Turn Normal On Its Head

A while back, I saw some social media posts about how Twenty One Pilots did something wild during one of their shows. While performing one of their new songs (which they play every night), lead singer Tyler Joseph, accompanied by a small entourage of camera operators and grips, meandered through the pit while performing the song. If you're not familiar, the pit is the group of people standing immediately in front of the stage. They are often the rowdiest fans, and as a standing-only section, they can get congested and unruly. People jockeying for position, people trying to navigate to their desired location, people looking for the best camera angle or access to the performer.

For international superstars, the mere idea of entering the pit is a scary endeavor. Yet, for years, Twenty One Pilots has engaged directly with their pit fans. At least once per show, Josh Dun, the drummer, sits atop the pit fans while they hold a platform, a drum kit, and Josh above their heads (that takes trust!).

Also, in the final song of this tour's show, both Tyler and Josh have platforms wheeled into the middle of the pit, where they play their iconic song Trees, surrounded by their most loyal fans. It's a sight to behold.

To my delight, I recently turned on YouTube and was greeted with a new music video. They released a video for the song Routines In The Night, featuring all the new pit footage they recently recorded. It's a fun video, and I highly recommend you check it out!

No, this post isn't just for me to rant about Twenty One Pilots. It brings one specific idea to mind. I absolutely love how they turn normal on its head. Normal is to separate themselves from the pit. Normal is to just perform the regular way. Normal is to simply do what everyone else is doing. Instead, they are turning normal on its head and carving out new ways to approach their craft.

When we started the podcast, dozens of people told me, "You can't do a podcast without interviews. Nobody wants to listen to one person talk." That's exactly what we did, and it's been beautiful.

When I started this blog, countless people told me, "You can't send people e-mails every day. Nobody will read that! Just send them one thing per week and call it good." I ignored them, and you all received me with arms wide open. 70% of you read the blog every single day, and I never take that for granted.

When I left my prior career and our family took a 90% pay cut, many people told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Yes, it's been a difficult journey, but one of the most beautiful ones I could ever have imagined.

I so much appreciate when people are willing to turn normal on its head and carve a new path. I hope you receive this as encouragement to do the same in your journey. Don't get stuck by what the world says is the right way to do things. Sometimes, you need to rip up the blueprint and start afresh!

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None of Us Really Know What We're Doing

I had a fantastic meeting with two women yesterday who are interested in starting a business. They are each accomplished in their own right and carry themselves with a strong sense of calling and purpose. The passion they have for their work and prospective business is palpable.

As we dove into some of the particulars of starting and running a business, I could tell one of the women was a bit self-conscious about her business acumen. She's absolutely brilliant and successful at her craft, but the business side of things is new-ish to her. Sensing how she felt about this, I added the following regarding business owners: "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

I hadn't actually thought about that until it escaped my mouth, but it's so true! Business owners know nothing....until they know something. And the only way they know something is by doing something they didn't know how to do. It's the ultimate in discomfort. Even Elon Musk, one of the greatest business people of our time, has done everything in his career for the first time at one point or another.

I think most business owners would share the same sentiment if willing to be honest and humble. None of this is easy, but it gets easier as we gain experience. Discomfort turns into experience, which unlocks new discomforts. It's a beautiful, terrible cycle. It's not for everyone, but I love it so much.

I think this woman needed to hear that yesterday, and I suspect some of you do as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't know what you don't know, and there's only one way to change that.

I couldn't be more excited about the ideas these two women shared with me. The potential impact is great, and the passion is real. I have no idea where they will take this, but wherever it goes, I'll absolutely be cheering them on every step of the way!

Please don't be afraid to meet the world with what you currently have to offer. You're better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow, you'll be better than you were today. "Don't worry. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just in different stages of figuring it out."

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Lessons From a Second-Grader

I remember the first summer league open gym I hosted for Finn and Pax's team this summer. For most (if not all) of these kids, this was their first club basketball experience. Some had played some version of Parks and Recreation before, but this was different. Besides, they were seven-year-olds who just finished first grade a few weeks prior. I think my first ever organized sport might have been fourth-grade basketball, so this was young young.

One particular kid looked anxious. I could tell this was all new to him, and it didn't necessarily come naturally to him. But it was clear he wanted to give it his best effort, which he absolutely did. After practice wrapped up, he approached me: "Coach, what's one thing I did good, and one thing I can work on before next practice?"

I was floored! I wasn't expecting anything like this to happen, so he caught me off-guard. I thought for a minute and provided the most constructive feedback possible. As we walked into the gym a few days later, he approached me again. "I've been working on xyz like you told me." Sure enough, I could tell he had already grown in that area. After practice, he pulled me aside and asked the same question as the prior practice. One thing he did good, and one thing he can work on. I wasn't expecting him to do it again, but I wasn't as flat-footed with my answer this time.

He's asked me the same two questions every single time we've played ball together.....maybe 20 times now. Funny thing, I now think about his two questions as the night progresses, anticipating that moment. Without fail, he seeks me out after practice. I owe him sincere feedback, and I always provide it to him.

Want to know how powerful this is? He's probably grown more as a player these last five months than any kid out there. He sincerely internalizes all of my feedback and works to implement it. He's tremendously coachable, and I love that about him. Today, he doesn't appear anxious when he steps onto the court. He has confidence and a determination about him. I'm excited to see him play in his first game on Saturday. It's going to be a cool experience, and I have no doubt he'll continue to get better each and every time he steps onto the court.

I think we should all approach life like this young man, with curiosity and a sincere desire to grow. To make ourselves vulnerable for the hard-to-hear feedback. Not for the purpose of dragging us down, but rather to help us climb higher. There's no doubt I'd be better at so many things in life if I had the courage to take his approach.

Maybe it's time for me (and you) to start asking the hard questions. If we do, I suspect we'll grow and improve far more than we ever have. It's always humbling to be taught lessons by young kids, but then again, we all have so much to learn.

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First, Do It Poorly

I was sitting in a crowded bar with a buddy, each of us sipping on an old fashioned. We were casually chatting about football. Can the Cyclones run the table? Are the Bears actually decent? How do the Chiefs keep ripping off wins despite a growing number of injuries? 

Then, without notice, his demeanor changed. He became much more serious, almost sad. He confessed that he and his wife have struggled with money for many years. Or, as he put it, "neither one of us is any good with money." I had lots of questions:

"Do you two budget?" 

"No. Never have."

"Are you investing?"

"No. We don't know how."

"Are you giving?"

"Not a chance."

"Do you save money each month?"

"No. We live paycheck to paycheck."

"Do you talk to each other about finances?"

"Never."

The theme was clear. They aren't good at these things, so they simply don't do them. They've opted out, citing incompetence.

It reminds me of Finn and Pax's basketball team, a bunch of second-grade boys. I started working with these boys early in the summer; they were terrible! Well, in their defense, they were seven and had barely ever played before. It was all new to them. Dribbling. Passing. Shooting. Defense. Rebounding. Picking. Many could barely get the ball up to the hoop. 

Today, though, they are so much better! They seem much more confident on the court. They have a better feel for the game. They understand the principles. Their first game is next weekend, and I'm so excited to see how it goes. Will they win? No idea. But I do know one thing: they are far better today than when we started playing in June.

Here's a concept that applies to all areas of life: First, we must do it poorly. Then, we get to do it ok. Later, we get to become good. Eventually, we have the opportunity to be great. But it all starts with our willingness to be terrible.

These little boys don't understand this concept....they are little boys. But that's exactly what's happening. Each practice, they try, and fail.....try, and fail again. Little by little, they go from being terrible to being ok, then good, and maybe one day great. It's all part of the journey.

There's no world in which one of these little boys walks up to me and says, "Well, I'm not as good as Steph Curry, so I might as well quit." That would be insane. Yet, we adults do it every day. If we don't know how to do something, we simply concede we've lost that battle. Instead, let's endeavor to do it poorly. Budget poorly. Invest poorly. Give poorly. Save poorly. Communicate poorly. Doing it poorly is the gateway to great. But don't opt out! Don't take your ball and go home. Have the courage of my seven-year-olds. Be willing to fail. Be willing to be bad. Be willing to get a little better each day.

First, do it poorly.

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Owning Non-Excellence

Irony is best served cold. Yesterday, I talked about how the bar has never been lower. People and businesses are underperforming at an astronomical pace, and we've never seen such an opportunity to meet the market with excellence to excel (with our respective careers or businesses).

Then mere hours later, I performed a masterclass in non-excellence by letting three separate people down: a client, a blog reader, and a fellow board member. Three whiffs, three embarrassments, three regrets. Several factors played into my mistakes, including my new agonizing back injury and technical issues. However, while it would be easy for me to make excuses for these mistakes, there was one common theme in each of them: Me!

The truth is, it doesn't matter what caused the mistakes. The mistakes happened.....period. Passing the blame to some other reason, whether valid or not, doesn't undo the mistake. Therefore, it's my duty to take full responsibility for my non-excellence. There is no other path forward.

In an endeavor to be excellent, there will be non-excellence. It's just going to happen. But what are we going to do with it? Justify it? Excuse it? Blame others? Try to pretend it didn't happen? I hate all of those options. For me, the only reasonable and honoring option is to sincerely apologize, make it right, and endeavor to do better going forward.

That's the only path to excellence. Another way I try to think about it is I'm in the business of getting it right, not being right. If I'm wrong, my obligation to my clients, friends, and colleagues is to get it right; and getting it right starts with taking ownership of the non-excellence.

We must do this personally, and we must do it professionally. It hurts to look in the mirror and realize I'm 100% to blame for something (as I did three times yesterday). But it hurts worse going to bed at night knowing I tried to wiggle out of a mess caused by my own hands. I'll take that slice of humble pie every day of the week.

Today, I plan to be excellent. Will I accomplish it without fail? Probably not. But I'm going to give it my best shot. And WHEN I fall short, I'm going to sincerely apologize, make it right, and hopefully learn from it.

One percent better every day.

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The Bar Has Never Been Lower

"The bar has never been lower."

• TJ Rude, Founder of Northern Vessel

I hear this from TJ at least once per week. It's a commentary on the state of business in our modern times. Businesses today are riddled with poor product quality, inconsistency, bad customer service, and a lack of hospitality. The bar has never been lower. If a business gives us a half-decent product in a moderately reasonable timeframe, and they don't treat us like garbage in the process, we act as though they are wonderful. The bar has never been lower.

I dealt with many businesses during my Minneapolis trip this weekend. Retailers, restaurants, hotels, and venues. The majority were bleh. Poor quality. Inconsistent, Terrible service. Practically no hospitality. I repeatedly watched businesses treat people like dirt and sell them inferior products. The bar has never been lower.

One of my favorite hobbies is to read the comments on restaurant reviews in local Facebook forums. Almost all towns have these FB pages. People found a sharp piece of metal in their salad. The food came out cold. The manager screamed at them. The food didn't arrive for an hour. The restaurant snuck in a secret fee or overrode the tip. Without fail, the commenters blame the customer for not addressing these issues directly with the restaurant. There's almost always another comment about how all restaurants "have an off day." Oh yeah, we also need to include the obligatory comment about how we can't expect anything better because wages are so low. We continually justify and defend terrible. The bar has never been lower.

While there are a lot of components that go into running a successful business, or having a successful career, it's also simple, too. Provide a good product, be consistent, offer good service, and do it with a spirit of hospitality. The bar has never been lower.

One of my friends is far more successful than either of us thought he would be. He didn't create anything world-changing. He sells a simple product. It's nothing special, and I'd argue his competitors have a better product. But he's consistent, he offers great service, and he practices hospitality. People want to work with him. Customers are drawn to him. It's simple! The bar has never been lower.

I hope you think about this as you engage in whatever work is on your plate today. Think about this motto: The bar has never been lower. If that's true, you have an opportunity to stand out! You have a chance to rise above the crowd. Be excellent! Serve others well! Show people to expect better!

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Right Thing, Right Reasons

When I left my prior career and started my coaching business, I promised myself I would always be honest with people. If I could serve them well, I’d tell them. But if I wasn’t the right person for the job, I also needed to share that. I refer to it as doing the right thing for the right reason. It’s not uncommon to meet with a person or a couple and, for one reason or another, know I’m not the right person to serve them. Sometimes it’s a stylistic difference. Sometimes they aren’t fully bought in. Somtimes they don’t want it bad enough. Sometimes they need something different than what I offer. And sometimes, they simply don’t need me at all. 

This idea reminds me of one particular conversation. It was a couple nearing retirement, with kids grown and living their own lives. As we unpacked their situation and questions, I immediately knew they shouldn’t hire me. They were killing it! They had made so many wise choices over the years, and it showed. During that conversation, I was able to give them a few tips, make a few recommendations/referrals, and affirm so much of what they were already doing. I ended the conversation with something to the effect of, “I would be honored to serve you, but if I were you, I wouldn’t hire me. You’re not going to get your money’s worth.” I’m not trying to hurt myself, but I so much believe in doing the right thing for the right reasons. They shouldn’t have hired me…..and they didn’t!

But something happened. I ended up serving one of their grown kids (plus spouse). I cherish that coaching relationship, and this young couple is doing some amazing work. I’m so grateful I get to help add value to their lives. Oh yeah, another thing happened as well. The man I told not to hire me, he and I have become friends. I deeply value his input and insights. He’s a funny guy with an infectious zest for life. He has more life wisdom and experience in his pinky than I have in my entire body. I learn from him about parenting, marriage, careers, and meaning. All this because of one stranger-meets-stranger conversation; a conversation in which I told him not to hire me.

Never underestimate the power of doing the right thing for the right reasons. The right thing is always the right thing. This applies to money, work, ministry, relationships, parenting, and everywhere else! You might not immediately benefit from it, but you’ll ALWAYS win in the long run. 

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I Just Wanna Play Football

I’m thoroughly enjoying my time in Mongolia. The meetings have been fruitful, the relationships rich, and the experiences seared into my memory forever. But for some reason, I can’t quit thinking about the following story.

I often reflect on a particular conversation I had years ago with a bunch of my high school youth group kids. I don't remember the overarching topic of the conversation, but I pulled out a normal-to-me question: "What do you want to do when you're an adult?" The kids around me were a mix of guys and girls, primarily athletes (basketball, volleyball, and football players). I received many to-be-expected answers; teachers, engineers, doctors, veterinarians, etc. Then, one of the guys says, "I just wanna play football." While he was a clearly a stud athlete, he was also the smallest guy in his crew that day. A couple of his buddies snickered at his answer. They weren't laughing AT him or mocking him by any means, but his answer seemed far-fetched. 

A few years later, he was blessed with an opportunity to take his talents to a major D1 football program. He didn't get a full scholarship in his first year, but he made the team! When I asked him what he hoped for, he immediately answered, "I just wanna play." Simple enough. And play he did! If my memory serves me right, an early-season in-game injury to one of his teammates allowed him an opportunity to show his stuff. Turns out, his stuff was pretty good. The rest is history. 

A few weeks ago, he became the first white starting cornerback in the NFL since 2002. I don't usually focus too much on race (especially in sport), but that's an absurd and wild statistic. Not one white dude has started at cornerback in the NFL since Jason Seahorn started 22 years ago! Not only did Riley start, but he's absolutely crushing it. He had 12 tackles in a single game…..as a cornerback! His name is Riley Moss, and he plays for the Denver Broncos. From the Ankeny Centennial Jaguars, to the Iowa Hawkeyes, to the Denver Broncos. Awesome story!

I don't have a close relationship with Riley, but I admire his journey from afar. It's so fun watching people just go for it. Our culture says to lower our expectations and just settle in for something normal, safe, and practical. Yet, here's a young man who had a big dream and kept moving forward. There's probably a world where he doesn't make the NFL; an unfortunate break, an untimely injury, or a missed opportunity. But had that happened, Riley could at least look back at his journey with no regrets. No woulda, shoulda, couldas. 

This really isn't about becoming a professional athlete, or rich, or famous, or powerful. It's about giving yourself permission to dream, and then going for it. The courage to fight our prevailing culture and take the path less traveled. To block out what the world says, and just leave it all on the field, as they say. 

I wish Riley nothing but the best. I hope he accomplishes everything he pursues. It's not going to be an easy journey, and he will most certainly face pain, suffering, and challenges. But it will be a beautiful journey, regardless.

I wish the same for you!

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How to Avoid Failure and Criticism

Guys, lean in. Lean in close. A little further. I'm whisper typing. Do you want to know how to avoid failure and criticism? If so, today is your lucky day. It involves two very simple steps. Here you go:

1. Do nothing.

2. Say nothing.

You're welcome!

Ok, back to my normal typing volume. What I just said is 100% true. If you really want to avoid failure and criticism, simply do nothing. People will most certainly leave you alone if you endeavor to accomplish nothing. In fact, you might even be applauded for it by some people in your life. You know, the ones who will feel validated by their own inaction.

This formula is simple, and it stands the test of time. If you try to do something or say something, you will inevitably be ridiculed. However, if you just keep quiet and focus only on yourself, you can possibly avoid the wrath of others.

What path do you prefer? Here's my answer: Give me the wrath every day of the week. If the cost of making a difference is the sharp knife of judgment, I guess I'll take the cuts.

On the heels of losing a particular platform and voice, a trusted friend asked if it made me want to quit. After thinking about it briefly, I responded, "No, it makes me want to double down on my efforts. The mission is too great."

I thought I'd stop failing and getting criticized; I didn't.

I thought I'd get used to criticism and failure; I didn't.

I thought this entire thing would get easier; it didn't.

Some of you are feeling the exact same way. So today, my job is to tell you to keep going. If you're failing and/or getting criticized, it means you're doing something. That's not a stain, but rather a badge of honor. Wear it well.

You can easily avoid failure and criticism—that option is on the table. Alternatively, you can dive head-first into them. I hope you choose the latter today!

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Growing Into It, Not Out of It

Over the years, I've come to understand a universal understanding about budgeting: It's something you do when money is tight, and then eventually grow out of it. It manifests through various comments:

"My kid doesn't make much; they need to budget."

"We make a lot more than we used to, so we stopped budgeting."

"I make plenty of money now, so budgeting is pointless."

I probably hear a variation of this comment at least once per week. To me, it's one of the biggest misunderstandings about budgeting. Actually, I do think income and the need for budgeting are correlated......but the opposite of conventional wisdom. The more money someone makes, the greater the need to budget.

I'll use two examples to illustrate this point:

• Family A: This family has a limited income. Finances are tight, and most of their income goes toward needs and debt. When they budget, the primary objective is to ensure there's enough income to meet these basic needs.

• Family B: This family has a stout income. Their needs are met, and a bunch of discretionary income remains. They don't "need" to budget.....they are fine. However, without a budget, there's a high likelihood that they squander their opportunity to give, save, invest, and spend on things that add value. Without a budget, their impulses and lack of intentionality will waste much of their upside. But with a budget, the sky's the limit.

Family A has a narrower range of outcomes. During this season of life, money is going to feel tight. The difference between budgeting and not budgeting ranges from barely making ends meet (and possibly accruing credit card debt) to making ends meet with a bit of discretionary income left over.

Family B's range of outcomes is like the Grand Canyon. Without a budget, they can essentially squander all of their upside and somehow manage to live month-to-month, feeling significant financial tension every step of the way (this is common). With a budget, they have the power to harness this beautiful financial blessing for so much good. They can give generously, save for future wants/needs, spend money on things that actually add value, and invest meaningfully and intentionally.

It's sad, but LOTS of Family B's will squander their opportunity. I've had the privilege of working with many of them, and when they understand this principle, it's game over! Here's one example. This family had generated a fantastic income for over a decade. Yet, over that time, they'd experienced minimal positive momentum. They didn't have much saved, they gave practically nothing, and their investment portfolio was significantly behind schedule.

Then came the budget. They pushed back against budgeting because they "make too much to need one." Eventually, though, they trusted me enough to try. Fast forward just a few years, and they were giving away more than 20% of their income, had adequate savings, invested in creating memories, and built a million-dollar portfolio......which triggered a desire to ramp up their giving even more. All because of a simple budget.

Budgets change everything! ESPECIALLY if you "don't need one."

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Pushing Boundaries

My first trip to Asia was in early 2016. Sarah and I were invited to Hong Kong for me to interview for a board position. To say I was nervous would be a drastic understatement. I grew up in a farm town in the Midwest. Sure, I had traveled a decent amount by 2016, but for whatever reason, Asia felt exceedingly intimidating. While I was terrified going in, what I experienced upon arriving in Asia would change my life forever. Over the course of that trip, and the many Asia trips I've taken since, it's felt more and more like home.

Quick tangent. Sarah and I sold our house in Iowa in 2019. The plan was to rent a small townhome so that we would have fewer household responsibilities and liabilities (mowing, snow removal, potential basement flooding, etc.). With that newfound freedom, we planned to move to Thailand and split our year between Asia and Iowa. That's how convicted I am about my love for Asia.

I've been reflecting on that first trip to Asia lately. The excitement. The anticipation. The fear. The unknowns. As I'm mere days away from my upcoming Mongolia trip, I can't help but think about how unbothered I am about it. I'm not sure what my days there will look like. I don't know what activities we'll participate in. I don't know what cities I'll be traveling to. I haven't started packing. If there's any way I can describe it, it feels like a weekend road trip to Chicago.

This trip will obviously carry more significance in my life than most, but the fact I have no anxious energy heading into it is a weird feeling to think about. I believe that's the power of pushing boundaries.

Things are scary....until they aren't.

Things are new.....until they become normal.

We don't know how to do something.....until we've done it.

It reminds me of a conversation with a friend who desperately wants to start a podcast, but doesn't know how. He's anxious about it. It feels intimidating. He asked how I learned how to podcast. My answer: "By starting a podcast." Cole and I knew nothing.....until we knew something. Fast-forward 360+ episodes later, and we know a lot more about podcasting than when we recorded that first episode.

This principle applies to every single area of my life and your life. The only thing standing between us and where we want to be is having the courage to push the boundaries. Make yourself uncomfortable. Try something new. Push through the fear. You'll be so grateful you did!

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You May Only Get One Chance

I have a talk coming up next week. I'm excited about it, but with my typical nervous energy. All talks mean a lot to me, and this one is no different. It reminds me of a concept I think about a lot. This talk might be my one and only chance to make a difference in someone's life. Some people in that room have never heard my name, and may never hear my name again. However, I have a 60-minute window to make a difference. That's where the nervous energy comes in. What an opportunity! What a responsibility!

Most of you probably aren't giving a talk next week, but you are doing something that will provide you with rare access to someone. For 5, 15, 30, or even 60 minutes, you might have a brief but powerful window to move the needle in someone's life. I think about all the brief interactions I’ve had throughout the course of my life. Many of them are fleeting and unmemorable, but some make a lasting impact.

I think about the stranger who stopped when I was stranded with a broken-down vehicle. I only spent 10 minutes with him in my life, but his assistance made my day (and perhaps saved it as well).

I think about the woman at the stadium security checkpoint who pointed out I had a forbidden (but not dangerous) item in my bag. Instead of forcing me to trudge all the way back to my car, she showed me grace. That saved my night.

I think about a man who took an hour out of his day to meet with a young 19-year-old Travis to share some wisdom and insights about running a business. This guy had far better things to do that day, but he invested in me. I've never seen him again, but wow, he made an impact on me.

None of these people know how much they impacted me…..but I do! We may only get one chance to make a difference in someone’s life. See the opportunity. Embrace the responsibility. Move the needle!

My upcoming speaking event is actually virtual, and it's free! You know what that means!?!? It means every blog reader has the opportunity to attend (if you're interested). It's with the Greater Des Moines Partnership and is part of their Top Five For Small Business series. It's Wednesday, September 25th at 9AM CST. The Des Moines Partnership is a great organization, and they are doing wonderful things to cultivate and grow business and innovation in our city. I'll be giving a slightly modified version of my main keynote talk, so if you haven't heard that talk before, now's your chance! Here is a preview article I wrote for The Partnership last week, which gives you a taste of what to expect. AND HERE IS THE EVENT PAGE WHERE YOU CAN LEARN MORE AND COMPLETE YOUR FREE REGISTRATION. I hope to see some of you there!

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Scare Yourself Today

I'm heading to Mongolia soon. It'll be my first time there since 2017, so needless to say, I'm excited! It will be fun to reconnect with friends, meet new people, hold some productive meetings, and immerse myself back into the Mongolian culture. This topic recently came up during a conversation with a friend.

"You're going to Mongolia!?!? I could never do anything like that!"

"Why not?"

"I would be too nervous."

"So?"

"I don't like doing things that make me nervous. So I don't think I could ever do something like that."

I feel bad for my friend. Not because I think he should go to Mongolia, but because he's missing out on so much of life by avoiding being uncomfortable.

The first time I went to Asia, I was terrified. I loved it.

The first time I went to the Middle East, I was terrified. I loved it.

The first time I published a podcast, I was terrified. I now love it.

The first time I financially coached a family, I was terrified. It soon became second nature.

It's a cycle: Be fearful > do something scary > grow from it > become less scared > do it again > experience more growth > possibly learn to like it.

If I took an inventory of all the things I most enjoy doing and add the most value to my life, most could be traced back to an origin of fear.

I'm not alone in this sentiment. Countless people I know would say the exact same thing: Do things you're scared of. Don't wait until you're no longer afraid.....do them despite being afraid.

I'm sorry to say it, but I don't know how to coach people through this. I've tried, but fear is a powerful force. Instead, each of us has a powerful role to play. First, we need to live it. Do things we're scared of. Grow. Be less scared next time. Repeat.

Second, we need to share our stories with others. People don't want to be told what to do, but they are moved by the experiences of others. That's where you come in. Share your stories. Vulnerably share how you were afraid....and then what came from it. Those are remarkable stories. They WILL move the needle in others.

Then, if all goes well, those people will become the new do-scary-things champions, sharing their own stories with the others.

Do something scary today!

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Get On the Stage

The boys had their second rock concert yesterday. It was a fantastic experience, and I couldn't have been prouder of them. They played at a new venue in our town in front of hundreds of supportive fans. One kid had five songs, and the other four (with one overlapping song where they both performed together). As the event kicked off, the owner of their band organization addressed the audience. He explained their teaching philosophies are upside-down compared to the prevailing strategies. Instead of practicing to perform, they perform to practice.

In the traditional model, you would practice, practice, and practice, hoping to eventually be good enough to perform on stage. Conversely, in this model, the stage performance is the practice. The act of performing in front of hundreds of people builds resiliency, experience, and a love for the craft. It's not perfect. Heck, it's messy. After all, these are seven and eight-year-olds, and most have less than one year of experience. Finn and Pax had three months of total music experience when they did their first show, and six months now. Yet, they are on stage performing in front of hundreds of people. I love this backward model. The performance is the practice.

When this backward practice-as-performance concept was communicated yesterday, it reminded me of how so many of us live life in the conventional model. We tend to live in a world of theoreticals, what-ifs, and when-I'm-good-enoughs. We practice, dwell, and practice some more, hoping to one day be good enough to put our ideas into motion.

What if we followed this alternative model? What if instead of obsessing about trying to get it right or figuring out the perfect way of doing it, we simply did it? What if we just started investing?.....performing as practice. What if we just started budgeting?.....performing as practice. What if we just started paying off our debt?.....performing as practice. What if we just started applying for jobs or making phone calls?.....performing as practice.

We can practice, practice, practice all we want, but it won't move the needle nearly as much as getting up on that stage. Similar to my kids and their band, it's not perfect. It's messy. You're going to fail. But that's the gateway to greatness. Gain that experience, build resilience, and fall in love with the craft.

Pax and I had some interesting conversations yesterday. He was beyond excited about the performance, but equally terrified. He talked of having butterflies in his stomach. He said he thought he was going to throw up. I watched him anxiously pacing back and forth for 20 minutes before he walked up on stage. Then, when it was his turn, he confidently sat behind his drum kit, beat the daylights out of them, grooved with the music, and played up for the crowd. It was everything to him. As he walked off the stage, I caught him side-eyeing me; he gave me a little nod, then a smirk. That performance was exactly what he needed!

Get on the stage.

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This May Only Make Half Sense

Sarah: "Aren't you going to write your blog?"

Me: "I feel like trash!"

Sarah: "You NEVER miss your blog. You've been far sicker than this, and you've never missed a single one."

Me: "I'll figure it out."

Sarah: "Good."

She has a great bedside manner, doesn't she? I expected something more like, "Oh, I'm so sorry you don't feel good. Is there anything I can do for you?" Instead, she immediately reacted with shock at the possibility of me missing my first writing day in nearly two years. The truth is, I can't even fathom a scenario where I don't publish on a given day. Even if both my hands were chopped off, there's a solution out there somewhere. "Hey Siri....."

This is a far cry from November 2022 when I started this blog. Things were going great.....until I got about 10 days in. At that point, I started wondering:

• A) Am I crazy?

• B) Do I even have time for this?

• C) Will I run out of ideas in a matter of weeks.....or days?

With nearly 670 consecutive days under my belt, I can confidently answer these questions. Yes, I'm crazy. No, I don't have time.....but we make time for things that matter. No, there is no limit to the number of ideas if we give ourselves permission.

I did think about Sarah's comment a lot, though. She makes a very interesting point. There have been several days in the last few years where I've felt like I'm on my deathbed. Yet, I somehow wrote, edited, and published a blog each and every one of those days.

I went from not having time or ideas to publish even 2-3 articles per week to not willing to go a single day without writing/publishing.

As I sit here with only half a working brain, I can't help but think how profound the power of commitment is. When we do things because that's what we do, there's nothing that can stop us. This idea makes me think about so many of my clients. Once a new habit is set, it's etched in stone.

I have clients who spent 20 years without budgeting a single time (and being revolted by the idea) to have the practice be a completely non-negotiable part of their marriage and finances.

I have clients who struggled to pay off a single dollar of debt who now attack it monthly like their lives depend on it.

I have clients who lived in comfort and security their entire adult lives and now wake up each day actively pursuing discomfort and struggle.

It's amazing what happens when we stretch ourselves past our falsely-conceived boundaries and into uncharted territory. I hope this piece makes sense to read, as writing doesn't feel completely sensical. More importantly, I hope it gets you thinking about what boundary you need to break through and set a new practice into motion. It will change you. I promise.

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Closing the Loop

Finn and I were able to close the loop on his gift to the children's hospital yesterday. If you don't know what I'm referring to, I highly recommend reading it here! It was a beautiful time together. We packaged his letter, money, and paperwork, drove to the post office (where he personally dropped his gift in the mail), and we celebrated with ice cream. He was beaming, and I was so proud of him.

Closing the loop was such an important step. I could have made a gift on Finn's behalf and told him, "Good job," but him seeing it through to the natural end was critical for his growth. Here's what the entire loop looked like:

• He worked hard and earned money (actual cash he could see and feel)

• He spent some of that money on fun things (which he personally purchased with the cash)

• He saved some of that money for a bigger purchase (a pocketknife....and yes, he cut himself the first day).

• He set some of that money aside for giving (which he used for the gift to the children's hospital).

Each step, he was personally involved. He could touch and feel every part of the process. The pain and accomplishment of the work. The satisfaction of receiving compensation. The fun of spending. The discipline and sacrifice of saving. The selflessness and love of giving.

This is where so many of us whiff. Whether it's ourselves or in our parenting, we don't close loops with finances. We take shortcuts, stop short of fully completing goals, or inadvertently rob ourselves (and our kids) of the tangibility. When we do this, we lose something important. We lose the meaning, fulfillment, and humanity of the journey.

I wanted Finn to see, feel, and experience every step of this little journey. Once that loop was closed, it triggered so many questions:

• "Do you think my gift will make a difference?"

• "Can I give to the hospital again?"

• "Can I give to other people, too?"

• "Do you think God is happy with my decision?"

• "If I work more, will I have more money to do things with?"

• "Is it okay to save and give more of my money next time I get paid?"

• "When can I get a job?"

His little mind is working overtime. This is the beauty of closing loops. Make a goal. Work toward the goal. Accomplish the goal. Celebrate the win. Start afresh. Life can be a series of awesome loops if we allow it.

I'm sure Finn will screw up many, many times. He'll do selfish things. He'll make mistakes. He'll hurt people. But yesterday, he took a step in a positive direction. He grew, and I probably did as well.

Create new loops, enjoy the journey, close them, and repeat.

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Resetting the Reset

Yesterday's post didn't sit well with me. Nothing was inherently wrong with it, and I entirely back what I said. However, upon further review, it was too much about me and not enough about you. In it, I suggested that being intentional about getting a reset (with whatever endeavor you're pursuing) can be a springboard to longevity and renewed energy.

So today, I want to share some real-world examples of how clients are creating resets in their own journey. My hope is that one of these stories will resonate with you, and perhaps trigger your creativity.

First, I think about a 40-something couple that seemingly has it all. A big house, newer cars, and careers that provide status. However, they feel overwhelmed and discontent. They have everything the world says they should pursue, yet it feels a bit empty. Their kids are growing up too fast, and their priorities are flip-flopped. As such, both spouses are in the process of making significant career shifts. This is a massive reset that should revolutionize their life. Their standard of living will likely fall off a cliff, but their quality of life should prosper. The growing pains of this reset will be significant, but it will likely lead to a beautiful place.

Second, I think about a young client who fell into the debt trap early in her journey. She accrued a ton of student loans, plus the ancillary consumer debt that commonly goes hand-in-hand with growing into adulthood. She wants to pay it off quickly, but doesn't want to "throw her life away" either. Therefore, we made a compromise that would allow her to have her cake and eat it, too. Throughout the majority of the year, she's grinding through debt. Then, once per year, she takes an epic 3-4 week trip abroad. She explores, meets new people, experiences new cultures, and most importantly, she doesn't pay off debt. It's her annual reset. That annual reset gives her the excitement and perseverance to achieve her goals.

Third, I think about a couple that has four kids under four. Life is a grind, but a beautiful grind. The wife stays home, which has always been the dream. Money is tight, and they budget prudently. Like many moms, this woman struggles to spend money on herself, instead deferring to everyone else first. Twice per year, though, they cut back on a bunch of budget categories and allocate a nice chunk of money for her clothing. She then uses that money to reset her wardrobe. It's a beautiful little treat for them, providing her with renewed energy.

Last, it reminds me of an idea that I and many of my clients execute. Each quarter, I plan a 1-2 night hotel retreat for myself. I think, write, plan, and rest. Oh yeah, and enjoy a few unique meals. I go into those trips stressed and tired, and come back refreshed. A wonderful reset.

Opportunities for resets are everywhere! We just need to look for them, and more importantly, give ourselves permission to do it.

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Sometimes, We Need a Reset

Yesterday was a huge day in the life of Northern Vessel. No, nothing big actually happened. In the overall scheme of things, it probably doesn't even hit the top 25 list of things we've done. We got a reset. We closed for five days for the first time in our company's history. That in and of itself was a weird experience.

The primary driver for the closing was to refinish the floors, a to-do item since dealing with the blood, glass, and wreckage of the first car crash. But since it took seven months to completely fix the shop, and we were only at full strength for 59 days before the second car crash, we just never got around to it. Our mentality was that if we were forced to close the shop for five days, we would get a reset. Here's what happened:

• The floors got refinished, of course. They look beautiful!

• Repainted the entire interior.

• Rebuilt our merch wall, which was destroyed in the first crash.

• Introduced the first two items of our new merch line.

• Added many visual accents to the interior, including a lot of greenery.

• Installed exterior concrete benches to prevent a third car crash!!

• Reimagined our exterior signage.

• Give the team a breather after our intense summer.

None of these single items were massive shifts, but combined, it feels like we're entering an entirely different universe. Sometimes, we need a reset!

I think about resets often. Some professions have natural, built-in resets. It's one of the reasons I always get jealous of my teacher friends. There's a natural rhythm to their years, which includes intentional resets. Some professions, like mine, feel like one continuous journey with no jumping-off points. Can you relate?

Sometimes, though, we need a reset! This applies to all areas of life, including finances I find that our finances are a reflection of our broader life. When life gets hectic and stressful, so too do our finances. It can feel like too much at times.

The same applies when we're focusing on major financial goals. Saving for a big purchase, getting out of debt, and making investing headway are common examples. When Sarah and I were in the midst of paying off $236,000 of debt (it sucked as bad as you can imagine), we reached a point where we felt beat down. One crappy month ran into the next, and it felt unrelenting. We were making solid progress but were running out of steam. We needed a reset.

We made a controversial decision to pause the debt payoff, save for a trip to Europe, and get away for 10 days. To this day, it was one of the best trips we've ever taken. While, in theory, it slowed our debt payoff progress, it actually sped us up. That reset was exactly what the doctor ordered. We came back with renewed focus and fresh energy.

Are you losing momentum? Do you need a reset? If so, make it happen. It may be exactly what the doctor ordered!

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Encountering the Fork

We have an emergency brewing in our house. In a sudden and unexpected meltdown, Pax confessed that he wants to quit playing the drums. Yes, the same kid who put on this performance just 90 days after picking up drumsticks for the first time.

When I pressed him on the subject, he said he desires to switch to the electric guitar. Not wanting to project my desires on him, I started asking questions to learn more. I still don't have the full story, but in short, his desire to quit the drums stems from frustration from it "being hard."

Uh oh, we have a problem. I'm not concerned about my kids losing interest in a particular activity. After all, as a parent, I can't live my life through them and project my own desires upon their steps. They need to make their own decisions. However, the reason for his desired decision is what concerns me.

This is a test, a turning point, a fork in the road. If he ultimately chooses to walk away from something because it's difficult, that could easily become his mode of operation. If something gets hard, quit. If the next thing gets hard, quit.

Each of us faces these types of tests throughout our journey. We start to gain some success in xyz endeavor, but then BOOM (!!), we hit an obstacle. That's the fork in the road. It's easy to keep moving forward when things are going well. What reveals our true character is how we respond when we hit that fork in the road.

So many of my clients have hit forks in the last few months. Whether they are getting out of debt, trying to hit the next level in their business, trying to lock in their budget, working toward a promotion, or attempting to ramp up their investing/savings game. My job isn't to merely cheer them on, but rather to prepare them for when (not if) the fork comes. The fork always comes. It's inevitable. When those forks hit, their next few steps will be critical.

As I reflect on my journey, I'm so grateful for the times younger me pushed through these obstacles. Who I am and where I'm at is a direct result of those decisions. On the flip side, I have many regrets from times when I didn't push through. Like Pax, I wanted to quit.....and I did. I so badly wish I could get a do-over on some of those decisions.

Only time will tell if Pax will persevere. If he does, it will build a ton of character and be a tell for what might come. If he doesn't, well, that could be a different kind of tell. I'll be praying for him, providing guidance, and encouraging him every step of the way. Please pray for me, too!

It's easy to talk to the talk, but some of us adults need to walk the walk. Our kids are watching. If we quit, why shouldn't they? Let's show them what to do with these forks!

No Truly Original Ideas

In just a few hours, I'll participate in my tenth consecutive Global Leadership Summit in Chicago. In my opinion, this is one of the best conferences in the world, and one of the few events I look forward to every year. It will include two jam-packed days of speakers, ideas, stories, and inspiration. It fills my tank every year, and I couldn't be more excited. Even better is that my guy TJ gets to join me for the third consecutive year. Here's the speaker lineup we're about to enjoy:

I've been reflecting on the idea of ideas. We like to think our ideas are uniquely ours. After all, they do get formulated in our brains and projected from our mouths (or fingers, in the case of this blog). However, there are no truly original ideas. Every good idea is formed from a base knowledge, which is absorbed from all around us. Nothing I type of rant about on the podcast is truly my own. Instead, I am blessed with the opportunity to receive knowledge, ideas, wisdom, and experience from others, process it, and formulate new-ish ideas of my own.

I'm a big believer in acting like a sponge. Think about the little kids in your life. Children absorb EVERYTHING! "But why?" "But why?" "But why?" Their curiosity knows no bounds. However, it's common for adults to get complacent in their curiosity once they leave their schooling years. I've been there. Life gets busy, we think we know enough, and we get set in our ways. The consequence of this approach to life is that we can lose perspective, fall behind on knowledge, and get stuck in our own existing ideas.

Instead, I believe we would all be better off continually seeking new ideas, knowledge, and perspectives. Books, movies, podcasts, online videos, or even a coffee with someone who has something to share. None of these are expensive (mostly free), and we have instant access to some of the brightest minds in the world.

Undoubtedly, any good idea I've ever had on this blog (plus the bad ones....) can 100% be attributed to other people who have blessed me with their knowledge, ideas, perspectives, and experience. That's why I get so jacked up for the GLS each year. I will most certainly go home better than when I left. And if I lean hard enough into these new ideas, I may be able to add more value to your lives as well.

That's the opportunity we each have every day. Always stay curious. Keep growing. Continue learning. Then, share your new-ish ideas with the world so they can grow and develop their own new-ish ideas.

Based on the speaker list above, who are you most curious to hear about? I’m excited to share some of their content in the days to come!

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