Under the Fold

Yesterday was a wild day. I partnered with our local high school to host three workshops on pursuing meaningful work. The idea stemmed from a talk I recently gave at a local middle school. The concept is simple, but powerful. To find meaningful work in our lives, we need to combine our gifts with our passions in a way that's profitable. I illustrate this by using a Venn diagram. Here's what it looks like:

After the second workshop, a young lady approached me. She thanked me for coming, said she needed to catch her ride, and then handed me a folded sheet of paper. "I took notes while you were talking and have some feedback for you. I included my e-mail address in case you want to talk more about it."

I was instantly overcome by anxiety. I was so shocked by my sudden anxiety that it caused even more anxiety. Wow! This young lady, 25 years my junior, sweetly thanked me for coming and handed me a note, and I'm overcome with anxiety!?!? What the heck is that all about?

After reflecting on it, I think it's a testament to the insane culture we live in. A culture where people constantly crap on each other, hurl insults like they are going out of style, and all news is bad news. Therefore, my immediate gut reaction was that this young lady probably blasted me. I feel immensely guilty for feeling that way, but it's an interesting situation to ponder. It took me about 40 minutes to actually read the note. All the while, it was sitting in front of me while I wondered what it contained under the fold.

So what was in the note? She again thanked me for coming and gave me some constructive feedback about one of my perspectives. I want to share one point she made, which struck me as profound. "Meaning isn't something automatically found in a thing or person. It's added once we give it the attention and work that symbolizes value in our lives."

In other words, meaning isn't inherent. It's not something that either exists....or doesn't. We must create meaning. If we have the wrong attitude, nothing will have meaning. On the flip side, even the most seemingly unmeaningful task can have meaning if we have the right mindset. To sum up her feedback, meaning is created, not found.

I applaud this young lady for a) her courage to share constructive feedback with a complete stranger, b) the humility and tact with which she shared her thoughts, and c) her wisdom and perspective on this weighty topic.

I was nervous to see what was under the fold, but I'm so very grateful for it. It will undoubtedly influence what and how I communicate a few of these topics going forward, and I'll be better for it. Don't be afraid to look under the fold in your life. It's always nerve-wracking and often uncomfortable to receive feedback, but it's always worth it.

A Posture of Gratitude

Every morning, we take a posture into our day. While no day will be perfect, and most days will surely throw us some unsavory curveballs, our posture will play a more significant role in how our day goes than the external forces that hit us. 

I wish I could say I always get this right....I don't. Somedays I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and step into my day with a poor attitude. Even good days turn sour when I do that. However, most days, I try to approach it with a posture of service and generosity. Those days are usually pretty killer. 

Today, I have a posture of gratitude. Yesterday was the final of three speaking opportunities in the last five days. And man, it was awesome! I have been anticipating yesterday for over a year, and it felt great to finally get the opportunity. Despite all the speaking success in the last five days, it was far from perfect. Between each speaking engagement were fires, mishaps, emergencies, hurting clients, deadlines, and mistakes. Impact isn't usually pretty. It's not some clean, perfect little package with a bow on it like social media would have us believe. It can be ugly and messy. Gratitude covers a lot of that up, though.

I'm grateful for Ankeny Young Professionals for inviting me to speak. 

I'm grateful for On With Life for hosting the event and for all the amazing work they are doing. I could have just restructured my entire talk and used them as THE example of what it looks like to pursue meaning. 

I'm grateful for all the wonderful people who came out to listen to the talk. Wow, that room was packed!

I'm grateful for Daily Meaning reader (and my new friend!), Gretchen, for driving to Ankeny to attend the event and meet me. Gretchen, our time together was one of the highlights of my week! Thank you!

I'm grateful for my team, who helped make this all possible:

• Jordan, for the sharp visuals.

• Parker, for the fantastic video work.

• Rebekah, for keeping my head on straight (this is a tall order!).

• Claire, for the wonderful social media.

• Alyssa, for ensuring I kept enough margin in my calendar to prepare and be mentally healthy.

As I mentioned in my talk, we can't do it alone.....and luckily, we don't have to. I would be nothing without my team.

I'm grateful for many friends (and my wife) who showed up to see me speak. It was the first time in several years that my wife attended one of my talks. That meant a lot to me.

I'm grateful for the many failures that have shaped me into who I am today. Without those terrible, gut-wrenching experiences, I couldn't be truly grateful for what I do have. Also, those failure stories make for great content for people to laugh at!

Lastly, I'm grateful for you for reading! It means more than you know!

Gratitude. Always gratitude.

The Admission Price

Later today, I'll be giving a talk to a group of young professionals. I couldn't be more excited. Also, I couldn't be more scared. This is my paradox with public speaking. It's simultaneously my greatest joy and my greatest fear. I could eliminate the fear, but it would require me to remove the joy. Or I can have the joy and keep the fear. See the dilemma?

"Comfort is the enemy of progress, and failure is the admission price to success."

This is one of my favorite parts of the talk. These words seem to strike others as much as they do me. It's a scary reality we all must face. We can have comfort.....if we're willing to give up progress. We can remove failure.....if we simply stop trying.

I love watching people fail. Not because I'm some type of weirdo (I don't think, anyway). I love watching people fail because it means they are trying to do something difficult, something that matters. When they fail, they aren't really failing. They are learning, growing, and moving the ball forward. It doesn't feel great, but that's why it's the admission price.

If I wanted to avoid failure today, I could have stayed home. There's zero chance I could embarrass myself or fall flat on my face if I just don't go. There's also zero chance I would make an impact.

Will I fall flat on my face? Will I make an impact? Will I perhaps do both? Stay tuned. I'll be sure to give you a full report soon. But enough about me. What about you? Where do you need to walk that tightrope of comfort and progress, failure and success? I know you know. It's the thing that lives just below the surface. Every now and then, it pops its head out. But it's really, really uncomfortable, so we push it back down. We know we should go for it, but life is simpler and more comfortable if we don't.

Whatever you do, I hope you decide to pay the admission price!

It’s About More Than the Product

Though I'm firmly cemented in the dot com generation (and live fully into all of the stereotypes), there's nothing better to me than a good old-fashioned newspaper. Sitting down with a paper and a coffee is my definition of relaxation. After a two-year hiatus, I recently decided to subscribe to a print newspaper. In my opinion, the Wall Street Journal is the most well-rounded, unbiased publication on the market. Therefore, that was my paper of choice.

The first day of delivery was glorious! Unlike the last time I subscribed, it showed up right at my doorstep (instead of me having to play Where's Waldo around a 3-house radius). I had my paper. I had my coffee. I had my relaxation. I was one happy man.....for a few days.

Then, something happened. I quickly realized the paper was getting delivered at 8:30 or 9:00 AM, significantly later than desired. Not only did I not get to read it while relaxing before work, but I didn't even have the opportunity to take it with me. To make matters worse, the weekend edition gets delivered one day late. I wake up on Saturday morning to enjoy my weekend reading, only to realize there is none. I'm already at church by the time they deliver it on Sunday. Therefore, I don't even see the weekend edition until Sunday afternoon.

Ok, rant over. Sorry, didn't mean to cry a river there. Here's where I'm going with this. The Wall Street Journal is a wonderful paper. I very much enjoy the Wall Street Journal. It's worth every penny I pay for it. HOWEVER, it's about more than the product. Even if the product is amazing (like the WSJ), the other aspects of the relationship matter just as much. Despite having a significantly superior product (my opinion) at a reasonable price (also my opinion), it's simply not worth it if they don't deliver it promptly.

It makes me think about Apple. I love Apple products. While Apple makes some of the best products in the world, it's about more than the product. From the unique layout and structure their retail stores, to the streamlined user-interface experience, to the unparalleled customer service. Did I mention the packaging?!?! Have you ever unboxed an Apple product? That experience alone is amazing. Apple understands it's about more than the product. Apple understands you need a world-class product AND excellence in all the other areas around it.

I think about this idea a lot. While we're trying to be excellent, work hard, and make an impact, what are we missing? Do we deliver good work but show up late every day? Are we good to work with but terrible to work for? Do we get our work done quickly, but it's full of errors? Do we make stellar choices on our big financial decisions but squander it away on all the little ones? Do we have a glaring blind spot amidst otherwise excellent work?

Something to think about today.

Once You See It

Do you recognize this logo? Of course, it's the KFC logo! Most of us grew up with this logo in our lives, and its tasty fried chicken in our bellies. It's one of the most recognizable brands and logos in American culture. However, a few years ago, someone told me something that would forever change my life (ok, that's a bit of an over exaggeration). Are you ready for it? Ready for me to rock your world? Colonel Sanders's bow tie isn't a bow tie, but a little stick figure with arms and legs. Can you see it? No, the more important question is if you can unsee it. After spending my entire life knowing it's a bow tie, all I can see now is a big mellon on a tiny little stick body. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

This same concept applies to many financial concepts in our lives. We spend our entire lives believing something is one way, until we see it differently. Then once we do, we can never go back to seeing it the old way. 

• After being vehemently against budgeting for nearly two decades, one of my clients recently stated they can't image living another month without one. 

• Another client has lived his entire life believing the stock market is risky. After learning the truth, he now views the stock market as a long-term no-brainer with practically zero risk of long-term loss.

• Many clients were raised to believe debt is just a fact of life.....until a different, healthier, and better reality is presented to them. 

• Most people perceive student loans as an inevitable and necessary evil if they send their kids to college. However, once I walk them through a different perspective and show it to them visually, it revolutionizes their prospective reality. 

I could list a few dozen more examples, but I don't want to beat a dead horse. The fun part about this once-you-see-it concept is that it doesn't require magic or much work to make it happen. Take the KFC logo, for instance. All I did was share an idea, and all you did was digest the idea. Then boom (!!!), Colonel Sanders will forever be a big ol' head on a tiny stick body. 

Just think of the possibilities, then. We're only limited by our willingness and desire to be curious. Curious people experience life change. Non-curious people find excuses. This is one of the primary reasons I write this blog each day. If I can share an interesting idea with just one curious person, the potential for change is on the table. 

As you go about your day today, ask yourself what tightly-held ideas you need to get curious about. Your curiosity may affirm the perspective you already hold. However, it may unlock an entirely new perspective. Once you see it......

Get Your At-Bats

I was recently invited to speak to an organization called Ankeny Young Professionals. They are an offshoot of a local chamber of commerce. I’ve been in discussions with their leadership for more than a year, eagerly anticipating an opportunity to speak. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more excited. This is a huge opportunity for me, but not for traditional reasons. It’s not going to be a significantly large audience. The room won’t likely be filled with powerful CEOs. I’m not getting paid a ton of money (unless you consider $0 a lot!). 

Here’s why I’m excited for this one:

• Young professionals are my people! I serve many different groups of people, but for whatever reason, I connect well with them……and vice versa. 

• There will be a lot of familiar faces in the room. Acquaintances, friends, clients, and other people I’ve interacted with at some point. I never take for granted when people in my life take time out of their day to read, listen, watch, or absorb my content. It’s a true pleasure. 

• This opportunity gives me another at-bat. This right here, this is the gold!

It will be the third time formally delivering my new keynote talk. This talk is the culmination of more than 100 non-related talks, thousands of client meetings and conversations, and all my content over the last decade. The first time I delivered this talk, I did it poorly (I know I’m hard on myself). The second time I delivered it, I did it ok. What about this time? There’s only one way to find out!

That’s why at-bats are so important. Each time we step up to the plate, it’s an opportunity to hit a home run, strike out, or something in between. But the only way we can get better is by stepping up to that plate, fear and all. This is the reason I crave opportunities to practice my craft. Will I strike out? Maybe. Will I hit a homerun? It’s possible. But regardless of what happens, I promise I’ll get better.

This is the opportunity we each have today. No matter what you do or what you’re trying to become, nothing can replicate the power of stepping to the plate for another at-bat. Yes, it’s possible you’ll strike out. Yes, you might embarrass yourself. Yes, you might get humbled. Yes, your nightmares might come true. That’s all on the table. But the risk of those things coming true is the entry price to impact. It might be THE thing standing between you and where you want to be.

Are you interested in watching me take my next at-bat? The talk is on October 11th from 12:00-1:00 in Ankeny. If you’re hanging around central Iowa that day, I’d be so grateful and honored if you decide to spend your lunch with us. Tickets are $15 for non-members, which includes the cost of your lunch. So you’re maybe paying $5 to hear me speak…….I’m hoping to add way more value than that!

Don’t Picture Them Naked

My crippling fear of public speaking is well documented. Years ago, I recognized the importance public speaking would have in my career. Speaking in front of clients, colleagues, investment committees, and the like. I didn't want that, but it seemed inevitable. As I started the process of overcoming my fear, I asked people for speaking advice and tips:

• Keep the mic close to my face.

• Don't pace back and forth.

• Don't talk for too long.

• Don't vomit within eyeshot of the crowd.

• Know your audience.

• Make eye contact.

• Picture them naked.

All of that was great advice…..until the whole naked part. Have you ever tried imagining the person you were talking to was naked? Never mind, don't answer that. So many people gave me that advice. Sure, sure, I'll just picture hundreds of people sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, naked, attentively watching me speak. Nothing weird about that. Yeah, that sounds like a perfectly normal and rational scenario. 

It's safe to say I didn't utilize this piece of advice. However, a slightly different version of this advice significantly altered my perspective while on stage. It has nothing to do with the garments the crowd is or isn't wearing. Rather, it's about why they are there and what they are thinking. 

Here's what someone once told me. The audience WANTS the speaker to succeed. The audience is cheering for them. Why? Nobody wants to be part of a train wreck. Nobody wants to personally endure the unwinding of someone's reputation and dignity. Further, the audience WANTS to experience something powerful and impactful. Otherwise, they are just wasting their time. In other words, most people in those seats are our advocates. It's simply our job to deliver well and affirm what they are already hoping for.

When I learned this, and actually believed it, it changed everything! In the years since hearing this perspective, I started adopting it in other areas of my life. Sure, there will absolutely be people in our life who get jealous. There's no way around that. However, I've found most people in my life want me to succeed. They want to cheer me on. They want to be part of something cool, not a dumpster fire. On the flip side, I feel the same way about people in my life. I get even more satisfaction and joy out of watching my people thrive. I'm one of their biggest fans, and I want them to know it. 

Knowing people are on our side can change everything. First, know you aren't alone. People are rooting for you. Let them rally around you and hold you up when you can't hold yourself up. Second, be sure to let people in your life know that you have their back, believe in them, and are their biggest cheerleader. It makes a world of difference!

It's Like Riding a Bike

"It's like riding a bike." I use that phrase all the time. It's one of the most tried and true principles of human behavior. I've been saying this phrase for years, but it took on a new life a few years ago when my boys were learning to ride a bike. There was lots of anger, tears, blood, and frustration. Then, like the flip of a switch, they knew how to ride a bike.....and the rest is history.

Our church has a tradition of rallying all the volunteers for a team huddle 30 minutes before the first service. There, someone shares a few announcements and a short message/story, then closes in prayer. It's a great way to start the day. I had the privilege of doing yesterday's message. To my surprise, several people approached me afterward to compliment me on it (including our head pastor, whom I deeply admire). I've given this mini-message lots of times, but don't usually get that much feedback.

Here's the kicker: I was asked to do the message about 90 seconds before the huddle started. The person who was supposed to do it couldn't, so the leader asked me to step in. I was happy to do it and exhilarated with the idea of creating a message in under two minutes. It was one of the highlights of my day.

That's not naturally who I am, though. 10 years ago, the mere idea of talking in front of 50 people, in any capacity, would have made me vomit. Five years ago, I could have done it, though I would have done so with a fair amount of anxiety and would have needed a few days to prepare myself. Two years ago, I could have done it with an hour's notice. Today, I can figure it out in less than 90 seconds and go into it excitedly. It's like riding a bike. Truly. Repetition matters. Repetition of speaking in front of an audience and repetition of creating. When I write seven blogs and record two podcasts every week, finding ideas and bringing them to life becomes second nature. At first, it was tough, but now it's just what I do. It's like brushing my teeth in the morning. Or getting dressed. Or maybe, just maybe, it's like riding a bike.

I believe in this principle so much, and it applies to many areas of our life. I see it with my clients all the time. I ask them to do things well outside their comfort zone and expertise. At first, it's difficult. Then, after more repetition, something clicks, and it becomes second nature. It's like riding a bike! Whether it's budgeting, investing, communicating with your spouse, building a new skill, creating that new business, or putting your ideas into the world, you're just a handful of repetitions away from an entirely new reality. A reality where you confidently step into the areas that are important to you. It's like riding a bike.