"I Get To Go to Work"

Years ago, a friend shared with me his dream of someday transitioning into a different career. This thing was his passion. Over the years, he was working jobs he didn’t necessarily love, but they paid the bills. Simultaneously, he worked on his craft as a side hustle and eventually returned to school (part-time while he worked full-time) to pursue his dream career.

Fast forward, he made it! He recently started a job in the field he dreamt about all those years back. When I asked him how it was going so far, his wife quickly chimed in. She shared how he randomly exclaimed one day, “I get to go to work!!!” He didn’t have to go to work…..he was blessed with the opportunity to do his work. It wasn’t an obligation….it was a privilege. He didn’t dread it…..he looked forward to it.

He just unlocked a whole new level of meaning in his life. It wasn’t an accident. He didn’t stumble into it. It was an intentional choice, that required a lot of work and sacrifice, with very real consequences. He made a decision very few would have. He could have taken a simpler, easier, more predictable path. Instead, he chose meaning. Many in today’s culture would have told him to make as much money as he can, and hoard as much of it as possible, so he can retire sooner rather than later (you know, so he can finally enjoy his life). Instead, he chooses to live with joy, today. He’s not working now so he can enjoy life someday. He’s choosing to enjoy life…..period.

I couldn’t be more excited for them, and I’m grateful for the example he’s living by. I hope others see how he’s living and ultimately decide to take a similar path. The path of meaning, purpose, impact, and joy.

Nothing is Thrown Away

Nearly four years ago, I stepped away from my 15-year career in commercial real estate. It was an awesome career, and to be honest, I miss it some days. Everyone assumes I walked away from it disillusioned and angry, but I didn’t. There is probably an alternate reality where I happily spend another 10-15 years in that role.

After my resignation was announced, I received a LOT of feedback from my colleagues. Mostly good, a few bad, and a lot of curiosity about my thought process and next steps. A few people made a comment that stuck with me for months, “you’re throwing away your career.” Ouch!

At the time, even I wondered if I was throwing something away. After all, I built up skills, experience, influence, and relationships over more than a decade. But then, something happened. Sarah and I were on a long flight home from a trip to Asia. I shared with her my dream of writing, but also confessed I hadn’t written for maybe 17 years. It was going to be a train wreck of a process, but I would give it the ol’ college try. I spent a large portion of that 16-hour flight writing on my laptop. To my shock, the words flowed from the tips of my fingers and onto the screen. What the heck!?!? How could I feel this comfortable writing if I hadn’t written in nearly two decades? That’s when it hit me! In my career, a big chunk of my job was to communicate with my overseas clients…..over e-mail. You know, writing…..

Nothing is wasted. Not my skills, experience, influence, or relationships. I didn’t throw any of it away. It all matters. I may have left that previous career, but all those other things came with me. I get to keep those forever. I get to use all the things I acquired and apply them to the next chapter in my journey. I laugh sometimes when pieces of my old career intersect with my new career. Once I started to be aware of it, I noticed it happening daily. So much of what I did and learned in my previous career helps me each and every day. I’m grateful for that.

Someone needs to hear this today. If you make a big shift in your life, you aren’t throwing something away. You’re merely taking it with you and applying it to the next thing that matters. Your previous impact will be the springboard to your upcoming impact. You got this!

This Job Serves a Purpose (Even if it Sucks)

A dear friend recently reached out with a confession: she’s kinda embarrassed about her current job. Instead of telling people her job title, she tries to simply tell them the company she works for. If forced to share her role, she’ll lead with what she used to do. Admittedly, her current role isn’t the best use of her skills and passions. I know that and she knows that.

However, I reminded her of a few things to keep in mind:

1) Her job doesn’t define her. It’s not her identity. It’s not what determines her value.

2) All jobs matter! When we boil it down to its simplest form, all jobs allow us to serve someone and add value through our good work. Even if we don’t particularly enjoy our work, we can at least know we’re adding value and making the lives of others better.

3) Life is about seasons. This particular role is just for a season, and it too shall pass. If approached in that way, all parts of our life (the good and the crappy) can be used as a bridge to get us from where we are to where we want to be. This job is the perfect bridge for her! This is undoubtedly setting the table for what’s to come.

It’s true, she doesn’t have the best job in the world right now. But I gotta tell you, this young lady is amazing. She just started a side business, she has a few side jobs that align with her passions, she’s married to an awesome man, and she’s about to become a mom. In my book, she’s doing a wonderful job and she’s right where she needs to be. I have a feeling we’ll all look back a few years from now and marvel at how it all came together so beautifully.

Cheers to this season of life…..and the better season that’s coming!

Here's to the Next 49 Years

As I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday, I received a notification about memories “on this day.” These memories are usually populated by pictures of my kids, looking cute……or videos of my kids, doing something that will surely draw blood. Yesterday’s was different. It was the picture of 801 Grand, the signature building in the Des Moines skyline. It was a picture I took, exactly one year ago, as I walked out of that building for the very last time after a pretty amazing 15-year career. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. So many emotions running through my mind. I had just said my very last goodbye. It was Kristin, a very dear friend who I’d worked closely with for the better part of a decade. As I said that goodbye, I nearly lost it. It took every ounce of me to get into that elevator and make it out of the building in once piece. I spent the next 3 days in an absolute daze. It felt disorienting, scary, nostalgic, and exciting……and maybe a little bit of oh-crap-what-did-I-just-do. Wow, one year flew by fast!!!

These last 365 days have been wild, not to mention the COVID-19 quarantine life that’s shaken up everything we consider normal. As I reflect on this last year of entrepreneurship, I thought it would be worthwhile to jot down some of the lessons I’ve learned through the journey. And if I wasn’t self-conscious enough about my shortcomings, I’ll just go ahead and broadcast them to the world! So here we go:

• The minute we think we have everything figured out is the moment we’ve lost the game. Life changes so fast, and the world of business ownership simply magnifies that. By the time I hit the one-year mark in my career journey, I thought I would be engaging in speaking engagements on a weekly basis. Instead, I haven’t spent time in a group larger than ten in two-and-a-half months and I suddenly find myself pulling all-nighters in front of a camera recording our new financial video course for young adults (www.meaningover.money). Didn’t see that one coming!

• It’s so easy to undervalue our own work. Call it imposter syndrome, call it lack of confidence, call it whatever you want. We simply do a terrible job adequately valuing ourselves when we’re forced to put a price on our work. I was sitting around the table with a group of peers and I made a random comment about the value of my work being worth way more than I charge. A woman interrupted me and asked “how much is your work worth, then?” I said “probably double”…….to which she responded “then you should be charging double!” I laughed off this feedback, but the group continued to badger me about it. Fast forward 24 hours, I was meeting with a potential client and I quoted them a price that was nearly double what I had been previously charging. They called it “a bargain”. Wow, talk about eating a slice of humble pie! Today, my coaching rates are nearly triple what some of my earliest clients paid. I wish I would have learned this lesson earlier, but some of those earlier clients are pretty glad I didn’t!

• Speaking of people badgering me, here’s the next lesson I learned: I can’t do it alone! Business ownership, especially as a solopreneur, can be super lonely. Here’s the good news…..nobody said we have to do it alone! Luckily I had the self-awareness early on to know there’s no way I could do this by myself. So I found awesome people and surrounded myself with them. I hired my good friend Ryan to help me with creative and design elements…….things I hate doing, and frankly suck at. I hired an accountant to help me navigate bookkeeping and taxes. I hired a business coach (BizLab) who could help me unlock my potential in ways I never knew were possible. That was a game-changer! Last but not least, I rented co-work office space at Blue Bean where I was able to find a community of bright, driven, encouraging peers. These people have changed my life! They started as acquaintances, which turned into collaborators, which morphed into family. These people make me better and I’m so grateful to have a work family…..even if their work is totally different than my work. We don’t have to do it alone, and I’m grateful for that!

• Entrepreneurship is exciting…..and scary! Will we have enough money to pay the bills this month? Will people really trust me? With a million different options, which path should I focus on? Should I stick with coaching, maybe lean into speaking, or finally start that podcast, maybe write something that exposes the core of me, or accept a crazy, or accept an out-of-the-blue offer to create a bangin’ video course from a young, hungry filmmaker? We live in a culture, in a time, where there are no boundaries and no limits. Wow, that’s exciting…..and scary! I wake up every day excited to find out what life will throw at me!

• Speaking of scary, here’s my last lesson: financial insecurity while following your dreams is 100,000% better than living with financial security doing something that doesn’t inspire you. The difference between like and love isn’t incremental. It’s the difference between climbing a flight of stairs and climbing Everest. Comfort is overrated. I deeply desire to be uncomfortable, and this season has given me a triple helping of discomfort. But I can say with absolute certainty that I’d never in a million years exchange this life for financial security. My gut told me this was true, but the last 365 days has proven it over, and over, and over. When we create impact on others, pursue work that matters, and redefine the role money plays in our life, it unlocks a truly meaningful life. And once you taste it, nothing can ever again satisfy that thirst.

As I was contemplating my career change just over a year ago, I made a comment to a trusted friend: “I only have 50 good working years left in me.” He thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. I truly believe if we’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to do, there’s nothing that can stop us from wanting to do it, including some arbitrary retirement age placed upon us by society. I love spending time with my family, and doing cool hobbies, and traveling, and watching sports, and eating amazing food, and experiencing all the amazing culture this planet has to offer……but I also love my work! If that’s true, then a life without life-giving, passion-filled work would likely feel empty. So as I look back and celebrate this last year, I’m grateful, humbled, and inspired by everything that’s happened……..here’s to the next 49 years!

Someday

Photo by Nicholas Barbaros on Unsplash

When working with coaching clients, I usually ask two questions pretty early in the relationship. 1) “When do you want to retire?”, and 2) “What do you want retirement to look like?” On the first question, 90% respond with a variation of “as soon as I can….that’s why we’re hiring you.” For the second question regarding what they want retirement to look like, there are three answers I most often hear. Some say they want to travel, some say they want to relax, and MANY say they want to continue working, but do “something I enjoy.”

I totally get the travel and relax answers, though I have a totally different opinion on the topic. As it pertains to that third answer, I have a dumb question. Why would we spend the next 10-20 years working at a job we can’t wait to leave (reminder, 90% say they want to retire ASAP) so we can later go work at a job we enjoy? Let’s think about that for a moment……..

Ok, I’m back. We’re going to live a life where we celebrate Friday, dread Monday, painfully gut through the majority of our waking hours, go spend money on things to mask the discontentment, and repeat that process again for the next 500-1,000 weeks? That’s insanity, but we’ve been wired to think that’s just how the world should work. Instead, why aren’t we aggressively pursuing that “something I enjoy” career today rather than waiting 10-20 more years?

Six months ago, I had an amazing career. I was doing something I had always dreamed of. It was an awesome 15 years of relationships, experiences, and growth. But God gave me a new dream, and a new vision. I’ve had pieces of this dream in the back of my mind for many years. I would tell people about how “someday” I was going to do something about it. When? “Once I retire from this career……maybe at 50, or 55, or 60.” See, I did it too!!

Life is so short. We only have one shot at this life. You’re only going to be 35-years-old once….and 40…..and 45……and so on. We can’t go back, we can’t get a do-over. If you only get to live this life once, what are you doing wasting it on something that doesn’t fill you, simply waiting for it to end?

“If you only get to live this life once, what are you doing wasting it on something that doesn’t fill you?”

Is it a money thing? I get it. That’s scary! Money always seems to have a grip on us. We are told money is so important, it’s a measuring stick for success, it buys things that makes us happy. Why do we think the money matters so much? Behavioral scientists have been proving for years money doesn’t make us happy. What’s one of the primary drivers of happiness, according to the science? Work that matters! I could have let money stop me……..spoiler, it almost did. But I finally got over my own pride and my own materialism to do what I knew deep in my heart was right. My family voluntarily chose a 90% income decrease (90%!!!) for me to step into this new career. Two things came from that.

First, we are happier today than we’ve ever been in our lives. We live each and every day with meaning and joy. I worked a 14-hour day last week and I was upset with myself that I couldn’t work more. Every day is an adventure, and I actually celebrate Mondays. When I wake up each morning, I can’t wait to get my day started so I can create, contribute, and use whatever opportunities God gives me to serve others. It is a profound feeling I so badly wish others could experience.

Second, knowing how much fire and energy I have towards my work, I wouldn’t be surprised to wake up one day to find that my income is comparable to the one I left behind. Who am I to judge God’s blessings and the value of my own work? I don’t know how that will play out over time, but I now know it was foolish of me to mentally condemn myself to a low income from here on out.

If it’s not money for you, is it the fact you’d be “throwing away” your career? Believe me, I had those thoughts, too. It took me 12 years to get the position I had always dreamed of…..only to leave that position three years later. One could argue I “threw it away”, but I don’t look at it that way. I got so much out of it. That career prepared me for the next step in my journey. Back in January, on a long-haul flight to Asia, I told my wife Sarah I was going to write. See, I’ve wanted to be a writer my entire life. But here I was, 37-years-old, and I hadn’t written anything my entire adult life. I told her it would probably be a train wreck, but I was going to give it the ol’ college try. So I started writing, and the words flew off my computer keys. It felt so natural……I was really confused. How did writing feel so natural when I hadn’t written for nearly 15 years? Then it hit me: I write all the time! In the 15 years I’ve spent working in commercial real estate, my job was to communicate. I wrote every single day. It just looked different. I spent 15 years writing to my clients, to my colleagues, and to our investment committees, which absolutely prepared me for the next step in my journey. Nothing worthwhile is ever thrown away. Every experience, every struggle, and every skill I acquired in my 15-year real estate investing career is meaningful to me as I step into this new chapter. I’m so grateful for those 15 years and everything that came with it.

So back to my original question. If you’re saying to yourself “someday, I’m going to do _____”, why not now? I’m not saying I have everything figured out – far from it – but I can tell you I’m so grateful I decided to do at 38 what I always told myself I would do at 50, or 55, or 60. Life is too short for regret! When will you step into your someday?

“Life is too short for regret! When will you step into your someday?”

Seasons of Need

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

“Someday, I want to be the one on the other side of the table. I want to be the one giving.” This – and a few different variations of it – have come out of the mouths of several people I’ve worked with over the past three months. These are people who are experiencing some tough life situations. Job losses, medical emergencies, divorces, mental illness, legal situations, you name it. Life can be brutal! When it hits us, it feels like a wild haymaker punch we didn’t even see coming. It can leave us feeling breathless, disoriented, and oftentimes helpless.

But here’s the thing: EVERYONE goes through it. Not at the same time, not in the same way, and not in the same areas of life. But we ALL go through seasons where life knocks the wind right out of us. We usually forget that, because when we’re going through our own junk, many of the people around us have it pretty good (or so it appears). As a result, it can leave us feeling even more down and even more lonely. Truth is, each one of us just went through something heavy, or are currently going through something heavy, or will soon be going through something heavy. None of us can escape it. There’s no amount of money, or title, or status, or race, or gender, or anything else that can protect us from it. In some ways, that’s a really depressing thought. On the other hand, it should tell us that we’re never alone!

When people I’m working with blurt out some variation of “someday, I want to be the one on the other side of the table”, I often respond with something like “heck yeah you will!”, or “like you were last year when you did (cool amazing thing) for (that one person)?” I sometimes laugh on the inside when people make these declarations about wanting to be the person on the other side of the table. I don’t laugh because it’s funny…..far from it. I laugh because I can immediately think about situations in the past when these very people have made profound differences in other people’s lives. They just forget about it in this moment of need. The current feeling of helplessness blinds them to the fact they’ve always been the person on the other side of the table…….until this very moment when they weren’t.

It makes me think about a situation in our own life. Many years ago, Sarah and I paid off $236,000 of debt. That’s a topic for another conversation, but it’s something cool we did. I totally recommend it. Not stupidly finding yourself in $236,000 of debt, but rather getting out of whatever debt you are in. IT. CHANGES. EVERYTHING! When we’re free from the debt and that burden isn’t weighing us down, we can actually look up and see past our own junk. When our debt was finally paid off in mid-2012, Sarah was working four 10-hour days per week at a daycare. She got Fridays off, which made for some pretty cool 3-day weekends. About five months after becoming debt free, we saw there was someone in our life that was really struggling to make childcare work financially and logistically. Sarah decided to do something pretty amazing: she volunteered to provide free childcare for this family every Friday. For 99 Fridays (nearly 2 years), Sarah volunteered her day off to provide free childcare to a family who needed it. I’m still proud of Sarah for that gesture!

Fast forward five years. Sarah and I are now parenting two infants. Sarah was staying home with the kids (our big “why” for getting out of debt, by the way), I was traveling a fair amount as my career was heating up, I was a youth group leader, I was on a handful of boards (including one internationally), and it felt like the walls of life were closing in. We were flat-out struggling to figure it all out. Sarah comes home one day and said to me “there’s a lady at church who wants to watch our kids for free every Friday so I can get some rest and get some things done.” Wow, talk about life coming full circle! We were in a season of need, and someone unknowingly met that need in the exact same way we meet another family’s need five years earlier. My first question to Sarah was “do we even know this family?”, to which Sarah responded “no, but she seems really nice.” Perhaps it’s a testament for how overwhelmed we were at the time, but we humbly and gratefully (and quickly) said “yes.” It was exactly what Sarah (and our marriage) needed. We are so grateful for the love and generosity this family showed to what was then considered strangers. We are strangers no more. Today, I work alongside the mom, I’ve led mission trips with the dad, and I have a very special bond with their teenage daughter who loved on my kids way back when they were just little nuggets. They are some of the most loving and most generous people we know, and I’m so grateful to have them in our family’s life!

We all go through seasons of need and seasons where we can serve those in need. I pray you have the heart, humility, and self-awareness to embrace both sides of that coin. If you are in a positive season of life, be on the lookout for people who you can lovingly serve. Conversely, if you’re in a tough season of life, be willing to let others walk alongside you to help you onto your feet. After all, the sooner you get back on your feet, the sooner you’ll be able to play the role of the loving servant again.

If you have any stories where you’ve been on either side of need, I’d love to hear! Please share in the comments. Also, if you found this post valuable, would you mind sharing it with someone who may also find it valuable? I think there are people who need to hear this message today!

“We all go through seasons of need and seasons where we can serve those in need. I pray you have the heart, humility, and self-awareness to embrace both sides of that coin. ”

New Beginnings

For nearly two decades I’ve wanted to run a website and publish my writing. I’m not sure what has stopped me in the past. Perhaps it was the busy of life, or not having anything to say, or believing nobody cared what I had to say, or maybe because I was simply lazy or scared. As the saying goes, the best time to start was 20 years ago…..and the second-best time to start is now!

This website is one of the many new beginnings my family has experienced in this season of life. About three months ago, I stepped away from an amazing career in institutional commercial real estate investing. It was a dream job, it paid well, it was fun, and it allowed me to see the world. But God gave me a new dream. Today, I wake up each and every day with a burning desire to help people win with money. Not so they can become wealthy and swim around in their pools of money like Scrooge McDuck, but rather so they can live out the life God has called them to live. For some it means changing careers to joyfully use their gifts and passions for a purpose, for others it means staying home with their babies, for some it means to open up the floodgates of generosity, and for many it simply means to ease the tension money and finances have put on their day-to-day life.

I’ve found a few ways to serve others with these gifts. The first is through offering professional financial coaching for families looking to improve their financial life. Some people are doing ok and looking to do good, while others are doing good and looking to do great. These are people with purpose, with passion, and with the dedication to create real change so they can live the life God has called them to live. Each and every one of them are heroes in my book! This professional part of my life will also involve speaking, workshops, podcasting, and writing.

I’ve also been blessed with an opportunity to serve my local church – The Ridge in Ankeny, IA (suburban Des Moines) – by launching a formal financial ministry. In this ministry, we hope to raise up a team of leaders who can help people honor God with their finances. Through teaching, speaking, coaching, and workshops, we want to serve the people of our church with love, compassion, and truth. Check out this link to learn more about what we’re doing at The Ridge.

This brings us here, to this blog. Every time I push something into the world, whether it be on FB, IG, or Twitter, I ask myself one simple question: “why am I doing this?” If the answer is anything but “to entertain”, “to educate”, or “to inspire”, I simply hit delete and move on with my life. I want to add value in all that I do, and never want it to become about me. So with this blog, I hope to entertain, educate, and inspire those who desire to live a better life. A life with purpose. A life they will one day look back on and be proud of. If you are one of those people, I hope you find value in this blog and continue to read, engage, and share.

Thanks, and here’s to new beginnings!