In the Zone

Today's post is a weird topic, but since it's my blog, I suppose I get to do that. I've recently been thinking about the idea of being "in the zone." It's a common concept in sports. It makes me think back to Michael Jordan and some of his dominating performances over his illustrious career. Though mine weren't as infamous as his, I vividly remember being in the zone a time or two in my basketball career. Notably, a 47-point game in a JV tournament when I was a freshman in high school. It was like a switch inside me flipped, and everything around me was in slow motion. It was still me, but it was a different version. Nearly 30 years later, I still remember those feelings like it was yesterday.

Last week, I was in a meeting with a friend. This guy is a very mild-mannered man. Soft-spoken, humble, and methodical with his approach. But something happened to him during this meeting. A switch flipped, and he became a similar but different person. He was in the zone. My jaw dropped. It was stunning to watch. In those moments, he was his very best self.

As 90s kid, I still love music videos. I often watch music videos at night before bed, especially from my favorite group, Twenty One Pilots. Recently, one particular live performance video has resonated with me. For context, these two guys are very soft-spoken. They interact with a playfulness and innocence. But something happens when they get on that stage. A switch flips, and they become a different version of themselves. I don't think it's an act, but rather something deep within them that gets turned on when the time is right. They are overcome with the moment and their work. I recommend you check out the video. It perfectly represents what I’m talking about!

My speaking career has been influenced by a lot of people, but none more than Twenty One Pilots's lead singer, Tyler Joseph. Watching him turn it on when he hits the stage has given me a blueprint of how I, too, can flip that switch when it's go-time. I think about this often, including the moments immediately before I step onto the stage. It's a way to get in the zone when the moment calls for it. There's no better feeling for me. It's raging nerves for 30-60 minutes, then a still peace in the minutes leading up to it, then it explodes into what is hopefully a powerful and impactful talk.

Are there moments in your life where you get into the zone? I'd love to hear about them. Mine are the absolute best, most impactful bursts of work for me, so I'm dying to hear what this concept looks like for you. Though much of our work can be mundane and uneventful, I hope you have these profound moments throughout your journey that remind you of what your best self looks like.

Weird post, but I dig it!

Imposter Syndrome and the Death of Dreams

Imposter Syndrome: “when one believes that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.”

As I opened my e-mail a few weeks ago, I was met with a congratulatory e-mail communicating my selection to be a speaker at a large conference. There must be some mistake! I’m not that guy. Nobody at this conference has any interest in what I have to say. They are literally going to stand up, turn around, and walk out of the auditorium. How did I con them into letting me onto their stage? They are going to regret this decision. Who do I think I am having the audacity to even pitch an event like this!?!?

Yeah, I was having a moment. To be honest, though, I have lots of these moments. Imposter syndrome can be brutal. Every day I hit “publish” on this blog, I have imposter syndrome. Every time I fire up the mic to record a podcast episode, I have imposter syndrome. Every time I sit down with a client, I have imposter syndrome.

I have great news: there is a cure…..kinda. Every time I start hearing these thoughts in my head, I temporarily set them aside, step into the work that needs to be done, and let the results speak for themselves. The first several times, that’s nearly impossible. But after a few repetitions, I realize I’m not as bad as I told myself I was. Then after a few more repetitions, I realize I’m better than I previously was. Then fast forward a lot more repetitions, I see the truth. The self-talk of imposter syndrome never fully goes away, but we learn to recognize it for what it is. A lie. An ugly lie, created by us, which we use against ourselves.

I don’t write about this topic to garner your pity. I’m writing about it because I suspect (er, I know 100%) many of you face imposter syndrome on a daily basis as well. And some of you are believing the lie. Some of you are letting this disgusting self-talk prevent you from doing the thing you know you were meant to do. As you begin your day, I want you to know it’s a lie. You can do this. Temporarily set it aside, step into the work, and let the results speak for themselves. You got this!

We Don't Know What We Don't Know

As I always do, I recently asked a clear but open-ended question to a prospective coaching client, “why are you here?” The answer to this question tells me a lot about someone and the direction this conversation could/should go. Some people have a very clear objective, while others have more of a gut feeling this is a conversation worth having. On this particular day, the husband had a short and concise answer. “We don’t know what we don’t know.”

As we unpacked their financial lives and careers at a high level, it quickly became apparent to me they are doing better than probably 95% of people in this country. In most areas of their finances, they are thriving and have achieved tremendous success. To an extent, they are aware of this. However, they also don’t have much to compare it to. They explained how they try to do the best they can, but don’t always feel confident they are. I immediately confirmed how well they are doing, and tried to put it into a context that would move the emotional needle for them.

On the flip side, there are a few areas where they lacked focus, insight, and progress. Again, they weren’t really aware of how much they have fallen short in these particular areas. They immediately took note of these shortfalls, presumably for future reference.

When I asked what they attribute all their success to, they responded, “we don’t know what we don’t know, so we just keep asking questions and try to learn.” It seems a bit ironic: they know a lot about these topics because they humbly admit they don’t know a lot about these topics…..which enables and propels them to learn about these topics.

I know I’ve been guilty of feeling like I knew a lot about a topic, which caused me to stop learning and growing. I want to be more like this couple, though. Humble, curious, and open to grow. There’s always something to learn, and someone to learn it from.

What’s one area of life you want to grow in 2023?