The Path of Least Resistance

As a kid, I was fascinated by the section in science class where they showed images of how rivers changed shape over time. As sediment is carried and eventually dropped, the speed and direction of the water flow shifts, carving a different path into the earth. The water constantly follows the path of least resistance.

Human behavior is much the same way. Whenever we have an array of options in front of us, we're likely to select the path of least resistance. We can get out of bed, drive to the gym, and get a workout in......or just stay in bed for another hour. The path of least resistance. We can prepare lunch the night before work.....or we can just grab a sandwich at the deli next to our office. The path of least resistance.

This is one of the many reasons I suggest clients cancel their credit cards. This suggestion is often met with eye-rolling and a staunch defense that includes something like "I'm always responsible with it." These comments are typically combined with defenses revolving around the benefit of points, the fact they pay them off every month, the perception they are safer, and the fact they are building credit.

One problem. Eventually, the path of least resistance will come into play. Two families in my life are living this reality as we speak. I've suggested for years that both these families cancel their credit cards. One family doesn't even use them....hasn't for years. It's "just in case," and that's what I'm afraid of.

As I always say, credit cards seem like our friend.....until they become our worst nightmare. Fast forward a few years, and both families are facing financial challenges. It's a combination of medical, auto, house, and job-related situations. Both of these families handle their money relatively well. They've made good decisions and are going in the right direction. One problem, though. They still have active credit cards. Just like the sediment in rivers, financial challenges will cause us to seek the path of least resistance. After all, pain hurts. Stress sucks. Tension puts a strain on relationships. There's a simple way around all that. It's the path of least resistance. Out comes the credit card.

We're going to use it just this one time, though. Well, maybe just the things we need. Then it shifts to putting everything on there because seeing our savings dwindling is scary. But just this month. Next month we'll get on top of things and back to normal. Except the path of least resistance didn't actually make this better. It just dropped more sediment, causing us to push deeper into the path of least resistance. Fast forward a few months, and our reality looks much different. We went from the family who said, "credit cards are great if we use them responsibly," to another statistic. Tens of thousands of dollars in expensive debt, in the snap of your fingers.

My heart breaks for what these families are now dealing with.

The Psychology of Mountain Coasters

The other day, I took my kids to a place called Rush Mountain Adventure Park. It’s a great little place tucked just outside of Keystone, SD. It features a handful of attractions, but none greater than the mountain coaster. It’s less of a coaster and more of a toboggan ride…..but it’s wonderful!

I’m a sucker for behavioral science, especially when it has to do with money and work. Rush Mountain also apparently loves behavioral science as well, as they greatly use it to their advantage. When we arrived, the goal was to take the kids down the coaster once, plus maybe throw in a giant zip line ride. The mountain coaster was $20/ride, and I believe the zip line was $15/ride. In that moment, I decided to buy one ticket for each…..so $35 per person. Certainly not cheap, but it looked like a fun experience to share with my kids. This is when the behavioral science part kicked in. The woman at the counter pointed out that we could get a 24-hour, unlimited ride pass for $62 each. I didn’t plan on spending $62/person for this experience, but $62 for unlimited rides sounded a lot better than $35 for two rides. Rush Mountain won! They doubled the amount they got from me. I won, too! Finn and I ended up going down the mountain coaster five times together, plus the zip line once, and the interactive 4-D shooter game twice. What they did wasn’t a scam or taking advantage of me, but rather using behavioral science to create an opportunity where both parties benefited. They could double the revenue generated from my family, and in turn, we enhanced our experience there. I didn’t have to take that option, but I chose it…..and I’m glad I did! We had a wonderful time and created a ton of memories.

Whether we’re on the business side or the consumer side, we need to be aware of these behavioral science tricks. These are the same principles at play when we can up the size of our fries or drink, or when there are add-on options when we go to the salon or spa, or how different products offer an assortment of progressively fancier versions (hello, iPhone!). Again, none of these are immoral or wrong. If we’re keen on what companies are doing and how they are utilizing behavioral science in their pricing and offering, we can use it to our advantage instead of being swept up in the moment. That self-awareness can be the difference between making a decision we’ll later regret or making a decision that adds value to our journey. I’m sure I’ve been bitten by this before, but this particular decision added a ton of value to our family.

What’s one version of behavioral science being used at one of the businesses you frequent? I’d love to hear your examples!

Protecting Yourself From Yourself

In a recent meeting, someone told me about how they invest in their company’s stock from each paycheck. This in and of itself isn’t worth writing about…..lots of people do this. What she said next is what drew me in. “I really don’t know if this is the best investment, but it makes sure I don’t spend it on something else. I know it’s there.” This is one of the countless ways people play games with themselves to achieve something. Or as I like to call it, “protecting yourself from yourself.”

As I meet with people, lots of versions of this story are told. Lots of interesting ideas, ranging from practical to absurd. Lots of people automate their savings/investing as if it were a utility bill. One friend pays extra on their mortgage instead of saving for their next house to ensure they can’t repurpose that money for a different use. One client loves buying shoes, but knows she could easily overdo it in the shoe-shopping department. Therefore, she only buys a pair of shoes if she accomplishes certain goals in her business. Another client knows they struggle to spend money on themselves (to an unhealthy extent). So we’ve created a structure so that every time they spend money on their kids, they also spend a certain amount on themselves. Another friend, due to some bad (really bad!) childhood experiences growing up, struggled to spend money on dining out. They budgeted for it, but never spent it. I helped them negotiate a ridiculous rule where if there is any unused money in their dining out budget at the end of each month, they have to give it to one of their in-laws. They really don’t want to give money to their in-laws, so they miraculously started spending it each month. Over time, they’ve not only gotten comfortable spending it, but actually learned to enjoy it.

I have a few of my own. In my pursuit to become a more generous person, I recognized the allure investing had on me. Knowing how investing works, how powerful it can be, and frankly just liking the process of it, I knew it could potentially inhibit my giving journey. Therefore, we negotiated a rule in our house about a decade ago. Never again would we invest more than we give. We have to give at least as much as we invest. No exceptions. This one simple decision has transformed the way we approach finances, investing, and generosity. It was a simple decision, with simple implementation, with powerful results. Protecting myself from myself.

What are some ways you protect yourself from yourself? I’d love to hear your ideas, whether they are practical or absurd.

Relationships Over Riches

In my public speaking, a common thread I like to pull is one revolving around the science of happiness. Specifically, the decades of research conducted to figure out if money makes us happy. It does, and it doesn’t. It does……until our basic needs are met (plus a little more). Then, additional money doesn’t make us much happier. There’s more to unpack here in a future post, but I want to get to the next part of what I share in my public talks.

If money doesn’t make us happy, what does? Behavioral scientists have found several things that help drive happiness in ways money cannot. Towards the top of the list is genuine relationships. You know, the real deal, be honest with each other, support one another through thick and thin, accept each other even if we disagree type of relationships. Science shows those types of relationships significantly drive happiness.

Last night, I attended the wedding of a dear friend. Her name is Megan. I met Megan shortly after she turned 15 years old. She was a youth group kid and I was one of her leaders. To this day, I still can’t put my finger on why she and I connected so well. I was there when she got her license, when she started dating her first boyfriend, when she won the state basketball championship, when she welcomed my twin babies as if they were her own flesh and blood, when she graduated high school, when she started her student teaching, when she graduated from college, when she got her first adult job, and when she met the man she would soon call her husband. We’ve been through a lot together!

Today, she’s my close friend and my little sister. And her husband? His name is Collin and he’s like a brother to me as well. As I was sitting in the banquet hall last night, I couldn’t help but look around and think about how important so many of those people in the room are to me…..and to Megan and Collin. These people have deeply impacted my life in so many ways. It’s moments like this when I’m quickly reminded how meaningless so many of life’s “important” things are. If someone put a gun to my head, I’d take my people over all the trappings this life has to offer.

Collin and Megan, I love you and I’m proud of you!

My people, you know who you are! Thank you. You make life worth living, and you are worth far more to me than the riches of this planet can provide.