The Many Shapes and Sizes of Sacrifice

On the heels of yesterday’s post, a handful of people reached out asking about the idea of sacrifice. The joy piece is simple and self-explanatory. The sacrifice piece, however, can be a bit trickier. Sacrifice looks different for everyone. For my youth group students, giving $20 may be a sacrifice. To a few of my clients, though, a $10,000 gift wouldn’t be a sacrifice at all.

Looking at it from a broader level, sacrifice comes in many forms. Let’s go back to the person who could give $10,000 and it not be sacrificial. That same person could volunteer to serve at the very same organization for a day and it would be a huge sacrifice.

I stumbled into an interesting situation yesterday. I was in a text exchange with my friend, Bailey, who is coming back to see her family this weekend. Somewhere in there, I thought it would be a fun idea to bring her family a 64-ounce bottle of Northern Vessel cold brew latte to enjoy at their Easter brunch. Then, my brain went one step further. What if I bought bottles for a whole bunch of families to enjoy at their Easter celebrations? Fast forward a few hours and my day went from getting a lot of pressing work tasks done to becoming a Northern Vessel DoorDash Santa Claus. It was a really fun day and I thoroughly enjoyed blessing these families. Pure joy in my book!

It was only a few hundred dollars, which came from our giving fund. We plan for things like this, so that piece in and of itself wasn't necessarily sacrificial. The sacrifice was the fact I gave up much of my workday to make it happen. There was a very real cost to this, as I was up until about 2AM this morning doing the work items I was supposed to be doing when I was delivering bottles. No complaints from me…..it was so worth it! The sacrifice was what made it that much sweeter.

So here’s my big takeaway today: sacrifice is always contextual to the giver. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. Sometimes it takes creativity and out-of-the-box thinking to create sacrificial giving opportunities. You won’t always get it right, but generosity is always a fun thing to fail forward in. Happy giving!

Curating the Life of Your Dreams

“I thought you were successful.” These were the interesting words spoken by a friend after driving by my house and seeing where we live. Wow…..and ouch! It never ceases to amaze me what people say to me. Perhaps it’s the consequence of living more of a public life and sharing a fair amount of myself through our content? In any event, wow…..and ouch!

As the conversation progressed, this person explained how, in their opinion, a person’s house is a measure of success. If you’re successful, your house reflects that. If you’re not, it too reflects that. In his opinion, my house reflects the fact I’m not successful. His perspective isn’t rare. In fact, this is a very common perception in our culture. In a similar conversation, one of my other friends referred to someone else I know and pointed out the obvious fact this other person is “really f’ing rich.” Why? Because they have a tremendously expensive house. This “really f’ing rich” couple happens to be a client of mine, and I can testify they aren’t rich. Far from it. They look like it, though.

At some point in our journey, we all have a choice to separate our actions from other people’s perceptions. I refer to it as curating the life of our dreams. When we can completely disregard the expectations and opinions of others and lean 100% into our own family’s values, everything changes. Truth is, I don’t love our house. It’s not the house of our dreams….far from it. But moving here allowed us to unlock the life of our dreams. We’ve been able to curate a life that truly aligns with our values:

• Renting this house has allowed us a ton of financial flexibility, providing the opportunity to lean into other parts of our budget.

• We’re able to push hard into generosity.

• We get to travel anywhere in the world we want.

• We were able to invest in Northern Vessel Coffee Company, which has been such a blessing in our life and my career.

• We’ve created a walkable life given we’re just steps away from public parks, breweries, restaurants, and shopping.

• We’re one block away from one of the best biking trails in the state, giving us immediate access to wonderful outdoor activities.

• We’re a 1-minute drive to the kids’ school, a 1-minute drive to the co-work office I host client meetings, a 2-minute drive to our podcast studio, a 2-minute drive to the grocery store, and a 6-minute drive to church.

This is amazing! I couldn’t love it more. To be honest, though, I do think about what other people think. I get self-conscious at times. I question our sanity. Every time that happens, however, I remind myself how we’ve essentially curated our dream life. We’ve had to make sacrifices, but those sacrifices pale in comparison to what we’ve gained. We’ve gained our dream life. The irony is that, to some, it’s a sign that we’re unsuccessful. To me, however, it’s a sign we’ve truly lived into our values. I call that the definition of success.

I encourage you to spend some time thinking about your dream life. What choices/decisions would you need to make to curate a better life that aligns with your values? This can be a scary question to confront, but it’s worth it.

Busyness and Happiness: Round 2

One of my favorite parts about writing this daily blog is the slew of messages I wake up to each morning from readers. Some thank me for the content, others disagree with my points, and many provide their own perspective. A few days ago, I wrote about the connection between busyness and happiness. My new friend, Randy, shared some thoughts about the topic via e-mail. While technology can be used to isolate people and do harm, it also has the power to bring people together like at no other time in history. I met Randy through this blog and I’ve learned so much from him through our many e-mail interactions. Randy, I’m grateful for you!

Randy’s first point to me: If we fill our lives with things that provide meaning, it creates joy and energizes us rather than deplete us. I’ve thought a lot about this since his e-mail hit my inbox. This is indeed true in my life. Even when I’m on the busier side of the spectrum, if the busyness comes from intentionally meaningful things, it does energize me and provides so much joy. It’s those days/weeks when my schedule is filled with less-than-meaningful things where I feel burned out.

Randy’s second point: if we want something done, ask a busy person, as they know where their free time is. Randy recognizes this one can be a double-edged sword, but it’s so true at its heart. Busy people tend to be the ones who get things done. On one hand, we don’t want to put a new responsibility on someone’s already-busy shoulders. On the other hand, it’s not our job to be their gatekeeper. The opportunity at hand may be just what they are looking for. It’s not our job to pre-judge it or make the decision for them. How many potentially world-changing things don’t exist today because someone pre-judged the other person’s decision and robbed them of an opportunity to say “yes”? I’ve experienced both sides of this. I’ve had people make my decision for me by withholding an opportunity that could have been powerful. I’ve also had people present something to me with, "I know you’re busy, but……”, then it led to something that positively changed my life forever.

Like most things in life, work, and money, this stuff isn’t black and white. If it were, it would be boring! Instead, we’re left with a world of possibilities and a lifetime to figure it out. While we do, it’s a pleasure to have people like Randy to journey with. Have a wonderful day, everyone!