Ignorance is Bliss, Until It's a Nightmare

Whenever I start working with a new client, there’s a moment early on when they have more money stress and tension than they did before we started working together. On the surface, it seems like the coaching is counter-productive. After all, the whole point of this coaching concept is to make things better…..not worse. There’s a universal truth in all this. Ignorance is bliss. Many people have very little day-to-day tension and stress when it comes to money. It’s not because their finances are in a good place, but rather because, “out of sight, out of mind,” as the saying goes.

Digging into our finances and facing reality on reality’s terms can dredge up a lot of junk. It’s like looking into one of those ultra-magnifying mirrors you see in some hotel bathrooms. It’s scary to see yourself that close. ALL the blemishes become apparent. Money is much the same way. When we look close enough, we won’t always like what we see.

This idea hit home recently when I had two contrasting conversations. The first conversation was with a friend who is somewhat critical of my work. by the way, I love when people I care about can engage me in conversations like this. It shows trust in each other, and I always learn something from them. His main point was he and his wife spend almost zero time talking about money in their marriage. They “just live life,” as he put it. He went on to explain they don’t really worry about what they spend, they don’t worry about saving, and they don’t worry about the future. Life is good, live in the moment, and it will all work out in the end. In some ways, I’m jealous of their approach to life. I wish I could be more like that at times. On the other hand, based on what he shared with me, I have a feeling where some of this will go a few decades down the road……and it’s not good.

In a subsequent conversation, I talked to a couple who was a few decades older than the guy I just mentioned. They explained how they used to handle finances, or rather how they didn’t handle them. The way they portrayed their younger selves sounded a lot like the man above. Fast forward a few decades, and they are freaking out. They lived a financially stress-free life, but now stress is barreling down on them. They are starting to realize social security isn’t nearly enough to support them, they didn’t adequately save on their own, and the clock is ticking. The reality is they will HAVE to work well into their 70s (or beyond). I don’t personally believe in traditional retirement and I hope to be working into my 80s, but it breaks my heart to see a couple work so hard for many decades, only to find themselves in a position with very limited options.

They gave me permission to anonymously share this story with you because, as they put it, they “wouldn’t wish this upon their worst enemy.” Harsh words. I feel for them, I truly do. So if I can give you any advice on this topic, it would be this: be willing to endure some financial stress and tension today (getting it right), because it’s so much better than what’s coming down the road. This couple deserves better, and so do you!