Your Far-Fetched Life

When I started publicly sharing ideas, stories, and insights, I never anticipated the amount of active pushback I'd receive. Perhaps I was naive, but I missed the mark by a mile on that one. Whenever you share ideas publicly, you (knowingly or unknowingly) open the door for reciprocating feedback from the public.

The feedback ranges from encouraging to discouraging, serious to humorous, and loving to hateful. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to "go eff yourself," I'd have a lot of nickels. My favorite all-time comment was when someone said my wife was going to have an affair and leave me for her CrossFit trainer. That would be sad, so let's hope something like that doesn't happen. Luckily, Sarah doesn't do CrossFit....

However, one common piece of feedback stings a bit. It doesn't sting because it hurts me, or I take offense to it. Rather, it stings because I feel terrible for people who feel that way. It's when people tell me these ideas of meaning over money are "far-fetched," "out of touch," or "unattainable." It's not that they don't want to prioritize meaning over money, but they don't believe it's even a possible path. Thus, they must concede to a life of chasing money and throwing away decisions that provide meaning.

I don't feel any anger toward these people. More than anything, I have empathy. I wish I could shake them and show them first-hand how much better their lives could be. I wish I could be like one of the ghosts on A Christmas Carol who can teleport the person to their alternate reality and peep at what it looks like. I want them to see, touch, and feel it with their own eyes, hands, and hearts.

I don't believe what I believe simply because I've lived it in my own life. A sample size of one is too small to rely on, and it would be foolish for me to believe my way is the right way. Instead, I've been privileged to watch hundreds of people follow a similar path. Friends, clients, podcast listeners, blog readers, social media DMs, and people who approach me at my speaking events. Hundreds!

Like the countless clients who made drastic 180-degree shifts in their careers to aggressively pursue meaning when they knew it would likely result (at least initially) in far less money.

Like the young man in New Zealand who DM'd me out of the blue to tell me he discovered the podcast, binged 70 episodes in two weeks, and it changed his life, career, and marriage—not because of me, but because of meaning.

Like YOU, the blog readers, who generously and repeatedly share profound stories about choosing meaning when seemingly everyone advises you to do the opposite. People see what you're doing. You're l bending the culture.

You are normalizing a "far-fetched" life, one decision, one story, one impactful act, and one meaningful day at a time.

Creativity is a Renewable Resource

18 months ago, while enjoying a coffee with my close friend and mentor, Gary Hoag, I confided that I was struggling with my writing. Specifically, I struggled finding the time and the ideas to publish 2-3 pieces per month. His advice was simple and absurd: "Just write every day." Ah yes, why didn't I think of that!?!? I don't have time or ideas to write 2-3 times per month, so let's go ahead and write 30 times per month. Does this sound as crazy to you as it did to me? To be honest, I'd probably jump off a cliff if Gary suggested it. For that reason, and perhaps combined with a momentary lapse in judgment, I took his advice.

Today is my 500th article published in 500 days. It feels weird even typing that. 238,000 words sent into cyberspace, hoping to move the needle in someone's life. It started with a handful of people already subscribed to my previous blog (plus a few new pity follows from friends and family). Fast forward 500 days and the addition of many new faces, and The Daily Meaning has been e-mailed 62,000 times (plus however many people have stopped by the website to read it). Wow…just wow!

Out of curiosity, I just Googled, "What is a normal open rate for e-mail newsletters?" Depending on the source, anything between 15%-25% should be viewed as "good." In other words, if 1,000 e-mails are sent, it would be a success if 150-250 of them are opened. Not you guys, though….. you're built differently. Of the 62,000 e-mails that have been sent, approximately 70% have been opened. What!?!? I noticed this trend early on, and it's boggled my mind ever since. To say I'm grateful would be the world's biggest understatement. Releasing this blog into the world each morning, and the engagement you show in return, is one of the biggest joys of my life. I never take that opportunity (and responsibility) for granted.

If there's one lesson I've learned from this crazy endeavor, it's this: creativity is a renewable resource. In the past, I would have tightly held my "good ideas" while seeking the perfect time to release them into the world. It was a form of hoarding, in some sense. But it does no good stuck in my brain. On the flip side, sharing our creativity is an act of generosity. It allows the opportunity to make a difference and add value to people's lives.

Something else happens when we release our creativity into the world. It's like pruning a shrub. After we prune a shrub, there's less plant remaining; we took something away. In short order, however, it grows faster, fuller, and better. Creativity is much the same way. When we share something with the world, we're initially left with less. However, the act of sharing spurs our creativity to grow faster, fuller, and better. It's the ultimate renewable resource.

Yes, you're creative. Whether you're a traditional creative (artist, photographer, musician, etc.) or someone who views yourself as "not a creative person," you ARE creative. You have something to share. Something that matters. Something that will add value to other people's lives. Share it. Just share it. It's a renewable resource.

The Drink That Satiates

When I was a kid, I distinctly remember an advertising battle between Coke and Pepsi. The rivalry ran so deep that they would openly bash one another in their TV and print ads (at least that's how my questionable childhood brain remembers it). Anyway, one of the nuances I remember playing out was this back-and-forth debate about taste tests. Despite Coke being the overwhelmingly favorite drink of consumers, Pepsi continually (and oddly) produced results showing they were preferred in taste tests.

Here's where things get interesting, and it has to do with one particular word: "taste." Pepsi would win taste tests, yet people would buy Coke. Why? People don't taste pop; they drink it. Pepsi's taste was more appealing (dare I say sexy?), but it wasn't satiating. The surface-level appeal works great as long as you're just tasting it......but that's not how the product is consumed.

Happiness is the same thing. It tastes great. It's extremely appealing....even sexy. We violently pursue it with our actions and behaviors (often counterproductively). But just like Pepsi, it's not satiating. And like our pop-drinking experience, we're not in the tasting business. We don't taste life.....we drink it….we live it.

This is why, in my humble but convicted opinion, we often live with a void in our lives. We do everything we can to fill this void with happiness, but happiness is fleeting. I drove my new (to me) 350Z for a bit yesterday. It was only 36 degrees out, but I rolled the top down and cranked up the Twenty One Pilots. It made me happy. It was pure fun. It was also fleeting. That's not to demean the experience or treat it as if it doesn't matter. Rather, it's fair to recognize money, stuff, and status cannot satiate us. They can provide a momentary jolt of happiness (tastes great!), but it doesn't fill the void.

It's okay to taste the Pepsis of life. They taste good! They're appealing. They're fun. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! On the flip side, we need to recognize those things can never and will never satiate. They aren't the prescription for what ails us. They aren't the solution to fill the void.

Instead, what we're really searching for meaning and fulfillment. We're looking for something that motivates us to get out of bed and gives us the opportunity to make a difference. That idea takes a few different forms. First, generosity. Generosity fills our tanks unlike any material self-satisfying purchase can. Generosity always wins, and the giver is often the biggest beneficiary of the gift. Second, we need to pursue work that matters. Not work that pays a ton. Not work that gives us status. Not work that's fun. Not work that's easy. Work that matters. Using our gifts and passions to make a difference. Be productive. Add value to others. It’s simple, but powerful.

That's the Coke of life. It's not as appealing or sexy, and it doesn't give us that instant jolt, but man, it satiates! Drink up!

Maximize Your Life, Not Your Income

Career shifts are scary. They are an act of trust. We're leaving something familiar and transitioning to the unknown. When considering a career shift, conventional wisdom says we need to build up our future income until it meets or exceeds our current income, then jump ship. This advice is repeatedly and confidently bestowed by one of our culture's most prominent financial gurus.

I couldn't disagree more with this strategy. It's a form of anchoring. Whether we're currently making $50,000 or $500,000, we're told that's the hurdle. That's the threshold for success. We need to recreate this level of income in our new chapter of life. Why? What's the point? So we can live the very same lifestyle? So we can continue making the same amount of financial progress? Regardless of the answer, the point of this idea is to maximize our income. Culture is fine if we want to change jobs, but only if we continue to make as much money as possible.

Again, I couldn't disagree more. Instead of maximizing our income, I believe we should maximize our lives. When I left my prior career nearly five years ago, our family took a 90% pay cut (when we had twin two-year-olds). That was one of the scariest things we've ever done. Not only did we not follow conventional wisdom, we blatantly disrespected it. People were quite unhappy with this decision. People who love me dearly. People who were terrified for our family's fate.

When Sarah and I made that switch, not only could we not maintain the same lifestyle and financial progress as before, but we literally didn't make enough income to pay our monthly bills. It took seven months to claw our way to a place where our monthly income was enough to pay for our basic needs. Again, that was terrifying!

The only reason we could physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally do this is because we weren't trying to maximize our income. We were trying to maximize our life. And maximize we did! It was the hardest thing we've ever done but also the most rewarding. It allowed us to live with meaning, create impact, and unlock a richer life.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about several friends who desperately want to make career shifts. They are passionate and brilliant at their craft. They will surely change the world. Their future is brighter than the sun. Just one problem, though. They are falling for the lie. They have been led to believe their new income must match their current income before making the shift. They don't. That's ridiculous. Each of them could make the shift today, and their lives would immediately benefit (as would the lives of those whom they would subsequently serve with their gifts and passions). They don't even need to take a 90% pay cut. For most, it's 10%, 20%, or maybe even 30%. Small price to pay for a life of meaning and impact.

If you're reading this, you know who you are! Do it! This is your time!

Never From a Coach’s Mouth

Today's post was inspired by a text exchange with my friend Ashley. It was regarding a trending news story about the Long Beach State men's basketball program. If you aren’t familiar, it's a doozy. Their 62-year-old head coach, Dan Monson, has been at the helm of their basketball program for the last 17 years. However, this was a tough season for the 49ers. They were predicted to finish near the top of the conference standings, but headed into the conference tournament ranked 5th (with a 5-game losing streak under the belt).

Wanting to do what's right, Coach Monson approached the athletic department ahead of the conference tournament and said he would resign if they didn't perform better in the tourney. No need, said the athletic director, as the decision to fire him had already been made. Ouch! His job was already dead, but he didn't know it yet. He entered the conference tournament as a lame-duck coach......and they won it all! their reward? A trip to the big dance. It's an amazing story, and we'll see what their next chapter looks like when his 15-seed team faces the 2-seed Arizona Wildcats later today.

While I couldn't love this story more, what Ashley said next is what got me worked up. She highlighted the fact you never hear a coach say, "Only x more years until I retire." So true! How many coaches can you count at or above the traditional retirement age? Tons! Many of us have played for a coach, at some level, who was well into his/her 70s. Older coaches are so common that the seasoned, grizzled veteran coach has been a TV and movie trope for decades.

I have a theory about why. No, it's not because they make boatloads of money (most don't, anyway). No, it's not because of the excellent benefits (many have little to no benefits). No, it's not because it's a simple and easy job (it's anything but!). Here's my theory. Coaches don't choose coaching for the money; they choose it for the meaning. Therefore, they aren't trying to race to the finish line. It's about the journey, not the destination. They wake up each day with a sense of purpose and anticipation for what's to come. When we live in this manner, our life is better WITH work than WITHOUT. It adds a richness to our life. Coaches know this!

While I'm not advocating we all quit our jobs and become coaches, I do think we could learn something by watching how coaches navigate their lives and careers. They are far from perfect, and they experience stress, turmoil, tension, and an often brutal schedule/lifestyle. But you'll rarely see a coach count down to the retirement finish line. If anything, you'll hear statements like, "I'll do it for as long as I can," or "I hope I can do this for at least x years." Passion, meaning, fulfillment, and impact.

Pay attention to this dynamic as you watch and enjoy the games in the coming days. Oh yeah, and go Cyclones!

Have To vs. Get To

I'm still thinking about the conversation I shared with the young woman I mentioned in yesterday's post. One of the things that struck me about her story is how much meaning and impact she's making in her work. She's a legit hero. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her work, yet at the same time, she admitted the utter frustration she feels when her income immediately goes toward debt payments.

See the tension there? Her work has so much meaning, yet her financial situation has changed her relationship with it. She's literally changing people's lives, but the income she's receiving from it is helping her barely hang on financially.

This is a tension I felt earlier in my career. Despite loving what I was doing, I woke up in the morning knowing I had to go to work. My job, and the paycheck it would provide, was my only lifeline to making my debt payments and living to fight another day. I was grateful for the job, but in some ways, it felt like I had nothing to show for all my hard work. That's a very helpless and defeating feeling. But there's a purpose behind it.

Then, something happened. When our $236,000 of debt was gone (4.5 long years later), I woke up feeling different. For some odd reason, my job got better. I felt more positive about it. I found excitement toward the work. I became better at what I did. Literally nothing about my job changed. I'm the one who changed. After a few weeks, I realized what it was. For all those years, I HAD TO go to work. Now, I GET TO go to work. It was a choice, and that choice changed everything!

Feeling like we have a figurative gun to our head is the worst feeling in the world. Even the best job will feel like garbage if we believe we don't have a choice. On the flip side, there's no better feeling than knowing we are going to work today solely because we want to. There's freedom in that. There's meaning in that.

My relationship with work forever changed that day. I promised myself that if one day I didn't want to go to that job anymore, I wouldn't. Little did I know, I'd have to follow through with that promise just seven years later when I left that career to begin what I do now. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but also the easiest (ironic, I know). I GET TO do what I do, and I never take that for granted. It doesn't mean it's easy (it's not). It doesn't mean it's always fun (it's not). But, boy, I can testify there's nothing more fulfilling or rewarding than waking up every day knowing I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.

I hope you wake up with the same feeling. If not, I invite you to find it. It's out there.....I promise.

It Sure Is Lucky to Be Lucky

As I was recently sitting down with a couple, one of the spouses said something that struck me as interesting. "We've just been really lucky." Frankly, I couldn't have disagreed more. Fortunate? Yes. Blessed? Absolutely. But lucky? I don't think so.

Some context is in order. This couple is considering making some fairly drastic decisions, which will likely have many financial ripple effects. To gauge where they are financially, I began asking for more information. They have good-paying jobs in challenging fields. They don't have debt. They have money saved. They are proactive givers. Their monthly expenses are fairly conservative. They've done so many things well!

As we unpacked each item, I intentionally pointed out how these outcomes were not coincidental. Nobody is luckily debt-free. Nobody luckily has a good amount saved. Nobody luckily gives generously. Nobody luckily has a conservative living cost structure. These aren't circumstances of luck. Rather, they are the consequences of thousands of small but powerful decisions compounded over time.

It's funny how lucky we are when we live with intentionality, patience, and humility. This couple gets it! By the time we concluded our conversation, I wholeheartedly encouraged them to engage in this wildly disruptive idea. Not because it's wild, but because it matters. Their ideas are beyond counter-cultural, but it's where their meaning lies. Without even knowing it, every decision they've made for the past 5+ years has led them to this amazing and "lucky" place. I couldn't be more excited for them!

Are you "lucky?" If so, just know it's likely not luck. If you've been blessed and are in a position to make counter-cultural decisions that are potentially financially harmful, it just might be a result of thousands of previous wise choices. I'm not asking you to not be grateful. I'm asking you to look in the mirror and recognize that your decisions (even the small ones) have consequences. These consequences build up over time, weaving together a web of "good luck."

Today, I hope you're as "lucky" as this other couple. When you are, I hope you use the opportunity to make some wildly counter-cultural decisions in your pursuit of meaning.

You Aren’t Buying Subs

Every year, our youth group sells homemade sub sandwiches to our church members as a fundraiser to defray the cost of our summer mission trips. One week, the students pass out flyers and order forms; the next week, the sandwiches are made and available for pickup.

When I began participating in this event, it struck me as odd that they sold these subs for $5 each. Though I call it "odd," it was very much a normal approach. Sell a product, make a profit, raise money. I suggested eliminating prices altogether and letting people pay whatever they desire. There was understandable pushback to this idea. "What if people didn't pay anything?" "What if they paid less than $5?" "All our work could be for nothing." All valid concerns!

I posed a different perspective. Instead of treating people like they were buying subs, we should approach the event as though people were investing in the mission. It's true that if we charge $5 per sub, we'll absolutely receive $5 per sub. That's undeniable. However, on the flip side, the most we will receive is $5 per sub. $5 on the low end and $5 on the high end.....that's a narrow band.

Instead, if we treated the event (and actually believed) that people were investing in the mission, I believed we would raise far more than $5 per sub. People hesitated to buy into this idea, so I made them a deal. I felt so confident in this alternative approach that I promised to personally compensate them for any shortfall incurred by my strategy. I'm not sure they believed me, but I sincerely meant it.

The results? Many people did, in fact, give little to nothing. This is an inevitable outcome when we rip up the boundaries. Some people will abuse the system when the opportunity allows it. That's just a fact of life. However, that isn't the end of the story. Despite having many people give between $0-$5, we ended with an average of approximately $8 per sub. Seeing that people were indeed there to invest in the mission was an extraordinary moment. Fast forward many years, and we had our most recent sub fundraiser event last week. I wasn't involved this year, so I participated as the father of two hungry little boys. No prices! I loved it! It was a fun opportunity to invest in the mission.

This brings me to you. As you're out living your life, always keep your eyes open for opportunities to invest. There are so many people and organizations seeking to make an impact. People and organizations that want to do good in this world. When you encounter them, don't view them as someone who needs your money. Don't treat it like a transaction. Don't merely buy a product or a service from them. Invest in them. Give with meaning. Take advantage of the opportunity to be part of something bigger than you.

You aren't buying subs. You're investing in the mission. Embrace that beautiful opportunity!

Savor Those Rent House Sandwiches

One of my friends recently experienced a life-altering situation. It's one of those occurrences where life can be completely normal, then take a sudden turn at the snap of your fingers. It's one of those moments that show us how delicate and fragile life can be. It's one of those events that makes you take a step back and take inventory of your life.

I was so glad to see him recently! He shared that while he regularly listens to our Meaning Over Money podcast, this situation instantly gave him an entirely new perspective. He said he agreed with and understood the whole meaning over money concept before, but now he GETS it. It became deeply personal and took on an entirely new importance.

He also shared a beautiful story that touched me on so many levels. I'm grateful he gave me the blessing to share with you. For context, this man has experienced tremendous success in his journey so far. He cares about people, his work ethic is unmatched, and he has a brilliant mind. You would look at him and say, "Wow, they are doing really, really well." As you hear this story, keep this context in mind.

In the aftermath of this life-changing situation, as he became reflective on his journey, purpose, and values, he asked his wife to make him a rent house sandwich. Excuse me, what?!? A rent house sandwich, he explained, is the meal he and his wife used to eat earlier in their marriage when they had minimal resources. Chicken nuggets, Doritos, and mustard served on white bread. He calls it a "rent house sandwich" because they lived in a small rental house in that tough (but simple) season of life. His wife was surprised he requested such a meal, but she obliged. As he was in his reflective state, he wanted something that reminded him of where they came from. Something that rooted him in the foundation of what's most important: family. Not money. Not status. Not stuff. Family.

Me: "Well, how did it taste?"

Him: "It was so good. So good." He was wearing a deep and sincere smile as he responded, almost as if he relived it at that moment.

It was a tremendously touching story. I got emotional when he shared it with me, and I'm emotional writing about it now. While you and I probably haven't had the pleasure of devouring chicken nuggets, Doritos, and mustard on white bread, we each have our own version of rent house sandwiches. These odd little nuances are woven into our story and play a meaningful role in our journey. Never lose sight of where you came from. Don't overlook the battles you’ve fought. Don't take your blessings for granted.

Life is indeed delicate. It's easy to forget that in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. I encourage you to push pause, take a step back, remind yourself of what's most important, and savor those rent house sandwiches.

Way Too Short for My Soul, Corazon

Huge news, guys! Twenty One Pilots released a new song last week....AND announced the upcoming release of their latest album. This was a huge deal for all four members of the Shelton household, and I even scheduled my day around the release of the new song (and accompanying music video). That definitely makes me weird, but I'll accept that title.

Though I'm absolutely biased to the core, I thought it was a killer song. The song and music video are a continuation of the lore, which is a fictional dystopian story that began nine years ago with the release of their album Vessel. While the video might be confusing to people unfamiliar with the lore, it's a catchy and enjoyable song, nonetheless. You can check it out here.

Don't worry; this post isn't solely me gushing about Twenty One Pilots. Instead, it's about a specific line in the lyrics. It's a segment of the song that's quickly going viral and will most certainly become iconic to fans for years to come. You can find it at the 3:07 mark.

"The days feel like the perfect length. I don't need them any longer, but for goodness' sake do the years seem way too short for my soul, corazon."

As I wrestle with the ideas revolving around Meaning Over Money, the concept of time is always at the forefront. Time is so scarce. It's the rarest commodity on the planet. It's also the only one that can't be bought. Whether you're a high school kid, Elon Musk, or anyone in between, we all have the same 24 hours in a day.

I love how Tyler pointed out that our days are plenty long, but the years are far too short. The older I get, the more evident and painful this dynamic becomes. My kids were newborns yesterday, and then I blinked, and they were in first grade. It's brutal!

This is why the pursuit of meaning is so important. We get to spend today's 24 hours pursuing something. If it's money, we just might find it. But to what end? If we play that out to its natural outcome, we're going to trade months, years, and even decades for the accumulation of money and stuff. That time is gone….and we can't get it back. Sure, we'll have the money to show for it on the back end. But at what cost?

We need to weigh the trade-offs. Too many people are throwing away a meaningful life in exchange for a larger bank account. "Money don't lie," said a friend who was recently defending his aggressive pursuit of money. Sure enough, but do you know what also doesn't lie? The fractured marriage, the loss of memories and connectivity with his kids, and the daily/weekly dread that hits him so hard that you can literally see him aging before your eyes.

It's a dark, lonely, and all too common road, unfortunately. Money don't lie, but neither does meaning. Harness your time for good....it's scarce.

The Cost of Want, Revisited

Earlier this month, I shared the story of a family in a predicament. They have a combined income of $340,000 ($240,000 from him and $100,000 from her). She is absolutely miserable at her job, and her dream is to stay at home with their three small children. One problem: they can't afford to live their current lifestyle with "only" a $240,000 income.....and they aren't willing to make it happen. I gave them a few options for navigating this pursuit of a more meaningful life, but they said no to every suggestion. They insist on keeping their massive house, luxury cars, fancy trips, country club membership, taste for designer clothing, and hoarding investments for an early 50s retirement. Every one of these was a non-starter.

Her parting request was for me to collect additional feedback from my blog readers, and you delivered! But first, I had a different type of experiment in mind. If you subscribe to and read a daily blog called The Daily Meaning, it's a tell. There's a certain type of person who connects with my content. You're my people! Though we all have differing opinions on various topics (love your constant feedback!), a common thread seems to connect each of us: meaning over money.

With that in mind, I first wanted to capture feedback from a different audience. I contacted random people in my life and bounced this couple's scenario off them. Here's a summary of their feedback:

• They "deserve" to have all their luxuries AND for her to stay home. 

• The husband should just find a way to make $100,000 more so they can make it work. 

• If they can spend money on all those things and still retire in their early 50s, they should cut back on their luxuries, she should stay at work, and they should push for a 40s retirement. In other words, ratchet up the misery so they can enjoy their life sooner. 

Guys, this is the world's way. This is exactly the way the majority of our society thinks. This is the prevailing wisdom and the commonly shared values of our culture. 

Now, your feedback! Here's a smattering of the opinions you shared with me. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. 

• "As respectfully as one can say it, I think they are choosing money over meaning."

• "I am going to be a little harsh here, but it sounds like this couple needs to have a better perspective on life. They could be doing so much good in the world with that kind of income. Instead of living for themselves, they could learn to start giving and make other people's lives better. They will be so much happier and fulfilled in the long run."

• "They seem to be stuck in the ultimate rat race: get more money, get more stuff, rinse and repeat until you die. That is a sad way to live!"

• "I would say they need to go on a mission trip to a third world country for 2 weeks and see if that would open a new perspective for them (that life is not meant for pursuing/chasing things)."

• "I am wondering who they hang out with. I would bet that their friends most likely live their lives the same way. If they want to make a change, they might have to change their circle of influence."

• "A question you might ask her is how she feels about teachers or social workers who work just as hard as them but are forced to live on less. Sometimes we forget how blessed we are."

• "Oh brother, that's my reaction. Cutting back is hard but I choose meaning over money!"

• "Can't have everything we want. It wouldn't be good for us if we did. We would be too self-reliant and we weren't created to be that way."

• Then, there's this little gem to end with a laugh: "Had to really think out of the box on this one. Become a throuple. Find another person to join the marriage. The new person would work full time and contribute financially, allowing the original woman to quit her job and stay home full time while the household remains dual-income, spending lavishly on their lifestyle while working towards FIRE."

I shared your feedback with this woman. She was thankful and a bit surprised. Only time will tell if they bend toward meaning or money. In the meantime, keep walking the walk in your circles, leaning toward meaning every step of the way. Grateful for you all!

Break the Mold

Michael Jordan will forever be my favorite NBA player, but Steph Curry will confidently sit next to him on my Mount Rushmore of all-time favorite players. I absolutely love Curry, and my social media algorithms also know it. This was evidenced last night when I stumbled upon a gem of a video.

@crowmovie3 #fvp #foryou #basketball #stephencurry #iloveyou ♬ original sound - Crow movie

Despite wreaking havoc on some of the best teams in the country during March Madness (experts thought it was an anomaly), Curry was disrespected before, during, and after the draft. He didn't fit the mold. Nothing he did fit within the bounds of commonly held beliefs about how basketball could and should be played. They tried to put him in a box.

Curry didn't care. He didn't conform. He didn't try to be someone he wasn't. He didn't stay in the box. He simply became more of what he already was. Then, he changed the game of basketball forever. He broke the mold!

While none of us will be slinging logo threes in our day job, we have a lot to learn from Curry. Society and the prevailing culture are quick to tell us how the world works, the way things are supposed to be done, and what is (and isn't) possible. Much of my week is spent trying to help people break free from universally believed truths. These toxic ideas are pervasive and are holding people back en masse.

Our clients, podcast listeners, and blog readers often reach out to share stories. One story that's on repeat is the story about how they will share some of their decisions with friends/family/etc., only to be told they are stupid, weird, naive, or some other insult. Whenever this happens, I congratulate them. This is how we know we're on the right track. They are breaking the mold!

My decisions and ideas get insulted almost daily at this point. I was recently sitting with a group of guys when one of them said something terribly offensive to me. It was concerning me continuing to make a fraction of the income I used to when the opportunity to return to a higher income is still on the table. The other two guys agreed with this person, but were shocked and disappointed he would say something like that to my face. They asked if I was mad, and I responded that it was the ultimate compliment. I couldn't have loved it more.

Break the mold. Please break the mold. Let's collectively break the mold so much that it ultimately becomes the new mold. That's what it looks like to bend the culture.

Life is Short

In the span of 24 hours, I received news of three people passing away far too soon. They were in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. It was sad, and it hit a little too close to home. In the aftermath of these tragic developments, I was talking to a friend about it, and they shared a commonly-believed sentiment. I'll paraphrase: Each of these people worked their entire adult lives and died before they had a chance to actually enjoy life.

When we hear stories like this, a common takeaway is that it's proof we should hurry up and race toward retirement so we can milk a "life we actually enjoy" for as long as possible.

These types of stories impact me profoundly, but in the opposite way. It doesn't prove we should race faster to the retirement finish line. Rather, it's proof that we should live a life worth living.....today. Life is indeed short. I'm not trying to race to some finish line so that I can live my remaining years in relaxation. I'm trying to live each day, week, and month to the fullest. Not at some arbitrary point in my future, but today.

I've always had a morbid sense that I'm going to pass away too soon. I'm not sure where that thought comes from, and I'm not entirely sure if it's healthy or not. Regardless of its origin or implications, it has done one thing. It's reiterated the importance of living with meaning, generosity, and impact today. Not someday. Not when I meet certain markers or hit particular milestones. Today. This week. This month. This year.

I was on a cruise a few weeks ago. That was an awesome week.

I was out of state at a client's office last week. The days were long, and the nights were short. That was an awesome week.

I'm serving clients and attending board meetings this week. It's an awesome week.

I'll be creating a ton of content and hosting some difficult meetings next week. That will be an awesome week.

We have a mini spring break trip in a few weeks (plus March Madness). That will be an awesome week.

Life is short. Don't waste today in hopes of tomorrow. Don't destroy your working years in pursuit of an accelerated retirement. Don't disregard the blessings of hard work and struggle while glorifying a life of leisure. Life is short. Squeeze meaning from all of it.

First Things First

I receive a lot of criticism. From friends, strangers, and everyone in between. Some are constructive, and some aren't. I even have favorites. Here's one of my all-time favorites: "You can't feed your family with meaning." Nice and sharp!

I actually agree with this one. I once tried to pay the grocery store cashier with meaning.....they just called security. I kid, I kid. It's true, though. Meaning doesn't pay the bills. When people make this comment to criticize my work, they are 100% right. On the flip side, I also believe I'm 100% right in my insistence we should all try to pursue meaningful work. Both of these sentiments can be simultaneously true.

While I'll die on the hill supporting meaningful work, it's imperative that our basic needs are met. We need food, clothing, housing, and transportation. At the bare minimum, each of these fundamental boxes must be checked. In some situations, in some seasons, and in some scenarios, this will require us to temporarily push pause on the meaning, and focus on having enough money. Not because we're greedy or materialistic, but because we recognize the importance of personal accountability and the responsibility to provide the basic needs for our family. It's not sexy, or even fun, but it's important.

When someone struggles to keep the lights on and the landlord at bay, I don't advise them to aggressively pursue meaning. Instead, I work with them to immediately increase their income to meet critical needs. In some situations, cutting expenses can be helpful. However, in most of these scenarios, it's a deficiency of income problem. The resulting work might not be meaningful or fun, but closing the income gap is tremendously important….and there’s meaning in that act.

The bigger focus on meaning will come in due time, but first things first. We need to get our financial foundation under us. We must ensure we have enough stability to keep the proverbial train on the tracks. Then, once we do, we can shift our focus back to pursuing meaning. It can be a delicate dance, but we must dance. We can't focus solely on one or the other. If we focus exclusively on providing financially, we will sabotage ourselves of much meaning and fulfillment. However, if we focus only on the meaning, we may inadvertently sabotage our family's finances. Both of these are dangerous outcomes, which is why we must continually navigate the journey with intentionality.

First things first, but enjoy the dance!

Be Unreasonable

Last week, I attended some leadership meetings with my Texas client. On one of the days, we heard a presentation from a third-party consultant specializing in sales and culture. He brought up a point that struck me as interesting. He discussed how some organizations (especially the military) create their own language. Special terminology, new words, relevant acronyms, etc. The reasoning behind this has multiple layers:

• Using a shared language that everyone understands helps create clarity.

• It drives simplicity and efficiency.

• It helps people and teams lean into the mission at hand.

• It builds connections and relationships between the people who are in the know. 

As he was explaining this concept, I had one idea that kept popping up in my brain. It's a book called Unreasonable Hospitality. This book is the foundation for how we operate Northern Vessel. TJ, our founder, is the embodiment of this concept. He talks about the book constantly, and as a result, these concepts cloud every conversation we have (which is nearly daily). 

Now, the combination of these two ideas. I'm coining a new phrase and want you to be part of it. This is my formal invitation for you. Be unreasonable. Be unreasonable in the pursuit of meaning. Be unreasonable in the generosity we show others. Be unreasonable in our efforts to make a difference in someone's life. Be unreasonable in bucking the gravitational pull of our culture in exchange for something better. Be unreasonable. 

I'd like to think of myself as an unreasonable guy. Much of the time, I nail it. However, I've recently witnessed cracks in my unreasonableness. I'll call them deficiencies. But as I settle into this new phrase, Be Unreasonable, it will be at the forefront of each aspect of my life and business. I need to create unreasonableness in the areas I'm bleh.

I want to be unreasonable with you. If you spend part of each day reading this blog, just know I don't take that for granted. I feel a tremendous weight (in a good way) each day when I sit down to write. I deeply desire to give you something special. I want to provide you with a little 400-500 word gift that can make you smile, make you think, make you grow, and/or make you want to change this world. 

My challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to be unreasonable with people in your life. The act of being unreasonable will look different for everyone, but I encourage you to find yours. Have fun with it. Make people look at you cross-eyed. Make yourself into the weird one. Bend the culture, ever so slightly, with your circle of influence. Just be unreasonable. 

The Release Valve in Practice

In yesterday's post, I explained how meaningful work is a release valve to so much time and financial pressure. Instead of hoarding money and sucking up miserable work in pursuit of an earlier-the-better retirement, I propose that we ought to consider the pursuit of meaningful work. When we do, we don't feel pressured to race to the finish line. This provides for a more meaningful life and less pressure to hoard assets to create the escape hatch. 

A few readers reached out to ask questions about this concept. I admit, it's counter-cultural. I'm honored people would take the time to consider these wild ideas. A few people asked if I could give an example of the release valve in practice. Here's a real-life situation someone recently approached me with. I'll use round-ish numbers to make it more digestible:

• Age: 30

• Current Investments: $100,000

• Desired Retirement Age: 50

• Desired Retirement Income: $100,000/year in today's dollars

• Job Status: He's currently in a high-paying job that he despises. It's sucking the life out of him. Zapped energy, he's a jerk to his wife, and he travels a LOT. However, it pays a lot of money......

• The Situation: He desires to save as much money as possible, as quickly as possible, so he "only" has to do this for 20 more years.....tops. His question to me was how much money he needs to invest (er, hoard) to make that goal a reality. 

Here's the math. For him to retire at age 50 with an annual retirement income equal to $100,000 in today's dollars (using 3% inflation, a 9% return, and the 4% rule for withdrawals), he needs to invest approximately $5,900/month between age 30 and 50. In other words, he'll continue working a job he absolutely hates (but "only" for 20 more years), sock away nearly $6,000/month, and have little income left to actually live a life. 

He oddly seemed excited about this. However, I threw out a few alternatives. First, I shared the numbers for a more traditional retirement at age 60. To get the same $100,000 retirement income (in today's dollars), he would need to invest $2,700/month between age 30 and 60. That's less than half! He hated this idea. To him, it means he has to put up with a miserable job for 30 years instead of 20. Or, as he put it, "I'll never survive that."

Then, I showed him the release valve. I showed him what an age 70 retirement could look like. I caveated one point, though. It's not 40 years of misery.......rather, 40 years of meaning. In this scenario, he would need to invest $1,100/month from age 30 to 70 to get the same $100,000 annual income (in today's dollars). For one-fifth of the monthly cost, he can live a meaningful life, pursue work that matters, and have the cash flow flexibility to travel and make memories with his small children.

The verdict? Option #1: "20 years doesn't sound so bad. It will go by fast." Sadly, I think he's right. It will most certainly go by in the blink of an eye. 

The Release Valve of Meaningful Work

In a recent talk, I commented about how I don't believe in retirement. I could see faces in the audience shift in real-time. When we got to my favorite part of the talk, the Q&A, someone asked a question that delighted me. "Don't you ever want to actually enjoy your life?" This was a sharp and direct question. I could see many in the audience get uncomfortable, anticipating a potentially awkward exchange. Here's a paraphrasing of my answer:

• I'm enjoying my life today more than ever…..while working harder than I've ever worked. 

• Work should add value to our lives, not impair it. 

• If I ever get to the point where my work becomes a negative, it's time to find new work. 

• "Enjoying" life doesn't directly correlate to a life of leisure. They aren't one and the same.

• Speaking of leisure, it's important to periodically take time to rest, travel, and adventure. This should happen during our career, not held back until after it.

Here's the typical work-to-retirement path:

1. Find work that pays as much as possible (disregarding what fulfillment it could/should provide).

2. Hoard as much money as possible along the way.

3. Reach a certain level of hoarding success as quickly as possible (60 is better than 65, 55 is better than 60, 50 is better than 55, …….).

4. Quit work and finally try to enjoy life.

This path incentivizes us to cut back on spending as much as possible (so we can aggressively invest), while we endure a job we dislike or hate, so we can get out ASAP. In other words, live with a certain level of career and financial misery for as short a window as necessary.

Here's something to think about. Meaningful work is a release valve from misery. Instead of following the path above, here's an alternative strategy:

1. Always pursue meaningful work (even if it pays less).

2. Invest consistently over a long period of time. Since you have a longer investing window and compound, you can invest less along the way and dedicate those extra resources toward more fulfilling endeavors (giving, traveling, making memories, etc.).

3. Give yourself the freedom to downshift/upshift your career as life evolves, always ensuring it adds value to your life.

4. If/When your health/energy deteriorates, be financially prepared to care for yourself. 

In the first scenario, we spend much of our adult life in some form of dissatisfaction (ranging somewhere between tolerance and misery), hoard resources instead of putting them to better use, and hope that one day, living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. In the second scenario, we find and sustain a meaningful life with far less time and financial pressure on ourselves.

Do I ever want to actually enjoy my life? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I want to enjoy it today, tomorrow, and down the road. I deeply desire that and have committed my life to the continual pursuit of meaning and impact. I desire that for you, too. 

Finding Fulfillment in an Unfulfilling Job

I often think and talk about a staggering statistic from a Gallup survey. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. Think about that! If you put 10,000 people in a stadium, the odds are that 7,000 of them despise or merely tolerate their job. It's easy to dismiss that as not a big deal, but that's where we spend half our waking hours. That's sad!

My first advice for people who feel disengaged in their jobs is to find something different. I truly believe this. I think most people in the 70% camp could significantly improve their lives simply by changing jobs. There are many reasons why people feel this way, but in many cases, a change is needed. 

However, I'd like to take a different approach to this dilemma today. Many drivers of our dissatisfaction are external. A crappy boss, a toxic culture, a lack of impact, tasks that don't align with our skillset, a rough work environment, hours/shifts that drain you.....the list goes on. These are all valid reasons for job dissatisfaction. 

On the flip side, there are internal drivers causing us misery in our job. Or more accurately, there are internal drivers that prevent us from finding meaning in our work. Let's face it, some jobs just suck. I once worked in a cheese factory (*not a Cheesecake Factory). That job sucked. I also worked for the U.S. Census Bureau for the 2000 census. That job sucked even more (which will happen when multiple people pull guns on you). We've all had crappy jobs, and some of you are in one today. It's easy to just see these jobs as utterly terrible, but when we do, we sell ourselves short.

Regardless of where you're at or what you're doing, I think we all have the power to find fulfillment in a bad job. Our perspectives move the needle for us. If we believe everything is terrible, it is. If we believe there's good in something, there is. With that context, I'll share a few simple ways we can create fulfillment in an unfulfilling job:

• We use our time (and resulting income) to help propel ourselves to where we really want to be. It gives a dead-end situation a purpose.

• We embrace our relationships on the job. Even in the worst jobs, some of those relationships can be blessings.

• We focus on the impact we're making. Sure, the work might suck, but we still have an opportunity to serve others and make a difference. That matters!

• We use it as an opportunity to gain more experience, skills, and momentum.

• We get to use the income from the job to care for our family and move the financial needle in our lives. Our hard work is not in vain!

Yes, I think you should leave a job you tolerate or hate. I'll die on that hill. In the meantime, finding fulfillment in an otherwise unfulfilling situation is possible. Don't let the meaning slip away.

It’s Not Meaning OR Money

Last night, more than 100 million people tuned in to watch a bunch of grown men play a game. Further, these grown men get paid millions of dollars to play their game. They drive fast cars, wear stylish clothes, take exotic trips, and their faces are plastered on billboards and TV screens all around the country. We idolize these athletes, yet at the same time, label them as only caring about money.

I couldn't disagree more! Yes, they make ridiculous money. Brock Purday famously makes "only" $850,000 this season......which is almost nothing for an NFL player. Patrick Mahomes, on the other hand, is making $37 million this season. Yeah, these players make a ton of money that's hard for us normal people to comprehend.

However, I don't think it's as simple as pigeonholing them as caring only about the money. It's not either/or. This isn't about having meaning OR money. In the world of meaning over money, I'm not asking people to choose meaning or money. I'm just asking them to choose meaning. When we do, in many cases, the money will often follow. Why? Because when we put our gifts, talents, passions, blood, sweat, and tears into our craft, we can't help but have some level of financial success. These NFL players didn't get to where they are by caring about money. They got here because they are gifted and worked extremely hard every step of their career. Their career is full of meaning!

Don't just take my word for it. You can see it with your own eyes. Tears flowing down cheeks during the national anthem. Passion flowing from them, whether it's ultimate joy or livid anger. Players sacrificing their bodies for the fans and their teammates. There was so much intensity on that field last. Yes, there was a lot of money at play. But I would argue the passion was greater.

The same goes for us. We don't have to choose between meaning and money. We just need to choose meaning. The rest will take care of itself. We might not make $37 million like Patrick Mahomes, or even $850,000 like Brock Purdy, but we will find our own version of financial rewards. Whatever that number is, it's not the definition of your success.

Don't be afraid to earn and receive financial blessings. But at the same time, don't let them (or the lack thereof) define your success.

Lessons From Archie (Moonlight) Graham

Warning: This post is going to be abnormally vague for my writing. I typically try to operate with transparency and vulnerability. Today's post is a bit different. The heart behind it is completely vulnerable, but the actual idea will remain in the shadows. A few reasons: 1) I'm not ready to unveil it just yet, and 2) I want you to think about your journey, not mine.

Last night, I began embarking on a new, exciting, and terrifying journey. I'm beyond pumped for it, but it's excruciatingly uncomfortable. So much so that I didn't really sleep last night. Ideas, fears, and what-ifs were spinning around my head, and I couldn't turn it off. My anxiety and fear were in full force.

This is the tension with discomfort. Even when we know we need to do something, it's hard to follow through when the discomfort is evident. It reminds me of this scene from Field of Dreams.

Archie (Doc) Graham had one dream: get an at-bat in the big leagues. There's a lot to the story, but after hitchhiking his way to Dyersville, IA, to Ray Kinsella's farm-turned-ballfield, young Archie was living his dream. There he was, in full uniform, playing ball with some of the legends of the game. Then, the twist.

Ray's daughter Karin fell off the bleachers while eating a hot dog, causing her to choke and go unconscious. Sensing the panic, Archie turned his attention to the bleachers and jogged across the field toward the young girl. As he approached the edge of the field, he stopped. In that moment, Archie knew exactly what he needed to do. Simultaneously, he also knew how uncomfortable this moment was. He paused, and maybe even hesitated. You can cut the tension with a knife.

Then, after coming to terms with the discomfort, young Archie stepped across the line and into his destiny. He knew the sacrifice he was making by taking that step, but he also saw the bigger picture. What waited on the other side of his discomfort was something even better. He saved the young girl, and her feuding family. Despite giving up so much at that moment, you could see the peace and contentment in his eyes as he said his goodbyes and eventually disappeared into the outfield.

That movie gives my eyes allergies every time I watch it. It also holds sentimental value for me, as I lived just six miles from where it was filmed. I just wish I was old enough to have an awareness and appreciation for it back then. As we journey through life, we will encounter those Archie Graham moments. We'll walk right up to the line, then stop, because crossing it could possibly be one of the most uncomfortable and scary things we can do. It's ok to pause. Pausing doesn't define us. It's what we do after the pause that matters. Will you step across that line and into your destiny, or turn back?

I want to be like Archie.