But Not As a Lifestyle

Our family has had a great week at the lake. Lots of fun times and memories made. There are components of my day that are so appealing. Playing in the pool with the boys. Sitting at the dock and enjoying the calmness. Sleeping in (if the boys allow). Spending time on a boat. Cooking meals for my family (I love when I get to cook). So good!

I love everything about my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. What makes lake life (or insert any type of vacation here) awesome is the fact it's a treat. It's a pause from life. It's a reprieve from an otherwise crazy life. It's the reward for all the good work. It's an opportunity to rest up before jumping back into battle. The fact it's scarce is what makes it all that much sweeter.

I love my time at the lake, but not as a lifestyle. This is one of the biggest myths of the early retirement movement. There's a broad belief that stopping work and dedicating one's life to simply living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. I couldn't disagree more, and the science couldn't, either. People who live a leisurely life report lower levels of satisfaction and happiness. On the flip side, people who work and believe they are productive and adding value to others have much higher levels of overall life satisfaction.

I have a friend who just retired at 46. He and his wife believe they found a secret hack to life and will now live a far superior life than all of us working suckers. Their plan is to aimlessly bounce around from beach to beach, resort to resort. Never worry, though. They will "be sure to keep busy," as if busy is the definition of fulfillment. They are a few weeks into this adventure and report feeling "happier than ever." This makes sense, since vacations add a lot of value to our lives. However, what will happen to them in two, four, or six weeks when the vacation doesn't end? What will happen when there's nothing meaningful or fulfilling to return to? If we're looking at the science, the future doesn't look so bright. Time will tell, and I'll be sure to keep you updated.

I miss work. I miss serving those I have the privilege of serving. I can't wait to get back soon. At the same time, I would love to spend time at the lake monthly. Swoop in, recharge the batteries, make a few memories, then get back to work. Work, rest, work, rest. Oh yeah, some sun, too!

I hope you find time to get away. Go have fun. Make some memories. Get some much-needed rest. But you probably don't want to make it a lifestyle. You have far too much value to add to this world (and to yourself).

____

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Why Must You Taunt Me, Apple?

As I attempted to write today's post, my phone oddly and repeatedly reminded me of past photos. Hey look, Travis, it's a cute picture of Pax eating ice cream when he was 3! Travis, check out this handsome little 2-year-old Finny riding a boat. It was almost as if Apple and Father Time were teaming up to taunt me.

Early in my parenting journey, someone said something that I didn't quite understand: "The days are long, but the years are short." It made zero sense to me. Fast-forward eight years, and no truer phrase has ever been spoken.

As we're on our annual family vacation in Okoboji, these days with the boys can seem painfully long (especially when they antagonize each other). We're having a blast, but it can just get long at times. On the flip side, how is it already our fifth year on this trip?!?!

They were babies last week. They were toddlers yesterday. Now, we're heading into second grade. As I'm sitting here lamenting how fast time is flying by, I'm simultaneously grateful for creating a life that allows us plenty of family time. My work is crazy, the hours can be long, and it often involves me zig-zagging across the country, but we've intentionally curated this life. Strong-ish boundaries, clear expectations, a partially well-thought-out plan, and a firm understanding of our why.

We've made so many sacrifices in the name of prioritizing our family. We've downsized our house, threw away status, detonated any chance of an early retirement (which makes my heart happy), trashed a boujee lifestyle, and literally turned our backs on millions of dollars.

There are months when I wonder what in the heck we did to ourselves. The months when there's barely enough income to account for our needs and giving. The months that feel extra stressful. The months when I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't taken a weird detour five years ago.

But then, like today, Apple decides I need to get some cute and harsh reminders of how fast time flies by spamming me with old photos. Oh yeah (!!), that's why we do what we do.

The days are long, but the years are short. In due time, I'll be an old man reflecting on my life. There will inevitably be many regrets circling my thoughts. However, I guarantee choosing meaning over money will NOT be one of them. Money, stuff, and status are fleeting. Legacy is forever.

Beauty From the Pain

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a friend who is going through a ton of pain. Personal pain, career pain, lots of pain. This stuff has rocked her world. Through this mess, she has made a few brutal decisions about her next steps. Decisions that have loved ones scratching their heads and/or criticizing her. To sum up my opinion, I believe her controversial decisions will be transformative for her journey. While it feels far too heavy at the moment, I deeply believe she will look back and view these challenging decisions as a hallmark turning point in her life. Beauty will soon rise from the pain.

As I was listening to her gut-wrenching tale, I couldn't help but think about my own painful journey. The pain and frustration in her voice took me back to 2008, at age 27, just as I was settling into my life and young career. I thought I had life figured out. I bought a house, met a girl, found a church, built a community, and loved my career. I had life all figured out.....or so I thought.

Then, one day, as I was walking into my office, I was swiftly pulled into a conference room by a stranger. There, I met all my co-workers seated around a table. Over the coming few minutes, I realized my entire life was about to crumble around me. It was the beginning of the Great Financial Crisis, and I was in the real estate investing business. Long story short, my company was getting shut down, and we would all eventually be fired.

Did I mention I had been engaged for just three days? I woke up that morning with all the optimism in the world and went to bed wondering what I would do with my life. I also faced the scary reality that I needed to make monthly payments on my $236,000 debt with the likelihood of not having a job soon. That was easily one of the hardest few days of my life. Even writing about it gives me terrifying flashbacks.

Ultimately, I was blessed with an opportunity (er, ultimatum) to move to Iowa and continue my career. I didn't want to move, but we didn't have much of a choice. Sarah and I humbly and gratefully accepted the offer, and we reluctantly moved a few months later (well, I moved, and we lived four hours apart for six months of our engagement).

So much pain. So so much pain. Yet, as I now look back at that season with the benefit of 16 years of perspective, that nightmare was actually one of the best gifts we ever received. So much beauty came from that pain. We wouldn't live the life we have today without that season of suffering. We're not mad.....we're grateful.

Someday, preferably sooner than later, I hope my friend sees how much beauty came from this season of her life. She deserves it!

Whatever pain you're experiencing, just know that a beautiful chapter will soon be written. Keep pressing on. You deserve it, too.

____

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Who and Why

Making guest appearances on podcasts is one of my favorite hobbies. There's something profoundly appealing about the opportunity to share some words, ideas, and encouragement with an audience I may otherwise never have access to. I recently had the privilege of spending time on the Masters in Travel Podcast (Episode 179 - on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts). This was a unique format, though. While we did record a traditional podcast episode, it was done in a group setting. There were a few dozen members of the Masters in Travel community on the Zoom call with us. This community and its broader podcast audience is comprised of travel agents from all over the country. It was a fun group and an enjoyable conversation! I highly recommend you check it out.

Toward the beginning of the episode, I talked about the importance of the who and the why. Who are we called to serve, and why are we called to serve them? A big piece of that equation, especially on the front end, is understanding what we're really selling. I got pretty jazzed up with this audience. Not because I have a particular affinity for travel agents, but because of what they are really selling. In a world where virtually everything we buy will be in a landfill in a handful of years, they sell something that will last forever: memories! Travel agents are in the memories business. That's a tremendously profound idea. When we think of it that way, what a rich, fulfilling, and legacy-driven occupation!

Once we understand what we're really selling, it clarifies the who and the why. Some agents may specialize in helping young families create an unforgettable Disney experience for their children. Others might unlock otherwise intimidating experiences for curious adventurers. Still, others may help retirees create once-in-a-lifetime experiences they've dreamed about for decades.

In our respective occupations, the moment we truly understand the who and the why is the moment we discover the special combo of finding meaning in our work and creating impact on the world.

I'll use my business as an example. Yes, I provide financial coaching services, but I'm not really selling financial advice. Rather, I'm helping people unlock a more fulfilling, impactful, and meaningful journey. It just happens to be through the lens of personal finance. I also have a keen sense of the who: 20-somethings and 30-somethings who realize there's a much more meaningful life to be lived than what our culture encourages.

Each of you has your own version of this. Truth is, it’s so easy to lose sight of these things while we’re battling in the trenches day to day. Sometimes, we just need to pause, take a step back, and remember our mission—the who and the why.

Who do you serve? Why do you serve them? What are you really selling? I encourage you to take a moment today to think about these questions.

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The Blink of An Eye

A little more than eight years ago, Sarah and I were a mid-30s couple who aspired to one day have children. Just a handful of days later, we were the parents of twin baby boys. We went from “we wish” to “oh crap” in about twelve seconds. We bought car seats, bottles, clothes, and diapers AFTER meeting them for the first time. We didn’t even have a room ready for them. Our lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. 

For as much as we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, reality often plays out differently. Birth, death, job loss, marriage, sickness, career shifts, divorce....all sudden forces that have the power to change our lives in the blink of an eye. There’s a problem, though. When we think we have a firm grasp on our lives, we act as though we have a firm grip on our lives. In the financial arena, it typically means that we create our personal cost structure that works for one reality: the present one. 

I often meet with couples who were feeling fairly confident in their finances for years, until _____ happened last month. As long as their family is healthy, employed, and not making any changes, they can keep the train on the tracks. However, when we structure our life so specifically, it doesn’t allow margin for life to happen.

It reminds me of a situation that still haunts me to this day. Many years ago, I was meeting with a couple. Two strong careers, no kids. They lived in a beautiful home, drove luxury cars, and took exotic trips. Between their hefty mortgage, two obscene car payments, and a glitzy lifestyle, their monthly expenses absorbed most of their income. I asked them about kids. I recommended they start making some shifts in lifestyle to create margin for changing circumstances. Namely, I suggested they consider what-if scenarios that may include one of them working part-time or staying home completely. Before I could finish, the wife snapped at me, “I’m not staying home. Zero chance!” They completely shut that conversation down. Over the next few meetings, I tried to bring it up again, pointing out that sometimes, but not all the time, having children shifts career aspirations and jumbles priorities. Again, they were adamant there’s zero chance of either staying home. Thus, they continued down the same path. 

Fast forward 18 months, and they gave birth to a beautiful baby. Then comes our next coaching session. Wanna guess what the topic of conversation was? The wife, now a mom, was desperate to stay home with her baby. Life changed in the blink of an eye, but they structured a life that works for just one reality. When I visually showed them there was no way she could stay home (or even work part-time) without completely gutting their lifestyle (house, cars, travel, etc.), there were a lot of tears. So sad!

Life can change in the blink of an eye. Knowing that, it’s imperative that we structure our life in a way that allows us to shift with it.

Ready to Jump Back In

I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July yesterday. We had a blast. We spent the day in my hometown, which is known for its epic July 4th celebration. The day was jam-packed with fun events, tasty food, and, of course, fireworks. We're heading home later today, and I'll be attending the wedding of a former youth group kid tomorrow. To summarize, this is a pretty awesome weekend.

All that said, I'm ready to jump back into work. I have lots of good things in store next week, and I'm excited to get going. Truth is, I feel this most weeks. Even when I'm having the best weekend, I'm simultaneously looking forward to work. It's an odd and understandably counter-cultural reality.

Considering that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, it's obvious that most people don't have a similar perspective. The majority of people crave Fridays, dread Mondays, and find Sunday afternoon the most depressing time of the week. I'm fully aware of these dynamics and have spent time in this camp.

On the flip side, there's a growing number of people in my life who are pursuing a different sort of reality—the type of reality that allows them to enjoy their weekends and vacations but be equally excited to get back to work.

This is a hot take, but I believe this is a reality that everyone can have. I take a lot of flack for saying things like that, but I truly believe it. Work can have meaning. Work should have meaning. That doesn't mean work should replace our personal life in terms of fulfillment and meaning, but rather add to it. We don't have to choose one or another......we can (and should) have both.

Someday, when I'm gone (hopefully a long time from now), I hope one of the legacies I leave behind is this: the conviction, confidence, and commitment people have to pursue work that matters. This is one of my greatest purposes. There is no more fulfilling endeavor for me than to help people find the path of meaning—not meaning in their personal lives, but meaning... period. No matter what I accomplish, watching someone shift gears and fully pursue the life they were meant to live is the ultimate high.

If you're reading this and feel excited about what you'll be doing next week, congrats! That's a massive win, and I'm so encouraged by that. If you feel anything but excited about what's to come on the other side of this long holiday weekend, just know better is out there. I sincerely hope you gain the conviction, confidence, and commitment to find it. It's a difficult pursuit, but so, so worth it.

Sometimes Dreams Change

I had a chance encounter with a rarely-seen friend (I love it when that happens!). Our chat was brief but jam-packed. One piece stood out to me, though. She mentioned that her job—her "dream job"—wasn't doing it for her anymore. She's been in the same role for 15 years. In it, she's made a lot of impact and has truly lived her best life. It was everything she hoped it would be......except now it's not.

Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about here. She's living the ideal life she has always wanted, yet she'sexperiencing this silent, behind-the-scenes misery. Do you know the other emotion she's feeling? Guilt. The guilt of getting exactly what she wanted, but now being discontent.

Here's how she put it: "I used to be excited each morning. Now, I don't even care if I go or not. It feels pointless."

Ouch. I really feel for her. This is something that many Americans are experiencing, yet it's not often talked about. Most of this happens behind closed doors.

The truth is, sometimes dreams change. She's not the same person she was 15 years ago. That's neither bad nor good.....just reality. We grow, evolve, and experience lots of life along the way. It's inevitable.

She has three choices:

1. Sit in her misery and find a way to coast out the rest of her career with her sanity intact.

2. Find a way to revitalize meaning and purpose in her current job.

3. Find a new dream and pursue it as aggressively as she pursued the first one.

After further discussion, it sounds like option #2 is off the table. She's tried that approach, and she's running out of steam.A few thoughts on option #3:

• It's ok to change. Change isn't an admission of defeat. Rather, it's the beginning of a new journey.

• Changing careers isn't "throwing away" something. Instead, it's a way to repurpose those skills, experience, relationships, and influence.

• It's going to be uncomfortable, and that's ok. Discomfort is the gateway to growth. Embrace it.

• Life is long, so we might as well fill those weeks, months, and years with something that fills our tank.

• Life is short, so we shouldn't waste it!

• Other people's opinions don't matter. You're the one who has to wake up each morning and live your life.

• The best is yet to come!

Sometimes dreams change. When they do, we must change with them. Young Travis had some pretty cool dreams, but I eventually outgrew most of them....older Travis's dreams are far cooler. As much as I cherish and respect young Travis's dreams, I'm not that guy anymore. It would be foolish for me to pursue someone else's dreams.

Don't feel guilty if your dreams are changing. Perhaps it's time to change with them.

Randy Off the Top Rope!

I received a message from my friend Randy after a recent blog post about a couple in England who recently made drastic career shifts. Here's what he said:

"If you don't have your priorities straight, a job or career change is not going to help.  You will just be unhappy in a different place, and it could be with less income and more financial strain."

Sharp. Sharp, but true. I want to sit on this thought for today. I often get criticized for advocating that people leave their jobs and pursue work that matters. I need to clarify this perspective. I'm not actually advocating for people to leave their jobs as much as I'm advocating for people to simply pursue a life of meaning. Considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, and we've collectively been lulled into lives of tolerance (or quiet suffering), my sentiment often seems to point in that direction.

The truth, however, is that my friend Randy is right. Change, for change's sake, provides no long-term meaning, satiation, contentment, or fulfillment. Without truly understanding our priorities or how we define a meaningful life, a career shift isn't the remedy we're looking for.

For many of us, and I think Randy's career testimony would be a perfect representation of this, we're already in meaningful jobs. However, if we're pursuing everyone else's definition of success, status, and winning, we might lose sight of what actually matters to us. I'll give you an example.

One of my clients was discontent with his job. He felt frustrated and bored. He looked around and saw his co-workers being promoted to "more important positions." While he was good at his work, he started feeling like it was beneath him. He was impatient and fidgety. He started waking up every day with a slight dread about his day. In other words, he joined the 70% club. As we started talking about it, however, he realized something. When he was able to set his jealousy of co-workers aside, stop worrying about status, and remember why he took this job in the first place, his perspective shifted. He realized the following:

• He was dang good at his job, and used his skills to benefit many people.

• He believes in the mission of the organization.

• His current role allows him to find a healthy balance between work, marriage, and parenting responsibilities. His lifestyle was exactly what he wanted.

• He made a solid income that allowed his family to pay for needs, give sacrificially, afford some fun things/experiences, and save for future wants/needs.

• He has many valuable relationships with co-workers and clients alike. He cherishes these relationships.

• His office is near his house, offering an amazing commute.

In other words, he was living in misery while working a job that's perfect for him. Because he didn't have his priorities straight, as Randy points out, no change was going to save him. However, after realizing what's truly important, he understands he's truly blessed.

Perspective matters! Clear priorities matter, too!

“It IS Possible”

I recently received the most beautiful message from a stranger: "It IS Possible."

For a while, that's the only message I saw. You can probably guess the bewilderment I felt when I received that message from a total stranger. Luckily, another message followed. It was from a 40-something in England. He is married with two young teens. He explained that he's lived his entire career with the mindset that his primary objective is to provide as much income (and build as much wealth) as possible, and then retire as soon as possible. He was living a normal life, but it felt increasingly intolerable.

Then, he found our Meaning Over Money podcast. He said he connected with some of the stories we shared but thought our meaning over money principles sounded absurd (especially from Americans, whom he stereotypes as materialistic and money-hungry). However, the more he listened, the more he wondered if there was, in fact, a better life for him and his family.

Eventually, he did something drastic. He and his wife took a sharp turn, and both made drastic career shifts. "It was the scariest thing we've ever done. Still is." They elected to buck culture's narrative about work, money, and wealth to pursue something better. Fast forward more than a year, he said their lives have been transformed. They make a little less money, care much less about building wealth, and are leaning hard into work that matters. They also shared how their kids have noticed a shift in their attitudes, demeanor, and marriage. I loved that part, and I'm so grateful they took the time to share this amazing story with me! It IS possible!

Multiple times per week, I'm told that my ideas are far-fetched, naive, impractical, and/or dangerous. While I don't love these comments, I get it. The entire premise of living a meaning over money life is kinda crazy, and significantly counter-cultural. It's a tough pill to swallow to consider these principles may actually produce a rich and meaningful life. Deciding to jump off the hamster wheel of more is one of the scariest things ever. Even if you feel confident in that decision, nearly every area of life will make you doubt yourself. Friends, family, co-workers, movies, music, TV.....everything! I understand the odds are stacked against us here. So when someone reaches out to communicate their recent pursuit of a different kind of life, I celebrate. Just one of those messages can drown out 500 criticisms.

It IS possible to live a rich and meaningful life where you wake up each morning excited about what you're about to do—not because it's fun, but because it matters. A life that you aren't in a hurry to retire from.

If you're living such a life today, this is my virtual fist bump to you. You've already won. I don't care how much money you make, what your title is, or how wealthy you are. You won! If this isn't you, please know it IS possible.

The Myth of Job Security

One of the biggest knocks against freelancing, entrepreneurship, self-employment, contract work, and business ownership is that you don't have "job security." This is indeed true. Most people who fit into this camp don't have job security. 

Implied in this "no job security" sentiment is a (false) belief people with traditional employment do have job security. I'm sad to report that they don't. I believe this is a massive and destructive myth in our culture. Every week, I speak with people who had "job security" and have recently lost their jobs. It's always sad, and I have tremendous empathy for them. I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone. But it happens! There's no such thing as job security! It may feel like it along the way, but when push comes to shove, there isn't.

Please don't hear me demeaning traditional employment. I'm a big believer in it.....just not because it seemingly offers "job security." Work has meaning. Jobs have meaning. All work has meaning....including traditional W-2 jobs (which I had for 15 years, by the way!). 

Rather, I think we put ourselves at risk when we believe we have job security:

• We can let our guard down and not be financially prepared for the incomprehensible scenario in which we lose our jobs. We might not have an adequate emergency fund as a back-stop.

• We can get complacent and stop growing in our skills.

• We don't bother to diversify our finances. Instead, we keep all our income eggs in one basket.

• We don't contemplate backup plans for alternative jobs/careers.

• We might ignore our passion, calling, and desire to do something different with less "job security." In other words, we let our desire for job security keep us in a place we aren't supposed to be. 

Indeed, I don't have job security. There's zero promise that my family will make enough money to survive next month. That's scary! Every month is an adventure, and I just hope I can piece it together well enough to make ends meet. My business's income is made up of dozens of smaller pieces. If I put the pieces together, I eat. If I don't, then I guess we starve. But the burden is on me to figure it out.

You know what's scarier? The reality that someone else can make one simple decision and my job is gone tomorrow. A wave of the magic wand.....poof, gone! That's the reality so many people are dealing with right now. We wake up in the morning enjoying our job security, then go to bed unemployed.....at the snap of one's fingers. 

I don't write this to make people fearful. I don't want that. Living in fear isn't a life of meaning. Instead, I want people to reckon with the reality there's really no such thing as job security. And if that's true, would you still make the same job decision? In other words, would you choose a different path if your job isn't secure anyway? Food for thought.  

The Cure For the Sunday Scares

I had a fantastic weekend! Good food, good travel, good activities with the kids, and (mostly) good rest. Last night, as I was preparing for a 3AM wake-up to fly to Houston, I couldn't help but think about how excited I was for my week. Not because it's going to be fun (it won't be), but because it matters. I have the opportunity to serve my client for the next four days, including some difficult projects and challenging meetings. Fun isn't a word I'd use to describe it, but meaningful is. I usually feel that excited anticipation on Sunday nights, and it's something I love most about my life. 

What about you? How do you feel on Sunday nights? Do you get the Sunday Scaries? You know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe your chest tightens up, you yearn for more weekend time, or you start dreading what's to come. Statistics show that 4PM on Sundays is the most depressing hour of the week. It makes sense. We've spent the last 48 hours relaxing, spending time with people we love, possibly traveling, and perhaps engaging in fun hobbies. Then, reality sets in. We realize we'll be in bed in a few hours, then wake up to five days of doing something we probably don't want to do. Ouch!

There is a cure for the Sunday Scaries, though. Want to know what it is? It's not an answer so much as a question. As you sit in your Sunday Scaries, what would the next day or next week need to look like for you not to feel that way? Maybe it's adding something. Maybe it's subtracting something. Maybe it's altering something. 

If your answer is, "I'd rather be sitting by the pool with a margarita," you're thinking too short-sighted. Don't get me wrong, I'll take a margarita by the pool any day! But that's not life. That's a treat. Yes, treat yourself. Yes, find time to do cool things. 

Through the lens of living a productive life where you serve others and provide financially for your family, what would tomorrow need to look like to not feel the Sunday Scaries? Many of you already know the answer. However, there's a cost.....and the cost can feel steep. It may include one or more of the following:

• Less security

• Less income

• Less comfort

• Less status

• Less wants

• Less wealth

• Less predictability

Pursuing a different sort of life may require the loss of something you hold dear. However, it's also important to recognize what you'll gain:

• Meaning

• Fulfillment

• Purpose

• Impact

• Contentment

• Adventure

On the surface, the upside of the latter doesn't seem nearly as weighty as the downside of the former. But let me put it this way. I've seen countless people pursue money and comfort, only to turn away from it. On the flip side, I've never seen someone pursue meaning and then decide it's not for them. 

I encourage you to reflect on your Sunday Scaries, and ask yourself what the cure is. Believe me, there is one!

I Met a Weird Guy

I met a guy last week. I had a blast spending time with him. He shared about his journey, his expertise, his passions, and his business. He is a sincere, thoughtful, and generous person. He's also really weird. Yeah, you heard that right. He's a really weird guy. 

Now, before you get upset with me publicly insulting a grown man in front of thousands of people, some context is in order. He's in his early 50s, a seasoned veteran in his field. His most recent position was CEO for a reputable firm. According to conventional wisdom and our prevailing culture, he could do some consulting work for a few years as he coasts toward an early retirement. The table is set for a comfortable and short end to his accomplished career. He could ride off into the sunset and enjoy a life of leisure that everyone probably tells him he deserves. 

Instead, however, he's starting over. He's entering into arguably the most challenging season of his career. He's creating something new from scratch. It's a secular company, but tied closely to his faith. There's a powerful mission tied to it, and if it goes even marginally well, many lives will be impacted. He's uncomfortable, nervous, uncertain, and totally out of his element.....and he's loving every second of it. When he talks about it, his eyes light up, and he has the energy of a 28-year-old.

The world says to race to the finish line, and he's over here starting a new race. 

The world says to stay comfortable, and he just threw that word out the window. 

The world says to coast, and he's pushing his foot on the accelerator. 

The world says he should "actually enjoy his life," and he's doing just that—except enjoying life doesn't mean living a life of leisure. Instead, it means waking up each morning with meaning and purpose. From what he told me, I suspect he's enjoying life more now than ever—not because his life is fun, but because it matters (a ton!). 

The world says to be normal, and he's out there being a complete weirdo. So yeah, I met a weird guy last week. He's the kind of guy who reminds me why I do what I do. He's living a life that reminds me there's an army of people taking the road less traveled. Pursuing work that matters. Throwing comfort out the window. Following a greater calling. Meaning over money. I love my new weird friend!

The Irony of Feeding Ourself

At the risk of being Captain Obvious here, I think feeding our family is important. You know, food on the table, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and transportation to get to and from. See, that was very Captian Obvious-y of me.

But it's true. Through the course of life, it's imperative that we find ways to create enough income to care for our family's basic needs. For this reason, and to no surprise, most people's primary objective for work is to financially provide. There are a lot of other good parts that fall into it (like meaning, fulfillment, relationships, etc.), but at a very core level, providing for one's family is key.

While I totally get why and how this happens, this instinctual need to provide can also be self-sabotaging. If we're not careful (and we often aren't), it causes us to focus on ourselves first, and others second. This behavioral dynamic is counter-productive when endeavoring to make an income, as we're being paid to add value to others. Therefore, the act of focusing on ourselves first makes us less valuable in the marketplace.

Therefore, I've adopted a saying that I use often with my clients....especially business owners. "The best way to feed ourselves is to feed others." Said another way, when we help people thrive, we subsequently get to thrive. When others win, we win. When we add value to an organization, value is added to our bank account. Cause and effect.

When we make it about us, we lose (albeit slowly in many cases). Instead, we should endeavor to add value, add more value, and maybe add a bit more value. Then, we will undoubtedly get fed. It’s hard to view work through this lens, but when we do, it changes everything.

The best way to win is to help others win. I hope you help a lot of people win today!

A Leprechaun, a Mermaid, and Loch Ness Walk into a Bar

"I'm living my dream!" 

I've heard this exact phrase from three people in the last two weeks. It's hard to imagine how four simple words can have such profound ripple effects. Considering seven out of ten Americans dislike or hate their job, it's pretty rare to find people who voluntarily say they are living their dream.

Yet, people do it every day—I see them with my own eyes! Unicorns exist, leprechauns are real, mermaids aren't figments of our imagination, Bigfoot is stomping around in remote woods, and the Loch Ness Monster is swimming just below the surface. 

There's a very real and heavy cultural pushback against any narrative suggesting we can successfully pursue meaning over money. It seems so far-fetched. We're told it's impossible to live with deep meaning without going broke, so why even bother? We're encouraged to find something "good enough" and hold onto it for dear life. It could be worse, right? Sure, we might not like our life and our work, but it could suck a whole lot more! Therefore, compromise, lower the bar, and dilute your dreams. This is the message jammed down our throats, day in and day out. 

Yet, I regularly encounter people living it out in the most beautiful and counter-cultural ways. To call these people encouraging would be the understatement of a lifetime. I dare call them heroes. 

I have a new tradition. Every time someone tells me they are living their dream, I ask them a few questions. First, I ask what part(s) of their life they are referring to. What constitutes "living my dream?" It's usually a combination of work, family, friends, and serving (never money). Then, I ask them the juicy question: How?

Today, I want to give you a little glimpse into how these dream livers answer this question. How have they managed to live their dream? Here's what they said:

• Know and believe that our dream life DOES exist.....it IS possible. 

• Define what we truly want.....and why. It's hard to hit a target we can't see. Know what matters.

• Make very intentional decisions. Whether they are small decisions or huge decisions, ensure our choices align with our dreams. "Will this pull me closer or push me further from my vision?"

• Pray about it....and pray for it.

• Watch doors open, watch doors close. When an opportunity doesn't work out, it's not a failure. It just means a door is closing.....and other doors will surely open. 

• Don't be afraid to walk through the doors. The unknown is scary, but regret is scarier. 

• Don't let money dictate our steps. Yes, we must make enough to live, but money isn't the objective. Sometimes, we need to make choices that will (at least temporarily) hurt our finances. Always meaning over money.

• Allow the dream to change as we change. It's not etched in stone, and can be a moving target.

• It probably won't be easy. A dream life is often a hard life.

Are you living your dream life? If not, just know that unicorns ARE real. 

The Drink That Satiates

When I was a kid, I distinctly remember an advertising battle between Coke and Pepsi. The rivalry ran so deep that they would openly bash one another in their TV and print ads (at least that's how my questionable childhood brain remembers it). Anyway, one of the nuances I remember playing out was this back-and-forth debate about taste tests. Despite Coke being the overwhelmingly favorite drink of consumers, Pepsi continually (and oddly) produced results showing they were preferred in taste tests.

Here's where things get interesting, and it has to do with one particular word: "taste." Pepsi would win taste tests, yet people would buy Coke. Why? People don't taste pop; they drink it. Pepsi's taste was more appealing (dare I say sexy?), but it wasn't satiating. The surface-level appeal works great as long as you're just tasting it......but that's not how the product is consumed.

Happiness is the same thing. It tastes great. It's extremely appealing....even sexy. We violently pursue it with our actions and behaviors (often counterproductively). But just like Pepsi, it's not satiating. And like our pop-drinking experience, we're not in the tasting business. We don't taste life.....we drink it….we live it.

This is why, in my humble but convicted opinion, we often live with a void in our lives. We do everything we can to fill this void with happiness, but happiness is fleeting. I drove my new (to me) 350Z for a bit yesterday. It was only 36 degrees out, but I rolled the top down and cranked up the Twenty One Pilots. It made me happy. It was pure fun. It was also fleeting. That's not to demean the experience or treat it as if it doesn't matter. Rather, it's fair to recognize money, stuff, and status cannot satiate us. They can provide a momentary jolt of happiness (tastes great!), but it doesn't fill the void.

It's okay to taste the Pepsis of life. They taste good! They're appealing. They're fun. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! On the flip side, we need to recognize those things can never and will never satiate. They aren't the prescription for what ails us. They aren't the solution to fill the void.

Instead, what we're really searching for meaning and fulfillment. We're looking for something that motivates us to get out of bed and gives us the opportunity to make a difference. That idea takes a few different forms. First, generosity. Generosity fills our tanks unlike any material self-satisfying purchase can. Generosity always wins, and the giver is often the biggest beneficiary of the gift. Second, we need to pursue work that matters. Not work that pays a ton. Not work that gives us status. Not work that's fun. Not work that's easy. Work that matters. Using our gifts and passions to make a difference. Be productive. Add value to others. It’s simple, but powerful.

That's the Coke of life. It's not as appealing or sexy, and it doesn't give us that instant jolt, but man, it satiates! Drink up!

Maximize Your Life, Not Your Income

Career shifts are scary. They are an act of trust. We're leaving something familiar and transitioning to the unknown. When considering a career shift, conventional wisdom says we need to build up our future income until it meets or exceeds our current income, then jump ship. This advice is repeatedly and confidently bestowed by one of our culture's most prominent financial gurus.

I couldn't disagree more with this strategy. It's a form of anchoring. Whether we're currently making $50,000 or $500,000, we're told that's the hurdle. That's the threshold for success. We need to recreate this level of income in our new chapter of life. Why? What's the point? So we can live the very same lifestyle? So we can continue making the same amount of financial progress? Regardless of the answer, the point of this idea is to maximize our income. Culture is fine if we want to change jobs, but only if we continue to make as much money as possible.

Again, I couldn't disagree more. Instead of maximizing our income, I believe we should maximize our lives. When I left my prior career nearly five years ago, our family took a 90% pay cut (when we had twin two-year-olds). That was one of the scariest things we've ever done. Not only did we not follow conventional wisdom, we blatantly disrespected it. People were quite unhappy with this decision. People who love me dearly. People who were terrified for our family's fate.

When Sarah and I made that switch, not only could we not maintain the same lifestyle and financial progress as before, but we literally didn't make enough income to pay our monthly bills. It took seven months to claw our way to a place where our monthly income was enough to pay for our basic needs. Again, that was terrifying!

The only reason we could physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally do this is because we weren't trying to maximize our income. We were trying to maximize our life. And maximize we did! It was the hardest thing we've ever done but also the most rewarding. It allowed us to live with meaning, create impact, and unlock a richer life.

As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about several friends who desperately want to make career shifts. They are passionate and brilliant at their craft. They will surely change the world. Their future is brighter than the sun. Just one problem, though. They are falling for the lie. They have been led to believe their new income must match their current income before making the shift. They don't. That's ridiculous. Each of them could make the shift today, and their lives would immediately benefit (as would the lives of those whom they would subsequently serve with their gifts and passions). They don't even need to take a 90% pay cut. For most, it's 10%, 20%, or maybe even 30%. Small price to pay for a life of meaning and impact.

If you're reading this, you know who you are! Do it! This is your time!

The Kids Feel It

There's one statistic that lives rent-free in my head. I've mentioned it multiple times on this blog, in the podcast, and in my keynote talk. According to a Gallup poll, 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. It's actually higher than 70% since they recommissioned the study post-COVID, but 70% is a nice round number and rolls off the tongue. 7 out of 10 Americans!!! It's bonkers. It's also normalized in our culture. Not only is it ok to perpetually hate our work, but we believe that's how it's supposed to be.

Do you know who doesn't find it acceptable? Our kids. In fact, they profoundly feel the impact of our work. We parents might think our kids are isolated from the realities of our work, but that's a naive notion.

I first became aware of this dynamic when I began my tenure as a youth group leader. Without fail, kids would constantly bring up their parents' work (and rarely in a good way). When this happened, the conversation didn't revolve around how it impacted the parent. Instead, it was about all the ripple effects impairing the family. The parent is always in a bad mood. The parents were stressed and fighting. A parent is always working and doesn't have time for their kids. So many deeply woven implications.

This post, however, was inspired by a different sort of conversation I recently had. I was talking to a seven-year-old. It was a silly, meandering conversation, as often happens with first-graders. Then, this little boy randomly dropped a different sort of comment as his smile vanished. "My mom is really stressed at work. I don't like seeing her like this all the time. I just wish she would get a new job."

I don't know this kid's parents. I've never met them. But the look on his face spoke volumes. A few more comments were solemnly shared about this situation, and then the conversation suddenly shifted back to fart jokes and superheroes.

Parents, our kids deserve better than this. We can try to hide our work reality from our children, but it leaks into every area of life. This makes sense. If we spend half our waking hours living somewhere between mere tolerance and absolute disgust, it inevitably shows through.

There's one other consequence. If 70% of us parents dislike or hate our job, and if it truly does leak into the other areas of life (which our kids see and feel), it creates a generational implication. We are raising our children to believe work is an inherently bad thing, a necessary evil. It's something we have to do, and it sucks. It's supposed to suck. I'm watching this dynamic play out in real-time with youth group kids, former youth group kids, and fellow parents. Our culture is completely polluted by the idea that work is bad. It's a shame.

This piece isn't my condemnation of parents. Rather, it's a rallying cry. Your kids deserve better. But first, you deserve better!

Elon Musk Today, Homeless Tomorrow

I had a great time catching up with an old friend yesterday. She had some questions about her new-ish business, and I was honored to spend some time with her. I was highly intrigued to hear about her journey of starting, growing, and evolving her young business. Regardless of what kind of business someone starts, I find that we business owners often experience similar situations.

Being a business owner can be brutal. So much weight is placed on their shoulders, there's very little security, and every time they think they have it figured out, the rules change. There's also something I like to call the "Elon Musk today, homeless tomorrow" phenomenon. Almost to a T, business owners connect with this idea. One day, we'll wake up and think we're going to take over the world like Elon Musk, and the next day, we'll wake up and wonder if we'll be homeless by sunset.

That sounds crazy, but if you're a business owner, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. That's how volatile it can be (or at least feel). Some months, we feel like we have everything figured out, and the next, we wonder if we'll have enough income to meet our financial needs. It can be the most stressful, frustrating, mind-melting thing in the world.....

.....and it's awesome! There's something beautiful about having to figure it out each day, week, and month. If we perform, we get to feed our family. If we don't, well, we don't. There's a purity in that. A simplicity. As a society, we like to look at business owners and judge them as "lucky," "rich," and "lazy." None of those are true, in most cases. Whenever someone tells me they want to become a business owner so they can "have more flexible hours and be home more," I chuckle. Most people have no idea what business owners go through.

That said, this isn't a request for sympathy. This is what business owners sign up for; it comes with the territory. It's part of the package. Nobody is holding a gun to their head, forcing them to take this path. It's a choice. A challenging, exciting, and terrifying choice. They could always go get a job....that option remains on the table. Therefore, I have no sympathy for fellow business owners. On the flip side, I have a ton of respect and admiration for them.

Elon Musk today, homeless tomorrow. If this phrase resonates with you, please know you aren't alone. Also, I encourage you not to wish away the stress, tension, and uncertainty. Yes, it can be brutal. But it's also what gives your journey richness. Plus, the highs aren't high if there aren't lows to contrast them. Embrace the journey.....all of the journey.

You probably won't be Elon Musk.....but you probably won't be homeless, either. Somewhere in between is a beautiful story just waiting to be written.

Never From a Coach’s Mouth

Today's post was inspired by a text exchange with my friend Ashley. It was regarding a trending news story about the Long Beach State men's basketball program. If you aren’t familiar, it's a doozy. Their 62-year-old head coach, Dan Monson, has been at the helm of their basketball program for the last 17 years. However, this was a tough season for the 49ers. They were predicted to finish near the top of the conference standings, but headed into the conference tournament ranked 5th (with a 5-game losing streak under the belt).

Wanting to do what's right, Coach Monson approached the athletic department ahead of the conference tournament and said he would resign if they didn't perform better in the tourney. No need, said the athletic director, as the decision to fire him had already been made. Ouch! His job was already dead, but he didn't know it yet. He entered the conference tournament as a lame-duck coach......and they won it all! their reward? A trip to the big dance. It's an amazing story, and we'll see what their next chapter looks like when his 15-seed team faces the 2-seed Arizona Wildcats later today.

While I couldn't love this story more, what Ashley said next is what got me worked up. She highlighted the fact you never hear a coach say, "Only x more years until I retire." So true! How many coaches can you count at or above the traditional retirement age? Tons! Many of us have played for a coach, at some level, who was well into his/her 70s. Older coaches are so common that the seasoned, grizzled veteran coach has been a TV and movie trope for decades.

I have a theory about why. No, it's not because they make boatloads of money (most don't, anyway). No, it's not because of the excellent benefits (many have little to no benefits). No, it's not because it's a simple and easy job (it's anything but!). Here's my theory. Coaches don't choose coaching for the money; they choose it for the meaning. Therefore, they aren't trying to race to the finish line. It's about the journey, not the destination. They wake up each day with a sense of purpose and anticipation for what's to come. When we live in this manner, our life is better WITH work than WITHOUT. It adds a richness to our life. Coaches know this!

While I'm not advocating we all quit our jobs and become coaches, I do think we could learn something by watching how coaches navigate their lives and careers. They are far from perfect, and they experience stress, turmoil, tension, and an often brutal schedule/lifestyle. But you'll rarely see a coach count down to the retirement finish line. If anything, you'll hear statements like, "I'll do it for as long as I can," or "I hope I can do this for at least x years." Passion, meaning, fulfillment, and impact.

Pay attention to this dynamic as you watch and enjoy the games in the coming days. Oh yeah, and go Cyclones!

Have To vs. Get To

I'm still thinking about the conversation I shared with the young woman I mentioned in yesterday's post. One of the things that struck me about her story is how much meaning and impact she's making in her work. She's a legit hero. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her work, yet at the same time, she admitted the utter frustration she feels when her income immediately goes toward debt payments.

See the tension there? Her work has so much meaning, yet her financial situation has changed her relationship with it. She's literally changing people's lives, but the income she's receiving from it is helping her barely hang on financially.

This is a tension I felt earlier in my career. Despite loving what I was doing, I woke up in the morning knowing I had to go to work. My job, and the paycheck it would provide, was my only lifeline to making my debt payments and living to fight another day. I was grateful for the job, but in some ways, it felt like I had nothing to show for all my hard work. That's a very helpless and defeating feeling. But there's a purpose behind it.

Then, something happened. When our $236,000 of debt was gone (4.5 long years later), I woke up feeling different. For some odd reason, my job got better. I felt more positive about it. I found excitement toward the work. I became better at what I did. Literally nothing about my job changed. I'm the one who changed. After a few weeks, I realized what it was. For all those years, I HAD TO go to work. Now, I GET TO go to work. It was a choice, and that choice changed everything!

Feeling like we have a figurative gun to our head is the worst feeling in the world. Even the best job will feel like garbage if we believe we don't have a choice. On the flip side, there's no better feeling than knowing we are going to work today solely because we want to. There's freedom in that. There's meaning in that.

My relationship with work forever changed that day. I promised myself that if one day I didn't want to go to that job anymore, I wouldn't. Little did I know, I'd have to follow through with that promise just seven years later when I left that career to begin what I do now. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but also the easiest (ironic, I know). I GET TO do what I do, and I never take that for granted. It doesn't mean it's easy (it's not). It doesn't mean it's always fun (it's not). But, boy, I can testify there's nothing more fulfilling or rewarding than waking up every day knowing I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.

I hope you wake up with the same feeling. If not, I invite you to find it. It's out there.....I promise.