A Price Tag on Legacy?

I was talking to someone the other day about big-picture financial goals. This topic often produces some interesting ideas, but there are a few responses I hear over and over. This particular man uttered an all-to-common phrase, "Leave a legacy for my kids." And by legacy, he meant millions of dollars dumped into his children's laps. I know this for two reasons: 1) that's typically what this phrase means in modern America, and 2) he clarified and said it means leaving his kids millions of dollars.

This phrase is common, especially for Christians, for one big reason: it's frequently discussed, advocated for, and glorified by one of the nation's top financial personalities. I hear this phrase multiple times per week, and it usually goes hand-in-hand with similar concepts, such as creating generational wealth, eliminating the need for your kids to work, and giving your kids more than you had. I get a queasy feeling just typing that.....

In a recent podcast episode, Cole and I talked about the idea of leaving our children a bunch of money one day. I made a comment that created more buzz than I had anticipated. I said I didn't believe in leaving large sums of money to my kids. Instead, most of what we have will either be given away upon our death or put into a charitable trust where my kids will manage its longer-term distribution. There are two primary reasons for this perspective. First, it's not my money to begin with. If I believe all I have is God's, which I do, then I don't own it......my job is merely to manage it while I'm here. If that's true, what makes me think I should pass it down to my kids instead of blessing and serving others? Second, I think my kids deserve better than to have their drive and ambitions chopped off at the knees by a big pot of money. They deserve the opportunity to carve their own path, pursue work that matters, and use their unique gifts and talents to create an impact on this world. A big pot of unearned money can quickly zap this from them in a heartbeat. Yes, it's possible that a large sum of money could help in their endeavors. It's also true that I could successfully rob a nearby convenience store, but it's probably not a good idea to try. Behavioral science, statistics, and my own experience working with countless families tell me there's a higher probability for downside than upside.

Want to leave a legacy for your kids? That's awesome, me too!!! I just define legacy differently than a big pile of cash. For me, legacy is about character, faith, generosity, humility, impact, and service to others. Money factors zero into this. If my kids have millions of dollars but not the traits listed above, my legacy is garbage. If my kids have limited financial means but possess these traits, I succeeded in the mission. You can't put a price tag on legacy.

A Continuous Circle, and You’re Part of It!

My close friend, Gary Hoag, recently wrote an excellent piece for the Christian Leadership Alliance. Gary is a world-renowned speaker and teacher in the area of Christian generosity. I'm always excited to read Gary's work, including his blog that he's posted daily for nearly 14 years (yeah, 5,000+ consecutive days......wild!).

Gary has been a monumentally important figure in my life over the last eight years. Much of what you read and hear from me has Gary's fingerprints all over it. For this reason, I'm always stunned when Gary advocates for me or my work. In the article I referenced above, Gary recommended our Meaning Over Money podcast as one of his four next steps. It's wild that someone like Gary would lift up a person like me. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't I be singing his praises and telling everyone to check out his work? Of course I should! But he doesn't owe me that. There are plenty of people in Gary's life with more experience, expertise, and talent than me. Yet, he trusts the work we're doing over here. I never take that for granted!

That's the beauty of life. It always feels like a circle. Gary is always so gracious to pour into me and lift me up, but someone poured into him and lifted him up. And so, too, did someone for that person....and so on. It's one big circle, and we get to be part of it. We don't have to be, but we get to be. I often wonder how many lives have been impacted due to Gary's work and pouring into others. Has he done for a handful of other people what he's done for me? Dozens? Hundreds? And what have all those people done in turn to pour into others? Handfuls? Dozens? Hundreds? Gary is changing this world, one conversation, one relationship, and one generous act at a time.

Here's the point of today's post. The circle can stop with us. We can gratefully accept the gift, benefit from it, and simply sit on our hands. We're certainly better for it, but that's about it. Alternatively, we can embrace that same spirit Gary carries himself with and pass it on to others. There are many people in my life that I sincerely want to pour into. Some of this has been happening for years, others more recently, and some will happen for people I've yet to meet. And we all get to be part of it! How exciting is that!?!? Some days I think about this fact, and it overwhelms me. Such an opportunity.....and responsibility.

Don't let that opportunity slip away. Find people in your life to pour into and lift up. Be a difference-maker in their life, encourage them, and help them be better.....so they, in turn, can do the same for others. It's a continuous circle, and you're part of it!

Embrace the Training Wheels

I spent some time with a young man recently who is trying to gain the courage and confidence to make a big financial decision. He wants to invest, but the dollar amount feels heavy. It’s a huge responsibility, and he wants to get it right. Is he taking too much risk? Is he possibly putting himself in a bad spot? Is this a wise move? He’s saved up for a long time, so this is a big deal to him. It was $200. Yes, two hundred George Washingtons. This was a massive deal for him, but for you and me, it was yesterday’s trip to the grocery store.

I loved this about him. I loved how he desperately wanted to get it right. To him, in his season of life, in the context of where he’s at, $200 is a ton of money. I admire his desire to learn, grow, and live up to the responsibility. While it may have only been $200, this will surely set the tone for what’s to come in his journey. These are the training wheels of stewardship. If he learns to handle a little, he’ll eventually be prepared to handle more. Herein lies the problem with so many people in today’s culture. They never learned how to handle it when it was only $200, thus they are woefully unprepared to handle it when it’s many multiples of that.

I was thinking about my own journey recently as I was writing a check to contribute more equity to Northern Vessel. Within about four months of being open, we had outgrown our space. After a handful of owner meetings, we decided to renovate the space to make it more efficient, better align with the realities of our business model, and create more customer seating. A few things struck me as I was writing out the check: 1) we’re so blessed to be in a position where this is even a need, 2) Sarah and I are blessed to be in a position where we can financially do this, and 3) how intense this would have been for 19-year-old Travis who had very sweaty palms when attempting to make even a small stock market transaction.

The only reason I was able to do what I just did was because I had embraced the training wheels and slowly grew into it. That’s the opportunity I have, that’s the opportunity this young man has, and that’s the opportunity you have. Each day is an opportunity to get a little bit better, gain competence and confidence, and grow our capacity to take on more in the future. It sometimes feels like a slow journey, but you’ll be there before you know it! Embrace those training wheels!

If Not, What's the Point?

One of my clients was recently considering making a somewhat major purchase……in the +/- $25,000 range. This is no small sum of money, and they fully recognize that. The particular item they were considering isn’t greatly important to this conversation, and I want you to use your imagination so you can put yourself in your shoes with whatever type of item might be in your life.

On one hand, they recognize the value this item would bring to their life. Time spent with their kids, intentional time away from the house, and creating new memories. On the other hand, it’s $25,000 they would be disconnecting from their broader plan, and it would most certainly “hurt” them financially. The math says this is a bad decision, as math usually does. However, buying this item isn’t reckless and won’t materially impair them.

After discussing, here' was my opinion. Of course they should buy it!!! If not, what’s the point of all this? To me, this is the easiest yes of all time. They’ve been trying (successfully) to steward their resources well, live responsibly, explore generosity, and create memories with their kids. Mission and memories! This family is modeling what it looks like to view and handle money in a healthy way…..I hope it’s contagious with others in their circle.

Ultimately, they didn’t need me to tell them to do it. I think they knew deep down this was the right thing to do, and they are doing it! This is one of the things I love about this couple. It’s never about money…..because money is never about money. Meaning over money, always.

Do you have something like this in your life and have actually pulled the trigger? Or maybe you know what it is, but have hesitated to follow through? Would love to hear your stories! Please hit reply or drop a comment below. Have an awesome day!

Give Away All the Fruit Snacks

A while back, my 5-year-old son, Pax, came into the house and asked Sarah if he could get a package of fruit snacks for himself and also give one to his neighbor friend. Sarah immediately said yes, and that was that. A bit later, Pax comes tearing through the house, grabs another package of fruit snacks, and starts to run out the door. Sarah asked what he was doing, and he said he was getting one for another neighbor friend. Sarah, focusing primarily on the thought of how this will further erode our quickly dwindling grocery inventory (#growingboys), admonished Pax and said he shouldn’t be giving away more fruit snacks.

First, I need to clarify something: Sarah is a generous person with a loving heart. But in this situation, she viewed it as more of a grocery situation than a giving situation. When I got home and she told me this story, I felt terrible for Pax. All these years, we continually talk about giving, giving, and more giving. It’s one of the primary values of our family and we discuss it frequently. Then once he has an opportunity to put these ideas into practice, he gets in trouble for it. Ouch! After discussing this with Sarah, she agreed with my perspective and felt bad for how she handled herself.

I pulled Pax aside and said, “hey man, I heard you gave away two packages of fruit snacks to your friends!” He looked at me sheepishly, as if he’d done something wrong, and nodded his head up and down. I quickly explained to him how Mom didn’t mean it that way, and he indeed did a very good thing. I told him I’d be extremely proud of him if he decided to give away all the fruit snacks. We can never be too generous, and his decision to get a second package of fruit snacks was a sign of love (not neglegence). After a few minutes, his spirits were lifted. He confidently walked into the pantry, grabbed a handful of fruit snacks, and took them out to the other neighbor kids who had since joined the game.

Two lessons:

1) The words and actions shared with our kids make far more impact than we’d like to admit. It can be a humbling journey as a parent.

2) You can never give away too many fruit snacks!