“I Couldn’t Say No”

Me: “What’s new in your world?”

Them: “I got a new job!”

Me: “I thought you loved your old job.”

Them: “I did, but I got a $20,000 raise with this new job.”

Me: “That’s cool. Do you like the new job?”

Them: “No, not at all. But it was a $20,000 increase. I couldn’t say no.”

This was the beginning of what became a 30-minute conversation about their new job. In short, the job sucked. After all, they left a job that meant a lot to them. They believed in the company’s mission, they had developed many strong relationships, and they were doing the exact work they wanted to do in their career. But they left! Dumbfounded, brought the conversation back around to this idea of leaving their meaningful job for something they knew would be a worse fit. I asked a simple, but dumb question, “How much is your happiness worth?” It was clear they, too, thought this was a dumb question. “There’s no price tag for my happiness…..it doesn’t seem like something I could put a price on.” Yet, they just knowingly sold their happiness for $20,000. $20,000!?!? It’s safe to say they disagreed with my assessment of the situation. The conversation eventually moved on to something far less controversial and emotionally-charged……politics.

About 6 months later, this same person asked me to lunch. I was excited to catch up, but I quickly found out they had a very specific agenda in mind. They were absolutely miserable. The job sucked, they were stressed, getting sick more often, and their marriage was struggling. Needless to say, this whole trade-happiness-for-$20,000-per-year experiment wasn’t working out so well. They knew they had to do something, but weren’t sure what. We talked about aspirations, options, and possible next steps.

Fast forward several months, and this person has moved on to a different job. A job that better suits their skills, passions, and lifestyle. It pays a decent amount less, but they report a ton of happiness and fulfillment. There’s far less stress at home, they look forward to going to work each morning, and they have enough money to live a respectable life. In my book, they are winners. It’s a counter-cultural way to live, but it’s so, so worth it. Meaning over money…..always meaning over money.

"But What Certifications!?!?"

I’ve shared this story with a handful of people, each of which who voiced their displeasure for me not blogging about it yet. So, here goes! A while back I met a couple who was potentially interested in pursuing a coaching relationship with me. When I asked them how they found me, they explained how multiple people in their lives have shared how their work with me has been transformational in their life. I’m always grateful for these stories, though I always feel like I get too much credit.

Needless to say, this couple came in hot and were excited about what a potential coaching relationship could do for them. The conversation was going great. They shared about their lives and aspirations, and I shared about my background and what coaching would/could look like. Then, it took an unexpected turn.

“What are your coaching credentials or certifications?”

“I don’t have any.”

“You have to have something! Did you go to school for this?”

“No”

“How do you know what you’re doing?”

“I’m not saying I do. Those other people said I do.”

“I’m not sure we can hire someone without any actual credentials”

“That’s totally ok. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t fully believe in. You have to be 100% comfortable and confident going into this, otherwise, it won’t work.”

Other than this being somewhat humorous, why am I sharing this? I think we often undervalue ourselves. We rely on a piece of paper, a title, or some letters behind our names to determine the value we offer the world. I’m not saying these things don’t matter. Rather, I’m saying what you already have to offer the world DOES matter. You don’t need someone else’s permission to make an impact. Not everyone will want what we have to offer, but lucky for us, we have neither the need nor the time to work with everyone. Our job is simply to serve those who wish to be served.

The world is full of people who are gifted at something. You’re probably one of them. There are countless skill sets that can be used to serve people in unique ways. You probably have one. There are millions of people who have unmet needs, just waiting to get a hand-up. You probably know some.

We don’t need permission. We need action.

**Side note: This couple DID decide to hire me and we’ve laughed (multiple times) about this story. They are killing it, by the way!!!

Things Old and Things New

Two big events popped up in my world this week.

A while back, I was approached by a mid-sized company to do some contract work for them to help reimagine and recreate one of their key operational tools. I really enjoyed the project. In a lot of ways, it felt like a throwback to some of the work I did in my former career (which I left nearly 4 years ago). I’m using skills I previously acquired, exercising experience I gained from past work, and injecting ideas/principles I’ve been developing for the last decade. The work has also stretched me and forced me to learn new things in order to execute. To be honest, I really enjoyed it. On the heels of a very successful rollout of the new tool this week, the company asked if I’d be willing to do more work with them. When I asked how much of my bandwidth they were looking to acquire, they responded, “up to 60 hours per week.” It gave me a good chuckle. While that certainly can’t happen, we’re working on the details and I’m excited to spend some more time with them.

Yesterday was also a weird day. I had a few meetings that fell completely outside of my expertise. Through a business venture I’m involved in, I found myself in the middle of a deep dive into an unfamiliar industry, meeting with seasoned experts in a field I honestly didn’t even know existed. It was a humbling experience, to say the least. My main role was to bring my area of expertise to the table and know what questions to ask along the way. I was very much out of my element, but I was able to add value by being there (despite being the dumbest person in the room). These meetings have the potential to open up some really fun doors and positively impact a lot of people (to be discussed in a future post). Though all this is exciting, it feels intimidating and overwhelming.

A common thread persists through these two unrelated stories. Everything we’ve been through, learned, and done prepares us for the next thing. Our experience, education, influence, relationships, resources, and skills. None of these things go to waste. Sure, we may leave a job or a career to do something different. But these things don’t die when we shift. Rather, we’re able to put them to a different use. I also recognize the importance of doing new things. It would be easy to stay in a very narrow lane, keep it simple, and do only what I’m comfortable with. However, I find the most growth, excitement, and fulfillment when I push myself outside my comfort zone and do something scary. I never want to in the moment, but I’m always glad I did. It’s how we move forward and it’s how we make a difference.

Appreciate the old and use it for the new.

Nothing is Thrown Away

Nearly four years ago, I stepped away from my 15-year career in commercial real estate. It was an awesome career, and to be honest, I miss it some days. Everyone assumes I walked away from it disillusioned and angry, but I didn’t. There is probably an alternate reality where I happily spend another 10-15 years in that role.

After my resignation was announced, I received a LOT of feedback from my colleagues. Mostly good, a few bad, and a lot of curiosity about my thought process and next steps. A few people made a comment that stuck with me for months, “you’re throwing away your career.” Ouch!

At the time, even I wondered if I was throwing something away. After all, I built up skills, experience, influence, and relationships over more than a decade. But then, something happened. Sarah and I were on a long flight home from a trip to Asia. I shared with her my dream of writing, but also confessed I hadn’t written for maybe 17 years. It was going to be a train wreck of a process, but I would give it the ol’ college try. I spent a large portion of that 16-hour flight writing on my laptop. To my shock, the words flowed from the tips of my fingers and onto the screen. What the heck!?!? How could I feel this comfortable writing if I hadn’t written in nearly two decades? That’s when it hit me! In my career, a big chunk of my job was to communicate with my overseas clients…..over e-mail. You know, writing…..

Nothing is wasted. Not my skills, experience, influence, or relationships. I didn’t throw any of it away. It all matters. I may have left that previous career, but all those other things came with me. I get to keep those forever. I get to use all the things I acquired and apply them to the next chapter in my journey. I laugh sometimes when pieces of my old career intersect with my new career. Once I started to be aware of it, I noticed it happening daily. So much of what I did and learned in my previous career helps me each and every day. I’m grateful for that.

Someone needs to hear this today. If you make a big shift in your life, you aren’t throwing something away. You’re merely taking it with you and applying it to the next thing that matters. Your previous impact will be the springboard to your upcoming impact. You got this!