The Jobs That Shape You

During a recent conversation with a youth group student, the topic of jobs came up. And not just any jobs, but the crappiest of the crappy jobs. This student had recently experienced a string of terrible work. He was frustrated and feeling down about the entire idea of work.

I expressed my dual sympathies and congratulations on his crappy jobs. Sympathy because crappy can be crappy....and that's no fun. But I congratulated him because these are the jobs that will shape him. These experiences will put him to the test, show him how to persevere, shine a light on what he doesn't want to do, and teach him how to serve people well (even when it doesn't feel great to do so). Then, I shared a few of my crappy high school jobs:

My first ever job was getting up at 4AM every single morning during summer break so I could rake the sand traps at our local golf course. The actual work was ok, but getting up every day at 4AM as a 15-year-old trying to enjoy my summer was brutal. But that job taught me so much.

Then there was my job at the cheese factory when I was 16/17. No, not Cheesecake Factory. A literal cheese factory. Again, I would get up at 4AM every Sunday during the school year to go package cheese. There's nothing like being half awake, at 5AM on a weekend morning, standing in a 45-degree room for seven hours. But that job taught me so much.

Ah, then there's the U.S. Census Bureau. Somehow, at age 18, I stumbled upon an opportunity to work for the government in its effort to collect data for the 2000 census. My job was to knock on the front doors of families who hadn't yet submitted their surveys and convince them to give me their information. What I learned on my first day was this: there was a reason some people hadn't filled out their survey.....they really didn't want to give the government any information. So when some kid comes knocking and asking for personal details, emotions run high. Two men pulled guns on me that first week (one of which was the father of my brother's classmate). I even approached a house where dozens of animal carcasses were rotting in a screened-in porch. Yeah, that entire experience was absolutely miserable. But that job taught me so much.

Even if I could, I'd never undo any of these crappy experiences. They helped shape me into the person I would later become. Without them, I would be missing many key attributes that have led to my career and leadership success. I cherish the value of those jobs.

So to my young friend coming off a string of terrible jobs, congrats! You're exactly where you need to be. Keep moving forward. Those experiences will shape you.

Even the Best Struggle

I received a phone call from a highly successful business owner earlier last week. This is someone who founded and runs a business many people would know. By all accounts, this company is wildly successful and holds a strong position in the culture. I know this person through a mutual friend, and we periodically have meandering conversations about business, behavioral science, and ridiculous ideas.

On this particular call, we went down the road of the day-to-day struggles of running a business. I'll remind you again this person runs a highly successful business. During the chat, he blurted out, "Every day seems hard. I often wonder if I'm cut out for this." What?!?! This is a highly respected business leader. If he isn't cut out for this, then I'm screwed!

That was yet another reminder of such a wise lesson: this isn't supposed to be easy! If I ever get to the point where it feels easy, it means one of a few different things: 1) I'm lying to myself, 2) I'm not pushing myself enough, or 3) I'm leaving impact on the table. It reminds me of a conversation I once had with an old boss. He, too, was highly successful in his career. I asked him when he finally got comfortable in his role. His answer disappointed and frustrated me. "Never." "Never?". "Every time I came close to being comfortable, it was time for me to take on new responsibilities and learn new things. So I never felt comfortable."

I'll always remember that conversation. Sometimes, in my own self-doubt, I'll look around the room of highly successful people and remember most of them are likely feeling some version of this as well. It helps to humanize people and also give ourself some grace along the way. This is an experience I get to share nearly daily with coaching clients. Many of them have a notable level of accomplishment and achievement in their respective fields, yet I get to see what's behind the curtain. Behind the curtain, they are just like you and me: self-doubting, mistake-making, outcome-fearing humans.

Even the best struggle. If they aren't perfect, maybe it's ok if you aren't, either. Let's face the day head-on and with confidence. When the challenge presents itself, do the best you can, learn, push yourself, and be better next time. Oh yeah, and along the way, don't be afraid to show your humanity to those around you. Vulnerability doesn't make you weak; it makes you real.

You Might Be That Somebody

Last night was the opening session of the Celebrate Generosity Conference, hosted by Generous Giving. I’m blessed to attend this event in Scottsdale, Arizona with a few friends / board colleagues. Even just in the opening session, so much wisdom and inspiration was shared. My head was spinning on the car ride back to the hotel. I pondered which nugget would be the basis of today’s post, which was a difficult decision after all I had experienced.

But the answer was pretty clear. One of the speakers (a married couple) shared about the brokenness of their own lives, how it almost crushed them, the redemption and grace they received, and the ministry that came next. In the conversation about ministry, they shared about how run down and dilapidated their neighborhood had become. Drugs, gangs, poverty, and economic headwinds had done a number on this community, and the state of the residential neighborhoods showcased it.

They thought to themselves how someone needs to do something about it. Then, as the husband so bluntly put it, “If somebody needs to do something, you might be that somebody.” Maybe it was…..no, it definitely was. Fast forward many years, they’ve revitalized hundreds of homes in multiple cities in their community.

It makes me reflect on my own life. Yeah, I’m doing a lot of good things. But how many times do I say to myself, “Somebody needs to do something,” then quickly go back to my life? What if I’m that somebody? What if I’m supposed to step in and make something happen? I can think of times when I actually did act on that gut feeling, but I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times I simply didn’t act. I was waiting for somebody, when perhaps I was that somebody all along.

What about you? Are you that somebody? Is there something in front of you that needs a champion, a leader, a fire igniter, a doer? You might be that somebody.

"But I Care!!!!"

I’m on the board of directors for multiple organizations, or as a few of my mentors call it, “too many.” For me, there’s something special about non-profit organizations. It brings together a collection of people with different skills and different experiences, each willing to donate a ton of time with absolutely zero to gain in return. There’s something pure about it, but at the same time, it’s oftentimes excruciatingly chaotic.

In a recent meeting, we were in a heated discussion about something. I don’t even remember what it was about, but the general tone of the conversation was about how it didn’t really matter so we should just move on. In the midst of the back-and-forth, my friend Alexa shouted out, “But I care!!!” Truer words have never been spoken. Alexa does indeed care…..a lot! She’s one of those people who pours herself into the various things she works on. She cares deeply, and none of her care involves herself. She’s truly a selfless servant who simply believes in the mission.

I don’t always agree with Alexa’s perspectives, but man do I respect her. I could completely disagree with something she says, but her conviction and passion alone are sometimes enough to sway me. Over the years, I’ve found that organizations with Alexas thrive, while organizations without Alexas oftentimes just muddle along. This world needs more Alexas. Passion, focus, selflessness, and generosity.

There are no prerequisites to be an Alexa. It’s not a certain education, experience level, set of relationships, or skill set. All that’s needed is a deep desire for better and a strong belief in the mission. If someone has that, it’s enough to drive change.

Find yourself an Alexa, or better yet, be an Alexa.

When Nothing Is Beneath Us

Yesterday, I spent about 10 hours at a client’s office working on a big project they contracted me to do. It’s fascinating work and it allows me to use a lot of the skills I developed during my prior career. The work challenges me, pushes me to get creative, and puts me in positions where I need to fight through roadblocks and frustrations. Overall, it’s been tremendously rewarding and I’ve learned a ton.

All that said, there was a two-hour stretch where the work was anything but satisfying. It was borderline the most monotonous work imaginable. In some regards, I wouldn’t wish that work on my worst enemy. It was mentally taxing, repetitive, and quite tedious. One little mistake would have massive ramifications, while at the same time, it felt like watching paint dry. All the while, however, all I could think about is something my dad taught me when I was a teenager. No work is beneath us. It doesn’t matter how “important” we become or how many layers get added between us and the bottom, nothing is beneath us.

Now of course many people would disagree with this approach……and it shows. When work is beneath us and we look down on it (and possibly those doing it), we create or perpetuate a toxic culture. The opposite is true, as well. When leaders are actively engaging in work that’s theoretically beneath them, it changes the dynamic of a team and an organization. It takes us from “Do as I say, not what I do” to “Follow my example.” I was blessed to have several co-workers and leaders in my past career who also modeled this the right way. The more I think about it, the more grateful I am for them.

So yeah, those two hours royally sucked! But there was something special about it, too. Doing the hard work, grinding through something difficult, knowing I’m doing the right thing for the right reasons. I hope I don’t have to spend too much time doing tasks like that, but I’ll do whatever is needed to achieve the goal. It’s a constant reminder that nothing is truly beneath us.

Words Are Free

I often refer to a Gallup statistic that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. This number is staggering, but always consistent with what I experience out in the world when I’m meeting with families. In fact, it feels rare when someone actually says, “yeah, I like my job.”

There are many reasons for not liking your job. The work, the organization, the mission, the hours, the co-workers, the pay……so many different factors. However, there’s one factor that overwhelmingly drives people’s relationship with their work. Their boss. I hesitate to call them leaders, because most of them they aren’t. They are just that, bosses. if you give someone the perfect work, organization, mission, hours, co-workers, and pay, they will still dislike or hate their job if their boss sucks.

Multiple times in just the last week, people have shared stories about how their boss didn’t say something. When the boss didn’t give them credit for a recent win. When the boss didn’t advocate for them. When the boss didn’t recognize their hard work and contribution. When the boss didn’t communicate something important that should have been talked about. In each of these cases, a few simple words would have made a world a difference. It’s a shame, too, as words are free. It doesn’t cost us anything to open our mouth and speak on behalf and in benefit of others.

Raising someone else up doesn’t lower us. But yet, so many of us aren’t using our words to lift others up. And in the process, we are putting up walls, pushing people away, and forcing them to look elsewhere for what they are seeking. Let’s use today as an opportunity to use our free words to make an impact. At home, at work, in public, and wherever else you find yourself.