“Throwing Away” a Career, Revisited

It's 2:30 AM. Sarah and I just pulled in from a 10-hour drive after visiting our best friends, Ryan and Anna. It feels like my brain is melting onto my laptop keyboard, as I single-handedly drove the entire 10 hours solo (Sarah failed to learn how to drive a stick over the last few days.....shame on her!). We intended to drive six hours today and then do the remaining four in the morning, but we got ambitious.

We had a wonderful time with Ryan and Anna. It ended up being 42 total hours together (including two nights of sleep), but it was jam-packed with laughter, memories, food, and good conversation......and Twenty One Pilots!

- I'm definitely kneeling in this picture.....

Given how much time I had to think during the drive home, my mind went in many different directions. Eventually, I found myself thinking back to an article I wrote more than four years ago. It was about Anna, but more specifically, about her counter-cultural career shifts. First, her decision to forego her WNBA career, and second, her decision to leave teaching to pursue her current calling. You can find the article here! While refueling at a gas station, I pulled the article up on my phone. A few thoughts rattled around my dreary, melting brain:

• Having written more than 800 articles since that one, I cringed a bit at my writing style and structure. It shows the power of repetition and consistency.

• It's fun to see how, even then, my perspective of work and meaning were quite similar to today. The phrase "meaning over money" hadn't yet been coined, but the values were loud and clear.

• Given the benefit of time, it's so fun to see how Anna's career shifts (or "thrown away" careers) have shaped her and impacted countless people.

• Nothing is wasted, indeed!

• Pursuing the type of journey that Anna did is far harder than we can imagine, but simultaneously more fulfilling than we can anticipate.

• Knowing what I know now, I'd double down on encouraging Anna in her controversial career shifts. I'd also encourage younger me to double down on this message.

• While I never took my relationship with Ryan and Anna for granted, I look back and wish I had squeezed every ounce of goodness from it I could while we lived near each other.

I'm grateful for my friend Anna, and I deeply admire how she took the path less traveled. It's not been an easy journey, but so many people have been blessed by her contributions to their lives. Someday, I hope she gets a window into some of that impact. Her legacy will have ripple effects, for sure.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, and I hope I'm still sleeping when you read this!

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Your Pain Has Purpose

Just a few hours ago, I walked out of the Twenty One Pilots concert. It's the first stop of their new world tour, and wow (wow!!!), what an amazing experience!

For two straight hours, Tyler Joseph ripped his heart out of his chest and splayed it out before a crowd of 21,000 energetic fans. I've seen him do it before, but it never ceases to amaze me. This man, like all of us, has his demons. Pain, suffering, tragedy, and ongoing anguish. He's broken, just like you and I. However, what sets Tyler apart is the fact he takes the darkest and most embarrassing pieces of his being and uses them to impact the world. Their shows are an exploration of faith, pain, perseverance, and the celebration of life. Last night was no exception!

It reminds me of listening to Joni Eareckson speak at the Global Leadership Summit last week. If you're not familiar with Joni, her life became a national news story in 1967 when, at the age of 17, she experienced a tragic accident while swimming with some friends. She inadvertently dove into shallow waters and became paralyzed from the shoulders down. In the following years, Joni harnessed her pain and unwelcomed circumstances to champion the creation of the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), write more than 40 books, and become a lifelong advocate for more than a billion people who experience life with disabilities.

Joni's talk was one of the most moving things I've ever witnessed, and she received no less than four standing ovations. I spent the better part of 40 minutes with tears in my eyes, witnessing this woman pour out her soul before a room of strangers. "God uses our weaknesses to impact His kingdom," she exclaimed. Her humility and grace, despite all she's accomplished, stood out like no other. There were a million different people who had more influence, more experience, more smarts, and more skills who could have led this movement. Yet, in her words, God used a young woman, fresh off tragic, life-altering circumstances with no experience or influence, to create change in this world.

As I think about Joni's life and ministry, and continue to marvel at what Tyler does to impact millions of people, I keep coming back to the idea of pain and weakness. Our pain and weaknesses aren't something to hide from. We don't make a difference despite our pain, failings, and weaknesses. Rather, it's those unsavory parts of us that fuel us and have the ability to create a profound impact on this world.

I'll end with a confession. There are days that I'm nervous about hitting "publish" on this blog and our podcast. I share things I don't want to share. I expose myself when I could just bury it. However, deep down, I know that my pain, failings, and weaknesses are the tools with which I can make an impact.

The same goes for you......

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The Verdict Is In

"How's the midlife crisis treating you?" asked my friend Emma as I was getting out of my new (to me) 2006 Nissan 350Z. "It's going fantastic! Thanks for asking," I responded. Emma, man! Always busting my chops!

This week marks the five-month mark since pulling the trigger on this car. Oddly enough, until yesterday, Sarah had only spent a grand total of five minutes in it. Then came yesterday. We did a 10-hour road trip to visit some of our closest friends and experience the opening night of Twenty One Pilot's new tour. Sarah and I had a blast. The top was down, the sun was up, the weather was beautiful, and the Twenty One Pilot music was blaring. The only negative is that Sarah can't drive a stick shift, so she gleefully allowed me to drive the entire 10 hours in one sitting (while she endured multiple sun-soaked naps).

The verdict is in. After five months of driving this car and 10 hours cruising across multiple states with Sarah, I can confidently testify that, besides some of our giving, this was the best $9,000 I've spent in my life. I waited 17 years to purchase this car, and it's lived up to every ounce of anticipation I could have ever imagined (and more).

I didn't need this car. There were more "responsible" things to do with $9,000. An investment in the stock market would have yielded a far better financial outcome than buying an 18-year-old car that will only go down in value. There are surely better financial decisions besides buying a fun car.

All of that is true, yet this one was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Why? Because not everything is about money. The amount of memories I've already made with this car is staggering. The boys love hopping in and cruising our town. They know exactly what songs they want to play. They know what ice cream shops to direct me to. They eagerly anticipate one-on-one time with their dad. It's not about money; it's about something much bigger.

- Pax proudly posing after a fresh wash

No, we don't need money to create memories. Memories are free. However, I'm so glad I chose to spend this $9,000 on this car. After 17 years of waiting, it seems like a fitting and poetic end to the story. Had I purchased it 17 years ago when I was a young single guy, it would have been cool.....but not this cool. Instead, I get to road trip with my wife. I get to have jam sessions with my sons. I get to let friends and youth group kids borrow it. It's so much more than money.

I hope you have your version of this. If you don't, I encourage you to find it. Don't make it about money. Don't obsess about making the right financial move. Make a decision that bends in favor of meaning. Create those memories! You won't regret it.

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Don’t Stop Celebrating

Speaking of cars running into coffee shops, yesterday's post instantly took me back to the hours and days immediately following the second car crash incident in May. There were so many emotions flowing through me during that time. On the one hand, I was celebrating how amazing Northern Vessel was doing, but on the other hand, mourning the crash. On the one hand, I was excited to be showing my kids around the great city of Chicago, but on the other, stressed out of my mind by all that was happening.

In the midst of that, I wrote a piece titled Can't Have the Good Without the Bad. It was a cathartic piece about pain, survival, and perseverance. More than anything, it was my attempt to process the myriad of emotions I was experiencing.

Later that day, I received an encouraging text from my friend John, offering his support, love, and encouragement. He ended his text with this: "P.S. - and in the midst of all of this at the coffee shop, don't let this bump in the road keep you from celebrating and retelling your memories and stories from Chicago specifically today, tomorrow, this coming next week. Lean into that and intentionally continue the Chicago memory building this coming week."

The truth is, I did let the crash keep me from celebrating and retelling my memories from that Chicago week. Shame on me! I've thought a lot about that text and ultimately landed here: better late than never!

So today, my friends, I want to share a quick story. I had the honor of taking my boys to their first-ever Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field. They are the same age I experienced my first Cubs game (and I'd go on to visit Wrigley Field at least once per year for the next 23 years). I even booked tickets in the same general area where we sat during my first Cubs experience way back in the late '80s. As we were casually shopping for souvenirs, one particular item caught Pax's attention. It was a little wooden bat, painted in a glossy Cubby blue. He instantly fell in love. After we pulled the trigger and were walking into the stadium with new bat in hand, I revealed to him that my souvenir for my first Cubs game was a little blue wooden bat!

Everything about that night was magical. I really can't even explain how much fun all four of us had. To top it off, we got to experience extra innings under the stars. As the Cubs stepped to the plate in the bottom of the 10th inning, my gut told me to pull out my camera to record. I'm usually the guy who would much rather soak in the moment than pull the camera out, but this one felt different. In hindsight, I'm so glad I did. I'll never forget this moment, and it's fun I get to show it to you today. Enjoy!

Oh yeah, don't stop celebrating. In the midst of all the bumps in the road, don't forget to celebrate. Wise words from John. Thank you, John!

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Memories Are Free: Golden Curry Edition

Wow(!!!) is the only word that can even remotely describe how amazing the end of the men's gold medal game was yesterday. With about three minutes remaining, France's run narrowed the gap to a three-point game. The U.S. was playing well, but France, fueled by their raucous home crowd, kept clawing back. Wemby, now just 20 years old, proved he's likely the future face of the NBA. He made play after play after play. Then, Steph Curry steps to the plate. I encourage you to check it out for yourself by clicking this link!

Ok, for the 90% of you who didn't click the above link, I'll explain what happened. Curry drills his 5th three-pointer of the game with 2:45 remaining, stunting France's run. Then, his 6th at the 1:51 mark. Then his 7th, a shot-clock buzzer-beater at the 1:18 mark. Then, in what will inevitably become an iconic moment in the history of international basketball (if not basketball, period), he drills his 8th on two defenders, in heat-check fashion, with 34 seconds remaining to seal the Olympic gold medal. That last one, man! Finn was freaking out, and I instantly had tears in my eyes. The raw emotion and euphoria were surreal. I will never, ever, ever forget that moment.

I've been replaying that sequence of events in my head for more than 12 hours—the sequence of events that played out on my TV and the sequence of events that played out in my living room. I'm so grateful for that time Finn and I spent together, and I hope that memory is as vivid for him as it surely will be for me.

Memories are free! In a culture that tells us we need to spend hundreds, thousands, or tens of thousands of dollars to create memories, I'm here to remind you today that memories are free. Sure, you can spend thousands of dollars to create a memory. That's perfectly fine, if you have the resources. But money isn't a prerequisite for memories. What Finn and I experienced together cost us nothing other than our presence and our togetherness. The rest took care of itself.

It's so easy to get lost in the idea that we must create these elaborate, exotic, expensive, and Instagram-worth experiences. Instead, the simplest moments can often be the most profound. I've experienced so many once-in-a-lifetime experiences that I never imagined I'd have access to in my life. Yet, it's usually those simple and free memories that pop back into my mind and my heart. Curry's golden moment, shared on my living room couch with Finn, will likely be one of them, and I will cherish it forever.

Go make some memories, and please don't let lack of money get in the way of a life-giving, until-you-die memory.

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Van Gogh, Via Hoag

I recently received a text from my friend, mentor, and brother, Gary Hoag (The Generosity Monk), that's too good not to share.

On a recent trip to Amsterdam, Gary stopped by Vincent van Gogh's museum to spend a rare bit of free time. There, he picked up a book titled Life According to Vincent. He was reading it on his flight, then stumbled upon page 17. Here's what it said:

"In my view I'm often very rich, not in money, but rich [...] because I've found my work - have something which I live for heart and soul and which gives me inspiration and meaning to life."

Van Gogh is commonly considered one of the greatest artists of all time. More than 140 years after beginning his painting career, his name and legacy still endure in our modern world. Similarly, his work continues to bless people many generations later.

Gary is a big fan of van Gogh, as evidenced by his using van Gogh's art as the cover for most of his books (including the book he and I wrote together). Admittedly, I'm not extraordinarily well-versed in van Gogh. In my brief research, I have three facts that may blow your mind:

• Van Gogh started his painting career at age 27, and in a 9-year stretch, he created more than 900 pieces of work.

• In his lifetime, van Gogh only sold only one painting, which transacted seven months before he died.

• Van Gogh primarily used flowers, landscapes, farmers, and himself as subjects for his art, as he didn't have enough money to hire models.

When we think of people like van Gogh, we automatically assume he experienced the material riches any world-famous celebrity could have access to. That doesn't appear to be the case with van Gogh, though. By most accounts, his resources were limited, and he relied heavily on the financial support of family members. That's a pretty ironic reality juxtaposed with the fact one of his paintings sold for $149 million in 1990 (approximately 100 years after he painted it).

With that context, let me share that quote again:

"In my view I'm often very rich, not in money, but rich [...] because I've found my work - have something which I live for heart and soul and which gives me inspiration and meaning to life."

Those words sound so sweet through the lens of a man who didn't covet and chase the riches of the world. Instead, he thrived on purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.

I've been thinking about this quote since Gary generously shared it with me, and I'll probably be thinking about it for many more days. I hope it blesses you like it did me.

In the words of van Gogh, via Hoag, I hope you have something which you live for heart and soul and which gives inspiration and meaning to your life.

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What Money Can’t Buy

Guys! Guys! Guys! I discovered a new parenting hack this week. Each night, Sarah and I told the kids they could stay up later.......if.......if they watched the Olympics with us. They were initially unhappy about this condition, but staying up late is staying up late.

The first night: "Uh, I don't want to watch gymnastics. Gymnastics is boring!"

The second night: "Swimming is boring! Can we watch something else?"

The third night: "Daddy, can we watch gymnastics tonight? Is swimming on, too?"

The fourth night: "I hope Biles is playing tonight!"

We've been geeking out on swimming and gymnastics all week, and it's been fun to share that with the boys. Finn even tried to imitate Katie Ledecky at the pool one day.

The interesting thing about swimming and gymnastics is we collectively aren't really swimming or gymnastics fans, but once every four years, we're glued to our TVs. The Olympics is their showcase to the world, and we're grateful to consume the content. Knowing how much work goes into these sports, and how little they get paid (on average), can we all agree these athletes are pursuing meaning over money?

Then, there's the other sports. Basketball, soccer, golf, and tennis, for example. These athletes are some of the highest-paid athletes in the world. Lebron James is a literal billionaire!!! Many of these athletes get paid tens of millions per year.....not including their endorsements!

Here's where I'm going with this. Yesterday afternoon, I received two separate messages from two separate blog readers. They wanted to highlight "meaning over money moments." One was of tennis superstar Novak Djokovic collapsing to the ground after winning gold. The other was of golfer Scottie Scheffler breaking down with emotion while listening to our national anthem after receiving his gold medal.

Novak Djokovic has won 24 tennis grand slams in his career (the most of all time) and is often regarded as the best tennis player ever. He's also earned approximately $170 million in prize money just from his tennis events. He has an estimated net worth of a quarter-billion dollars. Yet, he broke down the moment he won a gold medal for his country.

At just 28 years old, Scottie Scheffler has been the #1 ranked golfer in the world for approximately 100 weeks, and has earned approximately $90 million in his short career (not including the tens of millions earned from endorsements). He's achieved monumental success in his professional career, yet he sobbed when he earned an Olympic medal.

We can easily point our fingers at famous athletes and snidely say they are "just in it for the money." However, as I commonly say, the science says otherwise. Money can do a lot of things, but it cannot buy meaning or fulfillment. The Olympics are a perfect reminder that meaning ALWAYS trumps money. It's true for Scheffler, it's true for Djokovic, and it's true for you and me.

Meaning over money. Always meaning over money.

The Confirmation of Mockery

One of my clients was disheartened when he walked into a recent coaching session. I could tell from the outset that something was amiss. When I asked him about it, he shared how his parents and friends were staunchly against his upcoming career shift. For context, this man spent the first five years of his career working in a field that's ripe with status, as well as a nice, juicy income trajectory. In short, his golden ticket had been punched, and it was only a matter of time before his income significantly rose. However, his heart wasn't in it. He was in the job for the wrong reasons; all the while, he had developed a keen understanding of his calling.

After much consideration and consternation, he decided to pull the trigger on a drastic career shift. This would require him to abandon the status and future income that was surely in store for him and trade it for something far less glamorous and anything but certain financially. Now, his parents and friends are heavily criticizing his decision, even going as far as mockery.

Not only did this hurt, but it also caused him to start second-guessing his decision. After spending enough time with him, there isn't a clearer example of someone who should be making this career shift than him. In everyone's defense, though, I get why it would be difficult to comprehend from an outside perspective. What he's doing is counter-cultural. He's also choosing meaning over money, which is a surefire way to draw heat from a culture obsessed with materialism and "security."

I told him that the mockery confirmed that he was right where he needed to be. He should wear it as a badge of honor. I know what it's like to be criticized—even mocked—for making counter-cultural decisions. I also repeatedly see it in my coaching. As I reflect on my recent coaching conversations, here's a handful of items people have been criticized or mocked for (oftentimes by the people closest to them):

• Downsizing a home so one spouse can stay at home.

• Having the audacity to grind through $100,000 of student loans and credit card debt.

• Choosing to give away 30% of their income.

• Selling a new-ish car and becoming a one-car family so they could create more financial margin.

• Sending their kids to private school, knowing they will need to make many sacrifices to make it happen.

• Saying "no" to a group vacation because they couldn't make it work in their budget.

• Getting rid of their credit cards because they realized how much better their financial life would become without them.

Want to know my favorite criticism I received when I left my prior career? "Your kids deserve better." Ouch. That one hurt, especially coming from someone I deeply care about. While that was a painful comment, it was confirmation that I was doing the right thing. My kids do deserve better, but "better" doesn't mean more. More isn't better. Better is better. I'm actually glad this happened....it was exactly the confirmation I needed.

Let the mockery be your confirmation.

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A Different Kind of Currency

I recently received a message from a reader: "You put in so much work on the blog and podcast, but we get it all for free. Is there any way we can financially support you?"

No. No, there isn’t. No, you can’t. Your money is no good here (as they say in the movies)! I don't create 365 blog posts and 104 podcast episodes per year for money. After all, this is called Meaning Over Money.

However, I do deal in a different kind of currency. Instead of dollars and cents, I get paid in impact and change. Helping other people live a more meaningful life is the beautiful compensation I receive from this work.

Which brings me to you. The best way for me to create impact and cause change is for more eyes to read and more ears to listen. If anything I write or say moves the needle for you, and you think it could perhaps move the needle for someone else in your life, would you mind sharing? As you might have noticed, I've been experimenting with a footer on every day's post that includes a link to subscribe to the blog. The daily e-mail also includes a link to the podcast. Therefore, any time you forward an e-mail, send a blog link, or share the podcast, you're paying me with the most valuable currency I could ever ask for: The opportunity to serve someone.

I would be honored to speak into the life of someone you care about. On the flip side, please share with me if there are other people, resources, blogs, podcasts, or content that adds value to your life (and you think I might benefit, too). We all get better when we share good ideas. I'm honored when my ideas get shared, but I'm also blessed when ideas get shared with me. Let's multiply this culture of sharing. We never know what will happen when the right content hits the right person on the right day. Impact!

Blessed to be on this journey with you!

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But Not As a Lifestyle

Our family has had a great week at the lake. Lots of fun times and memories made. There are components of my day that are so appealing. Playing in the pool with the boys. Sitting at the dock and enjoying the calmness. Sleeping in (if the boys allow). Spending time on a boat. Cooking meals for my family (I love when I get to cook). So good!

I love everything about my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. What makes lake life (or insert any type of vacation here) awesome is the fact it's a treat. It's a pause from life. It's a reprieve from an otherwise crazy life. It's the reward for all the good work. It's an opportunity to rest up before jumping back into battle. The fact it's scarce is what makes it all that much sweeter.

I love my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. This is one of the biggest myths of the early retirement movement. There's a broad belief that stopping work and dedicating one's life to simply living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. I couldn't disagree more, and the science couldn't, either. People who live a leisurely life report lower levels of satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side, people who work and believe they are productive and adding value to others have much higher levels of overall life satisfaction.

I have a friend who just retired at 46. He and his wife believe they found a secret hack to life and will now live a far superior life than all of us working suckers. Their plan is to aimlessly bounce around from beach to beach, resort to resort. Never worry, though. They will "be sure to keep busy," as if busy is the definition of fulfillment. They are a few weeks into this adventure and report feeling "happier than ever." This makes sense, since vacations add a lot of value to our lives. However, what will happen to them in two, four, or six weeks when the vacation doesn't end? What will happen when there's nothing meaningful or fulfilling to return to? If we're looking at the science, the future doesn't look so bright. Time will tell, and I'll be sure to keep you updated.

I miss work. I miss serving those I have the privilege of serving. I can't wait to get back soon. At the same time, I would love to spend time at the lake monthly. Swoop in, recharge the batteries, make a few memories, then get back to work. Work, rest, work, rest. Oh yeah, some sun, too!

I hope you find time to get away. Go have fun. Make some memories. Get some much-needed rest. But you probably don't want to make it a lifestyle. You have far too much value to add to this world (and to yourself).

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Why Must You Taunt Me, Apple?

As I attempted to write today's post, my phone oddly and repeatedly reminded me of past photos. Hey look, Travis, it's a cute picture of Pax eating ice cream when he was 3! Travis, check out this handsome little 2-year-old Finny riding a boat. It was almost as if Apple and Father Time were teaming up to taunt me.

Early in my parenting journey, someone said something that I didn't quite understand: "The days are long, but the years are short." It made zero sense to me. Fast-forward eight years, and no truer phrase has ever been spoken.

As we're on our annual family vacation in Okoboji, these days with the boys can seem painfully long (especially when they antagonize each other). We're having a blast, but it can just get long at times. On the flip side, how is it already our fifth year on this trip?!?!

They were babies last week. They were toddlers yesterday. Now, we're heading into second grade. As I'm sitting here lamenting how fast time is flying by, I'm simultaneously grateful for creating a life that allows us plenty of family time. My work is crazy, the hours can be long, and it often involves me zig-zagging across the country, but we've intentionally curated this life. Strong-ish boundaries, clear expectations, a partially well-thought-out plan, and a firm understanding of our why.

We've made so many sacrifices in the name of prioritizing our family. We've downsized our house, threw away status, detonated any chance of an early retirement (which makes my heart happy), trashed a boujee lifestyle, and literally turned our backs on millions of dollars.

There are months when I wonder what in the heck we did to ourselves. The months when there's barely enough income to account for our needs and giving. The months that feel extra stressful. The months when I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't taken a weird detour five years ago.

But then, like today, Apple decides I need to get some cute and harsh reminders of how fast time flies by spamming me with old photos. Oh yeah (!!), that's why we do what we do.

The days are long, but the years are short. In due time, I'll be an old man reflecting on my life. There will inevitably be many regrets circling my thoughts. However, I guarantee choosing meaning over money will NOT be one of them. Money, stuff, and status are fleeting. Legacy is forever.

The Eye Zooms Kill Me

Sarah and I have thoroughly enjoyed the first few days of the Olympics. Without question, my favorite moments are when the gold medalist is standing on the podium and their national anthem starts playing. Then, without fail, the broadcast zooms in on their eyes. Oh man, that kills me every time!

When we see those eyes, it's almost like we're watching their entire professional life flash before them. All the work. All the pain. All the failure. All the sacrifice. All the early mornings. You can almost see the moment when they realize it was all worth it. It all paid off. They've reached the top of the mountain, and this is the moment it's starting to sink in.

When I see those eyes, I also see something else: meaning. You can't do what those athletes do if you're simply chasing money. The pursuit of money is futile and empty. It can work for a while, but when the real challenges come, money isn't enough to sustain the journey.

Meaning couldn't be further from the opposite. With enough meaning, there's practically no challenge that could stop someone. Most of these Olympic athletes aren't wealthy. They aren't making a good living. They are financially surviving while they pursue a dream. Even on the other side of success, money isn't promised. The dream is the dream because it's the dream. That's the wild part about living with meaning. It doesn't intuitively make sense. No, meaning doesn't put food on the table. However, living with meaning nourishes our souls unlike anything on this planet.

That's what I see when they zoom into the eyes of those gold medal winners. It's a beautiful sight, each and every time. As you enjoy these Olympic games, pay special attention to that moment. When the camera inevitably zooms in on those eyes, look deeper.

No, most of us will never stand on an Olympic podium with a gold medal around our neck and our national anthem blaring on the speakers. However, that same relentless pursuit for meaning is on the table for each of us. Just like the Olympians, it's not an easy journey. However, if you see the look in their eyes, you might just see why it's worth it.

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I Remember Where I Was When

I went to bed one night when I was 25 years-old......and woke up in my 40s. Isn't it crazy how fast time flies? It felt like it sped by when I was in my twenties and thirties, but it seems to be accelerating. To all my friends ahead of me: Does it get even worse from here!?!?

Life feels like a blur. I remember seasons of life, monumental personal events, and an overarching feeling of what life was like at given points in time, but it's all becoming murky.

Then, there's the I-remember-where-I-was-when moments. You know, those vivid, seared in your brain events that you'll never forget. The kind of moment where you remember exactly where you were, who you were with, and maybe even what you were wearing. Here are some of mine:

• Columbine

• OJ chase

• OJ trial verdict

• 9/11

• The Gulf War

• The Second Gulf War

• Hurricane Katrina

• When COVID shut down the world

• When Y2K didn't end the world

• The 2003 space shuttle explosion

• The double-nickel comeback game (IYKYK)

• Assassination attempt on President Trump

Why do I bring all this up? In a life that passes far too fast and feels much too murky, we're carried by a small collection of vivid memories. As my list above indicates, many of those are negative memories. It's scientifically proven that bad things get seared in deeper than good things.

Therefore, it's imperative that we intentionally and aggressively fight this memory battle. One of the only ways we can do that is to curate our own I-remember-where-I-was-when moments. As a husband and a father, I make it my duty to overcome the monotony and repetitiveness of everyday life by creating moments my family will remember forever. These moments don't have to cost an arm and a leg. Instead, they only need to be intentional, personal, and savored.

Only time will tell if I've been successful in this endeavor. Many years from now, as their own lives are moving at a blurry pace, I hope the boys share stories about those special memories and moments from their childhood. I can tell you one thing, though. My efforts have yielded personal returns. I have so many profound memories with Sarah and he boys over the years. Memories that repeatedly remind me that meaning should always come before money. Always.

*What are some of your I-remember-where-I-was-when moments? I love asking people this question, and I'd love to hear your answers!

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Beauty From the Pain

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a friend who is going through a ton of pain. Personal pain, career pain, lots of pain. This stuff has rocked her world. Through this mess, she has made a few brutal decisions about her next steps. Decisions that have loved ones scratching their heads and/or criticizing her. To sum up my opinion, I believe her controversial decisions will be transformative for her journey. While it feels far too heavy at the moment, I deeply believe she will look back and view these challenging decisions as a hallmark turning point in her life. Beauty will soon rise from the pain.

As I was listening to her gut-wrenching tale, I couldn't help but think about my own painful journey. The pain and frustration in her voice took me back to 2008, at age 27, just as I was settling into my life and young career. I thought I had life figured out. I bought a house, met a girl, found a church, built a community, and loved my career. I had life all figured out.....or so I thought.

Then, one day, as I was walking into my office, I was swiftly pulled into a conference room by a stranger. There, I met all my co-workers seated around a table. Over the coming few minutes, I realized my entire life was about to crumble around me. It was the beginning of the Great Financial Crisis, and I was in the real estate investing business. Long story short, my company was getting shut down, and we would all eventually be fired.

Did I mention I had been engaged for just three days? I woke up that morning with all the optimism in the world and went to bed wondering what I would do with my life. I also faced the scary reality that I needed to make monthly payments on my $236,000 debt with the likelihood of not having a job soon. That was easily one of the hardest few days of my life. Even writing about it gives me terrifying flashbacks.

Ultimately, I was blessed with an opportunity (er, ultimatum) to move to Iowa and continue my career. I didn't want to move, but we didn't have much of a choice. Sarah and I humbly and gratefully accepted the offer, and we reluctantly moved a few months later (well, I moved, and we lived four hours apart for six months of our engagement).

So much pain. So so much pain. Yet, as I now look back at that season with the benefit of 16 years of perspective, that nightmare was actually one of the best gifts we ever received. So much beauty came from that pain. We wouldn't live the life we have today without that season of suffering. We're not mad.....we're grateful.

Someday, preferably sooner than later, I hope my friend sees how much beauty came from this season of her life. She deserves it!

Whatever pain you're experiencing, just know that a beautiful chapter will soon be written. Keep pressing on. You deserve it, too.

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Who and Why

Making guest appearances on podcasts is one of my favorite hobbies. There's something profoundly appealing about the opportunity to share some words, ideas, and encouragement with an audience I may otherwise never have access to. I recently had the privilege of spending time on the Masters in Travel Podcast (Episode 179 - on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts). This was a unique format, though. While we did record a traditional podcast episode, it was done in a group setting. There were a few dozen members of the Masters in Travel community on the Zoom call with us. This community and its broader podcast audience is comprised of travel agents from all over the country. It was a fun group and an enjoyable conversation! I highly recommend you check it out.

Toward the beginning of the episode, I talked about the importance of the who and the why. Who are we called to serve, and why are we called to serve them? A big piece of that equation, especially on the front end, is understanding what we're really selling. I got pretty jazzed up with this audience. Not because I have a particular affinity for travel agents, but because of what they are really selling. In a world where virtually everything we buy will be in a landfill in a handful of years, they sell something that will last forever: memories! Travel agents are in the memories business. That's a tremendously profound idea. When we think of it that way, what a rich, fulfilling, and legacy-driven occupation!

Once we understand what we're really selling, it clarifies the who and the why. Some agents may specialize in helping young families create an unforgettable Disney experience for their children. Others might unlock otherwise intimidating experiences for curious adventurers. Still, others may help retirees create once-in-a-lifetime experiences they've dreamed about for decades.

In our respective occupations, the moment we truly understand the who and the why is the moment we discover the special combo of finding meaning in our work and creating impact on the world.

I'll use my business as an example. Yes, I provide financial coaching services, but I'm not really selling financial advice. Rather, I'm helping people unlock a more fulfilling, impactful, and meaningful journey. It just happens to be through the lens of personal finance. I also have a keen sense of the who: 20-somethings and 30-somethings who realize there's a much more meaningful life to be lived than what our culture encourages.

Each of you has your own version of this. Truth is, it’s so easy to lose sight of these things while we’re battling in the trenches day to day. Sometimes, we just need to pause, take a step back, and remember our mission—the who and the why.

Who do you serve? Why do you serve them? What are you really selling? I encourage you to take a moment today to think about these questions.

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The Blink of An Eye, Indeed

When I published a piece titled The Blink of An Eye a few days ago, I had no idea that idea would ring true in such a profound way just a few days later. The piece centered around the concept that life can change in the blink of an eye. I used examples such as births, deaths, job losses, marriages, sicknesses, career shifts, and divorces. Pardon my mistake of not including the attempted assassination of a former president (and a current presidential candidate.)

If a little piece of metal had traveled a half-inch further to the right, human history would have forever been altered. In some ways, it still might be altered with the new reality we're living in. The coming implications of what just transpired are still very much uncertain, but palpable. Indeed, some lives have been profoundly altered because of the events unfolding in Pennsylvania. Lives were lost, and thousands witnessed something truly horrifying.

It's a stark reminder that life is delicate. We're here until we're not. Every morning we wake up is a gift, and every night we go to sleep in our beds is a blessing. Life is too short and too uncertain to not live it with meaning. So many of us are living for the future. We stay at a job we hate so that one day we can "finally enjoy life." We hoard all of these assets so that one day we'll be able to use them. We don't call that friend today because, well, we'll just call them next week. We spend so much time being busy that we don't savor the beauty all around us.

Life is short. Life is delicate. There are no guarantees. Tomorrow is not promised. At the same time, there's so much meaning to be squeezed out of it. Don't waste your opportunity. After all, it could change in the blink of an eye.

The Scales of Meaning

As I was writing yesterday’s post, I had a series of flashbacks. Flashbacks of tense conversations I’ve had with clients about significant life decisions. It reminds me of this:

Money is finite. Each month, there’s only so much of it to go around. For every dollar we spend on one thing, it’s one less dollar we can spend on another. While it’s true there are dozens of categories and thousands of transactions at play, sometimes it boils down to a few major decisions. That’s where the scale comes in. For the sake of this post, I’ll refer to them as the “Scales of Meaning.”

In yesterday’s post, I shared the story of new parents who both desperately wanted mom to stay home with their baby. However, as a result of their family’s financial structure, the only way to make it happen was to give up some combination of their big house, two luxury cars, and fancy trips. 

When we place these options on the scales of meaning (cars/house/vacation one side, and staying home on the other), it shines a light into our soul. This couple repeatedly said that mom staying home is the most important thing. It’s one thing to say it, but another to place them on the scales of meaning. Once they are on the scale, we have a choice to make. Option A or Option B. Their decision will be the real answer. No more lip service. Words are cheap. What’s really most important? Turns out, this family’s lifestyle was actually more important than staying at home. She miserably and painfully stayed at work so they could continue to enjoy their fancy lifestyle. 

The scales of meaning are a humbling tool. It forces us to put our money where our mouth is. Here are a few recent examples I’ve encountered:

• Keep the car or unlock more family trips with the kids: They sold the car and started buying plane tickets.

• Stay in the massive house or make a major career shift to pursue work that matters: They downsized their house, and he started working at a non-profit where he now inflicts much impact.

• Continue to live a high-end lifestyle or send their kids to a Christian school (which isn’t cheap): They now live much more humbly and their kids go to a school they believe in.

• Dad keeps his high-paying, long-hour job or he shifts so he can be more present in his children’s lives: They ultimately decided it’s okay to miss everything if he can “provide a better life.” Ouch!

The scales of meaning don’t discriminate. Rather, they expose us. They wipe away any façade we may portray to the world (or ourselves) and shine the light on what we truly value. It reveals what we truly value.

I encourage you to try it sometime. It’s a beautiful way to visualize our lives and the decisions set before us. It’s a humbling exercise, though. You’ve been warned! 

The Blink of An Eye

A little more than eight years ago, Sarah and I were a mid-30s couple who aspired to one day have children. Just a handful of days later, we were the parents of twin baby boys. We went from “we wish” to “oh crap” in about twelve seconds. We bought car seats, bottles, clothes, and diapers AFTER meeting them for the first time. We didn’t even have a room ready for them. Our lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. 

For as much as we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, reality often plays out differently. Birth, death, job loss, marriage, sickness, career shifts, divorce....all sudden forces that have the power to change our lives in the blink of an eye. There’s a problem, though. When we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, we act as though we have a firm grip on our lives. In the financial arena, it typically means that we create our personal cost structure that works for one reality: the present one. 

I often meet with couples who were feeling fairly confident in their finances for years, until _____ happened last month. As long as their family is healthy, employed, and not making any changes, they can keep the train on the tracks. However, when we structure our life so specifically, it doesn’t allow margin for life to happen.

It reminds me of a situation that still haunts me to this day. Many years ago, I was meeting with a couple. Two strong careers, no kids. They lived in a beautiful home, drove luxury cars, and took exotic trips. Between their hefty mortgage, two obscene car payments, and a glitzy lifestyle, their monthly expenses absorbed most of their income. I asked them about kids. I recommended they start making some shifts in lifestyle to create margin for changing circumstances. Namely, I suggested they consider what-if scenarios that may include one of them working part-time or staying home completely. Before I could finish, the wife snapped at me, “I’m not staying home. Zero chance!” They completely shut that conversation down. Over the next few meetings, I tried to bring it up again, pointing out that sometimes, but not all the time, having children shifts career aspirations and jumbles priorities. Again, they were adamant there’s zero chance of either staying home. Thus, they continued down the same path. 

Fast forward 18 months, and they gave birth to a beautiful baby. Then comes our next coaching session. Wanna guess what the topic of conversation was? The wife, now a mom, was desperate to stay home with her baby. Life changed in the blink of an eye, but they structured a life that works for just one reality. When I visually showed them there was no way she could stay home (or even work part-time) without completely gutting their lifestyle (house, cars, travel, etc.), there were a lot of tears. So sad!

Life can change in the blink of an eye. Knowing that, it’s imperative that we structure our life in a way that allows us to shift with it.

Thanks, Brook!….and AI

Last night, on my way home from a wedding, I received a text from my friend, Brook. He wanted to hang out. I told him I'd love to hang out, but I needed to get some writing done for the next day's blog when I got home. I jokingly added, "Well, unless you write it for me."

Two minutes later, he sent me a complete blog post. He simply opened his preferred AI tool and entered the prompt, "Can you write me a short blog post about taking advantage of time in the summer to find meaning; from different perspectives?" 30 seconds later, it provided him with a complete article built around his request. That's scary, isn't it? That's exciting, isn't it? That's weird, isn't it?

Two things are clear:

1) AI is rapidly changing our world.

2) AI is here to stay.

It's easy to wish it away or demonize it, but it's not going anywhere. We can choose to use it for good, or use it for evil. We are the ones holding the gun. In the coming weeks, I'll be sharing some thoughts on the AI revolution and how it relates to meaning and money. I'll start with a harsh critique it recently gave my podcast. I'm sure you'll love that!

Anyway, here’s Brook’s 30-second AI article (copied and pasted with zero edits). It’s pretty insightful….and scary. I think you'll enjoy:

FINDING MEANING IN THE SUMMER

Summer is a season of warmth, relaxation, and endless possibilities. It's a time when the days are longer, the nights are shorter, and the world seems to slow down just enough for us to catch our breath. But beyond the sun-soaked beaches and barbecues, summer offers a unique opportunity to find deeper meaning in our lives. Here are a few perspectives to inspire you:

The Adventurer's Perspective - For the adventurer, summer is a time to explore new horizons. Whether it's hiking through lush forests, camping under the stars, or embarking on a road trip to uncharted destinations, the spirit of adventure can lead to profound self-discovery. Embrace the unknown, challenge your limits, and let the journey itself become a source of meaning.

The Reflective Perspective - Summer's slower pace provides the perfect backdrop for reflection. Take time to sit by a tranquil lake, journal your thoughts, or meditate in a serene garden. Reflect on your past experiences, set intentions for the future, and find meaning in the quiet moments of introspection. This is a chance to reconnect with your inner self and gain clarity on your life's purpose.

The Social Perspective - Summer is also a season for connection. Reconnect with family and friends, host gatherings, and create lasting memories with loved ones. Meaning can be found in the laughter shared around a bonfire, the stories told during a picnic, and the bonds strengthened through shared experiences. Cherish these moments of togetherness and let them remind you of the importance of relationships.

The Creative Perspective - For the creatively inclined, summer is a canvas waiting to be filled. Whether you're painting, writing, photographing, or crafting, let the vibrant energy of the season fuel your creativity. Express yourself in new and exciting ways, and find meaning in the act of creation. Sometimes, the process of bringing something new into the world can be deeply fulfilling.

The Restorative Perspective - Finally, summer is a time for rest and rejuvenation. Allow yourself to slow down, take a break from the hustle and bustle, and focus on self-care. Whether it's lounging by the pool, reading a good book, or simply enjoying the sunshine, find meaning in the moments of relaxation. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for finding balance and happiness.

No matter which perspective resonates with you, summer is a season ripe with opportunities to find meaning. Embrace the warmth, the light, and the possibilities, and let this summer be a time of growth, connection, and self-discovery.

Ready to Jump Back In

I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July yesterday. We had a blast. We spent the day in my hometown, which is known for its epic July 4th celebration. The day was jam-packed with fun events, tasty food, and, of course, fireworks. We're heading home later today, and I'll be attending the wedding of a former youth group kid tomorrow. To summarize, this is a pretty awesome weekend.

All that said, I'm ready to jump back into work. I have lots of good things in store next week, and I'm excited to get going. Truth is, I feel this most weeks. Even when I'm having the best weekend, I'm simultaneously looking forward to work. It's an odd and understandably counter-cultural reality.

Considering that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, it's obvious that most people don't have a similar perspective. The majority of people crave Fridays, dread Mondays, and find Sunday afternoon the most depressing time of the week. I'm fully aware of these dynamics and have spent time in this camp.

On the flip side, there's a growing number of people in my life who are pursuing a different sort of reality—the type of reality that allows them to enjoy their weekends and vacations but be equally excited to get back to work.

This is a hot take, but I believe this is a reality that everyone can have. I take a lot of flack for saying things like that, but I truly believe it. Work can have meaning. Work should have meaning. That doesn't mean work should replace our personal life in terms of fulfillment and meaning, but rather add to it. We don't have to choose one or another......we can (and should) have both.

Someday, when I'm gone (hopefully a long time from now), I hope one of the legacies I leave behind is this: the conviction, confidence, and commitment people have to pursue work that matters. This is one of my greatest purposes. There is no more fulfilling endeavor for me than to help people find the path of meaning—not meaning in their personal lives, but meaning... period. No matter what I accomplish, watching someone shift gears and fully pursue the life they were meant to live is the ultimate high.

If you're reading this and feel excited about what you'll be doing next week, congrats! That's a massive win, and I'm so encouraged by that. If you feel anything but excited about what's to come on the other side of this long holiday weekend, just know better is out there. I sincerely hope you gain the conviction, confidence, and commitment to find it. It's a difficult pursuit, but so, so worth it.