Comfort or Impact

For nearly two years, Cole has been prodding me to record a specific episode I desperately fought against. His idea was simple: He would join me on the mics, and we would each detail our family's monthly budget...bit by bit. Yes, one of the things I try to focus on when creating content is vulnerability and transparency. Honesty always wins. However, the episode Cole was proposing was about seven steps further than I was comfortable going. I've discussed all sorts of personal financial and non-financial topics on the podcast and blog. However, this idea was something completely different. It was beyond my level of comfort.

A few weeks ago, he finally beat me into submission and we recorded the episode. I dreaded the moments leading up to it, the actual recording was fine (I always love being on the mics), and I dreaded it every day until it was published....then I dreaded it some more. As Cole predicted, it quickly gained traction and will likely become one of our top 10 most downloaded episodes ever.....much to my chagrin.

Cole and I have received much feedback about the episode since it was published. Here's the interesting part, though. The feedback rarely has anything to do with money. Rather, it revolves around the values and principles we discussed in and around the budget. Topics such as parenting, marriage, faith, generosity, and inheritances. It's as I always say: money is NEVER about money. It's always about something bigger. I think this episode perfectly reflects that concept. We sat down to talk about money, but instead, we ended up talking about what really matters most.

It's fun to see the impact this episode is having on people. Spouses are listening to it together, then using it as the basis for their own conversations. It's giving couples new topics to discuss, such as personal spending, investing in the marriage, and what it means to "provide" for their children. It's providing outside context to help people recognize they aren't the only ones struggling with inflation, putting all the pieces together, and prioritization.

I fought this for two years, but here we are. If my comfort had continued to win out, this impact wouldn't happen. I can have comfort or impact, but I can't have both. It's a sobering lesson for someone who talks about this very principle on a weekly basis. "I told you so" probably won't come out of Cole's mouth, so I'll just name it here. Cole, you told me so. Right on, my man. Keep pushing me when I need to be pushed. We can have comfort or impact, but we can't have both.

If you want to listen to this episode, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Standard of Living vs. Quality of Life

One of my friends recently decided to downgrade his living situation. It was a difficult and humbling decision, but the right one for his current stage of life. In our discussion, he lamented how it's going to be hard having a lower standard of living. Reading between the lines, I could tell what he was really saying was that his life would inevitably become worse as a result of this decision. Embedded in his perspective is the belief that a higher standard of living increases happiness and a lower standard of living decreases happiness. While culture generally believes this to be true, I couldn't disagree more.

I think we're talking about two separate topics here: standard of living and quality of life. They are not the same!

Standard of living: "the degree of wealth and material comfort available to a person or community."

Quality of life: "the standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group."

Sure, a higher standard of living can increase one's quality of life. If it's 90 degrees outside, having AC (vs. not having AC) leads to both a higher standard of living and quality of life. This is a true statement. Let's add a wrinkle. Let's say the introduction of AC requires the individual to take on a large loan with $400 monthly payments. Yes, the AC still cools the air and increases the standard of living, but did it improve the quality of life? This is where the rubber meets the road. There's a cost to every benefit. In this hypothetical, the person needs to give up something to increase their standard of living. Maybe they will give up their dining out, or their ability to buy clothes, or a trip they've been saving for, or they need to trade more of their time for additional income.

This tension point is where my friend is on his journey. The cost of his high standard of living is impairing his quality of life. He's had to make dramatic sacrifices in other areas of his life and endure undue stress just to maintain his higher standard of living, resulting in a lower quality of life.

Conversely, my current life is a reflection of the opposite. Today, I have one of the lowest standards of living in my 20-year adult life, but the highest quality of life in my 20-year journey. Our financial life is simple. We live in a simple house (which we rent), we drive simple cars, and we have simple monthly wants. This structure opens up the doors for us to travel as we please, give generously, say "yes" to weird things, and engage in work that matters. Standard of living and quality of life are correlated, but often inversely, ironically.

As you think about your situation, take an inventory of the various aspects of your life that enhance your standard of living, and ask yourself if they increase your quality of life. You might be surprised by the answers.

There's So Much We Don't Know

Yesterday, we wrapped up two days of meetings and said goodbye to our friends. It was a long few days and lots of important work was accomplished. We grew our relationships, created memories, shared food (lots of food!), and told stories. The experience was priceless.

This morning (Thailand time while you were all sleeping), Sarah, me, and a few other friends hopped on a plane to Hua Hin, a beach town on the Gulf of Thailand. As we left the airport and stepped into Hua Hin, it felt like we were entering Florida. Palm trees, humid weather, and countless tourists excited to begin their vacation. So many familiar things, but also quite foreign at the same time. I couldn’t read any signs, the roads and driving patterns were quite different, and I didn’t recognize many of the storefront brands.

One of my favorite parts about international travel is that literally everything we do is new to me. It’s a constant reminder about how much I don’t know. Even a trip to the grocery store unearths new finds and curiosities. Life can feel so repetitive at times. The same roads, the same buildings, the same routines. Then when we travel abroad, every little bit of our day is unfamiliar, maybe uncomfortable, and extremely interesting. As I sit here writing this, I’m watching a sport I’ve never seen (or even heard of). Indoor soccer on a basketball court with a tiny little soccer ball. These players are like magicians, maneuvering this familiar but unfamiliar ball on a court that’s also familiar (but not).

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. It’s a humbling feeling, but also exciting. It’s a constant reminder that we’ve only scratched the surface of life. We can choose to fall into what’s normal and comfortable each day, or we can choose to learn something new by putting ourselves in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. I need to do that more often in my day-to-day life. If you ever see me in the street, ask me how I’m doing with it. It’s an endeavor worth pursuing.

“Are You Comfortable?”

As I was on my way to a board meeting yesterday, I received a call from our Media Director, Rebekah. It was just a typical chat about a number of items on our plate, but she introduced the idea of me appearing on a fairly popular TV program. I think she could tell the other end of the phone seemed a bit too silent, so she asked the question, “Are you comfortable with that?”

My answer: “No, I’m not. Which is why we should do it.”

I believe comfort is a trap. It lulls us into complacency and provides an artificial feeling of security, sucking meaning out of our lives. Truth is, I’ll be utterly terrified if Rebekah ends up nailing down this (or any) TV appearance for us.

Anything can make us uncomfortable…..until we do it. The first time I recorded a podcast episode I was scared out of my mind. After a few episodes, it just felt like part of my life. The first time I spoke on stage in front of a few hundred people, I vomited in a trash can backstage. A few dozen talks later, it became one of my favorite things in the world.

One last thought about comfort. We don’t need to take extreme measures to push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Small steps can take us a long way. If we’re scared of heights, we don’t need to jump out of a plane. Maybe a good first step is to spend a few minutes on the balcony of a 10th floor residential unit. Just one small step at a time, then another.

As you venture into your day, ask yourself where you’ve become too comfortable…..then take a small step to get just outside that zone. It’s scary, but worth it!

If You Won the Lottery

What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow? Would you stay at your current job? Would you immediately quit? Would you try something different? Would you take a different job in the same industry? Would you shift to an entirely different industry? Think about your answer before moving on to the next paragraph………

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Ok, I’m back. If your answer was anything other than “keep doing what I’m doing now”, why? What is it about receiving a bunch of money that propels us from the work we’re doing today to the work we dream of doing someday? I think the answer is generally pretty simple: security and comfort. When we feel secure and have comfort, we’re more inclined to go do the thing we’re meant to do.

If that’s true, can we also say we’re willingly throwing away our dreams and unique calling by consciously (or subconsciously) pursuing security and comfort? If you know exactly what you’d do if you won the lottery, and it’s different than what you’re doing now, does it mean you’ve placed security and comfort over a more meaningful life?

It’s an interesting question to ponder. Hope you have a wonderful day!