You Aren't Alone

On August 7th, at a client's request, we published a podcast episode titled "Making Financial Progress While Inflation is Kicking Your Butt." In it, I shared a common experience many families across our country are going through. Inflation is doing a number on us. For millions of families, the inflation we've experienced over the past few years has eroded most (or all) of the financial margin they've managed to create. It's scary, frustrating, and defeating.

This week, I spent time with this client for the first time since that episode went live. They jokingly asked if that episode had gone viral. While it hasn't necessarily gone viral, at least 15-20 people have mentioned that specific episode to me. Comments such as, "that hit a little too close to home," "I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way," and "I feel like you understand what we're going through."

All this feedback illustrates an important and powerful point. We aren't alone. While we often feel like we're dealing with genuinely unique circumstances, they are often slight variations of what others are experiencing. I say this to highlight the fact you aren't alone. If true, there are a handful of implications:

• You don't have to go through it alone.

• If others can do it, so can you!

• If others have done it, there are resources to learn and grow.

• Success isn't possible.....it's probable. We just need to keep moving forward. 

• There will be people who try to tear you down with a victim mentality.....

• .....but there will be people who try to encourage and support you.

I've experienced this first-hand over the past 15 years. When we were deeply in debt, I realized millions of others were as well. When I wanted to start a business, I realized millions of others had already gone down that road before me. When we struggled with fertility issues, I realized millions of others struggled as well. When we lost a child, I realized millions of others were also dealing with a similar pain. I wasn't alone, and neither are you.

With that in mind, don't be afraid to be open with others. With honesty comes support, and with support comes progress. Oh yeah, and never hesitate to hit me up if you need anything. I'd be honored to help. You aren't alone, and that's a beautiful thing. 

The Case Against (Hosting) Garage Sales

I love garage sales. Before having kids, I would regularly hit the local neighborhoods on Saturday mornings, looking for an exciting score. It felt like a modern-day treasure hunt. Some days I would strike out, and others, I would hit the jackpot! 

With that context in mind, I'm against hosting garage sales. High cost, low reward, and most importantly, a giant missed opportunity. I'll share a brief story to illustrate why I land where I land. Many years ago, I found out via Facebook that my obviously wealthy friends were hosting a garage sale. Knowing what I know about their careers, they easily combined for $500,000 of annual income (and have the house and cars to match that perception). Out of pure curiosity, I showed up at the garage sale. Disorienting doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had by combing through $5 skillets and $6 bedsheets while standing in the driveway of an $600,000 house (for my non-Midwest friends, that's a pretty nice house). 

First, I don't think they are evil or doing something unethical. It's their life and they get to do whatever they want. However, I believe they whiffed on one of the greatest giving opportunities of their lives. Tens of thousands of dollars of material goods were sold that day, for maybe a few hundred bucks. The alternative option was to bless others in significantly profound ways. That kitchen set? There's probably a single mom in their community that just left an abusive marriage that would be over the moon to receive that gift. Or the bedroom goods? They probably have some friends with a kid who just left the nest with few resources. The list can go on and on.

Sarah and I had this conversation relatively early in our marriage. We committed to never selling anything. Any time we part ways with something, it will be given away. It's not ours to begin with, after all. We get to benefit from it for a while, then share it with someone else can do the same. For more than a decade, that belief has carried through to our actions. My favorite example of this was in late 2019 when we sold our 4-bedroom house and downsized into a 2-bedroom townhome. We gave away nearly every material possession we had. 

• Our mower went to a former youth group kid who had just purchased his first home.

• We gave my beautiful office furniture to a local woman with terminal cancer. 

• Our kitchen table went to a close friend, and we regularly eat at that table when we visit them. 

• Tons of baby clothes and supplies went to former youth group kids and clients who were becoming first-time parents. 

We could have easily sold this stuff, but instead we got to be on the giving end of some special blessings. These are beautiful opportunities in front of each of us. We all have something to share, and I believe sharing is better than any price you could charge. 

The Generosity of Campers

As a lifelong camper, I have vivid camping memories spanning from my childhood to the present day. These memories fill all sorts of buckets (exploring, cooking, swimming, etc.), but there’s a special bucket called “generosity.” I don’t know what it is about camping, but it brings out the best in some people. There’s something about having new, temporary neighbors, and some level of shared experience, that connects people. It’s this idea of community, but actually lived out. When someone is trying to back in their camper, a total stranger swoops in to guide them. Another camper has an extra bundle of firewood, so they gift it to the adjacent campsite who just pulled in that afternoon. A few people are randomly walking by a group of people enjoying a meal, and they receive a thoughtful invite to stop and grab a bite to eat. A group of friends are playing volleyball or basketball, but they invite another group to join them. Total strangers, quickly turned friends, sharing what they have.

There’s a genuine hospitality and openness that comes out when people are camping. Perhaps it has something to do with getting away from life’s busyness, or maybe it’s because other people are there for the same reason, or perhaps there are a lot less stress points weighing people down. Regardless, there’s a beauty in this degree of lived community.

I think we should bottle this up and bring it back to our normal lives. And by we, I do mean we. I think I fall into a wide swath of people who show more hospitality to neighbors on a camping trip than back home. In some ways, I show a ton of hospitality, but in other ways, I don’t at all. Perhaps some introspection is in order on this one. If I’m being honest with myself, I think it’s a matter of falling into the trap of busy. We get so busy that we can’t see the obvious opportunities and need right in front of our noses. I know I’m guilty of this at times. Sometimes I’ll wake up out of my stress-induced stupor and see it, while other times, someone in my life will point it out to me. Regardless, I know I periodically miss the mark.

There’s no better time than now to create a true culture of community around us in our daily lives. When we get it right, it’s beautiful. When we miss the mark, it’s a huge missed opportunity. We won’t always nail itt, but man, we can certainly do better…..myself included.

No Longer Interested

Many people have this blog delivered to their inbox each morning. It’s free to subscribe and you should totally do it! The platform I use to distribute it provides me with a lot of insights and data. How many people are opening the e-mail, what links they are clicking, what other articles they are reading. So. Much. Data.

However, there can be a downside to all this info. A few days into this new blog format, I noticed someone unsubscribed. This was of course someone who doesn’t know me and doesn’t realize how valuable all this content is, right!?!? haha! I clicked into it and saw the name of a close friend. Wait, a close friend unsubscribed? It wasn’t enough to just ignore my e-mails and maybe come back down the road if/when they’re curious? Nah, they took an intentional step to rid me and my content from their life. Ok, now I’m just being dramatic.

When they unsubscribed, the chosen reason was, “no longer interested.” Double ouch!

I learned long ago that many people in my life don’t much care for my work or my perspective. For a while, it hurt. I was confused. Why wouldn’t they care about what I have to offer? Well, they just don’t….and that’s ok! About twice per week someone will say to me, “sorry, I don’t listen to your podcast.” My response is always, “that’s ok…..I don’t follow you to work, either.”

Many of my close friends don’t read, listen, or watch ANY of my content. My own wife doesn’t even listen to the podcast. On the other hand, we have listeners all over the world and we periodically rise up the charts in Italy and Belize (no idea why!).

All we can do is share our passions, ideas, and gifts with the world, and let the chips fall how they may. When we have the courage to do so, the right people will find us. Our people. The audience we were meant to serve. If you’re one of them, I’m grateful for you. If you’re not, I’m still grateful for you and hope you’ve found your people.

The world deserves what you have to offer!