Here to Serve

Inspiration comes from the darndest places. As I was sitting here contemplating what to share today, I received a text from my often-discussed corporate client in Texas. As usual, they have interesting developments brewing and like to bounce scenarios and questions off me for my input. Some of their questions require quick and simple answers, while others require many hours of detailed contemplation and analysis. This request was of the quick and simple variety.

I told them to respond with any follow-up questions they might have, as I'm just preparing today's blog and can help however needed. One of the gentlemen jokingly responded that I should "write about people who constantly ask you to do things that you have given them the tools to do themselves and how annoying that is."

That's precisely what I will do, but I will pull a 180 on him. There is nothing annoying about this exchange whatsoever. In fact, it's a privilege and an honor. The fact my insights and expertise are desired and valued is something I never take for granted. Further, the opportunity to add value to their decision-making and overall business is a tremendous blessing. No part of me is even remotely annoyed by this. I should be sending him a thank you card for allowing me the opportunity and blessing to serve him. I'm beyond grateful.

We are here to serve. Simply put, this is the base calling in our life. We can, of course, choose to ignore it, refuse it, or turn our back on it. From the moment we wake up until we go back to bed, our day is a never-ending string of serving opportunities. Our spouse, kids, co-workers, clients, customers, neighbors, and even strangers. Nearly every interaction in our life is an opportunity (or, dare I say, duty?) to serve others.

Think about the people in your life you're attracted to. No, not that kind of attraction. The kind of attracted that you want to be in their presence. The kind that makes you want to spend time with them. The kind that makes you want to be more like them. Chances are this person is a servant. Chances are one of the primary attributes that make you (and probably others) attracted to them is their willingness and heart to serve others.

I could most certainly wake up each day with the objective of getting what I want for myself. That option is on the table. In fact, I know a lot of people who live this way. This is just one man's opinion, but that feels like an empty-calorie type of life. It might taste good for a bit, but it's anything but satiating.

The posture of service, on the other hand, is an immensely fulfilling way to live. We might not always get what we want by continually serving others, but we actually get something better: meaning, impact, and purpose. That's the irony of service. We get fed by feeding others.

“Wow, That’s Embarrassing”

A young business owner recently reached out to me. He wanted to chat over coffee. Never turning someone down for a coffee, I immediately agreed. We talked about life, work, family, and business. He revealed some of his goals and dreams, and surprisingly commented, "I'd like to be successful like you one day." He followed that up by talking about how he'd like to "make bank" to drive nice cars, sport luxury watches, and build the house of his dreams. There's a reason I shared his comment and this context.....you'll see in a moment. Toward the end of the conversation, he asked if I'd be willing to mentor him.

As we worked our way out the door and into the parking lot, we shared a few more pleasantries before parting ways. We were standing next to an older Nissan Altima with a massive ugly dent on the driver-side doors. As it caught his eye, he pointed and quipped, "Wow, that's embarrassing."

After we shook hands, he walked to his car, and I got into the heavily dented Altima. Part of me wanted to take a lap past his car to give him another glance at this embarrassing dent, but I refrained. I still don't know if he eventually realized he was insulting me.....maybe one day I'll ask him (or send him a picture of me posing next to my car like a magazine model).

The brutal dent is the result of an accident I experienced about 18 months ago. I was coming home from a negotiation meeting where my Northern Vessel business partners and I were hammering out the details of our ownership structure. A young teen driver was driving right next to me in the left lane, when he decided to change lanes without looking. He was scared and embarrassed, but everything turned out ok.

Immediately after the accident, I was in a tizzy about fixing the damage ASAP. I caught myself feeling this way and wondered why. I quickly realized it was because some part of me cared about what others thought (like the young man who thought my car was embarrassing). However, I quickly came to my senses and remembered I don't actually care about things like that.

Still, I took my car to the shop for an estimate and submitted it to insurance. Instead of having me send my car to the shop and pay for the work, the insurance company just sent me a check and called it "closed."

After I deposited the check, I had a decision to make. I could either a) repair the cosmetic damage and make sure people have a proper perspective of who I am, or b) do something else with the money. I ultimately chose to give the money away. My car looked like crap, but a bunch of kids got fed. I call that a win.

For the last 18 months, I've elected to keep the dent as a reminder of what's most important. Some see embarrassment, but I see beauty.

A Different Kind of Scorecard

Our 300th podcast episode was published yesterday. I typically don't stop to reflect on these sorts of things, but with the encouragement of a few close friends, I'm taking a moment to stop and pause. Now that I think about it, 300 is absolutely absurd. I can't remember the exact statistic, but around 90% of podcasts don't make it past episode 20. With an average episode length of 17 minutes, that's 85 hours of free content floating around cyberspace. While we won't pretend to be one of the top podcasts in the world, it's wild to see how broad the reach has been. We've even received notifications that we hit the top 10 lists in Italy, Belize, and Ukraine over the years. Very odd.

During a recent business trip to Texas, I treated myself to a nice slab of meat at a local steakhouse. As I was sitting at the bar waiting for my meal to arrive, I started chatting with a man next to me who was thumbing through his podcast app. I asked him what his favorite podcasts are. "Joe Rogan, ________ (*name I can't recall), and Meaning Over Money." Wait, Meaning Over Money? That's us!!! We had a good laugh about the coincidence and had a nice chat!

It brings me back to a recent conversation I had with a friend. We were talking about our businesses and some of the projects we're working on. When the subject of our podcast came up, he asked, "At what point do you just decide to give up?" Excuse me, what?!? He pointed out that we don't have sponsors and are seemingly not making any money from the podcast, thus we've pretty much failed. And since we've failed, at what point should we just stop doing it? My response: "What makes you think we're trying to make a bunch of money doing this?" Him: "Well, why else would you do it, then? That's a lot of time to waste for nothing."

Considering our show is called Meaning Over Money, it would be awfully hypocritical for us to define our podcasting success by how much money we make. We didn't start the show to make money. We created the show to make a difference. We began doing this to perhaps bend the culture regarding work and money. Have we succeeded? To the thousands of people who have listened over the years, I hope so! But more importantly, and obviously more challenging to measure, I wonder what impact our listeners are making by living work and money differently in their own lives. When they put meaning over money, how does that influence their friends, family, neighbors, and colleagues? I may never know the answer to that question.

Only you get to decide what success is. It can be money, but it doesn't have to be. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Why?" The answer to that question matters. When we're playing a different kind of game, we should be using a different kind of scorecard.

A Glimpse Under the (Cruise) Hood

I've shared bits and pieces about our family's recent cruise vacation. Some of the finer details must have perked people's interest, as at least a half-dozen readers asked if I would be sharing more about the economics of the trip. There's a voyeuristic side in each of us, where we like hearing the details of other people's situations. I think that's why our personal budget reveal episode was/is so popular. 

Well, your wish is my command. I dug through the numbers and will now share the total economics of our recent trip. For context, our family of four took a 6-night cruise on Royal Caribbean out of the Fort Lauderdale port. The ship was called Symphony of the Seas, which I believe is the second-largest ship in the world (and it was amazing!). When the dust settled, we spent approximately $5,100 all-in, broken down as follows:

• Cruise: $1,830 (We took advantage of a 30% off + kids sail free deal on the Royal Caribbean website. We stayed in an interior room, which was small but efficient. This price included all food).

• Flights: $740 (We saved $700 by flying out of Minneapolis - a 3-hour drive - instead of Des Moines. Not ideal, but we agreed it was worth it). 

• Food & Fuel to/from Minneapolis: $140

• Airport Parking: $210 (Given the -45 degree wind chill and the fact we wouldn't have coats with us, we elected to park in the terminal instead of taking the long-term parking shuttle).

• Fort Lauderdale Hotel: $220 (We didn't want to risk having a delayed flight ruin our trip, so we flew in the night before). 

• Ubers: $140 (Ubers to/from airport/port).

• On-Ship WiFi: $300 (This was a hard pill to swallow, but we ultimately decided to get WiFi on three devices. Looking back, we're glad we did).

• Drinks: $380 (This included alcoholic beverages, some fun drinks for the kids, and Sarah's fancy coffees).

• Aquapark Excursion: $50

• Pig Beach Excursion: $700 (A lot of money, but it created some lifelong memories). 

• Automatic Tips: $220 (By default, Royal Caribbean charges you $18/person/day for tips. However, this isn't mandatory. We elected to turn this off for the kids so we could use that extra money to give specific tips)

• Cash Tips: $200 (Primarily for our room attendant and the kids club staff. Our kids spent 7PM-10PM every night in the kids club, and they had a blast. There were a lot of tears saying goodbye that last night). 

There you have it. It wasn't cheap and ultimately cost more than we anticipated, but we don't have many regrets. It was a wonderful trip; we'd do it again in a heartbeat. 

Thoughts? Questions? Insights? Reactions? Would love to hear your feedback. Hit reply to this e-mail or drop a comment below on the webpage. 

I'll wrap it up this way: Meaning over money. That money could have been invested, or saved for something "more responsible," but our family primarily invests in two things: mission and memories.

Why Not You?

I've been an Iowa State Cyclone football fan since first stepping on campus 24 years ago. Confession: It's not always easy. We don't usually have stellar teams, and when we do, they end up underperforming expectations. Such was the case a few years ago when we were blessed by friends who purchased season tickets for our family.

While that season was full of amazing family memories and new traditions, the actual on-field performance was frustrating. We had a talented squad, tons of hype, and seemingly all the tools to get into the top 10. We had a four-year starter at quarterback, and he had a ton of weapons around him (including starting NY Jets running back Breece Hall). However, it wasn't meant to be.

Our quarterback's name was Brock Purdy. On a personal level, I thought he was a class act....a top-notch character. But as a player, it felt like he hit his ceiling in his sophomore year. So when it was announced he would try to make an NFL roster, I thought it was pretty far-fetched. The San Francisco 49ers selected him with the very last pick in the draft, which is commonly referred to as "Mr. Irrelevant." That was pretty cool, though! I never expected him to get drafted, yet there he was.

But would he ever even take a snap? Due to a few unfortunate injuries, he rose from third on the depth chart to eventually starting by default. And he won. Then he won again. And again. He just kept winning. By the end of the regular season, he was getting Rookie of the Year mentions and was solidly their starter for the playoffs. Again, he shined in the playoffs.....until he experienced a sad season-ending injury.

As this season approached, would he be physically ready to play? Even if he was, would he be their starter? Yes, he was ready, and yes, he did get the starting job. Then he just continued winning.....so much so that he was in the league MVP conversation for most of the season.

Last night, he became an NFC champ, and he's leading his team to the Super Bowl, where he'll face a KC Chiefs dynasty that's making their 4th Super Bowl appearance in 5 years.

Not many people (me included) believed in Brock Purdy. Yet, here he is. Here's the question I have today. Why not Brock Purdy? Better yet, why not me? Or better still, why not you?

Here's one thing I do know. If Brock Purdy didn't believe in himself, he wouldn't be here. He had the entire world trying to give him a participation trophy, but he knew something we didn't.

I think about people like him a lot. Why not them? Why not me? Why not you? It reminds me of a famous quote: "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right."

Whatever your thing is, just go for it! Sure, you might fail....or you might not. It could be nothing....or everything. Why not you?

This Can’t Be Everything

We had another amazing day at sea yesterday, which included a few hours in port in Falmouth, Jamaica. Lots of food, lots of swimming, and lots of adventures. This trip has been THE definition of relaxation (well, except for everything that goes into caring for two first graders). It's been absolutely wonderful, and I'm so very grateful for our opportunity to go on this trip together.

As I was in the hot tub yesterday afternoon, I overheard a group of twenty-somethings next to me. They, too, were thoroughly enjoying their cruise. One asked the others, "Wouldn't it be great just to live like this all the time?" They all agreed and started fantasizing about a life of perpetual relaxation, endless drinks, and a non-stop flow of delicious food.

I agree with them about how amazing this experience is, but I couldn't disagree more about making this life. This isn't life. This is something we do once in a while. This is a treat. It's a reward. It's a little luxury. But it's not a life. This can't be everything.

I can't wait to jump back on a cruise ship again one day, but I would never want it to be my life. There are too many more meaningful and impactful things we must accomplish. We can't live a life solely for ourselves. That's a purposeless and empty existence.

While we're on the subject, I can't wait to get back home and back to work. It's going to be wonderful. I have so many thoughts, ideas, and dreams that are ready to be unleashed. Stuffing it all down while I continue to live a life of leisure would be the selfish thing to do.

So I'm going to enjoy the heck out of these last few days, be excited to get back into the swing of work and life, and maybe even plan another vacation for the not-too-distant future.

Find ways to get away, relax, and live in temporary leisure. It's healthy for us, and it's a ton of fun. Go book that trip! But also know it's not everything. It can't be everything. We must find meaning and purpose, and lean into them each day.

Perhaps My Wife Should Leave Me

I recently stumbled into an online message board where people submit their monthly budgets for the broader group to provide feedback.

One person's budget included investing 55% of his monthly take-home income to "build wealth." The group loved it! "Way to go!" "Keep up the good work." "Your future is bright." He was lauded and applauded. Hundreds of comments poured in, ranging from congratulations to requests for advice.

Another person shared how he and his wife each bought new luxury cars and live in a mini-mansion in a prestigious gated community. The group loved it! "You earned it." "Enjoy the spoils of your labor." "That's a sign that you're a success." Some people put them on a pedestal. Some people wanted to know their secrets to winning. Others were jealous, but hopeful to one day be there as well.

Then there was another person. This was a middle-class family with an average income and a normal lifestyle. What caught my eye were a few giving categories in his budget. "Church giving," "xyz org giving," and a category that was clearly meant for people in need. He didn't highlight this in his post, but I did the math: his giving totaled approximately 18% of his monthly take-home income.

Do you think he was applauded like the two families above? Haha, of course not! He was utterly skewered. When I saw his budget, I knew exactly what the comments would look like. "You're an idiot." "Bible-beating moron." "Gullible sheep." Some people accused him of neglecting (or even abusing) his family. Some suggested his wife should leave him to find someone to care for his kids, not someone else's kids. 90% of the commenters agreed he was irresponsible and dumb.

I don't know what was going through that original poster's head as he saw the negative comments stream in. But if they know the secret I know, I hope they just sat back and smiled. Generosity always wins. Always. It's true that when we give money away, we have less money. That's a mathematical fact. This family will most likely have less money in the months, years, and decades to come. But they will be richer.....far richer. They will have more joy, more peace, more impact, more contentment, and more meaning. It's a trade-off. We can have the money, or we can have what really matters.

While getting absolutely destroyed by the commenters on that board, my prayer is that someone else was watching. Someone who knows deep down that generosity is the way. Someone who experiences our culture pushing him downstream, but has the urge to swim upstream. I hope this person was inspired by this man's post. Not just inspired, but enough to take action and eventually become the butt of everyone else's jokes.

I may be an idiot. I may be a "Bible-beating moron." I may be a gullible sheep. I may be neglecting my family. Perhaps my wife should leave me. Or maybe I just know a secret: generosity always wins.

“You’re Being Stupid”

While writing yesterday's post, I found myself reflecting on my current life vs. my previous life. Specifically, I remember one critical conversation with a close, trusted friend as I was on the verge of making the transition. "You're being stupid." Well, that wasn't the exact quote. The exact quote included an f-bomb in the middle......for emphasis, of course! Let's just say this friend thought I was making a life-altering mistake. I don't blame him, though. Taking a 90% pay cut to start your career over while trying to make ends meet may, in fact, qualify as "stupid." 

I wouldn't trade my current life for all the money in the world. The funny thing is, though, my life doesn't look anything like I drew it up on the playbook:

• I have a bunch of awesome coaching clients (that was the only part I knew I would do).

• People pay me to speak at their events (still weird to me!).

• I have the honor of sharing the Meaning Over Money message on podcasts and in my writing (one of the greatest honors of my life).

• I get the surprise privilege of partially owning and jointly operating a coffee company (that wasn't on my bucket list bingo card).

• I have a wonderful corporate client in Texas that I enjoy immensely.

• Though all these things take up a ton of time, I have a lot of flexibility to parent my boys and invest in them. 

In other words, I'm blessed beyond belief. It's easy to look back now and say my decision was the right thing to do. However, there were many times when it felt like the scariest thing in the world. Never mind all the people in my life who told me how terrible a decision I was making. "You're being a bad husband and father" was another fun comment made to me by a trusted friend. Ouch!

People's opinions matter. Their wisdom is valuable. We should seek out the insight of those we trust. Yes, all of those things. But ultimately, we need to make the best decision for our family......even if it's the opposite of what culture says is right. If I was feeling a bit more rowdy, I may even suggest, "especially if it's the opposite of what culture says is right." 

If you want what everyone else has, do what they do. If you want the opposite of what everyone else has, do the opposite. Ultimately, it comes down to values.....your values. 

I recently had a drink with my friend who told me I was stupid for leaving my career. We had a great time. Lots of reminiscing and lots of laughs. In the middle of the chat, he added, "You did the right thing." I'm not sure I needed that from him, but I think I needed that from him. Thanks, my man!

Follow meaning, even if it's hard. No, strike that. Especially if it's hard. 

“Am I Excited to Go Home?”

Last night, I was blessed with a chance airplane encounter with my awesome friends, Brett and Tracy (and family). They are on their way to a wonderful-sounding vacation at a tropical destination. That sounds pretty nice when contrasted with the weather we're about to experience here in the Midwest. While waiting for the plane to take off, I texted Tracy, jokingly asking her to give me some ideas for blog content she could enjoy at the pool each morning. She didn't take the bait……perhaps she doesn't want to spend her vacation absorbing random ideas from my brain. Today's post is written with her vacation in mind, though!

Vacations are an excellent barometer for life. Not the vacation itself, but rather one key question we should ask ourselves while we're in the midst of a beautiful trip. "Am I excited to go home?" If we're vacationing well, we should be creating lifelong memories, making bad (or shall I say good?) food choices, relaxing, and carving out new adventures. But at some point, it comes to an end. And when it does, we'll soon transition back to our normal day-to-day life. When that happens, what goes through your mind? Is it dread? Fear? Tolerance? Ambivalence? Anxiety? Stress? Pessimism? Or on the other side of the coin, is it excitement? Hope? Passion? Encouraged? Optimism? 

The answer can and should be telling. Let's say your answer to the question is positive. You're looking forward to going home and resuming life. If that's the case, congrats! You're winning! I don't even care what your life looks like, what you do for a living, how much money you have, or your status. If you look forward to going home and living your life, you've already won! Millions of people would be jealous of your life. 

If your answer to the question leans negative, it's time to look in the mirror. If we need to escape our life in order to get through our life, it's a sign that something needs to change. Yes, vacations should be amazing……but vacations aren't life. They are what we do when we temporarily pause life. And the consequence of pausing is that we eventually need to unpause. When we do, our life is still our life, and we are still us. That's the problem with vacations. They don't actually change anything. We can leave our life, but we can't escape it. Ultimately, we must live in the reality we've created for ourselves. 

If you have a negative answer, I have a few follow-up questions for you:

• What part(s) of your life triggers a negative response? Work? Family? Marriage? Finances? Friends? Other?

• What alternative reality would make you shift your answer from negative to positive?

• What changes can you immediately make to begin this shift?

Next time you're on a fun vacation, try this exercise. But warning: Once you look in the mirror and see the truth, you just may have to take action. And you'll be grateful you did!

Build-A-Memory

Yesterday was a big day in our house. Finn cashed in on a Christmas gift by creating his own Build-A-Bear stuffie. He was beaming, as any new stuffed animal father would be. It's safe to say that he'll be talking about this for years to come.

Do you know how much it costs to buy a Build-A-Bear stuffed animal? Far more than a stuffed animal should cost. In many cases, 3-4x what you'd typically pay for a similar stuffed animal. It's wild.

However (and this is a big however), you aren't really buying a stuffed animal. Sure, you walk out of the store with a cute little stuffie. But that's not what you're actually buying. Build-A-Bear is in the memory-selling business. Every part of the experience (from the moment you walk into their store until the moment you walk out) is a curated experience to create a lasting memory. From the selection of the body, filling it with stuffing, to the little heart-insertion ceremony, to the accessorization, each part of the sequence builds upon the prior.

People can criticize Build-A-Bear all they want, but that company understands something vitally important. Their value proposition is far more than the physical object they are selling. That's why they can sell so many units at a staggering price. They know who they are, they know who they serve, they how to serve them, and they know what they are selling them.

My wife recently had a similar experience. My gift to her was one of those necklaces you design, and they literally fuse it onto your body. It doesn't come off. It's permanent. The only way to remove it is to cut it off. She chose a simple chain with three birthstones: September (the month Finn and Pax were born), October (the month they became part of our family), and June (the month their adoption was finalized in court). Similar to the stuffie, Sarah's necklace cost more than you'd anticipate. Also similar to the stuffie, this company understands they aren't in the necklace-selling business. They are in the legacy business. They help women create pieces that will theoretically be attached to them for the rest of their lives. There's a special sentiment in that process. That's what people are really buying.

What are you really selling? We're all selling something. We all wake up each morning and do something with our time. Those actions and that work can provide something meaningful. Maybe you sell coffee like my friend TJ. Or maybe you train basketball players like my friend Anna. Or maybe you sell insurance like my friend Ben. Or maybe you raise your kids like my wife Sarah.

Whatever you do, look one layer deeper. What are you really selling? Instead of coffee, TJ really sells smiles and hospitality. Instead of training, Anna helps young ladies develop confidence. Instead of insurance, Ben really sells peace of mind. Instead of "just staying home" (I hate that phrase!), Sarah is molding the next generation of leaders.

Sell what matters.

What’s Your Non-Resolution?

In yesterday's post, I disparaged the idea of New Year's resolutions, referring to them as a shinier version of a wish. Instead, I proposed that we ought to set a target outcome, and then focus 100% of our attention on the small things that contribute to achieving said objective. I used the idea of paying off a bunch of debt. Instead of simply saying, "I'm going to pay off $18,000 of debt this year," I walked through the small things that will actually lead to this goal being accomplished. 

After ranting about that topic yesterday, it begs the question, what do you want to achieve this year? What are your non-resolutions? What are a few things that matter to you? What are your objectives? I'd love to hear what's on your mind. Everyone has their own unique set of goals and objectives, and I'm infinitely fascinated by each person's. If you're willing, I'd be honored if you hit reply to the e-mail (if you're a subscriber) or hit the comment button if you're on the website, and tell me what yours are.

But if I'm going to ask you yours, I suppose I should share mine! Here are a few of the things I'd like to accomplish in 2024:

• Continue to build my coaching/speaking/consulting business to the point that its income consistently pays for my family's monthly budget. Over the past 4.5 years (more so in the early years), I’ve needed to supplement our income through other investments and businesses. 

• Increase our blog readership by 1,000+ new readers. If you're ever inclined, it would mean the world to me if you share the blog (or specific posts that move the needle for you). 

• Increase our podcast listenership by 2x. 

• Publish a book (more on this to come soon).

• Speak at approximately four national conferences.

Each of these five goals feels daunting, but focusing on the small behaviors, habits, and actions, can lead to big things. Ultimately, I just want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to have an impact on this world. I'm not sure I'll change the world, but I do believe I can make a positive difference in the journeys of people who will most certainly go on to change the world. That's my dream. That's my why. That's what gets me out of bed each morning. 

What about you? What's on your agenda for 2024?

That’s a Lot of Life

Happy last day of 2023. Is it just me, or does it seem like life moves progressively faster as we age? I blinked and the year was gone. In the past, I would be surprised by this. Anymore, however, I just expect it. 

With that being said, something happened yesterday that gave me a different perspective. One of our readers asked me a question about something I previously wrote about. In an effort to find said content, I started flipping back through old posts. I eventually found what I was looking for, but by that point, I was having fun looking back on some of our old posts. 

Here's my conclusion. Though life moves fast, there's a lot of life being lived. 365 posts in 365 days is wild. I still can't wrap my head around it. But as I was poking around some of the old posts (and the scale of it all), I was struck by how many people, stories, and situations were involved. Posts I don't remember writing. People that made a difference in my life. Stories that I had somewhat forgotten. Situations that changed me. That's a lot of life.

As I reflect on the year coming to a close and another about to unfold, a few thoughts come to mind:

• Every day is an opportunity to mean something. Some days mean more than others, but all days can have meaning. 

• Never take for granted the people who intersect our lives. Some stay for years, while some stay for just a moment.

• Make an impact. We don't need to change the world. Instead, we just make a positive difference. We never know how a small act can spiral into massive impact. 

• Document the journey. Whether you journal, blog, YouTube, podcast, or any number of creative outlets, document it. For as insightful as it was flipping back through posts from the past 365 days, just imagine how crazy it will be reading them 20 years from now. If I can convince you of one thing, it's to document your journey. If you don't do it for you, do it for others. And if you're like me, maybe some of the "others" are your children. It's one of the best gifts we can ever give our kids. 

Whether your life was filled with amazing blessings or a ton of pain (or likely a mix of both), a lot of life was most certainly lived in 2023. I can't wait to see what next year will bring. The best is yet to come. Happy New Year everyone!

What He Said!

When I open my laptop to start writing each day, I often don't know what the blog will be about. And sometimes, the creativity doesn't just automatically stream from my fingers. I suppose that will occasionally happen if I'm committed to writing 365 days per year. Today is one of those days. So I did the first thing I always do when I need to find a spark: scroll social media. I never know what I will see, but I 100% know I'll be inspired by something I come across. And man, was today's ever inspirational!

As I was flipping through Twitter (sorry, I can't call it X), I saw something my guy Elliott Frey shared. It was a postgame interview with Arizona defensive player Martell Irby, who had won the Alamo Bowl moments prior. Here's the video. It's only 2 minutes long, and I couldn't recommend it enough.

🥲 pic.twitter.com/qvCTChNTSU

— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) December 29, 2023

This clip sums up nearly everything I believe in. It's an absolutely beautiful witness and testimony of the pursuit of meaning. These 114 seconds are packed with so much:

• Faith

• Persistence

• Redemption

• Gratitude

• The importance of community

• Humility

• Living in the present

• Work ethic

• Love

• Determination

• Patience

I feel like this is where I should elaborate on his words, providing context and adding value.....or maybe throw in something witty. Truth is, there's nothing I can add to make this better. I don't know Martell. Scratch that, I don't even know anything about Martell other than what these two minutes told me. But I can tell you one thing: This man's gravitational pull makes you want to be around him. It's contagious. It's vulnerable, and it's genuine. It's all about meaning. 

So instead of trying to find something clever or valuable to say, I just have one thing: What he said!

Expectations vs. Reality

Do you ever script out, in your mind, how something will go? What it will look like, feel like, and be like? There's a specific vision in your mind, with an anticipation of it all playing out just as you planned? Oh cool, me, too! And just like clockwork, it rarely goes according to plan. That can be such a defeating feeling.

This was my Christmas day. It didn't look or feel like I imagined it in my head. You know what's crazy, though? For the first time ever, I went in with an anticipation that my perfect little vision probably wouldn't materialize. Some may call it pessimism. Others may call it experience. I call it growth. In years past, I would find myself getting pretty sad when my little vision melted as reality set in.

Most of our Christmas day was spent as a party of three, as Sarah spent most of the day in bed with a brutal sinus infection. I felt terrible for her. Also, instead of a white Christmas, we received an odd 50-degree Christmas day. That sounds possibly fun, except for the fact it rained all day. The boys and I saw the new Wonka movie at the theater. About 15 minutes in, the screen went black, where it would stay for about 30 minutes. After getting it running again and adjusting the timestamp of the movie a few times (resulting in us seeing the same parts multiple times), it went from a two-hour movie to a three-hour experience.

Nothing went quite as expected. But it was still an amazing day! I knew it would look different than I had hoped for, and that's ok. I was ready to embrace it for whatever it is, and create memories with the kids nonetheless. And that we did. It could have been a huge letdown, but we thoroughly enjoyed our little tainted Christmas. We lived in the present and enjoyed our time together.

I think our Christmas is a parallel to much of life. It's rarely going to go as we hope, so we have two options: a) lament the fact reality isn't matching our expectations, or b) continue to see it through, embracing whatever plays out in front of us. It's going to be messy, frustrating, chaotic, and a roller-coaster. We can wish for something different, but we can't wish away reality. All we can do is expect the unexpected, savor whatever comes, and always decide to make lemonade when it's raining lemons.

I hope you had the absolute most perfect day ever, but in the likely event you didn't, I hope you embraced and savored your very imperfect Christmas day, too. Today won't be perfect. Tomorrow won't be, either. That's ok, though! Embrace whatever comes your way.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! No, I'm not talking about Frosty. I never really understood that part (3 times!) when Frosty blurted out "Happy Birthday" to himself. Also, was his memory wiped each time his magic hat was removed? Anyway, enough with the Frosty tangent.

Today is a big day. I love Christmas. I love the movies, lights, foods, decor, traditions, and music.....all of it. It's the one time of year I feel the intentional nudge to slow down. But today is another big event. It's Jesus's birthday! Amidst all the typical Christmas celebrations and traditions this time of year, in our house we try to always point the focus back to the real meaning of Christmas: Jesus.

He may be the only human in history who, instead of receiving gifts, brought the gift.....the ultimate gift. He was born among us so he could sacrifice himself for us. If you're a Christian, please don't let this get lost in all the fun and celebration today. As for us, we'll have a typical Christmas day. Presents, movies, food, and NBA games (of course!). But we'll also take a moment to place a few candles in cupcakes (or Little Debbie tree cakes based on what I'm seeing in our pantry) and sing Happy Birthday to the one worth celebrating. It's a fun little way to pause, remember, and refocus on what this season is all about.

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you have the most wonderful day.

We Can’t Have Special Without Boring

Let's be honest. Most days are normal (i.e. boring). We wake up in the same place, eat the same food, do the same things, see the same people.....and repeat. I'm not knocking it, as I'm a creature of habit, but it's true. Yesterday, though, was a different day. I enjoyed some coffee on the couch with the family, knocked out some year-end business admin work, played Madden with Pax, went to Northern Vessel for some delicious drinks, took the kids outdoor ice skating, went snail shopping (weird development), grabbed take-out pizza, and finished the night by watching the Grinch.

Not all days are created equal. Something about yesterday really got to me. While most days fly by and are gone before I know it, I found myself savoring the little moments yesterday. It felt different. It felt special.

It would be easy to wish every day to be like yesterday; it can't be. The normal of life is what makes those special days special. If every day were special, then no day would be special. That's why we shouldn't overlook or demean our normal, day-to-day life. It's the normal that creates the special. That's why going out to a nice restaurant is special.....because it's not normal. If we went to a nice restaurant every night, it would just be called dinner.

This, in part, is what makes the Christmas season so meaningful. We wait, and wait, and wait, all year, until it finally arrives. It's the anticipation. It's the wait. It's the scarcity. Then finally, it's here!

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! I hope you have a special day filled with special memories. And remember, these types of days are only special because of the normal life we get to live. Embrace the normal and be grateful for it. That's what lays the foundation for the special.

Have an amazing day!

Expensive vs. Priceless

We had a debacle in our house last night. When I arrived home from work, I walked into a disaster. Pax had lost his most treasured possession. You know, that one toy that brings a kid comfort. Most of us had one. It's the toy he always has with him when he's home. THE toy. Well, it was gone. We practically tore the house apart trying to find it. Alas, we did eventually find it.....in the most ridiculous place. His carelessness almost bit him.

The entire situation got me thinking about something. We live in a culture that tells us to covet, protect, and respect the expensive things in our lives. Cars, phones, jewelry, new shoes....the list could go on and on. We must take care of them.....with our life! Why? Because they are expensive. Expensive things must be honored. After all, money is the most important thing, right?

Conversely, there are things in our life that are priceless. Photos, videos, mementos, sentimental items, sensitive documents, etc. These things aren't necessarily worth much money, which is the problem. Since they aren't expensive, we sometimes value them differently. We don't protect and respect these things the same way. We're a bit loose with our handling and care of them. But it's impossible to replace them, no matter the cost.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have something expensive stolen, lost, or broken than lose a cheap but priceless item. This almost happened to us last week. We had a scare with Finn's new glasses. For a brief moment, it appeared he had lost them. Replacing them woudl have cost $400-$500. It was frustrating for sure, but I would much rather lose those glasses than lose one of my priceless items.

I frequently hear stories from people about how xyz priceless item was destroyed. Things happen, and sometimes our priceless items are tragically lost. However, I propose that one of the reasons this happens is because we're spending more time protecting and respecting the expensive things in our lives than the priceless things. We simply overlook them, and then lousy luck takes them out.

Pax's situation was a humbling reminder that we need to keep our priorities straight and realize what's most important. I've fallen short in this area at times, and I bet you have, too. One of my next steps is to inventory the priceless things in my life. I suspect there are gaps in how I care for and protect some of these possessions. Once I recognize where some of my deficiencies might be, it's time to correct them. I hope you do the same.

Expensive things can be replaced, for a price. Priceless things can't, no matter the price.

Sunburns vs. Landfills

I ran into a friend at church on Sunday who I hadn't seen in a while. As we were standing next to each other in the coffee line, he noted, "My wife quoted you the other day." Intrigued, I had to hear more. He shared how they were contemplating going on a tropical getaway after the holidays. The trip would cost a nice chunk of change, so it was anything but a no-brainer decision. Ultimately, though, they pulled the trigger. Why? "Meaning over money!" Yes! I love this!

When we buy a car, we have a car. When we buy a phone, we have a phone. When we buy a shirt, we have a shirt. But trips are weird. When we buy a trip, we have nothing. There's literally nothing to show for it. The money is gone, and we are empty-handed upon our return. Some may perceive this as the world's biggest ripoff.

However, let's fast-forward a decade. That car is in a landfill. That phone is in a landfill. That shirt is in a landfill. All our junk is in a landfill. But the trip? We still have nothing, but we have everything. The memories are priceless. The memories will last a lifetime. Nothing can take away our memories. Over time, the stories and photos will be passed down to the next generation. Meanwhile, our junk will be fully decomposed and turned into dust.

In the battle of sunburns vs. landfills, I'll take the sunburns every single time. Yeah, there are probably a few things I'd love to have that will someday be in a landfill, but investing in memories will always take precedence.

Memories over stuff. Sunburns over landfills. Meaning over money. I hope you go on that trip!

The Journey, Not the Destination

I returned home last night after being on the road for 16 of the last 17: KC to Houston to Minneapolis to Midland. I'm beat! It's been a great couple of weeks, but I'm ready to be home for the holidays.

As I've been traveling these past few weeks, combined with the reflection that naturally comes with the Thanksgiving holiday, I can't help but think about how weird this journey called life can be. It's full of twists and turns, ups and downs, with countless roadblocks and pleasant surprises along the way. When we're young, we're naive enough to think we're in control of the journey. We plan our steps and hilariously (in hindsight) believe it will go just as we anticipate.

Truth is, the journey is messy. It can be a struggle filled with pain, suffering, waiting, and frustration. If there's one thing for sure, our journey will go nothing like we originally anticipated. In some ways, this is sad. After all, our dreams are huge and important. But herein lies the beauty of life. All the stumbling blocks, detours, and pain are what make this journey rich.

None of the work, mission, or fun I participated in these last 17 days was even a thought in my head just five years ago. Heck, most of this didn't exist just one year ago. That's the beauty of the journey.

Just like a long road trip in the car, we must have a target destination in mind. That shows us the direction we should be driving. However, what happens between the origin and the destination makes the trip. It's about the journey, not the destination. When cruising down the highway, we might see something off in the horizon that looks interesting. So we decide to explore. Maybe it's cool, and maybe it sucks....but we don't know until we check it out. But regardless of the outcome, it likely adds to the experience. Then, as we get back on the road, Google Maps helps us reorient and continue toward our intended destination. We can always program a new intended destination, but until we do, we'll continue to journey in our planned direction, enjoying the little detours along the way.

I promise you I'm not making good time on the road trip of life, but these detours and side missions sure add a richness to the experience. It would be easy to lament not getting to my destination quicker. If that were my measuring stick, I suppose you could call me a massive failure. Yes, the destination is important, but it just may be the least important piece to all of this. It's about the journey, not the destination.

I hope you have an awesome journey today!

Hold Onto Your Traditions....Loosely

All week, I've been excited to watch Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, the best Thanksgiving movie ever created. Watching it on Thanksgiving night is one of my favorite traditions! As such, I became progressively more excited as Thanksgiving night neared. But then, in a sick twist, my sister-in-law disgustingly suggested we watch a different movie. But never fear, Travis, it's "kinda like Planes, Trains, & Automobiles." It wasn't. Not even close. With the snap of her fingers, my dream died. If you've never seen the greatest Thanksgiving movie ever created, here's a little taste of what you (and now I) missed.

Needless to say, I was bummed. After all, it's a tradition! Despite having my little dream crushed, it was a great Thanksgiving day. Lots of food (thanks to my sister-in-law’s ridiculous abilities), lots of backyard football (with limited injuries), lots of live sports on TV (go Cyclones!), and lots of fun. But no John Candy causing mass chaos while simultaneously melting our hearts.

Traditions add a richness to our life. They take otherwise regular days and events, and turn them into something special. I'm a tradition guy. Sometimes, after doing something just once, I'll declare it a tradition. Whoa, this pizza place is great! It's our new family tradition to come here!

But just as important as traditions are, we can't rigidly live our lives in a way that we're enslaved to them. Our traditions serve us, not the other way around. Sometimes, we need to be flexible with our traditions. Other times, we need to let an old tradition fade away. When we do, it doesn't demean the tradition. It doesn't cheapen what the tradition means (or meant) to us.

This was a hard lesson for me. I found myself mourning the loss of some traditions, and the whiffing of others. It turned something that was supposed to add richness to my life, and morphed it into a negative.

Yeah, I'm bummed we missed out on one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions last night, but it didn't hinder my day. I cherish this tradition, but I also hold it loosely. You best believe I'll be excited to try again next year, though! In the meantime, our family may have a few new traditions to add to the mix.

Enjoy those traditions, but hold onto them loosely.