Protecting Yourself From Yourself
In a recent meeting, someone told me about how they invest in their company’s stock from each paycheck. This in and of itself isn’t worth writing about…..lots of people do this. What she said next is what drew me in. “I really don’t know if this is the best investment, but it makes sure I don’t spend it on something else. I know it’s there.” This is one of the countless ways people play games with themselves to achieve something. Or as I like to call it, “protecting yourself from yourself.”
As I meet with people, lots of versions of this story are told. Lots of interesting ideas, ranging from practical to absurd. Lots of people automate their savings/investing as if it were a utility bill. One friend pays extra on their mortgage instead of saving for their next house to ensure they can’t repurpose that money for a different use. One client loves buying shoes, but knows she could easily overdo it in the shoe-shopping department. Therefore, she only buys a pair of shoes if she accomplishes certain goals in her business. Another client knows they struggle to spend money on themselves (to an unhealthy extent). So we’ve created a structure so that every time they spend money on their kids, they also spend a certain amount on themselves. Another friend, due to some bad (really bad!) childhood experiences growing up, struggled to spend money on dining out. They budgeted for it, but never spent it. I helped them negotiate a ridiculous rule where if there is any unused money in their dining out budget at the end of each month, they have to give it to one of their in-laws. They really don’t want to give money to their in-laws, so they miraculously started spending it each month. Over time, they’ve not only gotten comfortable spending it, but actually learned to enjoy it.
I have a few of my own. In my pursuit to become a more generous person, I recognized the allure investing had on me. Knowing how investing works, how powerful it can be, and frankly just liking the process of it, I knew it could potentially inhibit my giving journey. Therefore, we negotiated a rule in our house about a decade ago. Never again would we invest more than we give. We have to give at least as much as we invest. No exceptions. This one simple decision has transformed the way we approach finances, investing, and generosity. It was a simple decision, with simple implementation, with powerful results. Protecting myself from myself.
What are some ways you protect yourself from yourself? I’d love to hear your ideas, whether they are practical or absurd.