Story Behind the Story

I had the most wonderful yet stressful day yesterday. Ups and downs, twists and turns, wins and losses. However, I'm going to hone in on one particular 90-minute block of my day. I had the opportunity to share lunch with a blog reader. It was my first time meeting him, as he passed through my city for work. That was easily the best part of my day, and a reminder how we need to surround ourselves with people better than us. I took away so much from our time together, and hope it's not the last time we cross paths in person.

Here's the idea that hit me during that conversation. When we look at someone, our first perspective of them is whatever they outwardly present for us to see. Their attire. The way they treat people. Their titles and roles. The way they carry themselves. Their accomplishments. The possessions they purchase/carry. We can learn a lot about someone by being in their presence, engaging in surface-level conversations, or checking out their social media presence. That's the story.

Take my new friend. On the surface, he's uber-successful, extremely talented, hard-working, and accomplished. The kind of person you want to be more like. All of that was true, by the way.....that's the story. What about the story behind the story?

I was honored to hear some truly profound stories and testimonials from this man. Stories that are quick and harsh reminders that nobody's life is as perfect and put together as we often believe. Stories that remind us that while we're pretty screwed up, we aren't the only ones battling behind the scenes. Stories that portray humility, vulnerability, and sincerity..... much-needed traits in our modern-day social media facade lifestyle.

It's so easy for us to look at someone, immediately assume their life is perfect, and quickly jump to jealousy, excuse-making, and self-loathing. That's the easy way out, and all too common in our culture. But if we're willing to learn the story behind the story, we'll usually see that we're not alone in the mess and chaos of life. And if these other people can keep fighting, persevere, and rise above it, why can't we?

It's the story behind the story that I'm after. That's what fuels me. That's what I desire to learn about people. That's what makes us human.

One more thing. I'm beyond humbled to meet people who are shockingly transparent and vulnerable with others, especially strangers. My new friend has no idea how much of an impact he made on me yesterday (well, unless he reads this). And if he made that impact on me, a total stranger, in just a 90-minute span of life, what in the heck is he doing for others!?!? That's impact. That's meaning. That's calling.

Seek the story behind the story, and if you're daring enough, share the story behind the story.

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Always Be Unreasonable

As many of you know, I'm obsessed with Facebook restaurant review groups. They are a unique view into the perspectives, philosophies, cultures, and values of customers and business owners alike.

A while back, I saw a gem of a post by someone who reported finding a foreign object in their take-out entree. Upon contacting the business to report the incident, a representative at the restaurant, without even offering an apology, told them they would need to drive back to the restaurant and personally return the tainted order if they wanted a refund. The customer, already inconvenienced by discovering a hazardous object in their meal, was further inconvenienced by being instructed to waste more of their evening by driving back to the restaurant. This customer declined and instead decided to torch this restaurant on the Facebook group. Many people defended the restaurant in this situation, citing the risk of potential fraudsters (i.e. people trying to get free food) as the reason the restaurant requires a physical return. Commenters even somehow defended the restaurant's lack of apology or remorse.

Yesterday, I saw another gem of a post, but of a different variety. After eating half of her meal, the customer requested a to-go container for the remainder. Then, she accidentally dropped all the contents on the floor as she boxed her own meal; it was admittedly 100% the customer's fault. The restaurant employees quickly swooped in to clean up the mess and told her the kitchen was already re-making her a new sandwich. The customer assured the server that wasn't necessary (you know, because it was 100% her fault), but the server insisted.

That was an unreasonable act by the restaurant. An unreasonable act of hospitality. This customer was so blown away by the gesture that she quickly shared this story on the Facebook group. Just 16 hours later, her post had been shared five times, liked 1,100+ times, and commented on 66 times. The comments were overwhelmingly positive. Some people cited their own stories of unreasonable hospitality from this same restaurant, while many others voiced their newfound desire to dine there for the first time.

In the first example, the restaurant prioritized profit first and the customer last. Eventually, they will lose.

In the second example, the restaurant prioritized the customer first and profit last. This is why they will win. Ironic, I know!

Did the restaurant end the night with lower margins because of this act? Absolutely! That's a mathematical fact. However, the goodwill they built from their unreasonable hospitality holds much more value in the broader scheme of things than the potential profit they lost. Further, that customer walked away with a powerful story that was quickly converted into word-of-mouth marketing, which will inevitably result in more business.

Regardless of your vocation or industry, whether an employee or an owner, unreasonable hospitality is always the right approach. Generosity always wins. I hope you find some opportunities to practice that today!

Oh yeah, one more thing. The restaurant from the second story is called The Angry Goldfish. I've never been there, but I will soon after hearing about their generosity and practice of unreasonable hospitality. Maybe you should check them out, too.

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She’s Far-Fetched, Too

I'm used to the criticism at this point. It comes from many angles and in various forms. Over the last year, however, the bulk of the criticism revolved around my ideas of work. Specifically, my position that we should pursue work that matters and find meaning in it. Some of the most common “feedback” includes:

• "Your ideas about work are far-fetched."

• "You don't live in the real world."

• "That's a privileged perspective."

• "You don't know what it's really like."

• "Meaning doesn't pay the bills."

• "Have fun being poor." -- I actually love this one!

• "You are telling people to be selfish and not care for their families."

• "You live in la la land."

I know there are some far better, more vulgar quotes somewhere, so I'll save those gems for another day!

Yes, my ideas are crazy, counter-cultural, and backward. Yes, they tug at the fabric of our culture's view of work, money, and life. Yes, it requires discomfort, perseverance, and humility. Yes, it's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do.

No, I'm not alone. No, I'm not special. No, I'm not particularly gifted. No, my ideas aren't even really my ideas. I just happen to have a platform.....and a mission. The truth is, countless people have committed to the types of insane endeavors I write, podcast, and speak about. That's what makes these ideas so amazing: they are accessible to all......IF you're up for the challenge.

I could list hundreds of examples, but you don't show up for me to endlessly ramble. So, instead, I'm going to give you one brief testimonial. This is a reply to my recent Ruin vs. Waste post. First, some context. This woman owns a beautiful small business which fuels and fills her. Her broader story is wild and involves more turmoil than she deserves. Here's what she said:

"After I was laid off, I chose to walk away from misery and do something really scary. I walked away from a comfortable 6 figure salary to maybe try to find some happiness. I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hard things to find it. Do I wish I had a bigger bank account? Sure. And maybe someday this business will allow a bit more flexibility and perhaps a vacation out of state (ha), but I'm not willing to give up the freedom and happiness I have every single day for more money in my pocket. I was miserable back then and I refuse to do that again."

I bolded my favorite part: "I knew in my head and heart that it could be out there somewhere - I just had to do really hardthings to find it." Yes, it's out there. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, she had the courage to go for it.

Don't let our culture tell you what you can and should do. The vast majority of those voices are miserable. You deserve better!

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I’m No Swiftie, But…

I'm no Swiftie, but I watched ESPN's Monday Night Football pre-game show last night with great anticipation. I was dying for the moment when they would show Taylor Swift walking into Arrowhead Stadium to watch her boyfriend, Travis Kelce. It was so worth the wait when the payoff finally happened. That moment made my entire night!

It reminds me of a lunch I shared with a young friend. He recently graduated college and started a pretty good job. It was the perfect job for someone graduating from college and looking for good money, solid benefits, and stability. He looked miserable, though, and his ill-fitting suit didn't look much better. I anticipated spending that hour with someone who had a signature zest for life, but instead, I shared a meal with a guy who looked like he had just buried his dog. As the conversation picked up, he confessed how much he hated this job. It wasn't a bad job; far from it! Rather, it just wasn't the right job for him. He had different dreams, and this definitely wasn't it. A few weeks later, he left work one afternoon and never returned. Not even his wife knew he had quit.....until she returned home later that night.

That guy was Cole, Meaning Over Money co-founder and my good friend. And that sad lunch encounter occurred nearly ten years ago. Cole quit that job with no backup plan (not advised), while still deeply in debt (also not advised), without talking to his wife (definitely not advised), and began his dream of becoming a freelance videographer. The road has been anything but smooth for him. Ups and downs, hot streaks and dry spells, great opportunities and broken promises. Through it all, he persevered, never losing sight of what he was trying to accomplish. He bought a house, continued to build his business, had a kid, fought to pursue work that matters, had another kid, kept chasing his calling, and will soon have yet another kid.

I'm no Swiftie, but as I eagerly anticipated Taylor Swift's arrival into the stadium last night, I knew it would be Cole on the other end of that camera, continuing to live out his unique journey and vision. ESPN contracted him to be on Monday Night Football Taylor Swift watch, followed by filming the post-game press conference interviews for the Chiefs players and coaches.

I don't mean to sound like I have a man crush on my business partner, but I'm just so dang proud of where he's been, where he's at, and where he'll soon go. It makes it even sweeter knowing how difficult the journey has been. I would say he's stared fear in the face, but he's a retired kicker, and I'm not sure kickers can feel fear. But the struggle is real. If anyone ever pulls out the it-must-be-nice-to-be-him card, I'll be the first one to share the stories of what it looked like behind the scenes, during the crappy periods, when things were uncertain, and when it probably seemed to be anything but "nice to be him."

I'm no Swiftie, but that's pretty cool!

I couldn’t find the actual ESPN footage he recorded, but it was a similar angle as this clip.

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A post shared by ExtraTV (@extratv)

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Broken Bones and Torn ACLs

I began a seemingly innocent client relationship about a year ago. It was a young couple making good money and generally having much success. They brought me into their lives to shift them into an entirely new gear. The goal was to go from good to great. Then, life happened. Within a short time span, this couple experienced significant turmoil. Pain and suffering, followed by pain and suffering, followed by more pain and suffering. It was almost laughable how brutally life crushed them.

Through it all, this couple simply kept going, one painful step forward after another. During one intense meeting, I asked them how they were approaching this season of life. His response: "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." Wise and powerful words, and I couldn't agree more! This couple's mission and calling are profound, and it didn't surprise me that they kept moving forward.

This is a tell. When someone's mission is so important that not even the most absurdly painful roadblocks can derail them, it's a tell that they are doing exactly what they are meant to do. The moment I see this characteristic in a client is the moment I know they WILL win. It's not a matter of if, but when.

It reminds me of something I saw a few days ago. Longtime readers know my family is Twenty One Pilot superfans. We're actually going to see them perform this weekend! A news report recently broke on social media about their lead singer, Tyler Joseph. After nearly two months into their world tour, it was revealed that he broke his fibula and tore his ACL…..in the very first minute of his very first show. The show opens dramatically, with Tyler launching himself over his piano, grabbing a hanging mic, and landing in position for his start to Overcompensate.

But the very first night of the tour, he lands with a snap and pop......but nobody knew! He performed the entire 2-hour set in the immediate aftermath of this disaster. He subsequently performed the opening piano jump for another nine nights before eventually altering his entrance. Unbelievable! I need you to see it to give you the full context. Check out the video clip! It's not a great quality, but it gives a solid angle and perspective of the incident. I queued the video to start at the right moment (around the 2-minute mark).

It's weird to watch this through the lens of knowing he broke a bone and tore his ACL in this moment. In the words of my friend, "There's nothing that can stop us when the mission is big enough." That's the tell. It’s unknown when he’ll be able to surgically fix this injury, as they have shows scheduled through mid-May. As I watch Tyler work his way around the arena on Saturday, performing his heart out while creating memories for thousands of fans, I'll be thinking about this. He’ll undoubtedly be in tremendous pain, but also living out his calling. That’s awesome!

I hope you have a mission that's big enough to power you through the pain and suffering of life. It won't be easy, but man, it will be worth it!

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Ruin vs. Waste

I returned home last night after a brutal 30-hour travel day from Mongolia, to Korea, to Minneapolis, to Des Moines. I'll be emceeing a banquet tonight, so if the organizers were wise, they would have a stick handy to poke me each time I fall asleep. The following thoughts percolated in my brain while I explored the Seoul airport. 

I've had the same Pastor for about 13 years. His name is Mike. He has a particular way of meeting me where I'm at. He doesn't go over my head, or try to overcomplicate things. Instead, each week, he attempts to take this 2,000+-year-old text and communicate it to his congregation in a way that's not only understandable but applicable. He was certainly good at his craft 13 years ago, but after thousands more repetitions, I've recognized he's gotten progressively better. 

With that backdrop in mind, paired with my deep admiration and respect for him, he recently dropped a bomb that stuck with me. It landed so hard that I pulled out my phone mid-service to jot it in my Notes app. "Most of us aren't at risk of ruining our life. Most of us are at risk of wasting it." Now, Pastor Mike isn't known for mic drops or Mike Breen "Bang!" moments, but if he were, this would have been one. 

In my work, this is exactly what I see play out in families all across the country. Most people are trying to be responsible, accountable, and productive. There's a lot of public conjecture that says otherwise, but I firmly believe the vast majority of people are trying to do right. They aren't ruining their lives. They are very much keeping the train on the tracks (or at least attempting to). Go to work. Be present for their kids. Don't cheat on their spouse. Handle finances well enough to cover their needs. Put in an honest day's work (and earn promotions along the way). Go to church. Serve others in various ways, whether it be co-workers, neighbors, friends, or family. Most people aren't ruining their lives…..quite the opposite. 

However, now comes the next part. Watching people, in their pursuit of not ruining their lives, I see an awful lot of people wasting it. Unhappiness is at an all-time recorded high. Mental illness is skyrocketing. Study after study shows that state of workplace satisfaction is at miserable levels. I've quoted this study many times, but Gallup reports that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs. 7 out of 10 people! When we spend half our waking hours in misery, that's a whiff. Yes, there's honor in pushing through and dutifully going to a job you don't love. That's called accountability and responsibility, which aligns well with the idea of not ruining our lives. However, sustained misery in the workplace is also a telltale sign of wasting one's life. 

There are other tells, though, and they often look like regret. Regret for not trying something. Regret for not truly engaging in faith. Regret for not taking that chance. Regret for not going on that trip. Regret for not serving someone. Regret for not investing in that relationship. Regret for not having the difficult conversation. None of these point to ruin, but every one points to waste. 

A friend recently asked me how I can live with myself for having given up so much money these last five years (since leaving my prior career). The answer is simple. Sarah and I don't want to waste our life. We live with ourselves knowing we are living a truly blessed life. Richer, but not in a financial sense.

Something worth thinking about today. I hope you're living a life you're neither ruining nor wasting. A life full of meaning.

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Yes

We just wrapped up two days of amazing meetings at a rustic lodge about two hours outside Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. My head is spinning. As I attempt to write today's piece, all I can think about is the word "yes."

Meal after meal, meeting after meeting, and conversation after conversation, I spent time with people who said "yes." "Yes" to their faith. "Yes" to their calling. "Yes" to their work. "Yes" to the sacrifice. "Yes" to a deeply meaningful life. To call it a humbling experience would be an understatement.

I'm always a proponent of a posture of "yes." I'm sure you could find a dozen posts about it from the last few years, but this week's experience in Mongolia puts that idea on steroids.

As one last act of "yes," as we packed our bags and prepared to leave for the city, a group of us said "yes" to a last-minute hike up the nearby mountain. To be honest, it was far more challenging than I imagined (and dangerous, too). We shared lots of laughs, built into our growing relationships, and created some new memories. Lastly, the payoff was beautiful! Here's a little selfie from our mountaintop view. You can see our gers at the base of the mountain, between my friends Rob and Emily.

It would have been so easy for us to pass on the opportunity. We were already tired from our meetings, never mind the jet lag. We were slightly behind schedule and needed to get back to the city and transition to the next phase of our trip. But we said "yes".....and it was awesome.

Our collective "yes" in that moment is nothing compared to some of the weighty "yes'" that many people make every day, but one "yes" begets another. I believe in the culture of "yes." It's contagious. It's infectious. It's powerful. Not a "yes" despite the discomfort and sacrifice, but a "yes" because of the discomfort and sacrifice. That's where the meaning, beauty, fulfillment, and impact is born.

Whatever you're up to today, I hope you have a posture of "yes." And I hope that "yes" begets another "yes." Fast forward days, weeks, or months, and I hope you create, live, and spread a culture of "yes." I think you deserve it.....and those around you do, too!

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Be the Worst Person In the Room

Good morning, friends in the West. Being 13 hours ahead of you (i.e. a time traveler), I can confidently say Monday will be a great day.

Due to popular demand, below are a few photos of my current accommodations in Mongolia. I woke up this morning by stepping out of my ger (traditional Mongolian dwelling) and into a beautiful mountain sunrise view. I shared a wonderful breakfast with friends, followed by a full day of productive meetings.

I intentionally chose a provocative title for today's piece, but it's sincerely how I feel. It's an alternative way to view the old moniker: "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with." These last few days, I've spent time with countless people who have made far more impact, have a much grander vision, and have made much deeper sacrifices in their journeys than I can ever imagine. So, in other words, I feel like the worst person in the room. I don't use that language to be self-deprecating or critical of myself, but rather because of how much respect, admiration, and love I have for these people and the work they are doing.

For as big as my mission and vision is, spending time with these people reminds me of how small my little brain actually thinks. I'm challenged and encouraged just by being in their presence. Do you have any people like that in your life? If so, spend more time with them. If not, find some……then spend as much time as possible with them.

I've been reflecting on how hard these last five years have been for Sarah and me. The comfort is mostly gone. There is no ease. We progressively see the consequences of our sacrifices. There are days we wish we would wave our magic wand and live a cushier, grander, and more comfortable life. You know, the life most people are pursuing…….the life we used to have before we waved the opposite magic wand. But then, I spend time in rooms like I've experienced these last few days, and I'm reminded that there is far more impact to be made, bigger visions to be cast, and much more profound sacrifices to endure.

No, I'm not trying to demean myself. But wow, there are so many amazing people all around us. My challenge today is to spend as much time with them as you can. Be the worst person in the room; it's a life-giving and honorable place to be. 

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Nobody Wants to Work: 1800s Edition

Question: In your opinion, when was peak music? What decade or period do you believe was the best? I know your answer, and you're right. My answer is probably different than yours, but I'm probably right, too. Let me guess. Your answer probably correlates with your mid-to-late teen years. Am I right? That would be my answer, and the data says you're probably in a similar camp. Someone actually studied this! Check out the graphic below:

In short, we tend to like music that was created after we were born, with our peak love being the music produced when we're teens. Then, it's all downhill from there. By the time we reach age 35, we start to think newer music sucks.

When it comes to music, we all know we're right......but are we? The generational bias runs deep, but we're too stubborn to admit that. This little nuance is silly and innocent when it comes to our generation bickering about what music rocks and what music sucks, but it comes with harsher consequences when it spills into other areas of life.

Notably, I'm thinking about a common cultural narrative in our society. "Nobody wants to work anymore." And by "nobody," we tend to point our fingers at the younger generation. This narrative has been floating around in our society for years, but it catapulted to a whole new level when COVID hit. I heard it three times in the airport just yesterday!

While I think there are a good number of young people who don't want to work, I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. We're stereotyping an entire generation based on the behavior of the lazy minority. Did you know any lazy turds in your generation? Of course you did! Some of them were probably your classmates, neighbors, and family members. Every generation has them.

For that reason, it made me smile when I stumbled into this little video clip. The content creator curated news clippings from multiple eras, each saying the same thing: "People don't want to work anymore." And the funny thing is, these clips go back as far as 1894!

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A post shared by Josh Drean (@joshdrean)

It's funny to think about. Some (probably) middle-aged dude, nearing the turn of the century and the introduction of the automobile, with the proliferation of cell phones still 100 years away, is ranting to a newspaper about how young people don't want to work anymore.

This video highlights one thing to me. As the older generation(s) leading the way, instead of beating down these kids and young adults with insults, we have an opportunity to lift them up. Sure, some will be lazy turds; no doubt! But most have a drive and a desire to make a difference in this world. This generation will absolutely change the world. Further, this young generation we lament will soon be in charge of this country while we're still alive! Therefore, let's lift people up, encourage them, mentor them, and propel them to heights we've never seen. That would be a fun legacy for our generation, wouldn't it?

How to Avoid Failure and Criticism

Guys, lean in. Lean in close. A little further. I'm whisper typing. Do you want to know how to avoid failure and criticism? If so, today is your lucky day. It involves two very simple steps. Here you go:

1. Do nothing.

2. Say nothing.

You're welcome!

Ok, back to my normal typing volume. What I just said is 100% true. If you really want to avoid failure and criticism, simply do nothing. People will most certainly leave you alone if you endeavor to accomplish nothing. In fact, you might even be applauded for it by some people in your life. You know, the ones who will feel validated by their own inaction.

This formula is simple, and it stands the test of time. If you try to do something or say something, you will inevitably be ridiculed. However, if you just keep quiet and focus only on yourself, you can possibly avoid the wrath of others.

What path do you prefer? Here's my answer: Give me the wrath every day of the week. If the cost of making a difference is the sharp knife of judgment, I guess I'll take the cuts.

On the heels of losing a particular platform and voice, a trusted friend asked if it made me want to quit. After thinking about it briefly, I responded, "No, it makes me want to double down on my efforts. The mission is too great."

I thought I'd stop failing and getting criticized; I didn't.

I thought I'd get used to criticism and failure; I didn't.

I thought this entire thing would get easier; it didn't.

Some of you are feeling the exact same way. So today, my job is to tell you to keep going. If you're failing and/or getting criticized, it means you're doing something. That's not a stain, but rather a badge of honor. Wear it well.

You can easily avoid failure and criticism—that option is on the table. Alternatively, you can dive head-first into them. I hope you choose the latter today!

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The Competitor In the Mirror

TJ, my Northern Vessel business partner, received a phone call from the Des Moines Register a few days ago. The reporter wanted to know what he thought about Caribou Coffee opening a new location right next door to our Northern Vessel shop. First, that was the first time either of us had heard about Caribou's plans. Second, we did have thoughts!

I'm not sure what the original intent of the article was. I'm being somewhat presumptuous here, and I certainly don't want to put words in anyone's mouth. In short, I think the general idea is that yet another big, national chain location is moving in on local small businesses. This would make sense, as Caribou has more than 750 locations in 11 countries......while we are one of one. This also makes sense, considering it's the prevailing sentiment in our culture right now. Support small. Support local. Stop letting corporations kill the little man.

What TJ ultimately told them was an entirely different story. He talked about how he was excited to have Caribou join the neighborhood, as it would bring more traffic to our little corridor. And if that happens, perhaps we'll have the opportunity to serve those people. Awesome! Here’s an IG Reel he posted about the situation.

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A post shared by NORTHERN VESSEL (@northernvessel)

I don't fault Caribou for moving in—good for them! This isn't about big business vs. small business. It's not about local vs. national. It's not about who deserves to be here vs. who doesn't. It's about excellent vs. not. Will we be excellent? Will they be excellent? Caribou has every right to set up shop and try to be successful. We don't feel oppressed or victimized. Instead, we're grateful. We're grateful for the customers who trust us, for the brand we're building, for our team driving the mission forward, and for the opportunity to get 1% better each day.

It reminds me of something my friend Michael once told me in a coaching meeting: "Losers focus on winners, and winners focus on winning." There might have been a few f-bombs dropped in that sentence, but this is a kid-friendly blog.

Here's the last line of the Register article, a quote from TJ: "At the end of the day, excellence wins." TJ is so right about that one. Our only choice is to be excellent. Luckily, our only desire is to be excellent.

Regardless of what you do, I have a challenge for you! With so much noise all around us, it's so easy to get distracted and sidetracked from the mission. It's easy to take offense, feel threatened, get jealous, and feel robbed. Those aren't choices.....at least not productive ones. Instead, let's just focus on being excellent. After all, our real competition is the person staring at us in the mirror. Excellence always wins. Just be your best today, get 1% better, and do it again. The rest will take care of itself.

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You May Only Get One Chance

I have a talk coming up next week. I'm excited about it, but with my typical nervous energy. All talks mean a lot to me, and this one is no different. It reminds me of a concept I think about a lot. This talk might be my one and only chance to make a difference in someone's life. Some people in that room have never heard my name, and may never hear my name again. However, I have a 60-minute window to make a difference. That's where the nervous energy comes in. What an opportunity! What a responsibility!

Most of you probably aren't giving a talk next week, but you are doing something that will provide you with rare access to someone. For 5, 15, 30, or even 60 minutes, you might have a brief but powerful window to move the needle in someone's life. I think about all the brief interactions I’ve had throughout the course of my life. Many of them are fleeting and unmemorable, but some make a lasting impact.

I think about the stranger who stopped when I was stranded with a broken-down vehicle. I only spent 10 minutes with him in my life, but his assistance made my day (and perhaps saved it as well).

I think about the woman at the stadium security checkpoint who pointed out I had a forbidden (but not dangerous) item in my bag. Instead of forcing me to trudge all the way back to my car, she showed me grace. That saved my night.

I think about a man who took an hour out of his day to meet with a young 19-year-old Travis to share some wisdom and insights about running a business. This guy had far better things to do that day, but he invested in me. I've never seen him again, but wow, he made an impact on me.

None of these people know how much they impacted me…..but I do! We may only get one chance to make a difference in someone’s life. See the opportunity. Embrace the responsibility. Move the needle!

My upcoming speaking event is actually virtual, and it's free! You know what that means!?!? It means every blog reader has the opportunity to attend (if you're interested). It's with the Greater Des Moines Partnership and is part of their Top Five For Small Business series. It's Wednesday, September 25th at 9AM CST. The Des Moines Partnership is a great organization, and they are doing wonderful things to cultivate and grow business and innovation in our city. I'll be giving a slightly modified version of my main keynote talk, so if you haven't heard that talk before, now's your chance! Here is a preview article I wrote for The Partnership last week, which gives you a taste of what to expect. AND HERE IS THE EVENT PAGE WHERE YOU CAN LEARN MORE AND COMPLETE YOUR FREE REGISTRATION. I hope to see some of you there!

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Heartbreak. Joy. Impact.

What makes you angry? What breaks your heart? What makes you sad? What puts a knot in your stomach? What gets you fired up?

These are some of the questions I ask people when they are interested in giving, but don't know where to start. One of my biggest principles in cultivating generosity is making gifts we can emotionally connect to. This is an overlooked aspect of people's giving, which I believe can change everything. Once we connect our giving with our emotions and passions, it unlocks a gear we never knew we had.

I'm writing about this today because something transpired under my roof this weekend. On Saturday afternoon, Finn decided he was going to get the mail. Then, something caught his eye. "Dad, you got something from the children's hospital. It must be a bill." I explained it's probably not a bill, but rather the hospital asking for help. That sparked his interest, so without further ado, he tore open the envelope. He spent the next hour reading, inspecting, and re-reading the documents. He was fixated on this letter. It talked about caring for kids and making sure their families are taken care of.

Fast forward a few hours later, and we were on the couch watching the annual CyHawk football game featuring our Iowa State Cyclones vs. the Iowa Hawkeyes. As much as I don't like the Hawkeyes (sorry, Hawk friends!), they have one of the most beautiful traditions in all of sports. After the conclusion of the first quarter, every person in the stadium - fans, players on both sides, refs, coaches, stadium employees - stop everything, turn their attention to the next-door children's hospital towering above, and wave at all the kids and families in the windows. It's a special moment each and every time. I turn into a puddle just writing about it, and I suspect you'll be the same if you watch this ESPN story.

As the wave began, both my kids were curious about what was happening. Finn especially took an interest in this. The cameras zoomed in on the kids at the windows, wildly waving at the stadium crowd with huge smiles on their faces. Some kids were bald from their treatment regimen, while others were in beds. Finn looked at the kids on the TV, then down to the pictures of kids in the hospital letter he had been reading.

Something clicked inside him. He looked sad, almost introspective. Then, without a word, he walked out of the living room toward his bedroom. He returned a few seconds later with a baggie of cash. "Dad, can I send my giving money to the kids' hospital?"

"You bet, bud. We absolutely can." We filled out the giving form, he delicately placed his $16 into the provided return envelope, and he wrote them a note explaining his gift. He had so much joy doing this. Later today, I'll drive him to the post office so he can personally drop the envelope in the mailbox.

Heartbreak. Joy. Impact. Finn is starting to get it.

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The Destinationless Journey

I was blessed to run into a group of friends yesterday. They were enjoying their weekly coffee outing together, so I crashed their conversation for a few minutes. Though that interaction was only 5-10 minutes, it blessed my day so much.

These four women are a few years ahead of me on their journey. I don't remember how the topic came up, but we began discussing upcoming career shifts (or what most people would refer to as retirement). It was interesting to hear each person's perspective on the topic. All were different and unique, but there was a common thread to each of their responses: What's about to happen is a new stage of the journey, not a destination.

I was so encouraged by their sentiment, which was brimming with impact and meaning. As I always say, work that matters matters. We were created to work, be productive, and serve others. These four women echoed those values in their words, which doesn't surprise me, having known them for many years.

Nobody said, "Wow, I'm just really looking forward to packing it in and riding off into the sunset." It was quite the opposite, actually. It was about finding new ways of making an impact, investing in their families, volunteering, and pursuing new types of work. Meaning, meaning, meaning, and meaning.

There is no finish line. It's a destinationless journey. When we view our lives through that lens, it changes everything. It reminds me of a conversation with a friend in his late 50s. He's done well for himself, and he's been encouraged to retire by many people around him. "You've earned it," they tell him. But every time the R-word gets brought up, he feels his mortality. Why? Because to him, it feels like the finish line of his productive life. In a way, that's cool; but in another way, it's quite sad.

I told him I thought it was all BS. He's in his 50s.....he's young! He still has 20-30 productive years left in him! That's like a long-distance Olympic runner completing two laps around the track, stopping, and calling it a race. The race isn't done yet, man!

I look up to my four friends. I'm so glad I had the chance to spend a few minutes with them yesterday. It encouraged me more than they will ever know. Impact knows no age. Servanthood doesn't retire. Meaningful work is available to all.

It's a destinationless journey. Keep running.

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“Throwing Away” a Career, Revisited

It's 2:30 AM. Sarah and I just pulled in from a 10-hour drive after visiting our best friends, Ryan and Anna. It feels like my brain is melting onto my laptop keyboard, as I single-handedly drove the entire 10 hours solo (Sarah failed to learn how to drive a stick over the last few days.....shame on her!). We intended to drive six hours today and then do the remaining four in the morning, but we got ambitious.

We had a wonderful time with Ryan and Anna. It ended up being 42 total hours together (including two nights of sleep), but it was jam-packed with laughter, memories, food, and good conversation......and Twenty One Pilots!

- I'm definitely kneeling in this picture.....

Given how much time I had to think during the drive home, my mind went in many different directions. Eventually, I found myself thinking back to an article I wrote more than four years ago. It was about Anna, but more specifically, about her counter-cultural career shifts. First, her decision to forego her WNBA career, and second, her decision to leave teaching to pursue her current calling. You can find the article here! While refueling at a gas station, I pulled the article up on my phone. A few thoughts rattled around my dreary, melting brain:

• Having written more than 800 articles since that one, I cringed a bit at my writing style and structure. It shows the power of repetition and consistency.

• It's fun to see how, even then, my perspective of work and meaning were quite similar to today. The phrase "meaning over money" hadn't yet been coined, but the values were loud and clear.

• Given the benefit of time, it's so fun to see how Anna's career shifts (or "thrown away" careers) have shaped her and impacted countless people.

• Nothing is wasted, indeed!

• Pursuing the type of journey that Anna did is far harder than we can imagine, but simultaneously more fulfilling than we can anticipate.

• Knowing what I know now, I'd double down on encouraging Anna in her controversial career shifts. I'd also encourage younger me to double down on this message.

• While I never took my relationship with Ryan and Anna for granted, I look back and wish I had squeezed every ounce of goodness from it I could while we lived near each other.

I'm grateful for my friend Anna, and I deeply admire how she took the path less traveled. It's not been an easy journey, but so many people have been blessed by her contributions to their lives. Someday, I hope she gets a window into some of that impact. Her legacy will have ripple effects, for sure.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, and I hope I'm still sleeping when you read this!

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Your Pain Has Purpose

Just a few hours ago, I walked out of the Twenty One Pilots concert. It's the first stop of their new world tour, and wow (wow!!!), what an amazing experience!

For two straight hours, Tyler Joseph ripped his heart out of his chest and splayed it out before a crowd of 21,000 energetic fans. I've seen him do it before, but it never ceases to amaze me. This man, like all of us, has his demons. Pain, suffering, tragedy, and ongoing anguish. He's broken, just like you and I. However, what sets Tyler apart is the fact he takes the darkest and most embarrassing pieces of his being and uses them to impact the world. Their shows are an exploration of faith, pain, perseverance, and the celebration of life. Last night was no exception!

It reminds me of listening to Joni Eareckson speak at the Global Leadership Summit last week. If you're not familiar with Joni, her life became a national news story in 1967 when, at the age of 17, she experienced a tragic accident while swimming with some friends. She inadvertently dove into shallow waters and became paralyzed from the shoulders down. In the following years, Joni harnessed her pain and unwelcomed circumstances to champion the creation of the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act), write more than 40 books, and become a lifelong advocate for more than a billion people who experience life with disabilities.

Joni's talk was one of the most moving things I've ever witnessed, and she received no less than four standing ovations. I spent the better part of 40 minutes with tears in my eyes, witnessing this woman pour out her soul before a room of strangers. "God uses our weaknesses to impact His kingdom," she exclaimed. Her humility and grace, despite all she's accomplished, stood out like no other. There were a million different people who had more influence, more experience, more smarts, and more skills who could have led this movement. Yet, in her words, God used a young woman, fresh off tragic, life-altering circumstances with no experience or influence, to create change in this world.

As I think about Joni's life and ministry, and continue to marvel at what Tyler does to impact millions of people, I keep coming back to the idea of pain and weakness. Our pain and weaknesses aren't something to hide from. We don't make a difference despite our pain, failings, and weaknesses. Rather, it's those unsavory parts of us that fuel us and have the ability to create a profound impact on this world.

I'll end with a confession. There are days that I'm nervous about hitting "publish" on this blog and our podcast. I share things I don't want to share. I expose myself when I could just bury it. However, deep down, I know that my pain, failings, and weaknesses are the tools with which I can make an impact.

The same goes for you......

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Yes, Even You (and Me)

I have a big talk coming up next week. It's not a large audience, as there will probably only be 100 people in the room. But it's a weighty audience. I have the honor of speaking to a group of people with far more experience and impact than I ever have. They are heroes in my book. Yet, these 100 people will take time out of their busy and productive days to listen to me try to add value to their lives. They will look to me for wisdom, insight, and influence. Imposter syndrome is starting to set in!!!

At the same time, I also confront a different type of reality: We ALL have something to offer. Yes, I have less experience than most of them. Yes, I'm making less impact than most of them (or at least that's what I tell myself!). Yes, I can surely learn a ton from sharing a meal with any one of them. But I have something to offer, too!

Despite the imposter syndrome, I intend for each person to walk out of that room with a completely different way of thinking. I want to equip and encourage them to be even more impactful in this next season of their mission. I aspire for them to look back on that block of their day and say to themselves, "Wow, I'm so glad I went!"

Both of those things can be simultaneously true. On the one hand, we can be in the company of people much further along than we are; on the other hand, we have something to offer them.

It reminds me of a recent conversation with a young professional. He wanted to pick my brain about podcasting and writing. He admires the work we're doing, and wanted to get some insights. Deep down, he's a marketing guy. He lives and breathes it. Recognizing that, I turned the tables on him and started asking him questions. This caught him off-guard, citing, "You have more experience in your pinky than I do in my whole body. You don't really want my advice!!"

Both things were true. I do have a lot more experience, and I did want his advice. He had something to offer, and I let him know that. He wavered somewhere between pride and disbelief, almost as if I was punking him. Eventually, though, he realized I was dead serious. Despite the vast experience gap, he had something valuable to offer me.

The same goes for you! Regardless of your age, background, experience, title, financial status, influence, or relationships, you have a ton to offer. And you don't just have something to offer in rooms full of people "below" you, but in all rooms. Even if you were sitting in a room with Elon Musk, you'd have something to offer him.

If what I just said is true, then perhaps we should all start sharing what we have to offer. No fear. No demeaning self-doubt. No imposter talk. Share it. Make an impact.

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No Truly Original Ideas

In just a few hours, I'll participate in my tenth consecutive Global Leadership Summit in Chicago. In my opinion, this is one of the best conferences in the world, and one of the few events I look forward to every year. It will include two jam-packed days of speakers, ideas, stories, and inspiration. It fills my tank every year, and I couldn't be more excited. Even better is that my guy TJ gets to join me for the third consecutive year. Here's the speaker lineup we're about to enjoy:

I've been reflecting on the idea of ideas. We like to think our ideas are uniquely ours. After all, they do get formulated in our brains and projected from our mouths (or fingers, in the case of this blog). However, there are no truly original ideas. Every good idea is formed from a base knowledge, which is absorbed from all around us. Nothing I type of rant about on the podcast is truly my own. Instead, I am blessed with the opportunity to receive knowledge, ideas, wisdom, and experience from others, process it, and formulate new-ish ideas of my own.

I'm a big believer in acting like a sponge. Think about the little kids in your life. Children absorb EVERYTHING! "But why?" "But why?" "But why?" Their curiosity knows no bounds. However, it's common for adults to get complacent in their curiosity once they leave their schooling years. I've been there. Life gets busy, we think we know enough, and we get set in our ways. The consequence of this approach to life is that we can lose perspective, fall behind on knowledge, and get stuck in our own existing ideas.

Instead, I believe we would all be better off continually seeking new ideas, knowledge, and perspectives. Books, movies, podcasts, online videos, or even a coffee with someone who has something to share. None of these are expensive (mostly free), and we have instant access to some of the brightest minds in the world.

Undoubtedly, any good idea I've ever had on this blog (plus the bad ones....) can 100% be attributed to other people who have blessed me with their knowledge, ideas, perspectives, and experience. That's why I get so jacked up for the GLS each year. I will most certainly go home better than when I left. And if I lean hard enough into these new ideas, I may be able to add more value to your lives as well.

That's the opportunity we each have every day. Always stay curious. Keep growing. Continue learning. Then, share your new-ish ideas with the world so they can grow and develop their own new-ish ideas.

Based on the speaker list above, who are you most curious to hear about? I’m excited to share some of their content in the days to come!

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A Different Kind of Currency

I recently received a message from a reader: "You put in so much work on the blog and podcast, but we get it all for free. Is there any way we can financially support you?"

No. No, there isn’t. No, you can’t. Your money is no good here (as they say in the movies)! I don't create 365 blog posts and 104 podcast episodes per year for money. After all, this is called Meaning Over Money.

However, I do deal in a different kind of currency. Instead of dollars and cents, I get paid in impact and change. Helping other people live a more meaningful life is the beautiful compensation I receive from this work.

Which brings me to you. The best way for me to create impact and cause change is for more eyes to read and more ears to listen. If anything I write or say moves the needle for you, and you think it could perhaps move the needle for someone else in your life, would you mind sharing? As you might have noticed, I've been experimenting with a footer on every day's post that includes a link to subscribe to the blog. The daily e-mail also includes a link to the podcast. Therefore, any time you forward an e-mail, send a blog link, or share the podcast, you're paying me with the most valuable currency I could ever ask for: The opportunity to serve someone.

I would be honored to speak into the life of someone you care about. On the flip side, please share with me if there are other people, resources, blogs, podcasts, or content that adds value to your life (and you think I might benefit, too). We all get better when we share good ideas. I'm honored when my ideas get shared, but I'm also blessed when ideas get shared with me. Let's multiply this culture of sharing. We never know what will happen when the right content hits the right person on the right day. Impact!

Blessed to be on this journey with you!

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But Not As a Lifestyle

Our family has had a great week at the lake. Lots of fun times and memories made. There are components of my day that are so appealing. Playing in the pool with the boys. Sitting at the dock and enjoying the calmness. Sleeping in (if the boys allow). Spending time on a boat. Cooking meals for my family (I love when I get to cook). So good!

I love everything about my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. What makes lake life (or insert any type of vacation here) awesome is the fact it's a treat. It's a pause from life. It's a reprieve from an otherwise crazy life. It's the reward for all the good work. It's an opportunity to rest up before jumping back into battle. The fact it's scarce is what makes it all that much sweeter.

I love my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. This is one of the biggest myths of the early retirement movement. There's a broad belief that stopping work and dedicating one's life to simply living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. I couldn't disagree more, and the science couldn't, either. People who live a leisurely life report lower levels of satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side, people who work and believe they are productive and adding value to others have much higher levels of overall life satisfaction.

I have a friend who just retired at 46. He and his wife believe they found a secret hack to life and will now live a far superior life than all of us working suckers. Their plan is to aimlessly bounce around from beach to beach, resort to resort. Never worry, though. They will "be sure to keep busy," as if busy is the definition of fulfillment. They are a few weeks into this adventure and report feeling "happier than ever." This makes sense, since vacations add a lot of value to our lives. However, what will happen to them in two, four, or six weeks when the vacation doesn't end? What will happen when there's nothing meaningful or fulfilling to return to? If we're looking at the science, the future doesn't look so bright. Time will tell, and I'll be sure to keep you updated.

I miss work. I miss serving those I have the privilege of serving. I can't wait to get back soon. At the same time, I would love to spend time at the lake monthly. Swoop in, recharge the batteries, make a few memories, then get back to work. Work, rest, work, rest. Oh yeah, some sun, too!

I hope you find time to get away. Go have fun. Make some memories. Get some much-needed rest. But you probably don't want to make it a lifestyle. You have far too much value to add to this world (and to yourself).

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