Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

Meaning doesn't pay the bills, or so I'm told. When I advocate for pursuing meaning over money, I typically receive criticism. I get called privileged, naive, short-sighted, and sometimes stupid.

However, I think there's a misunderstanding about this entire meaning vs. money conversation. We don't have to choose between meaning and money. I'm just asking people to choose meaning. If we choose money, there's a chance we find it. If we choose meaning, we will absolutely find it.....and we may even find some money along the way. Here's why. When we pursue meaning, we're likely pouring our blood, sweat, tears, gifts, passions, and energy toward something we believe in. If that's true, we can't help but have some level of success.

This is a significantly better outcome than waking up each day to tolerate or despise what we're about to do. In other words, most people who pursue meaning will ultimately make more money (in the long run) than those who simply chase the money. It's one of the greatest ironies of work and money. Choosing meaning does NOT condemn us to a life of poverty. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're neglecting our family. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're going to live a difficult life. I'd argue the opposite, actually.

There's a reason I brought this topic up today. Just this week, two of my clients experienced major job shifts. In an effort to pursue meaning, both accepted jobs that better align with their values and definitions of meaning. Oh yeah, they both received $20,000+ annual increases from what they previously made. So they both have more meaningful work AND make more money doing it.

Fear. Fear is typically the biggest obstacle in pursuing meaning. Change is hard. A known terrible is still better than a likely (but uncertain) good. It's like drinking semi-rotten milk. It tastes awful, and the alternative is probably much better, but there's also a chance it could be completely rotten. People would rather sip on their tolerable semi-rotten milk, and know what they're getting, than take a small risk that it could be worse. That's the funny thing about us humans. We fear a negative outcome far more than we get excitable for a positive outcome. The fear of the unknown is always worse than the reality of the known.....even when the known absolutely sucks.

I'm thrilled my clients were willing to take that chance. They had the courage and the conviction to make a drastic change, and they are mightily blessed because of it. They wake up each day excited for what they're about to do AND make more money for their families. It's a beautiful outcome to a very intentional decision. The decision to simply choose meaning. I couldn't love it more!

How To Get Rich

One of my former youth group kids had a question for me. It was a very clear, direct, and commonly asked question. "What's the best way to build wealth?" I get this question all the time, so I gave him my absolute best answer. Two answers, actually:

1. Pursue meaningful work

2. Always be generous

Confused, he asked a follow-up question. "How will those things help me build wealth?"

"They won't, but they will give you a rich life. That's what you're looking for, right?"

This was the beginning of a wonderful conversation. Without rehashing the entire thing, it led us down a fun road about the purpose of money. He, like so many, equate more money with a better life. In other words, if he can create wealth for himself, he'll have a great life. If he doesn't, he might not.

What I wanted him to take away was this. Wealth is just that, wealth. In and of itself, it provides nothing. I know many wealthy people who live poor lives. On the flip side, a rich life is a rich life. Living a rich life doesn't necessarily require lots of money. A rich life is accessible to all, regardless of education, income, age, or status. Even better, the prerequisites to living a rich life are simple: pursue meaningful work and always be generous. There are obviously more components to a rich life, but if we practice just those two things, there's a high likelihood we'll lead a rich, fulfilling, meaningful life.

Before I close the book on this post, please hear me out. I'm NOT advocating for us living a life of poverty. We must find a way to provide for our family and pay for basic needs. Without that, it will most certainly be a challenging and laborious road. What I'm speaking about here is the choice between having enough and having more than enough. Having enough unlocks the possibility of a rich life. The pursuit of more than enough will often sabotage our ability to live the rich life we are seeking. 

Hope this gives you something to think about today. Have an awesome day!

Puzzle Pieces

This is a puzzle piece from one of Finn's puzzles. What do you see? 

Here's what the full puzzle looks like:

Did you get it right? Were you even close? That's the fun part about puzzles. Each piece, on its own, means something different (or perhaps nothing at all). But when all the pieces are arranged together, it creates something beautiful. 

Yesterday, I posted about a woman I know who buys a $7 latte each morning. I explained why she does it and how it's about something bigger than a cup of coffee to her. I can usually tell when my posts will be controversial and/or cause pushback. I didn't smell this one coming. When I finished a string of meetings, I was met with an inbox full of responses (I always love your feedback, by the way!). The replies were entirely one-sided.....veering hard negative. Sentiments such as how wasteful she is, how selfish she appears, how materialistic she's behaving, and how bad of a steward she is with her money. 

What I gave you was a single puzzle piece. Many looked at that single puzzle piece and drew their own conclusion about what the entire puzzle looked like. Just like my example above, it's difficult to ascertain the beauty of this puzzle from just one piece. Here's what I'd like to do. I'm going to let you see a few more pieces of this puzzle, then give you a second chance to guess what the full puzzle looks like:

• This woman works in full-time ministry, serving single mothers and their children.

• This woman and her husband have been fostering kids for over a decade.

• This woman is actively engaged in her local church, serving in various areas.

• This woman and her husband drive older cars and live in a very average house. 

• Based on my limited knowledge, I suspect this family gives at least 15-20% of their annual income. 

• This woman is adored by many, which likely stems from how much love and encouragement she constantly pours out to others. 

• Oh yeah, and she buys a $7 latte each morning. 

We're quick to judge others through the lens of our values, our interests, and our limited visibility of their life. But that's the problem. We're looking at it through our lens, not theirs....and we only get to see a few pieces of their puzzle. This woman lives quite conservatively, yet buys a nice coffee each morning. That doesn't make her evil. That makes her unique. This is what makes meaning over money so special. It looks different in every person's life. 

I think the message today is two-fold. First, we should resist the urge to judge people (or their decisions) when we can only see a few pieces of their puzzle. Without proper context, we have no idea what's truly going on. Second, it's ok if your puzzle pieces don't all look alike. It's not until they get fully assembled that they create something beautiful. 

The World’s Greatest Bargain

One of my friends buys a $7 latte every day. When I say every day, I mean every day. During the week, it's usually in the morning. On the weekends, it's either late morning or early afternoon. When she talks about her $7 lattes, her face lights up. She can go on and on and on about her lattes and how much value they add to her life.

Sounds pretty odd, eh? Yeah, I'd have to agree with you. Super weird. Except she's not actually talking about lattes. Sure, she does get a $7 latte every day, but it's not really about the latte. For her, it's about far more than a shot of espresso, milk, and syrup. To her, it's a ritual that signifies the blessing of another day to live. It's the relationships she's built with the staff and other customers. It's spending time in an environment that's uplifting and life-giving. It's finding the little joys in life, and then leaning hard into them. It's spending time with people she cares about and sharing her journey with them. It's meeting strangers and making new friends. It's showing generosity to others through simple acts of kindness.

Money is never about money…..it’s always about something bigger. To this woman, she's not buying a coffee. She's investing in something deeper. Yeah, it adds up to a relatively large expense each month. But if you were to ask her (which I have), she'd tell you her coffee ritual is the world's greatest bargain.

This isn't me advocating for everyone to go buy $7 lattes every day. Far from it. Rather, I'm advocating that we find the little joys in life and lean as hard into them as my friend leans into hers. I'm advocating that we look past the surface level of simply exchanging money for a product. I'm advocating that we focus on the meaning, not the money.

My friend is joyfully and confidently living out an important principle when it comes to life and money. She understands it at a deep level. The irony is that most people look at her and silently judge her as being irresponsible, superficial, and short-sighted. I don't think she cares, though. She's just living her best and most meaningful life.

Tailgating Economics Don't Have to Make Sense

I've always been fascinated by college football tailgating. Growing up in NW Illinois, college sports weren't really a thing. It was Bulls, Bears, Cubs, Sox, and Blackhawks. That's it. It wasn't until I was a freshman at Iowa State that I was exposed to the spectacle of tailgating.

Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in thousands of individual set-ups, circling a single stadium. If the game starts at 11AM, people start tailgating at 7AM. If the game starts at 2PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. And if the game starts at 6PM, people start tailgating at 7AM. There's busses, RVs, food, music, games, beverages, and even big-screen TVs broadcasting other games.

Needless to say, people spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money to fulfill their tailgating endeavors. It's nothing short of astounding the lengths people will go to enhance their tailgate. I get exhausted just from

Seeing some people’s tailgates, and I'm not even the one investing the time, energy, or money. But they sure are fun!

I love asking people about their tailgates, which are as unique as fingerprints. Each group has its own traditions, food, games, rhythms, schedules, and habits. The key word there is tradition. Whenever you ask someone about their tailgate, their face lights up, and they share how, when, and why it all started (usually many years ago). Some people will tell you they've been doing the same thing in the same location for decades.

If we're honest, the economics of tailgating don't make sense. Many people I know spend as much on tailgating each fall as most families spend on travel year-round. It can be expensive! It's not for everyone, but it's for many. People aren't ever going to justify the math on tailgating, but they will tell you as confidently as the grass is green, it's worth it. This is where the whole meaning over money concept comes into play. Not everything is about money. For some, they simply choose this because it matters.

At the heart of it, it's about something deeper. It's about people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. It's an investment in relationships. It's a way to share experiences and create memories.

I'm grateful for anyone who has ever invited me to their tailgate. It's an opportunity I never take for granted. It's not something I ever aspire to recreate with our own family (especially at the scale many do it), but man, it sure is fun. I have many fond memories of sharing those experiences with people I care about. If that's you, just know I'm grateful!

My Cyclones may have lost yesterday, but the memories I created will last a lifetime.

The Painful (Yet Beautiful) Cost of Parenting

Today is a big day! Not only is it one of the biggest college football games of our season (Iowa at Iowa State), but it’s Northern Vessel’s official launch party for our new canned cold brew partnership with We Will Collective (Iowa State’s NIL collective). We’ll be setting up a tent alongside We Will, where our entire Northern Vessel team will be there to celebrate the launch, eat good food, and have a fun time together. Many friends, former Iowa State athletes, and other big names will also be stopping by the tailgate to say hello and grab some cold brew (35,000 cans fresh off the line!). Word on the street is President Trump and several other 2024 presidential candidates will also be floating around the premises.

It will be an absolutely fantastic event…..and I’ll miss most of it. Bummed doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. This is the type of thing we’ve envisioned since relaunching Northern Vessel in November 2022. This is the next step of TJ’s dream, and being able to support him is one of the greatest privileges of my life. Yet, I’m going to miss the majority of it.

Why? Finn and Pax have a parks and recreation soccer game this morning. They really want to play, and just as important, they want their dad there to cheer them on. I remember back when I dreamed of one day becoming a father. I made a promise to myself that I would make every one of my kids’ games, concerts, or other events if I had the power to do so. I also think back to my own childhood and remember fondly that my parents rarely missed a game. They didn’t have to be there, but they somehow sacrificed to always be present. If my memory serves me correctly, my mom only missed two basketball games in my entire 5th-12th career (in one, I scored 47 points, and in the other, I was carted out of the gym on a stretcher with temporary paralysis). I always loved having my parents there and want my kids to have the same thing (not the life-flash-before-their-eyes injury part, though…..that’s a story for a different day).

Can we parents all agree that this isn’t easy? In the chaos of life, it’s hard enough to keep my head on straight with the everyday things in my life…..never mind all the extracurricular activities. And the crazy part is, we’re not even into the thick of it yet. We have a few first graders just now getting into sports and other activities.

I’m very torn today. I’m mourning the loss of missing this important event. However, the decision was pretty simple. Many years ago, I made that commitment to myself to be present when I eventually became a father. This is where we find out if I was just talking the talk, or if I’ll walk the walk.

Oh yeah, Go Cyclones!