"Daddy is Helping People"

I didn't become a parent until I was 35 years old. One of the benefits of not becoming a parent until later in life is it allowed me to watch everyone around me parent. As I watched, I noticed one trend that disturbed me. Kids would freak out when their parents went to work. To an extent, I understood this. Kids want to be with their parents.....period. However, I noticed something else. Whenever the topic came up, it was communicated in some variation of the following: "I have to go to work." 

Two things stand out about this phrase. First, "have to" designates it's not a choice. The parent must do it, even if they don't want to. Work = bad. Second, the word "work" doesn't have much context. Small children may not fully understand this word, and later it will be merely understood by the child as a "job," or something you do for money. 

I decided to change the narrative when I became a father. From the time Finn and Pax were babies, we never used the phrase "go to work." Instead, it was always "go help people." When the kids eventually began to verbally converse, Sarah didn't say, "Daddy has to go work." It was, "Daddy is helping people." It may sound like I'm splitting hairs, but the difference is staggering.....especially for kids. 

My kids don't always like when I leave to "go help people," but they understand it at a deeper level. They know I do it because a) I want to help people, b) helping people is a good thing, and c) helping people results in money that we can use to pay the bills, give, and do fun things. Work = good.

It all came full circle yesterday. The Northern Vessel farmer's market crew was down a man, so TJ asked if I'd be willing to be the third man (who makes sure the ice, cups, lids, and all other supplies are constantly stocked so the other two can serve people with hospitality and efficiency). I told him I would, but I needed to have the kids with me since Sarah was traveling. What an excellent opportunity to put the kids to the test! I was a bit nervous going in, but they absolutely blew me away! They worked hard, stayed focused, accomplished the mission, and had fun doing it. They worked their little butts off.....and it was a lot! At some point in the morning, Finn looked over to me and said, "Daddy, I love helping people. I'm having so much fun. I wish we could do it longer." 

So many good things have come out of this mission to redefine "work" with our kids:

• A desire to serve people

• An appreciation and respect for the importance of work

• A desire to take on challenging work

• The enjoyment of work

It was a wonderful day, and I’m so glad I was able to experience that with them.

What is a "Real Job"?

My latest article for the Greater Des Moines Partnership was published yesterday. In it, I explore the rise of the 1099 economy. If you haven’t heard the term “1099 economy”, I’ll give a quick summary. It’s a reference to people who do work without being official employees of a company. They don’t get an official paycheck and their engagement is typically shorter in nature. This is an ever-increasing trend in the business world, but it’s still largely misunderstood and demeaned by our culture.

I introduce the article with the story of a young friend who is a 1099 contractor. He has a beautiful career. Work that matters, clients he enjoys working with, and a pretty good income. However, this person is surrounded by loved ones who simply don’t get it. “When are you going to get a real job?” Ouch! Nothing will give you self-doubt like having a trusted family member insinuate you don’t have a real career.

What is a “real job?” To be honest, I don’t have a good definition. I spent 15 years with the same company, as an employee, climbing up the ladder, which was undoubtedly THE definition of a “real job.” My career today? I suspect a fair number of people don’t consider my current career a real job. I coach families and businesses, do professional public speaking, write, podcast, sit on a handful of boards, do contract work for a start-up industrial company, co-own/operate a coffee company, and probably a few other things I’m blanking on.

Is that a “real job?” By the definition of our culture, probably not. But I don’t think it matters. What matters is I’m living out my unique calling, using my gifts/passions, serving others, waking up every day excited for what I’m about to do, and financially providing for my family. Aside from that, the definition is irrelevant. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend, Gary Hoag, in the weeks leading up to my transition from a very traditional career to a very non-traditional, unproven career path.

Me: “I’m nervous because what I’m about to do is weird and hasn’t yet been legitimized.”

Gary: “Only God gets to decide what’s legitimate.”

Fair point, Gary, fair point. I had countless people in my life tell me to stay put, take the safe path, and focus on comfort and security. I’m grateful for Gary and a few others who were on the other side, pushing me toward meaning. For that reason, I take every opportunity I get to tell people in my life, like the young man mentioned above, to simply pursue meaning (whether it’s a “real job” or not).

Whatever you do when you get out of bed in the morning, whether it’s a “real job” or not, I hope you find it to be fulfilling and meaningful. That’s what really matters!

Today's Work Matters

Happy Monday! If you’re reading this, there’s a strong chance you’re working today. If so, thank you. Your work matters. Whatever you do, someone’s life will be better as a result of your good work. That someone may be your colleague, or your boss, or your client, or your customer, or someone I’m not even thinking about. But rest assured, when you do good work, the world is a better place. Your work matters. Thank you for doing the hard work. When your head hits the pillow tonight, I hope you feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. If we’re blessed, we’ll have the opportunity to do it again tomorrow. When that happens, I’ll be grateful for you again. Your work matters.

This Job Serves a Purpose (Even if it Sucks)

A dear friend recently reached out with a confession: she’s kinda embarrassed about her current job. Instead of telling people her job title, she tries to simply tell them the company she works for. If forced to share her role, she’ll lead with what she used to do. Admittedly, her current role isn’t the best use of her skills and passions. I know that and she knows that.

However, I reminded her of a few things to keep in mind:

1) Her job doesn’t define her. It’s not her identity. It’s not what determines her value.

2) All jobs matter! When we boil it down to its simplest form, all jobs allow us to serve someone and add value through our good work. Even if we don’t particularly enjoy our work, we can at least know we’re adding value and making the lives of others better.

3) Life is about seasons. This particular role is just for a season, and it too shall pass. If approached in that way, all parts of our life (the good and the crappy) can be used as a bridge to get us from where we are to where we want to be. This job is the perfect bridge for her! This is undoubtedly setting the table for what’s to come.

It’s true, she doesn’t have the best job in the world right now. But I gotta tell you, this young lady is amazing. She just started a side business, she has a few side jobs that align with her passions, she’s married to an awesome man, and she’s about to become a mom. In my book, she’s doing a wonderful job and she’s right where she needs to be. I have a feeling we’ll all look back a few years from now and marvel at how it all came together so beautifully.

Cheers to this season of life…..and the better season that’s coming!