It Will Change You

It wasn’t long ago that I struggled to create written content for this blog. For three years, I would maybe publish 1-3 posts per month. That is if I published anything at all. The most I ever published in a single month was 7 posts (which felt like a massive accomplishment). I simply didn’t have enough content or enough time to do more than 3 posts most months.

Fast forward to September 2022. I was having a coffee with my friend and mentor, Gary Hoag. I was asking him some questions in preparation for introducing him as a keynote speaker for the event we were hosting that night. I wanted to mention his blog, as it’s a major part of his life and ministry. In this conversation, it was revealed to me that he’d published daily for approximately 13 years. That’s more than 4,600 consecutive days!!!! What?!?! Oh yeah, and he’s also one of the busiest people I know and travels the world monthly. Yet, here he is cranking out tons of amazing content. Of course he has a bunch of future posts in the tank and pre-scheduled, right? Nope! He writes each post daily. As he was explaining this to me, all I could think about was how crazy this friend of mine was (not the first time I’ve thought that about Gary!). Then, he added, “Writing daily will change you.”

I didn’t know what he meant at the time, but I would soon find out. It was shortly thereafter that I decided to start publishing The Daily Meaning 7 days per week. Considering I struggled to post even 1-3 times per month, the idea of posting 365 days per year sounded insane. Many trusted people in my life advised me not to do it. But I had a little Gary on my shoulder, repeating the phrase, “It will change you.”

Today marks the 150th consecutive day of publishing this blog. Gary was right! It has changed me in so many ways. I no longer write if/when a good idea strikes me and I have ample time to do it. Instead, I write every single night because hundreds of people are expecting to open their e-mail to find a new post tomorrow morning. After you do that enough times, it’s amazing how the time and the ideas magically start to appear. That rhythm, habit, responsibility, and opportunity has profoundly changed me in so many ways.

This post isn’t really about writing a blog. This post is about something in your life that feels so close, but yet so far. Something you really want to do, but it’s too scary to actually pursue. It’s something you want to be, but imposter syndrome prevents you from allowing yourself to go for it. The rhythm, habit, responsibility, and opportunity. These things are so powerful. Here’s my promise to you (if you decide to actually go for it): it will change you!

"Daddy, When Does the New Month Start?"

I was expecting a lot of feedback after yesterday’s post, and I was not disappointed. Some people had some questions. Some people shared their own experiences and how it’s negatively impacted them for literally decades. Some people had mixed feelings about my advice. Some people, who use money as a weapon with their kids, defended using money as a weapon with their kids. Lastly, some people interpreted the post as me advocating that we as parents not talk to our kids about money. This is where today’s post comes in.

I absolutely think we should talk to our kids about money. Yesterday’s post was about not using money as a weapon to make kids feel guilty. What does it look like to talk to our kids about money in a healthy way? First, it needs to be contextual to their age. When my kids were 3-4, we simply talked about what money is and what it’s for. At five, we practiced what it looks like to separate our money into buckets for spending and giving. Then, we’d literally hop in the car to a) stop at church so the kids can give, then b) stop at Target so the kids could buy a toy. Pretty simple stuff. To be honest, we don’t talk about money a lot in our house. I bring it up once in a while when there’s a relevant way to tie it into the conversation/activity. The conversations usually revolve around generosity, fun experiences we can do together, things we’re saving for, and the status of our budget. We always talk about ideas, not numbers……they are 6, after all. I sometimes wonder if these conversations have any impact on them. But once in a while, they say some very insightful things. For example, here’s a recent conversation I had out of the blue with one of our 6-year-olds:

Finn: “Daddy, when does the new month start?”

Me: “In a few days, bud. Why do you ask?”

Finn: “Can we put some money in the budget to go to the new Mario movie?”

Me: “Of course! There’s definitely money in there for that.”

Finn: “Enough for popcorn, too?”

Me: “Yeah man, we’ll get popcorn, too!”

They know we have a plan. They know there’s money specifically set aside for certain categories. They know money can be used for many different things….including generosity and fun experiences. They know it’s finite. They also know we respect and follow the budget. There have been plenty of times when we’ve said “no” because there wasn’t any money left for that category this month. It doesn’t mean we’re poor or don’t love them. Rather, we’re modeling what it looks like to be disciplined and God-honoring with our finances. So when the topic of money comes up in our house, it’s never about there “not being enough”, but rather creating priorities and sticking to a plan. If done well, this will prevent kids from developing a scarcity mindset, or on the other hand, becoming entitled and spoiled. Kids absorb this like a sponge…..both the good and the bad.

We all carry financial baggage with us from our childhoods. It’s too late for all of us adults…..we can’t go back and undo it. But we have a chance to give our kids better. One conversation, one example, one action at a time.

Delayed Gratification

Later today, I’ll be delivering the keynote address at a Future Business Leaders of America conference. It will be comprised of 150-300 high school students interested in pursuing business careers. I’ll be talking about three myths I believed when I was younger, and why overcoming them can be transformational for their journey.

One topic I’ll bring up is delayed gratification. As humans, especially as young adult humans, we want what we want…..and we want it now. We also live in a culture that is tailored to give us the instant gratification we desire. Unfortunately, the important things in life rarely provide instant gratification. It’s a slow burn of patience, discipline, persistence, and maybe a bit more patience.

As I reflect back on some of my successes, it dawned on me just how patient I was (even if it didn’t feel like it at the time):

• I offered financial coaching as a free ministry for more than six years before someone paid me to do it. Those years allowed me the opportunity to serve people well, learn my craft, carve out my approach, and discern my desired client base.

• I gave 95 talks before someone paid me to speak. I suspect the first 30+ were terrible! Every repetition allowed me to get comfortable on the stage, try new techniques, and find my voice.

• We’ve produced nearly 200 podcast episodes and haven’t made a single penny in revenue. That’s more than 60 hours of free content, available to the world. Maybe someday we’ll decide to create an income from the podcast, but until then our goal is to find our audience, add a ton of value to people’s lives, and start to bend the culture when it comes to work and money.

Patience isn’t easy, but it does get easier if we remember our why. My why is to make the deepest and broadest impact possible over the next 40 years. When I remind myself of this, it’s far easier to remain patient and keep my eyes focused on what truly matters (and what doesn’t).

1% Better

My friend TJ, founder and CEO of Northern Vessel Coffee Company, continually talks about the idea of getting a little bit better all the time. Or as he refers to it, “1% better every day.” When we hear this phrase, it sounds like a nice gentle upwards slope. 1% isn’t a lot, after all. All we need to do is get just a little bit better today, then just a bit better tomorrow.

Along those lines, my buddy, Louie, recently invited me into a Facebook group with one very simple mission. Everyone in the group will do one pushup on the first of January. Then two on the second. Then three on the third……and we will repeat for all 365 days of 2023. Sounds simple. In fact, my three pushups yesterday were a breeze! Also, can I note it was a 50% increase from the day prior? I’m crushing it! Ask me again how I’m feeling on day 45…..

We’re going to get a little bit better each day, one pushup at a time. It seems quite simple…..until I realize that means by NYE 2023 I’ll have done nearly 67,000 pushups on the year. Yikes! Little improvements, huge results. To be honest, I’ve never been overly dedicated to physical fitness. I always find stumbling blocks, excuses, and other reasons to push pause (i.e. quit). This will be the test of a lifetime for me.

Handing our finances is much the same way. If we get just a little bit better at budgeting, or generosity, or leaning into our values, or investing, or improving our career skills, or a number of other things, the upside is staggering. Not all at once, not instantly, and not even tomorrow, but slowly over a time.

You deserve better……yes, 1% better.

Pick Your One Thing

I was recently talking to a frustrated parent who was sharing their displeasure with their grown child’s financial habits….or lack thereof. In the conversation, they listed a dozen things this young adult needs to do better in order to get their financial life back on track. Things like stop spending on frivolous things, save more, get an emergency fund, get a second job, pay off their debt, start investing……and the list goes on and on. These things very well may be true, but there was a problem. If this young adult actually tries to do all these things, they will inevitably fail. They can’t go from having little-to-no healthy financial habits to implementing a dozen new things into their life at once. That’s a setup for defeat. It’s like telling me - who wants to get in better shape - I should run 3 miles each morning, do some yoga during lunch, and lift at night……7 days per week. There’s no chance I make it even 4 days doing this. Personal finance is the same.

If I were sitting down for coffee with this young person, I’d tell them to pick one thing and get really good at it. Any one of them would move them in a positive direction, but they must pick one and focus hard on it. Through repetition, they will create a stronger habit and continually get better at it. Eventually, it will just be something they do, like brushing their teeth.

For most people, the best and most effective place to start is to get in the habit of budgeting. Accounting for ALL income they have coming in this month, making sure each dollar has a purpose (spend/save/give), executing that plan, and tracking their progress. Then repeat again next month. The first few months will likely be ugly, but give yourself grace. Learn from the experience then do better next time. In a handful of months, you’ll wonder how you ever handled your money without a budget. Once you lock down this habit, all the other aspects of personal finance become accessible.

Even if you do well in this money arena, there’s always room to grow. What’s your one thing for this season of life? What one thing will you implement to enhance the quality of your life?

Looking Down the Mountain

We just recorded our 107th and final Meaning Over Money podcast episode of the year. That’s two episodes per week plus three bonus episodes. After typing that number, even I second-guessed whether that’s true. 107? Wow! That’s more than 30 hours of finished product content. Did that really happen? How did that happen?!?

Truth is, it didn’t feel like a lot as we were living it out. It was episode by episode, day by day, one foot in front of the other. It’s like climbing a mountain. While we’re in the midst of the climb, it doesn’t feel like we’re making a lot of progress. We climb, climb, and climb, and the peak doesn’t seem to get much closer. It’s only when we turn around and look down, we realize how far we’ve come. We know we’ve been climbing for a while, but it’s breathtaking to see just how high we are when we take a moment to look back.

I think this is a perfect metaphor for so many areas of life. Through all the hustle and bustle, comings and goings, we often fail to look down the mountain to see just how far we’ve come. In our finances, fitness, relationships, careers, skills, experience, faith, and so many more. Instead, we spend our time beating ourselves up, wishing we were better, and comparing ourselves to someone else. Instead of being proud and content with what we accomplished, we fixate on everything we wish we had done. Instead of celebrating the wins, we dwell on the losses. Or maybe that’s just me…..

If 21-year-old me could hop in a time machine to see what 41-year-old me would accomplish over those 20 years, I think he’d be pleased. It’s been an awfully steep mountain. I wish I would look down more often.