just received an episode link one day and decided to keep listening. He explained that, in some ways, I was saying obvious things he already knew. Yet, at the same time, I talked about it in a way he had never heard it explained before.

Ultimately, upon reflecting on his own life and the decisions he made, here's where he landed: "I got everything I ever thought I wanted, then realized it's all crap."

I know exactly what he's saying. I hear this type of sentiment often. His story is like many others. The big house, nice cars, Facebook-worthy trips, status-driving titles, trendy wardrobes, and the day-to-day lifestyle to put a cherry on top. It's fun. It's alluring. It makes people feel a certain way about you. Ultimately, though, it's empty.

Not everyone has this moment of clarity where they realize, in the harsh words of this podcast listener, "it's all crap." Some people will live nearly their entire lives believing the materialistic ways of our society are the eventual ticket to happiness and fulfillment. But for the many who receive a harsh wake-up call, it can be disorienting and agonizing. To realize most of what you've been chasing for years (or decades!) was a fool's errand is a humbling experience. It can be tremendously painful, and I walk alongside many families in this stage of their journey.

It's not all bad news, though. Quite the contrary! These moments of clarity, though painful, offer a fresh start and a new fork in the road to pursue something different.....something better. I'll give you a glimpse into what often happens in the immediate aftermath of these awakenings:

• An aggressive pursuit of work that matters.

• More intentionality to spend time with those they love most.

• A significant increase in generosity.

• A shift from spending on things/stuff to memories/experiences.

• Less focus on the future and more on living in the present.

• More contentment.

• More joy.

• Oh yeah, and more meaning.

I feel bad for what this man is enduring, but I'm equally excited for what's to come. This next season will surely be his best (and most challenging) one yet.....it's going to be awesome! Regardless of where you are on your journey today, I hope you find this same type of clarity and all the richness that spawns from it. It's so tough, yet so beautiful.

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Ouch and Joy

We had the most amazing time at the Twenty One Pilots concert last night. My kids were hyped, and they had huge smiles on their faces from start to finish. It was one of those memories that I pray will be seared into the four of our brains. At the same time, I struggled with agonizing back pain. I could feel it building for a few days, but yesterday morning I was struck with shooting pains down my legs. Even while writing this, it is radiating through my body.

Last week’s trip to Mongolia was a life-changing endeavor. It’s something I’ll never forget, and spent time with people I see far too little. At the same time, I was sick nearly the entire week while there. I’d wake up feeling lousy and go to bed feeling like I had been hit by a train.

No matter how good things get in life, it won’t be pristine. It won’t be perfect. There will always be things that run the risk of tainting it.

So we have a choice. Allow these negatives to ruin it, or celebrate the beauty despite the flaws. While I’m in enough pain that it’s difficult to even type this, I’m choosing to see the beauty. If I waited until things were perfect to appreciate and savor them, I’ll be waiting until eternity.

Whatever wins you’re experiencing today, don’t let the negatives rob you of the joy. Maybe you need to hear that today; I know I do.

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The Memory Paradox

We spent most of yesterday hanging out at the amusement park in the middle of Mall of America. Endless rides, lots of laughs, and countless memories. It cost us $55 per person for unlimited all-day passes. Tonight, we'll create even more memories at the Twenty One Pilots concert. I don't remember what we paid for those tickets, but they were definitely many multiples of the amusement park. Two separate events, each requiring a meaningful financial investment, which will create lasting memories.

There's a paradox with memories, though. Memories don't actually cost anything. Spending money isn't a prerequisite for creating memories. Now, if you want to create memories at an amusement park or concert, then yes, it will cost something. But spending money isn't what makes a memory.

For the last two nights, we've spent hours in the simple hotel pool where we stayed. Nothing fancy. Nothing over the top. Completely free. We've had a blast and I suspect those memories could be as valuable to the kids as any others we create on this trip. Memories are memories, regardless of the cost.

I kinda lied above. I said memories don't cost anything, but that's not true. Memories do have one cost: our time and attention. We MUST be present....both physically and emotionally. We need to show up, and actually be there.

This is the actual paradox. Many people have fallen into the trap of more. They believe the secret to their children's happiness and well-being is to provide them with more money, more stuff, and better vacations. Therefore, in the pursuit of more, we parents often put ourselves in positions where we're not present, physically or emotionally. We're too busy trying to provide more, entirely missing the point.

I've struggled with this at times. I'm excited to say I'm much, much better than I used to be. However, I probably still have a long way to go. This weekend is a great rep for me, though. It's an opportunity to fully invest in my kids and help them create lasting memories that they will hopefully treasure for decades to come. This goes for the free pool just as much as the expensive concert. All memories matter!

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All Shapes and Sizes

Right on cue! I received an extremely harsh message from an acquaintance after yesterday's post. For context, I shared a short but powerful testimonial from a friend who decided to pursue work that matters. In her particular situation, that work involved starting her own small business. I won't reveal all the expletive details from yesterday's criticism, but here's one sentence that sums up their perspective of yesterday's post: "Not everyone can just quit their job and start a business."

Do you see what he did here? I wrote a post expressing this aspirational idea that each of us should pursue work that matters, and his internalization of this message is that the only work that matters is business ownership. Being an employee automatically equals misery, and being a business owner equals something good. Then, for whatever reason, he excluded himself from being able to have his own business.....seemingly meaning he was condemned to misery.

I try to choose my words carefully. Never have I said the secret to happiness, meaning, or fulfillment is self-employment. Rather, I'm an advocate for work that matters. Here's the thing about work that matters. All work matters, but not all work matters to you, and not all work matters to me. For my friend in yesterday's post, hers was creating a small business in a field that fills her tank. Her business is uniquely her.

I have a friend who is living his absolute best life. He's a middle manager at a boring-to-me job at a large and stodgy corporation. He's had the same job for nearly 20 years. He loves it, and it fills his tank.

I have another friend who just started her tenth year as a middle school teacher. She loves it! Sure, there are messy and stressful components to the work, but she's living her calling.

There's also another friend who is a barista at a coffee shop. He looks forward to work almost every day, and it fills his bucket. The work can be draining, but the relationships, variety of work, and environment are perfect for his wiring and lifestyle.

It's not about being an employee vs. not being an employee. It's about pursuing work that matters. For many people, like the person who lashed out at me, it's easier to find reasons to concede defeat and sit in their misery than to face the challenge of pursuing work that matters. Or, in the words of my friend from yesterday's post, "I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hard things to find it."

Work that matters matters. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It's different for everyone. It might mean being an employee. It might mean owning your own business. It might mean doing ministry. It might mean doing something I don't even know about! But there's one common thread to all of it: it does exist, it will be a difficult journey, and it will be so worth it.

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She’s Far-Fetched, Too

I'm used to the criticism at this point. It comes from many angles and in various forms. Over the last year, however, the bulk of the criticism revolved around my ideas of work. Specifically, my position that we should pursue work that matters and find meaning in it. Some of the most common “feedback” includes:

• "Your ideas about work are far-fetched."

• "You don't live in the real world."

• "That's a privileged perspective."

• "You don't know what it's really like."

• "Meaning doesn't pay the bills."

• "Have fun being poor." -- I actually love this one!

• "You are telling people to be selfish and not care for their families."

• "You live in la la land."

I know there are some far better, more vulgar quotes somewhere, so I'll save those gems for another day!

Yes, my ideas are crazy, counter-cultural, and backward. Yes, they tug at the fabric of our culture's view of work, money, and life. Yes, it requires discomfort, perseverance, and humility. Yes, it's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do.

No, I'm not alone. No, I'm not special. No, I'm not particularly gifted. No, my ideas aren't even really my ideas. I just happen to have a platform.....and a mission. The truth is, countless people have committed to the types of insane endeavors I write, podcast, and speak about. That's what makes these ideas so amazing: they are accessible to all......IF you're up for the challenge.

I could list hundreds of examples, but you don't show up for me to endlessly ramble. So, instead, I'm going to give you one brief testimonial. This is a reply to my recent Ruin vs. Waste post. First, some context. This woman owns a beautiful small business which fuels and fills her. Her broader story is wild and involves more turmoil than she deserves. Here's what she said:

"After I was laid off, I chose to walk away from misery and do something really scary. I walked away from a comfortable 6 figure salary to maybe try to find some happiness. I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hard things to find it. Do I wish I had a bigger bank account? Sure. And maybe someday this business will allow a bit more flexibility and perhaps a vacation out of state (ha), but I'm not willing to give up the freedom and happiness I have every single day for more money in my pocket. I was miserable back then and I refuse to do that again."

I bolded my favorite part: "I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hardthings to find it." Yes, it's out there. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, she had the courage to go for it.

Don't let our culture tell you what you can and should do. The vast majority of those voices are miserable. You deserve better!

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I’m No Swiftie, But…

I'm no Swiftie, but I watched ESPN's Monday Night Football pre-game show last night with great anticipation. I was dying for the moment when they would show Taylor Swift walking into Arrowhead Stadium to watch her boyfriend, Travis Kelce. It was so worth the wait when the payoff finally happened. That moment made my entire night!

It reminds me of a lunch I shared with a young friend. He recently graduated college and started a pretty good job. It was the perfect job for someone graduating from college and looking for good money, solid benefits, and stability. He looked miserable, though, and his ill-fitting suit didn't look much better. I anticipated spending that hour with someone who had a signature zest for life, but instead, I shared a meal with a guy who looked like he had just buried his dog. As the conversation picked up, he confessed how much he hated this job. It wasn't a bad job; far from it! Rather, it just wasn't the right job for him. He had different dreams, and this definitely wasn't it. A few weeks later, he left work one afternoon and never returned. Not even his wife knew he had quit.....until she returned home later that night.

That guy was Cole, Meaning Over Money co-founder and my good friend. And that sad lunch encounter occurred nearly ten years ago. Cole quit that job with no backup plan (not advised), while still deeply in debt (also not advised), without talking to his wife (definitely not advised), and began his dream of becoming a freelance videographer. The road has been anything but smooth for him. Ups and downs, hot streaks and dry spells, great opportunities and broken promises. Through it all, he persevered, never losing sight of what he was trying to accomplish. He bought a house, continued to build his business, had a kid, fought to pursue work that matters, had another kid, kept chasing his calling, and will soon have yet another kid.

I'm no Swiftie, but as I eagerly anticipated Taylor Swift's arrival into the stadium last night, I knew it would be Cole on the other end of that camera, continuing to live out his unique journey and vision. ESPN contracted him to be on Monday Night Football Taylor Swift watch, followed by filming the post-game press conference interviews for the Chiefs players and coaches.

I don't mean to sound like I have a man crush on my business partner, but I'm just so dang proud of where he's been, where he's at, and where he'll soon go. It makes it even sweeter knowing how difficult the journey has been. I would say he's stared fear in the face, but he's a retired kicker, and I'm not sure kickers can feel fear. But the struggle is real. If anyone ever pulls out the it-must-be-nice-to-be-him card, I'll be the first one to share the stories of what it looked like behind the scenes, during the crappy periods, when things were uncertain, and when it probably seemed to be anything but "nice to be him."

I'm no Swiftie, but that's pretty cool!

I couldn’t find the actual ESPN footage he recorded, but it was a similar angle as this clip.

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Broken Bones and Torn ACLs

I began a seemingly innocent client relationship about a year ago. It was a young couple making good money and generally having much success. They brought me into their lives to shift them into an entirely new gear. The goal was to go from good to great. Then, life happened. Within a short time span, this couple experienced significant turmoil. Pain and suffering, followed by pain and suffering, followed by more pain and suffering. It was almost laughable how brutally life crushed them.

Through it all, this couple simply kept going, one painful step forward after another. During one intense meeting, I asked them how they were approaching this season of life. His response: "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." Wise and powerful words, and I couldn't agree more! This couple's mission and calling are profound, and it didn't surprise me that they kept moving forward.

This is a tell. When someone's mission is so important that not even the most absurdly painful roadblocks can derail them, it's a tell that they are doing exactly what they are meant to do. The moment I see this characteristic in a client is the moment I know they WILL win. It's not a matter of if, but when.

It reminds me of something I saw a few days ago. Longtime readers know my family is Twenty One Pilot superfans. We're actually going to see them perform this weekend! A news report recently broke on social media about their lead singer, Tyler Joseph. After nearly two months into their world tour, it was revealed that he broke his fibula and tore his ACL…..in the very first minute of his very first show. The show opens dramatically, with Tyler launching himself over his piano, grabbing a hanging mic, and landing in position for his start to Overcompensate.

But the very first night of the tour, he lands with a snap and pop......but nobody knew! He performed the entire 2-hour set in the immediate aftermath of this disaster. He subsequently performed the opening piano jump for another nine nights before eventually altering his entrance. Unbelievable! I need you to see it to give you the full context. Check out the video clip! It's not a great quality, but it gives a solid angle and perspective of the incident. I queued the video to start at the right moment (around the 2-minute mark).

It's weird to watch this through the lens of knowing he broke a bone and tore his ACL in this moment. In the words of my friend, "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." That's the tell. It’s unknown when he’ll be able to surgically fix this injury, as they have shows scheduled through mid-May. As I watch Tyler work his way around the arena on Saturday, performing his heart out while creating memories for thousands of fans, I'll be thinking about this. He’ll undoubtedly be in tremendous pain, but also living out his calling. That’s awesome!

I hope you have a mission that's big enough to power you through the pain and suffering of life. It won't be easy, but man, it will be worth it!

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More Begets More

I became fascinated by watches in my early 20s. After purchasing a relatively nice one, I wanted more watches. Before too long, I had collected more than 20.

I purchased a pretty cool car when I was a sophomore in college. I loved it so much that I soon wanted an even cooler car (when I actually had money).

I purchased my first house when I was 26 years old. It was plenty of house for me, but after a while (as my income kept growing), I wanted a bigger house.

I visited a custom tailor on my first trip to Asia, where I purchased my first hand-made suit. This experience sparked a desire to buy more custom suits.

I started drinking bourbon about five years ago. After a friend gifted me a high-end bottle, it made me want to start buying more bottles to add to my collection.

More begets more. More is the gateway drug to more. The moment we pursue more, we encounter the slippery slope of materialism. It's intoxicating; it's alluring. It also feels innocent enough. Small incremental decisions that will seemingly make us happy. Most decisions are small enough not to alter our lives materially.

We also find great ways to justify our decisions:

• That house is an investment.

• That car is more reliable than our last one.

• That suit makes us look more professional (status increase).

• Those watches and bottles of bourbon aren't terribly expensive, so why not!?!?

I'm grateful I avoided most of this slippery slope (after that initial watch binge). Some would call it perspective; others might call it luck. Whatever it is, I'm so glad I didn't detrimentally succumb to a dangerous path. It's not for lack of want, though. Each of these things tugs at my psyche and desires. It's not the want that hurts us, but rather the decisions that come from it.

While I've done a decent job avoiding these pitfalls, many people aren't as fortunate. This is one of the biggest traps I see families fall into. Once they taste more, they want more. And the problem with more is that every time we get more, more is still, well, more. Thus begins the materialism death spiral.

There are many consequences of this materialistic journey. We live a more strained life (lack of margin). We might not save for future needs. We inadvertently give up other purchases that would actually add more value to our lives. We refrain from being generous. We make career choices focused on the money (i.e. not the meaning). It creates tension in our marriages. The ratchet tightens.....all because we decide to chase more.

I'll let you decide where you see yourself in these stories, but regardless of where you land, I have good news and bad news:

• Bad News: We're not stuck in one place. If you feel like you have your materialistic urges in check, there's always a risk of falling into the trap if you're not careful.

• Good News: We're not stuck in one place. If you've already gone down the wrong road, there's always time to pull it back the other way. You can do it!

You got this!

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Ruin vs. Waste

I returned home last night after a brutal 30-hour travel day from Mongolia, to Korea, to Minneapolis, to Des Moines. I'll be emceeing a banquet tonight, so if the organizers were wise, they would have a stick handy to poke me each time I fall asleep. The following thoughts percolated in my brain while I explored the Seoul airport. 

I've had the same Pastor for about 13 years. His name is Mike. He has a particular way of meeting me where I'm at. He doesn't go over my head, or try to overcomplicate things. Instead, each week, he attempts to take this 2,000+-year-old text and communicate it to his congregation in a way that's not only understandable but applicable. He was certainly good at his craft 13 years ago, but after thousands more repetitions, I've recognized he's gotten progressively better. 

With that backdrop in mind, paired with my deep admiration and respect for him, he recently dropped a bomb that stuck with me. It landed so hard that I pulled out my phone mid-service to jot it in my Notes app. "Most of us aren't at risk of ruining our life. Most of us are at risk of wasting it." Now, Pastor Mike isn't known for mic drops or Mike Breen "Bang!" moments, but if he were, this would have been one. 

In my work, this is exactly what I see play out in families all across the country. Most people are trying to be responsible, accountable, and productive. There's a lot of public conjecture that says otherwise, but I firmly believe the vast majority of people are trying to do right. They aren't ruining their lives. They are very much keeping the train on the tracks (or at least attempting to). Go to work. Be present for their kids. Don't cheat on their spouse. Handle finances well enough to cover their needs. Put in an honest day's work (and earn promotions along the way). Go to church. Serve others in various ways, whether it be co-workers, neighbors, friends, or family. Most people aren't ruining their lives…..quite the opposite. 

However, now comes the next part. Watching people, in their pursuit of not ruining their lives, I see an awful lot of people wasting it. Unhappiness is at an all-time recorded high. Mental illness is skyrocketing. Study after study shows that state of workplace satisfaction is at miserable levels. I've quoted this study many times, but Gallup reports that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 people! When we spend half our waking hours in misery, that's a whiff. Yes, there's honor in pushing through and dutifully going to a job you don't love. That's called accountability and responsibility, which aligns well with the idea of not ruining our lives. However, sustained misery in the workplace is also a telltale sign of wasting one's life. 

There are other tells, though, and they often look like regret. Regret for not trying something. Regret for not truly engaging in faith. Regret for not taking that chance. Regret for not going on that trip. Regret for not serving someone. Regret for not investing in that relationship. Regret for not having the difficult conversation. None of these point to ruin, but every one points to waste. 

A friend recently asked me how I can live with myself for having given up so much money these last five years (since leaving my prior career). The answer is simple. Sarah and I don't want to waste our life. We live with ourselves knowing we are living a truly blessed life. Richer, but not in a financial sense.

Something worth thinking about today. I hope you're living a life you're neither ruining nor wasting. A life full of meaning.

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I Just Wanna Play Football

I’m thoroughly enjoying my time in Mongolia. The meetings have been fruitful, the relationships rich, and the experiences seared into my memory forever. But for some reason, I can’t quit thinking about the following story.

I often reflect on a particular conversation I had years ago with a bunch of my high school youth group kids. I don't remember the overarching topic of the conversation, but I pulled out a normal-to-me question: "What do you want to do when you're an adult?" The kids around me were a mix of guys and girls, primarily athletes (basketball, volleyball, and football players). I received many to-be-expected answers; teachers, engineers, doctors, veterinarians, etc. Then, one of the guys says, "I just wanna play football." While he was a clearly a stud athlete, he was also the smallest guy in his crew that day. A couple of his buddies snickered at his answer. They weren't laughing AT him or mocking him by any means, but his answer seemed far-fetched. 

A few years later, he was blessed with an opportunity to take his talents to a major D1 football program. He didn't get a full scholarship in his first year, but he made the team! When I asked him what he hoped for, he immediately answered, "I just wanna play." Simple enough. And play he did! If my memory serves me right, an early-season in-game injury to one of his teammates allowed him an opportunity to show his stuff. Turns out, his stuff was pretty good. The rest is history. 

A few weeks ago, he became the first white starting cornerback in the NFL since 2002. I don't usually focus too much on race (especially in sport), but that's an absurd and wild statistic. Not one white dude has started at cornerback in the NFL since Jason Seahorn started 22 years ago! Not only did Riley start, but he's absolutely crushing it. He had 12 tackles in a single game…..as a cornerback! His name is Riley Moss, and he plays for the Denver Broncos. From the Ankeny Centennial Jaguars, to the Iowa Hawkeyes, to the Denver Broncos. Awesome story!

I don't have a close relationship with Riley, but I admire his journey from afar. It's so fun watching people just go for it. Our culture says to lower our expectations and just settle in for something normal, safe, and practical. Yet, here's a young man who had a big dream and kept moving forward. There's probably a world where he doesn't make the NFL; an unfortunate break, an untimely injury, or a missed opportunity. But had that happened, Riley could at least look back at his journey with no regrets. No woulda, shoulda, couldas. 

This really isn't about becoming a professional athlete, or rich, or famous, or powerful. It's about giving yourself permission to dream, and then going for it. The courage to fight our prevailing culture and take the path less traveled. To block out what the world says, and just leave it all on the field, as they say. 

I wish Riley nothing but the best. I hope he accomplishes everything he pursues. It's not going to be an easy journey, and he will most certainly face pain, suffering, and challenges. But it will be a beautiful journey, regardless.

I wish the same for you!

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Yes

We just wrapped up two days of amazing meetings at a rustic lodge about two hours outside Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. My head is spinning. As I attempt to write today's piece, all I can think about is the word "yes."

Meal after meal, meeting after meeting, and conversation after conversation, I spent time with people who said "yes." "Yes" to their faith. "Yes" to their calling. "Yes" to their work. "Yes" to the sacrifice. "Yes" to a deeply meaningful life. To call it a humbling experience would be an understatement.

I'm always a proponent of a posture of "yes." I'm sure you could find a dozen posts about it from the last few years, but this week's experience in Mongolia puts that idea on steroids.

As one last act of "yes," as we packed our bags and prepared to leave for the city, a group of us said "yes" to a last-minute hike up the nearby mountain. To be honest, it was far more challenging than I imagined (and dangerous, too). We shared lots of laughs, built into our growing relationships, and created some new memories. Lastly, the payoff was beautiful! Here's a little selfie from our mountaintop view. You can see our gers at the base of the mountain, between my friends Rob and Emily.

It would have been so easy for us to pass on the opportunity. We were already tired from our meetings, never mind the jet lag. We were slightly behind schedule and needed to get back to the city and transition to the next phase of our trip. But we said "yes".....and it was awesome.

Our collective "yes" in that moment is nothing compared to some of the weighty "yes'" that many people make every day, but one "yes" begets another. I believe in the culture of "yes." It's contagious. It's infectious. It's powerful. Not a "yes" despite the discomfort and sacrifice, but a "yes" because of the discomfort and sacrifice. That's where the meaning, beauty, fulfillment, and impact is born.

Whatever you're up to today, I hope you have a posture of "yes." And I hope that "yes" begets another "yes." Fast forward days, weeks, or months, and I hope you create, live, and spread a culture of "yes." I think you deserve it.....and those around you do, too!

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Be the Worst Person In the Room

Good morning, friends in the West. Being 13 hours ahead of you (i.e. a time traveler), I can confidently say Monday will be a great day.

Due to popular demand, below are a few photos of my current accommodations in Mongolia. I woke up this morning by stepping out of my ger (traditional Mongolian dwelling) and into a beautiful mountain sunrise view. I shared a wonderful breakfast with friends, followed by a full day of productive meetings.

I intentionally chose a provocative title for today's piece, but it's sincerely how I feel. It's an alternative way to view the old moniker: "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with." These last few days, I've spent time with countless people who have made far more impact, have a much grander vision, and have made much deeper sacrifices in their journeys than I can ever imagine. So, in other words, I feel like the worst person in the room. I don't use that language to be self-deprecating or critical of myself, but rather because of how much respect, admiration, and love I have for these people and the work they are doing.

For as big as my mission and vision is, spending time with these people reminds me of how small my little brain actually thinks. I'm challenged and encouraged just by being in their presence. Do you have any people like that in your life? If so, spend more time with them. If not, find some……then spend as much time as possible with them.

I've been reflecting on how hard these last five years have been for Sarah and me. The comfort is mostly gone. There is no ease. We progressively see the consequences of our sacrifices. There are days we wish we would wave our magic wand and live a cushier, grander, and more comfortable life. You know, the life most people are pursuing…….the life we used to have before we waved the opposite magic wand. But then, I spend time in rooms like I've experienced these last few days, and I'm reminded that there is far more impact to be made, bigger visions to be cast, and much more profound sacrifices to endure.

No, I'm not trying to demean myself. But wow, there are so many amazing people all around us. My challenge today is to spend as much time with them as you can. Be the worst person in the room; it's a life-giving and honorable place to be. 

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Slivers of Light in the Darkness

It's been 24 hours since I wrote yesterday's blog, meaning I should be enjoying the sights and sounds of Mongolia by now. That's not my reality, though. Instead, I'm sitting at the same table in the Chicago airport where I wrote yesterday's piece. 

Let me rewind. As my 11-hour layover ended yesterday, I was eager to board my flight to Istanbul. The anticipation had been building for months, and more so as I sat there. As the gate agents were preparing to begin boarding, I heard an announcement over the speaker: "Would Shelton Travis please come to the ticket counter?" I approached the counter, "Am I in trouble?" "You're not in trouble, but you're not getting on this flight……or any flight." Uh oh. Thus began one of the worst travel experiences of my life. The short version of the story is that my passport didn't have enough term remaining to legally enter Mongolia. Translation: I screwed up. I was nervous about having enough time in the trip's lead-up to renew my passport, but a trusted travel friend assured me I was good to go for this specific trip. BUT. BUT, I didn't confirm. I didn't follow through. I didn't fully vet it. I screwed up. I'm the author of this terrible story. 

Here's what happened next:

• I learned there is an emergency passport service in Chicago; one of the few cities that offers such a service. 

• The passport office still had an early-next-day opening available, so I booked it. 

• I grabbed a hotel room near the airport.

• I got on the phone with the ticketing agency to sort through this mess; I learned my options.

• After 4 hours of crappy sleep, I packed up and took a 45-minute Uber to the Federal building in downtown Chicago.

• I found a passport photo shop, filled out an application for a passport renewal, and met with an agent.

• I waited five hours to pick up my new passport. 

• Meanwhile, I spent 90 minutes on the phone with a ticketing agent to get a new flight. Ultimately, I ended up on the same route as previously scheduled, but one day later. 

• Now, I'm back at the airport, again hopeful to board a flight. 

Needless to say, this has sucked more than I can ever express. It's felt lonely, defeating, and demoralizing. It would be so easy to play the victim card and glass-half-empty this thing into oblivion (the thought crossed my mind). But there have been so many things to be grateful for:

• This debacle happened in a rare city offering same-day emergency passport services.

• My friends John and Jenn, while on the other side of the earth, were a calming presence during my most stressful hours. 

• The fact I was able to quickly grab a cheap hotel room right next to the airport. 

• The hotel clerk, who showed me much grace and generosity when I approached the counter with my makeshift 11PM dinner comprised of roasted peanuts, a Nutrigrain bar, and a guacamole cup (options were sparse, and I was starving). I presented her with a $10 bill. "Not tonight. This one is on me." 

• My early morning Uber driver, who gave me an oddly calm and relaxing drive. Side note: look up "violin covers" on Spotify!

• The Federal Building security guard, who gave me a tip for the best and quickest passport photos down the street. His tip allowed me to arrive just as they opened, avoiding the rapidly building line.

• The Orbitz ticket agent, who showed me amazing patience and hospitality as we navigated the re-booking process. He was a lifesaver!

• If all goes well, I still won't miss any critical meetings in Mongolia. 

This is truly one of the worst travel experiences of my life, but there are always slivers of light in the darkness. We have two options: We can concede defeat, be a victim, and lament how terrible everything is, or keep moving forward, show resilience, and find those little slivers. I'm so glad I was able to find them today.

I hope your day goes far better than my last few have, but even if not, I hope you look for the slivers of light as well!

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When In Rome

People often ask me if I batch my blog posts and keep a bank of them for future use. Truth is, I write and publish each article each day. It's a habit I picked up from the encouragement of my friend, Gary. That practice has added beauty and richness to my life, as well as a bulletproof discipline of consistent writing.....no matter what. It's amazing how many ideas will come to us when we're expected to come up with ideas; it's a fun psychological hack.

I share all this because today, I'm breaking my rule. I'm batching a few blog posts due to my possible schedule quirks and internet connectivity uncertainties. I'm sitting in the Chicago O'Hare Airport on an 11-hour layover, awaiting my flight to Mongolia. By the time you read this (if you are a read-it-as-soon-as-the-email-arrives sort of blog reader), I'll be approaching the Middle East, where I'll connect with a few friends who are coming in from Kenya. My goal is to still write and publish each day (with a bend toward what I'm experiencing in Mongolia), but backup posts will be ready if I get run off the interstate by a herd of animals or ingest too much Airag (fermented horse milk).

Speaking of, I love the expression "When in Rome." It encapsulates my perspective of and approach to travel. The moment I depart Chicago, I will set my Midwest American culture, norms, and preferences aside and embrace the culture I'm entering. The food, language (I'll try), customs, and rhythms. If someone invites me to do something, I'll do it. If someone hands me something to eat, I'll eat it. If someone wants to talk about a particular topic, I'll discuss it.

It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be awkward at times. It's going to push my boundaries. But that's what travel is all about! Our American culture isn't "right." Rather, it's our culture. That's great. I love so many things about our American culture. In due time, I'll miss pizza, cheeseburgers, football, my bed, the three amazing weeks we get of Iowa fall weather (IYKYK), and all the other aspects of my American life I never think about. But in the meantime, I'll wholeheartedly embrace a different culture and a different way.....and it will make for some of the greatest travel memories I'll ever experience.

I'll leave you with one rule a wise friend once told me. "If they eat it, why shouldn't you?" Sharing a meal with someone and shutting down their invitation to share their culture (through food) with you is a slap in the face. Having someone share their culture with you is an intimate experience.....and a gift. I never take that gift for granted.

Don't take the gift of culture for granted. Don't retreat to comfort. Don't seek familiar. Don't take the easy way out. When in Rome!

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Hop Into My DeLorean

Not long ago, I was having lunch with a former youth group kid. He's nearly 30 years old now, diving head-first into life. Career, marriage, ministry, babies....all the good stuff. Amidst that conversation, I uttered the words, "Man, what I would give to go back to being 30!!!!"

Fast forward a few weeks, and I was talking to an elderly man I cross paths with from time to time. He asked about my businesses, kids, and sports teams. Always a fun brief chat! Toward the end, he uttered the words, "I wish I could go back to age 45!"

I thought a lot about that. I'm sitting here in my early 40s, lamenting how I wish I could go back to 30, and an older man is lamenting how he wishes he could go back to an age that's even older than me!

That's when it dawned on me. I don't have a DeLorean that can take me back to age 30, but I do have a different type of DeLorean. Someday (if someone doesn't kill me first), I'll be and old man. And that old man Travis would probably do anything to have a DeLorean that could take him back to his early 40s.

That means today is a gift. I could wish myself younger all I want, but doing so would prevent me from realizing I probably have 40+ productive years left on this earth. What a gift! I'm already living my DeLorean life for soon-to-be old Travis. I best not waste the opportunity.

However old you are, remember there's probably someone who would give anything to go back to your age. Lucky for you that you're already there! Carpe diem! Make it count. Have an awesome day!

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I Guess I’ll Go There

Today's post will be a bit different than most. It's a post I never intended to write, but I feel an unshakable nudge to do it. I'm not sure what the impact could or should be, but I pray whatever impact it has, it outweighs the discomfort and possible consequences of writing it. I'm also willfully exceeding my self-imposed 500-word limit, but I hope it's worth it!

Occasionally, I'll get hit with a particular question that shakes me to the core. I immediately know the answer to said question, but I rarely answer it head-on. Those closest to me know the answer, but outside of a select few, it's a mostly unknown piece of my story......well, until today. Here's the question:

"You look at life very weird." Yeah, I realize that's not a question. That's the typical setup to the question. Here's what follows: "Why do you see the world the way you do, and what makes you choose the weird life you live?" That's a paraphrase, but it's an amalgamation of the various ways it gets asked.

Several factors probably play into that answer (including faith), but there's one specific factor that, as you'll see in a moment, perhaps moves the needle more than I care to admit. For more than ten years, I have lived under the threat of death (at the hands of another). I've been told it will happen, and others around us have been told it will happen. Not if, but when. It's been an ever-present piece of Sarah and I's lives. We've worked with authorities in multiple municipalities, but unfortunately, nothing can be done until something happens. It feels a bit ironic that "something happening" is me dying, but once that something happens, there's no longer a reason for authorities to protect me from something happening. Oh well, I've made peace with this long ago.

I've always joked that the end of my life will appear on a Dateline episode. It's a tasteless joke, I know. But perhaps it's the joke I needed to tell to work through the insanity of my situation.

I lived in fear for the longest time. Anxious about where I was. Nervous to post on social media. Hesitant to put myself in vulnerable situations. Then, it dawned on me; I was treating myself as if I were already dead.....which is just as bad as death itself. The other person, without even following through on their promise, had already won. That moment sparked an immediate and drastic shift in me.

Instead of living as if I were dying, I would live as if I were celebrating the fact I was still alive. It made me think about meaning, impact, and relationships. I realized that if my life were ultimately cut short, I ought to live with as much meaning and impact as possible while I have the chance.

I don't think about this situation as much anymore. It's not part of my everyday life, and I no longer look over my shoulder. While enough time has passed to cause this threat to (hopefully) become an asterisk in my story, there's no doubt it influences my decisions and which paths I take in this journey called life. I hope I live a long and meaningful life, but if it's going to get cut short for any reason, at least it will be a short AND MEANINGFUL life.

I'm fascinated by people who have looked death in the face. Cancer champions, car crash survivors, and a myriad of other wild situations. One thing that stands out for most is that their experience has significantly altered how they see and approach life. Meaning. Purpose. Gratitude for the time here. The realization that our time is limited.

I just met a new friend yesterday who lives with unapologetic joy, purpose, and meaning. So much so that I brought up this concept with her; I knew something must have happened. Sure enough, she shares the most tragic and painful story imaginable. She stared death in the face, and while it was excruciatingly heartbreaking, something beautiful came out of it: the life she leads and the impact she's making on this world.

While I don't wish terrifying and life-threatening experiences on anyone, I deeply desire each and every person to understand how special this opportunity of life is, find meaning in all of it, and not wait until tomorrow to "actually enjoy it."

Yeah, I'm definitely weird. But I know a lot of other weirdos who also view and live life differently. I hope they realize how much impact they are making, and more importantly, I hope you self-identify with them!

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