The Best Is Yet to Come

You or someone you know is probably going through some scary times. So many people in my life are dealing with significant job shifts. Layoffs, reassignments, pay cuts, relocations, hour cuts, or benefit cuts. The economy is starting to feel weird, and ripple effects are cascading through people's careers and lives. Several clients have recently lost their jobs. Others have received pay cuts and/or hour cuts. A few have been reassigned or relocated. One of my friends just found out that he AND his wife lost their jobs.....in a 48-hour span! It feels messy out there! These are tough pills to swallow, and playing a role in this part of their journey is an honor. I never take that role lightly or for granted.

If there's one thing I want you to know, it's this. No matter what you're going through, the best is yet to come. No matter the situation, your peak is in the windshield, not the rearview mirror.

It makes me reflect on my gut-wrenching experience during the Great Financial Crisis. I thought I had life all figured out. I was young, hungry, and a little too arrogant. That all changed in 2008 when I casually walked into the office, only to be ushered into a conference room with all of my peers. There, it was communicated that our company was shutting down, and we'd all soon be out of jobs.....in the worst job market of our lifetime. I was devastated! Did I mention I had been engaged for just three days? Ouch! That was easily one of the worst weeks of my life.

Looking back, 16 years later, it's still one of the worst experiences of my life. However, that wasn't the end of the story. Amidst the pain, chaos, uncertainty, and struggle came many unforeseen blessings. Blessings that I never would have experienced had I not experienced that loss. There's a catch, though. It's nearly impossible to see these blessings while we're living it. Life is too intense, and our vision too narrow. Only after we've lived part of the journey do we get the privilege of seeing the beauty of the struggle.

My life is so much cooler today than back when I thought I had it all figured out. The last 10 years have been far better than anything I could have imagined before I hit my bottom on that terrible day in 2008. I would even argue my life isn't amazing despite the crushing blow.....it's because of it.

Your best is yet to come. Believe that. It won't make some of your life situations any easier now, but hold on to that hope. You need it, and you deserve it. You got this!

If someone in your life is struggling, please send this to them. I want to offer them an encouraging word today. I needed it when I was going through my turmoil, and I have a feeling they do, too.

Life is Short

In the span of 24 hours, I received news of three people passing away far too soon. They were in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. It was sad, and it hit a little too close to home. In the aftermath of these tragic developments, I was talking to a friend about it, and they shared a commonly-believed sentiment. I'll paraphrase: Each of these people worked their entire adult lives and died before they had a chance to actually enjoy life.

When we hear stories like this, a common takeaway is that it's proof we should hurry up and race toward retirement so we can milk a "life we actually enjoy" for as long as possible.

These types of stories impact me profoundly, but in the opposite way. It doesn't prove we should race faster to the retirement finish line. Rather, it's proof that we should live a life worth living.....today. Life is indeed short. I'm not trying to race to some finish line so that I can live my remaining years in relaxation. I'm trying to live each day, week, and month to the fullest. Not at some arbitrary point in my future, but today.

I've always had a morbid sense that I'm going to pass away too soon. I'm not sure where that thought comes from, and I'm not entirely sure if it's healthy or not. Regardless of its origin or implications, it has done one thing. It's reiterated the importance of living with meaning, generosity, and impact today. Not someday. Not when I meet certain markers or hit particular milestones. Today. This week. This month. This year.

I was on a cruise a few weeks ago. That was an awesome week.

I was out of state at a client's office last week. The days were long, and the nights were short. That was an awesome week.

I'm serving clients and attending board meetings this week. It's an awesome week.

I'll be creating a ton of content and hosting some difficult meetings next week. That will be an awesome week.

We have a mini spring break trip in a few weeks (plus March Madness). That will be an awesome week.

Life is short. Don't waste today in hopes of tomorrow. Don't destroy your working years in pursuit of an accelerated retirement. Don't disregard the blessings of hard work and struggle while glorifying a life of leisure. Life is short. Squeeze meaning from all of it.

First Things First

I receive a lot of criticism. From friends, strangers, and everyone in between. Some are constructive, and some aren't. I even have favorites. Here's one of my all-time favorites: "You can't feed your family with meaning." Nice and sharp!

I actually agree with this one. I once tried to pay the grocery store cashier with meaning.....they just called security. I kid, I kid. It's true, though. Meaning doesn't pay the bills. When people make this comment to criticize my work, they are 100% right. On the flip side, I also believe I'm 100% right in my insistence we should all try to pursue meaningful work. Both of these sentiments can be simultaneously true.

While I'll die on the hill supporting meaningful work, it's imperative that our basic needs are met. We need food, clothing, housing, and transportation. At the bare minimum, each of these fundamental boxes must be checked. In some situations, in some seasons, and in some scenarios, this will require us to temporarily push pause on the meaning, and focus on having enough money. Not because we're greedy or materialistic, but because we recognize the importance of personal accountability and the responsibility to provide the basic needs for our family. It's not sexy, or even fun, but it's important.

When someone struggles to keep the lights on and the landlord at bay, I don't advise them to aggressively pursue meaning. Instead, I work with them to immediately increase their income to meet critical needs. In some situations, cutting expenses can be helpful. However, in most of these scenarios, it's a deficiency of income problem. The resulting work might not be meaningful or fun, but closing the income gap is tremendously important….and there’s meaning in that act.

The bigger focus on meaning will come in due time, but first things first. We need to get our financial foundation under us. We must ensure we have enough stability to keep the proverbial train on the tracks. Then, once we do, we can shift our focus back to pursuing meaning. It can be a delicate dance, but we must dance. We can't focus solely on one or the other. If we focus exclusively on providing financially, we will sabotage ourselves of much meaning and fulfillment. However, if we focus only on the meaning, we may inadvertently sabotage our family's finances. Both of these are dangerous outcomes, which is why we must continually navigate the journey with intentionality.

First things first, but enjoy the dance!

The Release Valve in Practice

In yesterday's post, I explained how meaningful work is a release valve to so much time and financial pressure. Instead of hoarding money and sucking up miserable work in pursuit of an earlier-the-better retirement, I propose that we ought to consider the pursuit of meaningful work. When we do, we don't feel pressured to race to the finish line. This provides for a more meaningful life and less pressure to hoard assets to create the escape hatch. 

A few readers reached out to ask questions about this concept. I admit, it's counter-cultural. I'm honored people would take the time to consider these wild ideas. A few people asked if I could give an example of the release valve in practice. Here's a real-life situation someone recently approached me with. I'll use round-ish numbers to make it more digestible:

• Age: 30

• Current Investments: $100,000

• Desired Retirement Age: 50

• Desired Retirement Income: $100,000/year in today's dollars

• Job Status: He's currently in a high-paying job that he despises. It's sucking the life out of him. Zapped energy, he's a jerk to his wife, and he travels a LOT. However, it pays a lot of money......

• The Situation: He desires to save as much money as possible, as quickly as possible, so he "only" has to do this for 20 more years.....tops. His question to me was how much money he needs to invest (er, hoard) to make that goal a reality. 

Here's the math. For him to retire at age 50 with an annual retirement income equal to $100,000 in today's dollars (using 3% inflation, a 9% return, and the 4% rule for withdrawals), he needs to invest approximately $5,900/month between age 30 and 50. In other words, he'll continue working a job he absolutely hates (but "only" for 20 more years), sock away nearly $6,000/month, and have little income left to actually live a life. 

He oddly seemed excited about this. However, I threw out a few alternatives. First, I shared the numbers for a more traditional retirement at age 60. To get the same $100,000 retirement income (in today's dollars), he would need to invest $2,700/month between age 30 and 60. That's less than half! He hated this idea. To him, it means he has to put up with a miserable job for 30 years instead of 20. Or, as he put it, "I'll never survive that."

Then, I showed him the release valve. I showed him what an age 70 retirement could look like. I caveated one point, though. It's not 40 years of misery.......rather, 40 years of meaning. In this scenario, he would need to invest $1,100/month from age 30 to 70 to get the same $100,000 annual income (in today's dollars). For one-fifth of the monthly cost, he can live a meaningful life, pursue work that matters, and have the cash flow flexibility to travel and make memories with his small children.

The verdict? Option #1: "20 years doesn't sound so bad. It will go by fast." Sadly, I think he's right. It will most certainly go by in the blink of an eye. 

The Release Valve of Meaningful Work

In a recent talk, I commented about how I don't believe in retirement. I could see faces in the audience shift in real-time. When we got to my favorite part of the talk, the Q&A, someone asked a question that delighted me. "Don't you ever want to actually enjoy your life?" This was a sharp and direct question. I could see many in the audience get uncomfortable, anticipating a potentially awkward exchange. Here's a paraphrasing of my answer:

• I'm enjoying my life today more than ever…..while working harder than I've ever worked. 

• Work should add value to our lives, not impair it. 

• If I ever get to the point where my work becomes a negative, it's time to find new work. 

• "Enjoying" life doesn't directly correlate to a life of leisure. They aren't one and the same.

• Speaking of leisure, it's important to periodically take time to rest, travel, and adventure. This should happen during our career, not held back until after it.

Here's the typical work-to-retirement path:

1. Find work that pays as much as possible (disregarding what fulfillment it could/should provide).

2. Hoard as much money as possible along the way.

3. Reach a certain level of hoarding success as quickly as possible (60 is better than 65, 55 is better than 60, 50 is better than 55, …….).

4. Quit work and finally try to enjoy life.

This path incentivizes us to cut back on spending as much as possible (so we can aggressively invest), while we endure a job we dislike or hate, so we can get out ASAP. In other words, live with a certain level of career and financial misery for as short a window as necessary.

Here's something to think about. Meaningful work is a release valve from misery. Instead of following the path above, here's an alternative strategy:

1. Always pursue meaningful work (even if it pays less).

2. Invest consistently over a long period of time. Since you have a longer investing window and compound, you can invest less along the way and dedicate those extra resources toward more fulfilling endeavors (giving, traveling, making memories, etc.).

3. Give yourself the freedom to downshift/upshift your career as life evolves, always ensuring it adds value to your life.

4. If/When your health/energy deteriorates, be financially prepared to care for yourself. 

In the first scenario, we spend much of our adult life in some form of dissatisfaction (ranging somewhere between tolerance and misery), hoard resources instead of putting them to better use, and hope that one day, living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. In the second scenario, we find and sustain a meaningful life with far less time and financial pressure on ourselves.

Do I ever want to actually enjoy my life? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I want to enjoy it today, tomorrow, and down the road. I deeply desire that and have committed my life to the continual pursuit of meaning and impact. I desire that for you, too. 

Finding Fulfillment in an Unfulfilling Job

I often think and talk about a staggering statistic from a Gallup survey. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. Think about that! If you put 10,000 people in a stadium, the odds are that 7,000 of them despise or merely tolerate their job. It's easy to dismiss that as not a big deal, but that's where we spend half our waking hours. That's sad!

My first advice for people who feel disengaged in their jobs is to find something different. I truly believe this. I think most people in the 70% camp could significantly improve their lives simply by changing jobs. There are many reasons why people feel this way, but in many cases, a change is needed. 

However, I'd like to take a different approach to this dilemma today. Many drivers of our dissatisfaction are external. A crappy boss, a toxic culture, a lack of impact, tasks that don't align with our skillset, a rough work environment, hours/shifts that drain you.....the list goes on. These are all valid reasons for job dissatisfaction. 

On the flip side, there are internal drivers causing us misery in our job. Or more accurately, there are internal drivers that prevent us from finding meaning in our work. Let's face it, some jobs just suck. I once worked in a cheese factory (*not a Cheesecake Factory). That job sucked. I also worked for the U.S. Census Bureau for the 2000 census. That job sucked even more (which will happen when multiple people pull guns on you). We've all had crappy jobs, and some of you are in one today. It's easy to just see these jobs as utterly terrible, but when we do, we sell ourselves short.

Regardless of where you're at or what you're doing, I think we all have the power to find fulfillment in a bad job. Our perspectives move the needle for us. If we believe everything is terrible, it is. If we believe there's good in something, there is. With that context, I'll share a few simple ways we can create fulfillment in an unfulfilling job:

• We use our time (and resulting income) to help propel ourselves to where we really want to be. It gives a dead-end situation a purpose.

• We embrace our relationships on the job. Even in the worst jobs, some of those relationships can be blessings.

• We focus on the impact we're making. Sure, the work might suck, but we still have an opportunity to serve others and make a difference. That matters!

• We use it as an opportunity to gain more experience, skills, and momentum.

• We get to use the income from the job to care for our family and move the financial needle in our lives. Our hard work is not in vain!

Yes, I think you should leave a job you tolerate or hate. I'll die on that hill. In the meantime, finding fulfillment in an otherwise unfulfilling situation is possible. Don't let the meaning slip away.

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

I've had quite the run in the last two days. In a matter of 48 hours, here's who I had the privilege of spending time with:

• A former police officer who now dedicates his life to helping other officers and first responders who are dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.

• A few high school teachers who have a passion for teaching their students about work, business, and professionalism. Their mission is to raise up the next generation of leaders by giving them the tools to enter the workforce with the skills, confidence, and momentum. 

• A pastor who has dedicated his life to serving others. His Sundays are spent preaching, but the other six days of the week are spent leading his team and counseling people who are hurting. 

• A business owner who started his company out of frustration from watching people get taken advantage of and ripped off. 

• A missionary with a heart to provide free medical care to people who may not have access to doctors or the necessary technology.

• A single mom who is raising four small children while also working a full-time career to pay the bills.

In other words, I met with a hero, a hero, a hero, a hero, a hero, and another hero. None of them wore capes. There were no masks. I couldn't tell, but I didn't see any utility belts being sported. They were all disguised as normal people just trying to do their jobs. 

Heroes are all around us, but not even the heroes know they are heroes. That's actually what makes them heroes. They aren't trying to get notoriety, praise, or compliments. And they certainly aren't trying to get rich. They are just using their gifts and passions to serve others with excellence, day in and day out. 

Maybe you're a hero and don't even know it. I hope you are, and I thank you for your service. You probably don't get enough credit for your heroism, so please consider this my formal "thank you" to start your day. I hope I'm not the only one who gives you the credit you deserve. 

Not all heroes wear capes. Please don't forget that today.

Here to Serve

Inspiration comes from the darndest places. As I was sitting here contemplating what to share today, I received a text from my often-discussed corporate client in Texas. As usual, they have interesting developments brewing and like to bounce scenarios and questions off me for my input. Some of their questions require quick and simple answers, while others require many hours of detailed contemplation and analysis. This request was of the quick and simple variety.

I told them to respond with any follow-up questions they might have, as I'm just preparing today's blog and can help however needed. One of the gentlemen jokingly responded that I should "write about people who constantly ask you to do things that you have given them the tools to do themselves and how annoying that is."

That's precisely what I will do, but I will pull a 180 on him. There is nothing annoying about this exchange whatsoever. In fact, it's a privilege and an honor. The fact my insights and expertise are desired and valued is something I never take for granted. Further, the opportunity to add value to their decision-making and overall business is a tremendous blessing. No part of me is even remotely annoyed by this. I should be sending him a thank you card for allowing me the opportunity and blessing to serve him. I'm beyond grateful.

We are here to serve. Simply put, this is the base calling in our life. We can, of course, choose to ignore it, refuse it, or turn our back on it. From the moment we wake up until we go back to bed, our day is a never-ending string of serving opportunities. Our spouse, kids, co-workers, clients, customers, neighbors, and even strangers. Nearly every interaction in our life is an opportunity (or, dare I say, duty?) to serve others.

Think about the people in your life you're attracted to. No, not that kind of attraction. The kind of attracted that you want to be in their presence. The kind that makes you want to spend time with them. The kind that makes you want to be more like them. Chances are this person is a servant. Chances are one of the primary attributes that make you (and probably others) attracted to them is their willingness and heart to serve others.

I could most certainly wake up each day with the objective of getting what I want for myself. That option is on the table. In fact, I know a lot of people who live this way. This is just one man's opinion, but that feels like an empty-calorie type of life. It might taste good for a bit, but it's anything but satiating.

The posture of service, on the other hand, is an immensely fulfilling way to live. We might not always get what we want by continually serving others, but we actually get something better: meaning, impact, and purpose. That's the irony of service. We get fed by feeding others.

“You’re Being Stupid”

While writing yesterday's post, I found myself reflecting on my current life vs. my previous life. Specifically, I remember one critical conversation with a close, trusted friend as I was on the verge of making the transition. "You're being stupid." Well, that wasn't the exact quote. The exact quote included an f-bomb in the middle......for emphasis, of course! Let's just say this friend thought I was making a life-altering mistake. I don't blame him, though. Taking a 90% pay cut to start your career over while trying to make ends meet may, in fact, qualify as "stupid." 

I wouldn't trade my current life for all the money in the world. The funny thing is, though, my life doesn't look anything like I drew it up on the playbook:

• I have a bunch of awesome coaching clients (that was the only part I knew I would do).

• People pay me to speak at their events (still weird to me!).

• I have the honor of sharing the Meaning Over Money message on podcasts and in my writing (one of the greatest honors of my life).

• I get the surprise privilege of partially owning and jointly operating a coffee company (that wasn't on my bucket list bingo card).

• I have a wonderful corporate client in Texas that I enjoy immensely.

• Though all these things take up a ton of time, I have a lot of flexibility to parent my boys and invest in them. 

In other words, I'm blessed beyond belief. It's easy to look back now and say my decision was the right thing to do. However, there were many times when it felt like the scariest thing in the world. Never mind all the people in my life who told me how terrible a decision I was making. "You're being a bad husband and father" was another fun comment made to me by a trusted friend. Ouch!

People's opinions matter. Their wisdom is valuable. We should seek out the insight of those we trust. Yes, all of those things. But ultimately, we need to make the best decision for our family......even if it's the opposite of what culture says is right. If I was feeling a bit more rowdy, I may even suggest, "especially if it's the opposite of what culture says is right." 

If you want what everyone else has, do what they do. If you want the opposite of what everyone else has, do the opposite. Ultimately, it comes down to values.....your values. 

I recently had a drink with my friend who told me I was stupid for leaving my career. We had a great time. Lots of reminiscing and lots of laughs. In the middle of the chat, he added, "You did the right thing." I'm not sure I needed that from him, but I think I needed that from him. Thanks, my man!

Follow meaning, even if it's hard. No, strike that. Especially if it's hard. 

I Miss This

Last night, I enjoyed a fun and relaxing dinner with my client. There were seven of us, and it was just a flat-out enjoyable experience. When these moments happen, my first thought is always, "I miss this." While I'm not technically an employee, it feels like I am. These people mean something to me. I enjoy my time with them. It's fun working together to achieve a shared goal. Of all the things I lost when I left my prior career, this is the one I miss the most. I miss the camaraderie. I still get some of this in my new work life, but it's different. 

In my keynote, I venture into the behavioral science of money and happiness. In short, once our needs are met, money WON'T make us much happier. That's been proven again and again. However, there are three things that clearly drive happiness:

• Generosity

• Work that matters

• Relationships

If that's true, it's no surprise why I feel the way I do about spending time with these people. Relationships are like oxygen. I think people grossly underappreciate the importance of relationships in the workplace. Some people even advise against having relationships with co-workers. I've heard it referred to as the separation of work and life. I couldn't disagree more. We shouldn't separate work and life…..we should integrate it. Work is part of life. After all, our work accounts for literally half our waking hours. 

I believe work relationships are the secret sauce. In the absence of these meaningful relationships, nothing is holding us to a job. Without relationships, there's no reason we wouldn't leave for even a $500/year raise. Without relationships, we become a free agent looking for the highest bidder. 

One last thought. Whenever I ask someone what they like most about their job (whether they love it or hate it), the first answer given almost always revolves around relationships. Is that telling? Conversely, whenever I ask someone what they dislike most about their job (whether they love it or hate it), the first answer given almost always revolves around relationships. Is that telling?

Here's my takeaway today. Don't take your work relationships for granted. They can and should add a richness to your life. We are better people because of them. Don't miss out on that opportunity. 

“Am I Excited to Go Home?”

Last night, I was blessed with a chance airplane encounter with my awesome friends, Brett and Tracy (and family). They are on their way to a wonderful-sounding vacation at a tropical destination. That sounds pretty nice when contrasted with the weather we're about to experience here in the Midwest. While waiting for the plane to take off, I texted Tracy, jokingly asking her to give me some ideas for blog content she could enjoy at the pool each morning. She didn't take the bait……perhaps she doesn't want to spend her vacation absorbing random ideas from my brain. Today's post is written with her vacation in mind, though!

Vacations are an excellent barometer for life. Not the vacation itself, but rather one key question we should ask ourselves while we're in the midst of a beautiful trip. "Am I excited to go home?" If we're vacationing well, we should be creating lifelong memories, making bad (or shall I say good?) food choices, relaxing, and carving out new adventures. But at some point, it comes to an end. And when it does, we'll soon transition back to our normal day-to-day life. When that happens, what goes through your mind? Is it dread? Fear? Tolerance? Ambivalence? Anxiety? Stress? Pessimism? Or on the other side of the coin, is it excitement? Hope? Passion? Encouraged? Optimism? 

The answer can and should be telling. Let's say your answer to the question is positive. You're looking forward to going home and resuming life. If that's the case, congrats! You're winning! I don't even care what your life looks like, what you do for a living, how much money you have, or your status. If you look forward to going home and living your life, you've already won! Millions of people would be jealous of your life. 

If your answer to the question leans negative, it's time to look in the mirror. If we need to escape our life in order to get through our life, it's a sign that something needs to change. Yes, vacations should be amazing……but vacations aren't life. They are what we do when we temporarily pause life. And the consequence of pausing is that we eventually need to unpause. When we do, our life is still our life, and we are still us. That's the problem with vacations. They don't actually change anything. We can leave our life, but we can't escape it. Ultimately, we must live in the reality we've created for ourselves. 

If you have a negative answer, I have a few follow-up questions for you:

• What part(s) of your life triggers a negative response? Work? Family? Marriage? Finances? Friends? Other?

• What alternative reality would make you shift your answer from negative to positive?

• What changes can you immediately make to begin this shift?

Next time you're on a fun vacation, try this exercise. But warning: Once you look in the mirror and see the truth, you just may have to take action. And you'll be grateful you did!

Cultural Narratives: College Edition

In yesterday's post, I discussed the importance of seeing through false cultural narratives. I framed the post through the lens of common misunderstandings around the stock market. However, I listed a handful of other cultural narratives wreaking havoc on our society. One raised more than a few eyebrows: "It's impossible to attend college without student loans."

Oh, this is a good one! And by good, I mean toxic and destructive. In my work, student loan debt is one of the top factors ripping people's lives apart. It's not uncommon to see $40,000-$100,000 of student loan debt......per person! I have a lot of empathy for people in these situations, for a few reasons:

• Student loans are the only debt that's non-bankruptable. The only way out is to die. That doesn't feel like "good" debt to me. 

• Student loans are torching people's ability to live a meaningful life. Instead of pursuing work that matters, people must pursue work that pays the inflated bills.

• It's not their fault! It's easy to blame people for their student loan debt, but they were only 17 or 18 when these decisions were made. They likely didn't understand the future consequences and implications. In most cases, the blame primarily lies on the parents. Parents don't trust their teens to stay at home alone for the weekend, but the very next day, they trust their kids to freely make a life-altering decision that will implode their financial life for decades.

Kids deserve better. My kids deserve better, and your kids deserve better! Luckily, better is available. Yes, college is expensive. There's no way around that. The cultural narrative is that the only way to go to college is via student loans. It's a lie! I'll explain why. First, it's essential to break things down so we can look at them from a different perspective. 

In-state public universities in my state cost approximately $24,000/year. Some states are more, and some are less. I'm using public, in-state as my example, as it's a common and accessible option. We can make other choices, such as community college, trade school, out-of-state universities, and private colleges, but all choices have consequences (good and bad). 

That's a lot of money, for sure. But we aren't going to pay $24,000/year. Most schools have an array of in-house scholarships to offer. In my state, most students will end up paying +/- 80% of sticker price, or $19,200ish. 

That's still a lot of money. Let's break it down further. This equates to $1,600/month over 12 months. Ok, now we're getting somewhere. That's a lot, but attainable. Once we know this number, we have an array of options to pay for it:

• Savings

• College fund

• Parents' monthly budget

• Student work

• Other scholarships

• And several other options. 

We don't need them all.....we just need some combination of them to total $1,600/month. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's 100% attainable for most families. And countless kids/families are doing it!

Methodically and intentionally piece together $1,600/month, or suffer for decades? The narrative pushes us to the latter, but we have the power to change the narrative.

Fear is a Thief

Fear is a thief. It sneaks in when we're not looking, attacks us from the inside out, and robs us of opportunity.

18 months ago, my family took a trip to Mall of America, in part, to hang out at their indoor amusement park. It was a wonderful time. We went on a ton of rides, enjoyed too much food, and made awesome memories. The kids were oddly brave, though. Finn was game for any ride he could access, and Pax only made a few exceptions. We made a return trip there this weekend. Given how amazing the first experience was with a couple five-and-a-half-year-olds, I assumed it would be even better with 7-year-olds. Boy, I was wrong! Finn was a bit more hesitant, but Pax had zero desire to try any decent ride. Fear had taken hold of him, and it all but crippled his ability to enjoy the park. It was so frustrating! Fear robbed him of his fun weekend of rides.

About an hour before leaving for home, Pax decided to give the main rollercoaster a shot…….and he loved it! He wanted to go again and again, but time had simply run out. It was too late. He was proud that he overcame the fear, but was frustrated about the trip being over. Without even knowing it, fear snuck into him and got him all twisted up. This happens to us, too. Most of us are struck by fear most days. What we do with it, however, is what matters. If we let the fear take over, it wins. We'll cower, stop in our tracks, and/or retreat. If we refuse to let fear win, it doesn't mean the fear will necessarily go away. Instead, we persevere through the fear, doing what must be done. I once heard someone define courage like this: "Courage isn't the lack of fear, but action in the face of fear." We have two choices: let the fear win, or keep moving forward.

In a country with unprecedented freedoms where 70% of people dislike or hate their jobs, it can be a real head-scratcher. Whenever I spend time with someone who hates their job, I ask lots of questions. "What makes you stay at a job you hate?" That's my favorite. This question gets to the heart of what's really going on. There's always a reason, but is it a rational reason? Is it a fixable reason? Is it a conscious reason? You know what the #1 reason people give me is? Fear. Fear of change. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown.

Fear will rob us of what matters most……if we let us. I can't even begin to describe the amount of fear I felt at the prospect of leaving my career and taking a 90% pay cut when I had two 3-year-olds and a wife who stayed home. It almost crippled me…..almost. It's still scary (Every. Single. Day.), but so worth it!

Don't let fear steal your calling.

The Next Peak, Not THE Peak

Last night, I had a fun exchange with Meaning Over Money co-founder, Cole Netten. Since we rarely see each other anymore, most of our conversations happen on the phone after our kids go to bed (utterly exhausted, I might add). As we discuss upcoming content and the recording/editing schedule, he mentions he's heading to KC in the morning.

Intrigued, I asked him to share more about the trip. He explains he's shooting the MNF post-game press conference for ESPN. What?!?! He'll be chilling with Patrick Maholmes, Andy Reid, and countless other Chiefs players in the press room! If that's not cool enough, he said he has a second job earlier in the evening. "Taylor Swift Duty." Progressively more intrigued, I asked him to clarify. His job is to camp inside the stadium and get a shot of her when she enters. It sounds like she might not be in attendance, so that piece may not materialize. What a cool and unique opportunity, though!

He capped off this portion of the conversation by saying, "This might be the peak." I couldn't disagree more with him, and I immediately said that. He just turned 30 last week, he's still honing his craft, and his experience/relationships are just now taking shape. He's not anywhere close to his peak. This might be a peak, but it's not THE peak. In fact, I'd argue this most recent peak is closer to his floor than it is to his eventual peak (which likely won't be attained for a few more decades).

In some ways, it reminds me of the stock market. It's easy to look at a chart and think to ourselves, "Wow, it's really high! This feels like the peak." That may be true, but it's not THE peak. It's just the next peak. The image below is a great example of that concept. In 2007, the US stock market was at an all-time 140-year high. It felt like the peak as it was happening. It was, indeed, a peak. But it wasn't THE peak. It was just the next peak. Fast forward 16 years from that bougie-feeling all-time high, and we're now approximately 3x higher!

This is Cole's career! He hasn't even sniffed his potential yet. He's shooting for ESPN at Arrowhead Stadium, capturing clips of one of the best football players to ever live, standing watch to get a shot of one of the greatest musical performers to ever live, and he hasn't even scratched the surface of his potential. This isn't the end. This is the beginning. He's 30 years old. He still has 40-50 good years left in his epic career.

The same goes for you! I hope you're crushing it. I hope you're hitting new peaks. I hope every step is a step worth celebrating. But just remember. It's not THE peak. It just the next peak. Your best is yet to come! Hold on and enjoy the ride.....it's going to be fun!

Kyle Has the Secret

I have a friend named Kyle. I don't see Kyle all that much, but we go on a boat ride together once every summer. He's the kind of guy you can't not like. He's generous, gracious, and just a lot of fun to talk to. He's the kind of guy who has a working knowledge of far more topics than any one person should have. Anyway, I was thinking about my most recent boat ride with Kyle.

Kyle is at the age where retirement is at the forefront. Society tells him he should retire. His age tells him he should retire. His peers probably tell him he should retire. His bank account also likely tells him he should retire. He's had a lengthy and successful career. By all accounts, he should be retiring.....but he's not. Instead of pursuing a life of leisure, he continues to wake up each morning and head to the office. Counter-cultural, I know.

So, as we're cruising into the sunset on his boat, I asked him about the retirement elephant in the room. He gave me the most beautiful answer. I won't quote him, as I don't remember his exact words, so I'll paraphrase. In short, Kyle told me that his life is better because of his work. Not because of the money that comes from the work, but because of the actual work itself. He said he could easily retire, financially speaking, but he doesn't want to. His work is too valuable to him. His newfound passion was investing his time, energy, experience, and wisdom into the younger generation. His eyes light up when he talks about the young professionals developing their careers. He speaks of the fulfillment he gets pouring into them and helping them grow.

Imagine a world where your life would be worse off if you didn't have your work. That sounds like a perverted Twilight Zone episode in today's culture. It's so far-fetched that most people wouldn't believe you if you told them.

We live in a society filled with jealousy. Jealousy over houses, cars, celebrity, status, power, partners.....and the list goes on. If you really want something to be jealous of, you should be jealous of Kyle. He's unlocked something truly special. He's living a significantly meaningful life. I have good news, though! What Kyle has isn't reserved for the fortunate few. It's an opportunity we each have in front of us.....if we're willing to pursue it.

Sometimes, it's easy. Other times, it's one of the hardest things we'll do. But in either case, it's worth it. I can't speak to how easy or hard it was for Kyle to find it, but I know he doesn't take it for granted. He knows what he found, and he embraces it as he should. For this reason, I deeply admire Kyle and pray I can navigate my journey to be where he is when I'm his age.

Work that matters. Always work that matters.

Knowing When to Say “No”

If you're someone with variable income (wage, commission, bonuses, solopreneur, freelancer, or business owner), there's an obvious upside. When you work more or produce more, you make more. Work more hours, get a larger paycheck. Sell more widgets, get a better commission/bonus. Serve another client, get another revenue stream. There's a direct correlation between your work and your compensation.

There's a shadow side to this, of course. It can be extremely difficult to say "no." If we have the potential to make a sell, we're inclined to do it. If we have the opportunity to grab some overtime hours, we're inclined to do it. If we have the opportunity to take on a new project, we're inclined to do it. While each of these scenarios means we'll likely make more money, there's a very real cost to it. It can cost us our time, stress, energy, physical/mental health, and opportunities to be with our loved ones. But it’s so hard to say “no”!

All these factors combine for one difficult journey. This is the battle millions of people face each day. And to be honest, many of us are losing the battle. This has been an ongoing conversation between Cole and me in our office for several years. We're both freelancers with wives who stay at home. Translation: there's a constant underlying pressure to provide financially. At the same time, we feel the responsibility to be present for our families and play other critical roles inside and outside our homes.

Last night, we went trick-or-treating with Cole's family. We had a great time despite the weather feeling like we were in the dead of winter. As we were walking from house to house, Cole revealed that he said "no" to a highly lucrative shooting gig for earlier that day. It was a hefty sum of cash for a single day's work. It's also worth noting that Cole loves that work. However, he said "no." He wanted to prioritize spending time with his family in preparation for their Halloween celebrations.

In years past, I'm not sure he would have declined such a gig. For this reason, I really admired his decision. This is a consequence of excellence. The better you serve people, the more people want to be served.....and are willing to pay more for the privilege. It's a constant battle, but a good battle.

Each of us must make our own choices along the journey. Saying "yes" is important. It's how we financially provide for our families, as well as add value to others. It's using our gifts and time to make a difference in this world. Saying "yes" is a noble endeavor. However, are we willing to say "no" when needed? Are we able to create boundaries to protect what's most important? Are we able to walk away from money when other things are more important?

This is the tension between meaning and money. It's a delicate dance, but I hope you win more times than you lose. Never forget the meaning. Always meaning over money.

Finding Purpose in Crappy Work

After giving a talk yesterday, one of the young men in the audience asked a fantastic question. He asked how one would pursue work that matters if they didn't have the financial means to take care of themselves while trying to pursue it.

I have two answers for this. First, pursuing work that matters typically doesn't require us to be poor. It requires that we're honest with ourselves about what meaningful work might look like.....then pursue it. The goal shouldn't be more money, but rather enough money. That's where people unintentionally hold themselves back. Several of my friends are on the edge of leaving their jobs to go full-time in their dreams. However, one thing is holding them back. They want to make "as much" in their new job as they do in their current job before transitioning. This is the consequence of anchoring. They are anchoring expectations to a specific number....an arbitrarily high number. Instead, they should be targeting enough. Enough to pay the bills. Enough to keep the train on the tracks. Enough to keep building their dream.

Sometimes, though, we have a dream that, for whatever reason, doesn't pay the bills right away. Maybe it's nothing.....until it's everything. Maybe there's a building process that requires us to start at zero. We aren't able to make the jump just yet. How do we survive the "nothing" stage? This is where crappy work can come into play. It's work that doesn't necessarily provide us with meaning. We don't wake up every day excited for what we're about to do. It just kinda sucks....but it pays the bills.

This can be the beauty of crappy work. Many of us have had or are in crappy jobs. You know exactly what I'm talking about! Without purpose or a plan, these jobs will suck the life out of us. Day in and day out, we put our time into a job that doesn't fill our tank. However, one tweak has the power to change everything. If we know what we're striving for, and have a plan, this crappy work can become the fuel to make it happen. If the income derived from this less-than-satisfying job can be put towards the dream, this crappy job suddenly feels a lot less crappy. We're building toward something.

I remember my first taste of this concept back in high school. I was getting up at 4AM on Sundays for an 8-hour shift at a cheese factory. It was anything but enjoyable. However, the income I made at that job served a bigger purpose at the time. I remember having very specific plans, which gave purpose to an otherwise purposeless high school job.

Some of you are there right now. You might be in a crappy job, but at the same time, know where you ultimately want to be. I want you to get there. But in the meantime, that crappy job may be the world's biggest blessing. Harness that for good! You deserve it.

The Sunday Scaries

Happy Sunday! Depending on what time of day you're reading this, your mood could be vastly different. Studies show that 4PM on Sunday is the most depressing hour of the week. The fun weekend is almost complete, and now our brain is shifting its attention to tomorrow. And considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job, the mere thought of Monday makes most people cringe. Some refer to it as the Sunday Scaries.

Whether we know about the 4PM on Sunday statistic or not, we know about the Sunday Scaries. It's all around us. We either feel it, know someone close to us who feels it, or see it manifest in our culture. The concept that Monday sucks is ubiquitous in our society. It leaks out through our cultural pores. Movies, music, TV, social media. Dread and Mondays go together like peanut butter and jelly. I often think about the song, Migraine, by Twenty One Pilots. Check out this verse:

Thank God it's Friday, 'cause Fridays will always

be better than Sundays, 'cause Sundays are my suicide days.

I don't know why they always seem so dismal.

Thunderstorms, clouds, snow, and a slight drizzle.

The Sunday Scaries stick with us, too. I was talking to a friend last night when she made a specific reference to her Sunday Scaries. Hers are not caused by what she will do on Monday, but rather what she used to do on Mondays decades ago. That's right. She used to dread Mondays so much that it's tainted the mere idea of Mondays decades later. That's how engrained the Sunday Scaries can be.....almost like it gets into our blood.

Here's the good news. We CAN reverse this curse. If 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job, that means 30% like or love their job. And if they do, so can you! I hope you get to a point in life where Monday is your favorite day of the week. A life where weekends are fun, but Mondays are full of promise, meaning, and impact. That reality does exist. I promise you that.

However, there's a catch. There's always a catch. In order to attain it, we typically must stop pursuing more. More money, more stuff, and more status. It doesn't mean we'll be poor or have little; rather, it means we're chasing after something different....something better. Work that matters.

I have a memory seared into my brain. I was having a beer with a friend one Sunday afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and we were enjoying a cold drink on a patio. All the while, he looked miserable. His eyes looked tired, borderline lifeless. He was suffering from the Sunday Scaries. I asked him point blank if all his stuff and bank accounts were worth it. He half-heartedly nodded his head yes, but he looked unsure. Fast forward many years, and he still has that same look in his eyes.

Sunday Scaries are a choice. I choose a life without them. How about you?

It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense

I love, love, love when people make decisions that fly in the face of our prevailing culture. Decisions that make people scratch their heads. Decisions that cause our loved ones to question our sanity. Decisions that lead others to talk behind our backs.

One of my friends recently made such a decision. As he was living out the final years of his career, he decided to make a drastic shift. He was perched at the helm of a fairly prestigious position at a notable institution, presumably set to coast out the remaining few years of his career in comfort before riding off into the sunset.

Today, he's settling into a new career at a new organization. Instead of coasting in comfort, he's diving head-first into discomfort. He could have taken an easy path toward the finish line, but he's choosing the road less traveled. This was a significantly counter-cultural decision, which was not lost on him as he contemplated his next steps.

Does he regret it? Did he make a mistake? Did it blow up in his face? I recently had the opportunity to ask him about it. He couldn't be happier! He's challenged in entirely new ways and, in a sense, starting over. This is the irony of pursuing meaning. In one hand, there is comfort, ease, and security. In the other hand, there is discomfort, challenge, risk, and stress.......oh yeah, and meaning! Meaning rarely comes with the prior, and almost always comes with the latter.

I hope I have his courage when I reach that point in my career. The world says to coast to the finish line (as quickly as possible). My friend said, "Nah, I prefer meaning." Well, he probably didn't actually say that, but in my mind, that's what he said.

I can't wait to see how the next chapter in his story is written! It doesn’t have to make sense. The best stories rarely do.

It’s About More Than the Product

Though I'm firmly cemented in the dot com generation (and live fully into all of the stereotypes), there's nothing better to me than a good old-fashioned newspaper. Sitting down with a paper and a coffee is my definition of relaxation. After a two-year hiatus, I recently decided to subscribe to a print newspaper. In my opinion, the Wall Street Journal is the most well-rounded, unbiased publication on the market. Therefore, that was my paper of choice.

The first day of delivery was glorious! Unlike the last time I subscribed, it showed up right at my doorstep (instead of me having to play Where's Waldo around a 3-house radius). I had my paper. I had my coffee. I had my relaxation. I was one happy man.....for a few days.

Then, something happened. I quickly realized the paper was getting delivered at 8:30 or 9:00 AM, significantly later than desired. Not only did I not get to read it while relaxing before work, but I didn't even have the opportunity to take it with me. To make matters worse, the weekend edition gets delivered one day late. I wake up on Saturday morning to enjoy my weekend reading, only to realize there is none. I'm already at church by the time they deliver it on Sunday. Therefore, I don't even see the weekend edition until Sunday afternoon.

Ok, rant over. Sorry, didn't mean to cry a river there. Here's where I'm going with this. The Wall Street Journal is a wonderful paper. I very much enjoy the Wall Street Journal. It's worth every penny I pay for it. HOWEVER, it's about more than the product. Even if the product is amazing (like the WSJ), the other aspects of the relationship matter just as much. Despite having a significantly superior product (my opinion) at a reasonable price (also my opinion), it's simply not worth it if they don't deliver it promptly.

It makes me think about Apple. I love Apple products. While Apple makes some of the best products in the world, it's about more than the product. From the unique layout and structure their retail stores, to the streamlined user-interface experience, to the unparalleled customer service. Did I mention the packaging?!?! Have you ever unboxed an Apple product? That experience alone is amazing. Apple understands it's about more than the product. Apple understands you need a world-class product AND excellence in all the other areas around it.

I think about this idea a lot. While we're trying to be excellent, work hard, and make an impact, what are we missing? Do we deliver good work but show up late every day? Are we good to work with but terrible to work for? Do we get our work done quickly, but it's full of errors? Do we make stellar choices on our big financial decisions but squander it away on all the little ones? Do we have a glaring blind spot amidst otherwise excellent work?

Something to think about today.