But at What Cost?
Despite repeatedly writing and talking about materialism and the risks of pursuing more, I'm also human. I got bit by the jealousy bug last night! The boys were invited to swim at a friend's house, which was quite thoughtful of the host family. When I arrived to drop them off, I was met with the backyard pool of all backyard pools. Wow, this thing was stunning: waterslide, basketball hoop, tons of seating, an outdoor living room (with a massive TV), a built-in kitchen.....the whole works! Just the pool area alone probably cost more than my house is worth. My immediate reaction was jealousy.
Then, as I always do, I took a step back and looked myself in the proverbial mirror. We all have choices. Do I really want that pool? Do I really want that house? Is that what I really want? If so, why am I not pursuing it? If having xyz is so important, I should react and act accordingly.
Then, I ask myself one more question: "But at what cost?" For every decision or pursuit, there's a cost. There's no free lunch. For every dollar we spend on one thing, there's one less dollar to spend somewhere else. For every hour invested in something, there's one less hour to invest elsewhere.
So, I suppose I could endeavor to have a house with a pool like theirs. That's on the table. But at what cost? Here are a few costs off the top of my head:
I'd probably need to use most (or all) of the liquid savings we built for other purposes.
I'd probably be forced to abandon my current career path in exchange for a higher-paying job that would support the necessary house payment.
Our generosity would probably fall off a cliff.
We would probably lose the flexibility and freedom our current life structure provides.
We'd probably lose the ability to freely travel like we do now.
When I look in the mirror and ask myself the "but at what cost?" question, that pool suddenly doesn't feel as appealing as it did in the moment.
It's not a matter of IF we will get bit by the jealousy bug, but WHEN. It's going to happen. As such, we must be ready to face it head-on. That's where the "but at what cost?" question can be so handy.
I don't have any negative feelings towards people who do things that make me jealous. After all, they are simultaneously making decisions that have their own costs. That's what makes all of this so personal. We each have choices to make.
It's not about making THE right choice. Instead, we should each pursue the right choice for us. The right choice for you and the right choice for me.
I know I'll get jealous again, but when I do, it will be another opportunity for me to look in the mirror and ask myself if I'm truly pursuing the life I'm meant to live. That's a gift!