The Secret Superpower of Women

Let me set the stage for you. I was recently in a leadership-level meeting with one of my clients. Maybe eight people were around the table, and we were discussing various aspects of the business. We found ourselves debating a financial principle, and there was some disagreement around the room.

As I was whiteboarding the idea to visualize it, someone mentioned how I was attempting to prove that I was right. I responded, "I'm not in the business of being right, but getting it right." I'm telling this story because of what he said next: "Everyone wants to be right. We all have pride."

He's not wrong, which is the problem. So many of us are in the business of being right, which comes at the expense of getting it right. 15 years ago, I probably would have fallen into this trap. I wanted to be right....badly. But I quickly learned my desire to be right hurt myself and everyone else involved. We can be right if we wish to, but it often means we're getting it wrong.

Luckily, I've been able to drastically shift gears and priorities. I don't often care about being right. I desperately want to get it right. I still have strong opinions, but I try to hold them loosely. This is one of the benefits of pursuing discomfort and failure. If we venture into scary waters, we're bound to find ourselves in positions where we don't necessarily know the answers. That's when we have an opportunity to shift our perspective and focus on the getting it right part.

This concept reminds me of one of our podcast episodes, published more than two years ago. The episode's focus was my case for why women are better at money than men. I believed it then, and that conviction has only grown since. I encourage you to listen to it by clicking the link above, but in case you don't, I'll summarize.

Men have two major flaws when it comes to money. First, they often use money as a scorecard....a measuring stick.....a trophy. The more money they have (or the outward perception of having more), the more successful they are on the measuring stick of success. This leads men down some interesting roads, such as risky investments, flashy toys, and other publicly visible signals that they are winning. The second reason is simple: pride. Men are typically in the business of being right. There have been multiple instances of men who hire me, tell me I'm wrong, then decide to keep doing it the way they've always done it (despite those habits and corresponding results being what led them to hire me in the first place). They are in the business of being right. Us men greatly suffer from this affliction

Women, on the other hand, are generally in the business of getting it right. There's no pride. They know what they want, desire to learn how to get it, then execute. No show, just results. It's so refreshing. I want to be more like that!

Don't be right. Get it right.

The Gift of Struggle

It's been a whirlwind of a week. After spending four days in KC for a long Thanksgiving weekend, I was home for one day before jaunting off to Houston for the week. On Friday night, I flew to Minneapolis to meet Sarah and the boys at a hotel adjacent to Mall of America. I spent Friday night (swimming) and Saturday morning (indoor amusement park) with the family before emceeing a banquet later in the day. It was for Coldwater Foundation, a Christian wilderness ministry aimed at helping teens and college students (as well as groups of adults) grow in their leadership and faith by using the ruggedness and beauty of the Boundary Waters as the classroom. It's an organization that's been deeply personal to my life since experiencing it first-hand in 2015. since then, it's been a constant in my life, and I've been honored to serve on the board of directors for the past three years. The event was beautiful, the people were wonderful, and it was fun to celebrate all that Coldwater has, is, and will be doing.

One of the speakers was a mom who has sent multiple kids through Coldwater programs. She was giving a testimonial about Coldwater's impact on her family's life. In it, she made a profound and powerful statement. While discussing the immense challenge the Boundary Waters can provide, she explained how, in these moments of profound struggle, "our needs are simplified and magnified." Having been into the wilderness many times, her words cut right through me. So, so true. When the rain rolls in, we need a tarp to protect us from the elements. Very simple and very important. When we pull into camp after a long day of paddling, we need dry shoes/socks and a fire. Very simple and very important. When we get disoriented with the geography, we need a map and compass. Very simple and very important.

Let's contrast the wilderness with our daily lives. We generally live in comfort. A roof over our heads (with heat and A/C), food readily available, dry clothes in our closet, and convenient transportation. With comfort comes new "needs."

I "need" a new car.

I "need" a vacation.

I "need" the newest iPhone.

I "need" another pair of shoes.

When we bask in the comfort of our modern lives, we lose sight of what it means to truly need. Comfort breeds discontentment. Comfort leads us to take things for granted.

In the wilderness, I'm beyond grateful for any food. At home, I take for granted my pantry.

In the wilderness, a fire brings me life and great joy. At home, I take it for granted that I can set my environment to any temperature with the push of a button.

In the wilderness, I consider myself fortunate to have one extra set of dry clothes on me. At home, I take for granted an entire closet of clothes.

Embrace discomfort. Be grateful for struggle. It can be a gift.

As Much as We Bargained For

Picture this. I’m standing at the gate, waiting to scan my boarding pass and walk onto the plane. As I was about to scan my phone’s QR code, a man hurriedly walked around me and onto the jet bridge. The gate employee, equally confused as she was concerned, shouted at the man to stop. Annoyed, he retraced his steps to the gate, handed his boarding pass to the employee, and exclaimed, “I paid $1,500 for this motherf’ing ticket. I’m not waiting in line.” Without even taking his ticket back, he started toward the jet bridge. She again shouted at him to come back to gate-check his roller bag (since they had run out of overhead space on the plane). He ignored her command and scurried onto the aircraft with his bag in hand. When we got onto the plane, he discovered (shockingly!) that there were no spots for his bag. He was resourceful, though. His solution was to remove someone else’s bag and put his in their bag’s spot, randomly discarding the other person’s bag in the aisle. As you can imagine, this didn’t go over well. He was surprisingly allowed to stay on the flight, but I navigated my way back to my toilet-adjacent seat, where I’d luckily never have to see him again.

As I reflect on this man and his antics, I can’t help but think about how sometimes in life, we unreasonably expect more than we bargained for. Sporting events are a great example. Fans often act as though their ticket purchase includes the right to demean, berate, and abuse the referees, coaches, and players. We buy one thing and expect it to come with other fringe benefits. Like this airline passenger who believed his $1,500 ticket price earned him the right to board the flight whenever and however he wanted (with a side bonus of disrespecting everyone he encountered along the way).

I often think about this idea when buying products or services. Not the whole being a completely disrespectful jerk part, but the idea that I’m only getting what I’m getting. I try to think through what this product will and will not give me. Buying those Air Jordan’s may make me look cool, but they won’t make me jump higher. That fancy car may be a more comfy and satisfying ride than my aging Nissan Altima, but it won’t actually make me more important. The new iPhone will give me some added features (and perhaps run a bit smoother), but it won’t inherently make my life better.

There’s nothing wrong with any of these things, but we need to be honest with ourselves about what we’re getting…..and what we’re not. If we take a moment to sincerely think about it, we’ll likely make different decisions. This sounds silly and ridiculous to even point out (call me Captain Obvious), but we’ve all fallen for this trap.

Anyway, I hope you all have a better weekend than that airline passenger! Make the most of it!

When Six Doesn't Equal a Half Dozen

We live in a culture where everything is black and white. There's an absolute wrong, and an absolute right. The personal finance world is no different. It doesn't help when one of the biggest personalities in the financial space treats everything like you're an absolute idiot if you don't do exactly what he thinks you should do.

This is one of the reasons why so many people make poor financial choices. It's not that they are being negligent or dismissive, but rather because they are being given out-of-context financial advice from people with completely different situations. Context always matters.

I will regularly give seemingly conflicting financial advice to clients. Here's an example. One of my clients wondered if they should pause their 401(k) contributions while trying to pay off credit card debt. They absolutely should. Given their situation, not pausing these contributions would prolong this very painful debt payoff process by approximately 18 months. The very next day, I strongly recommended a different client not pause their 401(k) contributions while trying to pay off debt. The dynamics of their situation were far different, thus merited a completely different decision process.

Other times, decisions on the table seem like a six-of-one, half-dozen-of-another type situation. The decision can be seemingly inconsequential. Mathematically, that may be true. Behaviorally and psychologically, however, is an entirely different story.

Here's one scenario. One of my clients is a successful business owner. And like most business owners, taxes are a constant frustration. Each month, when they pay themselves from the business, they also take a chunk of cash and set it aside for taxes. They have a bunch of money sitting in their business checking account, and another block sitting in their tax savings account. Problem: they just realized they've undersaved for taxes and will owe more than they've already saved. This is causing a tremendous amount of undue stress.

If they had pulled more for taxes, they would be sitting with more money in their tax savings and less in their business checking account. Six of one, half dozen of another, right? It shouldn't be a problem.....but it is! Emotionally, it feels like a loss. Even though they are in the exact same financial situation either way, the psychological impact of having to "owe more money" for taxes is weighing on them.

Their solution was simple:

1) Immediately move a lump sum of cash from their business checking to their tax savings. That act alone relieved some stress.

2) Increase future monthly contributions into their tax savings account, to a degree that they will likely have excess after paying taxes.

While that's probably not the right choice for many people, this is an extremely wise decision for them. They understand their emotional and psychological quirks and have elected to manage accordingly.

As you venture through life, I encourage you to look through the lens of context. What's right for one family may not be right for you. Know yourself, understand the mission, and do what's best.

Small Habits Add Up

A few years ago, one of my friends on Facebook proclaimed that she successfully read 25 books in that calendar year. 25 books!?!? That seemed absolutely absurd to me. My immediate reaction was to DM her and ask the secret of her ways. She explained how simple it was. "I read 20 pages every morning." Great. What else? "That's it. 20 pages a day." Skeptically, I pulled out my calculator and did the math. If the average book is 300 pages, it will take 15 days to finish an entire book at 20 pages per day. That's two per month.....or 24 per year. Boom! I was shook.

On January 1st, I started a "do 1 more" pushup challenge with a bunch of other guys. The rules are simple. On the first of the year, do one pushup. On the second day of the year, do two pushups. And so on.....each day, do one more. By New Year's Eve, you'd do 365 pushups to end the year. If the plan is followed, you'd have completed approximately 67,000 pushups throughout the entire year. I fizzled out due to a shoulder injury, unfortunately (somewhere around day 45). I'm looking forward to trying again in 2024.

I also think about my dream of writing a book. The idea seems unattainable and far-fetched. After all, that's a TON of writing! Where will I find the time and the energy to write an entire book? Similar to the two examples above, small steps can produce tremendous results. This blog is a great example. On the heels of yesterday's one-year anniversary of publishing this blog daily (365 posts in 365 days!), my assistant, Alyssa, completed a project of aggregating all the posts into a single source document. What she found was staggering. It summed up to more than 156,000 words. 156,000!!! Considering the average non-fiction book is 50,000 words, we just published the equivalent of three entire books in a single calendar year. That's absurd! Well, there goes my false notion that writing a book is unattainable. I literally and unknowingly just did it.....three times in one year.

Small habits add up. This concept applies to most things in life. Financial goals, career goals, creative goals, content goals.....lots of goals! Paying off debt is the same concept. Saving up for a car is the same concept. Giving away a million dollars is the same concept. Feeding 100,000 hungry children is the same concept. Saving up for retirement is the same concept. Being promoted from entry-level to the C-suite is the same concept. Most things worth accomplishing require this concept to fully materialize.

Small habits, consistently applied for long periods of time, lead to massive results. It's a universal truth, and it's accessible to each of us. Figure out what yours are, and let's get started!

When Rules Are About More Than Rules

I love breakfast: fried eggs (sunny side up), toast/bagels, crispy bacon.....I could go on. I started intermittent fasting earlier this year to improve my health and sleep. The rules were simple. After I ate my last meal of the day, I'd start a 16-hour timer. When the timer expired, I'd begin eating again. It worked out to a 10AM-6PM eating window, then fasting between. Overall, I could see a significant improvement in my health, primarily driven by two main factors. First, I never realized how much I snacked at night out of boredom. That ended when I stopped consuming calories at 6PM. Second, I often enjoyed a bourbon at night after the kids went to bed. That also ended when I stopped consuming calories at 6PM. While I really enjoyed this habit, I didn't realize how much one drink impacted my sleep until I stopped.

However, I noticed something about this fasting practice. I found myself counting down and dwelling on the timer. I would rush dinner, so I could start the timer, so I could eat breakfast earlier. There was something mentally unhealthy about this rhythm. Therefore, I tweaked the rule. No more timers. Instead, I started eating dinner at a reasonable time (but not militant about when), then I wouldn't eat until after 12PM the next day. This is the practice I have today. I don't break this rule. No snacking or drinks after dinner. No calories before noon. No excuses.

It wouldn't significantly harm me if I cheated every now and then. It wouldn't hinder my progress. It wouldn't negate the good work I'm doing. However, one cheat is the gateway drug for the next. One creates two, and two creates twenty. The moment it's ok to cheat once is the moment cheating becomes normalized. I spent all last week in Midland, Texas, working at a client site. Each morning, as I'm walking from my hotel room to my truck (I have a big ol' truck in my Texas identity!), I stop at the breakfast buffet to grab a black coffee. It's the hardest part of my day. The eggs, bacon, biscuits, and gravy!!! I've walked by that same buffet maybe 30-40 mornings this year, but haven't taken a single bite of food. This discipline has propelled me in so many ways this year. It's a rule that's about more than a simple rule.

I'm a long-winded writer. One of the reasons I started this blog was to learn how to share a good idea in a compact package. As such, I had a very clear rule with myself. No article could be more than 500 words, period. There are days when I spend 30 minutes trying to condense a finished post from 520 words down to 500. I could easily click "publish" at 520 words, but that's the gateway drug to longer posts. First, it's 520, then 540, then 600. It's a rule that's about more than a simple rule.

Set rules. Honor them. Grow.

Caring Enough About Money

In my keynote talk, I spend a healthy amount of time discussing the science of money and happiness. In short, once our needs are met, money won't make us much happier. I go down several roads to make this argument, concluding that more money isn't the answer. 

There's a dilemma here, though. If more money, more stuff, and more status can't make us happier, should we disregard money altogether? There's an entire segment of our population who falls into this camp. These people simply don't care about money. It manifests differently in each person, but some common characteristics may include:

• Burning through your bank account via spending and perpetually having little-to-no money.

• Living an extremely frugal and/or minimalist lifestyle.

• Periodically giving away all of their resources.

• Inconsistent work patterns.

However, I want to focus on a different characteristic. It's the act of undercharging or being willfully underpaid for your work. This practice usually comes at the intersection of not caring about money and absolutely loving their work. You probably know someone in your life who fits this profile. They are incredibly passionate about their work, but don't have much in terms of resources. Our immediate response to these types of people is to think, "They are following their passion, so of course they don't make much money." 

I've done lots of business with these types of people. They are amazing people doing amazing work, but grossly undercharging. In fact, I used to be one of them! When I started my company in 2019, I charged about 1/4 of what I currently charge for my coaching services. This was a combination of not caring about money, loving my work so much, and perhaps a lack of confidence in some regard. 

As I was digging more into the science of money and happiness, coaching families and businesses, and trying to navigate my own business journey, I had an epiphany. I still held firm that money isn't all that important, but with one caveat. While we shouldn't dwell on the money, we need to care enough about money to continue our journey. 

Put another way, we need to financially earn the right to serve those who we wish to serve. When we do, we get to serve them again next time. If we don't, we may lose the right. This is one of the biggest pitfalls people can fall into. If they care too little about money, they may face financial pressures that will prevent them from living out their mission. 

I've seen too many brilliant people get knocked out of the game because they disregarded their finances. There's a bit of sad irony in there. They cared so little about money that they found themselves in a place where they dwelled on the money (out of the need to survive). 

No, don't obsess about money. But spend some time getting it right. Earn your right to keep serving those who you wish to serve. You deserve it, and the world deserves you!

Finding Our Blind Spots

I took my kids to their annual wellness check-ups yesterday. Considering blood draws and flu shots were involved, it was a train wreck. However, this won't be a rant on the futile attempts to get needles jammed into my kids' arms. It's what happened before the needle-stabbing incident that got me thinking.

We started with a simple eye test. You know the exercise. Cover one eye and read progressively shrinking lines of letters on the back wall. Pax was first up. He boldly and proudly read aloud each letter and finished with a big smile. Next, it was Finn's turn. As he read the letters, Pax, the doctor, and I all looked at each other in bewilderment. He didn't get a single one right. At first, I thought he was just clowning with us (which is totally a Finn thing to do). Then, he switched eyes and exclaimed, "Now, my good eye." Wait, what!?!? Good eye?!?! When I asked him what he meant, he responded, "This is my good eye, and this is my bad eye." Again, what!?!? He went on to nail every single letter on every single row. It was a humbling parenting moment, but up until today, I didn't know he had a "bad eye." Humbling....very humbling.

That brings me to the topic of blind spots. There are things in life we don't know. And the problem is, we don't know what we don't know. That's why they are blind spots. Turns out, one of my figurative blind spots is Finn's literal blind spot. Ouch. We have some work to do!

We all have blind spots, which can span many different areas of our lives. When sitting with a client, I can quickly pick up on their financial blind spots. Everyone has them, but there's one characteristic that determines what happens next: humility. If someone has humility, they can recognize, face head-on, and remedy their blind spots.....which often leads to some pretty transformational results. If they don't, they will most certainly carry their blind spot into the future.....which can lead to some dark places.

I used to have a blind spot with debt. My old way of thinking almost ruined my life. I used to have a blind spot with investing. My old way of thinking would have significantly hindered my progress. I used to have a blind spot with the connection between money and happiness. My old way of thinking likely would have led me down a dark and materialistic road.

I'm sure I still have plenty of blind spots, but I'm always willing to expose them and face them head-on....even if it hurts. It's uncomfortable in the moment, but we're so much better for it in the long run.

What are your blind spots? What areas of your life secretly hold you back from living a better life? Here's a scary but effective way to find out: Ask those closest to you...if you dare. They know. They know all too well......

Tangibility Bias

If you had $100, would you use it to:

1. Buy that object you've been wanting.

2. Give it to someone who is struggling.

3. Pay down a debt.

4. Save it for an upcoming expense.

5. Go out for a fun meal.

Let's up the ante. If you had $25,000, would you use it to:

1. Deposit it into your kid's college fund.

2. Give it away to a charitable organization.

3. Buy a vehicle.

4. Use it as a downpayment for a house.

5. Contribute to your retirement account.

In the first example, most people would buy the object or the meal. In the second example, most people would use it to buy a car or a house. It's not because these are right or wrong decisions. It's because of something subconscious. I've watched people make these decisions for years. Time and time again, I can guess what most people will do.

It's called tangibility bias. It's subconsciously prioritizing things we can see, touch, and feel. Houses, vehicles, and possessions all fit this category. People are allured to the idea of buying something they can physically see. Some of these things can be good things, but it often comes at the expense of other less tangible things. Things such as retirement investing, college funds, generosity, and future needs.

• It's why a person doesn't bat an eye at their $800 car payment, but "can't afford" to invest $200 into retirement. Never fret, though, as the car "is very reliable and will hold its value well." 

• It's why a person will go from spending 30% of their income on renting a house to buying a house where they are now spending 60% of their income on their house payment. All in the name of "not throwing away money on rent." 

• It's why a person will run to the nearest Apple store to drop $1,000+ on the newest iPhone, but perpetually has less than $100 in their emergency fund. 

All three of these are real stories. There's a lot going on in each, but tangibility bias is in full force. When spending money on items we can touch, see, and feel, we'll jump through all sorts of mental, emotional, psychological, and financial hoops. 

Speaking of financial hoops, this is one of the reasons why Americans are saddled with record-high credit card, auto, and mortgage debt. At the same time, we are more under-prepared for our kids' college and our retirement than ever before. 

This is the risk of tangibility bias. We can't touch, see, or feel these other items. However, in due time, we'll touch, see, and feel the pain and turmoil we set up for ourselves. Setting our children up to be crippled with student loans. Backing ourselves into a corner where we're forced to work full-time into our 70s or 80s just to pay the bills. Putting ourselves in a position where we are cash-strapped because of our car and house payments. 

Be aware of tangibility bias. As G.I. Joe once told me, knowing is half the battle!

Death to Girl Math, Death to Boy Math

There's a new social media trend that's both silly and worrisome. It was initially called "girl math," which highlighted some of the psychological games women play on themselves to justify financial decisions. Women quickly turned the tables and started highlighting some of the ridiculous psychological games men play on themselves. Here are a few examples:

• If you spend $100 at a store and get a $10 gift card in return, that's income.

• If something costs $5.99, we mentally round it down and consider it $5. Or if something costs $47, we round it down to $40.

• Shipping will cost $5, so we add a $10 item to get free shipping....meaning we "saved" $5.

• If something costs less than $5, it doesn't really count (because that's too small to matter).

• Tattoos are essentially free, as you'll have them the rest of your life. If you live another 50 years, a $100 tattoo costs about 1/2 cent per day.....i.e. it's free.

• If you were thinking about buying a $80 product and ultimately buy a $40 product instead, you made $40. 

These posts were pretty silly, but what made them go viral was the discovered reality that many of us play the exact same psychological games on ourselves. Over time, however, the idea of "boy math" and "girl math" has taken on a whole new life. Instead of being silly, these posts have become more demeaning and condescending. While much of this new stuff is pretty dark, I wanted to share one that nearly made me spit my coffee out in laughter. 

"Boy math is being afraid of gold diggers when you only have three pairs of socks to your name."

I digress. While the original idea of girl math and boy math are generally innocent, we should shine a light on the overarching risk here. We humans love to play psychological tricks on ourselves to justify our decisions. It's one thing to do it, but it becomes something even more significant when we start to normalize, rationalize, and encourage it. 

I see the implications of boy math and girl math every day. I watch couples play mental gymnastics with themselves to justify all sorts of self-sabotaging behavior. Here's the good news. We can kill boy math and girl math in our life. Just knowing we're subject to these psychological effects can allow us to be more self-aware and make better decisions. 

At the heart of this is our desire to remove guilt. When we can justify a decision, it allows us to scrap the guilt and replace it with satisfaction. My encouragement is to face reality on reality's terms. Call something what it is, understand the true reason for our desires, and understand the actual cost of this decision at face value. Then, we can make the best decision for us. No guilt, no second-guessing, no games. If it adds more value (to us) than it costs, it's part of the budget, and we're not going into debt, then do it!

Protecting Yourself From Yourself

As much as we try, we humans are experts in the art of self-sabotage. Sometimes, we're oblivious to it, while other times, we know exactly what we do. Yet, we can't help but sabotage our own well-being. 

• Hitting the snooze button instead of going to the gym.

• Showing up to work late.

• Sneaking that tasty little snack right before bed.

• Insert countless financial versions here!

As I often tell my clients, we must protect ourselves from ourselves. It's not because we're weak, but rather because we are smart. Well, maybe we are weak......which means we need to be smart!

An example of this popped up with a client this week. This particular client struggles to keep their grocery spending in check. Sound familiar? They budget a reasonable number, have clarity on how much they are spending as the month wears on, and desperately want to stay within budget. Yet, they fail. Every. Single. Month. 

In our most recent meeting, I told them they desperately need to protect themselves from themselves. I can relate to this exact issue! We love food. If left to our own devices, my family would spend every cent on food. We can't do that, though. Sticking to the plan is a non-negotiable. 

Here's the idea I put on the table for this couple. They should open a CashApp account, which is an app that acts like its own little bank account. It connects directly to your personal bank account, so you can add or subtract money anytime. It also provides you with a debit card. Once set up, this would be their grocery account. Here's why this can be a powerful tool to protect themselves from themselves:

• You must intentionally load it with whatever dollar amount you choose. Therefore, once you budget for $x for groceries, you will deposit the money with just a few clicks. 

• Once the money is living in CashApp, you can see an up-to-the-minute balance. If you swipe your debit card in the store, the balance adjusts within 10 seconds. You always have 100% clarity. 

• It doesn't allow you to overdraft. If you have $44 in your CashApp and you try to purchase $44.01 worth of merchandise, it declines you. There's no way to overspend. 

• When the money is gone, it's gone. This is a powerful lesson. No, your family won't die. Rather, it forces you to get creative and dive a bit deeper into the pantry and freezer. We've had several "interesting" months in our house. Something powerful happens when we commit to the plan. 

• Having only one transaction for groceries (the original deposit each month) eliminates the need to continually track these expenses. It's all housed in the app with a pretty little bow. 

It sounds simple....because it is. And it can change everything! Despite groceries being one of our most challenging categories, we haven't overspent in nearly a decade. There's just one reason for this: we protect ourselves from ourselves. 

What do you need to protect yourself from yourself from? 

The First Slice is the Best!

On my flight yesterday, I had a front-row seat to a little family struggle. Here's how it played out. Mom, Dad, and 12ish-year-old son sit down right in front of me. They had to hurry from one flight to the next, but they were able to grab some food and bring it onto the plane. After the plane took off, the mother distributed the food. Side note: it looked absolutely delicious. A while later, the son decided he was full after eating about 2/3 of the meal. He looked satisfied and content. The mother, clearly annoyed, chewed him out and said it was wrong for him to waste food. She made him eat the remaining 1/3, after which he seemed stuffed and miserable. 

As I'm writing this, I keep oddly thinking about pumpkin pie. Maybe it's the fact fall is in the air, but I couldn't be more excited to slam some pumpkin pie soon. The correct whip cream-to-pie ratio is 1:1, by the way. Anyway, the holidays are quickly approaching, and soon, that pie will be mine! Eating that first slice of pie is going to be outstanding. That second slice won't be as amazing, but I'll also enjoy the heck out of it. The third slice? That one will start to feel iffy. And the rest of the pie? If I were to put down the rest of it, you'd have to carry me to the hospital.

How can the first slice of pie sound so amazing, but the eighth slice sound absolutely unbearable? It's called the law of diminishing returns. The more we have of something, the less satisfying it becomes. That's where we get the saying, "Too much of a good thing." Whether it's the young guy on the plane or me slamming Thanksgiving pumpkin pie, we're all impacted by this phenomenon. Everyone over the age of 12 intuitively understands this concept, especially when it comes to food. 

However, we have a blind spot. It's called materialism. 

• When we get our first iPhone, it revolutionizes how we engage with people and access information! However, when the newest model comes out next year, and we spend our hard-earned money to upgrade, we're barely getting anything for the money.

• When we take that long-awaited vacation with our family, it's an amazing, creating lifelong memories experience. However, when we take our 6th vacation of the year, it becomes just another trip. 

• When we finally build up an adequate emergency fund to protect our family from a serious life situation, it's a tremendously relieving feeling. However, when we endeavor to double or triple that number, we feel only slightly more secure. 

Without realizing it, we work our way into too much of a good thing. Everywhere we look, the law of diminishing returns is knocking on the door. We can ignore it and keep falling for the trap, or we can open the door, admit we're prone to these psychological influences, and make more intentional choices. 

Now, where's that pumpkin pie?

Jumping Off the Treadmill

I experienced a very profound moment in my life around 2015. It was a few years after paying off our $236,000 of debt. Sarah and I were still in the midst of our fertility battle, but optimistic about possibly adopting a child soon. My career was thriving. And I was making many multiples of income from what I previously made. Reflecting on how blessed my life was, I couldn't help but feel it wasn't enough. It was all just, well, normal. 

This is the season of life where I started pondering what would eventually become Meaning Over Money and my new career. It's also when I started digging deep into the behavioral science of money, work, and happiness. 

The Hedonic Treadmill. I talk about this concept in my keynote, but it also leaks out in many other areas of my work. You may have heard it on the podcast, read it here, or caught it during an interview I gave. The topic comes up often, as it plays a critical role in our lives. In short, the Hedonic Treadmill is a phenomenon by which anything that happens to us, good or bad, becomes normal. We experience up-front pain or euphoria, but in a matter of weeks, we're back to being normal (albeit a new version of normal).

I've experienced the Hedonic Treadmill many times in life. Also, I watch many clients work through it in their own lives. What's interesting is how people interact with it differently IF they recognize it's happening. 

This leads me to a few recent observations:

• I was meeting with a young couple who make around $75,000 combined. Through the course of the conversation, they reveal their desire to get that number to $100,000. Why? Because that's the number that will allow them to feel confident financially.

• I was having a drink with a friend. He mentioned he makes around $120,000 per year, but it feels tight. In his opinion, if he could get it closer to $150,000, they would be set. 

• I spent some time with another couple who frustratingly vented that their $200,000 income wasn't enough anymore. They didn't know the appropriate number, but it's definitely more than $200,000.

• One of my friends proclaimed a family can't survive in this town with an income of only $335,000. 

Several studies have been done over the years around the question of "What is enough?" Well, what is enough? In the overwhelming majority of cases, it's more than whatever their current situation looks like. It's the Hedonic Treadmill in action! 

Back to that profound moment I experienced in 2015. One of the revelations I had during that season was this. Despite making many multiples of my younger self's income, I didn't feel any happier. My younger self wouldn't have believed what older Travis was making, yet it was just "normal" for me as I was living it. The Hedonic Treadmill was kicking my butt.

I had to jump off the treadmill. Do you, too?

A Bad Mow Is Better Than No Mow

As I got home yesterday afternoon, something drew my eye to my backyard. What I saw wasn't pretty. The grass was short and gray, but the weeds were tall and green. It looked like an absolute disaster. I'd show you a picture, but not even I'm willing to incriminate myself that badly. To sum it up, the state of my yard was a perfect combination of traveling for 8 of the last 12 weeks, long stretches of brutal heat, and a significant lack of available time on my part. I'm not proud of it, but realize how I got here.

Truth is, I've had some windows to make progress on the yard and similar projects. However, these windows would not have allowed me to do it well. So instead of choosing done, I decided to wait for perfect.....which never came. Last night, though, Pax and I mowed the yard together. He had a blast and worked hard, but he's a terrible mower, just like his brother. It doesn't look great today, but it looks WAY better than before we mowed it. A bad mow is better than no mow.

It reminds me of the wise words of my business partner, Cole. "Done is better than perfect." It's a motto he lives by. I also try to implement it in my life, but in cases like my recent yard debacle, I whiffed. This concept applies to many areas of life. 80% is always better than a future (but not likely) 100%.

Budgeting is much the same. Even if we screw up a few categories, we're way better off than had we thrown caution to the wind. It's better to miss the target by a measurable margin than to throw our hands in the air and dismiss the mission altogether.

If we have a few dozen financial transactions to categorize, even knocking down a portion of them is better than waiting until we can do them all. In the meantime, more transactions will stack up, making completing the task progressively harder and more intimidating. Next thing we know, we're so far behind that we just give up. In an effort to get it perfect, we self-sabotage and fail to get it done at all. This is a common problem encountered by clients. As a solution, I suggest they find small 5-minute blocks throughout the week and knock out small pieces. It doesn't lead to a perfect outcome, but they make steady progress along the way, allowing for the possibility of being done. This can be a massive win.

Insert whatever financial topic you want here. Budgeting, investing, saving, or giving. Or insert whatever non-financial topic you want here. Writing that book, the house projects, the old friend you've been meaning to reconnect with, or the fun hobby you're excited to crush. We can wait until the perfect time (which probably won't come), or make imperfect progress. I've learned this lesson the hard way enough times.....I'm ready to just be done.