Muscle Memory

I absolutely love the NBA playoffs. Growing up west of Chicago in the 90s, there was nothing better than watching the Bulls raise a banner nearly every year. Though I’m no longer a Bulls fan (see The Last Dance if you’re curious why), the NBA has stuck with me for decades. The other night, as I was watching another stellar Lakers/Warriors game, a very peculiar play unfolded before my eyes.

Let me summarize how I saw it. As the Warriors were settling into their half-court offense, Andrew Wiggins penetrated and kicked the ball out to Draymond Green. Draymond catches it and immediately swings the ball to his right. However, instead of the pass being received by a teammate, it landed directly in the hands of the Lakers’ head coach. On the surface, Draymond looked like an absolute fool. But did you see the look on his face? He was utterly confused. It wasn’t the look of someone who made a boneheaded play, but rather someone who knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t understand the outcome.

Upon further review, the rest of the truth came out. Nobody was there to receive the pass because said missing player, Gary Payton II, walked off the court mid-play. In a weird twist of events, Payton seemingly vomited in his mouth, motioned to the bench he needed to come out, then proceeded to quickly walk off the court where he would eventually vomit (presumably in a receptacle). Aside from this odd sequence of events, I was increasingly fascinated by Draymond’s pass. Though the play ultimately resulted in a turnover (#vomitgate), Draymond’s intuition and playmaking were astounding. Without even looking or thinking, he delivered a crisp pass to what was supposed to be a non-vomiting teammate. It’s evidence of how long he’s been playing the sport and honing his craft. It’s pure muscle memory at this point.

I was reminded of this play yesterday when I was meeting with a client. Like Draymond, this couple has developed astounding muscle memory. Doing this financial stuff wasn’t natural for them when we started, but after a year of repetition and commitment, they are significantly locked in. Their life hasn’t been perfect and they’ve encountered their fair share (if not more) of challenges and struggles. Through it, their muscle memory leads them back to the same place: intentionality and teamwork toward their mission and goals. They know what they are doing, why they are doing it, and how to do it. This is why developing healthy financial habits and skills is so important. When we lean into it enough times over a long enough period of time, we create muscle memory that allows us to naturally navigate the journey without having to spend much time and energy on it. It becomes second-nature and just a rhythm of our life.

I don’t know if Draymond and the Warriors will end the season as champions this year, but I can promise you this couple will. Once muscle memory sets in, there’s nothing they can’t accomplish when they set their mind to it. It wasn’t an easy journey getting here, but they earned it!

Memories Are Memories

In a world obsessed with more, more, and more, we can often lose sight of what really matters. In the last week, I’ve had several conversations with parents about how they are spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on their kids. Sometimes they classify these expenditures as wants, and other times as needs. But as a general rule of thumb, if it doesn’t involve a doctor, there are very few purchases in the $1,000+ range that classify as true kid needs.

I’m not necessarily disparaging these purchase decisions. People can do whatever they want and certainly have the right to do so. However, in the midst of all the spending, we sometimes lose perspective. We can get so consumed by the idea of more spending = more fun, more memories, and more happiness. Yes, there are some memories and experiences that more money can buy. No doubt about that! My friends Cole and Kate invested in an amazing trip to New Zealand several years ago. Those memories and experiences were unique and breathtaking……and expensive. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I celebrated it while I lived vicariously through them.

At the same time, memories are memories. Memories don’t keep score with dollars. A positive memory that costs $10 has the same value as a positive memory that costs $10,000. Last weekend, Sarah was out of town and I had a “man weekend” with the boys. We had so much fun. One of the days was packed with all sorts of adventures and activities. As I was tucking the kids to bed that night, out of nowhere Finn exclaimed, “Daddy, today was the best day ever!” Wow, that one got me and it suddenly felt like someone was cutting onions in their bedroom. Weird how that happens to us guys sometimes. As I thought about the day, I realized all we spent was $6 for a couple of ice cream cones. The truth is, they didn’t care if we had the simplest day or the most financially extravagant day. All they cared about was having me fully present and engaging with them. Kids can humble us like that.

Next time you feel guilty for not being able to “provide” something for your kids, or you feel the pressure to spend money on xyz because everyone else is, remember that memories are memories. They don’t care what you spend. They aren’t keeping score with money. When it’s time to spend on something expensive, great. But if not and until then, please don’t discredit or overlook all the amazing opportunities in front of you to create memories each and every day.

Being Right vs. Getting it Right

While serving a client yesterday, I was in a team meeting for a project we’re working on. It’s a complex project that intersects with several different departments. For that reason, it’s always helpful to bring the team together to get a second set of eyes and fresh perspectives. One woman, who is very new to the company, pointed out a few logical inconsistencies with my work. After discussing for a few minutes, it was clear she was right. I could tell she was confident in her perspective, yet hesitant to tell me I was wrong. Though it’s never fun to be wrong, I greatly appreciated her shining a light on this issue. To ensure she and everyone else would continue to feel comfortable, I let them know my perspective on the topic. “I’m in the business of getting it right, not being right.” From that point forward, the feedback and discussion opened up and the project was the primary beneficiary.

It’s not easy, but I try to make this my motto in life. Being right does me no good when I don’t get it right. It’s a fruitless endeavor with our pride being the only winner. This is actually one of the main characteristics I look for when interviewing prospective coaching clients. If they are in the business of being right, they can never reach their full potential. In fact, it will be a brutal coaching journey, full of butting heads and stubborn disagreements. On the other hand, if they are in the business of getting it right, there’s no limit to what they can accomplish.

When I think about this idea, a few different angles come to mind:

• Just because something used to be true, it doesn’t mean it’s still true today. Investing is a huge example of that. Most people invest the same way today that they did 25 years ago. After all, it’s the way it’s always been done. What they don’t know is there are far better ways to invest today. Ways that didn’t exist 25 years ago. Easier, cheaper, better, simpler, and more streamlined ways. This highlights the importance of continually learning and evolving as our environment evolves.

• We often get so engrained in the way we see something, we aren’t willing to consider that perhaps there’s a better way. This is a common occurrence in my line of work. If someone were to consider that I may be right about something, they have to simultaneously consider that they may have been wrong for the past 5, 10, or 20 years. This is a tough pill to swallow…..so many don’t. If we can humble ourselves to consider we may be wrong, we open ourselves up to the truth.

• Sometimes we are right about something……but there’s more to the story. We know the truth, but it’s a half-truth. These can be deadly, as we get a false sense of confidence and let our guard down. These are pervasive in the financial world. There are a lot of universal truths people pass back and forth, but they are often only half truths. If we’re hungry to learn, we can find the missing pieces and get a fuller understanding of the real truth.

This is hard, but worth it. I haven’t always got this right. Strike that. I often got it wrong for many years. But the more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. As you settle into your day, I challenge you to be in the business of getting it right, not being right. I promise it will change your conversations, your relationships, and yourself.

Marty Was Right!

When my kids were babies, I remember asking my colleague, Marty, what his favorite stage of parenting was. At the time, he had two college kids and a young high schooler. Without hesitation, he answered, “every stage was my favorite stage.” What?!?! What a cop-out answer! C’mon, Marty, give me something I can use!! He went on to explain how every single stage of parenting was better than the last. It felt like the inverse of this classic scene from Office Space.

With my kids now six (or “six and a half” as they would clarify), I now understand exactly what Marty was talking about. Every single stage of parenting has been better than the last. This weekend, Sarah was out of town on a girls’ trip. In her absence, we had a heck of a guy’s weekend. We mowed the yard, did some landscaping, explored the Des Moines Farmer’s Market, read books, spent time at Northern Vessel, watched Star Wars, attended church, played video games, and slammed some ice cream. In other words, it was an awesome time!! I treasure the time I get to spend with them. It’s depressing to think we only have 12 more years of them home before they leave the nest to create their own life. Wow, time is scarce!

The more time that passes, the more I realize how Marty knew the secret. In the world of meaning and money, there’s no better reminder of what true meaning looks like than spending intentional time with our kids. Life and work can be crazy, and always runs the risk of hindering the time we have with our kids. I’ve been on both the winning and losing side of this coin over the years, but this weekend affirms and re-affirms how badly I want to get it right. There’s no amount of money that can justify neglecting our greatest legacy and meaning, our children.

The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. This motto applies to so many different aspects of life. It’s humbling…..quite humbling. I’m just grateful I have people around me who will always shoot me straight, hold me accountable, and push me to be better. Miss you, Marty! If you’re reading this, just know you’ve made much more of an impact on me than you probably realize!

Even Work We Love is Still Work

Can I tell you a secret? Please don’t tell anyone I told you this. I detest giving kids allowances. It’s the quickest way to teach entitlement, laziness, and create a disconnect between money and work. At the same time, I think it’s important that we don’t create a culture where every bit of work is done with an expectation of financial compensation. In our house, this looks like our twin 6-year-old boys having a number of ongoing chores on their plate, each done with nothing in return. They perform these tasks because we all have roles to play in our family. At their current stage in life, it looks like cleaning the table after dinner, placing their clothes in the hamper, making sure their shoes live by the door, emptying the trash cans, and putting their clean clothes in their drawers. On top of that, however, they also have opportunities to earn money through the completion of extra work. These are optional projects that are above and beyond their normal chores. Whenever they complete a task, they usually make $2 ($1 for spending and $1 for giving). We offer them these opportunities, but they are also able to request them if they’d like.

Yesterday, the kids helped me mow the yard. We had a blast doing it together and they were on cloud nine. After we got done, all dirty and sweaty, I handed them each $2. Finn immediately piped up, “Daddy, you don’t need to pay us. We love mowing.” I expressed my excitement that they enjoyed mowing with me, but then added, “Even work we love is still work.”

This, right here, is one of the primary contributing factors to why people have such a toxic relationship with work. We are taught from an early age that work sucks. It’s not fun, we don’t want to do it, and it’s a necessary evil……which is why we get paid to do it. I couldn’t disagree more with this notion. Work is work. All work matters. All work is deserving of fair compensation……even work we love. (To clarify, I’m not referring to serving and volunteering. There’s a time and place for those things, as they are tremendously valuable and important.)

I hear this same notion from adults. Someone tells me they are going to retire soon, and I know they are beyond excited to leave their current career. When I ask what they are going to do next if they aren’t working anymore, they respond, “Well I’m still going to do something, but it will be something I love. I don’t consider that work.” This is an innocent enough comment on the surface, but do you see what’s really going on behind the curtain? Here’s my translation (which is obviously an over generalization being used for dramatic effect): “I’ve been getting paid for decades to do something I don’t really love. I’m looking forward to being able to ‘retire’ so I can finally do something I enjoy. I’m probably not going to charge what I’m worth for it because I actually like it and I don’t consider it work (even though I probably could have made a respectable living and enjoyable career doing this for the last few decades and not felt the need to ‘retire’ as quickly as possible).”

Let me be clear. I’m not demeaning or criticizing this person. We’ve been conditioned to think and feel this way about work and money from the time we were kids. What I’m suggesting is this person could have had a richer life and career if they had believed even good work is still work. When we can connect something we love with respectable compensation, we enter an entirely new existence. Good news: it’s never too late!!

“Daddy, we love mowing…..and we get paid for it!” If I can get my kids to internalize this perspective, work will forever change for them. It’s the entry point to work that matters…..and they have 80 years of work in front of them! If this happens, it will be one of my greatest parenting wins of all time.

For Good or For Evil

I’m on the board of directors for an organization in SE Asia, and have been for going on 8 years now. My fellow board members have become a second family to me. As with any group of people scattered around the globe, it’s not often we get to meet face-to-face. We try to do at least two board meetings in-person each year (one in the US and one in Asia), with the rest being via Zoom.

I don’t remember how it happened, but about 18 months ago, one of the board members came up with the idea of doing book studies together. After a bit of planning, we were off and running. Twice per month, we gather via Zoom to catch up, spend time together, and learn. The time doesn’t work great for anyone, as it’s Friday night for us in the Western Hemisphere and early Saturday morning for others in the Eastern Hemisphere. However, it’s always a beautiful time and it fills my bucket immensely.

It always gets me thinking about the power of technology. Because of technology, we’re able to meet as a board, spend time doing a book study, build relationships, and collaborate on new projects. One person even gave a video tour of his new house during last night’s call.

Yes, technology, like all the resources we possess, can be used for evil. Destructive and devastating evil. It’s easy to point our fingers at it and give it our wholesale blame. Like many things, however, technology doesn’t have morals. It’s just a tool. It takes on the values, morals, and behavior of those using it. We can use it for good, or we can use it for evil. Social media, podcasts, YouTube….the list goes on. The crazy part is most of the technological tools at our fingertips are either free or very inexpensive. Billions of people, limited financial hurdles, instant access, and very few barriers to entry. This is the opportunity in front of us. We can either shun technology (or insert any of your other resources here), or we can use it for good. I for one choose to use it for good.

In a world flooded with bad intentions and gross negativity, we each have an opportunity to bend the culture the other way. It often seems like the bad far outweighs the good….enough to make us feel like our contributions don’t even matter. But what if I add something good, you add something good, and the next person does the same? What if we all got intentional about using our resources for good? Could we change the world? There’s only one way to find out.

Wiping the Slate Clean

Has this ever happened to you? Life gets intense. Maybe it’s sickness, relational turmoil, job stress, or just being too busy. In the midst of life hitting so hard, you lose sight of your finances. You forget to do a few things, fail to track your spending, or perhaps don’t have a budget to begin with. Money is the last thing on your mind and it is what it is. Can you relate?

Most people can, at some point or another. When we hit a season like this, there’s a common sequence of events that can happen. You look at your situation and think, a) I don’t even want to know how much I messed up, b) that’s a lot of tracking to go back and recreate, and c) the hole feels too deep to dig out of. When we have one or more of these thoughts, it leads us to simply do nothing. Out of sight, out of mind. We choose to ignore it, which propels us to ignore it some more, which makes us want to permanently ignore it. Some would call that quitting….and you wouldn’t be alone.

I occasionally have clients who experience some version of this. It’s usually accompanied by a lot of guilt, stress, and frustration. My response is quite simple: “The past is the past. There’s no need to dwell on it. Let’s just wipe the slate clean and get a fresh start next month.” On one hand, this seems like an irresponsible decision. After all, knowing what happened is important…..it provides learning and accountability. True, very true. However, if the idea of hashing through the past creates paralysis, it does zero good. At some point, we need to focus our eyes on the present and the future. It’s amazing to see the faces of people when I ask them to simply move forward and leave the past alone. There’s a freedom in that decision that allows them to embrace what’s right in front of them. It can quickly turn into a springboard to regain momentum and progress.

That’s the thing with money. Money is NEVER about money. It’s always about something bigger. Life can be heavy, hectic, and busy. In the midst of it, you messed up. So what?!? You aren’t perfect and were never supposed to be. Please give yourself grace today…..you deserve it!

When One Chapter Ends

Ten years ago, I was playing a game a pick-up basketball at church when I was unceremoniously punched in the groin. Yes, no better way to start a blog post than with a good ol’ fashion groin punch story. As I was laying in the fetal position trying to gain my composure, the perpetrator of said inadvertent punch approached me to apologize. He introduced himself as Doug Applegate, our church’s youth group director. I’m not sure why, but he decided an injured stranger was the perfect candidate to solicit for a volunteer youth group leader position. Considering I really didn’t care for teenagers, it seemed like a bad idea. However, I was always available to serve, especially when someone “needed” me. I told him I would check it out, then make a decision.

A few weeks later, I showed up at youth group to check out the middle school and high school groups. My middle school experience was a train wreck, because, well, middle school kids. That was the easiest “no” of my life. The high school group, however, was something different. While I was still hesitant, the kids fascinated me it was just interesting enough that I said “yes” to serving for a year. After all, Doug “needed” me. The following school years (2013-2014), I jumped in head-first into an adventure I never saw coming.

Fast forward 10 years. Last night was my last night as a youth group leader. 10 years!?!? Words cannot properly communicate what this youth group has meant to me. These are my people. The kids, my fellow leaders, the parents. Some of the most important people in my life have come as a result of my time as a youth group leader. Doug (you know, the guy who punched me) has become a big brother to me. I’ve learned so much from him over the years, he gave me so many opportunities to use my gifts/passions, and he’s honestly the catalyst for me becoming a professional speaker. I’m eternally grateful for his role in my life, and I can say the same about so many more people. I have more memories than I can count, hundreds of relationships, and have experienced things that have transformed my life. It’s also been a long enough time that these kids turn into adults, with careers, who get married, have kids, and start changing the world. Every wedding, baby, degree, job, and move is worth celebrating. These young friends mean the world to me.

It’s hard to see this chapter of my life close. It’s one of the most special chapters I’ve ever experienced. But all chapters must end so a new one can begin. My kids are getting bigger and busier, while my schedule also continues to get more complicated. As much as I don’t want to leave youth group, my wife and kids need me right now. The feeling is bittersweet, but I also have a peace about it. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back one day. After all, my kids will be eligible for our youth group program in just six years. I have a feeling I may be giving that “train wreck” middle school group a chance in due time.

As this chapter comes to an end, I mourn and celebrate…..but mostly celebrate. It’s been amazing. I’m grateful. I’m content. I’m at peace. When one chapter ends, another begins.

Opportunity Cost: In the Wild

On the heels of yesterday’s post about opportunity cost, at least 10 people asked if I would provide a real-life example of how the exercise works in practice. At the same time, Cole (Meaning Over Money co-founder) has been encouraging me to be more transparent with my own numbers. I feel like I’m a very transparent person, but being open with my specific numbers does not come naturally. In fact, it’s quite uncomfortable. Therefore, let’s get me out of my comfort zone!

The following is what our prioritized opportunity cost list looks like. As a reminder, this is everything that’s not a basic need in our household (housing, food, transportation, insurance, phones, interest, etc.). The following list is for a specific month, but it also resembles what a “normal” month looks like in this season of life. Our basic needs are fairly modest and we never carry any debt. Excess income is approximately $3,800 this month. With that context in mind, here we go:

1. Giving: $1,000

2. Travel: $800

3. Kids: $600 (this is a mix of needs and wants, but heavy on wants)

4. Sarah's Personal Spending: $250

5. Travis's Personal Spending: $250

6. Dining Out: $150

7. Streaming Services: $150

8. Car Fund: $150

9. Events/Entertainment: $150

10. Home Furnishings: $300

11. Investing: None

12. House Cleaning: None

13. College Funds: None

14. Lake Condo: None

When I pull back the curtain and reveal our list, a few things come to mind.

• The fact giving and travel eats up 47% of our excess income is a true reflection of how important those are in our life. They are the foundation of our family.

• I believe personal spending for each spouse should be a non-negotiable in every marriage. It acts as a great release valve and allows each spouse to live out their unique values and interests with a portion of the finances. Our house rule has always been each of us shall get the same amount…..no matter what.

• For as important as food is to our family, dining out hasn’t received as much love in recent years (initiated by COVID). Something to think about in the months to come.

• I’ve been putting $150/month into the car fund for 19 years. It works wonders!

• Investing and college funds have taken a back seat in this season of life. This is, in part, a consequence of our heavy giving and travel budgets (mission and memories, as my friend Gary Hoag likes to say).

• We stopped getting periodic house cleaning in Fall 2022…..probably something we’ll move up the list in the near future.

• Sarah REALLY wants a small condo on a lake. I mean, she REALLY wants it. This is an ongoing discussion in our household and it wouldn’t surprise me if this one moves up the list in due time.

Wow, that was as uncomfortable as I feared. Oh well, I hope you found it insightful, beneficial, and perhaps a bit entertaining. What’s most important to remember is this is a reflection of OUR values. It’s unique to us because we are the ones who have to live our life. And you get to live yours! As you do, I hope you recklessly and relentlessly live your values!

Through the Lens of Opportunity Cost

Let’s say you want to spend money on something. It could be a number of things. A new car, a fresh wardrobe, private school for your kids, or maybe a trip to Disney. Let’s also say this particular item is important to you. If it’s important to you, it’s important (other people’s opinions don’t count). Let’s assume this purchase is highly important to you.

Where is the money going to come from? No, this isn’t a pay with debt vs. a pay with cash type conversation. Whether you use debt or pay with cash, the question still stands. Where is the money going to come from? There’s no free pass. This is the essence of opportunity cost. Every time we spend one dollar on item A, it’s one less dollar we can spend on items B, C, D, E, etc. Whenever we elect to spend money on something, something else suffers. I’m not saying this through the lens of negativity, but rather a simple reality.

Let’s say you’re planning to save up for a trip to Disney…..call it $8,000. If you really want to spend $8,000 on a trip to Disney, great. But where is the money going to come from? The simple (and recommended) answer is that you’ll set money aside in your sinking fund each month until you have enough. But where is the money going to come from? Maybe you decide to set aside $500/month for the next 16 months. The most important question isn’t whether or not you should do it, but rather what you’ll give up as a consequence. That’s $500 that won’t go somewhere else……so what is that something else?

This question gets to the heart of aligning our values with our behaviors. It forces us to look at each part of our life objectively, prioritize, then act. If you do that in earnest, you may decide not to go to Disney. Or you may immediately decide Disney is important, then discern what to give up in order to make it happen. But there’s a very real cost either way.

Here’s a quick idea of how to execute this:

1. Make a list of all the things in your financial life that are wants (i.e. not your basic needs to survive). This includes items such as dining out, travel, entertainment, extra debt payments, investing, etc.

2. Put a monthly dollar amount next to each of these items.

3. Prioritize them in order of most important to least important.

4. Determine which ones make the cut in your monthly budget this month (i.e. there’s enough money to fund it), and execute accordingly.

5. Repeat this process every so often to ensure you continue to align your values with your behavior.

When you do this, you’ll say yes to your yes’s and no to your no’s. It’s not always easy, but you will most certainly find more contentment and satisfaction when you know you’re pursuing what really matters to you.

The Grass Always Seems Greener

I’m not gonna lie. Pursuing meaning can be hard. A gut-wrenching, nail-biting, faith-testing, “why did I just do that?” kind of hard. Nowhere in the handbook does it tell us a life of meaning will be simple and stress-free. Whether it’s radical generosity, pouring yourself out for others, taking a counter-cultural path, doing something that’s never been done before, or facing a reality of reduced income, it can be brutally hard. Some of you are reading this and thinking this is the worst sales pitch for meaning you’ve ever heard. If all this is true, why would I still be such a champion for meaning? Because it’s worth it!

This month will be the four-year anniversary of leaving my prior career to begin my new endeavors. It’s been four of the hardest years of my life…..but also some of the most rewarding, productive, impactful, and important years. During that span, we’ve had multiple months (including recently) where there wasn’t enough monthly income to cover the bills. There are times the stress and obligations feel like too much to handle. Some days I wake up and wonder what in the world I’m doing. I think back to my old career (and the money that came with it) and wonder if life would be better had I just stayed. As a fun and somewhat depressing fact, I just realized I’ve left somewhere around $800,000 of income on the table over the past four years. When I think of it that way…..ouch!

Do I regret it? Not for a single moment. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Don’t get me wrong…..there is some vibrant, lush green grass on the other side. But some of it’s also dry, brown, and dead. We’re just so busy focusing on the one or two aspects we miss or yearn for, that we can’t see all the rest of it. Don’t worry, I do the same thing. But then I get little reminders that snap me back to a better perspective. Like this excerpt from a handwritten note I recently received from a former client:

“Because of your work, our family’s life has been changed forever.”

Wow! I got goosebumps when I read that one. I don’t think I deserve that much credit, but I’m grateful for their kind words. Someday, when we’ve taken our final breath, our legacy won’t be measured by dollars collected, professional titles and designations accumulated, or the possessions we leave behind. It will be measured by the impact we’ve made on this world and the difference we made in the lives of others. People won’t speak to what we did, but rather how we made them feel.

** I wrote this article for a handful of specific people, but I suspect a few hundred others will read it and also realize it was written just for them.

Celebration of Generosity Reflections

Wow, it was an amazing three days at the Celebration of Generosity Conference. I got home around midnight last night, exhausted, fulfilled, and content. It was my first time attending this event, and I had no idea what to expect. Between the wonderful talks, the powerful testimonies, and the discussions I shared with fellow attendees, I was deeply moved. I’ve spent a lot of time processing what I experienced. Knowing me, there’s a high likelihood that I could quickly get swept back into life in the hours or days to come. I don’t want to let this opportunity pass me by. Therefore, I’m going to share with you my top 10 takeaways and next steps for myself. Partly for accountability, but partly to give you something to ponder about your own generosity journey. Whenever I refer to “our/we”, that’s me referring to Sarah and me.

1. Despite our margin already being somewhat tight, we need to challenge ourselves to increase our monthly giving. We’re already giving sacrificially and joyfully, but there’s more sacrifice to be had.

2. There are a few organizations in our life that need to get a lump-sum gift, ASAP.

3. I’m more convinced now than ever that we need to set up a DAF (donor-advised fund). This has been on my to-do list for years, but I just haven’t followed through. Some of the discussions I had on the trip reminded me of how much good this will bring into our life (probably something to discuss in a future blog post). We started this process with NCF a while back, and plan to close the loop on this ASAP.

4. I need to do a better job at bringing others along for the journey with me, Sarah included. In my efforts to remain anonymous in our giving, we do it in a bit of a silo and lose out on an opportunity to rally others.

5. I need to double down on creating more content (written, audio, and video) about generosity. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet.

6. We need to ramp up the intentionality and frequency of Sarah and me having generosity meetings. We’ve gotten lax over the past few years. We have a giving plan in place, but it’s largely set to auto-pilot and we rarely discuss it intentionally.

7. As Christians, we’re already weird (i.e. counter-cultural). If that’s true, why not lean in and ramp up the weirdness when it comes to radical generosity?

8. Though we have intentionality with our kids when it comes to money and giving, we need to double down on our efforts to model generosity. Not in what we say, but by inviting them into the doing with us. This trip spurred many ideas I’m excited to explore.

9. As a Christian, I have a high level of faith and trust that God will provide. I feel like I followed the call in who I serve and how I serve them in my business. Though the trust and faith remain intact, I think I’ve tried to take back control over the years. It’s time to reverse that approach.

10. I’m more convicted now than ever that we made the right choices with our generosity journey and my career transition. There’s a purpose to all this. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

There you have it! Those are my top 10 takeaways. Unfortunately, Sarah will probably learn about them from the blog before she and I have a chance to discuss in person. Sarah, I’m sorry and you’re welcome!

Did anything I said above trigger any thoughts, ideas, or questions? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Hit reply or leave a comment. Have an awesome day!

Generosity Capers

Ca-per (noun): an activity or escapade, typically one that is illicit or ridiculous.

One of the breakout sessions in the Celebration of Generosity Conference yesterday was titled, Generosity Capers. In it, they talked about the importance and impact of creating unique giving opportunities. Capers come in all shapes and sizes. Some capers are expensive, while others are cheap. Some capers are planned, while others are spontaneous. Some capers benefit friends, while others benefit strangers. Some capers are complex, while others are simple. Some capers are serious, while others are silly. Some capers involve cash, while others involve goods or services.

A large tip for the waitress. An anonymous utility bill payment for a struggling colleague. Inviting a friend on a trip, then paying for them. Unexpectedly mowing your neighbor’s lawn while they are gone for the weekend. Surprising a loved one when a service member returns early from a deployment……those always get me! All examples of generosity capers. The possibilities are endless, and we’re only limited by our creativity.

I frequently talk about this topic on the podcast (including our recent episode 220), but I never had a name for it. Now I do! They are called generosity capers! This is one of my favorite forms of giving. Yesterday’s session convicted me of a few things when it comes to generosity capers:

1) They matter more than I realized, and there’s a whole army of people perpetrating them.

2) I need to get even more ridiculous in my execution.

3) I need to do a better job bringing others into my capers.

As part of the session, they created their own caper. In the printed materials handed out to us, one person had a little sticker hidden in it. That person was surprised to receive a Chic-fil-A delivery, scheduled to arrive in just a few minutes (yes, during the session). That wasn’t the caper, though. Earlier in the day, the session leader reached out to Chic-fil-A’s manager and specifically asked them to hand-select who would make this delivery. The manager chose a single mom who had recently experienced a lot of life. This is where it gets good. The session leader communicated to us that the plan was to surprise the delivery person with an unexpected cash gift (we’ll call it a handsome tip). The gift was going to be “in the four figures.” Then, the session attendees were invited to participate if they desired. People all around me were ripping out their wallets and frantically scanning Venmo QR codes to submit their gifts.

About 10 minutes later, in comes the delivery. It was a somewhat awkward situation to hand-deliver a sack of yummy chicken in front of a crowded hotel ballroom, but she came rolling up with a smile on her face. A woman in our group shared some encouraging words with the woman, then prayed for her. Then, a man handed her a check…….$5,000!!!! She looked stunned. “That’s a big tip,” she exclaimed with a shaky voice. She couldn’t quite find the words, but her eyes spoke humility and gratitude. The energy in the room was amazing and I’m so grateful to be part of such a gesture.

Generosity capers, man! New name, same great taste. Generosity always wins!

* stay tuned for some absolutely ridiculous capers, coming soon.

You Might Be That Somebody

Last night was the opening session of the Celebrate Generosity Conference, hosted by Generous Giving. I’m blessed to attend this event in Scottsdale, Arizona with a few friends / board colleagues. Even just in the opening session, so much wisdom and inspiration was shared. My head was spinning on the car ride back to the hotel. I pondered which nugget would be the basis of today’s post, which was a difficult decision after all I had experienced.

But the answer was pretty clear. One of the speakers (a married couple) shared about the brokenness of their own lives, how it almost crushed them, the redemption and grace they received, and the ministry that came next. In the conversation about ministry, they shared about how run down and dilapidated their neighborhood had become. Drugs, gangs, poverty, and economic headwinds had done a number on this community, and the state of the residential neighborhoods showcased it.

They thought to themselves how someone needs to do something about it. Then, as the husband so bluntly put it, “If somebody needs to do something, you might be that somebody.” Maybe it was…..no, it definitely was. Fast forward many years, they’ve revitalized hundreds of homes in multiple cities in their community.

It makes me reflect on my own life. Yeah, I’m doing a lot of good things. But how many times do I say to myself, “Somebody needs to do something,” then quickly go back to my life? What if I’m that somebody? What if I’m supposed to step in and make something happen? I can think of times when I actually did act on that gut feeling, but I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times I simply didn’t act. I was waiting for somebody, when perhaps I was that somebody all along.

What about you? Are you that somebody? Is there something in front of you that needs a champion, a leader, a fire igniter, a doer? You might be that somebody.

When You Take a Step Back

In all the craziness of life, do you ever take a step back and realize how far you’ve come? Or maybe you realize life looks a lot different than you anticipated it playing out? Or perhaps you just shake your head that you’ve been blessed in so many ways? As I’m writing this (late Wednesday night), I can’t help but think about all those things.

Today was a blur. I had an owner’s meeting for our coffee company. I had a board meeting for a local organization I’m honored to serve. I met with a client who is doing some amazing things. I popped into another client’s office to do some project work. I recorded a few podcast episodes. I had dinner with the family and walked the kids to a local ice cream shop to enjoy a little treat. I enjoyed time with my high school youth group kids. After that, I immediately hopped on a 10 PM discovery call with an Australian podcast. Now, it’s approaching midnight and I’m trying to pack for a 6 AM flight to Phoenix for a generosity conference. That 4 AM wake-up is going to hit hard! Wow!

I’m glad not every day is like this, but it’s a stark reminder of all those ponderings I mentioned above. Life is crazy. Very few of these things existed even 12 months ago. Yet, today they are a fundamental part of my life. If you get a chance, I recommend you pause, take a step back, and reflect. You’ve probably come much further than you think. It probably looks a lot different than you anticipated. You’re probably more blessed than you believe. It’s so easy to lose sight of these things. I usually do, but I’m grateful I accidentally stumbled into it tonight.

Have an awesome day, all! Enjoy the journey…..every twist and turn.

Retiring Your Kids?!?!?!

I’ve seen this topic pop up from time to time in the past, but it seems to be gaining steam these days. Perhaps it’s a natural byproduct of more and more people understanding the power of compound interest. Mix that with people’s desire to hoard and the common belief that money=happiness, and it’s a perfect recipe for “winning.”Here’s the idea. If you, as a parent, invest $x today (or $y per month) when your child is a baby, you’ll effectively be able to “retire” them. In other words, if you build up enough investments early enough, there will be a huge sum of money in there by the time your kids reach their 40s, 50s, or 60s…..so they will be able to retire without having to put in any of the actual work themselves.

The math is true. You can absolutely do this. It’s quite possible if you really want to do this. I can even teach you how if you care to know the math. My question is this: Why would you want to ruin your children? Part of being an adult is having to figure it out. Do good work, be productive, serve others, be disciplined with our giving/saving/giving, invest consistently and patiently, and live a meaningful life. When we attempt to retire our kids through investing, it’s like asking our kids if they want to put a puzzle together, but you already put 90% of the pieces together for them. The point wasn’t to complete the puzzle, but rather the process of putting it together. That’s where the meaning lies.

I’ve seen so many people get absolutely ruined by having tons of money dropped on them early in life (or knowing early in life it will be dropped on them in due time). Some of it was planned, some was accidental, and some was situational. But in most cases, regardless of the reason, the meaning, motivation, and purpose can easily be zapped from their lives. Yes, they have wealth…..and wealth can buy a lot of things. But at what cost? I’ve seen the cost and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. I thought the previous sentence might be an exaggeration, so I considered changing it. But after further contemplation, I’m not sure it is. When we completely remove the need to be productive, especially at an early age, it does a number on us mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.

Don’t ever forget the importance of the journey. It’s far more valuable and rewarding than the destination.

The Illusion of Security

It seems like every day I read or hear about a company laying people off. A handful of employees, a whole department, or even an entire division. It started with tech companies, then moved to mortgage companies, and now it seems to be spreading much more broadly. Just this week, a handful of the country’s most prominent journalists were unexpectedly fired from their respective networks. I’m not saying today’s environment feels like 2008/2009, but these headlines give me an eerie sense of deja vu (or maybe it’s just my GFC PTSD).

Whenever I see these headlines, it’s another reminder that our jobs are never as secure as we’d like to believe. I know many people who have been holding on to dreadful jobs, in part, because they “like the security.” This is an unpopular opinion, but I think security is overrated. In concept, I get it. There’s something about knowing your family will have enough money to take care of itself next month that’s appealing. I had that type of security for many years. However, it’s been nearly four years since I last felt that sense of security. A few observations:

• I thought it would be stressful not having security…..it is.

• I thought it would be hard not having security……it is.

• I thought having to figure it out each month would be rewarding…..it is.

• I thought having to trust it would all work out would grow my faith…..it has.

As I reflect on the waves of layoffs and I spend time with people stressed and worried about their employment fate, I can’t help but think about how security is somewhat of an illusion. Even the most seemingly secure job can be ripped away from us any day. On the other hand, people who have careers with little to no security (like freelancers, business owners, and contractors) actually have more security. Not security in the sense that it’s guaranteed (it’s not!), but rather in the sense that it can’t be indiscriminately taken away by someone else. There’s something exciting about having to go out every day, every week, and every month and figuring it out. If I serve my clients well and add value to others, I get paid. If I don’t, I don’t. If our businesses execute, we get rewarded. If they don’t, we lose the right to have said businesses. There’s a purity and intensity to that.

I don’t write all this to be provocative or controversial. These are just thoughts that rattle around in my skull and thought maybe they are worth sharing. I might be right…..or I might be wrong. But it’s worth pondering about to decide for yourself. Have an awesome day!

Why Not Both?

I recently found myself in a conversation with a friend when the topic navigated to work and careers. This is one of those friends that we get to be sincerely honest with, and vice versa. In the middle of the chat, he said, “I disagree with your advice to pursue work that matters.” Intrigued by this, I asked him to elaborate. In short, he thinks I put too much emphasis on work. His perspective is that work is work, a necessary evil amongst all the other things that provide us with meaning: family, friends, hobbies, travel, etc. Further, the more money we make in our work, the better life we’ll be able to afford (translation: more money = more meaning = more happiness). We debated this topic for a bit, and agreed our conversation would make for a good blog post……so here we are!

I understand where he’s coming from. I used to believe a version of this as well. As the conversation unfolded, he admitted to a feeling of dread every Sunday afternoon, feeling constant stress (even when he was at home), craving vacations to get away from it all, and dreaming about the day he’ll finally be able to retire and enjoy his life. Yes, he has a ton of meaning in his life. He loves his family deeply, has many close friends, actively serves and engages in his church, and has several fun hobbies. He has meaning. But his work is hurting him. Financially it’s helping him (big-time), but in many other ways, it’s slowly and secretly killing him.

Yes, it’s ok to dislike/hate your job and find a ton of meaning outside of your work. It’s your journey, not mine. I celebrate all forms of meaning and purpose. These are wonderful things. I would never demean any of that. But why can’t we have both? If half our waking hours are spent working, why wouldn’t we want this portion of our life to also have meaning? I’m not advocating for one or the other…..I’m advocating for both. I’m advocating for a life where we’re just as excited to go to work as we are to leave work. A life where we’re just as excited for the weekend to end as we are for it to get here. A life where we’re not in a rush to get to the finish line of our career.

Meaning at home AND meaning at work. Why not both?

Life Advice Sunday

Let’s play a little game. I’m going to give you one brilliant little piece of life advice that’s changed my life, then I’d like you to return the favor. One of you may say something that will change my life. Maybe the advice I’m about to give will also move the needle for you. There’s only one way to find out, though. You have a few different options if you choose to accept my challenge:

1. If you get this blog via e-mail, you can simply reply to the e-mail and type your response. These e-mails come directly into my primary inbox. Opening your e-mails is one of my favorite activities each day!

2. If you’re on the webpage (or click into the webpage from the e-mail), you can leave a comment in the comment section (which lives below the post).

3. You can DM me on social media, text me, send a carrier pigeon, call me, or tell me in the grocery store.

Again, I want to hear from you! Your advice is valuable. If enough of you respond, I’ll even publish a compilation of your brilliant advice for all to see.

With all that said, here’s my one piece of advice for you today:

When someone asks us to put something on our calendar for a future date, we often say yes by default. It’s not that we want to do it, but when the event is off in the future, we don’t have to actually mentally or emotionally deal with it at the moment. Here’s the hack. Pretend this same event is for tomorrow. If they asked you to add the same thing to your calendar for the next day or so, what would your answer be? If the answer is “no”, you need to say no. Why? Because soon enough, the event will be tomorrow……at which time you’ll probably not want to do it.

This simple little tip has saved me so many times. I used to say “yes” to practically everything. The “yes” never felt difficult or burdensome, but the later consequences did. This one is a game-changer!

Alright, your turn!

"Never Again!!!!!"

One of my clients just paid off a ton of credit card debt. It’s a debt they’ve had off and on for the better part of two decades. Now, after about a year of intense work and dedication, it’s gone! When I asked them how it felt to have it finally paid off, they didn’t react with excitement or enthusiasm. Instead, they looked disgusted. “Never again!!!", exclaimed the wife. It was as if years of frustration were let loose in that moment.

“Never again.” That moment represented a lot of different things to that couple. For me, it felt like a turning point. History has repeated itself multiple times for them over the years. Debt, pay off, debt, pay off. This time, however, feels different. They know better is waiting for them. They now have the tools to move past the debt and never let it haunt them again. They have a bigger purpose and the hunger to pursue it.

This idea applies to many areas of our life, money included. Sometimes we’re not ready until we’re ready. If we’re not ready, there’s almost nothing we can do to get it right. But if we are ready, there’s almost nothing that can stop us. If it goes the way I think it will, this will be the launching point of many good things to come for their family. I will always remember my “never again” moments (there were several), and I suspect they will, too.

Three important things happen when we reach this moment:

1) We prove to ourselves that anything is possible.

2) We prove to ourselves it’s never too late.

3) We model for others a better way. If we can do it, so can they.

It changes our lives, as well as the lives of other people around us. How cool is that?!?! Powerful stuff! Let’s get to work.