How Do We Define Value?

In yesterday’s post, I made the argument we shouldn’t “support” small businesses, as that connotation “smells of pity, condescension, obligation, and guilt.” As expected, I quickly received a lot of feedback on this post. One such piece of feedback was from my friend Mike (yes, this Mike). Mike let me know he partially agreed and partially disagreed with my post.

There are probably four posts worth of nuance Mike brought to the table, but the one I want to discuss today is the idea of value. In my post, I stated that businesses “don’t deserve our support, but do deserve the opportunity to serve us well and provide us with value.” Mike explained that he strongly values relationships, and would happily pay more for a product bought locally because the relationship he gets to create in the process is valuable to him. I couldn’t agree more!

Let’s say we can purchase a product for $50 on Amazon and $55 from a local small business. The small business is charging 10% more for the same product, so does that mean there’s less value in buying it locally? From a mathematical perspective, yes. The product is providing the same impact in our life, but costs us 10% more. By definition, that’s less value. However, this is where I think we need to take a moment to ask ourselves what the definition of value is. From a utilitarian perspective, the Amazon purchase would have more value. But this is Meaning Over Money, so you know we can’t just look at everything through the lens of money. Mike would testify, and I would wholeheartedly affirm him, that there’s much more value on the table than dollars and cents. In his example, the relationship he gets to build and maintain with the small business is also a value-add to his life.

There are a number of other things we could attribute value to:

• Buying within close proximity to your home.

• The interactions with staff and/or other customers.

• Seeing the product first-hand before buying.

• Getting questions answered by an engaged and knowledgeable employee.

• Knowing your patronage is investing in the local labor market.

• The list goes on and on.

I think Mike touched on a really good point. I don’t think his perspective is contradictory to my post, but largely complementary. This is also the opportunity for small businesses to shine. They need to add more value than they charge, but there are a number of different ways they get to create value than simply price. BUT, and it’s a big but, they do need to add value. This is the heart of my message. Small businesses (including mine) don’t deserve our support. They deserve the opportunity to serve us well and add value. If they succeed, they will earn the right to do it again….and again. And as Mike beautifully points us, that relationship piece is so, so valuable. I for one would gladly pay more in exchange for that meaningful relationship.

Don't "Support" Small Businesses

Before I begin, I’d like to remind you I’m deeply invested and exceptionally fond of small businesses. My family’s livelihood is tied to my small business, I’m a part owner of a few other small businesses, and many of my clients are small businesses. So when you read my next sentence, I want you to know I say it with the utmost respect in mind.

I don’t believe we should “support” small businesses. The idea of supporting small businesses is talked about a LOT! “We should support X small business.” “Y small business needs our support.” “Z small business wouldn’t have closed had we supported it.” To me, the idea of “support” smells of pity, condescension, obligation, and guilt. There mere idea that a small business can’t survive unless we “support'“ it really turns me off. It lacks dignity, respect, and the merit of existence.

Small businesses don’t deserve our support. What small businesses deserve is the opportunity to serve us well and provide us with value. We shouldn’t go to a small business just because they are a small business. We should give them a shot because they are a business, and let them earn (and re-earn) the right to serve us again.

Instead of giving money to them out of a sense of obligation because they are the little guy, we should direct our business to companies that demonstrate excellence. And many of them are small businesses! There’s so much dignity in that, as opposed to the idea of “supporting” them.

Here’s my simplified way of thinking about it:

1. Find a business that offers something you may need/want.

2. Allow them the opportunity to serve you.

3. If they crush it, allow them the opportunity to serve you again. Repeat.

4. If they don’t deliver or add value, move on and give a different business the opportunity to serve you. Repeat.

5. Tell others about your experiences.

There are so many different angles to unpack on this topic (which we will), but I wanted to let this idea sit with you today. I hope it lets you think about small businesses through a slightly different lens. Agree? Disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Sharing What You Have: Pool Edition

Generosity comes in many forms. It’s not simply the money you give to church each week, or a monetary gift you leave someone in need, or a donation to a local organization. These are all examples of giving, but generosity is a much broader concept. As I’ve said before, we’re all called to share what we have, not what we don’t. What we each have to give is different. It’s a beautiful mix of resources, skills, time, influence, experience, and possessions. Every single one of us has something to give. if we’re willing to participate.

Yesterday, my family was treated to a very special gift. Some local friends hosted us at their backyard pool. We spent many hours relaxing, playing, conversing, eating, and drinking. We had an absolute blast and were grateful for the time spent with our friends. To them, they were just inviting someone to join them in their weekly ritual of spending time in their backyard. To us, it was a very sweet and special gift.

This is the beauty of sharing what we have. We’re just living life, AND inviting someone else into it. Every time we step outside ourselves and bring someone else in, it’s a form of generosity. I’m not sure this family really thought of it this way, but they provided such a profound gift to my family. They helped us create new family memories, build relationships with friends, and relax on an otherwise stressful day.

When we look at generosity through the lens of sharing what we have, it opens us to a whole new world of possibilities. We’re so grateful to our friends for sharing with us! It was much appreciated and it emboldens us to continue sharing what we have. That’s the beauty of sharing. We don’t have a backyard pool like them, but we have other things to share. If we all had the same thing to share, it wouldn’t be worth sharing.

So as you go about your work and play today, spend a few minutes thinking about what you have to share with others. Then, simply act.

Rick Rubin on Creativity

“The goal of making art is not to show you just what everybody else sees. It’s to see what’s possible. And what’s possible is radical. It’s like we’ve built a very small world for ourselves with our reason…..We’ve learned what’s possible and what’s impossible. And if we accept what’s possible and what’s impossible, we can’t go beyond. If the Wright brothers accepted it was impossible for man to fly, we still wouldn’t be flying. All of the great revolutions that have happened, have happened because someone believed in something that everyone thought was impossible.”

I’m not a fan of interview-style podcasts, but in a rare move, I took some time yesterday to listen to a conversation between two of my favorite people, author and thought leader, Malcolm Gladwell, and legendary music producer, Rick Rubin. The entire conversation was centered around the idea of finding creativity. Not creativity in the sense of creating an amazing song or a literal piece of art, but rather the creativity we each have in us. I never used to think of myself as creative……the opposite, to be honest. However, over time I’ve realized creativity is one of my strengths and passions. It just looks different than the creativity brought forth by some of my friends’ more traditionally creative endeavors.

The above quote was from Rick Rubin, speaking of the importance of unlocking creativity in each of our journeys. This is the quote that locked me into the episode. It affirmed so much of what I think and how I think, but it set the tone for what would be a goldmine of a conversation to come. The world needs our creativity and will most certainly be a better place if we can muster the courage to share it with others.

If you can find 68 minutes of time in your day, whether you’re running errands, going on a run, road-tripping to see family, or mowing the lawn, I highly recommend you give this one a listen (Apple / Spotify). I could type for hours about some of these ideas, but my words would be doing their words a disservice. I’ll let them speak for themselves!

What is a "Real Job"?

My latest article for the Greater Des Moines Partnership was published yesterday. In it, I explore the rise of the 1099 economy. If you haven’t heard the term “1099 economy”, I’ll give a quick summary. It’s a reference to people who do work without being official employees of a company. They don’t get an official paycheck and their engagement is typically shorter in nature. This is an ever-increasing trend in the business world, but it’s still largely misunderstood and demeaned by our culture.

I introduce the article with the story of a young friend who is a 1099 contractor. He has a beautiful career. Work that matters, clients he enjoys working with, and a pretty good income. However, this person is surrounded by loved ones who simply don’t get it. “When are you going to get a real job?” Ouch! Nothing will give you self-doubt like having a trusted family member insinuate you don’t have a real career.

What is a “real job?” To be honest, I don’t have a good definition. I spent 15 years with the same company, as an employee, climbing up the ladder, which was undoubtedly THE definition of a “real job.” My career today? I suspect a fair number of people don’t consider my current career a real job. I coach families and businesses, do professional public speaking, write, podcast, sit on a handful of boards, do contract work for a start-up industrial company, co-own/operate a coffee company, and probably a few other things I’m blanking on.

Is that a “real job?” By the definition of our culture, probably not. But I don’t think it matters. What matters is I’m living out my unique calling, using my gifts/passions, serving others, waking up every day excited for what I’m about to do, and financially providing for my family. Aside from that, the definition is irrelevant. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend, Gary Hoag, in the weeks leading up to my transition from a very traditional career to a very non-traditional, unproven career path.

Me: “I’m nervous because what I’m about to do is weird and hasn’t yet been legitimized.”

Gary: “Only God gets to decide what’s legitimate.”

Fair point, Gary, fair point. I had countless people in my life tell me to stay put, take the safe path, and focus on comfort and security. I’m grateful for Gary and a few others who were on the other side, pushing me toward meaning. For that reason, I take every opportunity I get to tell people in my life, like the young man mentioned above, to simply pursue meaning (whether it’s a “real job” or not).

Whatever you do when you get out of bed in the morning, whether it’s a “real job” or not, I hope you find it to be fulfilling and meaningful. That’s what really matters!

5 Simple Steps to Avoid Criticism

After seeing the most recent of a long string of public criticisms of me and my work, a friend reached out and asked why I would continue to do things that result in criticism. After all, being ridiculed, demeaned, and ripped apart is never an enjoyable experience. I’ve thought a lot about this, and have come up with a simple 5-step plan to avoid criticism:

1. Always go along with the crowd. Be mindful of what most people are doing, and just endeavor to blend. That’s the first and best step to avoiding criticism. Never mind if what they are doing is the right thing. That doesn’t matter if you want to avoid criticism. When the cultural winds shift, eagerly and swiftly shift with them. Lock in and fit in.

2. Keep your mouth shut and your hands idle. It’s hard for people to criticize you if you don’t say (or do) anything to merit criticizing. This step is simple but powerful. You can’t screw up or ruffle feathers if you’re quietly sitting on your hands. Do nothing, say nothing, be happy.

3. Stop thinking of others. If you just live for yourself and act in your own self-interest, you’ll naturally avoid a lot of the risks associated with trying to help others. People won’t question your motives or your means, and you’ll have a much more peaceful day-to-day life. This is the easiest tip to follow.

4. Don’t bring new ideas to the table. Things have always been done a certain way, so that’s definitely how they should be done. Do not question, do not challenge, and do not seek a better way. The status quo is A-Okay.

5. Don’t tap into your unique gifts. Sure, you probably possess a unique set of skills and gifts. Things that seem easy to you, much to the bewilderment of many around you. Skills that help you thrive in various areas of life, while other people struggle with them. These are awesome and powerful things, but just push them down. You don’t want to look like you’re showing out or showing off, so keep it to yourself. People can’t ridicule what they don’t know exists.

There you have it, folks. 5 simple steps to avoid criticism. If you follow this helpful advice, you will probably avoid 90% of all criticism in life. Or……….you can go make an impact. The criticism you’ll surely receive isn’t fun, but it’s the entry price to doing something that matters.

Good Ideas Are Good Ideas

While in a meeting today, my Media Director casually mentioned what may be the best idea I’ve heard all week. It’s a new concept for the podcast that could be a game-changer for us. A few hours before that, my assistant dropped an amazing idea in my lap. Just yesterday, while having coffee with a youth group kid, they dropped a little brilliant gem of an idea on me. A few days ago, a client shared a totally fresh idea about how we can handle our finances well.

Good ideas are all around us! Frequently, however, we’re so set in our ways that we disregard or overlook these amazing ideas. It’s a shame. Pride, stubbornness, and laziness are often the culprits that come between us and the countless brilliant ideas that land on our plates. If I’m being honest, most of the good things I’ve done in my life are the ideas, or inspiration from the ideas, shared with me by people in my circle.

What’s interesting is much of the time, people don’t realize their brilliant ideas are brilliant ideas. They are just sharing perspectives, experiences, or stories. They don’t open their mouths with the explicit intent of dropping game-changing ideas on others. They are just chatting and being real.

The question is whether we’re going to sincerely keep our ears and minds open to brilliance. It’s so easy to overlook, but if we’re intentional with how we engage with others, some of the best ideas in our lives are sitting right there waiting to be harvested. Seize the opportunity!

Debt Ceiling, Through a Different Lens

A few people recently asked me about the U.S. Federal Government debt ceiling situation. It’s definitely a hot-button issue in the news cycle, and many people have vastly different opinions about it. I find it helps to reframe the discussion and look at it as if the US government were just a family, using the same ratios as the government is dealing with. With that context, here we go!

This couple has an annual household income of $269,000. It’s a pretty good income, for sure! However, their annual spending for needs and wants is closer to $361,000. Since they are $92,000 short and don’t have savings to pull from, they only have one viable option: put in on a credit card. They’ve been living off the credit card for many years now, having accumulated approximately $3.18M of credit card debt. Yikes! They know this probably isn’t the best approach, so they intend to do better in the future. But they always have enough money to pay the monthly payments, so they aren’t going to let it cramp their style right now.

Recognizing the need to have boundaries with their finances, they agreed they would never exceed $3.25M of credit card debt. They even shook on it and pinky swore! Never mind they’ve had this same discussion every few years for decades. They want to do better, but let’s face it, their annual spending is important! They don’t really see any other options right now than to borrow it, so they concede that’s what they need to do.

However, it’s causing a lot of tension in the marriage. Both spouses know they should do better but can’t agree on what to cut. One spouse wants to cut x, but the second spouse won’t budge on that category. The second spouse thinks they should cut y, but the first spouse is unwilling to let it go. Hence, they are at a stalemate. They certainly can’t stop making monthly payments on the debt (that would be irresponsible and reckless), so ultimately they will probably agree to increase their negotiated credit card debt ceiling. After all, they will definitely figure it out in the future…..or so they tell themselves. Thus, the madness continues.

Can you imagine if your friends, co-workers, or family laid that situation out over a dinner party? At best, you’d roll your eyes, and at worst, you’d tell them to get their crap together. But this is the exact situation we find ourselves in as a country. $2.69 trillion of annual tax revenues, $3.61 trillion of annual spending, and a $31.8 trillion debt balance. Last year alone we fell short of our budget by $920 billion dollars……which was funded by debt. Pure madness!!

We as families deserve better than this, and we as citizens deserve better from our leaders. While we can’t control what Congress does, we can control what happens under our own roofs. Let’s practice and model a better way. Maybe they will catch on someday……

Excuses or Impact

Yesterday, we published episode 227 of the Meaning Over Money Podcast. Just typing that number feels absurd. Based on available data, 90% of podcasts don’t make it past the third episode. Of the ones that do, 90% don’t make it past episode 20. Knowing this, 227 feels wild. According to Listen Notes, we are in the top 3% of podcasts in the world.

Then, there’s our podcast studio. Though the visual representation of our studio looks sharp (thank to Cole’s magic), we’ve never had a great studio. When we first started, it was garbage. We had an old kitchen table from the 1970s, cheap-ish mics, and an environment that was anything but inspiring. Eventually, we got better mics, purchased a better table, painted the background wall, added a video camera, and even added some accent lighting (again, Cole’s magic). Fast forward again, we replaced the accent lighting with a custom-made neon sign and a better video camera. Here’s a little sample of what it looked like, all put together. Pretty crispy!

Our studio was never great, but we continued to put in the work. We aren’t defined by how much money we invested into it, or how nice it is, or what others think of it. Our calling is to produce quality content that adds value to people’s lives. It’s as simple as that. It could be easy for us to use our less-than-ideal studio as an excuse or a crutch, but we don’t play those games. We know who we are, who we serve, and why we serve them.

Next week is our last week in our office/studio. The space no longer fits each of our needs, so we’re going to shift like we always do. We’re still trying to figure it out, but Cole and I will each have our own separate office spaces. My space will have an audio-only recording area, while he will have a video-friendly space in his. Here’s what my space currently looks like:

It’s a beaut, Clark!

Yikes! Exactly what you’d think a high-performing podcast studio would look like, right? It’s not much, but it’s ours. This is the beauty of modern-day technology. Every one of us has the ability, with little to no cost, to put our art into the world. A podcast, YouTube channel, blog, designs, social media content…..literally anything! We can either use our lack of resources as an excuse, or we can simply create and share. You can have excuses or impact, but you can’t have both.

Nothing Is Wasted

My young friend Cam, an accomplished track athlete, just finished her high school athletic career a few days ago. She’ll soon graduate and move on to the next chapter of her life. In the aftermath of her last formal competition, she posted something on IG that caught my eye. Her words were profound, and I thought they were worth sharing:

For years, it’s been “on to the next one.” Those two laps on the track… that was it. Now there is no “next one.” The challenges I’ve faced in sports—physical and otherwise—have undoubtedly shaped me to be who I am today. I’m sure the opportunities to apply the lessons I have learned in my future *non-athletic* endeavors will be limitless. I have now broken one ceiling—it’s time for me to find another.

It’s always hard to close chapters in life, especially when they’ve been such a key part of our journey for many years. When I read Cam’s words, I think back to my high school basketball career. I mourned that loss for a long time (I wish I had Cam’s wise perspective at that age). I also think back to several other major shifts in my life, including my drastic career move in 2019.

I think Cam nailed it when she talked about applying the lessons learned in her future endeavors. Whether we’re moving on from a sport, relationship, job, or any number of other chapters, nothing is wasted. Nothing is thrown away. Nothing is squandered. The experiences, relationships, influence, memories, failings, achievements, habits, and learnings. Cam will take each of those with her and apply it to whatever comes next. Then she’ll do it again….then again. Every step of the way, Cam will get better and more people will benefit from her good work. It’s a beautiful thing.

Let Cam’s words sit with you today. Some of you know there’s a major shift that needs to happen in your life, but you’re scared to “throw away” the thing you need to move on from. Just remember, nothing is wasted. Be grateful for all you’ve gained and experienced from this season of life, but at the same time be willing to step into the next great thing.

You Just Never Know

Nearly a decade ago, I met a couple at church…..good people. I got to know them over a period of time, and they started to know me as someone who helps people with finances. At one point, the wife said, “Travis, you need to help my son…..he’s a mess!!” Her son was in college and recently engaged. She was correct, he was indeed a mess (with money). He was a good dude, though, and his fiancé was pretty awesome, too. They were a top-notch young couple. I was blessed with the opportunity to serve them over the course of a few years, and during that time, I watched them transform their life.

Fast forward a few years, and that man would become my Meaning Over Money business partner. It’s the one and only Cole Netten! Cole and I have had a fun and interesting journey. We each ran our own companies while we built Meaning Over Money with whatever spare time we could muster. During our span together, we’ve both moved multiple times, he had a baby, our careers each shifted in major ways, my wife nannied for their daughter, and his wife Kate started her own company.

This brings us to the present day. Kate and her business partner, Kalli, have a company called Kate and Kal Co. Their mission is simple, clear, and powerful: help Christian women find time and intentionality to lean into their faith. Kalli and her husband, Alex, are also clients of mine, which stemmed from Kate’s referral way back when I first started coaching professionally. Yet another example of how one thing leads to another. Despite having only met Kalli in person one time (and never meeting Alex outside of Zoom), we’re close. I love them dearly and they are like family to me.

In a fun full-circle moment, Kate and Kalli recently invited me to make a guest appearance on their Kate & Kal Co podcast (Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts). As I reflect on that conversation, I can’t help but think how all these little encounters and seemingly benign situations build upon each other until something special forms. That’s how I view my relationships with both of these families. It was nothing…..until it was something……until it was something special. I’m grateful to know these people and it’s humbling to watch them all make their own unique impact on the world.

That’s the thing with life. One day you meet a random couple at church, and the next you have a new family. You just never know!

I recommend you listen to the episode and check out Kate & Kal’s website (linked above). They are doing some amazing work, and it just may be the perfect fit for you (or someone you know).

Unwinding Your Way to Contentment

The pursuit of more is a slippery slope. It starts innocent enough. We enter the real world and get our first place. We see how nice our friends’ place is, so we also get something nice. Maybe we’ve been driving a beater for a while, so we decide to get an upgrade. After all, we’ve been working hard and we’re finally making grown-up money. Then the new iPhone comes out and we realize ours is already a few years old……better get a new one. One small step, then another, then another. None of these are inherently bad. But without knowing it, we’ve set into motion the ever-alluring and never fulfilling pursuit of more. As I always say, the problem with more is that more is still, well, more.

Fast forward 15 years, we have a significantly higher income than we started out with……and an inflated lifestyle to match. Then, it dawns on us: we’re just as stressed and discontent now as we were back when we had almost nothing. This is the fork in the road. Down one path is the continued pursuit of more. Maybe we just haven’t gotten to the point where we have “enough” to actually be happy. Maybe we’re one promotion, one trip, one house upgrade, or one additional zero in our bank account away. The other path? The other path requires humility. It’s an acknowledgment that perhaps we’ve been seeking comfort and happiness in the wrong things, then deciding to unwind some of our past decisions.

Two clients have recently decided to pursue the latter path. These are families who have achieved much success. Incomes most of us will never have, and lifestyles to match. Truth is, they aren’t happy. Life is moving fast, they are overly busy, their marriages are strained, and they feel quite discontent. So what are they doing about it? They have humbly and painfully decided to take a few drastic steps:

• Sell their house and downsize (one is purchasing a much small house and the other will rent)

• Downgrade their vehicle situation to something a bit more practical.

• Start saying “no” to various activities, trips, and memberships. This is an effort to create margin in their family time.

• Dramatically increase how much they give, taking the focus off them and putting it on others.

• Downshift their careers to stop focusing on an upward trajectory and lean in on creating a healthier balance.

These are no doubt counter-cultural decisions. They’ve already started getting pushback from friends and family, which is how they know they are probably on the right track. Whenever the prevailing culture pushes back against you, it’s probably a sign you’re doing something right.

They haven’t even implemented all these changes and they are already feeling better about their situations. There’s something empowering about knowing you have the power to unwind past decisions. It’s a constant reminder that everything is on the table.

A Friendly Reminder

This is just a friendly reminder that using credit cards in no way makes our life better. In fact, it brings a litany of negatives that range from minor inconveniences to utter destruction. This is an opinion I’ve had for more than a decade, and each week I get more convicted in it.

I have two clients that have made significant financial progress in the last few years. By “significant”, I’m referring to life-changing, trajectory-altering, “holy cow I can’t believe that just happened” significant. It’s worth noting both of these families made this progress after ceasing to use credit cards. It wasn’t a coincidence. Getting rid of credit cards is the gateway to finally gaining full clarity, control, and transparency of our finances. It’s an unpopular opinion, but I’ll die on that hill.

Then, something happened. Both of these families recently decided, for different reasons, to start using credit cards again. Nothing major. Just a few purchases here and a few purchases there. They’ll pay it off in a few weeks after xyz happens. Nothing wrong with getting some cash back. It’s “more secure” than using debit. They won’t pay any interest because they have the money to pay it off. You know, all the common tropes. It seems so innocent. No big deal. But in a matter of just a few months, a few things happened:

• They lost clarity in their monthly budget because using a credit card separates the purchase from the payment. Timing gets altered and it’s hard to keep track.

• They lost touch with what they were spending money on, as the credit card payment includes a myriad of different items all lumped together.

• They felt stressed out, anxious, and frustrated. Our meetings were different. They went from excited and optimistic to stressed out and nervous. You could cut the tension with a knife.

• The strong momentum they had previously experienced had slowed to a crawl as they had to re-focus their energies on getting clarity, control, and a zero balance.

These people aren’t dumb. They aren’t irresponsible. They aren’t negligent. In fact, they are some of the brightest and most successful people I know. They are well-known figures in their respective communities. They simply fell for the trap so many of us do. Their decision to start using credit cards again is like the person who hits the gym hard and eats healthy, gets extremely fit, then decides to stop going to the gym and eating healthy because they’re pretty healthy and don’t need to worry about it.

I know this is a controversial opinion, but they deserve better…..and you deserve better.

Embrace the Dash

In yesterday’s post, I reflected on my grandpa’s legacy. It was through the lens of a long life, well lived. It’s somewhat simple to look in the rearview mirror to see what legacy was written over the course of decades. In general, the entire idea of legacy is assessed through the lens of what happened in the past, and the future-looking possibilities of what could come from it.

Last night, I attended our youth group’s grad banquet. This has been one of my favorite annual events for the ten years I’ve been in youth ministry. It’s a night of reflection, story-telling, laughs, and goodbyes. Though I will miss these students when they leave for their next chapter in the coming months, I’m always excited about what’s to come. So many choices. So many opportunities.

As the pastor shared at my grandpa’s gravesite service, all gravestones have two dates (beginning and end), with a dash between them. That dash represents all we do in life. The span between birth and death. While our date of birth and date of passing are notable milestones, the dash is what truly matters.

Graduation is where the dash comes to life for these teenagers. The slate is cleaned, the freedom is upon them, and a world of possibilities has opened up before their eyes. This is a terrifying yet amazing opportunity. Every day when we wake up, we get to choose. The world will tell us to stay in our little box, embracing common norms and expectations. Play it safe, be responsible, don’t make waves, and get to the other side in one piece. Sure, that’s one way to look at it. But here’s another: nobody gets out alive. Every day we wake up is another opportunity to explore what the dash means to us. You could certainly chase money, but that bank balance doesn’t get to follow you on the other side of the dash. Status? It doesn’t, either. Fancy titles? Nope, sorry. It’s funny how we so often pursue the very things that can’t come with us. It's like aggressively playing a game of Monopoly, eventually winning with a huge pile of cash and a collection of hotels, only to realize the game is over and it doesn’t really matter from here on out. Having this happen for a silly board game is one thing, but to have it happen for a lifetime? That’s a tragedy. That’s why the dash is so important.

For these high school grads, the journey has just begun. If I were to equate it to a basketball game, the high school grads are 30 seconds into the first quarter of life……they haven’t even broken a sweat yet. I wish the following for everyone, but I especially wish it for my young high school friends. Embrace the dash. Know how special it is and never take it for granted. This is your opportunity to carve your own path, create change, make a difference, and write your legacy. Embrace the dash!

Legacy Multiplies

I attended my maternal grandfather’s funeral yesterday. It was a great service and it meant a lot to spend the day with so many in my extended family. He was the third grandparent we’ve lost in the past 40 months.

Afterward, I decided to make a surprise visit to my 94-year-old paternal grandma at her assisted living home. I was the one who was about to be surprised, though. I knocked on the door, but no answer. So I worked my way around to the main entrance and found the main gathering space. I saw my grandma in the distance, and as I approached her, I realized I had just accidentally stumbled into a birthday party. My grandma told me I couldn’t leave, so I just took a seat and participated in the party. The two birthday kids were a 98-year-old man and a 101-year-old woman. Punch was enjoyed, gifts were given, stories were shared, and we ended with cake and ice cream. They even asked me to lead them in the singing of Happy Birthday. It was a real honor to be part of such a fun celebration.

** Fun Fact: 101 years ago was the first time a radio was installed in the White House…..and 98 years ago was the first time a presidential inauguration was broadcast over the radio.

I learned a lot about the two individuals being celebrated. I even had a chance to meet them before our time was done. Something stood out to me as I learned about the woman. She and her husband did really well for themselves. They never had kids, and instead used their time and money on worldwide travel and building various collections. I’m sure I’m grossly simplifying it, but that story stuck with me. Decades later, they were no longer able to travel, their collections and other possessions were sold off, and she was living in this facility with little to no family.

I think about my grandpa who we just celebrated yesterday. I’m not sure what his and Grandma’s specific finances looked like, but my sense is they had a very middle-class life. They lived relatively conservatively, my grandma stayed at home with their five kids, their travel was fairly simple, and they resided in the same house in a tiny 300-person town their entire adult lives. He left 5 kids, 13 grandkids, and 25 great-grandkids (with the youngest just entering the world a few weeks ago).

The idea of legacy is always on my mind, so you better believe these ideas were in hyperdrive yesterday as we said goodbye to my grandpa. Legacy doesn’t die. Legacy doesn’t just vanish from the planet when your time expires. Legacy lingers. Legacy is what remains long after you’re gone. Legacy isn’t what you take from the world, but rather what you give to it. It’s not what you want from something, but rather what you want for someone. My grandpa didn’t change the world, but he changed someone’s world. Many someones’ world. 5 kids, 13 grandkids, 25 great-grandkids (and counting), and soon the next generation. Will some of those people change the world? Maybe….maybe not. But I can promise you that each will change someone’s world. Legacy multiples.

“I Couldn’t Say No”

Me: “What’s new in your world?”

Them: “I got a new job!”

Me: “I thought you loved your old job.”

Them: “I did, but I got a $20,000 raise with this new job.”

Me: “That’s cool. Do you like the new job?”

Them: “No, not at all. But it was a $20,000 increase. I couldn’t say no.”

This was the beginning of what became a 30-minute conversation about their new job. In short, the job sucked. After all, they left a job that meant a lot to them. They believed in the company’s mission, they had developed many strong relationships, and they were doing the exact work they wanted to do in their career. But they left! Dumbfounded, brought the conversation back around to this idea of leaving their meaningful job for something they knew would be a worse fit. I asked a simple, but dumb question, “How much is your happiness worth?” It was clear they, too, thought this was a dumb question. “There’s no price tag for my happiness…..it doesn’t seem like something I could put a price on.” Yet, they just knowingly sold their happiness for $20,000. $20,000!?!? It’s safe to say they disagreed with my assessment of the situation. The conversation eventually moved on to something far less controversial and emotionally-charged……politics.

About 6 months later, this same person asked me to lunch. I was excited to catch up, but I quickly found out they had a very specific agenda in mind. They were absolutely miserable. The job sucked, they were stressed, getting sick more often, and their marriage was struggling. Needless to say, this whole trade-happiness-for-$20,000-per-year experiment wasn’t working out so well. They knew they had to do something, but weren’t sure what. We talked about aspirations, options, and possible next steps.

Fast forward several months, and this person has moved on to a different job. A job that better suits their skills, passions, and lifestyle. It pays a decent amount less, but they report a ton of happiness and fulfillment. There’s far less stress at home, they look forward to going to work each morning, and they have enough money to live a respectable life. In my book, they are winners. It’s a counter-cultural way to live, but it’s so, so worth it. Meaning over money…..always meaning over money.

Letting Opportunity be Opportunity

We work, work, and work some more. All the while, we’re hoping that opportunity finally comes our way. We wait, wait, and wait some more. When will it finally happen?!?! So we work, wait, work, wait, and work some more. Finally, the opportunity of a lifetime slaps us right in the face. It finally happened!!!

We’re so excited for the opportunity, and of course grateful, but instead of just saying ”yes”, the self-talk creeps in. Is this really what we want? What if we fail? Maybe it’s too much work. What if we’re too successful? If it came to us, maybe it’s not as good of an opportunity as we thought. There are probably many more opportunities where that came from. The spiral begins. This is a pattern I see with so many people, in all different industries and contexts. I wish I could say I’m immune, but I’m not.

I was recently flirting with a writing deadline on my plate. I knew I owed my Media Director a first draft, but I didn’t produce it as quickly as I should have. She waited…..then waited some more. Finally, it happened. Fun article, great feedback, mission accomplished. Next article…..the same story unfolded. That’s when my Media Director dropped a little reality bomb on me. “Travis, I have colleagues asking me how they can get their people an opportunity to write for this publication.” Crap, I knew where she was going with this. I responded with a question, “Is this your way of telling me I’m taking this opportunity for granted?” Of course I already knew the answer. It’s never fun eating a slice of humble pie, but that’s why we need to surround ourselves with good people. They will feed it to you when it’s necessary to do so.

Another example. Northern Vessel, the coffee company I co-own, has two amazing opportunities in front of it*. Either one would easily be the biggest opportunity in the four-year history of the company. These opportunities have the potential to fundamentally alter the trajectory and direction of the company forever. While I wish TJ (NV founder) would have had these opportunities sooner than now, he wasn’t ready. But today? He’s ready today! He has the team, infrastructure, technology, brand, processes, experience, systems, and products to not only embrace the opportunity, but thrive through it. Then, there’s the work. These will no doubt be some of the hardest things he’s ever done or had to figure out. To be honest, it would be really easy for TJ to say “no.” There’s no risk of failing by respectfully declining. Since these opportunities came, maybe it’s easy for him to think many more will come in the months and years to come. TJ could have easily spiraled his way out of these opportunities.

TJ is built differently, though. He knows he’s ready. He also doesn’t take things for granted. If you’ve fought, failed, climbed, and clawed through as much as he has as a business owner (many of you know exactly what I’m talking about), you need to let opportunity be opportunity. Embrace it, give it everything you got, and accept whatever comes of it. Maybe you’ll crush it….or maybe you’ll fall flat on your face. But just make sure you don’t look back and regret not simply letting opportunity be opportunity.

* I hate not being fully transparent. My apologies for having to be a bit vague on the Northern Vessel front. I have full intention of sharing in more detail when I’m able! Stay tuned.

Work That Matters: SAHM Edition

“So you just stay at home?” I was standing about 8 feet from Sarah when she was asked this question at a social gathering, but I could tell from the minute I looked at her eyes, that one hurt. We had recently become parents to twin boys. Considering her dream in life was to one day stay at home with her babies, she was in the midst of living her absolute dream. But in that moment, her confidence was wavering and the self-talk was starting to creep in. It wasn’t the first time she had received an innocent-sounding comment with an insult attached to it, but this one hurt just as much as the others.

Stay-at-home Moms receive a lot of this type of feedback. “Do you work or do you stay at home?” “Is your husband the only one who provides?” “When will you start working again?” People don’t typically mean to be insulting or demeaning when asking these questions. Far from it. However, baked into most is a perception of laziness, lack of accomplishment, and selling themselves short.

I knew this long before I became a parent, but it was affirmed time and time again after watching Sarah be a stay-at-home Mom for the first six years of our children’s lives. It’s really freaking hard! It’s an exhausting, never-ending, thankless job, with terrible hours, and the most unreasonable bosses on planet Earth. Frankly, I’m not sure how she did it. I can say with utmost certainty that I would never in a million years be able to stay at home with kids. It’s not for lack of want, but rather because I simply couldn’t handle it. No matter how hard my work was - and it was brutal at times - it paled in comparison to what Sarah dealt with at home. For that, I’m grateful.

Moms, you’re doing amazing work. You’re doing some of the hardest and most important work on the planet. You’re literally shaping the next generation, day in and day out. There’s no compensation tied to it, there’s no status that comes with it, and the hours can be brutal. In other words, this isn’t a job you can do well unless you find deep meaning and purpose in it. Considering this blog is called The Daily Meaning, this is my way of giving you a 3-minute standing ovation.

It may not always feel like you’re being recognized or seen, but your work and your love matter. My encouragement to you is this. The fruit of your labor isn’t obvious today, tomorrow, next month, or even next year. It won’t be seen for many years to come when your kids have spread their wings and are carving out their own paths in life. When they do, and as they do, that’s when you’ll truly see how all your difficult and amazing work has paid off.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and grandmas out there! You’re doing amazing work and I’m grateful for you.

Creating Traditions

As I write this, I have one little boy snuggled up to my left side, fast asleep. On my right side, the other little boy, equally exhausted. I’m laying in a tent, using my thumbs to peck away this post. I can hear birds settling in for the night, and thunder in the distance. I’m exactly where I am every year on this night. The boys and I are on our annual pre-Mother’s Day camping trip. We rode horses, shot BB guns, played dodgeball, swam for far too long, and ate s’mores. It’s a tradition.

There’s something about traditions that stick with us. We nostalgically remember the past, savor the present, and eagerly anticipate the future. Sometimes we find ourselves yearning for traditions of the past. Traditions that can’t be recreated or maybe shouldn’t be recreated. We mourn the loss of them while trying to hold onto the fond memories created from them. We often fail to realize every day is an opportunity to create new traditions.

This is something I took from therapy years ago. The power of creating new traditions. My wife, Sarah, sometimes takes it to the extreme. We could go to the grocery store on a random Tuesday afternoon, just one time, and she very well may declare going grocery shopping on Tuesday afternoons a new tradition. When I started taking the boys on this camping trip three years ago, I didn’t know it would become a tradition. But then they starting making references to the trip, asking when we could go back, and planning all the things they want to do next time. And just like that, we have a tradition. It’s a special tradition to me. It adds a richness to my life because I get to create lifelong memories with them. Though Sarah isn’t part of this trip, she looks forward to it as well. The original intent of the trip was to give momma a little rest ahead of Mother’s Day. She may have been counting down the days until we left for this trip, secretly planning all the rest and fun she’ll have in our absence. Let’s just say she ushered us out the door quite hastily this afternoon…..she was ready! It’s the tradition.

There’s something powerful about knowing we are one simple decision away from creating a new tradition in our life. I find myself seeking them out and finding creative ways to start something. In the world of meaning vs. money, it proves once again that meaning always prevails.

What are some of your favorite traditions?

Sometimes Surviving is Thriving

We’re in the middle of a tough financial season for many. Between groceries, fuel, vehicles, and housing, inflation has been squeezing people from all sides. I’ve talked at length about this topic on the podcast, but I like to categorize people into three different groups:

• Group A: They have quite a bit of financial margin in their life. Though they see inflation is happening, it’s not making a significant impact on their day-to-day life.

• Group B: They had some margin in their financial life and are really feeling the impact of inflation. Not long ago they were making swift progress, but now most (or all) of their financial margin has been squeezed out. They are making ends meet, but many of their wants and savings have been paused.

• Group C: They had little to no financial margin in their life. They were struggling to keep the train on the track even before inflation struck. Now, they are experiencing profound pain and chaos.

Most of us live in little vacuums. We live our own unique lives and base our perceptions of the world on a sample size of one: ourselves. For the members of Group A, this causes many to lose sight of what’s really happening to people in Groups B and C. They aren’t trying to be insensitive or dismissive……they often don’t know what they don’t know.

Here’s where I’m trying to land the plane. Members of Group B also have a blind spot. While watching their margin melt away and lose momentum, they are looking in the mirror and wondering what they are doing wrong. What they don’t know is so many others are having the very same experience. The walls are slowly closing in, and they think their own failure is the cause of it. I’ve had multiple client conversations around this topic recently. My motto has become, “Sometimes surviving is thriving.” Everything is a season, and for some, this season is about getting out alive.

However, it all comes down to your definition of “surviving.” Based on the looks of this recent article, more and more, people are turning to their credit cards to keep the train on the track. Credit card debt just hit an all-time high, and we’ll soon hit an outstanding balance of 1 TRILLION! Yikes!

In my book, “surviving” looks a little different. It looks like navigating from month to month without incurring debt. It looks like overcoming medical, car, house, and other emergencies without wreaking havoc on your life and marriage. It looks like prioritizing your values and holding onto the things which add the most value to your life (and perhaps letting go of the others). It looks like keeping momentum toward your aspirations (even a forward crawl is better than standing still or heading backward). And it looks like waking up every day with meaning and purpose. It’s not perfect, and it’s often messy, and it’s far from easy, but it’s worth it. If that’s you, I celebrate you and what you’re trying to do. It doesn’t always feel great, but you’re doing far better than you know!

You got this, guys! Sometimes surviving is thriving!