The Eye Zooms Kill Me

Sarah and I have thoroughly enjoyed the first few days of the Olympics. Without question, my favorite moments are when the gold medalist is standing on the podium and their national anthem starts playing. Then, without fail, the broadcast zooms in on their eyes. Oh man, that kills me every time!

When we see those eyes, it's almost like we're watching their entire professional life flash before them. All the work. All the pain. All the failure. All the sacrifice. All the early mornings. You can almost see the moment when they realize it was all worth it. It all paid off. They've reached the top of the mountain, and this is the moment it's starting to sink in.

When I see those eyes, I also see something else: meaning. You can't do what those athletes do if you're simply chasing money. The pursuit of money is futile and empty. It can work for a while, but when the real challenges come, money isn't enough to sustain the journey.

Meaning couldn't be further from the opposite. With enough meaning, there's practically no challenge that could stop someone. Most of these Olympic athletes aren't wealthy. They aren't making a good living. They are financially surviving while they pursue a dream. Even on the other side of success, money isn't promised. The dream is the dream because it's the dream. That's the wild part about living with meaning. It doesn't intuitively make sense. No, meaning doesn't put food on the table. However, living with meaning nourishes our souls unlike anything on this planet.

That's what I see when they zoom into the eyes of those gold medal winners. It's a beautiful sight, each and every time. As you enjoy these Olympic games, pay special attention to that moment. When the camera inevitably zooms in on those eyes, look deeper.

No, most of us will never stand on an Olympic podium with a gold medal around our neck and our national anthem blaring on the speakers. However, that same relentless pursuit for meaning is on the table for each of us. Just like the Olympians, it's not an easy journey. However, if you see the look in their eyes, you might just see why it's worth it.

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I Remember Where I Was When

I went to bed one night when I was 25 years-old......and woke up in my 40s. Isn't it crazy how fast time flies? It felt like it sped by when I was in my twenties and thirties, but it seems to be accelerating. To all my friends ahead of me: Does it get even worse from here!?!?

Life feels like a blur. I remember seasons of life, monumental personal events, and an overarching feeling of what life was like at given points in time, but it's all becoming murky.

Then, there's the I-remember-where-I-was-when moments. You know, those vivid, seared in your brain events that you'll never forget. The kind of moment where you remember exactly where you were, who you were with, and maybe even what you were wearing. Here are some of mine:

• Columbine

• OJ chase

• OJ trial verdict

• 9/11

• The Gulf War

• The Second Gulf War

• Hurricane Katrina

• When COVID shut down the world

• When Y2K didn't end the world

• The 2003 space shuttle explosion

• The double-nickel comeback game (IYKYK)

• Assassination attempt on President Trump

Why do I bring all this up? In a life that passes far too fast and feels much too murky, we're carried by a small collection of vivid memories. As my list above indicates, many of those are negative memories. It's scientifically proven that bad things get seared in deeper than good things.

Therefore, it's imperative that we intentionally and aggressively fight this memory battle. One of the only ways we can do that is to curate our own I-remember-where-I-was-when moments. As a husband and a father, I make it my duty to overcome the monotony and repetitiveness of everyday life by creating moments my family will remember forever. These moments don't have to cost an arm and a leg. Instead, they only need to be intentional, personal, and savored.

Only time will tell if I've been successful in this endeavor. Many years from now, as their own lives are moving at a blurry pace, I hope the boys share stories about those special memories and moments from their childhood. I can tell you one thing, though. My efforts have yielded personal returns. I have so many profound memories with Sarah and he boys over the years. Memories that repeatedly remind me that meaning should always come before money. Always.

*What are some of your I-remember-where-I-was-when moments? I love asking people this question, and I'd love to hear your answers!

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Beauty From the Pain

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a friend who is going through a ton of pain. Personal pain, career pain, lots of pain. This stuff has rocked her world. Through this mess, she has made a few brutal decisions about her next steps. Decisions that have loved ones scratching their heads and/or criticizing her. To sum up my opinion, I believe her controversial decisions will be transformative for her journey. While it feels far too heavy at the moment, I deeply believe she will look back and view these challenging decisions as a hallmark turning point in her life. Beauty will soon rise from the pain.

As I was listening to her gut-wrenching tale, I couldn't help but think about my own painful journey. The pain and frustration in her voice took me back to 2008, at age 27, just as I was settling into my life and young career. I thought I had life figured out. I bought a house, met a girl, found a church, built a community, and loved my career. I had life all figured out.....or so I thought.

Then, one day, as I was walking into my office, I was swiftly pulled into a conference room by a stranger. There, I met all my co-workers seated around a table. Over the coming few minutes, I realized my entire life was about to crumble around me. It was the beginning of the Great Financial Crisis, and I was in the real estate investing business. Long story short, my company was getting shut down, and we would all eventually be fired.

Did I mention I had been engaged for just three days? I woke up that morning with all the optimism in the world and went to bed wondering what I would do with my life. I also faced the scary reality that I needed to make monthly payments on my $236,000 debt with the likelihood of not having a job soon. That was easily one of the hardest few days of my life. Even writing about it gives me terrifying flashbacks.

Ultimately, I was blessed with an opportunity (er, ultimatum) to move to Iowa and continue my career. I didn't want to move, but we didn't have much of a choice. Sarah and I humbly and gratefully accepted the offer, and we reluctantly moved a few months later (well, I moved, and we lived four hours apart for six months of our engagement).

So much pain. So so much pain. Yet, as I now look back at that season with the benefit of 16 years of perspective, that nightmare was actually one of the best gifts we ever received. So much beauty came from that pain. We wouldn't live the life we have today without that season of suffering. We're not mad.....we're grateful.

Someday, preferably sooner than later, I hope my friend sees how much beauty came from this season of her life. She deserves it!

Whatever pain you're experiencing, just know that a beautiful chapter will soon be written. Keep pressing on. You deserve it, too.

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Who and Why

Making guest appearances on podcasts is one of my favorite hobbies. There's something profoundly appealing about the opportunity to share some words, ideas, and encouragement with an audience I may otherwise never have access to. I recently had the privilege of spending time on the Masters in Travel Podcast (Episode 179 - on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts). This was a unique format, though. While we did record a traditional podcast episode, it was done in a group setting. There were a few dozen members of the Masters in Travel community on the Zoom call with us. This community and its broader podcast audience is comprised of travel agents from all over the country. It was a fun group and an enjoyable conversation! I highly recommend you check it out.

Toward the beginning of the episode, I talked about the importance of the who and the why. Who are we called to serve, and why are we called to serve them? A big piece of that equation, especially on the front end, is understanding what we're really selling. I got pretty jazzed up with this audience. Not because I have a particular affinity for travel agents, but because of what they are really selling. In a world where virtually everything we buy will be in a landfill in a handful of years, they sell something that will last forever: memories! Travel agents are in the memories business. That's a tremendously profound idea. When we think of it that way, what a rich, fulfilling, and legacy-driven occupation!

Once we understand what we're really selling, it clarifies the who and the why. Some agents may specialize in helping young families create an unforgettable Disney experience for their children. Others might unlock otherwise intimidating experiences for curious adventurers. Still, others may help retirees create once-in-a-lifetime experiences they've dreamed about for decades.

In our respective occupations, the moment we truly understand the who and the why is the moment we discover the special combo of finding meaning in our work and creating impact on the world.

I'll use my business as an example. Yes, I provide financial coaching services, but I'm not really selling financial advice. Rather, I'm helping people unlock a more fulfilling, impactful, and meaningful journey. It just happens to be through the lens of personal finance. I also have a keen sense of the who: 20-somethings and 30-somethings who realize there's a much more meaningful life to be lived than what our culture encourages.

Each of you has your own version of this. Truth is, it’s so easy to lose sight of these things while we’re battling in the trenches day to day. Sometimes, we just need to pause, take a step back, and remember our mission—the who and the why.

Who do you serve? Why do you serve them? What are you really selling? I encourage you to take a moment today to think about these questions.

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The Blink of An Eye, Indeed

When I published a piece titled The Blink of An Eye a few days ago, I had no idea that idea would ring true in such a profound way just a few days later. The piece centered around the concept that life can change in the blink of an eye. I used examples such as births, deaths, job losses, marriages, sicknesses, career shifts, and divorces. Pardon my mistake of not including the attempted assassination of a former president (and a current presidential candidate.)

If a little piece of metal had traveled a half-inch further to the right, human history would have forever been altered. In some ways, it still might be altered with the new reality we're living in. The coming implications of what just transpired are still very much uncertain, but palpable. Indeed, some lives have been profoundly altered because of the events unfolding in Pennsylvania. Lives were lost, and thousands witnessed something truly horrifying.

It's a stark reminder that life is delicate. We're here until we're not. Every morning we wake up is a gift, and every night we go to sleep in our beds is a blessing. Life is too short and too uncertain to not live it with meaning. So many of us are living for the future. We stay at a job we hate so that one day we can "finally enjoy life." We hoard all of these assets so that one day we'll be able to use them. We don't call that friend today because, well, we'll just call them next week. We spend so much time being busy that we don't savor the beauty all around us.

Life is short. Life is delicate. There are no guarantees. Tomorrow is not promised. At the same time, there's so much meaning to be squeezed out of it. Don't waste your opportunity. After all, it could change in the blink of an eye.

The Scales of Meaning

As I was writing yesterday’s post, I had a series of flashbacks. Flashbacks of tense conversations I’ve had with clients about significant life decisions. It reminds me of this:

Money is finite. Each month, there’s only so much of it to go around. For every dollar we spend on one thing, it’s one less dollar we can spend on another. While it’s true there are dozens of categories and thousands of transactions at play, sometimes it boils down to a few major decisions. That’s where the scale comes in. For the sake of this post, I’ll refer to them as the “Scales of Meaning.”

In yesterday’s post, I shared the story of new parents who both desperately wanted mom to stay home with their baby. However, as a result of their family’s financial structure, the only way to make it happen was to give up some combination of their big house, two luxury cars, and fancy trips. 

When we place these options on the scales of meaning (cars/house/vacation one side, and staying home on the other), it shines a light into our soul. This couple repeatedly said that mom staying home is the most important thing. It’s one thing to say it, but another to place them on the scales of meaning. Once they are on the scale, we have a choice to make. Option A or Option B. Their decision will be the real answer. No more lip service. Words are cheap. What’s really most important? Turns out, this family’s lifestyle was actually more important than staying at home. She miserably and painfully stayed at work so they could continue to enjoy their fancy lifestyle. 

The scales of meaning are a humbling tool. It forces us to put our money where our mouth is. Here are a few recent examples I’ve encountered:

• Keep the car or unlock more family trips with the kids: They sold the car and started buying plane tickets.

• Stay in the massive house or make a major career shift to pursue work that matters: They downsized their house, and he started working at a non-profit where he now inflicts much impact.

• Continue to live a high-end lifestyle or send their kids to a Christian school (which isn’t cheap): They now live much more humbly and their kids go to a school they believe in.

• Dad keeps his high-paying, long-hour job or he shifts so he can be more present in his children’s lives: They ultimately decided it’s okay to miss everything if he can “provide a better life.” Ouch!

The scales of meaning don’t discriminate. Rather, they expose us. They wipe away any façade we may portray to the world (or ourselves) and shine the light on what we truly value. It reveals what we truly value.

I encourage you to try it sometime. It’s a beautiful way to visualize our lives and the decisions set before us. It’s a humbling exercise, though. You’ve been warned! 

The Blink of An Eye

A little more than eight years ago, Sarah and I were a mid-30s couple who aspired to one day have children. Just a handful of days later, we were the parents of twin baby boys. We went from “we wish” to “oh crap” in about twelve seconds. We bought car seats, bottles, clothes, and diapers AFTER meeting them for the first time. We didn’t even have a room ready for them. Our lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. 

For as much as we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, reality often plays out differently. Birth, death, job loss, marriage, sickness, career shifts, divorce....all sudden forces that have the power to change our lives in the blink of an eye. There’s a problem, though. When we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, we act as though we have a firm grip on our lives. In the financial arena, it typically means that we create our personal cost structure that works for one reality: the present one. 

I often meet with couples who were feeling fairly confident in their finances for years, until _____ happened last month. As long as their family is healthy, employed, and not making any changes, they can keep the train on the tracks. However, when we structure our life so specifically, it doesn’t allow margin for life to happen.

It reminds me of a situation that still haunts me to this day. Many years ago, I was meeting with a couple. Two strong careers, no kids. They lived in a beautiful home, drove luxury cars, and took exotic trips. Between their hefty mortgage, two obscene car payments, and a glitzy lifestyle, their monthly expenses absorbed most of their income. I asked them about kids. I recommended they start making some shifts in lifestyle to create margin for changing circumstances. Namely, I suggested they consider what-if scenarios that may include one of them working part-time or staying home completely. Before I could finish, the wife snapped at me, “I’m not staying home. Zero chance!” They completely shut that conversation down. Over the next few meetings, I tried to bring it up again, pointing out that sometimes, but not all the time, having children shifts career aspirations and jumbles priorities. Again, they were adamant there’s zero chance of either staying home. Thus, they continued down the same path. 

Fast forward 18 months, and they gave birth to a beautiful baby. Then comes our next coaching session. Wanna guess what the topic of conversation was? The wife, now a mom, was desperate to stay home with her baby. Life changed in the blink of an eye, but they structured a life that works for just one reality. When I visually showed them there was no way she could stay home (or even work part-time) without completely gutting their lifestyle (house, cars, travel, etc.), there were a lot of tears. So sad!

Life can change in the blink of an eye. Knowing that, it’s imperative that we structure our life in a way that allows us to shift with it.

Thanks, Brook!….and AI

Last night, on my way home from a wedding, I received a text from my friend, Brook. He wanted to hang out. I told him I'd love to hang out, but I needed to get some writing done for the next day's blog when I got home. I jokingly added, "Well, unless you write it for me."

Two minutes later, he sent me a complete blog post. He simply opened his preferred AI tool and entered the prompt, "Can you write me a short blog post about taking advantage of time in the summer to find meaning; from different perspectives?" 30 seconds later, it provided him with a complete article built around his request. That's scary, isn't it? That's exciting, isn't it? That's weird, isn't it?

Two things are clear:

1) AI is rapidly changing our world.

2) AI is here to stay.

It's easy to wish it away or demonize it, but it's not going anywhere. We can choose to use it for good, or use it for evil. We are the ones holding the gun. In the coming weeks, I'll be sharing some thoughts on the AI revolution and how it relates to meaning and money. I'll start with a harsh critique it recently gave my podcast. I'm sure you'll love that!

Anyway, here’s Brook’s 30-second AI article (copied and pasted with zero edits). It’s pretty insightful….and scary. I think you'll enjoy:

FINDING MEANING IN THE SUMMER

Summer is a season of warmth, relaxation, and endless possibilities. It's a time when the days are longer, the nights are shorter, and the world seems to slow down just enough for us to catch our breath. But beyond the sun-soaked beaches and barbecues, summer offers a unique opportunity to find deeper meaning in our lives. Here are a few perspectives to inspire you:

The Adventurer's Perspective - For the adventurer, summer is a time to explore new horizons. Whether it's hiking through lush forests, camping under the stars, or embarking on a road trip to uncharted destinations, the spirit of adventure can lead to profound self-discovery. Embrace the unknown, challenge your limits, and let the journey itself become a source of meaning.

The Reflective Perspective - Summer's slower pace provides the perfect backdrop for reflection. Take time to sit by a tranquil lake, journal your thoughts, or meditate in a serene garden. Reflect on your past experiences, set intentions for the future, and find meaning in the quiet moments of introspection. This is a chance to reconnect with your inner self and gain clarity on your life's purpose.

The Social Perspective - Summer is also a season for connection. Reconnect with family and friends, host gatherings, and create lasting memories with loved ones. Meaning can be found in the laughter shared around a bonfire, the stories told during a picnic, and the bonds strengthened through shared experiences. Cherish these moments of togetherness and let them remind you of the importance of relationships.

The Creative Perspective - For the creatively inclined, summer is a canvas waiting to be filled. Whether you're painting, writing, photographing, or crafting, let the vibrant energy of the season fuel your creativity. Express yourself in new and exciting ways, and find meaning in the act of creation. Sometimes, the process of bringing something new into the world can be deeply fulfilling.

The Restorative Perspective - Finally, summer is a time for rest and rejuvenation. Allow yourself to slow down, take a break from the hustle and bustle, and focus on self-care. Whether it's lounging by the pool, reading a good book, or simply enjoying the sunshine, find meaning in the moments of relaxation. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for finding balance and happiness.

No matter which perspective resonates with you, summer is a season ripe with opportunities to find meaning. Embrace the warmth, the light, and the possibilities, and let this summer be a time of growth, connection, and self-discovery.

Ready to Jump Back In

I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July yesterday. We had a blast. We spent the day in my hometown, which is known for its epic July 4th celebration. The day was jam-packed with fun events, tasty food, and, of course, fireworks. We're heading home later today, and I'll be attending the wedding of a former youth group kid tomorrow. To summarize, this is a pretty awesome weekend.

All that said, I'm ready to jump back into work. I have lots of good things in store next week, and I'm excited to get going. Truth is, I feel this most weeks. Even when I'm having the best weekend, I'm simultaneously looking forward to work. It's an odd and understandably counter-cultural reality.

Considering that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, it's obvious that most people don't have a similar perspective. The majority of people crave Fridays, dread Mondays, and find Sunday afternoon the most depressing time of the week. I'm fully aware of these dynamics and have spent time in this camp.

On the flip side, there's a growing number of people in my life who are pursuing a different sort of reality—the type of reality that allows them to enjoy their weekends and vacations but be equally excited to get back to work.

This is a hot take, but I believe this is a reality that everyone can have. I take a lot of flack for saying things like that, but I truly believe it. Work can have meaning. Work should have meaning. That doesn't mean work should replace our personal life in terms of fulfillment and meaning, but rather add to it. We don't have to choose one or another......we can (and should) have both.

Someday, when I'm gone (hopefully a long time from now), I hope one of the legacies I leave behind is this: the conviction, confidence, and commitment people have to pursue work that matters. This is one of my greatest purposes. There is no more fulfilling endeavor for me than to help people find the path of meaning—not meaning in their personal lives, but meaning... period. No matter what I accomplish, watching someone shift gears and fully pursue the life they were meant to live is the ultimate high.

If you're reading this and feel excited about what you'll be doing next week, congrats! That's a massive win, and I'm so encouraged by that. If you feel anything but excited about what's to come on the other side of this long holiday weekend, just know better is out there. I sincerely hope you gain the conviction, confidence, and commitment to find it. It's a difficult pursuit, but so, so worth it.

Embracing Freedom

We have a lot of issues here in the United States. We're far from perfect. There's tension, strife, political unrest, and economic tensions. It's safe to say we have our fair share of problems. However, despite all that, this is a pretty special place. I've spent time in 25 different countries over the past 18 years, dating back to an England/Ireland trip with my friend Eric in 2006. I've been to most of Europe, the majority of the Middle East, Central America, and several SE Asian countries.

Every country I've visited has provided me with a unique perspective. There are so many beautiful places, filled with amazing people, wrapped in fascinating cultures around the world. Simultaneously, every time I travel abroad, I'm reminded of the uniqueness and beauty of our own country. Most notably, our freedom. It's easy to take it for granted, but wow, it's something worth embracing. So yeah, we have problems, but we shouldn't forget that we also have something special here. Today, we celebrate the freedom that we share together.

Within each of our own lives, we also have a different kind of freedom available to us. It's the kind of freedom that stems from healthy financial stewardship, avoidance of debt, and the refusal to pursue a materialistic life. Our society's culture of stuff, money, and status has the power to entrap us. But it's a choice. We each have the power to choose our own path.

Some of you have chosen the path of freedom. You have made sacrifices, humbled yourselves, practiced discipline, and established values different from what our culture pushes down our throats. Congrats to you! It's a difficult path, but if you've tasted it, you know just how amazing it can be.

If you haven't chosen freedom (yet), perhaps now is the time. It's never too late to change course. Even if you've driven down the worldly road for decades, you still have a choice. The fork in the road is still in front of you.

Happy 4th, everyone! I hope you celebrate our freedom today, while also embracing a different kind of freedom.

Stumbling Into Memories

I had a weird and fun experience last night. I made a quick 24-hour trip to Omaha for a few meetings. On a quick fuel stop en route to my destination, I booked a hotel room so I would have a place to land when I got there. It's a hotel we've stayed at before. I knew what I was getting, which was good enough for me. As I pulled my car up to the main door to check in, I noticed a surprising number of people walking around wearing college gear. That's when it dawned on me, "Oh yeah, I think the College World Series is going on right now." Then it dawned on me that the CWS is immediately across the street from my hotel….Awesome! Then, after a quick Google search, I realized last night was THE final game of the tournament. Championship round, best of three games, Tennessee and Texas A&M tied 1-1. Holy cow! The final game of the CWS was taking place in mere hours, mere feet from where I was sleeping. 

A view of the stadium from the front door of my hotel

Yes, I was tired. Yes, I was hoping to take it easy. Yes, I had work to do. Yes, the heat index was 112 degrees. Yes, I had an early wake-up time the next morning. But when we stumble into memories, we must seize them! I jumped into the SeatGeek app and found the cheapest ticket available ($53). Two hours later, I was watching the final game of the CWS (in which the Tennessee Vols won their first-ever national championship). Unreal!

As I always say (which is a tribute to my friend Gary Hoag), the two best investments in life are mission and memories. Sometimes, we need to intentionally create memories; other times, we stumble into them. However, we must do one thing when we stumble into them: say "yes." There were a million reasons I wanted to decline. This wasn't part of my plan. I wasn't prepared. Did I mention the heat index was 112 degrees?!?!? But that's how some of the best memories go down. My "yes" or "no" decision was the gateway to determining my fate. I ultimately said "yes," and I'm so glad I did. I experienced something I never thought I would. I wish my friends or family were with me, but it was an amazing experience. 

It was a perfect combination of a little luck, a wise "yes*," and a $53 financial investment. One of the biggest bargains of my life. 

I hope you're intentional about creating memories along your journey, but I also hope you say "yes" when you stumble into them as well. Oftentimes, those are the most special ones. Don’t miss those blessed opportunities to add richness to your life.

*I originally said "no" about 4 times, then almost said "no" AFTER buying my ticket, then almost said "no" mid-game (3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th innings) due to the extreme heat and sun. But I didn't! I honored my "yes" and I was rewarded handsomely for it.

But at What Cost?

Despite repeatedly writing and talking about materialism and the risks of pursuing more, I'm also human. I got bit by the jealousy bug last night! The boys were invited to swim at a friend's house, which was quite thoughtful of the host family. When I arrived to drop them off, I was met with the backyard pool of all backyard pools. Wow, this thing was stunning: waterslide, basketball hoop, tons of seating, an outdoor living room (with a massive TV), a built-in kitchen.....the whole works! Just the pool area alone probably cost more than my house is worth. My immediate reaction was jealousy.

Then, as I always do, I took a step back and looked myself in the proverbial mirror. We all have choices. Do I really want that pool? Do I really want that house? Is that what I really want? If so, why am I not pursuing it? If having xyz is so important, I should react and act accordingly.

Then, I ask myself one more question: "But at what cost?" For every decision or pursuit, there's a cost. There's no free lunch. For every dollar we spend on one thing, there's one less dollar to spend somewhere else. For every hour invested in something, there's one less hour to invest elsewhere.

So, I suppose I could endeavor to have a house with a pool like theirs. That's on the table. But at what cost? Here are a few costs off the top of my head:

• I'd probably need to use most (or all) of the liquid savings we built for other purposes.

• I'd probably be forced to abandon my current career path in exchange for a higher-paying job that would support the necessary house payment.

• Our generosity would probably fall off a cliff.

• We would probably lose the flexibility and freedom our current life structure provides.

• We'd probably lose the ability to freely travel like we do now.

When I look in the mirror and ask myself the "but at what cost?" question, that pool suddenly doesn't feel as appealing as it did in the moment.

It's not a matter of IF we will get bit by the jealousy bug, but WHEN. It's going to happen. As such, we must be ready to face it head-on. That's where the "but at what cost?" question can be so handy.

I don't have any negative feelings towards people who do things that make me jealous. After all, they are simultaneously making decisions that have their own costs. That's what makes all of this so personal. We each have choices to make.

It's not about making THE right choice. Instead, we should each pursue the right choice for us. The right choice for you and the right choice for me.

I know I'll get jealous again, but when I do, it will be another opportunity for me to look in the mirror and ask myself if I'm truly pursuing the life I'm meant to live. That's a gift!

It’s Just 22 Words

“We are born with nothing, and we die with nothing, yet we spend our lives trying to accumulate as much as possible.”

This quote has lived rent-free in my head for years. Although it's just 22 words, it has the weight of a full-fledged book or a TED talk. It drips with irony and is saturated with consequence.

I typed out several now-deleted paragraphs below, sharing my perspective on the matter. However, I don't think my perspective is relevant today. Instead, maybe a better use of your two minutes is to ponder your perspective and, more importantly, its implications on your journey.

Have a great Saturday!

When Our Possessions Possess Us

A weird thing happened to me yesterday. As I was going about my perfectly normal work day, I received a text from Sarah with this photo:

Ouch! Due to high winds, a large branch snapped off our front yard tree, and it found a new home squarely on my car's hood. Ouch again. That's actually not the weird part, though.

After receiving Sarah's text, I immediately drove home to remove the branch and assess the damage. There's a nice dent exactly where you'd expect from looking at the picture, plus some other scratches. Here's the weird part: I had zero emotional reaction. Zilch. It didn't move the needle for me whatsoever. It was an interesting development.

In the hours that followed, I pondered this weird response. Here's where I landed: I possess my possessions, not the other way around. It's just a car—just a thing. A handful of years from now, it will be in a landfill, a distant memory.

This perspective is a deviation from where I used to be. In years past, this situation would have angered and frustrated me. Why? Because my possessions possessed me. I was there to serve them, covet them, treasure them, and put them on a pedestal. That's how materialism works. That's the natural end game when we pursue a life of more.

I'm not pleased with a fresh dent in my car. I'd prefer it didn't happen. But this dent will not deter me, frustrate me, or derail me. Similar to how I handled my last car damage debacle, I suppose I'll just keep my eye on the prize and not allow it to alter my mission. It's a weird but welcomed reality in my little world.

It's an odd place to be, considering where I came from. I don't know whether I should be proud of myself for this development.....or concerned. However, since it's a 180-degree turn from our prevailing culture, I'll assume it's a good thing. I now possess my possessions; my possessions don't possess me. I care for them, treat them with respect, and honor the fact I traded hard-earned income for them, but they will not define me or drive me. That's a win worth celebrating.

What about you? Do you possess your possessions, or do they possess you?

Today’s a Great Day For a Check Mark

One of my seven-year-olds, Finn, recently handed me a piece of paper. It was a list of items with little squares to the left of them. "What's this, bud?" "This is my bucket list." Uhhhhhh, my seven-year-old has a bucket list? Curious, I asked him if he knew what a bucket list even was. "It's all the things I want to do before I die!" Alrighty then, I guess he did know.....that's a bit morbid The subsequent two sentences out of his mouth were what got me:

"Can we check a few of these off the list this weekend? We better get started."

I didn't know whether to be concerned or impressed; I decided to be impressed. Here he was, with his entire life in front of him, ready to live life now. Not someday. Not down the road. Not when he grows up. Today!

Wow, there's something profound about this idea. We adults continually kick the can down the road. "When I retire." "When the kids are gone." "When I have $x dollars." "When I get promoted to abc title." "After I accomplish xyz." "When I'm not as busy." "When ________." We always have an excuse not to do things. There are a million reasons why today isn't the day. Someday. One day. Eventually. Down the road. Confession: I could jot down a list of 20 items that I've wanted to do for decades, but just never got around to it.

You know what I think? I think today is a great day for a check mark. Why not get out there and knock something off your list? Why not treat today like a special day that should be embraced and milked for whatever it could be? Why not intentionally pursue meaning and do things that add value to our lives? Why not cut through the noise and the busy of life, and carve out time to make a memory?

"Wise" isn't a word I'd typically use to describe Finn (he's a nut), but I think he's on to something.

We better get started.

The Arms Race of Materialism

We have an arms race on our hands. It's a sexy, intoxicating endeavor: the violently aggressive pursuit of more. Bigger houses, newer cars, grander trips, trendier clothes. More, more, more. The problem with more is that every time we get more, more is still more. Ironically, it's an unwinnable race.

I recently met with a young couple who wanted some guidance. I'll lay out the scenario. Both spouses have good jobs at well-respected companies. They live in a big house (their "forever home"), drive new vehicles, and go on extravagant trips (of which the photos get repeatedly posted on their various social media channels). They are the couple everyone else looks at with jealousy and/or inspiration. People wonder how they are so rich, and aspire to be as "successful" as them.

However, as I can attest from my coaching experience, it's not always as it seems. Often, when we pull back the curtain, a different story reveals itself. This couple has a monthly after-tax take-home income of about $10,000. Their house payment is around $3,000/month, and they have two car payments totaling $1,700/month. Yes, their house and cars alone absorb approximately 47% of their take-home income. That feels tight to me, and it feels tight to them. They are stressed, but "It's worth it. We worked hard. We deserve it." No regrets, though.

Now, the twist. The reason for our meeting was to discuss their next steps. What next steps, you ask? They want to buy a different house—their new "forever home." That's the thing about the pursuit of more. Every time we get more, more is still more. What's a "forever home" today is just another house six months from now. Anyway, after doing the math, we concluded that this new house will cost them about $4,200/month.

Are you scratching your head yet? They are stressed with their current $3,000/month house payment, but want to increase it to $4,200? Yes, correct. This begs the question, "Why?" It took a few minutes to get there, but I finally got the real answer. Their best friends are building a new house (i.e. better than theirs), making them want to upgrade, too. It's the arms race!

I tried to explain that more isn't the answer. Meaning over money. Living with purpose. Career flexibility. Not allowing financial stress to drive a wedge into their marriage behind closed doors. Nevertheless, they left that meeting with a burning desire to build their new "forever home."

It's easy to dismiss this couple as "crazy" or an anomaly, but they represent a growing contingent in this country. I meet with multiple families per week who are deeply invested in the arms race of materialism. People are enveloped in it.

While I generally do a good job leaving my work at work, some of these families keep me up at night. I'm terrified of what's coming. A reckoning will happen. Perhaps soon. Perhaps decades from now. But it's coming. I repeatedly see how this story ends, and it's a nightmare.

Are you caught caught up in the arms race? If so, maybe today is the day to finally lay down your weapons.

Note: This couple granted me permission to share their story anonymously. I'm not sure why, but I'm grateful they did.

I Wasn't Going to Step Over That Cob

Though it's been nearly a month, I'm still thinking about the "Don't step over cobs looking for cobs" quote from my friend Bobbi. That idea hit me hard, and it's been brewing under the surface of my life ever since. And last night, it came out in a very meaningful way.

I had a brutal day at work. It was a great day, and I was honored to serve many people, but I was toasted. I was tired, stressed, and frustrated by a few challenges I encountered along the way. When I got home, I knew I still had a bunch of work in front of me before I went to bed. Overwhelmed is the only word to describe it.

That's when the test hit me. While eating dinner, Pax asked if we could get ice cream, cruise around in the convertible, and jam out to Twenty One Pilots together. Though I had very little left in the tank, I wasn't about to step over that corn cob! We did just that. We grabbed ice cream, ate it while cruising with the convertible top down, and cranked up the new Clancy album to an annoyingly loud volume. It was, is, and will forever be a beautiful memory. Afterward, Finn, Pax, and I spent the next hour geocaching near our house (we found three treasures!).

Showing off their first find, discovered inside a tree.

It's so easy to look past life's "normal" repetitiveness. It's easy to take for granted the ordinary while dreaming about the extraordinary. It's all too common to eagerly anticipate the exotic while wading through the mundane. I could have missed last night's opportunity! In my attempt to see the day through and prepare for the next, I could have stepped over that cob while looking for more cobs. This time, luckily, I didn't.

As I look back at my life, I shudder to think about how many cobs I stepped over while looking for cobs. I was overtaken by life. In my pursuit of success, progress, achievement, money, and whatever else I was chasing earlier in my adult life, I probably missed out on so many opportunities that would have added meaning and richness to my life. If that's not accidental self-sabotage, I don't know what is.

I'm really enjoying the cobs these days, and I hope you are, too!

Randy Off the Top Rope!

I received a message from my friend Randy after a recent blog post about a couple in England who recently made drastic career shifts. Here's what he said:

"If you don't have your priorities straight, a job or career change is not going to help.  You will just be unhappy in a different place, and it could be with less income and more financial strain."

Sharp. Sharp, but true. I want to sit on this thought for today. I often get criticized for advocating that people leave their jobs and pursue work that matters. I need to clarify this perspective. I'm not actually advocating for people to leave their jobs as much as I'm advocating for people to simply pursue a life of meaning. Considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, and we've collectively been lulled into lives of tolerance (or quiet suffering), my sentiment often seems to point in that direction.

The truth, however, is that my friend Randy is right. Change, for change's sake, provides no long-term meaning, satiation, contentment, or fulfillment. Without truly understanding our priorities or how we define a meaningful life, a career shift isn't the remedy we're looking for.

For many of us, and I think Randy's career testimony would be a perfect representation of this, we're already in meaningful jobs. However, if we're pursuing everyone else's definition of success, status, and winning, we might lose sight of what actually matters to us. I'll give you an example.

One of my clients was discontent with his job. He felt frustrated and bored. He looked around and saw his co-workers being promoted to "more important positions." While he was good at his work, he started feeling like it was beneath him. He was impatient and fidgety. He started waking up every day with a slight dread about his day. In other words, he joined the 70% club. As we started talking about it, however, he realized something. When he was able to set his jealousy of co-workers aside, stop worrying about status, and remember why he took this job in the first place, his perspective shifted. He realized the following:

• He was dang good at his job, and used his skills to benefit many people.

• He believes in the mission of the organization.

• His current role allows him to find a healthy balance between work, marriage, and parenting responsibilities. His lifestyle was exactly what he wanted.

• He made a solid income that allowed his family to pay for needs, give sacrificially, afford some fun things/experiences, and save for future wants/needs.

• He has many valuable relationships with co-workers and clients alike. He cherishes these relationships.

• His office is near his house, offering an amazing commute.

In other words, he was living in misery while working a job that's perfect for him. Because he didn't have his priorities straight, as Randy points out, no change was going to save him. However, after realizing what's truly important, he understands he's truly blessed.

Perspective matters! Clear priorities matter, too!

750 Sessions, Oh My

I had a wild realization yesterday when meeting with my assistant, Alyssa. We were updating our client tracking spreadsheet when something caught our eye. After accounting for May's meetings, I have conducted 750 coaching sessions since leaving my prior career in 2019. This doesn't include consultations, touchpoints, one-off meetings, or providing insights to non-clients—750 formal coaching sessions with clients. I initially thought that was an error, but nope (!), it's the real deal.

While every family's situation differs, some consistent and common themes repeatedly pop up. This was never more evident than one day when I had back-to-back coaching meetings. The first was with a first-year elementary teacher trying to carve her path into adulthood. The second was with an NFL player who recently signed an eight-figure contract while navigating multiple endorsement opportunities. I think you and I would agree these two individuals live in entirely different worlds. Here's the thing, though. I had nearly the exact same conversation with both of them. That's the wonder of the human experience and our psychological wiring. While life presents differently for each of us, we often experience similar situations, challenges, and obstacles. It's a beautiful and ironic reminder that money is NEVER about money.

So today, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you 10 insights from my first 750 coaching sessions:

1. Debt does not discriminate based on income. It's not the lack of income that leads us into debt, but rather our decisions. Debt is a trap that's crushing people from every age, race, income, education, profession, and geography.

2. A family's ability to make progress in any area of life is only limited by their belief in the outcome and their discipline to see it through. Countless people have achieved feats that make my accomplishments look like child's play. Never underestimate the power of someone crazy enough to believe it's possible.

3. Combining finances in marriage always yields better results. Better financial results. Better relational results. Better alignment of meaning and purpose. Better execution of the plan. I'll die on this hill. Yes, we can do ok with separate finances, but it's like driving a five-speed car and only believing there are three gears. That third gear feels fast if we don't know the fourth and fifth gears exist.

4. If you pursue money, you might find it. It will be cool and exciting. But if you pursue meaning, you will absolutely find it.....and you'll likely find some money along the way. People who pursue meaning live ridiculously amazing lives. Not easy lives; amazing lives.

5. A well-executed budget is the gateway to any and every goal you want to accomplish. Once you unlock that, anything is possible.

6. Work that matters matters. You wear it in your eyes, and it leaks into every aspect of your life, whether you want it to or not.

7. People are usually doing better than they think, but they have nothing to compare it to other than social media.

8. Nothing changes lives like joyful and sacrificial generosity. Nothing! And I'm not talking about the recipient....the giver!

9. You SHOULD spend money on wants, but only those that add value to YOUR life.

10. Simplify, simplify, simplify. The simpler you make your finances, the more time and energy you can invest in living a meaningful life.

Sorry for the long post today, but it just felt right. Have an amazing day!

Drumming is a “Waste of Resources”

Holy cow! I'm overwhelmed by the number of texts, calls, e-mails, and comments from yesterday's post about Pax's live drumming debut. I'm beyond grateful for all the kind words. I'll probably package them together and store them away until I'm ready to share them with him when he gets older.

Today, though, I want to share one particular comment I received from a close-ish friend. This friend is a fellow finance guy. He's brilliant and has carved a name for himself in the world of finance and investing. Here's what he told me, "That whole thing seems like a waste of resources." Oh really? Tell me more. He continued explaining that we're getting nothing in return for this expense. Pax won't grow up to be a musician, but in the rare chance he does, he'll be poor. This newfound drumming skill won't lead to a valuable college scholarship. It's a dead-end hobby....no upside. Meanwhile, all the money we are spending on it could be invested and used to "build generational wealth" that can actually help my kids. 

This, my friends, is THE reason Meaning Over Money exists. Our finance world (and the culture around it) is impersonal, greedy, materialistic, and selfish. This entire industry is about how to get more, have more, and keep more. It's about dollars and cents. It's cold and calculated. It's a bunch of numbers on a screen, and projections splayed out on a spreadsheet. I love spreadsheets as much as the next financial weirdo, but I'm staunchly against our prevailing culture around finance. 

Meaning Over Money is just that: meaning OVER money. In the case of Finn and Pax's musical endeavors (or any other endeavor, for that matter), it's not about getting a return on my investment. For me, it's about allowing my kids the opportunity to explore the world, unearth potential passions, learn who they are, build confidence, create relationships, pursue failure, and accomplish more than they knew they had in them. That's meaning. That's purpose. That's everything. 

Please, never allow your finances to become cold and calculated. Don't lose sight of the meaning. Don't forget what's most important. Don't let the money drive you or your decisions. Yes, we need to be responsible with our finances. Yes, we need to ensure our family is taken care of. But don't forget what you're fighting for. You're worth far more than money.