The Chicken and Egg of Hospitality

Yesterday, I woke up to the pleasant surprise of my friend TJ having an op-ep published in the Des Moines Register. In it, he makes a case for genuine, servant-hearted hospitality. Not service, but hospitality. This is a topic that’s near and dear to TJ’s heart. I know this because I talk to him maybe 4-6 times per week and it comes up in approximately 100% of our conversations. It’s at the core of everything he does as a business owner (and as a person, frankly).

On the heels of this article being published, I quickly jumped into the social media comments…..that’s where all the good stuff happens, right?!?! I didn’t find as much ridiculous nonsense as I had expected, but this little gem jumped off the screen:

“Maybe if they paid better with benefits and customers weren’t dicks people would want to go back to ‘Hospitality’”

At my core, I understand where this person is coming from. I’ve personally witnessed disgusting behavior from retail management and customers alike. It feels ugly out there. Stores are short-staffed and their teams are underpaid, under-trained, under-appreciated, and under-cared for. It can be a recipe for disaster.

On the flip side, however, this idea feels a bit like a chicken-and-egg scenario. Does hospitality need to be earned, as this commenter is implying? If management only paid better and customers only acted better, then maybe retail employees would be willing to show hospitality. Really? I don’t think hospitality is something to be earned. I think it’s something that should be offered from the base level of human dignity and respect. It comes from a place of gratitude, humility, and a desire to meet another’s needs.

Here’s where the chicken-and-egg situation comes into play. The businesses in my world that show the most hospitality are often the ones that experience the most success, treat their staff with respect, pay fairly (or even generously), and have far fewer unhappy or abusive customers. Is genuine hospitality shown in these businesses because these things happened, or did these things happen because hospitality was shown? Do businesses treat people well because they are successful, or are they successful because they treat people well? Chicken, or egg?

It’s a question worth thinking about. I know where I stand, but I’ll let you decide for yourself.