Tailgating Economics Don't Have to Make Sense

I've always been fascinated by college football tailgating. Growing up in NW Illinois, college sports weren't really a thing. It was Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Blackhawks. That's it. It wasn't until I was a freshman at Iowa State that I was exposed to the spectacle of tailgating.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in thousands of individual set-ups, circling a single stadium. If the game starts at 11AM, people start tailgating at 7AM. If the game starts at 2PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. And if the game starts at 6PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. There's busses, RVs, food, music, games, beverages, and even big-screen TVs broadcasting other games.

Needless to say, people spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money to fulfill their tailgating endeavors. It's nothing short of astounding the lengths people will go to enhance their tailgate. I get exhausted just from

Seeing some people’s tailgates, and I'm not even the one investing the time, energy, or money. But they sure are fun!

I love asking people about their tailgates, which are as unique as fingerprints. Each group has its own traditions, food, games, rhythms, schedules, and habits. The key word there is tradition. Whenever you ask someone about their tailgate, their face lights up, and they share how, when, and why it all started (usually many years ago). Some people will tell you they've been doing the same thing in the same location for decades.

If we're honest, the economics of tailgating don't make sense. Many people I know spend as much on tailgating each fall as most families spend on travel year-round. It can be expensive! It's not for everyone, but it's for many. People aren't ever going to justify the math on tailgating, but they will tell you as confidently as the grass is green, it's worth it. This is where the whole meaning over money concept comes into play. Not everything is about money. For some, they simply choose this because it matters.

At the heart of it, it's about something deeper. It's about people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. It's an investment in relationships. It's a way to share experiences and create memories.

I'm grateful for anyone who has ever invited me to their tailgate. It's an opportunity I never take for granted. It's not something I ever aspire to recreate with our own family (especially at the scale many do it), but man, it sure is fun. I have many fond memories of sharing those experiences with people I care about. If that's you, just know I'm grateful!

My Cyclones may have lost yesterday, but the memories I created will last a lifetime.

Playing the Long, Long....Long Game

As my kids are heading into first grade next week, they are in this sweet spot where they are just getting into reading. They are fascinated with it, but aren't yet fully proficient. Out of sheer curiosity, they try to read just about everything. TV tickers, nutrition labels, shirts in public (this one is dangerous), highway signs.....everything.

The other day, out of the blue, Finn looked over at me and said, "Dad, when I'm bigger, I'm going to read your blog." It was a brief but touching moment for me. The idea he likes to read makes me happy, but the idea he wants to read my writing is profoundly special.

Over the last several years, I've published hundreds of thousands of words, nearly a hundred hours of audio, and countless videos. I create this content for those I wish to serve (including you!). I genuinely want to help people, add value to their lives, and play a positive role in their journeys. However, there's a secondary motive behind what I do. Someday, when I'm buried in the ground, my work will still be here for people to use and enjoy.

I often think about how fast our world is moving. I'm still pretty young, but I grew up in an entirely different technological era. I have a limited amount of grainy home video footage and a few hundred pictures. That's it. When those who came before me pass, I'll still have my memories, but nothing concrete. Several years ago, my paternal grandfather wrote a self-published book about his life. Now that he's gone, that book has become much more special in my life. It's something I can read and re-read for decades to come.

But my kids will have an entirely different future regarding content and memories. Someday, they may stumble upon a blog post, YouTube video, or podcast episode where I talked about them. It's like a digital time capsule that the weather can't destroy. These are memories, stories, wisdom, and tributes, cemented in time.

Someday, when Finn is "bigger," I hope he types my name into whatever search engine runs the world at that time. When he does, oh the treasures he will find! Each written word, snippet of audio, and video clip will be there to meet him where he's at. No matter how much good comes from my work, or if it happens to change the world, there will be no greater joy than to have my kids someday receive what I've left behind. I'm playing the long, long, long game.

If this post made you think about your own life (and those who come after you), let it serve as an inspiration and motivation to create. What you create is up to you, but just create. Put something into the world that you'll be proud of for people to discover and enjoy for decades to come. By the way, if you don't think you have something worth sharing, you're wrong. It matters!

Pulling Apart vs. Bringing Together

I love business travel. Since my first opportunity to travel for work (Denver in August 2005), I've loved it. In the front half of my career, the travel was primarily domestic (NYC leads the way with 24 trips, followed by South Florida with nine, and Los Angeles with eight). In the last eight years, it's been more international (mainly Middle East and SE Asia).

There's so much to love about travel, business or otherwise. Seeing new sights, experiencing different cultures, meeting unique people, staying in interesting hotels, and learning something new about yourself. I always love the trips.

Along the way, I learned a few particular people don't always love the trips: two little boys. They don't ask much of me.....just 100% of my attention 100% of the time. No big deal....haha!!

Business travel always felt like a positive for me.....until one particular trip. It was September 2018. I was throwing the final few items in my bag before heading to the airport. I was flying to the Middle East and would be gone for nine days. Though Sarah was supportive of this trip, I could see the stress and nervousness in her eyes. Not because I was heading to the Middle East, but rather the stress of caring for twin two-year-olds for more than a week without me being around. To top off the moment, this particular day was Finn and Pax's second birthday....ouch!

I've been mindful and intentional about my trips since that experience. I still enjoy them as much as ever, but it's always hard to leave the family. After some of these experiences, I realized a shift needed to happen. Luckily (or unluckily) for me, two consecutive events transformed my relationship with business travel: I left my prior career, and COVID shut down our world.

As my new career started to grow and the world opened back up, I finally had my opportunity to put my money where my mouth was. If business travel had historically pulled our family apart, was there a way to use the same business travel to bring it together? It was an interesting experiment, but I was up for the challenge.

We tested this idea by bringing the entire family to Los Angeles earlier in the summer. Not only were we able to create some amazing memories (Disney, beach, food, more beach), but they were also present for some of my work. Sarah attended one of my talks and also watched me deliver a sermon at a church.

This week, we're trying it again. I'm spending the next eight days with a client in Midland, TX. Instead of being absent from my family for the home stretch leading up to school starting, we're using this opportunity for one last family summer adventure.

I don't know how this experiment will play out in the long run, but I'm excited to find out. I hope it provides meaningful work, tons of new memories, and brings us all together in powerful new ways.

Truth Bombs From Finn

Do you have a favorite meme? Is that even a thing? Can we have favorite memes like we have favorite albums or favorite movies? I'm making an executive decision by ruling that, yes, we can have a favorite meme. Ok, now that I've solidified that, I have a favorite meme.

It's a picture of Yoda that reads, "Once I became a parent, I understood the scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions that he just dies." So funny! I laugh at this every time I see it......I'm laughing as we speak.

Last night, I took the boys to watch one of my Christian rapper friends put on a local show. We had an absolute blast and the kids' eyes were opened to an entirely new art form. As we were leaving the event, I heard a very common phrase, "Hey Dad?" It was only the 3,342nd time I heard that phrase on that day.

"What's up, Finn?"

"You know all the times we spend together and the rides we take?

"Yeah, bud!"

"I have all those memories in my head and can dream about them any time I want. I could even think about them right now if I wanted."

I was floored! When I approached a stop sign, I whipped my phone out and hastily wrote down his quote. Wow! If you consume my content, you probably know I think/talk a lot about investing in memories. It's a constant theme in my value system and my coaching.

But out of the blue, my 6-year-old son drops a bomb on me, essentially summarizing in two sentences what I spend so much of my career trying to encourage in others. Memories are forever. Memories are powerful. They won't end up in a landfill. They revolve around special people. They don't necessarily cost anything. They latch onto us and influence who we become and what we do.

Memories merely require that we be present. I was exhausted last night. A part of me just wanted to stay home and lay low. That would have been easier. But I really wanted to support my friend, who I knew was excited for his show (he crushed it, by the way). I also knew my kids would love. Therefore, I chose to be present.

That's the weird part about memories. Sometimes, we plan, plan, and plan, hoping to create the most amazing experience. Then, something much smaller surprises us by being the memory that perseveres through time. To this day, the one memory my kids have about a particular week-long spring break trip is swimming with me in the hotel pool.

So all we can do is be present, be intentional, and let the chips fall how they may. When we do, we'll inevitably create powerful memories worth far more than anything money can buy. Or in the beautiful words of Finn, they will be in your head, and you can dream about them any time you want!!

It Doesn't Have to Break the Bank

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, TJ and I made our way to a Chicago Cubs game after our conference on Thursday night. We had the most wonderful time! It was quite spontaneous, as evidenced by our not deciding to go until 1PM the day of the game. That's what makes some of these memories so fun. While eating lunch, TJ suggested we buy tickets.....so we jumped on the Seat Geek app and bought tickets. Despite popular belief, creating memories doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg.

Do you remember those old Mastercard commercials where they listed out all the costs of a particular thing, then the last item's price was listed as "priceless?" That's what I thought of while we were at the game. Here's what my ad might look like:

Tickets to the game: $32

Parking: $15

Italian Beef: $11

Old Style Beer: $12

Lifelong Memories: Priceless

I paid $70 for an impulsive outing to create memories that I wlll surely carry with me for years to come. It was the easiest $70 I'll spend all month. I could play the "I could use that $70 for something more responsible" game, or the "but I don't need it" game, but no other use of that $70 would generate the return Thursday's night escapades did. Those memories truly are priceless!

That's the power of memories. Some memories are free, some are expensive, and some are just pretty dang affordable. They are often even sweeter when they are impulsive, as it adds a different dynamic to the situation.

What's an impulsive decision you recently made that resulted in a fun, priceless memory? I'd love to hear your stories!!!

Following a Budget Goes Both Ways

I received a text from my wife yesterday afternoon. "What do you want to do for dinner?" Knowing it was a Friday and the last day of the month, I immediately opened my budgeting app to see if we had any dining out money left. $76!!! I guess that's what happens when we're gone for half the month. Knowing we had a nice chunk of change remaining, we made a family date night out of it. We walked to a local pizza restaurant, then to a nearby ice cream shop. We had a blast!

There's a massive misunderstanding about budgeting. Budgeting it's about spending less.....it's about spending better. Yes, budgeting well keeps us from overspending. But it goes both ways! Budgeting, when done healthily, also prevents us from underspending. Spending better means being intentional, spending on our values, and removing negative emotions such as guilt, resentment, fear, and worry.

Many people would look at that extra $72 and proclaim it a win. Yay, we came in under budget!!!! But Sarah and I negotiated our budget at the beginning of the month, and we promised each other this was what we would spend money on. Us going out for a fun night was our way of honoring what we promised ourselves and each other. Just like we promised to pay our rent and life insurance, we promised to spend this money on dining out. It has to go both ways. We can't use a budget to only prevent us from having too much fun.....it also needs to encourage us to have fun. It's a tool to align our money with our values. And last night, our values pointed toward spending intentional time with the boys, creating memories, and enjoying some tasty food together.

The moment we treat budgeting like a one-way, fun-hating tool of cheapness and saving (er, hoarding), is the moment budgeting completely sucks. When that occurs, we start treating our life like a giant game of let's-try-to-live-like-broke-college-students-so-one-day-we'll-have-even-more. You know the problem with more, right? Every time we get more, more is still more.

There's a better way, and the better way is to have it both ways. Let the budget prevent us from coming off the rails AND let the budget force us to do the fun things we promised ourselves we would do. If more people viewed and handled money this way, budgeting may no longer be a four-letter word in most marriages.

Here’s the plan:

1. Make a budget on or around the first of the month.

2. Make sure your budget aligns with your values.

3. Do what you said you were going to do.

4. Track it.

5. Have fun!

6. Repeat.

If you follow these six simple steps, I promise you’ll find more joy, more peace, more intentionality, more unity, and more progress. Have a great day!

If Not, What's the Point?

One of my clients was recently considering making a somewhat major purchase……in the +/- $25,000 range. This is no small sum of money, and they fully recognize that. The particular item they were considering isn’t greatly important to this conversation, and I want you to use your imagination so you can put yourself in your shoes with whatever type of item might be in your life.

On one hand, they recognize the value this item would bring to their life. Time spent with their kids, intentional time away from the house, and creating new memories. On the other hand, it’s $25,000 they would be disconnecting from their broader plan, and it would most certainly “hurt” them financially. The math says this is a bad decision, as math usually does. However, buying this item isn’t reckless and won’t materially impair them.

After discussing, here' was my opinion. Of course they should buy it!!! If not, what’s the point of all this? To me, this is the easiest yes of all time. They’ve been trying (successfully) to steward their resources well, live responsibly, explore generosity, and create memories with their kids. Mission and memories! This family is modeling what it looks like to view and handle money in a healthy way…..I hope it’s contagious with others in their circle.

Ultimately, they didn’t need me to tell them to do it. I think they knew deep down this was the right thing to do, and they are doing it! This is one of the things I love about this couple. It’s never about money…..because money is never about money. Meaning over money, always.

Do you have something like this in your life and have actually pulled the trigger? Or maybe you know what it is, but have hesitated to follow through? Would love to hear your stories! Please hit reply or drop a comment below. Have an awesome day!

Creating Traditions

As I write this, I have one little boy snuggled up to my left side, fast asleep. On my right side, the other little boy, equally exhausted. I’m laying in a tent, using my thumbs to peck away this post. I can hear birds settling in for the night, and thunder in the distance. I’m exactly where I am every year on this night. The boys and I are on our annual pre-Mother’s Day camping trip. We rode horses, shot BB guns, played dodgeball, swam for far too long, and ate s’mores. It’s a tradition.

There’s something about traditions that stick with us. We nostalgically remember the past, savor the present, and eagerly anticipate the future. Sometimes we find ourselves yearning for traditions of the past. Traditions that can’t be recreated or maybe shouldn’t be recreated. We mourn the loss of them while trying to hold onto the fond memories created from them. We often fail to realize every day is an opportunity to create new traditions.

This is something I took from therapy years ago. The power of creating new traditions. My wife, Sarah, sometimes takes it to the extreme. We could go to the grocery store on a random Tuesday afternoon, just one time, and she very well may declare going grocery shopping on Tuesday afternoons a new tradition. When I started taking the boys on this camping trip three years ago, I didn’t know it would become a tradition. But then they starting making references to the trip, asking when we could go back, and planning all the things they want to do next time. And just like that, we have a tradition. It’s a special tradition to me. It adds a richness to my life because I get to create lifelong memories with them. Though Sarah isn’t part of this trip, she looks forward to it as well. The original intent of the trip was to give momma a little rest ahead of Mother’s Day. She may have been counting down the days until we left for this trip, secretly planning all the rest and fun she’ll have in our absence. Let’s just say she ushered us out the door quite hastily this afternoon…..she was ready! It’s the tradition.

There’s something powerful about knowing we are one simple decision away from creating a new tradition in our life. I find myself seeking them out and finding creative ways to start something. In the world of meaning vs. money, it proves once again that meaning always prevails.

What are some of your favorite traditions?

Memories Are Memories

In a world obsessed with more, more, and more, we can often lose sight of what really matters. In the last week, I’ve had several conversations with parents about how they are spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on their kids. Sometimes they classify these expenditures as wants, and other times as needs. But as a general rule of thumb, if it doesn’t involve a doctor, there are very few purchases in the $1,000+ range that classify as true kid needs.

I’m not necessarily disparaging these purchase decisions. People can do whatever they want and certainly have the right to do so. However, in the midst of all the spending, we sometimes lose perspective. We can get so consumed by the idea of more spending = more fun, more memories, and more happiness. Yes, there are some memories and experiences that more money can buy. No doubt about that! My friends Cole and Kate invested in an amazing trip to New Zealand several years ago. Those memories and experiences were unique and breathtaking……and expensive. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I celebrated it while I lived vicariously through them.

At the same time, memories are memories. Memories don’t keep score with dollars. A positive memory that costs $10 has the same value as a positive memory that costs $10,000. Last weekend, Sarah was out of town and I had a “man weekend” with the boys. We had so much fun. One of the days was packed with all sorts of adventures and activities. As I was tucking the kids to bed that night, out of nowhere Finn exclaimed, “Daddy, today was the best day ever!” Wow, that one got me and it suddenly felt like someone was cutting onions in their bedroom. Weird how that happens to us guys sometimes. As I thought about the day, I realized all we spent was $6 for a couple of ice cream cones. The truth is, they didn’t care if we had the simplest day or the most financially extravagant day. All they cared about was having me fully present and engaging with them. Kids can humble us like that.

Next time you feel guilty for not being able to “provide” something for your kids, or you feel the pressure to spend money on xyz because everyone else is, remember that memories are memories. They don’t care what you spend. They aren’t keeping score with money. When it’s time to spend on something expensive, great. But if not and until then, please don’t discredit or overlook all the amazing opportunities in front of you to create memories each and every day.

Can't Win 'Em All

On Saturday, I was struck with a brilliant idea. Ok, maybe it wasn’t brilliant……but in my head it was! The Minnesota Timberwolves were a near lock for the 9th seed in the NBA’s Western Conference, meaning they would host a home play-in game on Wednesday night. Considering this is a borderline bucket list item for me, the idea of road-tripping to this game excited me. That’s when my second brilliant idea surfaced. My buddy, Keaton, is a Minneapolis resident and a huge Timberwolves fan. It was then and there that I decided to buy fantastic seats for that game and gift my friend an awesome experience. He said he was in, I bought the tickets, and I rearranged my schedule. Investing in memories, notching off a bucket list item, and giving an awesome gift to a friend…….such a cool situation! Brilliant, right?!?!

Second tier, front row, mid-court…….

What happened next is where it all came crumbling down. The Timberwolves go on to win their final two games and other teams lost theirs. Translation: the Wolves moved up in the standings and weren’t going to host this game in Minnesota. Huge bummer! All is not lost, fortunately, as I’ll get a refund because the game got canceled…..or so I thought. The ticket system considered this game “play-in game #1.” Little did I know, but if the Wolves lose this first game (played last night), they would play a second play-in game on Friday night at home. Well, I knew that part. The part I didn’t know is that Friday’s home game would now be considered “play-in game #1.” In other words, I may still have two expensive tickets to Friday night’s game……which my friend can’t attend.

Meanwhile, the Timberwolves are a mess. One of their best players punched a teammate during a huddle in the season finale, resulting in a one-game suspension (for last night’s game), and another player, in anger, punched a wall at halftime and broke his hand (out indefinitely). Did I mention they were playing at the Lakers, where Lebron and AD are getting hot at the right moment? Not looking so good for the Wolves……which means it might not look so good for me. How’d it all play out? Last night’s game was an overtime thriller, with the Lakers pulling it out. Therefore, it looks like I have two expensive tickets for a game I can’t take my friend to. Ouch.

Brilliant idea, horrible outcome. I never would have known had I not tried. I don’t regret it at all and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Oh well, nothing worth doing is ever easy or perfect. I’ll definitely do something dumb like this again in the future, and that one may work out to be one of the best outcomes ever……or it too could blow up in my face, again. You can’t win ‘em all.

There's So Much We Don't Know

Yesterday, we wrapped up two days of meetings and said goodbye to our friends. It was a long few days and lots of important work was accomplished. We grew our relationships, created memories, shared food (lots of food!), and told stories. The experience was priceless.

This morning (Thailand time while you were all sleeping), Sarah, me, and a few other friends hopped on a plane to Hua Hin, a beach town on the Gulf of Thailand. As we left the airport and stepped into Hua Hin, it felt like we were entering Florida. Palm trees, humid weather, and countless tourists excited to begin their vacation. So many familiar things, but also quite foreign at the same time. I couldn’t read any signs, the roads and driving patterns were quite different, and I didn’t recognize many of the storefront brands.

One of my favorite parts about international travel is that literally everything we do is new to me. It’s a constant reminder about how much I don’t know. Even a trip to the grocery store unearths new finds and curiosities. Life can feel so repetitive at times. The same roads, the same buildings, the same routines. Then when we travel abroad, every little bit of our day is unfamiliar, maybe uncomfortable, and extremely interesting. As I sit here writing this, I’m watching a sport I’ve never seen (or even heard of). Indoor soccer on a basketball court with a tiny little soccer ball. These players are like magicians, maneuvering this familiar but unfamiliar ball on a court that’s also familiar (but not).

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. It’s a humbling feeling, but also exciting. It’s a constant reminder that we’ve only scratched the surface of life. We can choose to fall into what’s normal and comfortable each day, or we can choose to learn something new by putting ourselves in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. I need to do that more often in my day-to-day life. If you ever see me in the street, ask me how I’m doing with it. It’s an endeavor worth pursuing.

Investing in Memories: Reader Edition

I often talk about the idea of investing in memories. I cover it in my speaking, podcast, and in this blog (including HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE). Investing our resources in memories, I believe, is one of the keys to living with meaning. Our stuff ends up in a landfill, but our memories last a lifetime.

With that in mind, something fun happened this past week. Three different readers shared a recent situation in their life pertaining to this very topic. One took their grandkids to a fairly expensive event, one attended the NFC championship game, and one splurged for Hamilton tickets on Broadway while in NYC. I absolutely loved hearing each of these stories. All three included a similar sequence of events:

• The price tags gave them sticker shock

• It wasn’t something they would normally do

• There was some anxiety about the decision

• They went for it!

• It was amazing

• Zero regrets

• “I will remember that forever”……..or some variation of that comment

Beautiful stuff! I’m so glad they said “yes” to memories. What memories have you invested in lately? If you haven’t, what are you waiting for!?!? Make some plans, big or small, and go for it!

The Curse of Comparison

When I was growing up, the only Christmas I experienced was my own. I knew what it looked like in my home, and my friends theirs. Technology changed the game with the invention of social media. Maybe some of you are in the same camp, but I spent some time scrolling through Facebook and Instagram yesterday. Christmas post after Christmas post. And maybe some of you can also relate to having a multitude of feelings when seeing other people’s Christmas celebrations. Feelings such as:

• “They look happier than us”

• “They have more presents than us”

• Their house is a lot nicer than ours”

• “They have way better food than we’re having”

• “Their trip looks way more fun than being in this frigid weather”

If you had any thoughts such as these, you’re not alone. I’m guessing many of us did. After all, it’s human nature. It’s the curse of comparison, and social media amplifies it unlike anything we’ve ever dealt with before. There are a few major problems with comparison:

1) We only compare ourselves to people who have more or better than we have. We rarely stop to compare ourselves to those who are less fortunate than us……which by the way is the vast majority of the world.

2) There’s always someone with more than us to compare ourselves to. Even Jeff Bezos, the 5th richest person in the world, could compare himself to Elon Musk (2nd richest person in the world) and jealously wish he had that additional $50 billion. No matter how well we have it, we’ll find someone to compare ourselves to. Whether it’s family, a job, a house, status, cars, or presents under the tree, we’ll definitely find someone to unfairly compare ourselves to.

3) Comparison robs us of appreciating what we do have. I have so much in life, but after spending 10 minutes on Facebook this afternoon, I felt like a nothing. It can be demoralizing at times, so it’s important to always take time to reflect on and be grateful for what we do have.

4) Social media is people’s highlight reel. It portrays them at their absolute best, the way they want to be seen, in a moment of time. We don’t know what’s happening in the other 99.9% of their lives. Sadly, many are hurting just like you and me. So when we see their social media post, don’t extrapolate them to believe their lives are perfect and pristine. I promise you they aren’t.

No matter what your Christmas looked like, I hope it was your version of amazing filled with special moments, time with loved ones, and memories that will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas!

"I Would Have Felt Guilty"

I was recently meeting with a client who just did something out of character for his wiring. He purchased two things that were very much wants. Outdoor equipment and tickets to a few events. On the surface, these are very normal and customary purchases for most people…..but not for him. He’s wired as a big-time saver and these types of decisions don’t come easy for him. Despite what our cultural narrative says, not everyone is out there recklessly spending and spiraling themselves into debt. Many people deal with a polar opposite, but equally destructive habit: hoarding. This is a rampant problem caused by a “responsible” segment of our society that demonizes spending and applauds saving. And if saving some is applauded, saving more gets an even bigger applause. This sentiment, carried over years and decades, has led an entire generation into a hoarding mindset.

What I love about my young friend is his self-awareness of this potential pitfall in his behavior. He recognized it early, keenly knew it probably wasn’t healthy, then took steps to address it. Today, he has a healthy balance of saving, spending, and giving. When I asked him about these purchases, he was excited to share the news. It was pure and genuine excitement. He added, “Before we started working together, I would have felt guilty.” This time? No guilt. Not one ounce.

No guilt, no regrets, and no second-guessing. Just intentional decisions that fit into his broader plan, to create experiences with people he loves, which will turn into lifelong memories.

Don't Let Your Memory Become a Nightmare

In yesterday’s post, I talked about the idea of investing in memories and not dwelling on the cost. The key point was that memories will last forever, while you soon won’t even remember what you paid for them. Two readers quickly pointed out this perspective seemed a bit negligent. That it’s irresponsible to recklessly pursue memories at the risk of impairing one’s financial life.

I’m really glad they pointed this out to me! I couldn’t agree more. I was perhaps too casual or too presumptuous that people are avoiding self-sabotage in the process. I of all people should know better than to make this assumption. I work with people every day who make decisions that will haunt them for years or decades to come.

Whenever we make a financial decision, it has to fit within the broader context of our life. When I made the choice to fly to Dallas and sit courtside at a Mavs game, contextually I knew I could intentionally budget for it while still finding my balance between needs, wants, giving, and saving. If this opportunity would have presented itself 10-15 years earlier, I don’t think I could have said the same thing. Back then, a similar decision could potentially have knocked me off balance, or incentivized me into debt. When we make those types of choices, we create a scenario for ourselves where our memories turn into nightmares.

Each summer, Sarah makes the case for us to buy a small condo in a popular nearby lake community. She dreams about all the memories we can create there, as well as all the family time we would get to share together. She makes some very good arguments….and it sounds amazing. However, we then have to consider how it fits into the context of our broader life. Unfortunately, choosing to purchase this condo today would have deep negative ripple effects that could quickly turn into a nightmare.

Memories matter, but not when they haunt us for months or years to come. Choose wisely and choose carefully. When you do, those memories will be beautiful….and priceless!

I Don't Even Remember the Cost

Ten years ago, my buddy Nick was about to have his first child. In a moment of panic, he called me and said we need to fly to Dallas to watch Dirk Nowitzki play before the baby arrives (insinuating this could be his last chance to make that dream a reality). I immediately said yes, but added one condition: “we’re only going to do this if we sit courtside.”

Nick’s next question was obvious, “well how much will those seats cost?”

Me: “no idea, but it doesn’t matter.”

He reluctantly said yes! We quickly bought our plane tickets, hotel room, and game tickets. Then, we waited. He and I shared an amazing experience that weekend. Lots of good food, sights, and of course a Mavs game with a courtside view. Our seats were along the sideline in the direct path to the locker room. So to end our experience, Nick fist-bumped the entire team as they exited the court. Jason Terry, Vince Carter, Jason Kidd, Shawn Marion, Lamar Odom…….and yes, Dirk Nowitzki!

To this day, I don’t remember what we paid for those seats, or what the trip cost for that matter. But those memories, shared experiences, and stories will last a lifetime. It’s a small but powerful example of investing in memories. My stuff will eventually die in a landfill, but these memories are forever.

It's All Going to the Landfill

Nearly every possession you currently own will end up in a landfill before too long. It’s sad, but true. Even crazier is that some of our more expensive items (technology and clothing) will likely end up there in a matter of years.

I’m not demeaning possessions. Rather, when we stop and think about this idea, it has the power to shape our decisions and behaviors. It doesn’t stop me from buying things, but it does force me to consider the opportunity cost. Namely, the opportunity to spend on things that won’t end up in a landfill. In the words of my dear friend Gary Hoag, “invest in mission and memories.” That’s why generosity, travel, and experiences are my family’s biggest categories. While the computer I’m typing this on will soon end up in the landfill, these other things will live forever.