UnGuilty Pleasures

I have a confession to make. I despise the term “guilty pleasure.” I know it’s a ubiquitous phrase in our culture, but do you ever stop to think about what it really means? At its core, calling something a guilty pleasure insinuates that you shouldn’t be doing it. It’s something you enjoy, but know it’s wrong (or wrong-ish). If anything, we should call adultery and stealing guilty pleasures.

I’m reminded of my hatred of this phrase because a client recently referred to getting her nails done as a guilty pleasure. Another client referred to golfing as a guilty pleasure. And a third person recently said her morning coffee at a local coffee shop is a guilty pleasure. None of these things are inherently bad. In fact, they may be quite good. The question isn’t about right and wrong, but rather right for YOU and wrong for YOU. For many of my friends, spending money on golf is the absolute best use of their personal spending money. For me, it would be counter-productive. Why would I want to blow my money on something that will just upset me and make me want to break something (which will cost me more money)? That doesn’t sound like a good value.

Instead, perhaps we can rebrand guilty pleasure into “unguilty pleasure.” These are purely wants, but add value to our lives. By definition, then, they are important. Yes, wants can be important. One of mine is a monthly massage. About two years ago, after spending years believing massages are something I could neither afford nor justify, I signed up for a membership at a local massage studio. Each month, I pay a fee and get a massage. In hindsight, it’s one of the best expenditures I’ve made in years. I always look forward to my appointment, and it adds value to my life. I don’t feel guilty about this. It’s not for everyone, but it is absolutely for me.

Today, I have two homework assignments for you. First, please remove the phrase “guilty pleasure” from your vocabulary. You deserve better than to do something you feel guilty about or perceive it as a bad decision. Second, lean hard into the following question: “What’s one want in my life that would make my life better?” Don’t filter your answer through the lens of needs and wants. It’s a want....you don’t need it. Let’s make that clear. It’s purely a want. Filter it through the lens of whether it adds value to your life. If it does, go for it! No guilt, no second-guessing, and no regret.

Enjoy those unguilty pleasures!

Fun is Free

In a recent post, I advocated for people not reactively cutting fun spending from their life. I argue these things can be important and we shouldn’t always be so quick to gut them. As he often does, my friend Randy hit “reply” on the e-mail and shared his insights with me. He reminded me that we don’t need to spend money to enjoy life. He’s so right!

There are a lot of fun things money can buy, but there’s not a direct correlation between cost and fun. Cost doesn’t equal fun. Fun equals fun. It reminds me of last year’s spring break trip with my family. We drove to a nearby city, stayed in a hotel, ate a bunch of good food, and took the kids to see/do a ton of fun things. When we got home, I asked the kids what their favorite part of the trip was. They both had the same response: “swimming with Daddy.” They were referring to the time we spent in the dumpy indoor pool at the hotel. You know, one of the few things on our trip that didn’t cost money.

As I reflect back on my life, there’s a very low correlation between money and fun. Sure, I’ve done some really fun things that cost a lot of money. Sitting courtside at a Dallas Mavs game = a ton of fun! Traveling to Asia = so much fun! But if I’m really honest with myself, most of the fun I experience in my life is either free or very cheap. Getting ice cream cones with the family. Going on bike rides. Shooting hoops at the park with the boys. Grabbing a drink or coffee with a friend. Having a Netflix date with Sarah.

Simple is good, and simple can be fun. When we realize we don’t need money to enjoy life or have fun, it gives us freedom and it forces us to think creatively. In that creativity comes joy, fun, and memories. I always enjoy the occasional splurge on some luxury fun, but most of the time, I really love soaking in the simple joys that make life worth living.

Credit Card Myths: Travel Edition

If you know me at any level, whether that be personally or someone who consumes some of our content, you’ll know that I’m anti-credit card. I have several reasons for despising credit cards, spanning the spectrum of principles, ethics, psychology, control, and simplicity, to name a few. I won’t rehash all the reasons in this post. Every time I discuss the topic of credit cards, I know all the arguments people will use against me. The most popular defense of credit cards is the benefit of points, cash back, and miles. If you’re interested, I did a podcast episode about why most people (yes, probably even you) are actually losing money with their points.

Another common pushback I receive about my position on credit cards is the necessity of having one to travel. Flights, hotels, rental cars, and retailers…..all of these require a credit card, right? What kind of idiot travels without a credit card? Well, me. My wife and I just got back from a 10-day trip that included Qatar and multiple cities in Thailand. No credit card. As always, we had cash, our primary debit card, and our travel debit card. That’s it! To be honest, there’s not a lot to argue about. It works great. It worked as well on this trip as the other 30+ countries I’ve been to. It’s a myth. We don’t NEED a credit card to travel.

There are a few nuances. Take hotels, for example. Most hotels require a damage deposit to protect themselves in the event you decide to throw a raver or rip the TV off the wall. Each hotel is different, as evidenced by the three we stayed at. One put a temporary $200 hold on our travel debit card, one required a refundable $100 cash deposit, and the third didn’t require anything. All of our flights go on a debit card. That’s an absolute non-issue. As for rental cars, it’s hit and miss. Any time I need to rent a car, I’ll check with the company beforehand to ensure they don’t require a debit card. Some do, but most don’t. I just choose one that doesn’t.

Life is always simpler without a credit card, and travel life is no different. We have a sum of money in our travel fund to spend on travel. When we use an ATM to take out local currency, it comes out of our account. When we swipe our debit card at retailers, it comes out of our account. When we grab an Uber, it comes out of our account. At any point on the trip, we can see exactly how much we have left to spend. It’s easy, it’s simple, and it’s freeing. We have zero financial stress coming back to America, as we only spent the money we had in our travel checking account. Nothing will haunt us, we won’t be paying for this trip for the next few months (or years), and we don’t have to worry about anything other than trying to catch up with life when we return. I’ve worked with hundreds of families over the years and I can confirm the post-trip stress caused by credit card use can be brutal.

There are so many myths surrounding the topic of credit cards. Hopefully today’s thoughts about one of them will at least give you something to think about. Happy travels!

Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

A few days ago, I met a woman in Thailand who is familiar with our podcast. It was shocking that she knows who we are - especially on the other side of the world - but her kind words were uplifting and encouraging. One of the things she said struck me. She loves how we continually talk about and teach the importance of being financially responsible……while also living with meaning and enjoyment.

She went on to share how this mindset makes all the difference. It’s easy to put our mathematical hat on and make the ”best financial decision.” Doing so takes no effort and no thoughtfulness. We simply do the math and make whatever decision results in us having the most money. Unfortunately, when we let math guide all of our decisions, we turn into fun-hating robots. We hoard our resources, say “no” to anything fun, and constantly wonder when enough is enough (spoiler: it will never be). Conversely, living financially responsible AND with meaning allows us to disconnect ourselves from constantly making mathematical decisions.

Yes, let’s save, give, invest, and practice frugality in the various areas of life. These are inherently good things and our life will most certainly be better for having done them. However, let’s also take that trip, buy that thing, make that memory, eat that meal, and go to that event. These things add so much richness to our life. It’s about balance and intentionality. When we get it right, we truly can have our cake……and eat it, too.

The Dreaded B-Word

I talk about budgeting every single day. It’s a cornerstone of my coaching. It’s not because I especially love budgeting, but rather because of how important it is. It’s so important, in my perspective, that we need to get that right if we want to achieve the other financial goals in our life. People will often tell me they do great without a budget. That may be partially true, but they also don’t know what they don’t know. From my experience, they are driving a 5-speed transmission but only think it has 3 gears. 3rd gear feels really fast if you’ve never experienced a 4th or 5th gear. Something very powerful is unlocked when budgeting is done right.

I get it, the idea of budgeting is terrible. Most people (fairly) assume budgeting will suck the fun out of their life. That’s simply how budgeting is approached by the vast majority of our financial world. Stop spending, be responsible, cut back. We treat it as a crash diet. I think we’re missing the point. The objective of a budget isn’t to spend less, but rather to spend better. It’s a way to live out our values. So through the lens of “spend less”, yeah, I’d hate budgeting, too. But through the lens of “spend better”, budgeting gives us life. It’s a tangible way to execute our hopes, dreams, values, and principles.

Last week, one of my 6-year-olds approached me and asked, “Daddy, when is the end of the month?” When I asked him why, he responded, “because I want to go to Chuck-E-Cheese and thought we could put Chuck-E-Cheese in the new budget.” “Yeah, bud, let’s put it in the budget next month. That will be a lot of fun. What else should we put into the budget?”

Even at 6, he’s realizing this money stuff shouldn’t suck. It shouldn’t rip the fun and enjoyment out of life. It shouldn’t hinder our ability to live a quality life. He’s already learning that it’s a way that we can intentionally plan for fun things and live out our family’s values.

As this week begins, I encourage you to look at money through the lens of “spend better”, not “spend less.”