C.S. Lewis Makes a Good Point

One of my favorite C.S. Lewis stories revolves around a night he and his friend were walking down the street. Along the path, they see a homeless man. Lewis immediately reached into his pockets, pulled out all the cash he had on him, and handed it to the man. As they walked away, his friend said, "You shouldn't have done that. He's just going to squander it on tobacco and alcohol." Mr. Lewis looks at his friend and replies, "Well, that's what I was going to do with it."

I think this story illustrates the imperfection of humanity and our ability to show grace through it. While it's true that we are called to be good stewards of our resources, some things are bigger than money. In this case, dignity. Lewis recognized the humanity in this homeless man and chose to show him dignity. It's a sharp but beautiful story that has helped shape my heart around generosity.

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Yesterday afternoon, the boys and I were riding bikes after school when we approached a homeless man getting some reprieve from the sun. My gut instinct was to ignore him, but I knew he deserved far more dignity than that. Eventually, the boys and I approached him. I asked if he could use some cash, then gave him everything I had in my pocket (+/- $17). He was beyond grateful for this unsolicited gift, which led to a fun conversation. The man shared a few pieces of his story, we chatted about his day, he asked the kids about their favorite bible verses, and he asked if there was a thrift shop nearby where he could pick up a few supplies. Before leaving, I asked if he needed anything. He said it would be amazing if I could help him find a phone charger. I told him I could absolutely make that happen, and I would be back later to drop it off.

When we got home, Pax headed straight for the pantry. Sarah, seeing him out of the corner of her eye, said, "Pax, no food right now. I'm making dinner." Pax, quick to defend himself, responded, "This isn't for me, Mom. I'm making Ben a snack bag. I don't want him to be hungry tonight." He gets a grocery sack from under the sink, then fills it with beef sticks, peanuts, granola bars, almonds, animal crackers (can't forget the animal crackers!), and apples. "Dad, do you have the charger ready? We should go take this to him right now."

Wow. This is from a first-grader. While most of us adults are busy assessing the merit, use, and deservingness of a potential gift, this little boy is busy showing love, compassion, and action. I'm always proud of my kids, but this moment was a bit more special. C.S. Lewis makes a good point, but Pax already knew it in his heart. Generosity always wins.

The Case Against (Hosting) Garage Sales

I love garage sales. Before having kids, I would regularly hit the local neighborhoods on Saturday mornings, looking for an exciting score. It felt like a modern-day treasure hunt. Some days I would strike out, and others, I would hit the jackpot! 

With that context in mind, I'm against hosting garage sales. High cost, low reward, and most importantly, a giant missed opportunity. I'll share a brief story to illustrate why I land where I land. Many years ago, I found out via Facebook that my obviously wealthy friends were hosting a garage sale. Knowing what I know about their careers, they easily combined for $500,000 of annual income (and have the house and cars to match that perception). Out of pure curiosity, I showed up at the garage sale. Disorienting doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had by combing through $5 skillets and $6 bedsheets while standing in the driveway of an $600,000 house (for my non-Midwest friends, that's a pretty nice house). 

First, I don't think they are evil or doing something unethical. It's their life and they get to do whatever they want. However, I believe they whiffed on one of the greatest giving opportunities of their lives. Tens of thousands of dollars of material goods were sold that day, for maybe a few hundred bucks. The alternative option was to bless others in significantly profound ways. That kitchen set? There's probably a single mom in their community that just left an abusive marriage that would be over the moon to receive that gift. Or the bedroom goods? They probably have some friends with a kid who just left the nest with few resources. The list can go on and on.

Sarah and I had this conversation relatively early in our marriage. We committed to never selling anything. Any time we part ways with something, it will be given away. It's not ours to begin with, after all. We get to benefit from it for a while, then share it with someone else can do the same. For more than a decade, that belief has carried through to our actions. My favorite example of this was in late 2019 when we sold our 4-bedroom house and downsized into a 2-bedroom townhome. We gave away nearly every material possession we had. 

• Our mower went to a former youth group kid who had just purchased his first home.

• We gave my beautiful office furniture to a local woman with terminal cancer. 

• Our kitchen table went to a close friend, and we regularly eat at that table when we visit them. 

• Tons of baby clothes and supplies went to former youth group kids and clients who were becoming first-time parents. 

We could have easily sold this stuff, but instead we got to be on the giving end of some special blessings. These are beautiful opportunities in front of each of us. We all have something to share, and I believe sharing is better than any price you could charge. 

Wrestling With Trust in a Shady Alley

Yesterday at lunch, TJ and I decided to buy tickets to last night's Chicago Cubs game. After the conference concluded, we headed straight toward Wrigleyville. The traffic was brutal, so what we believed would be plenty of time available before the game got squeezed. Once we arrived, we had a heck of a time finding parking. It was an absolute mess!

Then, we found our beacon of hope. A man was standing on the street with a sign that read, "Parking: $30." Just what we needed! He waved us down a shady-looking alley and eventually to a shady-looking garage. He pointed at the garage and said, "Just back it in here." TJ and I looked at each other, both nervous about what was happening. We apologized to the man and told him we would find alternate arrangements. As we headed back out of the alley, we recognized two things: 1) we were running out of time, and 2) maybe we just needed to trust him.

We put the car in reverse and headed back to the shady-looking garage in the shady-looking alley. We nervously parked the car and told him we changed our mind. He only accepted cash, but we only had $10 on us....far short of his $30 fee. "That's ok, you can just bring it when you come back!" Of course he's ok with us not paying him.....the parts he's about to strip from my car are worth several grand!

He said he wouldn't be around later in the night....he has to go to work. No big deal, however. "You can just put the money under this bucket when you leave," as he pointed to some construction materials near the front of the garage. Let me get this straight. We're leaving our car in a stranger's shady-looking garage, he doesn't care that we don't pay him right away, and he won't even be around when we return to ensure we actually do pay him? "I trust you guys. I hope you have fun at the game." Wow, he's definitely stealing our car.

Fast forward four hours. TJ and I had a memorable time together and were ready to deal with whatever consequences we had coming for us. How do you think the story ends?

My car is there, right where we left it. The man is nowhere to be found (as he foreshadowed). It's just us, my car, and this shady-looking garage in a now pitch-black shady-looking alley.

We didn't trust him, but he trusted us. He had no reason to trust us. He could have told us to leave. He could have forced our hand. But he didn't. He trusted. He showed us grace. We're glad that we (eventually) trusted him as well. We didn't have a pen/paper to write him a thank you note, so we threw in an extra $10 under the bucket as a gesture for his gesture.

That man taught us a valuable lesson. Trust. Grace. Generosity.

The Ripple Effects of Sharing

In the summer of 2020, just as the COVID lockdowns were starting to take hold, one of our friends gave us the surprise of all surprises. They unexpectedly reached out and asked if we wanted to spend a week at their condo in a popular lake town. We had never been to this town, but had always heard rave reviews. We excitedly and gratefully accepted their invitation. It was sincerely one of the best weeks our family had experienced in white a while. The following spring, the same friend reached out via text and asked what dates we wanted. Wait, what!?!? That wasn't a one-time event?!?! We did it again.....and similarly, it was an amazing experience for my family.

Fast forward to this week, and my family is in the midst of our fourth annual trip to our friends' condo. Grateful doesn't even begin to explain how we feel about this. It's become one of the most anticipated weeks of the year, for the kids and parents alike. We've created many memories on these trips, and the kids talk about it year-round.

As much as I enjoy being on the giving end of generosity, being on the receiving end of this ongoing generous gift is truly beautiful. Our friends have been blessed with this place, and instead of keeping it all to themselves (which they have every right to do), they choose to share it. I'm continually humbled by the gift and can't express my gratitude enough.

Generosity, in all its forms, has ripple effects. When someone is on either the giving or receiving side of generosity, it impacts them. That impact, sometimes visible and sometimes not, materializes in varying ways. For me, this specific act of generosity has inspired several ideas for generosity in my own journey. It's also become a cornerstone of my children's summer, giving them memories and experiences they wouldn't otherwise have. I suspect that when my kids eventually understand the magnatude of generosity shown to them in this act, they too will be inspired to their own forms of generosity.

Generosity always wins, but the ripple effects can span much broader and deeper than we'll ever know. It's a beautiful thing, and I'm always grateful to be on either side of it. Know that every generous act, whether on the giving or receiving end, has the opportunity to create ripple effects in someone's journey. That someone just may be you!

A Price Tag on Legacy?

I was talking to someone the other day about big-picture financial goals. This topic often produces some interesting ideas, but there are a few responses I hear over and over. This particular man uttered an all-to-common phrase, "Leave a legacy for my kids." And by legacy, he meant millions of dollars dumped into his children's laps. I know this for two reasons: 1) that's typically what this phrase means in modern America, and 2) he clarified and said it means leaving his kids millions of dollars.

This phrase is common, especially for Christians, for one big reason: it's frequently discussed, advocated for, and glorified by one of the nation's top financial personalities. I hear this phrase multiple times per week, and it usually goes hand-in-hand with similar concepts, such as creating generational wealth, eliminating the need for your kids to work, and giving your kids more than you had. I get a queasy feeling just typing that.....

In a recent podcast episode, Cole and I talked about the idea of leaving our children a bunch of money one day. I made a comment that created more buzz than I had anticipated. I said I didn't believe in leaving large sums of money to my kids. Instead, most of what we have will either be given away upon our death or put into a charitable trust where my kids will manage its longer-term distribution. There are two primary reasons for this perspective. First, it's not my money to begin with. If I believe all I have is God's, which I do, then I don't own it......my job is merely to manage it while I'm here. If that's true, what makes me think I should pass it down to my kids instead of blessing and serving others? Second, I think my kids deserve better than to have their drive and ambitions chopped off at the knees by a big pot of money. They deserve the opportunity to carve their own path, pursue work that matters, and use their unique gifts and talents to create an impact on this world. A big pot of unearned money can quickly zap this from them in a heartbeat. Yes, it's possible that a large sum of money could help in their endeavors. It's also true that I could successfully rob a nearby convenience store, but it's probably not a good idea to try. Behavioral science, statistics, and my own experience working with countless families tell me there's a higher probability for downside than upside.

Want to leave a legacy for your kids? That's awesome, me too!!! I just define legacy differently than a big pile of cash. For me, legacy is about character, faith, generosity, humility, impact, and service to others. Money factors zero into this. If my kids have millions of dollars but not the traits listed above, my legacy is garbage. If my kids have limited financial means but possess these traits, I succeeded in the mission. You can't put a price tag on legacy.

The Generosity of Campers

As a lifelong camper, I have vivid camping memories spanning from my childhood to the present day. These memories fill all sorts of buckets (exploring, cooking, swimming, etc.), but there’s a special bucket called “generosity.” I don’t know what it is about camping, but it brings out the best in some people. There’s something about having new, temporary neighbors, and some level of shared experience, that connects people. It’s this idea of community, but actually lived out. When someone is trying to back in their camper, a total stranger swoops in to guide them. Another camper has an extra bundle of firewood, so they gift it to the adjacent campsite who just pulled in that afternoon. A few people are randomly walking by a group of people enjoying a meal, and they receive a thoughtful invite to stop and grab a bite to eat. A group of friends are playing volleyball or basketball, but they invite another group to join them. Total strangers, quickly turned friends, sharing what they have.

There’s a genuine hospitality and openness that comes out when people are camping. Perhaps it has something to do with getting away from life’s busyness, or maybe it’s because other people are there for the same reason, or perhaps there are a lot less stress points weighing people down. Regardless, there’s a beauty in this degree of lived community.

I think we should bottle this up and bring it back to our normal lives. And by we, I do mean we. I think I fall into a wide swath of people who show more hospitality to neighbors on a camping trip than back home. In some ways, I show a ton of hospitality, but in other ways, I don’t at all. Perhaps some introspection is in order on this one. If I’m being honest with myself, I think it’s a matter of falling into the trap of busy. We get so busy that we can’t see the obvious opportunities and need right in front of our noses. I know I’m guilty of this at times. Sometimes I’ll wake up out of my stress-induced stupor and see it, while other times, someone in my life will point it out to me. Regardless, I know I periodically miss the mark.

There’s no better time than now to create a true culture of community around us in our daily lives. When we get it right, it’s beautiful. When we miss the mark, it’s a huge missed opportunity. We won’t always nail itt, but man, we can certainly do better…..myself included.

Empty Pantries and Rolexes

I had a fantastic week working in Midland, TX. The days were long and I missed my family, but I’m so glad I had the opportunity to make the trip and do work that matters. As I was flying home last night, I inadvertently found myself eavesdropping on a conversation happening immediately behind me. It was a man, probably in his 40s, talking to another man. They started talking about where they grew up, but the discussion quickly shifted to the first man’s childhood. He shared the harrowing story of poverty and how he and his siblings never knew if there would be a meal at night. The pantry was often empty, and he and his siblings would often find small jobs to bring in a little extra money to contribute to the family. I really felt for this man. I know there are a lot of people who go through similar experiences, and all are heartbreaking to me.

Fast forward an hour, and the two men start talking again. The same man again shares about his life. This time, the conversation is drastically different. He’s talking about his toys and trips. The spoils of his work. He’s an oil field guy, so there’s no doubt he grinds in his career. Work hard, play hard, as they say. What he said next perked my ears. “A few years ago, I bought a Rolex. I always wanted a Rolex, so I decided to get one. $15,000. But after wearing it once, I realized I didn’t really like it. So I just threw it in a drawer. Been sitting there for maybe 10 years. Oh well.”

As he was sharing this story, all I could think about was how $15,000 would have changed his family’s life when he was a kid with an empty pantry and an empty stomach. Granted, he probably doesn’t own a Delorean to go back in time*…..but he kind of does. There are so many people struggling today. Struggling in the same way he once struggled. Kids who go to bed hungry every day, probably in his own town. How much impact could he make with $15,000? Probably a ton! Instead, there’s $15,000 (plus appreciation) just sitting in a junk drawer in his kitchen.

I’m not demeaning this man. In fact, he’s pretty normal. Maybe not the Rolex part, but in the way he’s lost perspective as more resources came into his life. I see it daily and walk alongside countless families fighting that same battle. Some are winning, and some are losing. It’s so easy to lose sight of where we came from. We whine about how our 5-bedroom house isn’t big enough, yet that dumpy 1-bedroom apartment 20 years ago was just fine. We’re adamant that we need to drop $10,000+ to stay on-site at Disney World to “get the full experience,” but we were happy as clams to sit on the floorboards of the no-A/C van, listening to our parents’ lame music for 10 straight hours, on a family road trip to Mount Rushmore when we were kids. Here’s the cool part, though. It’s never too late. We are one or two decisions from drastically and suddenly shifting the trajectory of our life (and maybe someone else’s). Don’t allow money to let you lose perspective.

*Side note: I heard the other day that if Back to the Future was made today, Marty McFly would go back to 1993. Let that sink in……

No Good Deed: The Rest of the Story

Yesterday, I shared the story of a crappy flight experience where I tried to be generous and do the right thing, but quickly paid a harsh price for said generosity. If you haven't read that post yet, I highly recommend you do before reading the rest of this article. During this horrendous experience, I did the one thing that could possibly help me keep my sanity: I started writing. The frustration I experienced while sitting in my plane seat happened while we were experiencing a severe delay in taking off. So as I'm writing, the pilot announced the flight would be delayed for "at least 1 hour" as maintenance crews fix a broken part. They then asked us to get off the plane and await further instructions. That's when I wrote the majority of yesterday's article.

I have a confession for you. Yesterday's post wasn't the whole story. As I was lamenting the situation to myself and in my writing, I stated, "All we can do is put our best foot forward and hope good will come from our actions (whether we see it or not)." Today's post is about what happened next.

After a lengthy delay, we all got back on the plane......well, most of us. Given the severity of the delay, many people were going to miss their connecting flights and had to make alternative arrangements. Thus, there were far fewer people on the plane. Due to a minor miracle (and much luck), I had an entire row to myself. For this, I was extremely excited!!!! As we were getting ready to take off, the mom behind me (the one who leered at me as if I was a child molester) engaged me and thanked me for being so kind to their little girl. They revealed to me how they were on day two of flight cancellations and hadn't slept in two nights. This fact would most certainly explain why the dad was so irritable, or as I referred to him yesterday, "belligerent." As the conversation continued, they realized I was the one who gave up my seat so they could all sit together as a family. They expressed their gratitude for this gesture, especially for how exhausted and distraught their last few days have made them. In short, this was a good family, with the best intentions, clearly struggling, but majorly grateful for my small generous act.

Remember my comment from yesterday? "All we can do is put our best foot forward and hope good will come from our actions (whether we see it or not)." Doing the right thing is always the right thing. We can never go wrong with being generous. I meant those words when I said them yesterday, but I'm so grateful for the swift and forceful reminder of how important our generosity, humility, and empathy is. It always matters.

No Good Deed

Yesterday, while waiting to board a flight, I heard my name called over the loudspeaker. Since I suspected I wasn't lucky enough to get upgraded to first class, I knew it wouldn't be a wonderful moment of my day.

I sauntered up to the counter, where they informed me there was a family who wanted to sit together. I wait for the punchline. To make that happen, they want me to change seats. Doing so required me to go from an aisle seat to a window seat. They weren't telling me.....they were asking me. 100% my choice. Should I stay in the seat I want, or should I move so a handful of strangers can sit where they want while I get jammed against the window?

I certainly didn't want to move from the aisle to a window, but in my mind, it was the right thing to do. I understand what it's like to travel with kids; as I thought about it, it felt like moving was the right and generous thing to do. Fast forward 30 minutes, I'm sitting in my new and downgraded window seat......right in front of the family who consolidated into my old seat. And as luck would have it, their toddler was sitting directly behind me, where she repeatedly and continually kicked, punched, and slammed the back of my chair. To top it off, the parents were quite rude. The dad was somewhat belligerent and acted like a complete jerk. At one point, I turned around to say hello and engage with the cute little girl, which was met with harshness from the parents (perhaps assuming that I was a predator attempting to prey on their little girl). Overall, it was an incredibly frustrating experience.

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say. If I'm being candid, the whole thing felt pretty crappy. I wouldn't take it back, though. Doing the right thing is always the right thing. We can never truly lose if we're pursuing generosity. All we can do is put our best foot forward and hope good will come from our actions (whether we see it or not). I made a sacrifice so a family could sit together. They did sit together, which was probably better than not sitting together, and it turns out I'm still alive and healthy.

I'm just going to call that a win. A small and somewhat crappy win. But a win nonetheless!!

Through Children's Eyes

Yesterday was a series of firsts for Finn and Pax. Their first flight, their first In-N-Out burger, and their first time in the ocean. For the cherry on top, we shot off a bunch of fireworks with our friends to end the night (not a first, but who doesn’t love blowing stuff up!?!?). It was a fun day, indeed, but what makes it special for me is watching it through their eyes. The looks of shock, awe, excitement, and amazement…..all of them are gold! It can be magical.

I sometimes get jealous of how excited kids get. The simplest thing for a kid might as well be the Powerball jackpot. We adults, on the other hand, oftentimes struggle to get excited about even the coolest of things. I suppose that’s what happens after you’ve lived long enough and nothing feels truly new.

I think this is one of the contributing factors to why many adults try to spend their way to happiness. Upping the ante, shooting higher, going bigger. Sometimes we make drastic decisions in hopes of sparking something. Maybe it’s that something we used to feel way back when in childhood.

But what if we could find a way to regain some of that childlike excitement? I’ve been experimenting with this idea for a while now…..especially as it pertains to travel. The 1,000th flight and 400th hotel start to feel a bit blah, but there are so many ways to light that fire of wonder. For me, it’s seeking out a new city, or maybe a new neighborhood in a city you’ve already spent a lot of time in. That’s what Sarah and I did during a recent trip to Doha, Qatar. We intentionally explored a different part of the city, forcing ourselves to get uncomfortable. It felt like a whole new adventure. Or maybe we’ll try to find under-the-radar sites to visit, or unique food, or connect with different people.

To be honest, there’s one more idea that’s been better than any of the others. Finding ways to loop other people into the journey with us. I may not be able to experience something for the first time again, but I can help others gain that experience in their own lives (and share it with them). This is truly one of my favorite things in the world. It’s an act of generosity. Some people want these new experiences but don’t know how to access them. Each of us has access to something unique in life, just waiting to be shared with others. Maybe it’s a place, or an event, or a relationship, or a skill. When we share it, in a way, we get to watch it through their eyes. That’s a true gift…..for the giver.

Sharing What You Have: Pool Edition

Generosity comes in many forms. It’s not simply the money you give to church each week, or a monetary gift you leave someone in need, or a donation to a local organization. These are all examples of giving, but generosity is a much broader concept. As I’ve said before, we’re all called to share what we have, not what we don’t. What we each have to give is different. It’s a beautiful mix of resources, skills, time, influence, experience, and possessions. Every single one of us has something to give. if we’re willing to participate.

Yesterday, my family was treated to a very special gift. Some local friends hosted us at their backyard pool. We spent many hours relaxing, playing, conversing, eating, and drinking. We had an absolute blast and were grateful for the time spent with our friends. To them, they were just inviting someone to join them in their weekly ritual of spending time in their backyard. To us, it was a very sweet and special gift.

This is the beauty of sharing what we have. We’re just living life, AND inviting someone else into it. Every time we step outside ourselves and bring someone else in, it’s a form of generosity. I’m not sure this family really thought of it this way, but they provided such a profound gift to my family. They helped us create new family memories, build relationships with friends, and relax on an otherwise stressful day.

When we look at generosity through the lens of sharing what we have, it opens us to a whole new world of possibilities. We’re so grateful to our friends for sharing with us! It was much appreciated and it emboldens us to continue sharing what we have. That’s the beauty of sharing. We don’t have a backyard pool like them, but we have other things to share. If we all had the same thing to share, it wouldn’t be worth sharing.

So as you go about your work and play today, spend a few minutes thinking about what you have to share with others. Then, simply act.

Celebration of Generosity Reflections

Wow, it was an amazing three days at the Celebration of Generosity Conference. I got home around midnight last night, exhausted, fulfilled, and content. It was my first time attending this event, and I had no idea what to expect. Between the wonderful talks, the powerful testimonies, and the discussions I shared with fellow attendees, I was deeply moved. I’ve spent a lot of time processing what I experienced. Knowing me, there’s a high likelihood that I could quickly get swept back into life in the hours or days to come. I don’t want to let this opportunity pass me by. Therefore, I’m going to share with you my top 10 takeaways and next steps for myself. Partly for accountability, but partly to give you something to ponder about your own generosity journey. Whenever I refer to “our/we”, that’s me referring to Sarah and me.

1. Despite our margin already being somewhat tight, we need to challenge ourselves to increase our monthly giving. We’re already giving sacrificially and joyfully, but there’s more sacrifice to be had.

2. There are a few organizations in our life that need to get a lump-sum gift, ASAP.

3. I’m more convinced now than ever that we need to set up a DAF (donor-advised fund). This has been on my to-do list for years, but I just haven’t followed through. Some of the discussions I had on the trip reminded me of how much good this will bring into our life (probably something to discuss in a future blog post). We started this process with NCF a while back, and plan to close the loop on this ASAP.

4. I need to do a better job at bringing others along for the journey with me, Sarah included. In my efforts to remain anonymous in our giving, we do it in a bit of a silo and lose out on an opportunity to rally others.

5. I need to double down on creating more content (written, audio, and video) about generosity. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet.

6. We need to ramp up the intentionality and frequency of Sarah and me having generosity meetings. We’ve gotten lax over the past few years. We have a giving plan in place, but it’s largely set to auto-pilot and we rarely discuss it intentionally.

7. As Christians, we’re already weird (i.e. counter-cultural). If that’s true, why not lean in and ramp up the weirdness when it comes to radical generosity?

8. Though we have intentionality with our kids when it comes to money and giving, we need to double down on our efforts to model generosity. Not in what we say, but by inviting them into the doing with us. This trip spurred many ideas I’m excited to explore.

9. As a Christian, I have a high level of faith and trust that God will provide. I feel like I followed the call in who I serve and how I serve them in my business. Though the trust and faith remain intact, I think I’ve tried to take back control over the years. It’s time to reverse that approach.

10. I’m more convicted now than ever that we made the right choices with our generosity journey and my career transition. There’s a purpose to all this. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

There you have it! Those are my top 10 takeaways. Unfortunately, Sarah will probably learn about them from the blog before she and I have a chance to discuss in person. Sarah, I’m sorry and you’re welcome!

Did anything I said above trigger any thoughts, ideas, or questions? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Hit reply or leave a comment. Have an awesome day!

Generosity Capers

Ca-per (noun): an activity or escapade, typically one that is illicit or ridiculous.

One of the breakout sessions in the Celebration of Generosity Conference yesterday was titled, Generosity Capers. In it, they talked about the importance and impact of creating unique giving opportunities. Capers come in all shapes and sizes. Some capers are expensive, while others are cheap. Some capers are planned, while others are spontaneous. Some capers benefit friends, while others benefit strangers. Some capers are complex, while others are simple. Some capers are serious, while others are silly. Some capers involve cash, while others involve goods or services.

A large tip for the waitress. An anonymous utility bill payment for a struggling colleague. Inviting a friend on a trip, then paying for them. Unexpectedly mowing your neighbor’s lawn while they are gone for the weekend. Surprising a loved one when a service member returns early from a deployment……those always get me! All examples of generosity capers. The possibilities are endless, and we’re only limited by our creativity.

I frequently talk about this topic on the podcast (including our recent episode 220), but I never had a name for it. Now I do! They are called generosity capers! This is one of my favorite forms of giving. Yesterday’s session convicted me of a few things when it comes to generosity capers:

1) They matter more than I realized, and there’s a whole army of people perpetrating them.

2) I need to get even more ridiculous in my execution.

3) I need to do a better job bringing others into my capers.

As part of the session, they created their own caper. In the printed materials handed out to us, one person had a little sticker hidden in it. That person was surprised to receive a Chic-fil-A delivery, scheduled to arrive in just a few minutes (yes, during the session). That wasn’t the caper, though. Earlier in the day, the session leader reached out to Chic-fil-A’s manager and specifically asked them to hand-select who would make this delivery. The manager chose a single mom who had recently experienced a lot of life. This is where it gets good. The session leader communicated to us that the plan was to surprise the delivery person with an unexpected cash gift (we’ll call it a handsome tip). The gift was going to be “in the four figures.” Then, the session attendees were invited to participate if they desired. People all around me were ripping out their wallets and frantically scanning Venmo QR codes to submit their gifts.

About 10 minutes later, in comes the delivery. It was a somewhat awkward situation to hand-deliver a sack of yummy chicken in front of a crowded hotel ballroom, but she came rolling up with a smile on her face. A woman in our group shared some encouraging words with the woman, then prayed for her. Then, a man handed her a check…….$5,000!!!! She looked stunned. “That’s a big tip,” she exclaimed with a shaky voice. She couldn’t quite find the words, but her eyes spoke humility and gratitude. The energy in the room was amazing and I’m so grateful to be part of such a gesture.

Generosity capers, man! New name, same great taste. Generosity always wins!

* stay tuned for some absolutely ridiculous capers, coming soon.

You Might Be That Somebody

Last night was the opening session of the Celebrate Generosity Conference, hosted by Generous Giving. I’m blessed to attend this event in Scottsdale, Arizona with a few friends / board colleagues. Even just in the opening session, so much wisdom and inspiration was shared. My head was spinning on the car ride back to the hotel. I pondered which nugget would be the basis of today’s post, which was a difficult decision after all I had experienced.

But the answer was pretty clear. One of the speakers (a married couple) shared about the brokenness of their own lives, how it almost crushed them, the redemption and grace they received, and the ministry that came next. In the conversation about ministry, they shared about how run down and dilapidated their neighborhood had become. Drugs, gangs, poverty, and economic headwinds had done a number on this community, and the state of the residential neighborhoods showcased it.

They thought to themselves how someone needs to do something about it. Then, as the husband so bluntly put it, “If somebody needs to do something, you might be that somebody.” Maybe it was…..no, it definitely was. Fast forward many years, they’ve revitalized hundreds of homes in multiple cities in their community.

It makes me reflect on my own life. Yeah, I’m doing a lot of good things. But how many times do I say to myself, “Somebody needs to do something,” then quickly go back to my life? What if I’m that somebody? What if I’m supposed to step in and make something happen? I can think of times when I actually did act on that gut feeling, but I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times I simply didn’t act. I was waiting for somebody, when perhaps I was that somebody all along.

What about you? Are you that somebody? Is there something in front of you that needs a champion, a leader, a fire igniter, a doer? You might be that somebody.

"I'll Get the Next One"

We Americans have a problem. It’s an epidemic of the non-medical sorts. On the whole, we struggle to accept generosity from one another. Many people are quick to show generosity to others (which is awesome!), but when it comes to being on the receiving end of generosity, we avoid it like the plague. We tend to defer, deflect, and re-direct. Guilt and pride are usually at the center of our generosity denials, but there can be many reasons for it.

The other day, I was out to lunch with a friend. We had a great time. We caught up on life, work, family, and of course, NBA playoffs. When it was time to pay the bill, he quickly jumped in with, “I got you today, Travis!” Awesome stuff. I’m always grateful when someone shows me generosity, and I have a personal rule that I will never say “no” when someone shows me generosity. I quickly responded, “Thanks so much, man.”

Then, however, I instinctively and foolishly added one more sentence. “I’ll get it next time.” Do you see what I did there? Without even thinking about it, I accidentally turned his gift into a transaction. Tit for tat, if you will. Considering I repeatedly beat on this drum of accepting generosity from others, it shocked me when I realized what I just said. I felt bad, honestly. Then, as I’m feeling like a dummy for having just said that, my friend responds, “No you won’t. This is a gift. Accept the gift. I listen to the podcast. You have to accept the gift.” Right on, my man! Well played!

Generosity always wins, but generosity can’t take hold if we defer, deflect, or re-direct. I almost robbed him of his generosity, and what a shame if that happened. I’m grateful for my friend calling me out. I’ll try to do better next time, and I hope you do, too.

The Many Shapes and Sizes of Sacrifice

On the heels of yesterday’s post, a handful of people reached out asking about the idea of sacrifice. The joy piece is simple and self-explanatory. The sacrifice piece, however, can be a bit trickier. Sacrifice looks different for everyone. For my youth group students, giving $20 may be a sacrifice. To a few of my clients, though, a $10,000 gift wouldn’t be a sacrifice at all.

Looking at it from a broader level, sacrifice comes in many forms. Let’s go back to the person who could give $10,000 and it not be sacrificial. That same person could volunteer to serve at the very same organization for a day and it would be a huge sacrifice.

I stumbled into an interesting situation yesterday. I was in a text exchange with my friend, Bailey, who is coming back to see her family this weekend. Somewhere in there, I thought it would be a fun idea to bring her family a 64-ounce bottle of Northern Vessel cold brew latte to enjoy at their Easter brunch. Then, my brain went one step further. What if I bought bottles for a whole bunch of families to enjoy at their Easter celebrations? Fast forward a few hours and my day went from getting a lot of pressing work tasks done to becoming a Northern Vessel DoorDash Santa Claus. It was a really fun day and I thoroughly enjoyed blessing these families. Pure joy in my book!

It was only a few hundred dollars, which came from our giving fund. We plan for things like this, so that piece in and of itself wasn't necessarily sacrificial. The sacrifice was the fact I gave up much of my workday to make it happen. There was a very real cost to this, as I was up until about 2AM this morning doing the work items I was supposed to be doing when I was delivering bottles. No complaints from me…..it was so worth it! The sacrifice was what made it that much sweeter.

So here’s my big takeaway today: sacrifice is always contextual to the giver. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. Sometimes it takes creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to create sacrificial giving opportunities. You won’t always get it right, but generosity is always a fun thing to fail forward in. Happy giving!

It is Good

I keep wanting to introduce today’s blog by wishing everyone a “Happy Good Friday,” but that seems a bit off. It doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t seem worth celebrating……that shall come on Sunday. Today is always a tricky day for me. It feels intense, somber, and introspective.

Last night, I had the privilege of attending a Passover dinner (Seder meal) with a youth group student I’m mentoring. This particular event is the culmination of a class our youth group kids have the option of taking during their high school career. It’s always an honor to be part of something this special. I was truly grateful for the opportunity to share this experience with my mentee.

The emotions of the night always hits me in different ways in different years. Last night, I kept thinking about the idea of generosity. At its core, the Bible is a series of books centered around generosity, culminating with the ultimate gift. As my friend Gary Hoag so simply puts it, generosity is a beautiful combination of two things: joy and sacrifice. Our gifts should be made with a cheerful heart and require us to sacrifice. Years ago, I was exploring the concept of sacrificial generosity with Gary and he asked me a simple, but powerful question. “Does your giving require you to give up something important to you?” At the time, my answer was a clear “no.” It wasn’t until later that I realized what it really meant to experience true sacrifice in my giving.

Easter and Good Friday are just that: joyful and sacrificial. As last night’s group explored the details, chronology, and context of Jesus’ final hours, it felt anything but joyful. It was painful, gut-wrenching, and hard to imagine. But it’s the very definition of the word sacrifice. He sacrificed everything……for us. The ultimate gift.

The joy? That comes next. When they rolled away the stone to reveal an empty tomb, that’s when everything changed. Disbelief and confusion quickly turned into belief and joy. He is risen. A joy unlike any other joy.

Joy and sacrifice, the building blocks of generosity. Whether you’re a Christian or not, I hope you take a few moments today to think about this definition of generosity. Maybe you have joy in your giving….awesome! Maybe you have sacrifice in your giving….. awesome! I promise you something, though. If you combine the two, everything changes and there’s no going back.

Good Friday may not be the most joyous of holidays, but man, it is good.

Generous Tomorrow, Generous Today

A very common line of thinking I observe with people is this notion of building wealth today…..then being generous down the road (*if/when/after they achieve a yet-to-be-determined level of wealth, income, or other financial achievements to be named at a later date). It’s spoken as if building wealth or reaching a certain status is a prerequisite to generosity. While I disagree with this sentiment, I do think there is one prerequisite to generosity: having a pulse. Tall bar, I know. If we’re breathing, we should be generous…..period. Not IF we have a certain net worth. Not WHEN we’ve achieved a certain lifestyle. Not AFTER we’re attained a certain income. Generous today, wherever you are.

For this reason, I was absolutely delighted when I recently spent some time with a couple I had just met. I was completely enthralled by this conversation. I had spent a total of 15 minutes with them in my entire life, and I was ready to be their biggest cheerleader. Then, the wife said something that pushed me over the top. I’m paraphrasing, but she said something to the tune of, “we want to be generous tomorrow……..AND generous today.” YES!!! I about jumped out of my chair. This couple gets it, and their heart to serve others is contagious.

Somewhere along the road, our culture determined generosity is something we do IF/WHEN/AFTER we’ve achieved a specific set of milestones. Until then, we should live for ourselves and pursue the path toward “building wealth.” Instead of building up wealth through hoarding, what if we all took a page out of this couple’s playbook to build up others through generosity? As sure as the sky is blue, I believe it would change our culture from the inside out.

The sick, the poor, the abused, the hurt, the hungry, the cold, the vulnerable, the old, the young, and the lonely. They are here today. Luckily, so are you. Luckily, so am I. Let’s make a difference…..today.

Wanna Be Like Mike

When I was a kid, I remember watching and re-watching an epic Gatorade commercial featuring Michael Jordan. Here’, I’ll jog your memory:

Everyone wanted to be like Mike, and so did I! After all, he IS the GOAT! Eventually, though, I realized I probably wouldn’t be all that much like Mike. My growth spurt stopped at 5’9”, I entered my 40s, and my jumper is a tad (ok, a ton) rusty. I suspect my NBA dreams died before they had a chance to flourish. I’ll take that one up with my therapist.

I have so many fond memories of that Mike, but today I’m talking about a different Mike. This Mike is a high school teacher with a passion for young people. He spends his livelihood equipping teens to be good stewards with their money and careers. He’s a connector, a leader, and an encourager. The last part is where I want to focus today. Mike is a masterful encourager. I’ve seen it with his students and I’ve experienced it first-hand. This guy went from stranger, to acquaintance, to friend, to brother in a matter of about six months. Every time I see him, he’s exploding with energy, has an insightful idea for me to consider, and somehow lifts me up. Even a 30-second interaction with him makes my day better.

When I’m feeling fatigued, doubtful, or defeated, Mike seems to pop out of nowhere with the best encouragement. He often seems like my biggest cheerleader, but I suspect others would say the very same thing about him. That’s why I wanna be like Mike. He has a gift, and he uses it to make this world a better place. In some ways, I feel like I do some of these things, too……but someday I hope to do them as well as Mike does. That’s the impact people like Mike can have. Their mere presence in other people’s lives has the power to multiply that very spirit of love and generosity. What a gift!

When I used to wanna be like Mike, it meant hitting a soul-crushing buzzer-beater over Craig Ehlo’s dome. Today, when I wanna be like Mike, it means I want to make an impact on those around me, creating a multiplying and lasting difference in this world.

Giving What You Have: PTO Edition

In multiple posts, I’ve mentioned the words of my wise friend, Gary Hoag. “Give what you have, not what you don’t.” This simple saying has changed my perspective on life, as it has for countless others. When the topic of generosity comes up, people are quick to highlight all the things they don’t have. But everyone has something to give. We just have to each recognize what we’re blessed with and decide to share it with others.

This idea hit full speed today as I was chatting with a friend. My friend has been dealing with significant and scary medical issues. I’m sure it’s taken a toll emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially. It’s been a brutal journey and there’s no way around it. This situation has caused my friend to miss a lot of work recently. Luckily she has PTO (personal time off - i.e. paid vacation time), which has been a blessing. Unfortunately, her bank of PTO hours is waning, and more time off will most certainly be needed. Knowing this, their family has been preparing the finances to take unpaid time off to navigate the weeks ahead.

Recognizing this and also caring for their friend/colleague, her co-workers decided to step up. In a very creative idea, they volunteered to donate some of their own PTO time to their struggling friend, meaning their sacrifice allows her to get additional time off without losing her pay. I couldn’t have loved this story more! These people have zero obligation to her, surely have their own issues at home (financial or otherwise), and could have just kept doing what they were doing. But they didn’t! They had something to give, and gave it!

Such a beautiful model of what generosity looks like. They gave what they had, not what they didn’t. I hope you find some creative opportunities this week to share what you have.