“It IS Possible”

I recently received the most beautiful message from a stranger: "It IS Possible."

For a while, that's the only message I saw. You can probably guess the bewilderment I felt when I received that message from a total stranger. Luckily, another message followed. It was from a 40-something in England. He is married with two young teens. He explained that he's lived his entire career with the mindset that his primary objective is to provide as much income (and build as much wealth) as possible, and then retire as soon as possible. He was living a normal life, but it felt increasingly intolerable.

Then, he found our Meaning Over Money podcast. He said he connected with some of the stories we shared but thought our meaning over money principles sounded absurd (especially from Americans, whom he stereotypes as materialistic and money-hungry). However, the more he listened, the more he wondered if there was, in fact, a better life for him and his family.

Eventually, he did something drastic. He and his wife took a sharp turn, and both made drastic career shifts. "It was the scariest thing we've ever done. Still is." They elected to buck culture's narrative about work, money, and wealth to pursue something better. Fast forward more than a year, he said their lives have been transformed. They make a little less money, care much less about building wealth, and are leaning hard into work that matters. They also shared how their kids have noticed a shift in their attitudes, demeanor, and marriage. I loved that part, and I'm so grateful they took the time to share this amazing story with me! It IS possible!

Multiple times per week, I'm told that my ideas are far-fetched, naive, impractical, and/or dangerous. While I don't love these comments, I get it. The entire premise of living a meaning over money life is kinda crazy, and significantly counter-cultural. It's a tough pill to swallow to consider these principles may actually produce a rich and meaningful life. Deciding to jump off the hamster wheel of more is one of the scariest things ever. Even if you feel confident in that decision, nearly every area of life will make you doubt yourself. Friends, family, co-workers, movies, music, TV.....everything! I understand the odds are stacked against us here. So when someone reaches out to communicate their recent pursuit of a different kind of life, I celebrate. Just one of those messages can drown out 500 criticisms.

It IS possible to live a rich and meaningful life where you wake up each morning excited about what you're about to do—not because it's fun, but because it matters. A life that you aren't in a hurry to retire from.

If you're living such a life today, this is my virtual fist bump to you. You've already won. I don't care how much money you make, what your title is, or how wealthy you are. You won! If this isn't you, please know it IS possible.

Can’t Have the Good Without the Bad

Do you ever wish you could just wave a magic wand and get rid of all the junk that's bringing you down? The frustrations, pain, suffering, failures, and setbacks. Life would be so much easier if we could just remove the crap. Unfortunately, it's a package deal. We HAVE to take the bad with the good. It's all part of the deal. To take it a step further, we can't have the good without the bad. Without the bad, the good isn't good. The challenge is what makes the good so much sweeter. 

If you've been following along this week, we've recently had a mess of a time with Northern Vessel. The second car crash into our shop in nine months is a gut punch like no other. Further, the story behind what actually happened is getting weirder and more unsavory as the pieces come together. I still can't share details, but I will as soon as we're able. Needless to say, we're faced with monumental challenges as we work to rebuild our space, serve our customers, and ensure our team is healthy and taken care of. A big piece of me wishes I could wave my magic wand and just undo this part of our life. 

On the flip side, the good is so good. We're in a rhythm that's hard to explain. Yes, the closure of our shop hurts. We've only two months removed from having reconstruction completed from the last crash. We're finally into the groove we've always wanted......then crash! However, we aren't defined by our setbacks and the incident that recently occurred. We've been able to fulfill our obligations to LifeTime Fitness, which carries our products in the Des Moines location. Yesterday was also our weekly farmer's market. We've spent the past three weeks growing, learning, and tweaking, culminating in yesterday's affair. After watching it all beautifully come together, we sold 100 gallons of our signature oat milk cold brew latte in just over four hours. We ran out of product with about 40 minutes remaining in the market. More than 1,200 people. Nearly 5 coffees a minute for 4+ hours. The team was locked in, the lines flowed, and the vibe was right. 

Despite all the pain and suffering, it was beautiful. We can't have the good without the bad. It's a package deal. As I've spent my last week working through so many challenges in my life and businesses, I repeatedly wanted to wave my magic wand. But then, I catch myself. These are the challenges that make it all worth it. 

I think back to the $236,000 of debt I used to have. That was painful, but the beauty of working through it was so satisfying. 

I think back to my 20-year career and all the ups and downs. Some of it was painful, but that only adds to the beauty of where it's come. 

I think about all my clients who are fighting their own battles. I don't want to wave my magic wand to make their struggles go away. Doing so would rob them of the beauty of what's about to happen. 

We can't have the good without the bad. 

A Prescription For Generosity

The last few days have been quite stressful on my end. Between work obligations, travel, pain experienced by people I care about, our recent NV debacle (again), and sickness, my stress level is at 100. Needless to say, I was a mess yesterday. There's a partial cure for this type of stress, though: Generosity! Knowing I was hurting, I did exactly what I knew would help alleviate what ails me. I looked for opportunities to be generous. 

Throughout the day, I stumbled upon two opportunities to bless someone. Each was fun. Each made a difference (I hope). Each helped make me feel better. I've spent years thinking about why generosity oddly helps alleviate all sorts of troubles. Here's what I've come up with:

• When we give, we turn our focus from ourselves to someone else. 

• Science has proven that giving makes us happy.

• When we give, it's a subconscious signal that we have enough....and we'll be ok.

• Giving is a reminder of a broader calling.

No, my problems didn't magically go away. As I'm writing this, I'm still stuck with the same set of circumstances. Nothing is fixed. However, I feel peace and calm. I feel content. I see the bigger picture. It's a mess, but a purposeful mess. 

Give generosity a try. This is my formal prescription for you. When you're having a sucky day, find an opportunity to be generous. When you're stressed or overwhelmed, give. When it all feels like too much, take a moment to serve someone else. It makes a difference. 

Today is a new day! I hope it's better for me, and I hope it's better for you, too. Either way, it's also an amazing opportunity to bless someone. Keep your eyes open and your purpose clear. Have a great day!

Deja Vu, But the Worst Kind

After publishing the recent "see it through their eyes" post, I knew today's post would be about my recent Chicago Cubs game experience. The subject is deja vu, correlating Finn and Pax's first Cubs game with my own when I was their age. It was going to be a joyful, sentimental, and light-hearted piece. However, today's post is about a different kind of deja vu. 

Yesterday, shortly after publishing the blog, I received terrible news. It felt like a bad dream—deja vu, but the worst kind. A group of people stole a car and barrelled into our Northern Vessel storefront.....again. As a refresher, this exact situation played out in August 2023. Four people were struck by the car; one was moderately injured, and three mildly so. It was a horrific scene, but we're glad no lives were lost. We re-opened a few days later, but it took over seven months to fully repair the damage. We've been at full strength for the last two months, and then yesterday happened. 

I won't go into details, as the police are still investigating, but it's not a pretty story. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, but the damage was severe. We again face a potentially long road to recovery. 

There is a silver lining, though. There will be another form of deja vu present. Just like last time, we will approach the situation with optimism, gratitude, and perseverance. We will come out of it stronger, more resilient, and as unified as ever. This is a perfect representation of life. It's beautiful, but will surely be met with challenges, pain, and trials. It's not supposed to be easy, and that is what makes it all the more fulfilling. 

We're grateful to serve those we serve, and we won't lose sight of our calling. It's all part of the story, even if it's the worst kind of deja vu. 

Stay safe, stay strong, and keep moving forward. 

Seeing It (Again) Through Their Eyes

Yesterday, our family embarked on our first post-school summer trip: Chicago! Having grown up not far west of Chicago, it's a city I've been to countless times. Though I love it, it doesn't have a "new" feeling anymore. However, it's Finn and Pax's first-ever time in Chicago, and it's been a real treat so far. Sensory overload at its finest. We grabbed some Chicago-style pizza, hit a massive candy store, and walked alongside Michigan Avenue and the river. Not too shabby for our first few hours in the city.

There's something different about being present for other people's first-time experiences, especially kids. It's almost like we get to experience it for the first time again. I felt like a little kid showing off my favorite toy. It was pure joy to show the boys a city that's been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

We're staying downtown, making a pilgrimage to Wrigley, catching a Blue Man Group show, scoping out The Bean, and spending some time at the Museum of Science and Industry. We'll have Italian Beefs, hot dogs, and probably enough ice cream to make President Biden blush. It won't be an inexpensive trip, but man, we'll be investing in memories. 

I've had many profoundly memorable experiences throughout my life. Seeing the Great Wall, exploring the Mongolian wilderness, wandering the streets of Hong Kong, country-hopping the Middle East, and adventuring through Europe. All of these memories are special to me. But there's nothing more special than experiencing something through another's eyes. It's the power of community and shared experiences. It's the bonding that happens. An unspeakable connection that we know will last a lifetime. 

Investing in memories is an amazing endeavor, but doing it alongside people we care about ratchets it up to a whole new level. I made my first trip to Wrigley when I was seven years old, then proceeded to visit it at least one time per year for the next 20 years. It holds a special place in my heart. Tonight, I get to take my own seven-year-olds to their first game at Wrigley. I can't wait to invest in those memories and watch the game through their eyes. It may be my 100th trip to Wrigley, but it might as well be my first.

Parable of the Corncobs

Today's post is courtesy of blog reader Bobbi. Once in a while, Bobbi will bless me with an e-mail in reply to my daily posts. Sometimes she challenges me. Sometimes she encourages me. Sometimes she provides ideas. Recently, she shared a story that my Stepping Over Quarters post reminded her of. 

Bobbi's mom talks about how when she was growing up, they used to throw whole cobs of corn into the feedlot for the cattle. After the cattle had grazed the corn, the kids were responsible for picking up the bare cobs for use as fuel to heat the house during winter. Bobbi's mother explains that her strategy was to seek out the best cobs she could find. Her mother's response: "Don't step over cobs looking for cobs." In other words, don't disregard what's right in front of you in pursuit of what's in the future. 

That's beautiful, isn't it!?!? Man, I can't even tell you how many cobs I've stepped over in my pursuit of cobs. It's so easy to miss what's right in front of us. The future is full of wonder, optimism, and possibilities......but so is the present! If all we do is look ahead, we miss the beauty and meaning of what's right in front of us. 

Guilty as charged. You can take me to my cell, officer. How convicting. I can proudly say I've become much better in this area in the past several years, but I can still easily fall into this trap. I can expressly point out days I failed to embrace the moment, all because I was fixated on the days ahead. I regret that. Unfortunately, I can't get any do-overs. Fortunately, I can learn from my mistakes and hopefully avoid similar outcomes in the future. 

Here's my challenge today. Don't step over cobs looking for cobs. Embrace the present. Squeeze every ounce of meaning from it. Enjoy it for what it is. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. When it comes, we can enjoy that, too. 

Bobbi got me again, and today, I hope she gets you, too. Enjoy those cobs!

What Does Popcorn Smell Like?

Fun Fact: I don't have a sense of smell. I never have. It's hard to explain what that’s like. My brain can't even comprehend the basics of it. Here's an example:

Sarah: "This popcorn smells amazing!"

Me: "What does popcorn smell like?"

Sarah: "Like popcorn!"

Me: "But what does that smell like?"

Sarah: "Like warm butter." 

Me: "What does warm butter smell like?"

Sarah: "Like warm butter." 

Me: ..........

While Sarah did a terrible job explaining this concept to me, there was nothing she could have said for me to comprehend it. I don't know what I don't know, and no mere words will fill that gap for me. 

So many of the meaning over money principles are similar: obsessively pursuing work that matters, living without debt, experiences over things, giving sacrificially, among others. These concepts are easy to criticize and hard to internalize. Just like the smell of popcorn is so obvious to Sarah (and incomprehensible to me), the meaning over money concepts are obvious to me and many others (and incomprehensible to the majority of society). 

I'm not sure I'll ever experience the sensation of smell. It feels like a closed door that will never open. I don't know what I'm missing, to be honest. 

On the flip side, the door to meaning is open for all. Most people may not know what they are missing, but that's where we come in. We have the opportunity to live it out in front of people's eyes. Each day, we can show the world what it looks like to pursue meaning and take the road less traveled. It's going to look weird. It may get criticized. People may even laugh at us. Ultimately, it's worth it, and if we're lucky, it might inspire others to pursue it in their own journey. 

So Ridiculous That It’s Perfect

I just received the most random message from a friend. She shared that her partner just purchased her the most ridiculous Mother's Day gift ever imagined. She is correct. I can, in fact, confirm it's the most outlandish gift I've ever witnessed. In her message was a tongue-in-cheek question about whether this gift was a "smart financial decision." 

Of course this purchase wasn't a smart financial decision. After all, it's peak ridiculous. The obvious answer to her question is, "No," this wasn't a good financial decision. It was an absolute waste of money. It was foolish. It was irresponsible. It was non-sensical. .......

.......It was perfect! Through the lens of investing in mission and memories, he hit the nail on the head with this gift. Yes, it was ridiculous. So much so that she took time out of her day to message me about it. It's truly the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Yet, it was perfect. Here was my message to her:

"This is a brilliant move. The two most important things to invest in are mission and memories. And something tells me you will remember this forever. Amazing investment!"

This is why it's so important to stop obsessing about needs vs. wants. Instead, we should look through the lens of value and meaning. Does it add value? If so, it's probably a worthwhile purchase. Does it provide meaning? If so, it's probably a worthwhile purchase. Mission and memories usually fit the bill. Value, value, value. Meaning, meaning, meaning. 

Yes, my friend received the most ridiculous gift ever created. Yes, it was perfect. She will remember it forever. Heck, I may remember it forever. Do something outlandish today. Be wasteful. Be irresponsible. Make a decision that makes you scratch your head. Do something that makes other people roll their eyes. Get labeled as the weirdo. But for heaven's sake, invest in mission and memories. You won't regret it, and neither will those in your orbit. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Juicing Meaning With Tradition

Today’s post is brought to you from a tent in the middle of nowhere, hacked out on my phone. I’m on a camping trip with the boys, and we are having a blast.

As I always say, we need to invest in memories. Memories are the one thing we can buy that won’t one day end up in a landfill. Memories are forever. Memories bond us. Memories are intertwined with meaning.

There is one way to juice up memories, though: when they are shrouded in tradition. This camping trip, for example, is a Shelton family tradition. It’s the fifth consecutive year we’ve done it, beginning when the boys were just three. We anticipate it each year. The boys talk about it the months leading up to it. They share stories of past trips and plan all the activities they want to do on the upcoming trip. Just last night, we rode horses, shot BB guns, ate too much food (including s’mores, of course), and played soccer. It was a blast.

Camping trips are always fun, but traditional camping trips are juiced up. There’s something extra special about them. I hope one day my kids tell their kids stories about this tradition. Heck, maybe they will even be inspired to create their own traditions when they become parents.

Here’s the thing about traditions. They don’t need to be elaborate, expensive, or over the top. We have take-out pizza and watch a movie every Friday night. That’s a pretty simple one, but it’s impactful. It becomes part of our family’s rhythm. It creates anticipation and excitement. It juices the memories.

As my kids get older, it’s fun to let them help craft the traditions. They have ownership. They have creative liberties. Through it all, it’s about investing in memories, and perhaps juicing them up.

Traditions + Memories = Extra Meaning

What are some of your family’s traditions?

The Myth of Job Security

One of the biggest knocks against freelancing, entrepreneurship, self-employment, contract work, and business ownership is that you don't have "job security." This is indeed true. Most people who fit into this camp don't have job security. 

Implied in this "no job security" sentiment is a (false) belief people with traditional employment do have job security. I'm sad to report that they don't. I believe this is a massive and destructive myth in our culture. Every week, I speak with people who had "job security" and have recently lost their jobs. It's always sad, and I have tremendous empathy for them. I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone. But it happens! There's no such thing as job security! It may feel like it along the way, but when push comes to shove, there isn't.

Please don't hear me demeaning traditional employment. I'm a big believer in it.....just not because it seemingly offers "job security." Work has meaning. Jobs have meaning. All work has meaning....including traditional W-2 jobs (which I had for 15 years, by the way!). 

Rather, I think we put ourselves at risk when we believe we have job security:

• We can let our guard down and not be financially prepared for the incomprehensible scenario in which we lose our jobs. We might not have an adequate emergency fund as a back-stop.

• We can get complacent and stop growing in our skills.

• We don't bother to diversify our finances. Instead, we keep all our income eggs in one basket.

• We don't contemplate backup plans for alternative jobs/careers.

• We might ignore our passion, calling, and desire to do something different with less "job security." In other words, we let our desire for job security keep us in a place we aren't supposed to be. 

Indeed, I don't have job security. There's zero promise that my family will make enough money to survive next month. That's scary! Every month is an adventure, and I just hope I can piece it together well enough to make ends meet. My business's income is made up of dozens of smaller pieces. If I put the pieces together, I eat. If I don't, then I guess we starve. But the burden is on me to figure it out.

You know what's scarier? The reality that someone else can make one simple decision and my job is gone tomorrow. A wave of the magic wand.....poof, gone! That's the reality so many people are dealing with right now. We wake up in the morning enjoying our job security, then go to bed unemployed.....at the snap of one's fingers. 

I don't write this to make people fearful. I don't want that. Living in fear isn't a life of meaning. Instead, I want people to reckon with the reality there's really no such thing as job security. And if that's true, would you still make the same job decision? In other words, would you choose a different path if your job isn't secure anyway? Food for thought.  

Planned Impulsiveness

One of my favorite Meaning Over Money podcast episodes is called Planned Impulsiveness. It was our fifth episode, released more than three years ago. Unfortunately, Apple lost our first 15 episodes like my kids lose their shoes. Other platforms managed to keep track of them, though. Despite being missing from Apple for over two years, it's one of the ten most downloaded episodes we've ever had. You can find it HERE.

The premise is simple. Some people are planners, and some people are impulsive. Both have pros and cons, but impulsive people are known for self-sabotage and occasional (or frequent!) irresponsibility. I'm oddly wired for both. I'm very impulsive, but I'm also a planner. Along my financial journey, I realized I needed to harness my impulsivity and turn the cons into pros. 

This is where the structure comes in. Travel is a great example. I have a separate bank account specifically for travel. Each month, we budget approximately $1,000 for it. We may not travel every month, but we treat it as an expense. That $1,000 physically gets moved from our primary checking account and into our travel fund. The money slowly builds over time. Then, when it's time to travel, we travel. Sometimes, the travel is planned well in advance, and sometimes, it's more impulsive. In either scenario, the money is there, just waiting to be spent on travel. 

I'll share my favorite (least favorite) story of my life. In the summer of 2016, Sarah and I were about to become parents. After a long adoption journey, we received word that our son was born. We went to bed with anticipation, excited to meet our little man the following day. As I was wrapping up a few things at work the following morning before getting on the road, I received a phone call. I immediately knew something was wrong. The following 30 seconds were the worst of my life, as I found out we lost our son. 

Needless to say, the subsequent days were absolutely miserable in our house. Sarah was an absolute wreck, and I wasn't in a great position to hold her up. A few nights later, she told me she wanted to leave. Somewhere far, far away from our life. At midnight, I booked flights to Cancun and reserved a hotel room. We packed a few bags, took a nap, and drove to the airport five hours later. We spent the week crying, mourning, and eating our weight's worth of chips and salsa. It was terrible, but it was beautiful. It was impulsive, but it was planned. I'll always be grateful for that sad but memorable week with Sarah. 

One of my clients recently had their first planned impulsiveness moment. They've been intentionally budgeting and using their travel sinking fund since December. Then, it happened! A significant event suddenly popped up, and they wanted to be there. In mere hours, they made arrangements and jumped on a plane. It was impulsive, but it was planned. Beautiful! They will remember that forever. 

Be impulsive! Savor life. Make memories. But make it planned impulsiveness. 

Pondering Things About Things

I have a Notes file on my phone called "Blog." Its purpose is simple. As I go about my day, anything and everything that inspires or triggers me gets jotted into this file. There are hundreds of ideas, just waiting to be turned into a blog or a podcast. While browsing my random notes this morning, one line stood out. It's a quote that reads, "The more things we have, the more time we spend on things." To be perfectly honest, I have zero recall about where I heard this or who said it. But it smacks!

When I reflect on my life and the decisions I've made, I can't help but think how true this quote is. I'm not going to share any of my specific examples, as I want you to use your imagination and consider your own past decisions. Let me set the table. You just purchased a nice thing. You traded your hard-earned money for this thing. It has value, and you want to protect this value. Therefore, you're going to spend time and attention ensuring this thing remains safe and well taken care of. 

Also, if it's a cool or fun thing, it's going to perpetually occupy space in your mind. Depending on what type of thing it is, you may also carve time out of your days to use and/or enjoy said thing. 

You'll maybe need to invest more time and money to maintain and care for it. You also need space to store it. Whether big or small, things take up some volume of space. Big things obviously take up more space, but never underestimate the compounding space needs of many small things. This may cause you to want/need a bigger residence, which creates an entirely new level of time and financial consumption. 

On a related note, your things may also inhibit your ability to travel or live with flexibility. You might get nervous to leave your things, or your things make you too comfortable to want to leave. Therefore, things can act as an invisible anchor, locking us into place. Worse, your desire to keep your things (and accumulate more of them) may require you to remain in a job that we tolerate at best, and despise at worst. The item may be the gateway drug to the next item, and the process repeats. 

"The more things we have, the more time we spend on things." I don't know if I'm thinking through this correctly, but this is how I'm processing it today. Things can have a scary pull on our lives, and our souls. I've fallen into that trap more times than I'd like to admit. I can be better. I want to be better. I need to be better. Though I can't prove it, I believe, to my core, that relinquishing our emotional ties to things (and the power they have over us) is one of the paths to a meaningful life. Or, in the simpler and wiser words of my friend Gary Hoag, just "Invest in mission and memories."

I Met a Weird Guy

I met a guy last week. I had a blast spending time with him. He shared about his journey, his expertise, his passions, and his business. He is a sincere, thoughtful, and generous person. He's also really weird. Yeah, you heard that right. He's a really weird guy. 

Now, before you get upset with me publicly insulting a grown man in front of thousands of people, some context is in order. He's in his early 50s, a seasoned veteran in his field. His most recent position was CEO for a reputable firm. According to conventional wisdom and our prevailing culture, he could do some consulting work for a few years as he coasts toward an early retirement. The table is set for a comfortable and short end to his accomplished career. He could ride off into the sunset and enjoy a life of leisure that everyone probably tells him he deserves. 

Instead, however, he's starting over. He's entering into arguably the most challenging season of his career. He's creating something new from scratch. It's a secular company, but tied closely to his faith. There's a powerful mission tied to it, and if it goes even marginally well, many lives will be impacted. He's uncomfortable, nervous, uncertain, and totally out of his element.....and he's loving every second of it. When he talks about it, his eyes light up, and he has the energy of a 28-year-old.

The world says to race to the finish line, and he's over here starting a new race. 

The world says to stay comfortable, and he just threw that word out the window. 

The world says to coast, and he's pushing his foot on the accelerator. 

The world says he should "actually enjoy his life," and he's doing just that—except enjoying life doesn't mean living a life of leisure. Instead, it means waking up each morning with meaning and purpose. From what he told me, I suspect he's enjoying life more now than ever—not because his life is fun, but because it matters (a ton!). 

The world says to be normal, and he's out there being a complete weirdo. So yeah, I met a weird guy last week. He's the kind of guy who reminds me why I do what I do. He's living a life that reminds me there's an army of people taking the road less traveled. Pursuing work that matters. Throwing comfort out the window. Following a greater calling. Meaning over money. I love my new weird friend!

The Magic Wand of Change

Many years ago, I painfully reflected on some of my choices. My life felt like a graveyard of mistakes, regrets, and missed opportunities. I suspect people around me generally looked at me as a successful person, but I carried a lot of baggage from the past. Looking at my rearview mirror of brokenness, I tried to imagine how much better off I'd be had I just done things differently.

I remember asking myself, "What would I do if I could wave my magic wand and get a do-over?" I obviously didn't have a Delorian, so going back in time wasn't an option (plus it would have been a bummer to destroy the space-time continum.....Doc Brown warned me of such shenanigans).

Since time travel was off the table, I decided to do the next best thing. I took an inventory of my biggest regrets from the past, assessed what I would have done differently, and decided to just do that now.

I deeply regretted my $236,000 of debt and desperately wished I hadn't done that. So we decided to pay it off. It forever changed our lives.

I deeply regretted buying an expensive car with debt. So we decided we would never again buy a car with debt again. It forever changed our lives.

I always wished I could be a podcaster. So I decided to become a podcaster.

I always wanted to live a life where I would wake up every day excited for what was to come. So I decided to leave my prior career and take a 90% pay cut to start over. That was a hard one.....really hard.

We always wanted to live a more walkable, transient life. So we decided to sell our house, rent a tiny townhome in a walkable part of town, and split our time between Iowa and Asia. This was our biggest magic wand decision, but also the biggest bust. As we were buying plane tickets and making housing arrangements for our first 3-month stint in Asia, COVID hit and ruined everything. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

These magic wands are funny. They don't rewrite history, but they do allow us the opportunity to author a different story for our future. It's not free, and it's not easy, but it is worth it. I wish it were as simple as rubbing the lamp and making a wish, but the truth is it takes a lot of fortitude and commitment to see it through. It's brutal....and beautiful.

My challenge to you today, if you're so inclined to accept it, is to ask yourself one simple question: "What would I do if I could wave my magic wand and get a do-over?" Take stock of your answers. Unfortunately, you can't rewrite the past, but you are the author of a story that has yet to be written. What story will you write? Perhaps a change may be in order. Maybe it's time to wave that wand.

The Eyes Never Lie

I have a little life hack for you today. If you ever want to know how someone feels about their work, there are two occasions when you can find out: while they are working, or talking about their work. And here's the trick. Look at their eyes. It's in their eyes. You can see it, almost feel it.

We humans have many ways to cover up what's really happening behind the curtain. We can mask the truth with our words, our voice's tone or pitch, or even our gestures. But the eyes never lie.

In my prior career, I used this trick when meeting clients, colleagues, interviewees, vendors, or prospective clients for the first time. The eyes were a dead giveaway, and based on that read, it would influence how I engage with them. Not in a bad way, per se, but I wanted to meet them where they were at. In my current work, it helps me gauge someone's work/life happiness and satisfaction. If someone is fulfilled and content in their work, it's a much different conversation than if they despise or merely tolerate their job.

This is also a useful tool when meandering about life. Engaging with a restaurant server, talking to your doctor or mechanic, or discussing something with your children's teachers. As specific examples, I recently had drastically opposite experiences in the past week. I distinctly remember meeting a young man. He was working a job that's universally disrespected and looked down upon. It's not the kind of job our parents dream of for us. However, his eyes absolutely lit up. I could tell he was engaged and full of life. It was practically contagious. On the flip side, I spent some time with an uber-successful businessman. He has more wealth and status than most of us will ever entertain. His eyes told a different, sobering story. The moment I asked him about his work, something changed. It was a visceral shift. I could see a deep discontent or uneasiness. The eyes never lie.

Here's my question for you today. What do your eyes say about you? Sure, we can tell people we're "doing great," put a smile on our face, and even raise the pitch of our voice by an octave, but what do your eyes say? Once in a while, I'll look in the mirror and not like what I see. That's the moment I know a change is needed. Maybe some of you are in the same boat. I hope you're brave enough to act on that instinct. It will probably be hard, but it will certainly be worth it.

“You’re Offensive, Travis!”

Some days, when I hit "publish" on a particular topic, I know people will immediately hit "unsubscribe." It used to bother me, but I'm coming to terms with the reality this blog isn't for everyone. And even if it is, it might not be forever. No matter what, I'm grateful for each person who decides to make this part of their day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

The other day, however, I published an article I was not expecting to be controversial. It was about people who absolutely love their lives, and how they got there. I personally thought the piece was uplifting and encouraging, yet a wave of people unsubscribed. I was confused, and the self-talk started to creep in. Does my writing suck? Am I not funny enough? Or witty enough? Are my ideas not insightful? Are these topics not valuable to people? Are they too long? Too short? 

I had some suspicions about why people might have unsubscribed that day, but with all the self-talk polluting my brain, I decided to seek outside counsel. I contacted a few friends and asked for their perspectives. The first person wrote back with the following sentence:

"That post was offensive!"

Wait, what?!?! He went on to explain that my entire post was about how living one's dream life does exist, and if that's true, it's up to each of us to pursue it—or not. "That's an offensive idea." He pointed out that this idea (and others I discuss on the blog) is culturally and societally challenging. It forces us to look in the mirror and reckon with our own journey. If our dream life exists, and we're not currently living it, the burden of decisions and consequences falls on the shoulders of the person staring at us in the mirror. "That's offensive!" 

He then listed out my various offenses:

• "Telling people they should find meaning in their work."

• "Showing people they don't have to use debt. Especially your take on credit cards."

• "Encouraging everyone to use a budget, even if they make a lot of money."

• "Saying that money won't make them happy."

• "It's ok to spend money on things you don't need."

• "Continually telling people they should give more. Then telling them they should give even more."

• "Every time you mention your huge pay cut when leaving your past career. This one makes me uncomfortable every time."

• "Any time you tell people to openly share their ideas with the world."

He pretty much just summed up my blog, my heart, and my mission. Uh oh, where is he going with this?

"You're offensive, Travis. Keep being offensive. We need it."

I think he makes a good point. Living counter-culturally can come across as offensive to some. Even when well-intentioned and sincere, pursuing a different path from the majority looks weird. Many of you regularly share your meaning over money stories, and the reactions you receive from others could certainly be referred to as "offended.” That tells me you’re on the right track - keep it up!

I hope you have a meaningful and offensive day!

Meaning By Subtraction

In a recent post, I discussed the many things in my life that add value but don't cost an arm and a leg. I was trying to make the overarching point that we don't need to have or spend boatloads of money to live a meaningful and enjoyable life. 

Upon reading this post, many of you spent time inventorying your own list of things that add value to your life and sent them to me! I loved reading your lists. There were some overlaps with my list, but by and large, your lists were uniquely unique. There are so many fun and thoughtful things! This little exercise perfectly highlights how everyone has different values, and should behave with our money accordingly.

However, I noticed something! My list included all the things I pay to have/do that add value to my life. Many of you included things you pay to NOT have/do. Here are a few examples:

• "$80 to have my house cleaned"

• "Hiring someone to cut my lawn - $35 per week"

• "I occassionally pay for someone to come to my house to cook dinner for our family"

• "Paying $30 for someone else to shovel my drive while I relax with a hot coffee by the cozy fireplace."

• "Paying to have my groceries delivered. I hate grocery shopping!"

It's interesting how these items fall into the bucket of adding joy and value to people's lives. They aren't fun. They aren't getting something or creating an experience or memory. Rather, these items create time. Time is money, as they say. Or, through the lens of meaning, time is peace, margin, and freedom to pursue other things. So while these specific financial investments may not provide meaning and joy, they allow more time for the things that do (while possibly avoiding tasks that suck meaning and enjoyment from their lives). 

I love the depth of this self-reflection exercise. If you haven't already done so, I encourage you to take an inventory of all the things that add value, meaning, and enjoyment to your life, paying special attention to the free or inexpensive ones. Once you have this list formulated, lean into it. Intentionally add them to your budget and your schedule. Double down on these little, meaning-filled nuggets of value. 

Life is much more fun when we invest in the little things that brighten our day. Keep investing. They are worth their weight in gold, but luckily, they don't have to be as expensive!

Speaking of meaning-filled nuggets, I watch this live performance of Twenty One Pilots’ Holding On To You whenever I need a little pick-me-up! It’s free, and it’s life-giving stuff for me. Maybe you’ll enjoy it, too.

The Subway Roulette of Life

Confession: I'm obsessed with subways. As a kid who grew up in a small farm town, the mere idea of a subway blew my mind. We board a secret train and are violently propelled through a hidden underground tunnel through a labyrinth of routes, intersections, and stations. It mesmerized me then….and still does!

However, it's what happens next that most fascinated me. After the train stops, we walk up a set of stairs and enter an entirely new world. We descend from one world, and ascend into a completely different one. New sights, new people, new scenery, new vibe. Still to this day, I get a euphoric feeling when walking out of a subway station.

New York, Hong Kong, London, Prague, Paris, and Beijing. I've spent meaningful time on all these systems, and I've felt like a little kid each time. Sometimes, I'll hop into a subway tunnel and pick a destination station at random just so I can be surprised by whatever I find at the top of the stairs. Some of the best experiences, meals, and memories are tied to a little game I like to call Subway Roulette. It's a choose-your-own-adventure game, but we don't really know what we're choosing until we arrive.

First time boarding the Hong Kong subway with our dear friends, the Hoags & Keungs

Life is the same way! We have so many choices. An infinite number of decisions with an infinite number of possible outcomes. And they are just that: choices. Each day, we have the opportunity to make thousands of decisions that can alter our life. The ball is in our hands.

The scary part, though, is that just like in Subway Roulette, we don't know what's waiting for us on the other side of our decisions. We might have a guess. We can picture it in our head. We can somewhat orient ourselves around the idea. We can even try to shape it just the way we want. However, it's a complete mystery until we get there.

Our parenting journey is a perfect example of this concept. Sarah and I talked about having kids on our first date! Becoming parents was one of the focal points of our relationship. We would start having kids around 30, have 2-3, then be done by 35. We were so naive and foolish! But we set our little plan into motion, not really knowing what was at the top of those stairs. Little did we know that infertility would gut us from the inside out. It was a long and grueling journey.

Five years into our battle to become parents, I remember waking up on my 35th birthday with a deep sadness. So much for my plan! It was a mess....I was a mess....we were a mess. But fast forward just three months, and we were shocked and blessed with the adoption of two little baby boys. "2-3 kids, then be done by 35." Our dream came true.....in the most unexpected way possible. God has a sense of humor.

Life is Subway Roulette. Make the best choices possible, hold on, and embrace what's on the other side of those stairs.

Joyful Bang For the Buck

I had an epiphany last week while cruising around in the new ride. It almost seems illegal to have this much fun driving a car that cost me $9,000 (plus $41/month for insurance). It's been an absolute blast, and I can't wait to find excuses to hop in and get on the road. Sarah needs a gallon of milk? Great! There's a prescription at the drug store ready for pick-up? You bet! One of the kids needs to be dropped off at a friend's house? I got you! 

This entire experience has me thinking about the correlation between money and fun. Or, as many people put it, money and "enjoying life." The narrative is we need money to enjoy life. It's this very narrative that causes millions of Americans to live in a perpetual state of misery so they can afford xyz fun thing. Why? To "enjoy life." I find it tremendously ironic that we'll intentionally live in misery for the privilege of having money to enjoy life. I would argue we should just cut to the chase and live an enjoyable life....period. 

Along those same lines, I've been reflecting on everything in my life that give me joy, happiness, and value. Based on my experience, the best things in life rarely cost much (if anything). I'll share a partial list of mine, and I encourage you to think about yours:

• Pick-up basketball with Pax: Free

• Lego time with Finn: Free

• Netflix time with Sarah: $15/month

• Coffee and a newspaper on a Saturday morning: $3

• A nice glass of bourbon: $4

• Lunch with a friend: $12

• Sunday mornings at church with my people: Free

• A good book: $7 at my local used bookstore

• Engaging with friends on social media: Free

• A walk on a nice spring day: Free

• Publishing our podcast: Free

• Writing this blog: Free

• Listening to Twenty One Pilots music: $15/month

• Listening to podcasts: Free

• A Northern Vessel cortado and donut: $6

• Watching my Cyclones on TV: Free

Each of these things adds tremendous value to my life. I'm grateful for each, and I recognize none have a high financial bar. Sure, I could splurge on a fancy meal, an elaborate trip, or an extravagant purchase. There's nothing wrong with any of these things, but they aren't a prerequisite to living a fun and meaningful life. 

Money doesn't create meaning; meaning creates meaning. Find the little things in life that add value and aggressively invest in them. Don't fall for the lie that we need to spend tons of money to "enjoy life." Instead, simply enjoy life. There's so much to savor and appreciate. Have a wonderful day!

A Leprechaun, a Mermaid, and Loch Ness Walk into a Bar

"I'm living my dream!" 

I've heard this exact phrase from three people in the last two weeks. It's hard to imagine how four simple words can have such profound ripple effects. Considering seven out of ten Americans dislike or hate their job, it's pretty rare to find people who voluntarily say they are living their dream.

Yet, people do it every day—I see them with my own eyes! Unicorns exist, leprechauns are real, mermaids aren't figments of our imagination, Bigfoot is stomping around in remote woods, and the Loch Ness Monster is swimming just below the surface. 

There's a very real and heavy cultural pushback against any narrative suggesting we can successfully pursue meaning over money. It seems so far-fetched. We're told it's impossible to live with deep meaning without going broke, so why even bother? We're encouraged to find something "good enough" and hold onto it for dear life. It could be worse, right? Sure, we might not like our life and our work, but it could suck a whole lot more! Therefore, compromise, lower the bar, and dilute your dreams. This is the message jammed down our throats, day in and day out. 

Yet, I regularly encounter people living it out in the most beautiful and counter-cultural ways. To call these people encouraging would be the understatement of a lifetime. I dare call them heroes. 

I have a new tradition. Every time someone tells me they are living their dream, I ask them a few questions. First, I ask what part(s) of their life they are referring to. What constitutes "living my dream?" It's usually a combination of work, family, friends, and serving (never money). Then, I ask them the juicy question: How?

Today, I want to give you a little glimpse into how these dream livers answer this question. How have they managed to live their dream? Here's what they said:

• Know and believe that our dream life DOES exist.....it IS possible. 

• Define what we truly want.....and why. It's hard to hit a target we can't see. Know what matters.

• Make very intentional decisions. Whether they are small decisions or huge decisions, ensure our choices align with our dreams. "Will this pull me closer or push me further from my vision?"

• Pray about it....and pray for it.

• Watch doors open, watch doors close. When an opportunity doesn't work out, it's not a failure. It just means a door is closing.....and other doors will surely open. 

• Don't be afraid to walk through the doors. The unknown is scary, but regret is scarier. 

• Don't let money dictate our steps. Yes, we must make enough to live, but money isn't the objective. Sometimes, we need to make choices that will (at least temporarily) hurt our finances. Always meaning over money.

• Allow the dream to change as we change. It's not etched in stone, and can be a moving target.

• It probably won't be easy. A dream life is often a hard life.

Are you living your dream life? If not, just know that unicorns ARE real.