I’m No Swiftie, But…

I'm no Swiftie, but I watched ESPN's Monday Night Football pre-game show last night with great anticipation. I was dying for the moment when they would show Taylor Swift walking into Arrowhead Stadium to watch her boyfriend, Travis Kelce. It was so worth the wait when the payoff finally happened. That moment made my entire night!

It reminds me of a lunch I shared with a young friend. He recently graduated college and started a pretty good job. It was the perfect job for someone graduating from college and looking for good money, solid benefits, and stability. He looked miserable, though, and his ill-fitting suit didn't look much better. I anticipated spending that hour with someone who had a signature zest for life, but instead, I shared a meal with a guy who looked like he had just buried his dog. As the conversation picked up, he confessed how much he hated this job. It wasn't a bad job; far from it! Rather, it just wasn't the right job for him. He had different dreams, and this definitely wasn't it. A few weeks later, he left work one afternoon and never returned. Not even his wife knew he had quit.....until she returned home later that night.

That guy was Cole, Meaning Over Money co-founder and my good friend. And that sad lunch encounter occurred nearly ten years ago. Cole quit that job with no backup plan (not advised), while still deeply in debt (also not advised), without talking to his wife (definitely not advised), and began his dream of becoming a freelance videographer. The road has been anything but smooth for him. Ups and downs, hot streaks and dry spells, great opportunities and broken promises. Through it all, he persevered, never losing sight of what he was trying to accomplish. He bought a house, continued to build his business, had a kid, fought to pursue work that matters, had another kid, kept chasing his calling, and will soon have yet another kid.

I'm no Swiftie, but as I eagerly anticipated Taylor Swift's arrival into the stadium last night, I knew it would be Cole on the other end of that camera, continuing to live out his unique journey and vision. ESPN contracted him to be on Monday Night Football Taylor Swift watch, followed by filming the post-game press conference interviews for the Chiefs players and coaches.

I don't mean to sound like I have a man crush on my business partner, but I'm just so dang proud of where he's been, where he's at, and where he'll soon go. It makes it even sweeter knowing how difficult the journey has been. I would say he's stared fear in the face, but he's a retired kicker, and I'm not sure kickers can feel fear. But the struggle is real. If anyone ever pulls out the it-must-be-nice-to-be-him card, I'll be the first one to share the stories of what it looked like behind the scenes, during the crappy periods, when things were uncertain, and when it probably seemed to be anything but "nice to be him."

I'm no Swiftie, but that's pretty cool!

I couldn’t find the actual ESPN footage he recorded, but it was a similar angle as this clip.

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Broken Bones and Torn ACLs

I began a seemingly innocent client relationship about a year ago. It was a young couple making good money and generally having much success. They brought me into their lives to shift them into an entirely new gear. The goal was to go from good to great. Then, life happened. Within a short time span, this couple experienced significant turmoil. Pain and suffering, followed by pain and suffering, followed by more pain and suffering. It was almost laughable how brutally life crushed them.

Through it all, this couple simply kept going, one painful step forward after another. During one intense meeting, I asked them how they were approaching this season of life. His response: "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." Wise and powerful words, and I couldn't agree more! This couple's mission and calling are profound, and it didn't surprise me that they kept moving forward.

This is a tell. When someone's mission is so important that not even the most absurdly painful roadblocks can derail them, it's a tell that they are doing exactly what they are meant to do. The moment I see this characteristic in a client is the moment I know they WILL win. It's not a matter of if, but when.

It reminds me of something I saw a few days ago. Longtime readers know my family is Twenty One Pilot superfans. We're actually going to see them perform this weekend! A news report recently broke on social media about their lead singer, Tyler Joseph. After nearly two months into their world tour, it was revealed that he broke his fibula and tore his ACL…..in the very first minute of his very first show. The show opens dramatically, with Tyler launching himself over his piano, grabbing a hanging mic, and landing in position for his start to Overcompensate.

But the very first night of the tour, he lands with a snap and pop......but nobody knew! He performed the entire 2-hour set in the immediate aftermath of this disaster. He subsequently performed the opening piano jump for another nine nights before eventually altering his entrance. Unbelievable! I need you to see it to give you the full context. Check out the video clip! It's not a great quality, but it gives a solid angle and perspective of the incident. I queued the video to start at the right moment (around the 2-minute mark).

It's weird to watch this through the lens of knowing he broke a bone and tore his ACL in this moment. In the words of my friend, "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." That's the tell. It’s unknown when he’ll be able to surgically fix this injury, as they have shows scheduled through mid-May. As I watch Tyler work his way around the arena on Saturday, performing his heart out while creating memories for thousands of fans, I'll be thinking about this. He’ll undoubtedly be in tremendous pain, but also living out his calling. That’s awesome!

I hope you have a mission that's big enough to power you through the pain and suffering of life. It won't be easy, but man, it will be worth it!

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More Begets More

I became fascinated by watches in my early 20s. After purchasing a relatively nice one, I wanted more watches. Before too long, I had collected more than 20.

I purchased a pretty cool car when I was a sophomore in college. I loved it so much that I soon wanted an even cooler car (when I actually had money).

I purchased my first house when I was 26 years old. It was plenty of house for me, but after a while (as my income kept growing), I wanted a bigger house.

I visited a custom tailor on my first trip to Asia, where I purchased my first hand-made suit. This experience sparked a desire to buy more custom suits.

I started drinking bourbon about five years ago. After a friend gifted me a high-end bottle, it made me want to start buying more bottles to add to my collection.

More begets more. More is the gateway drug to more. The moment we pursue more, we encounter the slippery slope of materialism. It's intoxicating; it's alluring. It also feels innocent enough. Small incremental decisions that will seemingly make us happy. Most decisions are small enough not to alter our lives materially.

We also find great ways to justify our decisions:

• That house is an investment.

• That car is more reliable than our last one.

• That suit makes us look more professional (status increase).

• Those watches and bottles of bourbon aren't terribly expensive, so why not!?!?

I'm grateful I avoided most of this slippery slope (after that initial watch binge). Some would call it perspective; others might call it luck. Whatever it is, I'm so glad I didn't detrimentally succumb to a dangerous path. It's not for lack of want, though. Each of these things tugs at my psyche and desires. It's not the want that hurts us, but rather the decisions that come from it.

While I've done a decent job avoiding these pitfalls, many people aren't as fortunate. This is one of the biggest traps I see families fall into. Once they taste more, they want more. And the problem with more is that every time we get more, more is still, well, more. Thus begins the materialism death spiral.

There are many consequences of this materialistic journey. We live a more strained life (lack of margin). We might not save for future needs. We inadvertently give up other purchases that would actually add more value to our lives. We refrain from being generous. We make career choices focused on the money (i.e. not the meaning). It creates tension in our marriages. The ratchet tightens.....all because we decide to chase more.

I'll let you decide where you see yourself in these stories, but regardless of where you land, I have good news and bad news:

• Bad News: We're not stuck in one place. If you feel like you have your materialistic urges in check, there's always a risk of falling into the trap if you're not careful.

• Good News: We're not stuck in one place. If you've already gone down the wrong road, there's always time to pull it back the other way. You can do it!

You got this!

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Ruin vs. Waste

I returned home last night after a brutal 30-hour travel day from Mongolia, to Korea, to Minneapolis, to Des Moines. I'll be emceeing a banquet tonight, so if the organizers were wise, they would have a stick handy to poke me each time I fall asleep. The following thoughts percolated in my brain while I explored the Seoul airport. 

I've had the same Pastor for about 13 years. His name is Mike. He has a particular way of meeting me where I'm at. He doesn't go over my head, or try to overcomplicate things. Instead, each week, he attempts to take this 2,000+-year-old text and communicate it to his congregation in a way that's not only understandable but applicable. He was certainly good at his craft 13 years ago, but after thousands more repetitions, I've recognized he's gotten progressively better. 

With that backdrop in mind, paired with my deep admiration and respect for him, he recently dropped a bomb that stuck with me. It landed so hard that I pulled out my phone mid-service to jot it in my Notes app. "Most of us aren't at risk of ruining our life. Most of us are at risk of wasting it." Now, Pastor Mike isn't known for mic drops or Mike Breen "Bang!" moments, but if he were, this would have been one. 

In my work, this is exactly what I see play out in families all across the country. Most people are trying to be responsible, accountable, and productive. There's a lot of public conjecture that says otherwise, but I firmly believe the vast majority of people are trying to do right. They aren't ruining their lives. They are very much keeping the train on the tracks (or at least attempting to). Go to work. Be present for their kids. Don't cheat on their spouse. Handle finances well enough to cover their needs. Put in an honest day's work (and earn promotions along the way). Go to church. Serve others in various ways, whether it be co-workers, neighbors, friends, or family. Most people aren't ruining their lives…..quite the opposite. 

However, now comes the next part. Watching people, in their pursuit of not ruining their lives, I see an awful lot of people wasting it. Unhappiness is at an all-time recorded high. Mental illness is skyrocketing. Study after study shows that state of workplace satisfaction is at miserable levels. I've quoted this study many times, but Gallup reports that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 people! When we spend half our waking hours in misery, that's a whiff. Yes, there's honor in pushing through and dutifully going to a job you don't love. That's called accountability and responsibility, which aligns well with the idea of not ruining our lives. However, sustained misery in the workplace is also a telltale sign of wasting one's life. 

There are other tells, though, and they often look like regret. Regret for not trying something. Regret for not truly engaging in faith. Regret for not taking that chance. Regret for not going on that trip. Regret for not serving someone. Regret for not investing in that relationship. Regret for not having the difficult conversation. None of these point to ruin, but every one points to waste. 

A friend recently asked me how I can live with myself for having given up so much money these last five years (since leaving my prior career). The answer is simple. Sarah and I don't want to waste our life. We live with ourselves knowing we are living a truly blessed life. Richer, but not in a financial sense.

Something worth thinking about today. I hope you're living a life you're neither ruining nor wasting. A life full of meaning.

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I Just Wanna Play Football

I’m thoroughly enjoying my time in Mongolia. The meetings have been fruitful, the relationships rich, and the experiences seared into my memory forever. But for some reason, I can’t quit thinking about the following story.

I often reflect on a particular conversation I had years ago with a bunch of my high school youth group kids. I don't remember the overarching topic of the conversation, but I pulled out a normal-to-me question: "What do you want to do when you're an adult?" The kids around me were a mix of guys and girls, primarily athletes (basketball, volleyball, and football players). I received many to-be-expected answers; teachers, engineers, doctors, veterinarians, etc. Then, one of the guys says, "I just wanna play football." While he was a clearly a stud athlete, he was also the smallest guy in his crew that day. A couple of his buddies snickered at his answer. They weren't laughing AT him or mocking him by any means, but his answer seemed far-fetched. 

A few years later, he was blessed with an opportunity to take his talents to a major D1 football program. He didn't get a full scholarship in his first year, but he made the team! When I asked him what he hoped for, he immediately answered, "I just wanna play." Simple enough. And play he did! If my memory serves me right, an early-season in-game injury to one of his teammates allowed him an opportunity to show his stuff. Turns out, his stuff was pretty good. The rest is history. 

A few weeks ago, he became the first white starting cornerback in the NFL since 2002. I don't usually focus too much on race (especially in sport), but that's an absurd and wild statistic. Not one white dude has started at cornerback in the NFL since Jason Seahorn started 22 years ago! Not only did Riley start, but he's absolutely crushing it. He had 12 tackles in a single game…..as a cornerback! His name is Riley Moss, and he plays for the Denver Broncos. From the Ankeny Centennial Jaguars, to the Iowa Hawkeyes, to the Denver Broncos. Awesome story!

I don't have a close relationship with Riley, but I admire his journey from afar. It's so fun watching people just go for it. Our culture says to lower our expectations and just settle in for something normal, safe, and practical. Yet, here's a young man who had a big dream and kept moving forward. There's probably a world where he doesn't make the NFL; an unfortunate break, an untimely injury, or a missed opportunity. But had that happened, Riley could at least look back at his journey with no regrets. No woulda, shoulda, couldas. 

This really isn't about becoming a professional athlete, or rich, or famous, or powerful. It's about giving yourself permission to dream, and then going for it. The courage to fight our prevailing culture and take the path less traveled. To block out what the world says, and just leave it all on the field, as they say. 

I wish Riley nothing but the best. I hope he accomplishes everything he pursues. It's not going to be an easy journey, and he will most certainly face pain, suffering, and challenges. But it will be a beautiful journey, regardless.

I wish the same for you!

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Yes

We just wrapped up two days of amazing meetings at a rustic lodge about two hours outside Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. My head is spinning. As I attempt to write today's piece, all I can think about is the word "yes."

Meal after meal, meeting after meeting, and conversation after conversation, I spent time with people who said "yes." "Yes" to their faith. "Yes" to their calling. "Yes" to their work. "Yes" to the sacrifice. "Yes" to a deeply meaningful life. To call it a humbling experience would be an understatement.

I'm always a proponent of a posture of "yes." I'm sure you could find a dozen posts about it from the last few years, but this week's experience in Mongolia puts that idea on steroids.

As one last act of "yes," as we packed our bags and prepared to leave for the city, a group of us said "yes" to a last-minute hike up the nearby mountain. To be honest, it was far more challenging than I imagined (and dangerous, too). We shared lots of laughs, built into our growing relationships, and created some new memories. Lastly, the payoff was beautiful! Here's a little selfie from our mountaintop view. You can see our gers at the base of the mountain, between my friends Rob and Emily.

It would have been so easy for us to pass on the opportunity. We were already tired from our meetings, never mind the jet lag. We were slightly behind schedule and needed to get back to the city and transition to the next phase of our trip. But we said "yes".....and it was awesome.

Our collective "yes" in that moment is nothing compared to some of the weighty "yes'" that many people make every day, but one "yes" begets another. I believe in the culture of "yes." It's contagious. It's infectious. It's powerful. Not a "yes" despite the discomfort and sacrifice, but a "yes" because of the discomfort and sacrifice. That's where the meaning, beauty, fulfillment, and impact is born.

Whatever you're up to today, I hope you have a posture of "yes." And I hope that "yes" begets another "yes." Fast forward days, weeks, or months, and I hope you create, live, and spread a culture of "yes." I think you deserve it.....and those around you do, too!

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Be the Worst Person In the Room

Good morning, friends in the West. Being 13 hours ahead of you (i.e. a time traveler), I can confidently say Monday will be a great day.

Due to popular demand, below are a few photos of my current accommodations in Mongolia. I woke up this morning by stepping out of my ger (traditional Mongolian dwelling) and into a beautiful mountain sunrise view. I shared a wonderful breakfast with friends, followed by a full day of productive meetings.

I intentionally chose a provocative title for today's piece, but it's sincerely how I feel. It's an alternative way to view the old moniker: "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with." These last few days, I've spent time with countless people who have made far more impact, have a much grander vision, and have made much deeper sacrifices in their journeys than I can ever imagine. So, in other words, I feel like the worst person in the room. I don't use that language to be self-deprecating or critical of myself, but rather because of how much respect, admiration, and love I have for these people and the work they are doing.

For as big as my mission and vision is, spending time with these people reminds me of how small my little brain actually thinks. I'm challenged and encouraged just by being in their presence. Do you have any people like that in your life? If so, spend more time with them. If not, find some……then spend as much time as possible with them.

I've been reflecting on how hard these last five years have been for Sarah and me. The comfort is mostly gone. There is no ease. We progressively see the consequences of our sacrifices. There are days we wish we would wave our magic wand and live a cushier, grander, and more comfortable life. You know, the life most people are pursuing…….the life we used to have before we waved the opposite magic wand. But then, I spend time in rooms like I've experienced these last few days, and I'm reminded that there is far more impact to be made, bigger visions to be cast, and much more profound sacrifices to endure.

No, I'm not trying to demean myself. But wow, there are so many amazing people all around us. My challenge today is to spend as much time with them as you can. Be the worst person in the room; it's a life-giving and honorable place to be. 

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Slivers of Light in the Darkness

It's been 24 hours since I wrote yesterday's blog, meaning I should be enjoying the sights and sounds of Mongolia by now. That's not my reality, though. Instead, I'm sitting at the same table in the Chicago airport where I wrote yesterday's piece. 

Let me rewind. As my 11-hour layover ended yesterday, I was eager to board my flight to Istanbul. The anticipation had been building for months, and more so as I sat there. As the gate agents were preparing to begin boarding, I heard an announcement over the speaker: "Would Shelton Travis please come to the ticket counter?" I approached the counter, "Am I in trouble?" "You're not in trouble, but you're not getting on this flight……or any flight." Uh oh. Thus began one of the worst travel experiences of my life. The short version of the story is that my passport didn't have enough term remaining to legally enter Mongolia. Translation: I screwed up. I was nervous about having enough time in the trip's lead-up to renew my passport, but a trusted travel friend assured me I was good to go for this specific trip. BUT. BUT, I didn't confirm. I didn't follow through. I didn't fully vet it. I screwed up. I'm the author of this terrible story. 

Here's what happened next:

• I learned there is an emergency passport service in Chicago; one of the few cities that offers such a service. 

• The passport office still had an early-next-day opening available, so I booked it. 

• I grabbed a hotel room near the airport.

• I got on the phone with the ticketing agency to sort through this mess; I learned my options.

• After 4 hours of crappy sleep, I packed up and took a 45-minute Uber to the Federal building in downtown Chicago.

• I found a passport photo shop, filled out an application for a passport renewal, and met with an agent.

• I waited five hours to pick up my new passport. 

• Meanwhile, I spent 90 minutes on the phone with a ticketing agent to get a new flight. Ultimately, I ended up on the same route as previously scheduled, but one day later. 

• Now, I'm back at the airport, again hopeful to board a flight. 

Needless to say, this has sucked more than I can ever express. It's felt lonely, defeating, and demoralizing. It would be so easy to play the victim card and glass-half-empty this thing into oblivion (the thought crossed my mind). But there have been so many things to be grateful for:

• This debacle happened in a rare city offering same-day emergency passport services.

• My friends John and Jenn, while on the other side of the earth, were a calming presence during my most stressful hours. 

• The fact I was able to quickly grab a cheap hotel room right next to the airport. 

• The hotel clerk, who showed me much grace and generosity when I approached the counter with my makeshift 11PM dinner comprised of roasted peanuts, a Nutrigrain bar, and a guacamole cup (options were sparse, and I was starving). I presented her with a $10 bill. "Not tonight. This one is on me." 

• My early morning Uber driver, who gave me an oddly calm and relaxing drive. Side note: look up "violin covers" on Spotify!

• The Federal Building security guard, who gave me a tip for the best and quickest passport photos down the street. His tip allowed me to arrive just as they opened, avoiding the rapidly building line.

• The Orbitz ticket agent, who showed me amazing patience and hospitality as we navigated the re-booking process. He was a lifesaver!

• If all goes well, I still won't miss any critical meetings in Mongolia. 

This is truly one of the worst travel experiences of my life, but there are always slivers of light in the darkness. We have two options: We can concede defeat, be a victim, and lament how terrible everything is, or keep moving forward, show resilience, and find those little slivers. I'm so glad I was able to find them today.

I hope your day goes far better than my last few have, but even if not, I hope you look for the slivers of light as well!

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When In Rome

People often ask me if I batch my blog posts and keep a bank of them for future use. Truth is, I write and publish each article each day. It's a habit I picked up from the encouragement of my friend, Gary. That practice has added beauty and richness to my life, as well as a bulletproof discipline of consistent writing.....no matter what. It's amazing how many ideas will come to us when we're expected to come up with ideas; it's a fun psychological hack.

I share all this because today, I'm breaking my rule. I'm batching a few blog posts due to my possible schedule quirks and internet connectivity uncertainties. I'm sitting in the Chicago O'Hare Airport on an 11-hour layover, awaiting my flight to Mongolia. By the time you read this (if you are a read-it-as-soon-as-the-email-arrives sort of blog reader), I'll be approaching the Middle East, where I'll connect with a few friends who are coming in from Kenya. My goal is to still write and publish each day (with a bend toward what I'm experiencing in Mongolia), but backup posts will be ready if I get run off the interstate by a herd of animals or ingest too much Airag (fermented horse milk).

Speaking of, I love the expression "When in Rome." It encapsulates my perspective of and approach to travel. The moment I depart Chicago, I will set my Midwest American culture, norms, and preferences aside and embrace the culture I'm entering. The food, language (I'll try), customs, and rhythms. If someone invites me to do something, I'll do it. If someone hands me something to eat, I'll eat it. If someone wants to talk about a particular topic, I'll discuss it.

It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be awkward at times. It's going to push my boundaries. But that's what travel is all about! Our American culture isn't "right." Rather, it's our culture. That's great. I love so many things about our American culture. In due time, I'll miss pizza, cheeseburgers, football, my bed, the three amazing weeks we get of Iowa fall weather (IYKYK), and all the other aspects of my American life I never think about. But in the meantime, I'll wholeheartedly embrace a different culture and a different way.....and it will make for some of the greatest travel memories I'll ever experience.

I'll leave you with one rule a wise friend once told me. "If they eat it, why shouldn't you?" Sharing a meal with someone and shutting down their invitation to share their culture (through food) with you is a slap in the face. Having someone share their culture with you is an intimate experience.....and a gift. I never take that gift for granted.

Don't take the gift of culture for granted. Don't retreat to comfort. Don't seek familiar. Don't take the easy way out. When in Rome!

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Hop Into My DeLorean

Not long ago, I was having lunch with a former youth group kid. He's nearly 30 years old now, diving head-first into life. Career, marriage, ministry, babies....all the good stuff. Amidst that conversation, I uttered the words, "Man, what I would give to go back to being 30!!!!"

Fast forward a few weeks, and I was talking to an elderly man I cross paths with from time to time. He asked about my businesses, kids, and sports teams. Always a fun brief chat! Toward the end, he uttered the words, "I wish I could go back to age 45!"

I thought a lot about that. I'm sitting here in my early 40s, lamenting how I wish I could go back to 30, and an older man is lamenting how he wishes he could go back to an age that's even older than me!

That's when it dawned on me. I don't have a DeLorean that can take me back to age 30, but I do have a different type of DeLorean. Someday (if someone doesn't kill me first), I'll be and old man. And that old man Travis would probably do anything to have a DeLorean that could take him back to his early 40s.

That means today is a gift. I could wish myself younger all I want, but doing so would prevent me from realizing I probably have 40+ productive years left on this earth. What a gift! I'm already living my DeLorean life for soon-to-be old Travis. I best not waste the opportunity.

However old you are, remember there's probably someone who would give anything to go back to your age. Lucky for you that you're already there! Carpe diem! Make it count. Have an awesome day!

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I Guess I’ll Go There

Today's post will be a bit different than most. It's a post I never intended to write, but I feel an unshakable nudge to do it. I'm not sure what the impact could or should be, but I pray whatever impact it has, it outweighs the discomfort and possible consequences of writing it. I'm also willfully exceeding my self-imposed 500-word limit, but I hope it's worth it!

Occasionally, I'll get hit with a particular question that shakes me to the core. I immediately know the answer to said question, but I rarely answer it head-on. Those closest to me know the answer, but outside of a select few, it's a mostly unknown piece of my story......well, until today. Here's the question:

"You look at life very weird." Yeah, I realize that's not a question. That's the typical setup to the question. Here's what follows: "Why do you see the world the way you do, and what makes you choose the weird life you live?" That's a paraphrase, but it's an amalgamation of the various ways it gets asked.

Several factors probably play into that answer (including faith), but there's one specific factor that, as you'll see in a moment, perhaps moves the needle more than I care to admit. For more than ten years, I have lived under the threat of death (at the hands of another). I've been told it will happen, and others around us have been told it will happen. Not if, but when. It's been an ever-present piece of Sarah and I's lives. We've worked with authorities in multiple municipalities, but unfortunately, nothing can be done until something happens. It feels a bit ironic that "something happening" is me dying, but once that something happens, there's no longer a reason for authorities to protect me from something happening. Oh well, I've made peace with this long ago.

I've always joked that the end of my life will appear on a Dateline episode. It's a tasteless joke, I know. But perhaps it's the joke I needed to tell to work through the insanity of my situation.

I lived in fear for the longest time. Anxious about where I was. Nervous to post on social media. Hesitant to put myself in vulnerable situations. Then, it dawned on me; I was treating myself as if I were already dead.....which is just as bad as death itself. The other person, without even following through on their promise, had already won. That moment sparked an immediate and drastic shift in me.

Instead of living as if I were dying, I would live as if I were celebrating the fact I was still alive. It made me think about meaning, impact, and relationships. I realized that if my life were ultimately cut short, I ought to live with as much meaning and impact as possible while I have the chance.

I don't think about this situation as much anymore. It's not part of my everyday life, and I no longer look over my shoulder. While enough time has passed to cause this threat to (hopefully) become an asterisk in my story, there's no doubt it influences my decisions and which paths I take in this journey called life. I hope I live a long and meaningful life, but if it's going to get cut short for any reason, at least it will be a short AND MEANINGFUL life.

I'm fascinated by people who have looked death in the face. Cancer champions, car crash survivors, and a myriad of other wild situations. One thing that stands out for most is that their experience has significantly altered how they see and approach life. Meaning. Purpose. Gratitude for the time here. The realization that our time is limited.

I just met a new friend yesterday who lives with unapologetic joy, purpose, and meaning. So much so that I brought up this concept with her; I knew something must have happened. Sure enough, she shares the most tragic and painful story imaginable. She stared death in the face, and while it was excruciatingly heartbreaking, something beautiful came out of it: the life she leads and the impact she's making on this world.

While I don't wish terrifying and life-threatening experiences on anyone, I deeply desire each and every person to understand how special this opportunity of life is, find meaning in all of it, and not wait until tomorrow to "actually enjoy it."

Yeah, I'm definitely weird. But I know a lot of other weirdos who also view and live life differently. I hope they realize how much impact they are making, and more importantly, I hope you self-identify with them!

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A Different Kind of Structure

A few days ago, I wrote about the importance of getting our financial structure right. If we don't have a reasonable financial structure, we will likely have a rough go with our finances. Then, in the hours that followed, it triggered a few parallel thoughts. Specifically, I experienced a sequence of events that reminded me of another type of structure.

My morning was tightly wound, so I needed to hustle. I had to drop the kids off at school, drive back home, switch cars, then pop into the office for a coaching meeting. Here's the fun part. That entire sequence took less than 10 minutes. Home>School>Home>Office. 10 minutes! That's when I started reflecting (again) on the idea of structure.

While I'll die on the hill of getting our financial structure in order, I have a similar feeling about our geographical and logistical structure of life. To me, no amount of money can compensate for having a life structure that entails endless commutes and 24/7 to-and-froms. As such, I've spent just as much time and energy on my life structure as I have my financial structure. I think this image from the ETA app illustrates it quite well:

My house is 2 minutes from the office, 2 minutes from our children's school, 2 minutes from the grocery store, 6 minutes from our recording studio, 7 minutes from church, and 16 minutes from Northern Vessel. That's my life in a nutshell. I sometimes take it for granted, but when I take a step back, I realize how absurd it is and blessed I am. It wasn't an accident, though. Much thought, planning, and intentionality has gone into this structure. Consequences were made. Inconveniences were experienced.

However, when I wake up each day and experience life as it's structured, I'm so sincerely grateful. This hasn't always been the case. I've lived in realities of 45-minute commutes each way, with constant back-and-forths cannibalizing my days/weeks. I have countless friends that spend 2-3 hours commuting daily. Lots of people drive an hour to get to church, or 30 minutes just to get groceries.

I'm willing to make almost any sacrifice to live my simple life. We've had countless amazing opportunities presented to us, but when looked at through the lens of our intentionally simple structure, they don't look very attractive. And whenever we're faced with the option of keeping/saving money or have a simpler and more efficient life, I'll trade away the money in a heartbeat.

This isn't a topic thought about much, never mind talked about. Maybe today is the day for you. Instead of just accepting that your structure is your structure, what would you change if you could wave your magic wand? Maybe it's time to wave said wand. Your future self just might thank you.

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She Completely Blanked

I ran into a former client at a coffee shop recently. I haven't seen her or her husband in upwards of three years. As we exchanged pleasantries, she exclaimed, "We did it!!!" To be honest, I had no idea what she was talking about.....so I asked for clarification. "The trip!!!" Ah, yes, the trip! I knew exactly what she was talking about!

Ever since the day I first met her, she and her husband had been talking about going on a specific type of trip. It was an exotic and unique idea. It was also costly. This trip was a big mental and emotional roadblock for them during our coaching relationship. They had the ability to save up for it, but they hesitated. After all, it was expensive and they had many more "responsible" things they should do with their money. Therefore, they continually kicked the can down the road.

But eventually, long after I was gone, they decided to pull the trigger. They went on the trip of a lifetime! They sacrificed, saved, planned, and enjoyed.

After learning about this beautiful development during our coffee shop encounter, I asked her, "Well, how much did it end up costing?" This was a huge sticking point for them, and one of the main reasons they considered skipping it to begin with. She stared at me for about ten seconds, almost as if she was searching her brain for the applicable information. Then, she sheepishly responded, "I don't actually remember." I loved that answer.

This is one of the most perfect examples of meaning over money. She's telling me about the most memorable, beautiful, and game-changing trip she's ever been on. The one she's been dreaming about since she was a kid. The one she will be telling people about for the rest of her life. Then, in her next breath, she can't even remember how much it cost. So powerful!

They invested in experiences and memories. Yes, they have less money because of it. But they also have something in return that can never be taken from them: memories. These memories won't be hoarded in a bank account. They won't eventually end up in a landfill. They won't become boring and out-of-date. Decades from now, those memories will be just as beautiful - if not more - than the day they experienced them.

When I asked her about the memories, her face lit up and she talked my ear off. When I asked her about the cost, she completely blanked. That's telling. That's beautiful.

The Destinationless Journey

I was blessed to run into a group of friends yesterday. They were enjoying their weekly coffee outing together, so I crashed their conversation for a few minutes. Though that interaction was only 5-10 minutes, it blessed my day so much.

These four women are a few years ahead of me on their journey. I don't remember how the topic came up, but we began discussing upcoming career shifts (or what most people would refer to as retirement). It was interesting to hear each person's perspective on the topic. All were different and unique, but there was a common thread to each of their responses: What's about to happen is a new stage of the journey, not a destination.

I was so encouraged by their sentiment, which was brimming with impact and meaning. As I always say, work that matters matters. We were created to work, be productive, and serve others. These four women echoed those values in their words, which doesn't surprise me, having known them for many years.

Nobody said, "Wow, I'm just really looking forward to packing it in and riding off into the sunset." It was quite the opposite, actually. It was about finding new ways of making an impact, investing in their families, volunteering, and pursuing new types of work. Meaning, meaning, meaning, and meaning.

There is no finish line. It's a destinationless journey. When we view our lives through that lens, it changes everything. It reminds me of a conversation with a friend in his late 50s. He's done well for himself, and he's been encouraged to retire by many people around him. "You've earned it," they tell him. But every time the R-word gets brought up, he feels his mortality. Why? Because to him, it feels like the finish line of his productive life. In a way, that's cool; but in another way, it's quite sad.

I told him I thought it was all BS. He's in his 50s.....he's young! He still has 20-30 productive years left in him! That's like a long-distance Olympic runner completing two laps around the track, stopping, and calling it a race. The race isn't done yet, man!

I look up to my four friends. I'm so glad I had the chance to spend a few minutes with them yesterday. It encouraged me more than they will ever know. Impact knows no age. Servanthood doesn't retire. Meaningful work is available to all.

It's a destinationless journey. Keep running.

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Quality is Quality

Uh oh! One sentence in yesterday's post has triggered a firestorm. It was this one: "Their standard of living will likely fall off a cliff, but their quality of life should prosper."

I'll summarize the collective feedback: Standard of living = quality of life. When our standard of living increases, so too does our quality of life. They are one and the same.

By nearly every measure, we have a higher standard of living today than at any time in the history of our civilized world. More people have access to medical care, internet, cars, cell phones, internet, air conditioning, and indoor heating than ever. Houses are bigger, transportation more prominent, technology progressively better and cheaper. Our standard of living continues to rise.

If all that's true, and standard of living and quality of life are correlated, why do we have continually rising mental health issues, suicides, divorces, loneliness, crime, and overall brokenness? It's hard to acknowledge all the pain our modern society is enduring and argue that our collective quality of life is higher today than in years past.

I would propose that standard of living and quality of life have a positive correlation.....to a point, and the point is when our basic needs are consistently met. For example, if we're living under the constant threat that our electricity or water will be shut off, our quality of life will suffer. If we're teetering on the edge of getting evicted from our residence, our quality of life will suffer. If we don't have reliable transportation to get us to and from, our quality of life will suffer.

However, once our needs are consistently met and we can sufficiently live without the fear of imminent destruction, standard of living and quality of life disconnect. At that point, our quality of life is dictated by our choices:

• If we give generously, we'll have a lower standard of living but an increasing quality of life.

• If we choose a high-paying job we hate, our standard of living will go up while our quality of life goes down.

• If we choose to have children, our standard of living will probably go down while our quality of life likely goes up.

• If we invest in relationships, our standard of living will stay the same, but our quality of life will skyrocket.

• If we buy an expensive car with debt, our standard of living will go up (at least when we're driving), but our quality of life will likely be impaired (because of the opportunity cost of the debt payments).

The best way to achieve a poor quality of life is to pursue a higher quality of life by increasing our standard of living. This, in my opinion, is one of the reasons why our collective quality of life is eroding amidst record-high standards of living.

Here's my overly-simplistic remedy: pursue a higher quality of life.....period. Disconnect it from standard of living. Pursue meaning. Find purpose. Serve others. Invest in relationships.

Quantity isn’t quality. Quality is quality.

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Resetting the Reset

Yesterday's post didn't sit well with me. Nothing was inherently wrong with it, and I entirely back what I said. However, upon further review, it was too much about me and not enough about you. In it, I suggested that being intentional about getting a reset (with whatever endeavor you're pursuing) can be a springboard to longevity and renewed energy.

So today, I want to share some real-world examples of how clients are creating resets in their own journey. My hope is that one of these stories will resonate with you, and perhaps trigger your creativity.

First, I think about a 40-something couple that seemingly has it all. A big house, newer cars, and careers that provide status. However, they feel overwhelmed and discontent. They have everything the world says they should pursue, yet it feels a bit empty. Their kids are growing up too fast, and their priorities are flip-flopped. As such, both spouses are in the process of making significant career shifts. This is a massive reset that should revolutionize their life. Their standard of living will likely fall off a cliff, but their quality of life should prosper. The growing pains of this reset will be significant, but it will likely lead to a beautiful place.

Second, I think about a young client who fell into the debt trap early in her journey. She accrued a ton of student loans, plus the ancillary consumer debt that commonly goes hand-in-hand with growing into adulthood. She wants to pay it off quickly, but doesn't want to "throw her life away" either. Therefore, we made a compromise that would allow her to have her cake and eat it, too. Throughout the majority of the year, she's grinding through debt. Then, once per year, she takes an epic 3-4 week trip abroad. She explores, meets new people, experiences new cultures, and most importantly, she doesn't pay off debt. It's her annual reset. That annual reset gives her the excitement and perseverance to achieve her goals.

Third, I think about a couple that has four kids under four. Life is a grind, but a beautiful grind. The wife stays home, which has always been the dream. Money is tight, and they budget prudently. Like many moms, this woman struggles to spend money on herself, instead deferring to everyone else first. Twice per year, though, they cut back on a bunch of budget categories and allocate a nice chunk of money for her clothing. She then uses that money to reset her wardrobe. It's a beautiful little treat for them, providing her with renewed energy.

Last, it reminds me of an idea that I and many of my clients execute. Each quarter, I plan a 1-2 night hotel retreat for myself. I think, write, plan, and rest. Oh yeah, and enjoy a few unique meals. I go into those trips stressed and tired, and come back refreshed. A wonderful reset.

Opportunities for resets are everywhere! We just need to look for them, and more importantly, give ourselves permission to do it.

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Uncle Joe Wants to Know the Alternative

We have a bit of a quandary on our hands. In yesterday's post, I highlighted the common "coincidence" of people tragically passing away shortly after retiring. In it, I proposed that perhaps we shouldn't underestimate the non-financial value that work provides in our lives, namely meaning and fulfillment.

That brings us to our quandary. If it's possibly true that people prematurely passing away is, in part, caused by a loss of meaning upon retirement, we're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

• In one scenario, we just keep working our butts off and never "actually enjoy life" (but at least we stay alive).

• In the other scenario, we quit working ASAP so we can squeeze out every ounce of leisure until our limited days are numbered (and hopefully don't become an Uncle Joe).

Those are terrible opposing realities. Or, in the words of an e-mail I received yesterday, "So what am I supposed to do, then? Spend the rest of my life working at this sh**ty job, be too old to actually enjoy myself, and have it all be for nothing?"

I have maximum empathy for people with this quandary-filled perspective. It feels suffocating, like the walls are closing in. Today, I hope to offer a different perspective for my frustrated friend (and maybe for you, too). First, there are a few cultural assumptions embedded in our conundrum:

• Work = bad

• Not working = good

• The sole purpose of work is to earn financial resources.

• If 2/3 of our waking hours are spent working, then our working season of life is supposed to suck (but it will be made up for when we retire).

• Once we retire, we get those 2/3 of our waking hours back (i.e. not work), thereby finally enjoying life.

With that, here is my proposed reconciliation of this quandary:

• ALL seasons of life should be filled with meaning, fulfillment, and joy. Yes, even this week, this month, and this year. You deserve to live with meaning, fulfillment, and joy today, tomorrow, and every day.

• Work provides far more meaning and fulfillment than we give it credit for. Whether it's full-time, part-time, or volunteering, work that matters matters. We need to find meaning in our work.....or go find more meaningful work.

• Leisure, in and of itself, provides nothing of value. It's only when other components are added to the pot that we canenjoy the taste of leisure. Vacations are awesome because they are vacations. The moment vacations become life, it's just, well, life.

• We often view life as too binary. We shouldn't spend decades in a season that's 90%-100% work and 0%-10% leisure, then immediately transition into a season that's 0%-10% work and 90%-100% leisure. Instead, one might consider going from 60/40 to 40/60.

I'll put it another way. Let's create a life worth living today. Then next year, we do the same. 10 years from now, do it again. 30 years from now, ditto. If we're constantly pursuing meaning, we'll find just that: a meaningful life.

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Racing Toward (Untimely) Death?

I had coffee with blog reader Ryan yesterday (yes, this Ryan!). Meeting him and spending time with him filled my tank, for sure! During our discussion, he referenced a comment he made on the webpage last week. It was regarding my sudden wealth syndrome post. Here's what he said:

"Have you heard of the observation from small rural towns that when old farmers retire and move to town, they frequently pass away within 18 months? The medical reasons are varied but the correlation to loss of purpose would seem to be real. When financial independence strikes, don't lose your purpose and meaning."

Yes! Yes! Yes! Ryan for the win.....again. I think about this topic a lot and incorporate this concept into my keynote talk. Here's how I explain it.

Everyone has an "Uncle Joe" in their life. Uncle Joe worked his entire adult life. Eventually, Joe was finally able to retire so he could "actually enjoy life." Then, 12 months later, he died. If Joe had only found a way to retire sooner, he would have actually been able to enjoy his life. Moral of the story: We should race to the finish line, retire as quickly as possible, and start enjoying life (while we use the story of Uncle Joe's coincidental and untimely passing as Exhibit A for the urgency).

What Ryan is alluding to, and what I'd like to someday study, is the possibility that perhaps these tragic and untimely deaths aren't unfortunate coincidences. Perhaps there's more to the story. Maybe, just maybe, our work provides meaning. Maybe, just maybe, we weren't created to live lives of leisure. Maybe, just maybe, in pursuit of "actually enjoying life," we self-sabotage our meaning and fulfillment.

It reminds me of a news story I saw a few years back. An elderly man had just turned 102, and the news anchor was marveling (in a confused sort of way) that this man was still employed at his job. "Have you ever thought about retiring so you can enjoy the fruits of your labor?" I can't remember the man's response, but it was something like (paraphrasing), "I live a wonderful and healthy life. That is the fruit." Mic drop!

Maybe, just maybe, we should stop racing to the finish line.

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Being Responsibly Irresponsible

As is the case most days, I opened my Daily Meaning e-mail inbox yesterday to find a message from my friend Randy. Randy consistently responds to my blog posts, including words of encouragement, a representative story, additional wisdom, or alternative perspectives. Yesterday's was a bit different. He pointed out that some readers might find yesterday's post (about not impulsively wasting extra money) incongruent with my typical message of using money on "spending for memories and meaning." He didn't personally find it incongruent, but he suspected others would......and he was right. I subsequently received a handful of questions and responses indicating such.

On the one hand, I repeatedly beat on the drum of values-based spending, investing in memories, and finding meaning in our finances. Then yesterday, I leaned into this idea that we shouldn't impulsively spend "extra" money that comes into our lives. Instead, we should apply all extra income to wherever we are in our plan. See the possible incongruency here?

Here's the bridge for this perceived gap: responsibility and intentionality. It all comes down to those two things. If we don't take responsibility for our finances (pay for needs, save for future expenses, and give), our finances get disjointed.....and stressful! Yes, we should use some of our money for fun and memorable things. However, having our financial ducks in a row is a must. If we're behind on rent, can't put food on the table, and the utility companies threaten a shut-off, we probably shouldn't be dumping our money into lots of wants (today). We need to solidify the foundation. Responsibility is critically important!

Second, intentionality. As I often mention, I don't personally care where you choose to allocate your money. People have different values, priorities, passions, and situations. It's inevitable that your "right" is different from my "right." Here's the second part of my slogan. I don't personally care where you choose to allocate your money......as long as it's intentional. It's planned. It's purposeful. It fits within the context of our broader finances. With intentionality comes peace; with impulse comes regret.

Three of my clients recently traveled to Europe for some epic summer trips. Believe me, I've been living vicariously through them all summer!!!! The pictures are beautiful, and I suspect the memories are much sweeter. Each of these trips cost them anywhere between $6,000-$14,000. That's a lot of money, but they put a ton of intentionality into it. Some of these families have been saving this money for years. Month after month after month of saving. Then, the planning. They got the flights, then the hotels, then started filling the days with museums, trains, tours, and restaurant reservations. So much intentionality! By the time the trip arrived, they had zero financial stress and, carried themselves confidently, knowing their overall finances were intact and thriving.

Let's call this living responsibly irresponsible. Do the things other people judge you for. Make them roll their eyes. Let them question your sanity. But behind the scenes, do it with much intentionality and responsibility.

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The Irony of Sudden Wealth

"What's the point, man?!?"

I've had the privilege of spending time with a few dozen people who became very rich, very quickly. I'm talking rich rich. Buy anything you want rich. Never worry about money again rich. Each person's story varies, but there are a few common triggers for the sudden wealth: professional athletes, lottery winners, inheritors, and founders.

On the surface, we look at these people with jealousy and hope that someday we will be as fortunate as them. That feeling is what causes tens of millions of Americans to play the lottery each week: the mere chance to strike proverbial gold.

More often than not, however, being suddenly wealthy isn't all it appears from the outside looking in. It's called Sudden Wealth Syndrome. It's a psychological condition that manifests in a number of different ways, including isolation, paranoia, addiction, and hangers-on.

But there's one Sudden Wealth Syndrome manifestation I want to lean into today: loss of meaning. Think about your life. You probably have to go to work, make money, and pay for your family's needs and wants. When you wake up in the morning, you have a purpose and a goal. If you serve people well, you are rewarded. If you don't, well, that's not a fun road. Whether you love your work or hate your work, there's still purpose behind it.

People with extravagant wealth, however, don't have that embedded purpose in their life. Oftentimes, their life is like a boat without a rudder. A very large, flashy, and expensive boat, but without a rudder nonetheless.

"What's the point, man?!?!" my friend loudly exclaimed, in a tone full of anguish and frustration. On the surface, this man is the winner of winners. Due to recent circumstances, he found himself in a reality he could only imagine in his dreams. He had tens of millions of dollars, with a high likelihood of tens (or hundreds) more.

Until recently, though, his life looked much different. He was ambitious, hungry, and had big dreams for himself. He had a rock-solid work ethic and a motor to achieve. He was happy! Then, it happened. The money happened. Practically overnight, he would never worry about money again for the rest of his life. He bought a house for himself, one for his parents, another for himself, a couple of cars, a bunch of toys, and a new wardrobe. He looked the part.

"What's the point, man?!?!" Despite having it all, he suddenly felt empty. When he woke up in the morning, there was no purpose, no mission. He could literally lay in bed, all day, every day, for the next 200 years and never run out of money. He had everything, and he had nothing.

He wanted to talk about money, but I wanted to talk about work. Whether we like it or not, work that matters matters. The science continually points to work being one of the primary drivers of happiness and fulfillment in humans, yet we spend the bulk of our adult lives trying to escape work. I find it ironic.

I'll share more about this friend in the near future, but I'll give you a little teaser: he got a job. The old him is back. He's really rich, still, but he has meaning and purpose.

Interesting.....

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