The Release Valve of Meaningful Work

In a recent talk, I commented about how I don't believe in retirement. I could see faces in the audience shift in real-time. When we got to my favorite part of the talk, the Q&A, someone asked a question that delighted me. "Don't you ever want to actually enjoy your life?" This was a sharp and direct question. I could see many in the audience get uncomfortable, anticipating a potentially awkward exchange. Here's a paraphrasing of my answer:

• I'm enjoying my life today more than ever…..while working harder than I've ever worked. 

• Work should add value to our lives, not impair it. 

• If I ever get to the point where my work becomes a negative, it's time to find new work. 

• "Enjoying" life doesn't directly correlate to a life of leisure. They aren't one and the same.

• Speaking of leisure, it's important to periodically take time to rest, travel, and adventure. This should happen during our career, not held back until after it.

Here's the typical work-to-retirement path:

1. Find work that pays as much as possible (disregarding what fulfillment it could/should provide).

2. Hoard as much money as possible along the way.

3. Reach a certain level of hoarding success as quickly as possible (60 is better than 65, 55 is better than 60, 50 is better than 55, …….).

4. Quit work and finally try to enjoy life.

This path incentivizes us to cut back on spending as much as possible (so we can aggressively invest), while we endure a job we dislike or hate, so we can get out ASAP. In other words, live with a certain level of career and financial misery for as short a window as necessary.

Here's something to think about. Meaningful work is a release valve from misery. Instead of following the path above, here's an alternative strategy:

1. Always pursue meaningful work (even if it pays less).

2. Invest consistently over a long period of time. Since you have a longer investing window and compound, you can invest less along the way and dedicate those extra resources toward more fulfilling endeavors (giving, traveling, making memories, etc.).

3. Give yourself the freedom to downshift/upshift your career as life evolves, always ensuring it adds value to your life.

4. If/When your health/energy deteriorates, be financially prepared to care for yourself. 

In the first scenario, we spend much of our adult life in some form of dissatisfaction (ranging somewhere between tolerance and misery), hoard resources instead of putting them to better use, and hope that one day, living a life of leisure is the ticket to happiness. In the second scenario, we find and sustain a meaningful life with far less time and financial pressure on ourselves.

Do I ever want to actually enjoy my life? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I want to enjoy it today, tomorrow, and down the road. I deeply desire that and have committed my life to the continual pursuit of meaning and impact. I desire that for you, too. 

Finding Fulfillment in an Unfulfilling Job

I often think and talk about a staggering statistic from a Gallup survey. 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. Think about that! If you put 10,000 people in a stadium, the odds are that 7,000 of them despise or merely tolerate their job. It's easy to dismiss that as not a big deal, but that's where we spend half our waking hours. That's sad!

My first advice for people who feel disengaged in their jobs is to find something different. I truly believe this. I think most people in the 70% camp could significantly improve their lives simply by changing jobs. There are many reasons why people feel this way, but in many cases, a change is needed. 

However, I'd like to take a different approach to this dilemma today. Many drivers of our dissatisfaction are external. A crappy boss, a toxic culture, a lack of impact, tasks that don't align with our skillset, a rough work environment, hours/shifts that drain you.....the list goes on. These are all valid reasons for job dissatisfaction. 

On the flip side, there are internal drivers causing us misery in our job. Or more accurately, there are internal drivers that prevent us from finding meaning in our work. Let's face it, some jobs just suck. I once worked in a cheese factory (*not a Cheesecake Factory). That job sucked. I also worked for the U.S. Census Bureau for the 2000 census. That job sucked even more (which will happen when multiple people pull guns on you). We've all had crappy jobs, and some of you are in one today. It's easy to just see these jobs as utterly terrible, but when we do, we sell ourselves short.

Regardless of where you're at or what you're doing, I think we all have the power to find fulfillment in a bad job. Our perspectives move the needle for us. If we believe everything is terrible, it is. If we believe there's good in something, there is. With that context, I'll share a few simple ways we can create fulfillment in an unfulfilling job:

• We use our time (and resulting income) to help propel ourselves to where we really want to be. It gives a dead-end situation a purpose.

• We embrace our relationships on the job. Even in the worst jobs, some of those relationships can be blessings.

• We focus on the impact we're making. Sure, the work might suck, but we still have an opportunity to serve others and make a difference. That matters!

• We use it as an opportunity to gain more experience, skills, and momentum.

• We get to use the income from the job to care for our family and move the financial needle in our lives. Our hard work is not in vain!

Yes, I think you should leave a job you tolerate or hate. I'll die on that hill. In the meantime, finding fulfillment in an otherwise unfulfilling situation is possible. Don't let the meaning slip away.

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

I've had quite the run in the last two days. In a matter of 48 hours, here's who I had the privilege of spending time with:

• A former police officer who now dedicates his life to helping other officers and first responders who are dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.

• A few high school teachers who have a passion for teaching their students about work, business, and professionalism. Their mission is to raise up the next generation of leaders by giving them the tools to enter the workforce with the skills, confidence, and momentum. 

• A pastor who has dedicated his life to serving others. His Sundays are spent preaching, but the other six days of the week are spent leading his team and counseling people who are hurting. 

• A business owner who started his company out of frustration from watching people get taken advantage of and ripped off. 

• A missionary with a heart to provide free medical care to people who may not have access to doctors or the necessary technology.

• A single mom who is raising four small children while also working a full-time career to pay the bills.

In other words, I met with a hero, a hero, a hero, a hero, a hero, and another hero. None of them wore capes. There were no masks. I couldn't tell, but I didn't see any utility belts being sported. They were all disguised as normal people just trying to do their jobs. 

Heroes are all around us, but not even the heroes know they are heroes. That's actually what makes them heroes. They aren't trying to get notoriety, praise, or compliments. And they certainly aren't trying to get rich. They are just using their gifts and passions to serve others with excellence, day in and day out. 

Maybe you're a hero and don't even know it. I hope you are, and I thank you for your service. You probably don't get enough credit for your heroism, so please consider this my formal "thank you" to start your day. I hope I'm not the only one who gives you the credit you deserve. 

Not all heroes wear capes. Please don't forget that today.

Here to Serve

Inspiration comes from the darndest places. As I was sitting here contemplating what to share today, I received a text from my often-discussed corporate client in Texas. As usual, they have interesting developments brewing and like to bounce scenarios and questions off me for my input. Some of their questions require quick and simple answers, while others require many hours of detailed contemplation and analysis. This request was of the quick and simple variety.

I told them to respond with any follow-up questions they might have, as I'm just preparing today's blog and can help however needed. One of the gentlemen jokingly responded that I should "write about people who constantly ask you to do things that you have given them the tools to do themselves and how annoying that is."

That's precisely what I will do, but I will pull a 180 on him. There is nothing annoying about this exchange whatsoever. In fact, it's a privilege and an honor. The fact my insights and expertise are desired and valued is something I never take for granted. Further, the opportunity to add value to their decision-making and overall business is a tremendous blessing. No part of me is even remotely annoyed by this. I should be sending him a thank you card for allowing me the opportunity and blessing to serve him. I'm beyond grateful.

We are here to serve. Simply put, this is the base calling in our life. We can, of course, choose to ignore it, refuse it, or turn our back on it. From the moment we wake up until we go back to bed, our day is a never-ending string of serving opportunities. Our spouse, kids, co-workers, clients, customers, neighbors, and even strangers. Nearly every interaction in our life is an opportunity (or, dare I say, duty?) to serve others.

Think about the people in your life you're attracted to. No, not that kind of attraction. The kind of attracted that you want to be in their presence. The kind that makes you want to spend time with them. The kind that makes you want to be more like them. Chances are this person is a servant. Chances are one of the primary attributes that make you (and probably others) attracted to them is their willingness and heart to serve others.

I could most certainly wake up each day with the objective of getting what I want for myself. That option is on the table. In fact, I know a lot of people who live this way. This is just one man's opinion, but that feels like an empty-calorie type of life. It might taste good for a bit, but it's anything but satiating.

The posture of service, on the other hand, is an immensely fulfilling way to live. We might not always get what we want by continually serving others, but we actually get something better: meaning, impact, and purpose. That's the irony of service. We get fed by feeding others.

“You’re Being Stupid”

While writing yesterday's post, I found myself reflecting on my current life vs. my previous life. Specifically, I remember one critical conversation with a close, trusted friend as I was on the verge of making the transition. "You're being stupid." Well, that wasn't the exact quote. The exact quote included an f-bomb in the middle......for emphasis, of course! Let's just say this friend thought I was making a life-altering mistake. I don't blame him, though. Taking a 90% pay cut to start your career over while trying to make ends meet may, in fact, qualify as "stupid." 

I wouldn't trade my current life for all the money in the world. The funny thing is, though, my life doesn't look anything like I drew it up on the playbook:

• I have a bunch of awesome coaching clients (that was the only part I knew I would do).

• People pay me to speak at their events (still weird to me!).

• I have the honor of sharing the Meaning Over Money message on podcasts and in my writing (one of the greatest honors of my life).

• I get the surprise privilege of partially owning and jointly operating a coffee company (that wasn't on my bucket list bingo card).

• I have a wonderful corporate client in Texas that I enjoy immensely.

• Though all these things take up a ton of time, I have a lot of flexibility to parent my boys and invest in them. 

In other words, I'm blessed beyond belief. It's easy to look back now and say my decision was the right thing to do. However, there were many times when it felt like the scariest thing in the world. Never mind all the people in my life who told me how terrible a decision I was making. "You're being a bad husband and father" was another fun comment made to me by a trusted friend. Ouch!

People's opinions matter. Their wisdom is valuable. We should seek out the insight of those we trust. Yes, all of those things. But ultimately, we need to make the best decision for our family......even if it's the opposite of what culture says is right. If I was feeling a bit more rowdy, I may even suggest, "especially if it's the opposite of what culture says is right." 

If you want what everyone else has, do what they do. If you want the opposite of what everyone else has, do the opposite. Ultimately, it comes down to values.....your values. 

I recently had a drink with my friend who told me I was stupid for leaving my career. We had a great time. Lots of reminiscing and lots of laughs. In the middle of the chat, he added, "You did the right thing." I'm not sure I needed that from him, but I think I needed that from him. Thanks, my man!

Follow meaning, even if it's hard. No, strike that. Especially if it's hard. 

I Miss This

Last night, I enjoyed a fun and relaxing dinner with my client. There were seven of us, and it was just a flat-out enjoyable experience. When these moments happen, my first thought is always, "I miss this." While I'm not technically an employee, it feels like I am. These people mean something to me. I enjoy my time with them. It's fun working together to achieve a shared goal. Of all the things I lost when I left my prior career, this is the one I miss the most. I miss the camaraderie. I still get some of this in my new work life, but it's different. 

In my keynote, I venture into the behavioral science of money and happiness. In short, once our needs are met, money WON'T make us much happier. That's been proven again and again. However, there are three things that clearly drive happiness:

• Generosity

• Work that matters

• Relationships

If that's true, it's no surprise why I feel the way I do about spending time with these people. Relationships are like oxygen. I think people grossly underappreciate the importance of relationships in the workplace. Some people even advise against having relationships with co-workers. I've heard it referred to as the separation of work and life. I couldn't disagree more. We shouldn't separate work and life…..we should integrate it. Work is part of life. After all, our work accounts for literally half our waking hours. 

I believe work relationships are the secret sauce. In the absence of these meaningful relationships, nothing is holding us to a job. Without relationships, there's no reason we wouldn't leave for even a $500/year raise. Without relationships, we become a free agent looking for the highest bidder. 

One last thought. Whenever I ask someone what they like most about their job (whether they love it or hate it), the first answer given almost always revolves around relationships. Is that telling? Conversely, whenever I ask someone what they dislike most about their job (whether they love it or hate it), the first answer given almost always revolves around relationships. Is that telling?

Here's my takeaway today. Don't take your work relationships for granted. They can and should add a richness to your life. We are better people because of them. Don't miss out on that opportunity. 

“Am I Excited to Go Home?”

Last night, I was blessed with a chance airplane encounter with my awesome friends, Brett and Tracy (and family). They are on their way to a wonderful-sounding vacation at a tropical destination. That sounds pretty nice when contrasted with the weather we're about to experience here in the Midwest. While waiting for the plane to take off, I texted Tracy, jokingly asking her to give me some ideas for blog content she could enjoy at the pool each morning. She didn't take the bait……perhaps she doesn't want to spend her vacation absorbing random ideas from my brain. Today's post is written with her vacation in mind, though!

Vacations are an excellent barometer for life. Not the vacation itself, but rather one key question we should ask ourselves while we're in the midst of a beautiful trip. "Am I excited to go home?" If we're vacationing well, we should be creating lifelong memories, making bad (or shall I say good?) food choices, relaxing, and carving out new adventures. But at some point, it comes to an end. And when it does, we'll soon transition back to our normal day-to-day life. When that happens, what goes through your mind? Is it dread? Fear? Tolerance? Ambivalence? Anxiety? Stress? Pessimism? Or on the other side of the coin, is it excitement? Hope? Passion? Encouraged? Optimism? 

The answer can and should be telling. Let's say your answer to the question is positive. You're looking forward to going home and resuming life. If that's the case, congrats! You're winning! I don't even care what your life looks like, what you do for a living, how much money you have, or your status. If you look forward to going home and living your life, you've already won! Millions of people would be jealous of your life. 

If your answer to the question leans negative, it's time to look in the mirror. If we need to escape our life in order to get through our life, it's a sign that something needs to change. Yes, vacations should be amazing……but vacations aren't life. They are what we do when we temporarily pause life. And the consequence of pausing is that we eventually need to unpause. When we do, our life is still our life, and we are still us. That's the problem with vacations. They don't actually change anything. We can leave our life, but we can't escape it. Ultimately, we must live in the reality we've created for ourselves. 

If you have a negative answer, I have a few follow-up questions for you:

• What part(s) of your life triggers a negative response? Work? Family? Marriage? Finances? Friends? Other?

• What alternative reality would make you shift your answer from negative to positive?

• What changes can you immediately make to begin this shift?

Next time you're on a fun vacation, try this exercise. But warning: Once you look in the mirror and see the truth, you just may have to take action. And you'll be grateful you did!

Cultural Narratives: College Edition

In yesterday's post, I discussed the importance of seeing through false cultural narratives. I framed the post through the lens of common misunderstandings around the stock market. However, I listed a handful of other cultural narratives wreaking havoc on our society. One raised more than a few eyebrows: "It's impossible to attend college without student loans."

Oh, this is a good one! And by good, I mean toxic and destructive. In my work, student loan debt is one of the top factors ripping people's lives apart. It's not uncommon to see $40,000-$100,000 of student loan debt......per person! I have a lot of empathy for people in these situations, for a few reasons:

• Student loans are the only debt that's non-bankruptable. The only way out is to die. That doesn't feel like "good" debt to me. 

• Student loans are torching people's ability to live a meaningful life. Instead of pursuing work that matters, people must pursue work that pays the inflated bills.

• It's not their fault! It's easy to blame people for their student loan debt, but they were only 17 or 18 when these decisions were made. They likely didn't understand the future consequences and implications. In most cases, the blame primarily lies on the parents. Parents don't trust their teens to stay at home alone for the weekend, but the very next day, they trust their kids to freely make a life-altering decision that will implode their financial life for decades.

Kids deserve better. My kids deserve better, and your kids deserve better! Luckily, better is available. Yes, college is expensive. There's no way around that. The cultural narrative is that the only way to go to college is via student loans. It's a lie! I'll explain why. First, it's essential to break things down so we can look at them from a different perspective. 

In-state public universities in my state cost approximately $24,000/year. Some states are more, and some are less. I'm using public, in-state as my example, as it's a common and accessible option. We can make other choices, such as community college, trade school, out-of-state universities, and private colleges, but all choices have consequences (good and bad). 

That's a lot of money, for sure. But we aren't going to pay $24,000/year. Most schools have an array of in-house scholarships to offer. In my state, most students will end up paying +/- 80% of sticker price, or $19,200ish. 

That's still a lot of money. Let's break it down further. This equates to $1,600/month over 12 months. Ok, now we're getting somewhere. That's a lot, but attainable. Once we know this number, we have an array of options to pay for it:

• Savings

• College fund

• Parents' monthly budget

• Student work

• Other scholarships

• And several other options. 

We don't need them all.....we just need some combination of them to total $1,600/month. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's 100% attainable for most families. And countless kids/families are doing it!

Methodically and intentionally piece together $1,600/month, or suffer for decades? The narrative pushes us to the latter, but we have the power to change the narrative.

Fear is a Thief

Fear is a thief. It sneaks in when we're not looking, attacks us from the inside out, and robs us of opportunity.

18 months ago, my family took a trip to Mall of America, in part, to hang out at their indoor amusement park. It was a wonderful time. We went on a ton of rides, enjoyed too much food, and made awesome memories. The kids were oddly brave, though. Finn was game for any ride he could access, and Pax only made a few exceptions. We made a return trip there this weekend. Given how amazing the first experience was with a couple five-and-a-half-year-olds, I assumed it would be even better with 7-year-olds. Boy, I was wrong! Finn was a bit more hesitant, but Pax had zero desire to try any decent ride. Fear had taken hold of him, and it all but crippled his ability to enjoy the park. It was so frustrating! Fear robbed him of his fun weekend of rides.

About an hour before leaving for home, Pax decided to give the main rollercoaster a shot…….and he loved it! He wanted to go again and again, but time had simply run out. It was too late. He was proud that he overcame the fear, but was frustrated about the trip being over. Without even knowing it, fear snuck into him and got him all twisted up. This happens to us, too. Most of us are struck by fear most days. What we do with it, however, is what matters. If we let the fear take over, it wins. We'll cower, stop in our tracks, and/or retreat. If we refuse to let fear win, it doesn't mean the fear will necessarily go away. Instead, we persevere through the fear, doing what must be done. I once heard someone define courage like this: "Courage isn't the lack of fear, but action in the face of fear." We have two choices: let the fear win, or keep moving forward.

In a country with unprecedented freedoms where 70% of people dislike or hate their jobs, it can be a real head-scratcher. Whenever I spend time with someone who hates their job, I ask lots of questions. "What makes you stay at a job you hate?" That's my favorite. This question gets to the heart of what's really going on. There's always a reason, but is it a rational reason? Is it a fixable reason? Is it a conscious reason? You know what the #1 reason people give me is? Fear. Fear of change. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown.

Fear will rob us of what matters most……if we let us. I can't even begin to describe the amount of fear I felt at the prospect of leaving my career and taking a 90% pay cut when I had two 3-year-olds and a wife who stayed home. It almost crippled me…..almost. It's still scary (Every. Single. Day.), but so worth it!

Don't let fear steal your calling.

The Next Peak, Not THE Peak

Last night, I had a fun exchange with Meaning Over Money co-founder, Cole Netten. Since we rarely see each other anymore, most of our conversations happen on the phone after our kids go to bed (utterly exhausted, I might add). As we discuss upcoming content and the recording/editing schedule, he mentions he's heading to KC in the morning.

Intrigued, I asked him to share more about the trip. He explains he's shooting the MNF post-game press conference for ESPN. What?!?! He'll be chilling with Patrick Maholmes, Andy Reid, and countless other Chiefs players in the press room! If that's not cool enough, he said he has a second job earlier in the evening. "Taylor Swift Duty." Progressively more intrigued, I asked him to clarify. His job is to camp inside the stadium and get a shot of her when she enters. It sounds like she might not be in attendance, so that piece may not materialize. What a cool and unique opportunity, though!

He capped off this portion of the conversation by saying, "This might be the peak." I couldn't disagree more with him, and I immediately said that. He just turned 30 last week, he's still honing his craft, and his experience/relationships are just now taking shape. He's not anywhere close to his peak. This might be a peak, but it's not THE peak. In fact, I'd argue this most recent peak is closer to his floor than it is to his eventual peak (which likely won't be attained for a few more decades).

In some ways, it reminds me of the stock market. It's easy to look at a chart and think to ourselves, "Wow, it's really high! This feels like the peak." That may be true, but it's not THE peak. It's just the next peak. The image below is a great example of that concept. In 2007, the US stock market was at an all-time 140-year high. It felt like the peak as it was happening. It was, indeed, a peak. But it wasn't THE peak. It was just the next peak. Fast forward 16 years from that bougie-feeling all-time high, and we're now approximately 3x higher!

This is Cole's career! He hasn't even sniffed his potential yet. He's shooting for ESPN at Arrowhead Stadium, capturing clips of one of the best football players to ever live, standing watch to get a shot of one of the greatest musical performers to ever live, and he hasn't even scratched the surface of his potential. This isn't the end. This is the beginning. He's 30 years old. He still has 40-50 good years left in his epic career.

The same goes for you! I hope you're crushing it. I hope you're hitting new peaks. I hope every step is a step worth celebrating. But just remember. It's not THE peak. It just the next peak. Your best is yet to come! Hold on and enjoy the ride.....it's going to be fun!

Kyle Has the Secret

I have a friend named Kyle. I don't see Kyle all that much, but we go on a boat ride together once every summer. He's the kind of guy you can't not like. He's generous, gracious, and just a lot of fun to talk to. He's the kind of guy who has a working knowledge of far more topics than any one person should have. Anyway, I was thinking about my most recent boat ride with Kyle.

Kyle is at the age where retirement is at the forefront. Society tells him he should retire. His age tells him he should retire. His peers probably tell him he should retire. His bank account also likely tells him he should retire. He's had a lengthy and successful career. By all accounts, he should be retiring.....but he's not. Instead of pursuing a life of leisure, he continues to wake up each morning and head to the office. Counter-cultural, I know.

So, as we're cruising into the sunset on his boat, I asked him about the retirement elephant in the room. He gave me the most beautiful answer. I won't quote him, as I don't remember his exact words, so I'll paraphrase. In short, Kyle told me that his life is better because of his work. Not because of the money that comes from the work, but because of the actual work itself. He said he could easily retire, financially speaking, but he doesn't want to. His work is too valuable to him. His newfound passion was investing his time, energy, experience, and wisdom into the younger generation. His eyes light up when he talks about the young professionals developing their careers. He speaks of the fulfillment he gets pouring into them and helping them grow.

Imagine a world where your life would be worse off if you didn't have your work. That sounds like a perverted Twilight Zone episode in today's culture. It's so far-fetched that most people wouldn't believe you if you told them.

We live in a society filled with jealousy. Jealousy over houses, cars, celebrity, status, power, partners.....and the list goes on. If you really want something to be jealous of, you should be jealous of Kyle. He's unlocked something truly special. He's living a significantly meaningful life. I have good news, though! What Kyle has isn't reserved for the fortunate few. It's an opportunity we each have in front of us.....if we're willing to pursue it.

Sometimes, it's easy. Other times, it's one of the hardest things we'll do. But in either case, it's worth it. I can't speak to how easy or hard it was for Kyle to find it, but I know he doesn't take it for granted. He knows what he found, and he embraces it as he should. For this reason, I deeply admire Kyle and pray I can navigate my journey to be where he is when I'm his age.

Work that matters. Always work that matters.

Knowing When to Say “No”

If you're someone with variable income (wage, commission, bonuses, solopreneur, freelancer, or business owner), there's an obvious upside. When you work more or produce more, you make more. Work more hours, get a larger paycheck. Sell more widgets, get a better commission/bonus. Serve another client, get another revenue stream. There's a direct correlation between your work and your compensation.

There's a shadow side to this, of course. It can be extremely difficult to say "no." If we have the potential to make a sell, we're inclined to do it. If we have the opportunity to grab some overtime hours, we're inclined to do it. If we have the opportunity to take on a new project, we're inclined to do it. While each of these scenarios means we'll likely make more money, there's a very real cost to it. It can cost us our time, stress, energy, physical/mental health, and opportunities to be with our loved ones. But it’s so hard to say “no”!

All these factors combine for one difficult journey. This is the battle millions of people face each day. And to be honest, many of us are losing the battle. This has been an ongoing conversation between Cole and me in our office for several years. We're both freelancers with wives who stay at home. Translation: there's a constant underlying pressure to provide financially. At the same time, we feel the responsibility to be present for our families and play other critical roles inside and outside our homes.

Last night, we went trick-or-treating with Cole's family. We had a great time despite the weather feeling like we were in the dead of winter. As we were walking from house to house, Cole revealed that he said "no" to a highly lucrative shooting gig for earlier that day. It was a hefty sum of cash for a single day's work. It's also worth noting that Cole loves that work. However, he said "no." He wanted to prioritize spending time with his family in preparation for their Halloween celebrations.

In years past, I'm not sure he would have declined such a gig. For this reason, I really admired his decision. This is a consequence of excellence. The better you serve people, the more people want to be served.....and are willing to pay more for the privilege. It's a constant battle, but a good battle.

Each of us must make our own choices along the journey. Saying "yes" is important. It's how we financially provide for our families, as well as add value to others. It's using our gifts and time to make a difference in this world. Saying "yes" is a noble endeavor. However, are we willing to say "no" when needed? Are we able to create boundaries to protect what's most important? Are we able to walk away from money when other things are more important?

This is the tension between meaning and money. It's a delicate dance, but I hope you win more times than you lose. Never forget the meaning. Always meaning over money.

Finding Purpose in Crappy Work

After giving a talk yesterday, one of the young men in the audience asked a fantastic question. He asked how one would pursue work that matters if they didn't have the financial means to take care of themselves while trying to pursue it.

I have two answers for this. First, pursuing work that matters typically doesn't require us to be poor. It requires that we're honest with ourselves about what meaningful work might look like.....then pursue it. The goal shouldn't be more money, but rather enough money. That's where people unintentionally hold themselves back. Several of my friends are on the edge of leaving their jobs to go full-time in their dreams. However, one thing is holding them back. They want to make "as much" in their new job as they do in their current job before transitioning. This is the consequence of anchoring. They are anchoring expectations to a specific number....an arbitrarily high number. Instead, they should be targeting enough. Enough to pay the bills. Enough to keep the train on the tracks. Enough to keep building their dream.

Sometimes, though, we have a dream that, for whatever reason, doesn't pay the bills right away. Maybe it's nothing.....until it's everything. Maybe there's a building process that requires us to start at zero. We aren't able to make the jump just yet. How do we survive the "nothing" stage? This is where crappy work can come into play. It's work that doesn't necessarily provide us with meaning. We don't wake up every day excited for what we're about to do. It just kinda sucks....but it pays the bills.

This can be the beauty of crappy work. Many of us have had or are in crappy jobs. You know exactly what I'm talking about! Without purpose or a plan, these jobs will suck the life out of us. Day in and day out, we put our time into a job that doesn't fill our tank. However, one tweak has the power to change everything. If we know what we're striving for, and have a plan, this crappy work can become the fuel to make it happen. If the income derived from this less-than-satisfying job can be put towards the dream, this crappy job suddenly feels a lot less crappy. We're building toward something.

I remember my first taste of this concept back in high school. I was getting up at 4AM on Sundays for an 8-hour shift at a cheese factory. It was anything but enjoyable. However, the income I made at that job served a bigger purpose at the time. I remember having very specific plans, which gave purpose to an otherwise purposeless high school job.

Some of you are there right now. You might be in a crappy job, but at the same time, know where you ultimately want to be. I want you to get there. But in the meantime, that crappy job may be the world's biggest blessing. Harness that for good! You deserve it.

The Sunday Scaries

Happy Sunday! Depending on what time of day you're reading this, your mood could be vastly different. Studies show that 4PM on Sunday is the most depressing hour of the week. The fun weekend is almost complete, and now our brain is shifting its attention to tomorrow. And considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job, the mere thought of Monday makes most people cringe. Some refer to it as the Sunday Scaries.

Whether we know about the 4PM on Sunday statistic or not, we know about the Sunday Scaries. It's all around us. We either feel it, know someone close to us who feels it, or see it manifest in our culture. The concept that Monday sucks is ubiquitous in our society. It leaks out through our cultural pores. Movies, music, TV, social media. Dread and Mondays go together like peanut butter and jelly. I often think about the song, Migraine, by Twenty One Pilots. Check out this verse:

Thank God it's Friday, 'cause Fridays will always

be better than Sundays, 'cause Sundays are my suicide days.

I don't know why they always seem so dismal.

Thunderstorms, clouds, snow, and a slight drizzle.

The Sunday Scaries stick with us, too. I was talking to a friend last night when she made a specific reference to her Sunday Scaries. Hers are not caused by what she will do on Monday, but rather what she used to do on Mondays decades ago. That's right. She used to dread Mondays so much that it's tainted the mere idea of Mondays decades later. That's how engrained the Sunday Scaries can be.....almost like it gets into our blood.

Here's the good news. We CAN reverse this curse. If 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job, that means 30% like or love their job. And if they do, so can you! I hope you get to a point in life where Monday is your favorite day of the week. A life where weekends are fun, but Mondays are full of promise, meaning, and impact. That reality does exist. I promise you that.

However, there's a catch. There's always a catch. In order to attain it, we typically must stop pursuing more. More money, more stuff, and more status. It doesn't mean we'll be poor or have little; rather, it means we're chasing after something different....something better. Work that matters.

I have a memory seared into my brain. I was having a beer with a friend one Sunday afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and we were enjoying a cold drink on a patio. All the while, he looked miserable. His eyes looked tired, borderline lifeless. He was suffering from the Sunday Scaries. I asked him point blank if all his stuff and bank accounts were worth it. He half-heartedly nodded his head yes, but he looked unsure. Fast forward many years, and he still has that same look in his eyes.

Sunday Scaries are a choice. I choose a life without them. How about you?

It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense

I love, love, love when people make decisions that fly in the face of our prevailing culture. Decisions that make people scratch their heads. Decisions that cause our loved ones to question our sanity. Decisions that lead others to talk behind our backs.

One of my friends recently made such a decision. As he was living out the final years of his career, he decided to make a drastic shift. He was perched at the helm of a fairly prestigious position at a notable institution, presumably set to coast out the remaining few years of his career in comfort before riding off into the sunset.

Today, he's settling into a new career at a new organization. Instead of coasting in comfort, he's diving head-first into discomfort. He could have taken an easy path toward the finish line, but he's choosing the road less traveled. This was a significantly counter-cultural decision, which was not lost on him as he contemplated his next steps.

Does he regret it? Did he make a mistake? Did it blow up in his face? I recently had the opportunity to ask him about it. He couldn't be happier! He's challenged in entirely new ways and, in a sense, starting over. This is the irony of pursuing meaning. In one hand, there is comfort, ease, and security. In the other hand, there is discomfort, challenge, risk, and stress.......oh yeah, and meaning! Meaning rarely comes with the prior, and almost always comes with the latter.

I hope I have his courage when I reach that point in my career. The world says to coast to the finish line (as quickly as possible). My friend said, "Nah, I prefer meaning." Well, he probably didn't actually say that, but in my mind, that's what he said.

I can't wait to see how the next chapter in his story is written! It doesn’t have to make sense. The best stories rarely do.

It’s About More Than the Product

Though I'm firmly cemented in the dot com generation (and live fully into all of the stereotypes), there's nothing better to me than a good old-fashioned newspaper. Sitting down with a paper and a coffee is my definition of relaxation. After a two-year hiatus, I recently decided to subscribe to a print newspaper. In my opinion, the Wall Street Journal is the most well-rounded, unbiased publication on the market. Therefore, that was my paper of choice.

The first day of delivery was glorious! Unlike the last time I subscribed, it showed up right at my doorstep (instead of me having to play Where's Waldo around a 3-house radius). I had my paper. I had my coffee. I had my relaxation. I was one happy man.....for a few days.

Then, something happened. I quickly realized the paper was getting delivered at 8:30 or 9:00 AM, significantly later than desired. Not only did I not get to read it while relaxing before work, but I didn't even have the opportunity to take it with me. To make matters worse, the weekend edition gets delivered one day late. I wake up on Saturday morning to enjoy my weekend reading, only to realize there is none. I'm already at church by the time they deliver it on Sunday. Therefore, I don't even see the weekend edition until Sunday afternoon.

Ok, rant over. Sorry, didn't mean to cry a river there. Here's where I'm going with this. The Wall Street Journal is a wonderful paper. I very much enjoy the Wall Street Journal. It's worth every penny I pay for it. HOWEVER, it's about more than the product. Even if the product is amazing (like the WSJ), the other aspects of the relationship matter just as much. Despite having a significantly superior product (my opinion) at a reasonable price (also my opinion), it's simply not worth it if they don't deliver it promptly.

It makes me think about Apple. I love Apple products. While Apple makes some of the best products in the world, it's about more than the product. From the unique layout and structure their retail stores, to the streamlined user-interface experience, to the unparalleled customer service. Did I mention the packaging?!?! Have you ever unboxed an Apple product? That experience alone is amazing. Apple understands it's about more than the product. Apple understands you need a world-class product AND excellence in all the other areas around it.

I think about this idea a lot. While we're trying to be excellent, work hard, and make an impact, what are we missing? Do we deliver good work but show up late every day? Are we good to work with but terrible to work for? Do we get our work done quickly, but it's full of errors? Do we make stellar choices on our big financial decisions but squander it away on all the little ones? Do we have a glaring blind spot amidst otherwise excellent work?

Something to think about today.

Earning the Right: Part 2

In yesterday’s post, I discussed the importance of making enough money to pay the bills. If we earn “enough,” we get the right to do it again next month. For this reason, money isn’t irrelevant in the meaning over money dynamic. Earning enough money affords us the opportunity to continue walking down the path of meaning in our day-to-day lives. My inbox has been flooded with responses. The most prevalent feedback is from people who “feel bad” about charging for their work when they love it so much. They would probably do it for free if they could. But that’s the problem. To continue serving others with their beautiful gifts, they must charge enough to keep the financial train on the tracks. Therefore, charging a reasonable price for their work is a good and noble thing. If we believe this, it changes everything!

Today’s post is a different angle on this “earn the right” concept. It’s one thing to charge people for your work, but another for people to want what you’re selling. Just because you say something is worth $x, it doesn’t mean it is. The tell is whether people want to pay you what you say it’s worth. If they do, it is….if they don’t, it’s not. Again, this is an earned privilege. We must add more value to the customer than what we charge them. If we do that, they will likely be happy. That’s only the first half of the equation, though. Let’s say someone trusted us enough to exchange their hard-earned money for our product/service. The next question is, did we earn the right to serve them again? It’s one thing to try something once, but it’s an entirely different thing to go back again, and again, and again. That requires us to add value, exceed expectations, treat them well, and build trust…..then repeat.

Later today, I’ll be delivering a talk in Los Angeles. It’s a slightly different version of the talk I did in June for the same organization. I’m also scheduled to do it a third time in January. I’m tremendously grateful for the opportunity, and I don’t take it for granted. I know for a fact this wouldn’t have happened had I not earned the right to do it again. If I performed poorly the first time, or was difficult to work with, or simply wasn’t perceived as “worth it,” I wouldn’t be here. They know that and I know that. Every time I step up to the plate, whether it’s a talk, a podcast, a blog post, or a coaching meeting, I’m giving it my best in hopes of earning the right to do it again. If I publish crappy blog posts, you’ll stop reading. If I produce lame podcast episodes, listeners will unsubscribe. If I deliver a bad talk, I won’t get invited again. And if I don’t serve my coaching clients well, they will fire me (and rightfully so!).

Every day, we must earn the right to serve them again.

Earning the Right: Part 1

The idea that "money doesn't matter" is naive at best, and misleading at worst. Even in the world of Meaning Over Money, it doesn't mean meaning=100 and money=0. Here's why. At the end of the day, we need to feed our families. We live in a world that requires us to financially care for ourselves. Failing to do so has some pretty dire consequences.

As such, living a life full of meaning, but failing to provide the basic needs for our family, flat-out doesn't work. It's a recipe for disaster. Yeah, I'm all about the pursuit of meaning. However, if we can't figure out how to pay the bills in the process, we lose the right to pursue this path. Completely disregarding money isn't the answer.

Three factors are at play when building a sustainable, meaningful life. We must combine our skills, with our passions, in a way that's profitable. Skills and passion without profit is a hobby. Passion and profit without skills will lead to failure. Skills and profit without passion will result in a job we merely tolerate (or worse). But if we can combine all three? That's a beautiful situation. When I say "profitble," I'm not suggesting we need to be Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. Rather, I'm suggesting we make enough.

Enough. What does "enough" even mean? To me, it means earning the right to do it again. When I make enough this month, I earn the right to serve those who I wish to serve again next month. This is so important, and this is why so many entrepreneurs, freelancers, and solopreneurs fail. They don't fail because they are bad at their craft. They fail because they didn't earn the right to keep doing their craft.

The meaning over money angle comes into play in the curation of our lifestyle, which determines what enough is. Suppose we lean too much into the materialistic side of things. More debt, more expenses, more obligations. In that case, we raise the financial bar so high that we don't have a chance to combine skills, passions, and profit in a way that's enough. Therefore, our desire for stuff ultimately overpowers our pursuit of meaning. I see this happen again, and again, and again.

So next time you find yourself struggling to charge what you're worth or creating a revenue from your skills and passions, just remember you're not being selfish or greedy. You’re trying to earn the right to continue doing it. If you don't, you rob yourself and those who you serve. So, you charging what is fair and just is a noble, good thing. It's the prerequisite to the path of meaningful work. Don't be scared of that....embrace it!

You Have Two Choices Today

It's scientifically proven that 4PM on Sunday afternoon is the most depressing hour of the week. We've had a fun weekend, had lots of good food, spent time with people we care about, and haven't thought too much about work. But the weekend is winding down, and we realize tomorrow is quickly approaching. Considering 70% of Americans dislike or hate their jobs, the reminder of tomorrow is a sobering moment! Thus, 4PM is the most depressing hour of the week.

As you begin your Monday, you have two choices. First, you can choose misery. I get it. You don't like your job, you don't feel adequately paid, your boss is a jerk, you don't feel like you're making a difference, and/or it bores you to death. Most people can relate to some combination of those feelings. Your mere presence at work feels depressing. You'd rather be anywhere but there. You count down the time, find ways to distract yourself, and do whatever it takes to numb the feelings until it's time to go home. That's option 1.

Here's the second option. You can choose to be grateful for your work. Whatever you're getting paid, you can be grateful for the opportunity to make a living today. Instead of dwelling on how much the job sucks, you can consider the value you add to other people's lives. Your customers, your co-workers, and your bosses. You can think about the broader mission you're helping to accomplish, and the lives being impacted.

It's about whether the glass is half full or half empty. Our perspective of the glass can be a massive driver of how we feel about our jobs. If we believe our work is good, even if the job kinda sucks, it will provide some level of fulfillment. A slight shift in perspective can change everything. Alternatively, we can dwell on the negative and spin ourselves into a hole of pity and misery. This is where many live.....and I've been there! These are the choices you have today. Two choices with two vastly different outcomes.

Taking a step back, you have bigger choices to make. Do you really want to wake up in that same job tomorrow? If not, you have a different sort of choice to make. Remember, not making a choice is still a choice. If you really hate your work, today is a great day to start finding something different. Put yourself out there. Risk getting ignored. Risk having a bad interview. Risk getting turned down. Risk starting a new job that also sucks. Risk it, because the risk is worth it.

But today? Today, you have two choices. You can approach your day with a positive attitude, and possibly have a good, fulfilling, productive day. Or you can approach your day with misery, all but guaranteeing a terrible, empty, and exhausting day.

I encourage you to choose optimism.....then get about the business of finding something that better suits you. You deserve it!

Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

Meaning doesn't pay the bills, or so I'm told. When I advocate for pursuing meaning over money, I typically receive criticism. I get called privileged, naive, short-sighted, and sometimes stupid.

However, I think there's a misunderstanding about this entire meaning vs. money conversation. We don't have to choose between meaning and money. I'm just asking people to choose meaning. If we choose money, there's a chance we find it. If we choose meaning, we will absolutely find it.....and we may even find some money along the way. Here's why. When we pursue meaning, we're likely pouring our blood, sweat, tears, gifts, passions, and energy toward something we believe in. If that's true, we can't help but have some level of success.

This is a significantly better outcome than waking up each day to tolerate or despise what we're about to do. In other words, most people who pursue meaning will ultimately make more money (in the long run) than those who simply chase the money. It's one of the greatest ironies of work and money. Choosing meaning does NOT condemn us to a life of poverty. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're neglecting our family. Choosing meaning does NOT mean we're going to live a difficult life. I'd argue the opposite, actually.

There's a reason I brought this topic up today. Just this week, two of my clients experienced major job shifts. In an effort to pursue meaning, both accepted jobs that better align with their values and definitions of meaning. Oh yeah, they both received $20,000+ annual increases from what they previously made. So they both have more meaningful work AND make more money doing it.

Fear. Fear is typically the biggest obstacle in pursuing meaning. Change is hard. A known terrible is still better than a likely (but uncertain) good. It's like drinking semi-rotten milk. It tastes awful, and the alternative is probably much better, but there's also a chance it could be completely rotten. People would rather sip on their tolerable semi-rotten milk, and know what they're getting, than take a small risk that it could be worse. That's the funny thing about us humans. We fear a negative outcome far more than we get excitable for a positive outcome. The fear of the unknown is always worse than the reality of the known.....even when the known absolutely sucks.

I'm thrilled my clients were willing to take that chance. They had the courage and the conviction to make a drastic change, and they are mightily blessed because of it. They wake up each day excited for what they're about to do AND make more money for their families. It's a beautiful outcome to a very intentional decision. The decision to simply choose meaning. I couldn't love it more!