The Meaningless Meaning

Do you have any silly little habits, traditions, or activities in your life that don't have much meaning, yet provide a lot of meaning? Here's an example. Last night was the draft for our 12th annual fantasy NBA basketball league. Our 12-person league is comprised of friends, colleagues, and friends and colleagues of friends and colleagues. Some of these people have been my friends for decades, while others I've never actually met in person. This silly little league is a mainstay in my life each year from late October through mid-April.

It's not something we do because of the money. We each pitch in $50 and pay out the top half of the league, but that's just meant to keep people accountable. There's no good reason to participate in this league outside of enjoying basketball and camaraderie with the other league members. That's one of the beautiful things about it. It's a simple and innocent activity in a world that feels anything but simple and innocent.

There's an irony in these types of activities in our lives. There's no meaning to it, yet it produces meaning. These types of opportunities are all around us, but they are easy to miss. In the rigors of life, we often overlook them or avoid them because they seem somewhat pointless. After all, there's no tangible value to them. But we need to look deeper. It's not really about a make-believe sports league where we can live out our wannabe GM life. Instead, it's about community, investing in relationships, sharing experiences with others, and enjoying a sport we've grown up playing and watching. That, in my book, is meaningful.

I think about my friend who collects Star Wars memorabilia. I think about my friends who play in a bowling league. I think about my colleagues who are ritualistic about their weekly trivia night. I think about my client who rebuilds antique guns. I could give dozens more examples of people who get meaning from seemingly meaningless things. These things are unique, quirky, simple, innocent, and oh so meaningful.

What about you? Do you have any meaningless things in your life that actually provide meaning? I'd love to hear your versions of this!

As an aside, the image below is me showing off the amazing team I built in last night's draft. Now you know who to cheer for!

Don’t Wait Alone

Yesterday, our church celebrated its 25th birthday. The service was a series of stories, testimonials, and interviews with people who have been part of our church over the years. Awesome day! Through it all, the concept of family and community kept coming up. This felt fitting, as the people in our church are family to us. We've experienced so much life in the 12 years of being part of our church, which flooded my mind as I sat there.

One particular memory stood out. It's a story that I don't often share. I had an inkling to write about it, but I was unsure. Then, something happened. Or rather, someone happened. My friend Suzanne was on stage sharing about her journey. She ended her story with three powerful words: "Don't wait alone."

---

Sarah and I started trying to have a child when we were right around 30. We had been married for a few years at that point. Those first few years of marriage were spent traveling, paying off debt, enjoying being together, and learning how to be husband and wife. Then, the day came when we knew it was time to have a child. It's a pretty simple process, or so my fifth-grade science class taught me. Our reality was anything but simple.

After about nine unsuccessful months, we started getting worried. That began a brutal series of medical consultations, tests, procedures, and suffering. We were in our early 30s, facing a fork in the road. The fork wasn't medical...it was community. We were surrounded by countless people who loved us dearly, yet we were suffering in silence. This was our fork. We could either a) continue to bear this weight alone (while people would likely talk behind our back), or b) allow others to carry some of this weight and be there to support us. We chose the latter. We chose transparency.

What came from that experience was absolutely life-changing. We were in the midst of the most painful season of our lives, yet experiencing the beauty of true community. We suffered, but we weren't alone. Every step of the way, people were there to pick us up when we couldn't.

One of the most powerful moments of my life was sitting through service on Father's Day, just two days after losing a child that would have made me a dad. It was arguably the worst day of my life. I could have stayed home and hid, but I needed my church family.

Family cuts both ways. On the one hand, they are there to mourn with you, but on the other hand, they are there to celebrate with you, too. Just four months later, we became parents to two beautiful baby boys. Our church family was right beside us, celebrating like it was their own. I couldn't believe how happy everyone was. It was almost like these children were theirs......and in a way, they were. It's a true love I hope my kids someday recognize.

"Don't wait alone." You got that so right, Suzanne.

Today is the 7-year anniversary of bringing those two little 4-week-olds home. It’s typically called “gotcha day” in the adoption world, but we just call it the day we became a family. We will celebrate by sharing pictures, videos, and stories with the boys. Oh yeah, and maybe some treats. Below is the first photo taken after bringing the kids home on that crisp October 23rd morning.

The Sunday Scaries

Happy Sunday! Depending on what time of day you're reading this, your mood could be vastly different. Studies show that 4PM on Sunday is the most depressing hour of the week. The fun weekend is almost complete, and now our brain is shifting its attention to tomorrow. And considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job, the mere thought of Monday makes most people cringe. Some refer to it as the Sunday Scaries.

Whether we know about the 4PM on Sunday statistic or not, we know about the Sunday Scaries. It's all around us. We either feel it, know someone close to us who feels it, or see it manifest in our culture. The concept that Monday sucks is ubiquitous in our society. It leaks out through our cultural pores. Movies, music, TV, social media. Dread and Mondays go together like peanut butter and jelly. I often think about the song, Migraine, by Twenty One Pilots. Check out this verse:

Thank God it's Friday, 'cause Fridays will always

be better than Sundays, 'cause Sundays are my suicide days.

I don't know why they always seem so dismal.

Thunderstorms, clouds, snow, and a slight drizzle.

The Sunday Scaries stick with us, too. I was talking to a friend last night when she made a specific reference to her Sunday Scaries. Hers are not caused by what she will do on Monday, but rather what she used to do on Mondays decades ago. That's right. She used to dread Mondays so much that it's tainted the mere idea of Mondays decades later. That's how engrained the Sunday Scaries can be.....almost like it gets into our blood.

Here's the good news. We CAN reverse this curse. If 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job, that means 30% like or love their job. And if they do, so can you! I hope you get to a point in life where Monday is your favorite day of the week. A life where weekends are fun, but Mondays are full of promise, meaning, and impact. That reality does exist. I promise you that.

However, there's a catch. There's always a catch. In order to attain it, we typically must stop pursuing more. More money, more stuff, and more status. It doesn't mean we'll be poor or have little; rather, it means we're chasing after something different....something better. Work that matters.

I have a memory seared into my brain. I was having a beer with a friend one Sunday afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and we were enjoying a cold drink on a patio. All the while, he looked miserable. His eyes looked tired, borderline lifeless. He was suffering from the Sunday Scaries. I asked him point blank if all his stuff and bank accounts were worth it. He half-heartedly nodded his head yes, but he looked unsure. Fast forward many years, and he still has that same look in his eyes.

Sunday Scaries are a choice. I choose a life without them. How about you?

The Many (Noble) Roles of Businesses

Businesses get a bad rap. For whatever sick and twisted reasons, businesses get pigeonholed as soulless entities whose sole role is to take advantage of people while extracting as much money from them as humanly possible. This is absolute nonsense, of course. Businesses don't thrive by taking advantage of people. They thrive by adding value to people's lives, which earns them the right to add more value to more people's lives. The more people they serve, the more financial success they can achieve. 

While it's true that one objective for most businesses is to make a profit, that's just one of many roles. If you were to interview most business owners, many roles and objectives would be mentioned:

• Provide valuable jobs for their employees.

• Add value to their customers' lives. 

• Engage in fulfilling work.

• Make an impact on this world.

• Give back to the local community. 

• Build something they can be proud of. 

• The list goes on and on.....

I was reminded of this last night while attending a trunk or treat event a few blocks from my house. As we were surrounded by hundreds (or thousands?) of people, I got a bit sentimental while taking it in. This event was planned, executed, and made possible by the countless businesses who raised their hand and stepped forward. 

Each "trunk" was funded, set up, staffed, and represented by a business. They could have easily slapped their business name on a sign and plopped a big tub of candy on a table for kids to grab. Few did that. Instead, most businesses picked a theme, decorated like crazy, and got creative with their treats. One of my friends went full-out Ghostbusters (uniforms included!). Another friend did a shark attack schtick. Then a handful of other friends went all-out Ninja Turtles. Not only did they pass out candy, but they arranged for the pizza shop across the street to deliver five pizzas every 30 minutes so they could hand out slices to all the kids and parents. Ninja Turtles handing out pizza at a trunk or treat!!!! It was brilliant, and it made people smile. 

That's what business means to me. Turning a profit is the act serving those who we wish to serve, then re-earning the right to do it again next month. There's nothing evil in that. In fact, it's a noble endeavor. The world is a better place when it's full of businesses that add value to people's lives. 

My life is better when that local restaurant is there to serve my family a tasty meal.

My life is better when that real estate agent is there to help me buy or sell a property.

My life is better when my chiropractor is there to snap my body back into place.

My life is better when the grocery store up the street from my house sells fresh food.

My life is better when that coffee shop is willing to make me a drink.

Businesses have many roles, and they are all valuable. 

A Novel Concept

Yesterday, I met with someone who I completely disagree with on a specific topic. Oh yeah, and he disagrees with me. We actually met to talk about this very topic. There was no hate, no animosity, and no tension. Just a productive conversation. Novel concept, I know.

We each shared why we believe what we do and why we disagree with the other person's perspective. It was engaging, educational, and perhaps even fun. I learned a lot from his insights, and he said the same about mine. When we closed the conversation, I don't think either of us had changed our minds. However, we both walked away with a better understanding of the other person's perspective and some things to ponder.

While I don't know if I'll ever fully agree with his viewpoint, I definitely view it differently now that I have additional context and perspective. This will help me grow, think clearer, and become more well-rounded. That's a huge win in my book. Further, I'm grateful this person trusted me enough to be willing to go there with the conversation. I greatly respect him for that.

I'm staying intentionally vague with the exact topic of our conversation because this idea applies to most areas of life. I think we've lost the ability to live with those we disagree with. Our polarized culture says we need to toss them aside and steer clear. After all, they aren't like us. They are the bad guys. They must be ignored. They must be stopped. I'm not a fan of this mentality.....even though it can be an easy go-to.

Instead of treating them like enemies, we should embrace them as friends. Despite our differences, most of us have far more in common than we have conflicting. There's a richness to life when we can learn from and engage with people we don't see eye to eye. I'm grateful for these relationships in my life. I hope you have some in yours as well!

It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense

I love, love, love when people make decisions that fly in the face of our prevailing culture. Decisions that make people scratch their heads. Decisions that cause our loved ones to question our sanity. Decisions that lead others to talk behind our backs.

One of my friends recently made such a decision. As he was living out the final years of his career, he decided to make a drastic shift. He was perched at the helm of a fairly prestigious position at a notable institution, presumably set to coast out the remaining few years of his career in comfort before riding off into the sunset.

Today, he's settling into a new career at a new organization. Instead of coasting in comfort, he's diving head-first into discomfort. He could have taken an easy path toward the finish line, but he's choosing the road less traveled. This was a significantly counter-cultural decision, which was not lost on him as he contemplated his next steps.

Does he regret it? Did he make a mistake? Did it blow up in his face? I recently had the opportunity to ask him about it. He couldn't be happier! He's challenged in entirely new ways and, in a sense, starting over. This is the irony of pursuing meaning. In one hand, there is comfort, ease, and security. In the other hand, there is discomfort, challenge, risk, and stress.......oh yeah, and meaning! Meaning rarely comes with the prior, and almost always comes with the latter.

I hope I have his courage when I reach that point in my career. The world says to coast to the finish line (as quickly as possible). My friend said, "Nah, I prefer meaning." Well, he probably didn't actually say that, but in my mind, that's what he said.

I can't wait to see how the next chapter in his story is written! It doesn’t have to make sense. The best stories rarely do.

Celebrate the Wins

Like millions of Americans, this one particular couple has a ton of debt. Frankly, it feels overwhelming. It's the type of debt that feels suffocating and can paralyze you from even knowing where to begin.

However, unlike millions of Americans, this couple has a plan. More importantly, they have the conviction that their plan can and will work. One year in, and so far so good. They've already paid off a half dozen small debts and are moving on to some larger ones.

They are on a challenging journey, no doubt. Nothing about paying off a ton of debt is easy, which is why very few families actually do it. It takes discipline, patience, delayed gratification, and a whole lot of motivation.

Whenever someone tackles this sort of endeavor, I always give one particular tip. Celebrate the wins. All the wins. When you pay off a small debt, celebrate small. When you pay off a large debt, celebrate large. But always celebrate. Maybe it's dinner at a nice restaurant. Maybe it's a weekend away. Maybe it's a trip to the spa. Maybe it's ______ (you fill in the blank). But always celebrate!

It sounds counter-intuitive to spend money on wants when trying to pay off debt, but we need to zoom out and look at the big picture. If we stay 100% laser-focused and never celebrate, there's a high likelihood we'll burn out and possibly quit. This is an arduous journey, after all. Those little celebrations can be the refresher we need to keep fighting.

I think back to when Sarah and I were on our $236,000 debt payoff journey. It took us 4.5 years to achieve it. We celebrated every single win. If we hadn't, one of us would have broken down on the journey. The most noteworthy celebration was an amazing trip to Europe. Weird, I know. We were about 12 months away from completing our debt payoff journey, but we were exhausted. We were fighting so aggressively that we were practically burning ourselves out. That's when we decided to take drastic measures.

What ensued was a two-week trip to five countries, where we created lifelong memories. It set us back by about two months in our debt payoff journey, but it's just what we needed. One could argue we should have gotten out of debt first, but the counter-argument is that we might not have made it without that break. So, we celebrated!

This is yet another example of why money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. If Sarah and I had stuck by the pure math and made it solely about money, we might have burned out and failed at our mission. Instead, we took this trip, made unforgettable memories, and successfully completed our $236,000 journey just over a year later. I will always love and cherish that story.

Always celebrate those wins! It may be the make-or-break in achieving your goals....and it's fun!

To Coffee or Not to Coffee

We had a fantastic event last night in Los Angeles. I couldn't have been more grateful to be in that room. One of the points I wanted to drive home was the importance of each person spending their values. Not the values of their neighbors, family, co-workers, or the underlying culture. This seems obvious, but most people subconsciously spend other people's values.

To illustrate this, I used a story I've previously shared on this blog. A young woman comes to me, frustrated with her situation. She's a young adult with a good career, but she’s discontent. Ever since college, her dream was to travel. However, two years into her career, she still hadn't traveled.

She had a fairly expensive car (with hefty payments to go with it), so I asked her about it. She said she didn't really care about the car. Her parents told her she needed something "reliable," which led her down this path. She was also living in a fairly high-end apartment. Again, she said she really didn't care much about it. It's where many of her close friends live, so it seemed the right place for her.

While she believed she was spending her values, I showed her how her two most significant expenses in life directly resulted from her living her parents' and friends' values. Shortly thereafter, she sold the car and moved into a cheaper apartment, opening the door for lots and lots of travel (you know, her values).

When we got to the Q&A portion of the night, I asked the audience what expenses in their budget DON'T add value to their life. There were many good answers, but two women almost simultaneously shouted "coffee." One of the women explained how she often goes to Starbucks, and it's always a ripoff to her. It doesn't add nearly as much value as it costs her.

It reminded me of a post I wrote a few weeks ago about a woman who finds tremendous value in her 7-days-per-week $7 lattes. These women have the complete opposite opinion about the very same purchase. One says it's the biggest waste of money, while the other calls it the biggest bargain and value-add in her life.

This is the beauty of how we're all wired differently. It's also a perfect representation of why it's important to lean into our unique values. If we do, it drives meaning. If we don't, it causes discontentment. It's the same $7 purchase, but one adds and one subtracts.

Here's my question today. What's one thing you spend money on that doesn't add value to your life? For me, it's fast food when I'm scrambling from place to place. I love the occasional fast food meal, but I get absolutely no enjoyment from it when it's done out of stress and hurry. I need to cut those from my spending.

That's my answer. What about you? I hope you have a meaningful day, living in accordance with your values!

Earning the Right: Part 1

The idea that "money doesn't matter" is naive at best, and misleading at worst. Even in the world of Meaning Over Money, it doesn't mean meaning=100 and money=0. Here's why. At the end of the day, we need to feed our families. We live in a world that requires us to financially care for ourselves. Failing to do so has some pretty dire consequences.

As such, living a life full of meaning, but failing to provide the basic needs for our family, flat-out doesn't work. It's a recipe for disaster. Yeah, I'm all about the pursuit of meaning. However, if we can't figure out how to pay the bills in the process, we lose the right to pursue this path. Completely disregarding money isn't the answer.

Three factors are at play when building a sustainable, meaningful life. We must combine our skills, with our passions, in a way that's profitable. Skills and passion without profit is a hobby. Passion and profit without skills will lead to failure. Skills and profit without passion will result in a job we merely tolerate (or worse). But if we can combine all three? That's a beautiful situation. When I say "profitble," I'm not suggesting we need to be Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. Rather, I'm suggesting we make enough.

Enough. What does "enough" even mean? To me, it means earning the right to do it again. When I make enough this month, I earn the right to serve those who I wish to serve again next month. This is so important, and this is why so many entrepreneurs, freelancers, and solopreneurs fail. They don't fail because they are bad at their craft. They fail because they didn't earn the right to keep doing their craft.

The meaning over money angle comes into play in the curation of our lifestyle, which determines what enough is. Suppose we lean too much into the materialistic side of things. More debt, more expenses, more obligations. In that case, we raise the financial bar so high that we don't have a chance to combine skills, passions, and profit in a way that's enough. Therefore, our desire for stuff ultimately overpowers our pursuit of meaning. I see this happen again, and again, and again.

So next time you find yourself struggling to charge what you're worth or creating a revenue from your skills and passions, just remember you're not being selfish or greedy. You’re trying to earn the right to continue doing it. If you don't, you rob yourself and those who you serve. So, you charging what is fair and just is a noble, good thing. It's the prerequisite to the path of meaningful work. Don't be scared of that....embrace it!

We Don’t (Completely) Live on an Island

It sometimes feels like we're living on an island. Whenever we talk about such crazy ideas as pursuing work that matters, not keeping up with the Joneses, and practicing radical generosity, criticism and hate start rolling in. I feel it daily, but I regularly get stories from you about the harsh words and criticism you receive.

One of you left your job to pursue a career that makes a bigger impact, and a family member called you "irresponsible." Another one of you sold your fancy car and downsized your house, and people started asking if you were broke. Another person stopped hoarding money and started giving significantly more, and their colleague responded with, "Your kids deserve better." I could rattle off another dozen of these stories.

It can feel lonely at times, but community changes everything. Every time I absorb some online hate (which has slowed down in recent months), I immediately get an e-mail from one of you with an incredible story about your own journey. It's easy to dwell on the haters, while simultaneously glossing over the people who are right there alongside you. We're all on this journey together, and I couldn't be more grateful. I was reminded of this fact when a friend texted the name of a song, along with the message, "You write this song?" I had no idea what he was talking about, so off to Google I went. It’s called Bigger Houses by Dan + Shay.

Check out these lyrics:

Used to dream about buying that bigger house

Sitting on top of some hill

Losing sleep about filling my bank account

Wondering if I ever will

But the older I get, I just care less and less

'Bout keeping up with people named Jones

If you don't fill it up with somebody that you love

It ain't ever gonna feel like home

There's always gonna be a higher high

You could chase for the rest of your life

Greener grass in the yard next door

Or a shined up Chevy little newer than yours

You're never gonna fill an empty cup

If what you got's still not enough

The thing about happiness I've found is

It don't live in bigger houses

I can hear the kids making little footsteps

Running down the hallway upstairs

I can see the dogs playing in the back yard

Through the kitchen window right there

Maybe life's kinda more 'bout us swinging on a porch

Holding her while the sun disappears

Why would I wanna be anywhere else in the world

When my whole world is sitting right here?

Wow! It's so fun to know others are spreading the meaning over money message. Here's the fun part. We don't need to be a world-renowned band to have a platform. We all have a platform. We all have people watching us. That's an amazing opportunity.....and a huge responsibility. We can model money, or we can model meaning. If you're one of the hundreds who read this blog literally daily, I suspect you're probably in the meaning camp.

It sometimes feels like we're living on an island. That's probably not entirely true, but if it is, let's invite others to join the party! There's room for everyone on this island!

The Years Are Indeed Too Short

"The days are long, and the years are short."

This phrase was said to me multiple times when my kids were infants. I definitely understood the "days are long" part. With newborn twins, just the 16 bottles per day part felt long. On the other hand, I didn't fully understand the "years are short" part. Everything just felt long....and exhausting.

The boys turned seven yesterday, and we had a great day celebrating. Soccer game, roller skating, ice cream cake....lots of fun stuff. Wow, the years are indeed short. The twos and threes stage felt brutally slow, but they went from four to seven in what seemed like a month. I once read that 75% of all the time we spend with our kids will happen by the time they turn 12. Yikes! That's a staggering statistic. And a depressing one, at that.

Money can buy a lot of things, but it can't buy back lost time. It can buy houses, cars, and technology, but it can't give us back the time, memories, and moments we lost. Over the last few years, as I began to realize the years go by far too fast, I thought I had a solution. I thought if I just tried really hard to live in the moment, it would make time slow down. Turns out it doesn't work like that. Therefore, I eventually conceded that time will fly by no matter what we do, so we might as well embrace it for its rapidly moving beauty.

Happy birthday to Finn and Pax, and I'm excited to experience whatever time I'm blessed to have left with them. It's days like yesterday when meaning over money becomes even more glaring and obvious. Leaving my prior career and starting over 4.5 years ago was one of the scariest decisions of my life. I felt reasonably confident in my decision when I first made it, but that decision has been affirmed over, and over, and over again through the years. Not because it's been easy (it's actually the hardest thing I've ever done), but rather because it matters.

If you're ever teetering on the fence of meaning vs. money, look your children in the eyes. It only takes about 0.2 seconds to realize which side of the fence we should land. Meaning. Always meaning.

Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

Meaning doesn't pay the bills, or so I'm told. When I advocate for pursuing meaning over money, I typically receive criticism. I get called privileged, naive, short-sighted, and sometimes stupid.

However, I think there's a misunderstanding about this entire meaning vs. money conversation. We don't have to choose between meaning and money. I'm just asking people to choose meaning. If we choose money, there's a chance we find it. If we choose meaning, we will absolutely find it.....and we may even find some money along the way. Here's why. When we pursue meaning, we're likely pouring our blood, sweat, tears, gifts, passions, and energy toward something we believe in. If that's true, we can't help but have some level of success.

This is a significantly better outcome than waking up each day to tolerate or despise what we're about to do. In other words, most people who pursue meaning will ultimately make more money (in the long run) than those who simply chase the money. It's one of the greatest ironies of work and money. Choosing meaning does NOT condemn us to a life of poverty. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're neglecting our family. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're going to live a difficult life. I'd argue the opposite, actually.

There's a reason I brought this topic up today. Just this week, two of my clients experienced major job shifts. In an effort to pursue meaning, both accepted jobs that better align with their values and definitions of meaning. Oh yeah, they both received $20,000+ annual increases from what they previously made. So they both have more meaningful work AND make more money doing it.

Fear. Fear is typically the biggest obstacle in pursuing meaning. Change is hard. A known terrible is still better than a likely (but uncertain) good. It's like drinking semi-rotten milk. It tastes awful, and the alternative is probably much better, but there's also a chance it could be completely rotten. People would rather sip on their tolerable semi-rotten milk, and know what they're getting, than take a small risk that it could be worse. That's the funny thing about us humans. We fear a negative outcome far more than we get excitable for a positive outcome. The fear of the unknown is always worse than the reality of the known.....even when the known absolutely sucks.

I'm thrilled my clients were willing to take that chance. They had the courage and the conviction to make a drastic change, and they are mightily blessed because of it. They wake up each day excited for what they're about to do AND make more money for their families. It's a beautiful outcome to a very intentional decision. The decision to simply choose meaning. I couldn't love it more!

How To Get Rich

One of my former youth group kids had a question for me. It was a very clear, direct, and commonly asked question. "What's the best way to build wealth?" I get this question all the time, so I gave him my absolute best answer. Two answers, actually:

1. Pursue meaningful work

2. Always be generous

Confused, he asked a follow-up question. "How will those things help me build wealth?"

"They won't, but they will give you a rich life. That's what you're looking for, right?"

This was the beginning of a wonderful conversation. Without rehashing the entire thing, it led us down a fun road about the purpose of money. He, like so many, equate more money with a better life. In other words, if he can create wealth for himself, he'll have a great life. If he doesn't, he might not.

What I wanted him to take away was this. Wealth is just that, wealth. In and of itself, it provides nothing. I know many wealthy people who live poor lives. On the flip side, a rich life is a rich life. Living a rich life doesn't necessarily require lots of money. A rich life is accessible to all, regardless of education, income, age, or status. Even better, the prerequisites to living a rich life are simple: pursue meaningful work and always be generous. There are obviously more components to a rich life, but if we practice just those two things, there's a high likelihood we'll lead a rich, fulfilling, meaningful life.

Before I close the book on this post, please hear me out. I'm NOT advocating for us living a life of poverty. We must find a way to provide for our family and pay for basic needs. Without that, it will most certainly be a challenging and laborious road. What I'm speaking about here is the choice between having enough and having more than enough. Having enough unlocks the possibility of a rich life. The pursuit of more than enough will often sabotage our ability to live the rich life we are seeking. 

Hope this gives you something to think about today. Have an awesome day!

Puzzle Pieces

This is a puzzle piece from one of Finn's puzzles. What do you see? 

Here's what the full puzzle looks like:

Did you get it right? Were you even close? That's the fun part about puzzles. Each piece, on its own, means something different (or perhaps nothing at all). But when all the pieces are arranged together, it creates something beautiful. 

Yesterday, I posted about a woman I know who buys a $7 latte each morning. I explained why she does it and how it's about something bigger than a cup of coffee to her. I can usually tell when my posts will be controversial and/or cause pushback. I didn't smell this one coming. When I finished a string of meetings, I was met with an inbox full of responses (I always love your feedback, by the way!). The replies were entirely one-sided.....veering hard negative. Sentiments such as how wasteful she is, how selfish she appears, how materialistic she's behaving, and how bad of a steward she is with her money. 

What I gave you was a single puzzle piece. Many looked at that single puzzle piece and drew their own conclusion about what the entire puzzle looked like. Just like my example above, it's difficult to ascertain the beauty of this puzzle from just one piece. Here's what I'd like to do. I'm going to let you see a few more pieces of this puzzle, then give you a second chance to guess what the full puzzle looks like:

• This woman works in full-time ministry, serving single mothers and their children.

• This woman and her husband have been fostering kids for over a decade.

• This woman is actively engaged in her local church, serving in various areas.

• This woman and her husband drive older cars and live in a very average house. 

• Based on my limited knowledge, I suspect this family gives at least 15-20% of their annual income. 

• This woman is adored by many, which likely stems from how much love and encouragement she constantly pours out to others. 

• Oh yeah, and she buys a $7 latte each morning. 

We're quick to judge others through the lens of our values, our interests, and our limited visibility of their life. But that's the problem. We're looking at it through our lens, not theirs....and we only get to see a few pieces of their puzzle. This woman lives quite conservatively, yet buys a nice coffee each morning. That doesn't make her evil. That makes her unique. This is what makes meaning over money so special. It looks different in every person's life. 

I think the message today is two-fold. First, we should resist the urge to judge people (or their decisions) when we can only see a few pieces of their puzzle. Without proper context, we have no idea what's truly going on. Second, it's ok if your puzzle pieces don't all look alike. It's not until they get fully assembled that they create something beautiful. 

The World’s Greatest Bargain

One of my friends buys a $7 latte every day. When I say every day, I mean every day. During the week, it's usually in the morning. On the weekends, it's either late morning or early afternoon. When she talks about her $7 lattes, her face lights up. She can go on and on and on about her lattes and how much value they add to her life.

Sounds pretty odd, eh? Yeah, I'd have to agree with you. Super weird. Except she's not actually talking about lattes. Sure, she does get a $7 latte every day, but it's not really about the latte. For her, it's about far more than a shot of espresso, milk, and syrup. To her, it's a ritual that signifies the blessing of another day to live. It's the relationships she's built with the staff and other customers. It's spending time in an environment that's uplifting and life-giving. It's finding the little joys in life, and then leaning hard into them. It's spending time with people she cares about and sharing her journey with them. It's meeting strangers and making new friends. It's showing generosity to others through simple acts of kindness.

Money is never about money…..it’s always about something bigger. To this woman, she's not buying a coffee. She's investing in something deeper. Yeah, it adds up to a relatively large expense each month. But if you were to ask her (which I have), she'd tell you her coffee ritual is the world's greatest bargain.

This isn't me advocating for everyone to go buy $7 lattes every day. Far from it. Rather, I'm advocating that we find the little joys in life and lean as hard into them as my friend leans into hers. I'm advocating that we look past the surface level of simply exchanging money for a product. I'm advocating that we focus on the meaning, not the money.

My friend is joyfully and confidently living out an important principle when it comes to life and money. She understands it at a deep level. The irony is that most people look at her and silently judge her as being irresponsible, superficial, and short-sighted. I don't think she cares, though. She's just living her best and most meaningful life.

Tailgating Economics Don't Have to Make Sense

I've always been fascinated by college football tailgating. Growing up in NW Illinois, college sports weren't really a thing. It was Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Blackhawks. That's it. It wasn't until I was a freshman at Iowa State that I was exposed to the spectacle of tailgating.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in thousands of individual set-ups, circling a single stadium. If the game starts at 11AM, people start tailgating at 7AM. If the game starts at 2PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. And if the game starts at 6PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. There's busses, RVs, food, music, games, beverages, and even big-screen TVs broadcasting other games.

Needless to say, people spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money to fulfill their tailgating endeavors. It's nothing short of astounding the lengths people will go to enhance their tailgate. I get exhausted just from

Seeing some people’s tailgates, and I'm not even the one investing the time, energy, or money. But they sure are fun!

I love asking people about their tailgates, which are as unique as fingerprints. Each group has its own traditions, food, games, rhythms, schedules, and habits. The key word there is tradition. Whenever you ask someone about their tailgate, their face lights up, and they share how, when, and why it all started (usually many years ago). Some people will tell you they've been doing the same thing in the same location for decades.

If we're honest, the economics of tailgating don't make sense. Many people I know spend as much on tailgating each fall as most families spend on travel year-round. It can be expensive! It's not for everyone, but it's for many. People aren't ever going to justify the math on tailgating, but they will tell you as confidently as the grass is green, it's worth it. This is where the whole meaning over money concept comes into play. Not everything is about money. For some, they simply choose this because it matters.

At the heart of it, it's about something deeper. It's about people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. It's an investment in relationships. It's a way to share experiences and create memories.

I'm grateful for anyone who has ever invited me to their tailgate. It's an opportunity I never take for granted. It's not something I ever aspire to recreate with our own family (especially at the scale many do it), but man, it sure is fun. I have many fond memories of sharing those experiences with people I care about. If that's you, just know I'm grateful!

My Cyclones may have lost yesterday, but the memories I created will last a lifetime.

The Painful (Yet Beautiful) Cost of Parenting

Today is a big day! Not only is it one of the biggest college football games of our season (Iowa at Iowa State), but it’s Northern Vessel’s official launch party for our new canned cold brew partnership with We Will Collective (Iowa State’s NIL collective). We’ll be setting up a tent alongside We Will, where our entire Northern Vessel team will be there to celebrate the launch, eat good food, and have a fun time together. Many friends, former Iowa State athletes, and other big names will also be stopping by the tailgate to say hello and grab some cold brew (35,000 cans fresh off the line!). Word on the street is President Trump and several other 2024 presidential candidates will also be floating around the premises.

It will be an absolutely fantastic event…..and I’ll miss most of it. Bummed doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. This is the type of thing we’ve envisioned since relaunching Northern Vessel in November 2022. This is the next step of TJ’s dream, and being able to support him is one of the greatest privileges of my life. Yet, I’m going to miss the majority of it.

Why? Finn and Pax have a parks and recreation soccer game this morning. They really want to play, and just as important, they want their dad there to cheer them on. I remember back when I dreamed of one day becoming a father. I made a promise to myself that I would make every one of my kids’ games, concerts, or other events if I had the power to do so. I also think back to my own childhood and remember fondly that my parents rarely missed a game. They didn’t have to be there, but they somehow sacrificed to always be present. If my memory serves me correctly, my mom only missed two basketball games in my entire 5th-12th career (in one, I scored 47 points, and in the other, I was carted out of the gym on a stretcher with temporary paralysis). I always loved having my parents there and want my kids to have the same thing (not the life-flash-before-their-eyes injury part, though…..that’s a story for a different day).

Can we parents all agree that this isn’t easy? In the chaos of life, it’s hard enough to keep my head on straight with the everyday things in my life…..never mind all the extracurricular activities. And the crazy part is, we’re not even into the thick of it yet. We have a few first graders just now getting into sports and other activities.

I’m very torn today. I’m mourning the loss of missing this important event. However, the decision was pretty simple. Many years ago, I made that commitment to myself to be present when I eventually became a father. This is where we find out if I was just talking the talk, or if I’ll walk the walk.

Oh yeah, Go Cyclones!