C.S. Lewis Makes a Good Point

One of my favorite C.S. Lewis stories revolves around a night he and his friend were walking down the street. Along the path, they see a homeless man. Lewis immediately reached into his pockets, pulled out all the cash he had on him, and handed it to the man. As they walked away, his friend said, "You shouldn't have done that. He's just going to squander it on tobacco and alcohol." Mr. Lewis looks at his friend and replies, "Well, that's what I was going to do with it."

I think this story illustrates the imperfection of humanity and our ability to show grace through it. While it's true that we are called to be good stewards of our resources, some things are bigger than money. In this case, dignity. Lewis recognized the humanity in this homeless man and chose to show him dignity. It's a sharp but beautiful story that has helped shape my heart around generosity.

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Yesterday afternoon, the boys and I were riding bikes after school when we approached a homeless man getting some reprieve from the sun. My gut instinct was to ignore him, but I knew he deserved far more dignity than that. Eventually, the boys and I approached him. I asked if he could use some cash, then gave him everything I had in my pocket (+/- $17). He was beyond grateful for this unsolicited gift, which led to a fun conversation. The man shared a few pieces of his story, we chatted about his day, he asked the kids about their favorite bible verses, and he asked if there was a thrift shop nearby where he could pick up a few supplies. Before leaving, I asked if he needed anything. He said it would be amazing if I could help him find a phone charger. I told him I could absolutely make that happen, and I would be back later to drop it off.

When we got home, Pax headed straight for the pantry. Sarah, seeing him out of the corner of her eye, said, "Pax, no food right now. I'm making dinner." Pax, quick to defend himself, responded, "This isn't for me, Mom. I'm making Ben a snack bag. I don't want him to be hungry tonight." He gets a grocery sack from under the sink, then fills it with beef sticks, peanuts, granola bars, almonds, animal crackers (can't forget the animal crackers!), and apples. "Dad, do you have the charger ready? We should go take this to him right now."

Wow. This is from a first-grader. While most of us adults are busy assessing the merit, use, and deservingness of a potential gift, this little boy is busy showing love, compassion, and action. I'm always proud of my kids, but this moment was a bit more special. C.S. Lewis makes a good point, but Pax already knew it in his heart. Generosity always wins.

Some Seeds Are Hard to Water

When it comes to work, ministry, and life, I often think about the idea of planting seeds. Whatever we’re doing, we have the opportunity, responsibility, and possibility to make an impact in someone’s life. This concept is the basis of my friend Gary Hoag’s book, The Sower. I highly recommend this one, by the way! When we water seeds, we never know how they will turn out. Some will sprout, while others won’t. Some will grow small, and some will grow big. But either way, they don’t sprout right when you water them…..it takes time. All we can do is diligently water, pray, water some more, and wait.

Some seeds are easy and fun to water. For me, that’s my youth group kids, clients, family, podcast listeners, readers, and speaking audiences. Watering those seeds is truly one of the greatest privileges of my life and there are very few things I’d rather do. Like all seeds, I never know which seeds will sprout, or when, but I love the process.

Some seeds, however, are hard to water. Yesterday, I found myself engaged in a brutal online conversation with a stranger. By “conversation”, I mean I got publicly eviscerated by someone and I tried to treat them with love. Yet, as I did, they continued to eviscerate me. I shared some of this conversation with my Facebook friends, partly as a way to set an example for handling our online presence with civility and dignity, and partly to hold myself accountable for handling my online presence with civility and dignity. After sharing this, I was flooded with thoughts and feedback from friends. I want to share a portion of one with you. This is from my friend, Laura H., and it moved me deeply.

“Years ago, when I was still in active addiction, I was like this person. I was so miserable with my life and was living in the victim mentality; basically feeling as if the "happy" and "got it all together" people of the world were mocking me with their encouraging posts or lessons on how to be better. In my mind I was a lost cause and "you people" needed to see that. The reason I tell you this is that, even though my comments spewed hate and insults, I was still watching. I read/listened to that person's stuff for a reason. A seed was planted and how that person responded to me decided if that seed would be watered and grow. I know that sounds like putting a big responsibility on someone, but in all actuality, it's the same responsibility that God puts on them to be disciples and share His Word and His Love. Getting back a response that validated my feelings always gave me a twinge of hope in the midst of my darkness. And I wouldn't comment anything else, but I would watch them. And I'd see them continue to be that genuine person to everyone else they interacted with. That also watered that seed. We never know what someone is dealing with and a compassionate response, even when you're angry or hurt, can make more of an impact than you even know. In all seriousness, it could save someone's life; that small twinge of hope is so powerful.”

Thank you so much, Laura! I’m grateful for your wisdom and your friendship. I needed to hear this, and many others do, too. Some seeds are hard to water….but it’s worth it.

The Chicken and Egg of Hospitality

Yesterday, I woke up to the pleasant surprise of my friend TJ having an op-ep published in the Des Moines Register. In it, he makes a case for genuine, servant-hearted hospitality. Not service, but hospitality. This is a topic that’s near and dear to TJ’s heart. I know this because I talk to him maybe 4-6 times per week and it comes up in approximately 100% of our conversations. It’s at the core of everything he does as a business owner (and as a person, frankly).

On the heels of this article being published, I quickly jumped into the social media comments…..that’s where all the good stuff happens, right?!?! I didn’t find as much ridiculous nonsense as I had expected, but this little gem jumped off the screen:

“Maybe if they paid better with benefits and customers weren’t dicks people would want to go back to ‘Hospitality’”

At my core, I understand where this person is coming from. I’ve personally witnessed disgusting behavior from retail management and customers alike. It feels ugly out there. Stores are short-staffed and their teams are underpaid, under-trained, under-appreciated, and under-cared for. It can be a recipe for disaster.

On the flip side, however, this idea feels a bit like a chicken-and-egg scenario. Does hospitality need to be earned, as this commenter is implying? If management only paid better and customers only acted better, then maybe retail employees would be willing to show hospitality. Really? I don’t think hospitality is something to be earned. I think it’s something that should be offered from the base level of human dignity and respect. It comes from a place of gratitude, humility, and a desire to meet another’s needs.

Here’s where the chicken-and-egg situation comes into play. The businesses in my world that show the most hospitality are often the ones that experience the most success, treat their staff with respect, pay fairly (or even generously), and have far fewer unhappy or abusive customers. Is genuine hospitality shown in these businesses because these things happened, or did these things happen because hospitality was shown? Do businesses treat people well because they are successful, or are they successful because they treat people well? Chicken, or egg?

It’s a question worth thinking about. I know where I stand, but I’ll let you decide for yourself.