The Grass Always Seems Greener

I’m not gonna lie. Pursuing meaning can be hard. A gut-wrenching, nail-biting, faith-testing, “why did I just do that?” kind of hard. Nowhere in the handbook does it tell us a life of meaning will be simple and stress-free. Whether it’s radical generosity, pouring yourself out for others, taking a counter-cultural path, doing something that’s never been done before, or facing a reality of reduced income, it can be brutally hard. Some of you are reading this and thinking this is the worst sales pitch for meaning you’ve ever heard. If all this is true, why would I still be such a champion for meaning? Because it’s worth it!

This month will be the four-year anniversary of leaving my prior career to begin my new endeavors. It’s been four of the hardest years of my life…..but also some of the most rewarding, productive, impactful, and important years. During that span, we’ve had multiple months (including recently) where there wasn’t enough monthly income to cover the bills. There are times the stress and obligations feel like too much to handle. Some days I wake up and wonder what in the world I’m doing. I think back to my old career (and the money that came with it) and wonder if life would be better had I just stayed. As a fun and somewhat depressing fact, I just realized I’ve left somewhere around $800,000 of income on the table over the past four years. When I think of it that way…..ouch!

Do I regret it? Not for a single moment. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Don’t get me wrong…..there is some vibrant, lush green grass on the other side. But some of it’s also dry, brown, and dead. We’re just so busy focusing on the one or two aspects we miss or yearn for, that we can’t see all the rest of it. Don’t worry, I do the same thing. But then I get little reminders that snap me back to a better perspective. Like this excerpt from a handwritten note I recently received from a former client:

“Because of your work, our family’s life has been changed forever.”

Wow! I got goosebumps when I read that one. I don’t think I deserve that much credit, but I’m grateful for their kind words. Someday, when we’ve taken our final breath, our legacy won’t be measured by dollars collected, professional titles and designations accumulated, or the possessions we leave behind. It will be measured by the impact we’ve made on this world and the difference we made in the lives of others. People won’t speak to what we did, but rather how we made them feel.

** I wrote this article for a handful of specific people, but I suspect a few hundred others will read it and also realize it was written just for them.

Getting Punched in the Face

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” - Mike Tyson

As I type this, Sarah is sick…..very sick. Probably the sickest I’ve ever seen in my life. Here we are, in one of the most beautiful places on earth, staying in an awesome hotel, on an amazing trip. We had so many plans for things to do, places to see, and food to eat. Instead, Sarah is curled up in the fetal position in bed. Homesick doesn’t even begin to describe how she feels. As her husband, I feel helpless. Sure, I’m bummed we lost our day together. More so, I just feel terrible for her and wish I could either fix it or take her place.

As a business owner, I’m all too familiar with the reality we WILL get punched in the face. It’s not an if, but when. Something bad happens almost daily. I was recently with a friend when I received a phone call about something tremendously terrible happening. After I hung up and explained to my friend what had happened, he asked, “why don’t you seem more upset about this?” My answer was simple, “I knew it was going to happen.” Technically, I didn’t know this exact thing was going to happen (it was an atomic bomb of terrible). But I knew something was going to happen. This new situation just happened to be that something. Long ago did I give up my naive expectation of smooth success. The journey is anything but smooth.

Sarah and I are having an amazing trip. We’ve seen things we never imagined, met so many wonderful people, and created memories we will never forget. Then there was today. Sarah and I have a choice to make. We can either keep going and fight through this mess…..or give up. In life, money, and work, we also have the same choice. When we get punched in the face, we can fight through it……or give up. Sadly, I’ve seen far too many people simply give up when the going got tough. These decisions break my heart, as I often know how amazing someone’s journey can be if they would just keep fighting. It’s rarely easy, but always worth it. Perhaps you’re fighting the good fight in a particular area of your money or work. Trying to get out of debt. Saving for a car. Trying to earn a promotion. Building your income to meet your basic needs. We are all fighting some battle. Please keep fighting!

Please pray for Sarah’s health, and for her and I to fight through this to complete our voyage safely. Perhaps someday we’ll look back at this day and laugh about it. But right now, it feels anything but funny.

Simple, But Hard

When talking to friends and acquaintances throughout the course of life, I regularly hear criticisms and complaints about financially irresponsible people in their life. Maybe it’s their grown child, neighbor, sibling, friend, or colleague. Since I’m the guy who helps people with money, they perceive me as a good outlet to vent these frustrations.

On one hand, I completely get where they are coming from. We should handle money better…..and doing so is simple. However, just because it’s simple, it doesn’t make it easy. I believe personal finance is really, really simple, and really, really hard. Telling someone in your life to “do it better” is a fool’s game. That would be like me unsuccessfully trying to rotate the tires on my car and having my mechanically inclined brother-in-law tell me to just “do it better.” It may be simple, but it’s hard. I was never taught, so how would I know how to do it?

But here’s where it gets beautiful. If I desire to learn how to rotate tires AND my brother-in-law is willing to teach me, I too will learn the art and science of rotating tires. It’s simple, but hard.

Finance is the same way. If there are people in your life who struggle with finances and have the desire to get better, you have the power to teach them or connect them with the resources that can. It’s simple, but hard.

If you’re looking for a cheap and simple resource, we have a podcast. It’s free, it’s good (I’m totally biased), there’s a ton of content (170+ episodes), and its packaged in succinct 10-15 minute bites.