The Irony of Debt and Income

I recently posted a few insights from my first 750 professional coaching sessions. I received a lot of positive feedback, but also criticism; the exact criticism I was expecting. To be specific, here's the part that I'm taking heat for:

"Debt does not discriminate based on income. It's not the lack of income that leads us into debt, but rather our decisions."

I knew I was saying something controversial when I wrote it, expecting to receive some pushback. That statement wasn't entirely true, and I knew it wasn't true. Debt DOES discriminate based on income.....but in the opposite way you probably think. This is a dynamic I've seen play out over and over again. The higher the income a family makes, the more likely they are to be crippled by debt. It's tremendously ironic.

First, let's take mortgages out of the equation. People with higher incomes are more likely to live in more expensive houses, which are more likely to have a higher mortgage balance. Let's acknowledge this fact, then throw it out the window.

Cars are another easy target. People with higher incomes typically drive newer and more expensive cars, and most car owners finance their vehicles. This is also too easy. People with higher incomes often have significantly higher car debt (and brutal payments). We'll throw this one out for today, too.

Let's focus on the most controllable and avoidable debt, especially when "being responsible" and having a good income: credit cards. I think we can all agree that carrying a credit card balance is an expensive and unwise endeavor. However, based on my ever-growing experience, the families who make the most money have the most credit card debt. Don't believe me? Let's look at the data.

Based on data recently released by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and crisply reported by MoneyGeek, here is a breakdown of credit card balances (by household income levels). As you'll see, median and average credit card balances increase as income increases.

I'll synthesize the data and present it this way:

• Families with an average household income in the BOTTOM 40% of Americans have a 38% chance of carrying a credit card balance, and are carrying an average balance of $4,250.

• Families with an average household income in the TOP 40% of Americans have a 48% chance of carrying a credit card balance, and are carrying an average balance of $9,075.

In other words, families at the top of the income spectrum are 26% more likely to carry a credit card balance than those at the bottom of the income spectrum, and the average balance they carry is more than DOUBLE(!!) the lower income families.

This isn't me throwing a pity party for high earners. It's probably the opposite, in fact. We humans are an interesting breed, aren't we? Which leads me back to the sentence I took so much heat for saying: "It's not the lack of income that leads us into debt, but rather our decisions."

It's that whole human experience thing again. Luckily, you get to be a sample size of one: you. Make the most of your financial opportunities and choose wisely.

Randy Off the Top Rope!

I received a message from my friend Randy after a recent blog post about a couple in England who recently made drastic career shifts. Here's what he said:

"If you don't have your priorities straight, a job or career change is not going to help.  You will just be unhappy in a different place, and it could be with less income and more financial strain."

Sharp. Sharp, but true. I want to sit on this thought for today. I often get criticized for advocating that people leave their jobs and pursue work that matters. I need to clarify this perspective. I'm not actually advocating for people to leave their jobs as much as I'm advocating for people to simply pursue a life of meaning. Considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, and we've collectively been lulled into lives of tolerance (or quiet suffering), my sentiment often seems to point in that direction.

The truth, however, is that my friend Randy is right. Change, for change's sake, provides no long-term meaning, satiation, contentment, or fulfillment. Without truly understanding our priorities or how we define a meaningful life, a career shift isn't the remedy we're looking for.

For many of us, and I think Randy's career testimony would be a perfect representation of this, we're already in meaningful jobs. However, if we're pursuing everyone else's definition of success, status, and winning, we might lose sight of what actually matters to us. I'll give you an example.

One of my clients was discontent with his job. He felt frustrated and bored. He looked around and saw his co-workers being promoted to "more important positions." While he was good at his work, he started feeling like it was beneath him. He was impatient and fidgety. He started waking up every day with a slight dread about his day. In other words, he joined the 70% club. As we started talking about it, however, he realized something. When he was able to set his jealousy of co-workers aside, stop worrying about status, and remember why he took this job in the first place, his perspective shifted. He realized the following:

• He was dang good at his job, and used his skills to benefit many people.

• He believes in the mission of the organization.

• His current role allows him to find a healthy balance between work, marriage, and parenting responsibilities. His lifestyle was exactly what he wanted.

• He made a solid income that allowed his family to pay for needs, give sacrificially, afford some fun things/experiences, and save for future wants/needs.

• He has many valuable relationships with co-workers and clients alike. He cherishes these relationships.

• His office is near his house, offering an amazing commute.

In other words, he was living in misery while working a job that's perfect for him. Because he didn't have his priorities straight, as Randy points out, no change was going to save him. However, after realizing what's truly important, he understands he's truly blessed.

Perspective matters! Clear priorities matter, too!

750 Sessions, Oh My

I had a wild realization yesterday when meeting with my assistant, Alyssa. We were updating our client tracking spreadsheet when something caught our eye. After accounting for May's meetings, I have conducted 750 coaching sessions since leaving my prior career in 2019. This doesn't include consultations, touchpoints, one-off meetings, or providing insights to non-clients—750 formal coaching sessions with clients. I initially thought that was an error, but nope (!), it's the real deal.

While every family's situation differs, some consistent and common themes repeatedly pop up. This was never more evident than one day when I had back-to-back coaching meetings. The first was with a first-year elementary teacher trying to carve her path into adulthood. The second was with an NFL player who recently signed an eight-figure contract while navigating multiple endorsement opportunities. I think you and I would agree these two individuals live in entirely different worlds. Here's the thing, though. I had nearly the exact same conversation with both of them. That's the wonder of the human experience and our psychological wiring. While life presents differently for each of us, we often experience similar situations, challenges, and obstacles. It's a beautiful and ironic reminder that money is NEVER about money.

So today, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you 10 insights from my first 750 coaching sessions:

1. Debt does not discriminate based on income. It's not the lack of income that leads us into debt, but rather our decisions. Debt is a trap that's crushing people from every age, race, income, education, profession, and geography.

2. A family's ability to make progress in any area of life is only limited by their belief in the outcome and their discipline to see it through. Countless people have achieved feats that make my accomplishments look like child's play. Never underestimate the power of someone crazy enough to believe it's possible.

3. Combining finances in marriage always yields better results. Better financial results. Better relational results. Better alignment of meaning and purpose. Better execution of the plan. I'll die on this hill. Yes, we can do ok with separate finances, but it's like driving a five-speed car and only believing there are three gears. That third gear feels fast if we don't know the fourth and fifth gears exist.

4. If you pursue money, you might find it. It will be cool and exciting. But if you pursue meaning, you will absolutely find it.....and you'll likely find some money along the way. People who pursue meaning live ridiculously amazing lives. Not easy lives; amazing lives.

5. A well-executed budget is the gateway to any and every goal you want to accomplish. Once you unlock that, anything is possible.

6. Work that matters matters. You wear it in your eyes, and it leaks into every aspect of your life, whether you want it to or not.

7. People are usually doing better than they think, but they have nothing to compare it to other than social media.

8. Nothing changes lives like joyful and sacrificial generosity. Nothing! And I'm not talking about the recipient....the giver!

9. You SHOULD spend money on wants, but only those that add value to YOUR life.

10. Simplify, simplify, simplify. The simpler you make your finances, the more time and energy you can invest in living a meaningful life.

Sorry for the long post today, but it just felt right. Have an amazing day!

Drumming is a “Waste of Resources”

Holy cow! I'm overwhelmed by the number of texts, calls, e-mails, and comments from yesterday's post about Pax's live drumming debut. I'm beyond grateful for all the kind words. I'll probably package them together and store them away until I'm ready to share them with him when he gets older.

Today, though, I want to share one particular comment I received from a close-ish friend. This friend is a fellow finance guy. He's brilliant and has carved a name for himself in the world of finance and investing. Here's what he told me, "That whole thing seems like a waste of resources." Oh really? Tell me more. He continued explaining that we're getting nothing in return for this expense. Pax won't grow up to be a musician, but in the rare chance he does, he'll be poor. This newfound drumming skill won't lead to a valuable college scholarship. It's a dead-end hobby....no upside. Meanwhile, all the money we are spending on it could be invested and used to "build generational wealth" that can actually help my kids. 

This, my friends, is THE reason Meaning Over Money exists. Our finance world (and the culture around it) is impersonal, greedy, materialistic, and selfish. This entire industry is about how to get more, have more, and keep more. It's about dollars and cents. It's cold and calculated. It's a bunch of numbers on a screen, and projections splayed out on a spreadsheet. I love spreadsheets as much as the next financial weirdo, but I'm staunchly against our prevailing culture around finance. 

Meaning Over Money is just that: meaning OVER money. In the case of Finn and Pax's musical endeavors (or any other endeavor, for that matter), it's not about getting a return on my investment. For me, it's about allowing my kids the opportunity to explore the world, unearth potential passions, learn who they are, build confidence, create relationships, pursue failure, and accomplish more than they knew they had in them. That's meaning. That's purpose. That's everything. 

Please, never allow your finances to become cold and calculated. Don't lose sight of the meaning. Don't forget what's most important. Don't let the money drive you or your decisions. Yes, we need to be responsible with our finances. Yes, we need to ensure our family is taken care of. But don't forget what you're fighting for. You're worth far more than money.

Unearthing Hidden Gems

Yesterday was a weird day. It was Finn and Pax's first rock concert. Yes, rock concert. Having literally zero musical talent, it's odd to see my kids thrive with music. The kids' band played a 9-song set. Finn played the electric guitar, and Pax played the drums. Watching them grow over the last several months has been an odd journey.

Yesterday marked the 90-day mark since they each picked up their respective instrument. Finn is learning quickly, and it's fun to see him progress. Pax, however, is a different beast. Seeing him drum yesterday was a surreal experience. I kind of knew it was going to happen, but it was crazy to watch it play out in real-time. He absolutely crushed it. He did things I couldn't wrap my head around. Here's a video of one of his songs.

Seriously, I just can't understand how he does what he does. He's only been doing it for three months! The crowd saw it, I saw it, and our family saw it. He unlocked something special, and I'm not even sure he recognizes it.

This is such an amazing testimony of life. Sometimes, we have so much more to offer the world. There are unearthed gems just waiting to be discovered. The kids showed an interest in music, and we decided to give them an opportunity to learn. It could have been a dud, but it appears this thing may have legs.

The truth is, there is only one way to find out. We don't know what we don't know. Now that we are giving it a chance, we're finding out. For whatever reason, I think Pax may have found something amazing for his journey. If he wants to continue it, we're here for it. If not, that's cool, too. We never expected rock band to be a thing, but here we are. We potentially unearthed a gem, and we'll roll with it as it develops.

This is the beautiful part of life. Each of us has unearthed gems waiting to be discovered. We might have found Pax's, but what about yours? One of mine is the coffee business. My partnership with TJ and his Northern Vessel endeavor has changed my life. Another is podcasting. It, too, has significantly altered my life. I never knew until I knew. What else is in store for me? We'll find out! What else is in store you for you? What yet-to-be-found skills or passions await your discovery? I hope we find out! Go find your unearthed gems!

“It IS Possible”

I recently received the most beautiful message from a stranger: "It IS Possible."

For a while, that's the only message I saw. You can probably guess the bewilderment I felt when I received that message from a total stranger. Luckily, another message followed. It was from a 40-something in England. He is married with two young teens. He explained that he's lived his entire career with the mindset that his primary objective is to provide as much income (and build as much wealth) as possible, and then retire as soon as possible. He was living a normal life, but it felt increasingly intolerable.

Then, he found our Meaning Over Money podcast. He said he connected with some of the stories we shared but thought our meaning over money principles sounded absurd (especially from Americans, whom he stereotypes as materialistic and money-hungry). However, the more he listened, the more he wondered if there was, in fact, a better life for him and his family.

Eventually, he did something drastic. He and his wife took a sharp turn, and both made drastic career shifts. "It was the scariest thing we've ever done. Still is." They elected to buck culture's narrative about work, money, and wealth to pursue something better. Fast forward more than a year, he said their lives have been transformed. They make a little less money, care much less about building wealth, and are leaning hard into work that matters. They also shared how their kids have noticed a shift in their attitudes, demeanor, and marriage. I loved that part, and I'm so grateful they took the time to share this amazing story with me! It IS possible!

Multiple times per week, I'm told that my ideas are far-fetched, naive, impractical, and/or dangerous. While I don't love these comments, I get it. The entire premise of living a meaning over money life is kinda crazy, and significantly counter-cultural. It's a tough pill to swallow to consider these principles may actually produce a rich and meaningful life. Deciding to jump off the hamster wheel of more is one of the scariest things ever. Even if you feel confident in that decision, nearly every area of life will make you doubt yourself. Friends, family, co-workers, movies, music, TV.....everything! I understand the odds are stacked against us here. So when someone reaches out to communicate their recent pursuit of a different kind of life, I celebrate. Just one of those messages can drown out 500 criticisms.

It IS possible to live a rich and meaningful life where you wake up each morning excited about what you're about to do—not because it's fun, but because it matters. A life that you aren't in a hurry to retire from.

If you're living such a life today, this is my virtual fist bump to you. You've already won. I don't care how much money you make, what your title is, or how wealthy you are. You won! If this isn't you, please know it IS possible.

Good Morning, Bob Ross

Hello, Bob Ross! Yes, you! You're an artist, you know. Today is the first of the month, which means you woke up to a blank canvas. Whatever happened last month is gone....it's on that old, messy canvas. My May canvas was a disaster. We had surprise expenses, mishaps, and oversights. We screwed up. I didn't like the painting we ended up with.

But today? Today we each wake up with a clean, white, beautiful canvas. For the next 30 days, we'll curate a new piece of art. We'll make money, spend money, save money, give money, and invest money. Thousands of transactions and events will slowly paint the canvas, stroke by stroke.

We have two choices today. We can either grab brushes and haphazardly begin tearing across the canvas with reckless abandon, or we can make a plan. Many people attack their clean and beautiful canvas with chaos, reactivity, and urgency, resulting in crazy artwork akin to what my toddlers used to bring home from pre-school. Others will take a few minutes before picking up a brush to determine the objective of this potential masterpiece. Where the trees will go, how fluffy the clouds will be, and where the water meets the horizon. No, it won't be perfect; perfect doesn't exist. But when the painting is complete, it will be beautiful.

Here's my encouragement for you today:

• Reflect on what happened last month: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Learn from it. Celebrate the wins and forgive yourself for the losses.

• Put the past behind you. You can't drive forward by staring into the rear-view mirror. That's a recipe for a disastrous crash. Eyes forward!

• Take 15 minutes to create a plan for your money money. How much is coming in, and from where? What are your needs? What debts need to be paid? How much will you give? Make sure to add some fun in there. Determine which saving initiatives need attention. Make sure every dollar of income has its marching orders. No soldiers left behind. Each is important.

• Commit to yourself (and if relevant, your partner) to follow your plan. After all, it's your plan.

• Execute with confidence and conviction. Paint that canvas!

• Repeat the same process next month.

This money stuff can suck. It can be the source of so much pain, suffering, turmoil, and tension. But if done well, it can also lead to some beautiful places. Perfect, no. Beautiful, yes. Instead of viewing it as dollars and cents, see it as bringing your values, aspirations, and meaning to life. Treat it like a blank canvas, just waiting for a Bob Ross masterpiece to be painted. Your masterpiece.

Driving Value From Our Lives

After some of my recent lamenting about repeated and annoying car maintenance expenses, I had a fun conversation with a buddy. He found entertainment in my recent woes, as he and I have had a years-long back-and-forth about cars. His position, which he happily shared with me in this most recent conversation, is that it's cheaper to buy a newer and more reliable vehicle than the "beaters" I buy. At the heart of his argument is the assertion that any money I save on buying a cheaper car is given right back through my maintenance expenses.

Today, I want to illustrate these contrasting viewpoints with a real-life comparison. We've owned Sarah's Toyota Highlander for approximately 72 months. It was seven years old when we bought it, so it's now 13 years old and has a ton of miles. We paid $15,000 for it, and its private party resale value is approximately $7,000 (according to KBB). That works out to an $8,000 erosion of value, or $111/month. On top of that, we've spent about $9,000 maintaining and fixing it (or $125/month). Adding these two numbers together, this vehicle has cost us approximately $236/month for the last six years.

Now, my friend's scenario. He originally purchased a new SUV almost six years ago. He paid $61,000 for it, and it's worth approximately $28,000 today (KBB private party value). Therefore, his vehicle cost him roughly $458/month over the last six years. This doesn't include maintenance; he said there hasn't been any (not sure I believe that).

Even though we've spent around $9,000 to fix and maintain our vehicle over the years, it cost us roughly half of what it cost him. This $222/month discrepancy equals a $16,000 difference over the six-year period. However, there's also one major component missing here. I can save up and write a $15,000 check to buy a vehicle, but the only way for him to acquire a $61,000 vehicle is to finance it. His $458/month cost doesn't include maintenance OR interest from his loan payments. And it's a big loan! That's opportunity cost. Every month, he's eating those payments instead of using that money for something more meaningful.

The X-factor in all of this is depreciation. Generally speaking, vehicles lose roughly 15% of their value each year. He will lose 15% and I'll lose 15%, but not all 15% losses are created equal. When he purchased his vehicle, he was losing 15% of $61,000 ($9,100 loss in year 1) and I was losing 15% of $15,000 ($2,300 loss in year 1). Those losses add up over time! In the same six-year span, I lost $8,000 of value and he lost $33,000.

Yeah, I've been hit with a bunch of car maintenance expenses recently. But we need to zoom out and see the bigger picture. He lost as much value in his "reliable" vehicle in year 1 as I've spent on maintenance in six years. It's simple math, but it's powerful....and it changes everything.

Cars are important, but they shouldn't impair or impede other aspects of life that are far more meaningful.

Just Move One Piece

Finn recently decided to be a chess player. It was an unexpected development in our household, but I dig it. I'm not good at chess, but it's fun to compete with him and watch his little brain work. In the first few games, I had to remind him, "just move one piece." You move one, I move one.

With as complicated as our finances can become, there are a lot of moving pieces. Sometimes, families feel the need to adjust every number every month. They try to focus on all the categories and prioritize everything, then get overwhelmed. Instead, I encourage people to "just move one piece." If there are one or two categories that we need to get better control of, focus more dollars to, or gain more intentionality on, put your energy there.

We shouldn't try to do everything. If we can hone in on one or two things this month, then maybe we can grab another next month. Music lessons and cell phone replacements are two categories for us. After a trial run for drum and electric guitar lessons for the kids, it's time for Sarah and I to build that expense into our budget for the foreseeable future. That's a priority for us, and we need to create margin and consistency with it.

Second, Sarah's phone is in hospice care. We need to make quick decisions, or she'll be living in 1994 again. Therefore, we'll lean hard into this category and find a way to replace her phone quickly.

It's the power of the just moving one (or two) piece(s). We can't move the needle on every goal, every category, and every habit. But we can move the needle on a few, then next time a few more, then eventually a few more.

As one more visual, let's say you have five different priorities, each costing $500. Let's also pretend you have $500 of monthly discretionary income after all needs, wants, and giving have been accounted for. If you prioritize them equally and try to do everything at once, you'll contribute $100 to each of them. At that pace, it will take five months to achieve a win. On the flip side, if you decide to prioritize just one (and contribute all $500 to it), you accomplish a goal in the first month. If you do the same in the second month, you achieve another goal. Constant momentum.

Many financial situations in our lives involve this principle. If we just move one piece, we can move the needle quickly while gaining confidence from the wins.

The new month is quickly approaching. What one (or two) piece(s) will you move?

The Claws Tighten

I introduced yesterday's post by vaguely teasing an experience in KC, which triggered my introspection about status. Instead of sharing about what actually happened, I invited you to take a look in the mirror and conduct your own introspection about where status might have its claws in you. Thank you very much for the feedback. Your answers proved one major point I wanted to make. We all have our own. Here are yours:

• Income

• Job Title

• Golf handicap

• How grandkids are doing

• How many grandkids you have

• The boards you sit on

• The neighborhood or town you live in

• Clothes

• What age you get to retire

• Country club membership

• The make and model of the car you drive

• The restaurants you frequent

• The vacations you take 

• How much time you get off from work

• What careers your kids have

• What colleges your kids go to

• The notoriety of your business

• The house you live in

• The activities and teams your kids participate in

• The success of your favorite sports team

• The watches you wear

• The beauty treatments you regularly get

• How noble your chosen career is

That's quite the list! Indeed, each of these is a form of status that has the potential to get its claws in us. 

Now, my story. While driving with my family in KC, we weren't far from my old house. It's the first house I owned, which I lived in from age 26-28 (until my company shut down and I experienced an involuntary relocation to Iowa). I thought it would be fun to take the kids to see the house where their dad lived when he was a young adult. 

As we approached the house, I was flooded with nostalgia. Lots of memories danced through my head. That's also the moment I realized how much houses used to be my status symbol. When I purchased that house, it was bigger, newer, and nicer than I probably should have bought. It was pretty sweet. It was a great house, and still is (from the looks of it). I cared an awful lot about what that house said about me. It was my status. The claws of status tightened and caused me to make questionable choices in the pursuit of that status....and would for years to come. 

Here's the irony. 15 years later, more accomplished and financially sound, I'm living in a house that’s inferior to the one I bought when I was 26. I've overcome the claws of status!

Or have I? The truth is, I don't think I have. In the past few years, I've realized that I still unhealthily find status in my house. While I'm cool living nearly anywhere, I recognize that I don't enjoy hosting people in my current house. Why? Status, most likely. Or perhaps more daily, the lack of status of my house. I find worth and status in my residence, which is a toxic trait. I'm grateful I can make practical and wise decisions around housing now, and I’m so glad we live where we live, but it bugs me that the claws of status are still tight. I'm disappointed in myself, but now I know what room in my mind must be cleaned next. 

As G.I. Joe taught me as a kid, "And knowing is half the battle." 

The Claws of Status

I just returned from a quick 24-hour trip to KC to celebrate my niece's 13th birthday. I took the 350Z and made a little convertible road trip out of it. It was an exhausting but fun little adventure. Yesterday, I had an experience that triggered today’s topic. I'm not going to share the exact story yet, as I want you to think about the topic through your own lens first. 

Here's the idea I was pondering on my drive home last night: Our human pursuit of status is like an animal getting its claws into us. Once it takes hold—even just slightly—its natural instinct is to clamp down harder. 

The crazy thing about status, though, is that each of us uses a different version of it to define success. Status comes in all shapes and sizes. Power, income, possessions, influence.....this list is endless. We don't all succumb to all of them, but rather there are likely one or two that are particularly alluring for you. 

What makes status a unique feature in our lives is that it is extrinsic. In other words, it's present on the outside. Status is something that other people know we have. It's a signal. It's a means for comparison. It's a way that I can exhibit to you that I am ________. That blank represents how I want you to feel about me. 

In a world of apples, oranges, and bananas, status is our simplified way of creating apples-to-apples comparisons between us and someone else. It's the measuring stick of something we want to be measured. It's a scorecard to determine who is winning the game. 

So, before I delve into my story and my own thoughts on status and how it's situated in my own life, I have a question for you today. If you could put your finger on it, what is something that did or does give you status? Is there something particular that has its claws in you? If you're honest with yourself, do you find yourself pursuing a certain piece of status in your own journey? If so, can you please reply to this e-mail or drop a comment on the website? I'd love to hear your feedback. I'm not here to judge. I'm just as imperfect as anyone. What I'm looking for is sincerity and transparency, and that's what I offer to you in return. Tomorrow's post will be a follow-up piece, including some of your feedback. 

Have a great day!

Side note: I'll be giving a message to a young adult group at a local church tonight. I'm going somewhere I've never gone in a public talk before (content-wise), so please keep me in your prayers as I try to deliver it crisply and confidently. I'll elaborate more about it on the blog soon!

One At a Time

Yesterday, I faced the same challenge many of my clients regularly encounter. After a few weeks of travel, sickness, and the Northern Vessel car crash sequel, my personal finances have taken a back seat to life. This is a natural consequence when life gets busy. It's not a matter of if, but when. Life WILL get crazy, and when it does, our finances may be a temporary victim. 

Upon finally having a little spare time on my hands yesterday, I popped open my budgeting app to see what things looked like. Much to my despair, I was met with 68 uncategorized transactions. Crap! Few things cause anxiety and overwhelmingness quite like realizing you've fallen that far behind on tracking your finances. 

At that moment, I triggered my motto, which I find helpful when these anxious feelings creep in: "One at a time." I can't categorize 68 transactions at once, but I can categorize one....then one.....then one. Here's how my brain works when starting my one-at-a-time process:

• First, I start with the most recent transactions, as they are most likely fresh in my mind. I quickly categorize each item that's immediately familiar. 

• Second, I scan the transactions for vendors that are obvious categories. MidAmerican Energy is electricity. PureBarre is Sarah's fitness. Leaning Tower Pizza is dining out. Simple and clear. 

• Third, I choose a vendor that has multiple transactions popping up, and systemmatically knock out each transaction. Amazon is a great example. I had about a half dozen Amazon transactions. I logged into my Amazon account, scrolled through my recent orders (to determine what categories each transaction entailed), and categorized each transaction accordingly. I repeated this process for Target and Wal-Mart transactions by using their respective apps. 

• Fourth, after working through the first three steps above, my unallocated transactions shrunk from 68 to 15. These remaining transactions take a bit more work. They may involve a quick conversation with Sarah, an e-mail search for receipts, or logging into my bank account to see if there's an expanded transaction description. These are never fun, but it's a lot easier when there are only a handful of them. 

One at a time. This is such an important perspective when dealing with our finances. Things can get complex and overwhelming. It's the nature of money and numbers, which is why so many people flounder or just give up. But when we take a one-at-a-time approach, nothing is overly intimidating. Just keep moving forward. Sure, we'd love to be sprinting every step of the way.....but even a crawl is still progress. Putting one foot in front of the other.

Apply this to all areas of money—heck, apply it to all areas of life! Break things down into digestible chunks. Make it approachable. Create opportunities for small wins. Execute. Repeat.

It feels good to get caught up on my budget tracking and again have clarity on where we stand. I'm sure I'll get derailed again at some point, but when I do, one at a time!

Can’t Have the Good Without the Bad

Do you ever wish you could just wave a magic wand and get rid of all the junk that's bringing you down? The frustrations, pain, suffering, failures, and setbacks. Life would be so much easier if we could just remove the crap. Unfortunately, it's a package deal. We HAVE to take the bad with the good. It's all part of the deal. To take it a step further, we can't have the good without the bad. Without the bad, the good isn't good. The challenge is what makes the good so much sweeter. 

If you've been following along this week, we've recently had a mess of a time with Northern Vessel. The second car crash into our shop in nine months is a gut punch like no other. Further, the story behind what actually happened is getting weirder and more unsavory as the pieces come together. I still can't share details, but I will as soon as we're able. Needless to say, we're faced with monumental challenges as we work to rebuild our space, serve our customers, and ensure our team is healthy and taken care of. A big piece of me wishes I could wave my magic wand and just undo this part of our life. 

On the flip side, the good is so good. We're in a rhythm that's hard to explain. Yes, the closure of our shop hurts. We've only two months removed from having reconstruction completed from the last crash. We're finally into the groove we've always wanted......then crash! However, we aren't defined by our setbacks and the incident that recently occurred. We've been able to fulfill our obligations to LifeTime Fitness, which carries our products in the Des Moines location. Yesterday was also our weekly farmer's market. We've spent the past three weeks growing, learning, and tweaking, culminating in yesterday's affair. After watching it all beautifully come together, we sold 100 gallons of our signature oat milk cold brew latte in just over four hours. We ran out of product with about 40 minutes remaining in the market. More than 1,200 people. Nearly 5 coffees a minute for 4+ hours. The team was locked in, the lines flowed, and the vibe was right. 

Despite all the pain and suffering, it was beautiful. We can't have the good without the bad. It's a package deal. As I've spent my last week working through so many challenges in my life and businesses, I repeatedly wanted to wave my magic wand. But then, I catch myself. These are the challenges that make it all worth it. 

I think back to the $236,000 of debt I used to have. That was painful, but the beauty of working through it was so satisfying. 

I think back to my 20-year career and all the ups and downs. Some of it was painful, but that only adds to the beauty of where it's come. 

I think about all my clients who are fighting their own battles. I don't want to wave my magic wand to make their struggles go away. Doing so would rob them of the beauty of what's about to happen. 

We can't have the good without the bad. 

Bypass the Gatekeeper

Earlier this month, I told the story about how a neighbor kid was walking up and down the street, asking homeowners if he could mow their yard. I love this kid's entrepreneurial spirit. In my post, I said, "To me, this young man exemplifies the crazy new world order we live in. We used to rely on gatekeepers to decide if we were worthy of the job. Today, we're only limited by our creativity and willingness to put ourselves out there."

One blog reader responded with a question, and it's haunted me (in a good way) ever since. I responded to her with my acknowledgement of receipt, but still haven't provided her with substantive insights. I still owe her a meaningful response, but this post is meant to hash through one related idea. I so deeply appreciate her situation and the heart behind it, and she deserves something far better than she's gotten.

I'll paraphrase her question: "How do we bypass the gatekeepers?" 

Gatekeepers are everywhere! Gatekeepers decide if we get an interview. Gatekeepers decide if we are hired. Gatekeepers decide how much we'll make. Gatekeepers decide if we're worthy. Gatekeepers decide if we're deserving. We've all spent our lives dealing with gatekeepers. Heck, some of us ARE gatekeepers! 

In the old world order, most paths involved gatekeepers.....especially for younger people. Our fate rested in the hands of a gatekeeper, deciding if we were worthy of an opportunity. 

In our modern world (with the technology at our hands), though, we have virtually unlimited paths....many of which don't involve gatekeepers. Take the story of the young man mowing yards. He didn't appeal to a gatekeeper to initiate his business. 

It can be an overwhelming concept to implement, but it's also shockingly simple. Here's how I perceive it:

1. Identify a problem.

2. Offer a solution to fix the problem.

3. Receive compensation for fixing the problem.

4. Serve people well enough to earn the right to fix more problems (for the same people or the people they tell)

5. Repeat.

This is the model the young mower is following. 

1. He identified a problem: people in his neighborhood are busy and either don't want to mow, or don't have the time to mow. 

2. He has a solution to the problem: his time and a mower in tow. 

3. He gets compensated for fixing people's problems: He charged me $30 for the privilege. 

4. He earned the right to do it again. I loved his attitude and willingness to help me out quickly in a pinch, so I asked if I could put his contact information in my phone for future use. I will also advocate for him if anyone else in the neighborhood asks. 

5. He's come back multiple times since!

Instead of asking people for permission, we could seek problems to solve. That's where our creativity and unique perspective kick in. I recently met a teen who makes a simple product, sells it on Etsy, and makes $2,000/month. No gatekeeper. Creative. Fixing problems. Being compensated for the privilege. 

What problems do you see around you? 

How can you fix those problems? 

What's it worth to people?

Bypass the gatekeeper!

A Prescription For Generosity

The last few days have been quite stressful on my end. Between work obligations, travel, pain experienced by people I care about, our recent NV debacle (again), and sickness, my stress level is at 100. Needless to say, I was a mess yesterday. There's a partial cure for this type of stress, though: Generosity! Knowing I was hurting, I did exactly what I knew would help alleviate what ails me. I looked for opportunities to be generous. 

Throughout the day, I stumbled upon two opportunities to bless someone. Each was fun. Each made a difference (I hope). Each helped make me feel better. I've spent years thinking about why generosity oddly helps alleviate all sorts of troubles. Here's what I've come up with:

• When we give, we turn our focus from ourselves to someone else. 

• Science has proven that giving makes us happy.

• When we give, it's a subconscious signal that we have enough....and we'll be ok.

• Giving is a reminder of a broader calling.

No, my problems didn't magically go away. As I'm writing this, I'm still stuck with the same set of circumstances. Nothing is fixed. However, I feel peace and calm. I feel content. I see the bigger picture. It's a mess, but a purposeful mess. 

Give generosity a try. This is my formal prescription for you. When you're having a sucky day, find an opportunity to be generous. When you're stressed or overwhelmed, give. When it all feels like too much, take a moment to serve someone else. It makes a difference. 

Today is a new day! I hope it's better for me, and I hope it's better for you, too. Either way, it's also an amazing opportunity to bless someone. Keep your eyes open and your purpose clear. Have a great day!

Deja Vu, But the Worst Kind

After publishing the recent "see it through their eyes" post, I knew today's post would be about my recent Chicago Cubs game experience. The subject is deja vu, correlating Finn and Pax's first Cubs game with my own when I was their age. It was going to be a joyful, sentimental, and light-hearted piece. However, today's post is about a different kind of deja vu. 

Yesterday, shortly after publishing the blog, I received terrible news. It felt like a bad dream—deja vu, but the worst kind. A group of people stole a car and barrelled into our Northern Vessel storefront.....again. As a refresher, this exact situation played out in August 2023. Four people were struck by the car; one was moderately injured, and three mildly so. It was a horrific scene, but we're glad no lives were lost. We re-opened a few days later, but it took over seven months to fully repair the damage. We've been at full strength for the last two months, and then yesterday happened. 

I won't go into details, as the police are still investigating, but it's not a pretty story. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, but the damage was severe. We again face a potentially long road to recovery. 

There is a silver lining, though. There will be another form of deja vu present. Just like last time, we will approach the situation with optimism, gratitude, and perseverance. We will come out of it stronger, more resilient, and as unified as ever. This is a perfect representation of life. It's beautiful, but will surely be met with challenges, pain, and trials. It's not supposed to be easy, and that is what makes it all the more fulfilling. 

We're grateful to serve those we serve, and we won't lose sight of our calling. It's all part of the story, even if it's the worst kind of deja vu. 

Stay safe, stay strong, and keep moving forward. 

The Bubbles We Live In

Yesterday was an amazing day for the Shelton family. We had lots of adventures, which were capped off with Finn and Pax's first-ever Cubs game. At the same time, though, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues back home were experiencing unspeakable destruction and pain. Storms rocked our metro, and tornados devastated families and communities. Multiple friends lost their homes (or parts of their homes) and are now left sorting through the debris. Here’s a before-and-after photo comparison of one street:

Truly devastating. I can’t fathom how people begin to pick up the pieces and move forward.

We all live in our own little bubbles. What we experience is largely correlated with what others around us are experiencing, while communities just a few hundred miles away live in their own unique bubbles. 

It's so easy to lose sight of what's beyond our bubble. What's inside our bubble feels like reality, while what happens in someone else's bubble feels like words on a screen; cold, distant, and unrelatable. 

While we can't fully remove ourselves from our respective bubbles, I think we're all called to keep our eyes on other bubbles. When our bubble is feeling good, someone else's is disastrous. When someone's is amazing, maybe that's when ours is hurting. Living open-handed with our eyes cast across the horizon at other people's bubbles allows us to be receptive to felt needs. When we can think and feel beyond what's right in front of us, we can serve a greater purpose and make the impact the world deserves from our influence and actions. 

I may re-read this post in the next few days and realize it's complete gibberish. Or, perhaps it's exactly what I needed to say. Only time will tell. If you were impacted by yesterday's storms, I'm so sorry. I'd love to help you in any way I can. Whatever bubble you're living in, I hope you keep your eyes open and ears attentive. Pain and suffering are universal features of life, but we each have the power to walk alongside others to help ease their burdens. I hope you find a way to bless someone today....whether they are in your bubble or somewhere outside it. 

Stay safe out there. 

Seeing It (Again) Through Their Eyes

Yesterday, our family embarked on our first post-school summer trip: Chicago! Having grown up not far west of Chicago, it's a city I've been to countless times. Though I love it, it doesn't have a "new" feeling anymore. However, it's Finn and Pax's first-ever time in Chicago, and it's been a real treat so far. Sensory overload at its finest. We grabbed some Chicago-style pizza, hit a massive candy store, and walked alongside Michigan Avenue and the river. Not too shabby for our first few hours in the city.

There's something different about being present for other people's first-time experiences, especially kids. It's almost like we get to experience it for the first time again. I felt like a little kid showing off my favorite toy. It was pure joy to show the boys a city that's been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

We're staying downtown, making a pilgrimage to Wrigley, catching a Blue Man Group show, scoping out The Bean, and spending some time at the Museum of Science and Industry. We'll have Italian Beefs, hot dogs, and probably enough ice cream to make President Biden blush. It won't be an inexpensive trip, but man, we'll be investing in memories. 

I've had many profoundly memorable experiences throughout my life. Seeing the Great Wall, exploring the Mongolian wilderness, wandering the streets of Hong Kong, country-hopping the Middle East, and adventuring through Europe. All of these memories are special to me. But there's nothing more special than experiencing something through another's eyes. It's the power of community and shared experiences. It's the bonding that happens. An unspeakable connection that we know will last a lifetime. 

Investing in memories is an amazing endeavor, but doing it alongside people we care about ratchets it up to a whole new level. I made my first trip to Wrigley when I was seven years old, then proceeded to visit it at least one time per year for the next 20 years. It holds a special place in my heart. Tonight, I get to take my own seven-year-olds to their first game at Wrigley. I can't wait to invest in those memories and watch the game through their eyes. It may be my 100th trip to Wrigley, but it might as well be my first.

Plug the Leaks

"We need to stop spending so much on dining out."

"We need to cut back on travel."

"We need to quit going to games."

These are three comments made to me in the past few weeks. They are from three separate clients, each with their own financial tensions. Things feel tight. There's not enough margin to keep the train on the track, never mind make financial progress. Their natural inclination is to cut back, which is fair. However, I think they are sniffing up the wrong tree. 

The first family's love language is food. Going out to eat is one of their biggest bucket-fillers. 

The second family's passion is travel. It's their #1 priority, and it fuels them.

The third family are avid sports fans. Watching their teams play is one of their unifying and family-centric hobbies. 

It's interesting how our instinct is often to cut back on the most prominent (and important) things in our lives. These families aren't alone! We all do it to some extent. I suspect one of the reasons we do this is because those prominent things are front and center; they are obvious.

Here's what I think. I think it's prudent for these three families to cut back. However, I think cutting back on these suggested categories would be counter-productive and possibly detrimental. Instead, I recommend they find the leaks.....and plug them. Oh, there are always leaks! They have them, you have them, and I have them. Expenses (big or small) that are either redundant or fail to add value to our lives. 

• A subscription for a streaming service that we don't watch. 

• A membership for a gym we don't even use. 

• Extra product that we won't use or will ultimately go bad. 

• A loan payment (plus insurance, maintenance, etc.) for a vehicle rarely driven.

Instead of indiscriminately cutting some of these families' most valuable expenditures, we looked for leaks. Here's what we found: One family found $300 of monthly leakage, another found $650, and the third found $1,700!!!

With very little effort, these families were able to recoup this cashflow in their monthly budget, which reduced their financial tension. It also prevented them from having to cut back on the things they value most. Huge wins!

Plugging the leaks is so powerful! Maybe you have some leaks. I suspect you do. I challenge you to find them, plug them, and use that found money for things that truly add value to your life!

Never Taking These For Granted

Last night, I had the honor of attending a friend's wedding. He's a young man I met in the Boundary Waters, and our friendship quickly grew. There's more to say about that relationship in a future post, but I want to focus on the wedding. 

During the ceremony, the pastor made a really insightful point. He directed the bride and groom to look into the audience, reminding them that this collection of individuals comprises all the most important people in their lives. And I was in that room! When the pastor framed it that way, what an incredible honor to be part of such a pivotal day in that couple's journey. 

It's a day and a moment etched in time. Someday, 30 years from now, when they celebrate their 30th anniversary, I'll reflect on being part of their beginning. And I hope I’m still a meaningful part of their life (and vice versa). To be valued and trusted to the extent I get to be part of their biggest day.....amazing! I never take that for granted. These are the types of things that cannot be purchased. No amount of money can create them. They are priceless moments that can only be the product of investing in relationships.

I’m so excited for the new bride and groom, and I had an absolute blast catching up with a few friends I haven’t seen in a long time. What a night!

In a life filled with so much pain, suffering, and turmoil, these little moments of joy and celebration are worth memorializing. They are worth cherishing. They are worth holding onto. 

Short and sweet today! Here's my challenge for you. Find the moments to cherish. Seek them out. Create them if you can. Don't take them for granted. Savor them. Etch them into your memory. Embrace them for the beauty they bring to your life.