"What In the World Am I Doing?"

"What in the world am I doing?" These were the words spoken by a close friend who was feeling extraordinarily stressed by his work. It was a redundant question, but these words hit home for me. I, too, have these exact same moments. What in the world am I doing!?!?

He knows what he's doing, of course. He knows exactly what he's doing, and it's awesome. He's making a massive impact on this world, and his work provides him a ton of meaning along the way. This is the thing about work that matters. It's not necessarily fun. It can be, but only some of the time. Other parts of the work can be tremendously challenging. It can occasionally wreak havoc on us mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Not because the work is bad or unhealthy, but because work that matters is rarely easy. It forces us to push ourselves, take the road less traveled, and go against the grain. Living in discomfort, aggressively pursuing something we are called to do, and fighting through the many challenges just comes with the territory. It's hard, but so, so beautiful.

My friend went on to say that though he wishes he didn't feel this way, it's a sign that he's exactly where he needs to be. There is an alternate reality where he lives an easier, less stressful, more comfortable life. I know this, and he knows this. But never in a million years would he trade this for that alternate life. His "why" is too big, the stakes too high, and the impact potential too grand. Thus, he will persevere and the adventure will continue.

Perhaps I'm not making the best case for pursuing work that matters. It's far from perfect and often quite uncomfortable. On the flip side, I don't want to paint an unrealistically rosy picture of a fun-filled, easy-going, stress-free life. Context matters and candor is key.

But here's the promise I can make you: it's worth it. Work that matters is always worth it. If you've found it in your life, congratulations on being in rarified air. Don't ever take it for granted or let it go. If you haven't found it.....yet......the search is not over!

Comfort or Impact

For nearly two years, Cole has been prodding me to record a specific episode I desperately fought against. His idea was simple: He would join me on the mics, and we would each detail our family's monthly budget...bit by bit. Yes, one of the things I try to focus on when creating content is vulnerability and transparency. Honesty always wins. However, the episode Cole was proposing was about seven steps further than I was comfortable going. I've discussed all sorts of personal financial and non-financial topics on the podcast and blog. However, this idea was something completely different. It was beyond my level of comfort.

A few weeks ago, he finally beat me into submission and we recorded the episode. I dreaded the moments leading up to it, the actual recording was fine (I always love being on the mics), and I dreaded it every day until it was published....then I dreaded it some more. As Cole predicted, it quickly gained traction and will likely become one of our top 10 most downloaded episodes ever.....much to my chagrin.

Cole and I have received much feedback about the episode since it was published. Here's the interesting part, though. The feedback rarely has anything to do with money. Rather, it revolves around the values and principles we discussed in and around the budget. Topics such as parenting, marriage, faith, generosity, and inheritances. It's as I always say: money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. I think this episode perfectly reflects that concept. We sat down to talk about money, but instead, we ended up talking about what really matters most.

It's fun to see the impact this episode is having on people. Spouses are listening to it together, then using it as the basis for their own conversations. It's giving couples new topics to discuss, such as personal spending, investing in the marriage, and what it means to "provide" for their children. It's providing outside context to help people recognize they aren't the only ones struggling with inflation, putting all the pieces together, and prioritization.

I fought this for two years, but here we are. If my comfort had continued to win out, this impact wouldn't happen. I can have comfort or impact, but I can't have both. It's a sobering lesson for someone who talks about this very principle on a weekly basis. "I told you so" probably won't come out of Cole's mouth, so I'll just name it here. Cole, you told me so. Right on, my man. Keep pushing me when I need to be pushed. We can have comfort or impact, but we can't have both.

If you want to listen to this episode, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Confronting Fear Head-On

I’m scheduled to deliver two talks this week. One is at a high school youth group and the other is a keynote address at a high school leadership conference. I couldn’t be more excited about these opportunities. They also kick off a series of speaking engagements I have lined up for the spring.

Confession: public speaking is my biggest fear. Ironic, I know. Several years ago, I had a strong desire to combat my fear of speaking. I knew I would be doing some level of public speaking in my career, and didn’t want to bomb, so I looked for opportunities to speak to other audiences as practice. I was a mess the first time I spoke on stage. Vomit was involved…..and sweating….and shaky hands……and stuttering. Did I mention it was a mess? I hope no footage exists of that first one.

Then I did it again, then again, then again. Each time, I performed a little better and I was a bit less terrified. Before I knew it, it went from my biggest fear to something I get excited about. For me, there’s nothing quite like the rush of knowing I have 30 minutes of people’s attention to possibly make an impact. Equal parts responsibility and opportunity. I still get nervous, and I’d definitely still call public speaking my greatest fear (well maybe #2 after snakes).

I don’t do it as much as I should, but I’m a big believer in confronting fear head-on. I have a list of things I’m scared to do, and hopefully I’ll get the courage to attack each one soon. I’ll end by sharing one. I don’t do well being in the wilderness, especially if it involves being wet and cold. I’ve addressed this fear somewhat through a men’s ministry trip I take each fall to the Boundary Waters. I used to be terrified of that trip. But now, I actually enjoy it (sort of). That means it’s time to step it up. Sometime soon, I’m going to do a solo trip into the wilderness. Just me, a canoe, whatever is in my pack, and three days of isolation. Just typing that scares me to death. That’s a good sign I should probably get to planning.

What about you? What fears do you want to confront?

“Are You Comfortable?”

As I was on my way to a board meeting yesterday, I received a call from our Media Director, Rebekah. It was just a typical chat about a number of items on our plate, but she introduced the idea of me appearing on a fairly popular TV program. I think she could tell the other end of the phone seemed a bit too silent, so she asked the question, “Are you comfortable with that?”

My answer: “No, I’m not. Which is why we should do it.”

I believe comfort is a trap. It lulls us into complacency and provides an artificial feeling of security, sucking meaning out of our lives. Truth is, I’ll be utterly terrified if Rebekah ends up nailing down this (or any) TV appearance for us.

Anything can make us uncomfortable…..until we do it. The first time I recorded a podcast episode I was scared out of my mind. After a few episodes, it just felt like part of my life. The first time I spoke on stage in front of a few hundred people, I vomited in a trash can backstage. A few dozen talks later, it became one of my favorite things in the world.

One last thought about comfort. We don’t need to take extreme measures to push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Small steps can take us a long way. If we’re scared of heights, we don’t need to jump out of a plane. Maybe a good first step is to spend a few minutes on the balcony of a 10th floor residential unit. Just one small step at a time, then another.

As you venture into your day, ask yourself where you’ve become too comfortable…..then take a small step to get just outside that zone. It’s scary, but worth it!

Here's to the Next 49 Years

As I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday, I received a notification about memories “on this day.” These memories are usually populated by pictures of my kids, looking cute……or videos of my kids, doing something that will surely draw blood. Yesterday’s was different. It was the picture of 801 Grand, the signature building in the Des Moines skyline. It was a picture I took, exactly one year ago, as I walked out of that building for the very last time after a pretty amazing 15-year career. I remember that moment like it was yesterday. So many emotions running through my mind. I had just said my very last goodbye. It was Kristin, a very dear friend who I’d worked closely with for the better part of a decade. As I said that goodbye, I nearly lost it. It took every ounce of me to get into that elevator and make it out of the building in once piece. I spent the next 3 days in an absolute daze. It felt disorienting, scary, nostalgic, and exciting……and maybe a little bit of oh-crap-what-did-I-just-do. Wow, one year flew by fast!!!

These last 365 days have been wild, not to mention the COVID-19 quarantine life that’s shaken up everything we consider normal. As I reflect on this last year of entrepreneurship, I thought it would be worthwhile to jot down some of the lessons I’ve learned through the journey. And if I wasn’t self-conscious enough about my shortcomings, I’ll just go ahead and broadcast them to the world! So here we go:

• The minute we think we have everything figured out is the moment we’ve lost the game. Life changes so fast, and the world of business ownership simply magnifies that. By the time I hit the one-year mark in my career journey, I thought I would be engaging in speaking engagements on a weekly basis. Instead, I haven’t spent time in a group larger than ten in two-and-a-half months and I suddenly find myself pulling all-nighters in front of a camera recording our new financial video course for young adults (www.meaningover.money). Didn’t see that one coming!

• It’s so easy to undervalue our own work. Call it imposter syndrome, call it lack of confidence, call it whatever you want. We simply do a terrible job adequately valuing ourselves when we’re forced to put a price on our work. I was sitting around the table with a group of peers and I made a random comment about the value of my work being worth way more than I charge. A woman interrupted me and asked “how much is your work worth, then?” I said “probably double”…….to which she responded “then you should be charging double!” I laughed off this feedback, but the group continued to badger me about it. Fast forward 24 hours, I was meeting with a potential client and I quoted them a price that was nearly double what I had been previously charging. They called it “a bargain”. Wow, talk about eating a slice of humble pie! Today, my coaching rates are nearly triple what some of my earliest clients paid. I wish I would have learned this lesson earlier, but some of those earlier clients are pretty glad I didn’t!

• Speaking of people badgering me, here’s the next lesson I learned: I can’t do it alone! Business ownership, especially as a solopreneur, can be super lonely. Here’s the good news…..nobody said we have to do it alone! Luckily I had the self-awareness early on to know there’s no way I could do this by myself. So I found awesome people and surrounded myself with them. I hired my good friend Ryan to help me with creative and design elements…….things I hate doing, and frankly suck at. I hired an accountant to help me navigate bookkeeping and taxes. I hired a business coach (BizLab) who could help me unlock my potential in ways I never knew were possible. That was a game-changer! Last but not least, I rented co-work office space at Blue Bean where I was able to find a community of bright, driven, encouraging peers. These people have changed my life! They started as acquaintances, which turned into collaborators, which morphed into family. These people make me better and I’m so grateful to have a work family…..even if their work is totally different than my work. We don’t have to do it alone, and I’m grateful for that!

• Entrepreneurship is exciting…..and scary! Will we have enough money to pay the bills this month? Will people really trust me? With a million different options, which path should I focus on? Should I stick with coaching, maybe lean into speaking, or finally start that podcast, maybe write something that exposes the core of me, or accept a crazy, or accept an out-of-the-blue offer to create a bangin’ video course from a young, hungry filmmaker? We live in a culture, in a time, where there are no boundaries and no limits. Wow, that’s exciting…..and scary! I wake up every day excited to find out what life will throw at me!

• Speaking of scary, here’s my last lesson: financial insecurity while following your dreams is 100,000% better than living with financial security doing something that doesn’t inspire you. The difference between like and love isn’t incremental. It’s the difference between climbing a flight of stairs and climbing Everest. Comfort is overrated. I deeply desire to be uncomfortable, and this season has given me a triple helping of discomfort. But I can say with absolute certainty that I’d never in a million years exchange this life for financial security. My gut told me this was true, but the last 365 days has proven it over, and over, and over. When we create impact on others, pursue work that matters, and redefine the role money plays in our life, it unlocks a truly meaningful life. And once you taste it, nothing can ever again satisfy that thirst.

As I was contemplating my career change just over a year ago, I made a comment to a trusted friend: “I only have 50 good working years left in me.” He thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. I truly believe if we’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to do, there’s nothing that can stop us from wanting to do it, including some arbitrary retirement age placed upon us by society. I love spending time with my family, and doing cool hobbies, and traveling, and watching sports, and eating amazing food, and experiencing all the amazing culture this planet has to offer……but I also love my work! If that’s true, then a life without life-giving, passion-filled work would likely feel empty. So as I look back and celebrate this last year, I’m grateful, humbled, and inspired by everything that’s happened……..here’s to the next 49 years!