A Clean Slate

If you're like many Americans, August can be a brutal month for your finances. It's a wild cocktail of end-of-summer travel, experiences with friends, back-to-school expenses, and the transition from summer to fall clothes. When all these factors combine forces, it's easy to implode our monthly budget.

This past week, I met with frustrated family after frustrated family, each feeling guilty and defeated by a busted budget and sudden financial stress. It's an easy mistake to make, and it happens to the best of us. Here's the good news if you're a family who budgets healthily. Somewhere between 1 and 30 days from now, we get a clean slate. Even when we mess up, the month eventually concludes, and a new one begins.

This may feel like splitting hairs, but it can make a huge psychological difference. Something powerful happens when we wipe the slate clean at regular intervals. Mistakes will happen (they always do), but they don't define us.....and they certainly don't need to haunt us.

This clean slate perspective can work wonders for us. My wife and I regularly have financial months we'd like to forget. Once the month wraps up, we take inventory of what happened and simply move on. With every passing month comes the opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again. This is our 168th monthly budget since getting married. We've had many bad months in there, but we've learned every step of the way. Some months are amazing, while others end with us counting down the days until the slate is wiped clean. But every time, we eventually get to start afresh.

On the flip side, even when we nail our finances in a given month, the clean slate provides us yet another opportunity to bring our dreams to life. There's a pool of money to account for this month, and therein lies the opportunity for us to live out our values through our budget. Sarah and I have a handful of fun priorities this month, ranging from future international travel, to generosity, to the kids. As we put the budget together, it's been fun to see these aspirations come to life. And next month, we get to do it again.

We don't need to budget forever......just until we die. #dadjoke. Budgeting isn't something we have to do, but rather something we get to do. It's a blessing, not a curse. It's an opportunity, not an evil. It doesn't tell us what to do.....we tell it what we're going to do. It's a beautiful tool to plan our dreams, then put one foot in front of the other to make them come alive.

Embrace the clean slate. Make the most of it. Use this opportunity to live out your values. You won't regret it.

What if the World Melts?

There's a lot of talk about the impending doom of America. Everyone has an opinion, and most people's opinions revolve around some notion of our economic system collapsing. Whether it's the housing market, our currency, the stock market, or some other piece of our economy, people think it's all going to melt. 

Do I think our world is perfectly put together and predestined for a long and rosy path? Absolutely not. In fact, I think we have some pain ahead of us. Companies are starting to lay people off. Interest rates and stubbornly high house prices are limiting housing affordability. Rampant inflation (particularly for food and gas) is squeezing away families' remaining financial margin. Consumer debt has surpassed all-time highs. And to put a cherry on top, Federal student loan payments are set to resume on 10/1. All of this is a recipe for tough times. 

So what do we do about it? First, I'll inventory the crappy advice I'm hearing all around me:

• Sell all of your stock investments.

• Buy gold.

• Buy real estate (regardless of its price and affordability).

• Apply for HELOCs, credit cards, and other forms of debt.

• Buy crypto

All of this is advice being pedaled by so-called experts. Well, they are experts, actually. They are experts at what they are experts in (i.e., not finances), but then talk about these topics, and their credibility transfers with it. My wife regularly shares ideas she hears from very smart people she follows online and in the media. Brilliant people in their own right. They should be listened to when it comes to their areas of expertise. Then, however, they start spouting opinions about these other things....and people just blindly believe them. 

I'm not suggesting you should listen to me, though. I'll let you decide for yourself. If you do decide to heed my advice, here are a few simple things we can each do to prepare for what's probably a rough road ahead:

• Get intentional. Make a plan each month, then execute it. Know what you'll do, do it, and know you did it. Budgeting.....the dreaded b-word.

• Make sure your investments are simple and straight-forward. Invest broadly and cheaply. I'm a big fan of total stock market index funds. With a few clicks of the mouse, you can own one fund, with 500-4,000 different companies, with almost zero fees. 

• Once your investments are locked in, don't touch them....ever. Don't let fear get the best of you. In the 155-year history of our stock market, there's never been a 15-year window where the market lost money....ever. 

• Make sure you have an emergency fund. Set some money aside in a savings account. Use it only for real emergencies. 

• Serve and give to people in need. Generosity always wins. 

• Surround yourself with encouraging people. 

• Live a meaningful life. If we let it, there's always something to scare us and keep us awake at night. Block it out and make the best of each day.

We'll get through it!

Value and Context, Context and Value

I'm particularly fond of one specific budgeting app. Well, let me clarify. They have two versions: one free and one paid. I'm fond of the paid version and severely dislike the free version. The paid version costs $80/year.

Whenever I meet with a new client interested in using an app or software for their budgeting, I highly recommend the paid version. Considering they are already paying me to coach them, the last thing they want to do is spend another $80/year on an app. I totally get it! However, I always add, "it will be the best $80 you ever spend."

It's not that I'm trying to get my client to spend money. Rather, I know how much value there is for their $80 investment. Going the premium version route will easily save them 18 hours per year (1.5 hours per month). More importantly, however, going the free route will likely end up with them giving up and quitting......which is a far worse outcome.

This brings me to the idea of value. If this $80 investment will save 18 hours per year, that works out to $4.44/hour. Is your time worth less than $5/hour? I didn't think so! Further, if this $80 investment could possibly be the make or break between you thriving financially and quitting in disgust, is it worth the investment? Ab-so-freaking-lutely! Put that way, it truly may be the best $80 you ever spend.

Whenever we spend money, we shouldn't ask ourselves if we can afford it. We shouldn't ask ourselves if the price is low or high. We shouldn't ask ourselves if it's a need or a want. Those are fine questions to ask. The primary question we need to ask ourselves is how much value we are getting for the cost. If we're getting more value than the cost, it's probably worth the investment. If we're getting less value, probably not.

But value is in the eyes of the beholder. We all perceive value differently, and value can also be contextual. Here's an example. You walk into a convenience store and see an array of bottled water products on the shelf. Some cost $.99, but another costs $5. The perceived value of that $5 water probably doesn't feel so great.

Later that day, you're watching your favorite baseball team at the ballpark. The sun is shining, it's 90 degrees out, and you're parched. That same $5 bottle of water suddenly becomes the best $5 you'll spend all day. The value changes when the context changes.

Back to the budgeting example. If someone is casually interested in budgeting but isn't really committed to making changes in their life, that $80 investment is like throwing money in the trash. On the other hand, if they are focused, determined, and ready to kick butt, that $80 investment may be the gateway to life change.

Context matters. Seek value.

Because Every Month Is Different

July has been absolutely bonkers for our family. By the time July comes to a close, one of both of us (Sarah or I) will have been traveling for 23 of the 31 days of the month. It’s a combination of work, fun, and family. With crazy summer travel comes a very common occurrence in households all across the country. Finances can become chaotic, unpredictable, and laxidazical. I have this conversation with clients all the time, reminding them they aren’t alone.

This brings into focus a topic I talk about frequently. Not only is it important to budget, but it’s important to make each month’s budget unique. Not doing so is one of the primary drivers for people struggling with finances in the summer. If you’re used to spending xyz on certain categories, summer will be like a grenade that lands in the middle of all of it…..and explodes.

Sarah and I knew July was going to be nuts, so we planned for the nuts. Since we’re on the road a lot, we cut back on groceries, but increased the dining out budget. We have less money allocated for the house, and more for the trips. Even the source of our income shifts in the summer, so we take that into account as well. The plan is never perfect, but we simply do the best we can.

When we take this proactive approach and enter new, unique months with intentionality, alignment, and a purpose, even the most chaotic situation can feel manageable. It’s been an awesome month. Lots of memories, lots of experiences, and lots of adventures. But when the dust settles, it won’t hinder us financially. I know this because the plan says so. I hope you’re having an awesome month, as well! And while you do, I hope you feel the same level of intentionality and control over your finances. You deserve it!

Comfort or Impact

For nearly two years, Cole has been prodding me to record a specific episode I desperately fought against. His idea was simple: He would join me on the mics, and we would each detail our family's monthly budget...bit by bit. Yes, one of the things I try to focus on when creating content is vulnerability and transparency. Honesty always wins. However, the episode Cole was proposing was about seven steps further than I was comfortable going. I've discussed all sorts of personal financial and non-financial topics on the podcast and blog. However, this idea was something completely different. It was beyond my level of comfort.

A few weeks ago, he finally beat me into submission and we recorded the episode. I dreaded the moments leading up to it, the actual recording was fine (I always love being on the mics), and I dreaded it every day until it was published....then I dreaded it some more. As Cole predicted, it quickly gained traction and will likely become one of our top 10 most downloaded episodes ever.....much to my chagrin.

Cole and I have received much feedback about the episode since it was published. Here's the interesting part, though. The feedback rarely has anything to do with money. Rather, it revolves around the values and principles we discussed in and around the budget. Topics such as parenting, marriage, faith, generosity, and inheritances. It's as I always say: money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. I think this episode perfectly reflects that concept. We sat down to talk about money, but instead, we ended up talking about what really matters most.

It's fun to see the impact this episode is having on people. Spouses are listening to it together, then using it as the basis for their own conversations. It's giving couples new topics to discuss, such as personal spending, investing in the marriage, and what it means to "provide" for their children. It's providing outside context to help people recognize they aren't the only ones struggling with inflation, putting all the pieces together, and prioritization.

I fought this for two years, but here we are. If my comfort had continued to win out, this impact wouldn't happen. I can have comfort or impact, but I can't have both. It's a sobering lesson for someone who talks about this very principle on a weekly basis. "I told you so" probably won't come out of Cole's mouth, so I'll just name it here. Cole, you told me so. Right on, my man. Keep pushing me when I need to be pushed. We can have comfort or impact, but we can't have both.

If you want to listen to this episode, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Following a Budget Goes Both Ways

I received a text from my wife yesterday afternoon. "What do you want to do for dinner?" Knowing it was a Friday and the last day of the month, I immediately opened my budgeting app to see if we had any dining out money left. $76!!! I guess that's what happens when we're gone for half the month. Knowing we had a nice chunk of change remaining, we made a family date night out of it. We walked to a local pizza restaurant, then to a nearby ice cream shop. We had a blast!

There's a massive misunderstanding about budgeting. Budgeting it's about spending less.....it's about spending better. Yes, budgeting well keeps us from overspending. But it goes both ways! Budgeting, when done healthily, also prevents us from underspending. Spending better means being intentional, spending on our values, and removing negative emotions such as guilt, resentment, fear, and worry.

Many people would look at that extra $72 and proclaim it a win. Yay, we came in under budget!!!! But Sarah and I negotiated our budget at the beginning of the month, and we promised each other this was what we would spend money on. Us going out for a fun night was our way of honoring what we promised ourselves and each other. Just like we promised to pay our rent and life insurance, we promised to spend this money on dining out. It has to go both ways. We can't use a budget to only prevent us from having too much fun.....it also needs to encourage us to have fun. It's a tool to align our money with our values. And last night, our values pointed toward spending intentional time with the boys, creating memories, and enjoying some tasty food together.

The moment we treat budgeting like a one-way, fun-hating tool of cheapness and saving (er, hoarding), is the moment budgeting completely sucks. When that occurs, we start treating our life like a giant game of let's-try-to-live-like-broke-college-students-so-one-day-we'll-have-even-more. You know the problem with more, right? Every time we get more, more is still more.

There's a better way, and the better way is to have it both ways. Let the budget prevent us from coming off the rails AND let the budget force us to do the fun things we promised ourselves we would do. If more people viewed and handled money this way, budgeting may no longer be a four-letter word in most marriages.

Here’s the plan:

1. Make a budget on or around the first of the month.

2. Make sure your budget aligns with your values.

3. Do what you said you were going to do.

4. Track it.

5. Have fun!

6. Repeat.

If you follow these six simple steps, I promise you’ll find more joy, more peace, more intentionality, more unity, and more progress. Have a great day!

Losing Together

Here’s the scenario. We have a married couple, with combined finances, and a shared vision. By all accounts, this is an amazing couple. They love each other deeply and genuinely love being married to one another. In the course of living life, one spouse makes a financial mistake. I’m not talking about buying a jar of chunky peanut butter when your spouse wanted creamy. I’m talking about a mistake that will inevitably cost the family nearly $1,000.

This recently played out with one of my clients. It’s not an uncommon scenario, though. Life moves fast and we make hundreds of decisions each day…..often under stress, unknowns, and time constraints. There are a lot of ways this type of situation can play out, but here’s how it often does. The mistake-making spouse, out of a feeling of guilt and obligation, chooses to personally eat this cost. For a family that practices the use of personal spending, this individual will elect to pay for it out of their personal spending (either upfront or over time). The other spouse, also possibly upset about the situation, is more than happy to let the other person eat it. After all, it is their fault, and they should pay for their mistake.

It’s easy to go down that route, but I can tell you with utmost certainty, that it’s a toxic way to handle it. I would know because Sarah and I have done it…..multiple times. However, at some point in the journey, I realized we were missing the point. We should win together AND lose together. When one of us succeeds, we both succeed. If that’s true, then when one of us fails, we both should fail…..together. It’s not about keeping score, punishing the other spouse, or being vindictive. It should be about rallying around each other, taking care of business, learning a valuable lesson, and putting it in the rear-view mirror.

Coincidentally, we had a terrible (but fun) moment in our house yesterday. I opened the mail to find a $100 speeding ticket triggered by an automated speed camera. After examining the facts of the matter, I realized it was clearly Sarah who is the criminal. She was visibly upset when I told her about it, but her go-to response WASN’T to immediately try to eat it herself. Instead, she asked when it’s due and started pondering where it will come from in the budget. I’m frustrated with her, and she feels guilty, but we’ll eat it together and quickly put it in the rearview mirror. That’s how it should work.

It won’t be her last mistake, and unfortunately, I’ll probably make my fair share as well. We’ll continue losing together, and hopefully, you do, too.

Simplicity For the Win

Later today, I’ll be hosting a workshop in Los Angeles about getting a better grasp on our finances. The general expectation in the room will likely be for me to launch into a diatribe about budgeting, spending less, and saving more. If I’m being honest, that would be boring. For as simple as that topic is, I want to go even more simple. Behind this idea is my theory that we humans tend to overcomplicate things every step of the way…..our money included.

Asking someone to do simple things when they’ve already structured their base financial life in an unintentionally complex way is a fool’s errand. This is one of the biggest reasons people are unable to change and make positive strides with their finances. To get one level simpler, I like to discuss core values, basic account structure, and to gain self-awareness of what’s happening in their life. It’s only then we can move into budgeting and other similar topics. Once we know some of these basics, we can begin the process of simplifying and consolidating to whatever extent is needed.

If we start complex with our finances, it will inevitably get more complex over time. If we start simple, we have a chance to build simple. Then if we build simple, we have a chance to continue building simple. It takes a lot of intentionality, but it’s worth the endeavor.

“Travis, you try to make things too simple.” That’s one of the best insults I can get. If someone is thinking that, then I know we’re on the right track. Complex doesn’t mean we’re smart or sophisticated. It just means we are complex. Simplicity, on the other hand, can free us and empower us. The simpler we can make it, the less brain power and more energy we can put behind it.

So ask yourself the same question I try to ask myself (and my clients) on a regular basis: “Is there a way to make this simpler?” If the answer is yes, we have work to do. If the answer is no, then we’re as simple as we need to be. Simplicity for the win.

A Friendly Reminder

This is just a friendly reminder that using credit cards in no way makes our life better. In fact, it brings a litany of negatives that range from minor inconveniences to utter destruction. This is an opinion I’ve had for more than a decade, and each week I get more convicted in it.

I have two clients that have made significant financial progress in the last few years. By “significant”, I’m referring to life-changing, trajectory-altering, “holy cow I can’t believe that just happened” significant. It’s worth noting both of these families made this progress after ceasing to use credit cards. It wasn’t a coincidence. Getting rid of credit cards is the gateway to finally gaining full clarity, control, and transparency of our finances. It’s an unpopular opinion, but I’ll die on that hill.

Then, something happened. Both of these families recently decided, for different reasons, to start using credit cards again. Nothing major. Just a few purchases here and a few purchases there. They’ll pay it off in a few weeks after xyz happens. Nothing wrong with getting some cash back. It’s “more secure” than using debit. They won’t pay any interest because they have the money to pay it off. You know, all the common tropes. It seems so innocent. No big deal. But in a matter of just a few months, a few things happened:

• They lost clarity in their monthly budget because using a credit card separates the purchase from the payment. Timing gets altered and it’s hard to keep track.

• They lost touch with what they were spending money on, as the credit card payment includes a myriad of different items all lumped together.

• They felt stressed out, anxious, and frustrated. Our meetings were different. They went from excited and optimistic to stressed out and nervous. You could cut the tension with a knife.

• The strong momentum they had previously experienced had slowed to a crawl as they had to re-focus their energies on getting clarity, control, and a zero balance.

These people aren’t dumb. They aren’t irresponsible. They aren’t negligent. In fact, they are some of the brightest and most successful people I know. They are well-known figures in their respective communities. They simply fell for the trap so many of us do. Their decision to start using credit cards again is like the person who hits the gym hard and eats healthy, gets extremely fit, then decides to stop going to the gym and eating healthy because they’re pretty healthy and don’t need to worry about it.

I know this is a controversial opinion, but they deserve better…..and you deserve better.

Wiping the Slate Clean

Has this ever happened to you? Life gets intense. Maybe it’s sickness, relational turmoil, job stress, or just being too busy. In the midst of life hitting so hard, you lose sight of your finances. You forget to do a few things, fail to track your spending, or perhaps don’t have a budget to begin with. Money is the last thing on your mind and it is what it is. Can you relate?

Most people can, at some point or another. When we hit a season like this, there’s a common sequence of events that can happen. You look at your situation and think, a) I don’t even want to know how much I messed up, b) that’s a lot of tracking to go back and recreate, and c) the hole feels too deep to dig out of. When we have one or more of these thoughts, it leads us to simply do nothing. Out of sight, out of mind. We choose to ignore it, which propels us to ignore it some more, which makes us want to permanently ignore it. Some would call that quitting….and you wouldn’t be alone.

I occasionally have clients who experience some version of this. It’s usually accompanied by a lot of guilt, stress, and frustration. My response is quite simple: “The past is the past. There’s no need to dwell on it. Let’s just wipe the slate clean and get a fresh start next month.” On one hand, this seems like an irresponsible decision. After all, knowing what happened is important…..it provides learning and accountability. True, very true. However, if the idea of hashing through the past creates paralysis, it does zero good. At some point, we need to focus our eyes on the present and the future. It’s amazing to see the faces of people when I ask them to simply move forward and leave the past alone. There’s a freedom in that decision that allows them to embrace what’s right in front of them. It can quickly turn into a springboard to regain momentum and progress.

That’s the thing with money. Money is NEVER about money. It’s always about something bigger. Life can be heavy, hectic, and busy. In the midst of it, you messed up. So what?!? You aren’t perfect and were never supposed to be. Please give yourself grace today…..you deserve it!

Through the Lens of Opportunity Cost

Let’s say you want to spend money on something. It could be a number of things. A new car, a fresh wardrobe, private school for your kids, or maybe a trip to Disney. Let’s also say this particular item is important to you. If it’s important to you, it’s important (other people’s opinions don’t count). Let’s assume this purchase is highly important to you.

Where is the money going to come from? No, this isn’t a pay with debt vs. a pay with cash type conversation. Whether you use debt or pay with cash, the question still stands. Where is the money going to come from? There’s no free pass. This is the essence of opportunity cost. Every time we spend one dollar on item A, it’s one less dollar we can spend on items B, C, D, E, etc. Whenever we elect to spend money on something, something else suffers. I’m not saying this through the lens of negativity, but rather a simple reality.

Let’s say you’re planning to save up for a trip to Disney…..call it $8,000. If you really want to spend $8,000 on a trip to Disney, great. But where is the money going to come from? The simple (and recommended) answer is that you’ll set money aside in your sinking fund each month until you have enough. But where is the money going to come from? Maybe you decide to set aside $500/month for the next 16 months. The most important question isn’t whether or not you should do it, but rather what you’ll give up as a consequence. That’s $500 that won’t go somewhere else……so what is that something else?

This question gets to the heart of aligning our values with our behaviors. It forces us to look at each part of our life objectively, prioritize, then act. If you do that in earnest, you may decide not to go to Disney. Or you may immediately decide Disney is important, then discern what to give up in order to make it happen. But there’s a very real cost either way.

Here’s a quick idea of how to execute this:

1. Make a list of all the things in your financial life that are wants (i.e. not your basic needs to survive). This includes items such as dining out, travel, entertainment, extra debt payments, investing, etc.

2. Put a monthly dollar amount next to each of these items.

3. Prioritize them in order of most important to least important.

4. Determine which ones make the cut in your monthly budget this month (i.e. there’s enough money to fund it), and execute accordingly.

5. Repeat this process every so often to ensure you continue to align your values with your behavior.

When you do this, you’ll say yes to your yes’s and no to your no’s. It’s not always easy, but you will most certainly find more contentment and satisfaction when you know you’re pursuing what really matters to you.

It's (Not) Just an Exercise

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. No, not because it’s NBA playoff time (though that helps!). It’s the final session of my high school money class. During our time together, we’re going to do one of my favorite exercises, which is meant to help them understand what young adult life looks like. Until now, they have very little income, very few bills, and very little need to be fully intentional with their finances. That will surely change within the next handful of years. In the exercise, I give them a theoretical young adult monthly income, a handful of known monthly expenses, and ask them to create a full monthly budget for the life they want to live. The energy is always high, they complete the exercise with optimism, and it ends up being a referendum on their values/interests.

Then, it gets fun (for me, at least). After completing this budget, I ask them to draw pieces of paper from a hat. Each piece of paper has a dollar figure on it, representing the monthly debt payments they’ve put into their life through the choices they’ve made. Student loans, car loans, and credit cards. I explain to them that many decisions will be made between now and when they start this theoretical budget. For every decision they make, there’s a consequence (positive or negative), and these consequences will impact our life (financial and otherwise) for years to come.

The next step of the exercise is for them to do the same budget process as before, but this time factor in the monthly debt payment they pulled out of the hat. This is where the mood changes. I can see the stress on their faces build as they try to make the numbers work with this new reality of debt. Many of their wants/hobbies get removed, their giving shrinks, and they must find ways to get creative with housing and other basic needs. Needless to say, the tone shifts from optimistic to frustrated and overwhelmed.

While this is an innocent exercise for them, it’s the reality for millions of adults. Many of us have made decisions that resulted in negative consequences for years/decades to come. Myself included! While we can’t go back and magically undo any of them, each day presents an opportunity to make different decisions for our future selves. More importantly, we all have younger people in our lives who still have a chance to avoid many of the painful outcomes we’ve experienced. Let’s encourage and equip them! They deserve it.

"Daddy, When Does the New Month Start?"

I was expecting a lot of feedback after yesterday’s post, and I was not disappointed. Some people had some questions. Some people shared their own experiences and how it’s negatively impacted them for literally decades. Some people had mixed feelings about my advice. Some people, who use money as a weapon with their kids, defended using money as a weapon with their kids. Lastly, some people interpreted the post as me advocating that we as parents not talk to our kids about money. This is where today’s post comes in.

I absolutely think we should talk to our kids about money. Yesterday’s post was about not using money as a weapon to make kids feel guilty. What does it look like to talk to our kids about money in a healthy way? First, it needs to be contextual to their age. When my kids were 3-4, we simply talked about what money is and what it’s for. At five, we practiced what it looks like to separate our money into buckets for spending and giving. Then, we’d literally hop in the car to a) stop at church so the kids can give, then b) stop at Target so the kids could buy a toy. Pretty simple stuff. To be honest, we don’t talk about money a lot in our house. I bring it up once in a while when there’s a relevant way to tie it into the conversation/activity. The conversations usually revolve around generosity, fun experiences we can do together, things we’re saving for, and the status of our budget. We always talk about ideas, not numbers……they are 6, after all. I sometimes wonder if these conversations have any impact on them. But once in a while, they say some very insightful things. For example, here’s a recent conversation I had out of the blue with one of our 6-year-olds:

Finn: “Daddy, when does the new month start?”

Me: “In a few days, bud. Why do you ask?”

Finn: “Can we put some money in the budget to go to the new Mario movie?”

Me: “Of course! There’s definitely money in there for that.”

Finn: “Enough for popcorn, too?”

Me: “Yeah man, we’ll get popcorn, too!”

They know we have a plan. They know there’s money specifically set aside for certain categories. They know money can be used for many different things….including generosity and fun experiences. They know it’s finite. They also know we respect and follow the budget. There have been plenty of times when we’ve said “no” because there wasn’t any money left for that category this month. It doesn’t mean we’re poor or don’t love them. Rather, we’re modeling what it looks like to be disciplined and God-honoring with our finances. So when the topic of money comes up in our house, it’s never about there “not being enough”, but rather creating priorities and sticking to a plan. If done well, this will prevent kids from developing a scarcity mindset, or on the other hand, becoming entitled and spoiled. Kids absorb this like a sponge…..both the good and the bad.

We all carry financial baggage with us from our childhoods. It’s too late for all of us adults…..we can’t go back and undo it. But we have a chance to give our kids better. One conversation, one example, one action at a time.

Protecting Yourself From Yourself

In a recent meeting, someone told me about how they invest in their company’s stock from each paycheck. This in and of itself isn’t worth writing about…..lots of people do this. What she said next is what drew me in. “I really don’t know if this is the best investment, but it makes sure I don’t spend it on something else. I know it’s there.” This is one of the countless ways people play games with themselves to achieve something. Or as I like to call it, “protecting yourself from yourself.”

As I meet with people, lots of versions of this story are told. Lots of interesting ideas, ranging from practical to absurd. Lots of people automate their savings/investing as if it were a utility bill. One friend pays extra on their mortgage instead of saving for their next house to ensure they can’t repurpose that money for a different use. One client loves buying shoes, but knows she could easily overdo it in the shoe-shopping department. Therefore, she only buys a pair of shoes if she accomplishes certain goals in her business. Another client knows they struggle to spend money on themselves (to an unhealthy extent). So we’ve created a structure so that every time they spend money on their kids, they also spend a certain amount on themselves. Another friend, due to some bad (really bad!) childhood experiences growing up, struggled to spend money on dining out. They budgeted for it, but never spent it. I helped them negotiate a ridiculous rule where if there is any unused money in their dining out budget at the end of each month, they have to give it to one of their in-laws. They really don’t want to give money to their in-laws, so they miraculously started spending it each month. Over time, they’ve not only gotten comfortable spending it, but actually learned to enjoy it.

I have a few of my own. In my pursuit to become a more generous person, I recognized the allure investing had on me. Knowing how investing works, how powerful it can be, and frankly just liking the process of it, I knew it could potentially inhibit my giving journey. Therefore, we negotiated a rule in our house about a decade ago. Never again would we invest more than we give. We have to give at least as much as we invest. No exceptions. This one simple decision has transformed the way we approach finances, investing, and generosity. It was a simple decision, with simple implementation, with powerful results. Protecting myself from myself.

What are some ways you protect yourself from yourself? I’d love to hear your ideas, whether they are practical or absurd.

Gaining Control When It's Simple(r)

I recently met with a new 22-year-old coaching client. There’s something special about working with young people. They have big dreams, a ton of passion, and the energy to match it. They also have something else many of us more senior people don’t have: simplicity. Many young adults don’t have spouses, kids, houses, or weighty financial entanglements……yet. Instead, they have small bank accounts, a few assets, and a lot of time in front of them.

We, humans, are really good at making our lives progressively more complicated. These young adults will inevitably make their lives more complicated in due time, as well. However, I’m blessed with the opportunity to help some of them gain control of their finances where they stand today. This is a huge win, as it’s always easy to learn a new concept when it’s simple. Simple is good. As we parsed through his very short list of financial considerations, I knew something he doesn’t yet know. This is going to be a really easy process for him. Far easier than for most.

Many people come to me in their 40s, when life is anything but simple. Yes, someone at that stage can absolutely gain control and learn how to handle their finances better…..and I’m so excited for them when they do! Everyone can do it! But it’s trickier. There are more pieces to wrangle, less time to do it, and it’s tougher to gain control. That’s the beautiful part about being young. When you’re young, you have the opportunity to learn this stuff when it’s easy…..so that you can grow into it when life inevitably gets more complicated.

Today’s message is two-fold. First, it’s never too late or too early to gain control. your life is likelier simpler today than it will be in the future. So take control now and grow into your future life! Second, encourage the young people in your life to lean into these topics now, when they are young and life is simple. If they do, their future selves will feverishly thank their younger selves for the generous and sacrificial act.

Don't Gut the Good Stuff

Let me lay out a scenario. You go into the month with a solid financial plan. You’ve prioritized your needs, wants, giving, and saving. The plan is set and you’re feeling really good about it. Then, just like that, life hits. Maybe it’s a medical situation. Maybe your income is a little lower than you thought. Maybe the car needs some unexpected work. But in any case, something happens. How do you correct it?

Most people in our culture don’t, unfortunately. Instead, they whip out the credit card, quickly “fix” the problem by dropping the new expenses on the card, then move on with life. Fortunately, most of my clients don’t own credit cards and would not take this route. But the problem still needs to be fixed. What do you do to fix it?

Many times, our gut reaction is to simply rip away some of the money allocated to the fun categories. Personal spending, dining out, entertainment, and travel are likely candidates. It’s easy to steal money from these categories. After all, you don’t “need” it. There are a few problems with this approach:

1) Life happens……then life happens again….then it will probably happen again. It’s something this month, but it may be something else next month. If our gut reaction is to constantly steal from the good categories, these categories will be perpetually abused when life inevitably happens.

2) Wants are important. I’m not going to say our wants are more important than some of the other categories, but I will say they are just as important. We need some fun things in our financial plan. They add richness and act as a release valve. When we constantly cut them from our budget, the tension builds and a future blow-up starts to build.

3) When we simply give up fun things to make the numbers work, we train ourselves to handle all unforeseen situations in this manner instead of preventing them from happening in the future. It becomes a coping mechanism and we’ll perpetually suffer because of it.

Yes, we need to be responsible and address issues as they come up. No, we don’t always need to gut our fun categories in order to make it happen. Give yourself permission to have fun, even when life happens. Strike that……especially when life happens.

The Dreaded B-Word

I talk about budgeting every single day. It’s a cornerstone of my coaching. It’s not because I especially love budgeting, but rather because of how important it is. It’s so important, in my perspective, that we need to get that right if we want to achieve the other financial goals in our life. People will often tell me they do great without a budget. That may be partially true, but they also don’t know what they don’t know. From my experience, they are driving a 5-speed transmission but only think it has 3 gears. 3rd gear feels really fast if you’ve never experienced a 4th or 5th gear. Something very powerful is unlocked when budgeting is done right.

I get it, the idea of budgeting is terrible. Most people (fairly) assume budgeting will suck the fun out of their life. That’s simply how budgeting is approached by the vast majority of our financial world. Stop spending, be responsible, cut back. We treat it as a crash diet. I think we’re missing the point. The objective of a budget isn’t to spend less, but rather to spend better. It’s a way to live out our values. So through the lens of “spend less”, yeah, I’d hate budgeting, too. But through the lens of “spend better”, budgeting gives us life. It’s a tangible way to execute our hopes, dreams, values, and principles.

Last week, one of my 6-year-olds approached me and asked, “Daddy, when is the end of the month?” When I asked him why, he responded, “because I want to go to Chuck-E-Cheese and thought we could put Chuck-E-Cheese in the new budget.” “Yeah, bud, let’s put it in the budget next month. That will be a lot of fun. What else should we put into the budget?”

Even at 6, he’s realizing this money stuff shouldn’t suck. It shouldn’t rip the fun and enjoyment out of life. It shouldn’t hinder our ability to live a quality life. He’s already learning that it’s a way that we can intentionally plan for fun things and live out our family’s values.

As this week begins, I encourage you to look at money through the lens of “spend better”, not “spend less.”

Spending YOUR Values

As a culture, we’ve collectively decided what’s a “responsible” thing to do with money, and what’s foolish.

• Spending money on something you don’t need = foolish

• Buying a house = responsible

• Spending money on rent = foolish

• $30,000/year on college = responsible

• $300 at a nice restaurant = foolish

• Buying a new car and financing it = responsible

• Buying a big-screen TV and video game system = foolish

We hear some of these things so much that we often take them for granted and it quickly becomes a universal truth. As we do with many things, we turn money and spending decisions into a black-and-white conversation. This is one of the main reasons why most people don’t have a good alignment between their values and their financial behaviors. They say one thing, then do another. At the heart of this incongruency is the reality most of us lock into culture’s values instead of taking time to discern what OUR values are.

Here’s a very simple, but perfect, example. One of my friends shared that her family members often criticize her for her expensive gym membership. Now, it is in fact true her gym membership cost is higher than average. However, I need to add one relevant fact to the equation. She’s a fitness competitor, personal trainer, and model! This is literally what she does for a living…..and it’s her passion. Her expensive gym membership completely aligns with her values. For me, that gym membership would be absurd. For her, it’s perfect. Context matters!

Each person, family, situation, dream, calling, and value is different. Thus, each of us needs to make our own choices that align with these things. One family I know spends several thousand dollars per month on dining out because it’s the path of least resistance. When I ask them if they enjoy it, they say, “no.” It’s not fun for them, it doesn’t add a lot of value, and they worry about the health implications. Another family spends a similar amount, except the reason is different. They deeply enjoy going out to a nice dinner with friends, sharing a bottle of wine, trying new cuisines, and creating memories. For them, it’s one of the best things they do with money. In my opinion, I view this expense as responsible for one family and foolish for the other. Context matters.

What’s something you find valuable in your life that culture would say is foolish? Drop a comment down below. Have an awesome day!

A Fresh Start

I’m a big advocate for people creating a new budget each month. We don’t have to recreate the wheel each month, but every month is different. For most, it works well to start with last month’s budget and simply make some adjustments that are contextual to the month ahead. Doing this allows us to specifically plan for what life will bring us this month. Maybe it’s a trip coming up, a wedding you’ll attend, or some back-to-school clothes for the kids. So many different factors can play into what this month will look like.

But this post isn’t about the nuts and bolts of budgeting. Instead, I want to go a bit deeper. Some of the biggest issues we face in our finances are failure, guilt, and resentment. We screw up, then beat ourselves up, then get beat up by our partner…..and it lingers…..for a long time. This is one of the reasons why money-related issues are the #1 cause of divorce in our country. There’s so much emotion tied to it, and it’s easy for things to get tightly wound.

This is where the idea of monthly budgeting comes in. When we do it this way, sometime between 1 and 30 days from now we get a clean slate, a fresh start, and a blank canvas. It allows us to put last month’s mistakes behind us. It doesn’t make it disappear, but we learn from it, set it aside, and simply move on. This is a real game-changer for many people. That hard reset each month can be refreshing, and very much what the doctor ordered.

Though Sarah and I have been doing monthly budgets together for more than 13 years, sometimes we fail. Mistakes are made. Sometimes it’s negligence, other times it’s circumstantial, while occasionally we just get a bad break. Regardless, getting that fresh start the following month is a relief and provides us a sense of optimism.

Give yourself that fresh start. You deserve it!

Giving Money a Purpose

Yesterday, I was in the middle of a coaching session with a new client (they are awesome!) when a hugely important topic came up. I was walking them through the idea and execution of sinking funds (i.e. separate named bank accounts for specific categories - travel, house, car, medical, etc.) I don’t remember the exact wording, but to paraphrase, they were curious why someone would do it this way rather than just having all the money in one account and mentally earmarked for future use. I absolutely love this question!

In theory, having all the money in one big pot would achieve the same purpose….and be administratively easier. However, in practice, it makes a world of difference. Here are a few reasons why:

Commitment: If we house all our money in one big pot, we can just make an impulsive decision and mentally reallocate the funds from one use to another. It takes no energy or work to butcher months (or possibly years) of work. When we separate these funds into unique accounts that are specifically named for that use, we’re less likely to reallocate this money for a different use. Doing so requires us to consciously make a decision and physically transfer money from one fund to another.

Emotion: If we house all our money in one big pot, it’s easy for us to feel guilty or regretful about a particular decision we’ve made. For example, let’s say we’ve set aside some money for a trip to Disney. The moment we feel financial stress, we’ll think to ourselves, “well maybe there’s a more responsible use for this money. After all, I don’t NEED this trip.” And just like that, we’ve dismantled our trip and all the amazing memories that surely would have come from it. When we separate these same funds into our travel sinking fund, it’s clear what these monies are for. There’s no doubt about it. “Travel Fund.” It’s literally in the name of the bank account! When we do this, we’re emotionally able to let go of the guilt and the regret, and simply go enjoy that trip. It sounds silly, but it’s true!

Administrative: The idea of sinking funds sounds administratively difficult. After all, having multiple accounts seems more complex than having fewer accounts. However, the execution is an entirely different story. When we push money into these accounts each month as part of our budget, it’s clear where the money goes. When we want to know how much money we have for our next trip, there’s an account balance staring at us. And when we start spending these funds (plane tickets, hotels, gas, etc.), we always know where we stand with the remaining balance. In other words, we get transparency, and with that transparency comes better decisions.

If you’re interested in setting up sinking funds for your finances, most credit unions allow it. Most banks don’t, with one exception being Wells Fargo. If your bank doesn’t (like mine), CapitalOne 360 Performance Savings accounts work great. I’ve been using this platform for more than 15 years, as do many of my clients. If you want to hear more about sinking funds, we did a podcast episode about the topic back in June 2021. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Have an amazing day!