Congrats on Not Getting the Job

One of my clients recently applied for a new job. It was an incredible job: higher status, more responsibilities, higher salary, a bigger bonus, better benefits......the whole nine yards. He didn't get it. He was in the final three, but lost out to someone else.

On the heels of this news, I sent him a text congratulating him on not getting the job. I'm so glad he didn't get it. It would have been a terrible job for him. Let me take a step back. He loves his current job. He wakes up every day excited for what he's about to do, loves his co-workers, has the flexibility for his family to live the life they live, believes in the mission, and makes a good living doing it. He's living his absolute best life, and his family has a great rhythm in how their life is structured.

So why did he apply for this new job, then? Frankly, he applied because that's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to move up, make more money, garner more status, and manufacture a higher standard of living. Deep down, he knew he was already in the right place, but this was such a good opportunity!!!

After he received my unexpected congratulatory text, he immediately called me to process it. I explained to him how this new job, while paying better, would have negatively impacted many areas of his life. Less balance, more travel, a shift to work he doesn't enjoy, the loss of his work community, and a lot less flexibility to do the things his family enjoys doing.

His not receiving this job may be one of the best things that ever happened to him. He has a beautiful life, and money almost came before meaning. In hindsight, he's glad it didn't. The extra money would have been nice, but at what price?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with more money, but I believe you deserve better. So much better! I think you deserve to wake up every day excited for what you're about to do. Not because it's fun (it's often not), but because it matters. If it comes at the expense of a few fewer dollars, so be it. You deserve better than to put a price tag on your life. Your life is worth so much more than an annual salary or a status tied to your name.

Have a fantastic day!

The Cost of Status

Do you ever ask yourself why you spend money on x thing? We often buy something because we want it, but why do we want it? It’s the reason behind the reason. It’s not atypical to have multiple reasons to buy something, needs and wants alike. Regardless, it’s important to recognize our true motives. When we do, we make better choices for better reasons. Let’s use a recent real-life example I encountered. Someone wanted to buy a truck. Here’s the breakdown:

• They NEED a different vehicle because their current one is on its last legs.

• They NEED a truck to facilitate the various hauling and transport needs in their life/work.

• They WANT a bigger truck so they can further expand their hauling capabilities.

• They WANT fancy bells and whistles…… because they like fancy bells and whistles.

All this is making sense so far, but there was one more component missing from the list. It was the elephant in the room, which needed to be called out. Despite all the reasons listed above, this missing factor was the biggest emotional driver of the bunch, as well as the one that had the largest impact on the price tag:

• They WANT people to know they are successful.

There’s another name for this: status. Whether it’s consciously or subconsciously done, most of us do certain things in pursuit of status. The brands we wear, the restaurants we dine at, the neighborhoods we live in, the places we travel, the schools we choose, the organizations we belong to……this list keeps going. This particular person cared a LOT about driving a new, top-end model because it was a signal to others that they are successful. This one nuance alone has the potential to drive the price up by $20,000-$30,000.

I’ve worked with many people who spend thousands of dollars per month in the pursuit of status. My job is not to judge them, but rather ask them a few questions:

• Is that what you really want?

• Is it worth it?

• Is there something you’d rather spend this money on?

When we name it head-on and people are real with themselves, most people relent and make different decisions. Some, however, are more than happy to spend on status. Not my personal cup of tea, as I believe bought status moves us away from genuine meaning and fulfillment. But at least they can call a spade a spade. Eyes wide open, properly understanding the why behind the why.

What about you? In what ways do you find yourself consciously or subconsciously buying status?