Shame On Me

I did it again. I promised myself I wouldn't, but I did. I suppose I haven't had enough punishment yet. When will I learn? Maybe next time I'll know better. These thoughts ran through my head yesterday as I sat in a local restaurant. I'd been in that restaurant countless times, which usually ended with similar laments oozing out of my pores. Each time, I say to myself, "This is the final straw!" Yet, there I was, subjecting myself to a level of torment I clearly deserved.

Some places deserve our business, and some don't. This one doesn't. Bad food, lousy service, poor cleanliness, long waits, and terrible ingress/egress. My miserable experience was capped off by waiting 9 minutes for a car in front of me to get the courage to take a hard left into dangerous and speedy traffic. Just getting in and out is a torturous endeavor.

I'll take 100% of the blame for this one. After all, I knew exactly what I was getting into.....and as a result, I got what I deserved. However, there's something bigger at play. This restaurant doesn't deserve my business, or yours. They don't value their customers, and they certainly don't value their employees. The poor service is, in large part, due to management's unwillingness to adequately staff it. Yet, I'm part of the problem. I'm willingly giving money to this place when countless alternatives deserve my patronage. Every time I visit this place, I'm encouraging, supporting, and perpetuating a clear abuse of people, food, and power. It's exploitive, and I'm to blame. Shame on me.

This is where I draw a line in the sand. I'm apologetic for my role in this, and I hope others feel the same. Instead, I need to be more intentional about giving business to those who value me, their craft, and their people. I want to invest in those businesses. Those are the businesses that have earned the right for me to return again and again.

We need to choose wisely. When we give someone the right to serve us, they must earn the right to do it again. Some do, some don't. I think we need to honor the purity in this approach. It's simple, but difficult. It's easy to say, hard to do. I failed in this example, but it won't happen again. There's someone more deserving to serve me next time.

The Chicken and Egg of Hospitality

Yesterday, I woke up to the pleasant surprise of my friend TJ having an op-ep published in the Des Moines Register. In it, he makes a case for genuine, servant-hearted hospitality. Not service, but hospitality. This is a topic that’s near and dear to TJ’s heart. I know this because I talk to him maybe 4-6 times per week and it comes up in approximately 100% of our conversations. It’s at the core of everything he does as a business owner (and as a person, frankly).

On the heels of this article being published, I quickly jumped into the social media comments…..that’s where all the good stuff happens, right?!?! I didn’t find as much ridiculous nonsense as I had expected, but this little gem jumped off the screen:

“Maybe if they paid better with benefits and customers weren’t dicks people would want to go back to ‘Hospitality’”

At my core, I understand where this person is coming from. I’ve personally witnessed disgusting behavior from retail management and customers alike. It feels ugly out there. Stores are short-staffed and their teams are underpaid, under-trained, under-appreciated, and under-cared for. It can be a recipe for disaster.

On the flip side, however, this idea feels a bit like a chicken-and-egg scenario. Does hospitality need to be earned, as this commenter is implying? If management only paid better and customers only acted better, then maybe retail employees would be willing to show hospitality. Really? I don’t think hospitality is something to be earned. I think it’s something that should be offered from the base level of human dignity and respect. It comes from a place of gratitude, humility, and a desire to meet another’s needs.

Here’s where the chicken-and-egg situation comes into play. The businesses in my world that show the most hospitality are often the ones that experience the most success, treat their staff with respect, pay fairly (or even generously), and have far fewer unhappy or abusive customers. Is genuine hospitality shown in these businesses because these things happened, or did these things happen because hospitality was shown? Do businesses treat people well because they are successful, or are they successful because they treat people well? Chicken, or egg?

It’s a question worth thinking about. I know where I stand, but I’ll let you decide for yourself.