Nothing Is Wasted

My young friend Cam, an accomplished track athlete, just finished her high school athletic career a few days ago. She’ll soon graduate and move on to the next chapter of her life. In the aftermath of her last formal competition, she posted something on IG that caught my eye. Her words were profound, and I thought they were worth sharing:

For years, it’s been “on to the next one.” Those two laps on the track… that was it. Now there is no “next one.” The challenges I’ve faced in sports—physical and otherwise—have undoubtedly shaped me to be who I am today. I’m sure the opportunities to apply the lessons I have learned in my future *non-athletic* endeavors will be limitless. I have now broken one ceiling—it’s time for me to find another.

It’s always hard to close chapters in life, especially when they’ve been such a key part of our journey for many years. When I read Cam’s words, I think back to my high school basketball career. I mourned that loss for a long time (I wish I had Cam’s wise perspective at that age). I also think back to several other major shifts in my life, including my drastic career move in 2019.

I think Cam nailed it when she talked about applying the lessons learned in her future endeavors. Whether we’re moving on from a sport, relationship, job, or any number of other chapters, nothing is wasted. Nothing is thrown away. Nothing is squandered. The experiences, relationships, influence, memories, failings, achievements, habits, and learnings. Cam will take each of those with her and apply it to whatever comes next. Then she’ll do it again….then again. Every step of the way, Cam will get better and more people will benefit from her good work. It’s a beautiful thing.

Let Cam’s words sit with you today. Some of you know there’s a major shift that needs to happen in your life, but you’re scared to “throw away” the thing you need to move on from. Just remember, nothing is wasted. Be grateful for all you’ve gained and experienced from this season of life, but at the same time be willing to step into the next great thing.

When One Chapter Ends

Ten years ago, I was playing a game a pick-up basketball at church when I was unceremoniously punched in the groin. Yes, no better way to start a blog post than with a good ol’ fashion groin punch story. As I was laying in the fetal position trying to gain my composure, the perpetrator of said inadvertent punch approached me to apologize. He introduced himself as Doug Applegate, our church’s youth group director. I’m not sure why, but he decided an injured stranger was the perfect candidate to solicit for a volunteer youth group leader position. Considering I really didn’t care for teenagers, it seemed like a bad idea. However, I was always available to serve, especially when someone “needed” me. I told him I would check it out, then make a decision.

A few weeks later, I showed up at youth group to check out the middle school and high school groups. My middle school experience was a train wreck, because, well, middle school kids. That was the easiest “no” of my life. The high school group, however, was something different. While I was still hesitant, the kids fascinated me it was just interesting enough that I said “yes” to serving for a year. After all, Doug “needed” me. The following school years (2013-2014), I jumped in head-first into an adventure I never saw coming.

Fast forward 10 years. Last night was my last night as a youth group leader. 10 years!?!? Words cannot properly communicate what this youth group has meant to me. These are my people. The kids, my fellow leaders, the parents. Some of the most important people in my life have come as a result of my time as a youth group leader. Doug (you know, the guy who punched me) has become a big brother to me. I’ve learned so much from him over the years, he gave me so many opportunities to use my gifts/passions, and he’s honestly the catalyst for me becoming a professional speaker. I’m eternally grateful for his role in my life, and I can say the same about so many more people. I have more memories than I can count, hundreds of relationships, and have experienced things that have transformed my life. It’s also been a long enough time that these kids turn into adults, with careers, who get married, have kids, and start changing the world. Every wedding, baby, degree, job, and move is worth celebrating. These young friends mean the world to me.

It’s hard to see this chapter of my life close. It’s one of the most special chapters I’ve ever experienced. But all chapters must end so a new one can begin. My kids are getting bigger and busier, while my schedule also continues to get more complicated. As much as I don’t want to leave youth group, my wife and kids need me right now. The feeling is bittersweet, but I also have a peace about it. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back one day. After all, my kids will be eligible for our youth group program in just six years. I have a feeling I may be giving that “train wreck” middle school group a chance in due time.

As this chapter comes to an end, I mourn and celebrate…..but mostly celebrate. It’s been amazing. I’m grateful. I’m content. I’m at peace. When one chapter ends, another begins.

Permission to Push Pause

I love it when people gain traction in their finances. They know what they are trying to accomplish, they get intentional, they make sacrifices, and they execute. It’s a beautiful thing. There’s a sense of satisfaction, confidence, and accomplishment that comes from such an experience.

But then, life happens! A job change, a wedding, a baby, a relocation, a career shift, a medical emergency, a new small business idea, kids college……the list goes on and on. These things are the very definition of life. There’s nothing linear about life. It’s a series of twists and turns, tragedies and delights, anxiety and confidence, sadness and joy.

While on a financial journey, especially if we’re really locked in and making progress, it can be easy to get fixated on the financial matters. After all, financial progress is a good thing. However, it can’t be the most important thing. If our finances become the most important thing, we’ve lost the game. Our finances should serve our life, not the other way around.

For that reason, you have permission to push pause. When life happens, we need to give ourselves permission to push pause on the finances and address the life in front of us. No guilt, no regrets, no second-guessing. Yes, this money stuff is important…….but the other things are more important.

I have multiple clients that have pushed pause on some of their financial endeavors so they can focus on life. Some of the best things life has to offer, and some of the worst things life has to offer. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everything in between. In each of those scenarios, they needed to push pause for a season. Not forever…..just for now. It was hard at first, but their finances serve their life, not the other way around.

* This idea was given to me by my dear friend Tracy. If you have ideas for future blog posts or podcast episodes, I’d love to hear them!

This Job Serves a Purpose (Even if it Sucks)

A dear friend recently reached out with a confession: she’s kinda embarrassed about her current job. Instead of telling people her job title, she tries to simply tell them the company she works for. If forced to share her role, she’ll lead with what she used to do. Admittedly, her current role isn’t the best use of her skills and passions. I know that and she knows that.

However, I reminded her of a few things to keep in mind:

1) Her job doesn’t define her. It’s not her identity. It’s not what determines her value.

2) All jobs matter! When we boil it down to its simplest form, all jobs allow us to serve someone and add value through our good work. Even if we don’t particularly enjoy our work, we can at least know we’re adding value and making the lives of others better.

3) Life is about seasons. This particular role is just for a season, and it too shall pass. If approached in that way, all parts of our life (the good and the crappy) can be used as a bridge to get us from where we are to where we want to be. This job is the perfect bridge for her! This is undoubtedly setting the table for what’s to come.

It’s true, she doesn’t have the best job in the world right now. But I gotta tell you, this young lady is amazing. She just started a side business, she has a few side jobs that align with her passions, she’s married to an awesome man, and she’s about to become a mom. In my book, she’s doing a wonderful job and she’s right where she needs to be. I have a feeling we’ll all look back a few years from now and marvel at how it all came together so beautifully.

Cheers to this season of life…..and the better season that’s coming!

Seasons of Need

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

“Someday, I want to be the one on the other side of the table. I want to be the one giving.” This – and a few different variations of it – have come out of the mouths of several people I’ve worked with over the past three months. These are people who are experiencing some tough life situations. Job losses, medical emergencies, divorces, mental illness, legal situations, you name it. Life can be brutal! When it hits us, it feels like a wild haymaker punch we didn’t even see coming. It can leave us feeling breathless, disoriented, and oftentimes helpless.

But here’s the thing: EVERYONE goes through it. Not at the same time, not in the same way, and not in the same areas of life. But we ALL go through seasons where life knocks the wind right out of us. We usually forget that, because when we’re going through our own junk, many of the people around us have it pretty good (or so it appears). As a result, it can leave us feeling even more down and even more lonely. Truth is, each one of us just went through something heavy, or are currently going through something heavy, or will soon be going through something heavy. None of us can escape it. There’s no amount of money, or title, or status, or race, or gender, or anything else that can protect us from it. In some ways, that’s a really depressing thought. On the other hand, it should tell us that we’re never alone!

When people I’m working with blurt out some variation of “someday, I want to be the one on the other side of the table”, I often respond with something like “heck yeah you will!”, or “like you were last year when you did (cool amazing thing) for (that one person)?” I sometimes laugh on the inside when people make these declarations about wanting to be the person on the other side of the table. I don’t laugh because it’s funny…..far from it. I laugh because I can immediately think about situations in the past when these very people have made profound differences in other people’s lives. They just forget about it in this moment of need. The current feeling of helplessness blinds them to the fact they’ve always been the person on the other side of the table…….until this very moment when they weren’t.

It makes me think about a situation in our own life. Many years ago, Sarah and I paid off $236,000 of debt. That’s a topic for another conversation, but it’s something cool we did. I totally recommend it. Not stupidly finding yourself in $236,000 of debt, but rather getting out of whatever debt you are in. IT. CHANGES. EVERYTHING! When we’re free from the debt and that burden isn’t weighing us down, we can actually look up and see past our own junk. When our debt was finally paid off in mid-2012, Sarah was working four 10-hour days per week at a daycare. She got Fridays off, which made for some pretty cool 3-day weekends. About five months after becoming debt free, we saw there was someone in our life that was really struggling to make childcare work financially and logistically. Sarah decided to do something pretty amazing: she volunteered to provide free childcare for this family every Friday. For 99 Fridays (nearly 2 years), Sarah volunteered her day off to provide free childcare to a family who needed it. I’m still proud of Sarah for that gesture!

Fast forward five years. Sarah and I are now parenting two infants. Sarah was staying home with the kids (our big “why” for getting out of debt, by the way), I was traveling a fair amount as my career was heating up, I was a youth group leader, I was on a handful of boards (including one internationally), and it felt like the walls of life were closing in. We were flat-out struggling to figure it all out. Sarah comes home one day and said to me “there’s a lady at church who wants to watch our kids for free every Friday so I can get some rest and get some things done.” Wow, talk about life coming full circle! We were in a season of need, and someone unknowingly met that need in the exact same way we meet another family’s need five years earlier. My first question to Sarah was “do we even know this family?”, to which Sarah responded “no, but she seems really nice.” Perhaps it’s a testament for how overwhelmed we were at the time, but we humbly and gratefully (and quickly) said “yes.” It was exactly what Sarah (and our marriage) needed. We are so grateful for the love and generosity this family showed to what was then considered strangers. We are strangers no more. Today, I work alongside the mom, I’ve led mission trips with the dad, and I have a very special bond with their teenage daughter who loved on my kids way back when they were just little nuggets. They are some of the most loving and most generous people we know, and I’m so grateful to have them in our family’s life!

We all go through seasons of need and seasons where we can serve those in need. I pray you have the heart, humility, and self-awareness to embrace both sides of that coin. If you are in a positive season of life, be on the lookout for people who you can lovingly serve. Conversely, if you’re in a tough season of life, be willing to let others walk alongside you to help you onto your feet. After all, the sooner you get back on your feet, the sooner you’ll be able to play the role of the loving servant again.

If you have any stories where you’ve been on either side of need, I’d love to hear! Please share in the comments. Also, if you found this post valuable, would you mind sharing it with someone who may also find it valuable? I think there are people who need to hear this message today!

“We all go through seasons of need and seasons where we can serve those in need. I pray you have the heart, humility, and self-awareness to embrace both sides of that coin. ”