"I Want to Be a ____"

About once a month, one of my kids will update his proclamation of what he wants to be when he grows up. Recent examples include a firefighter, basketball player, mowin' man, podcaster, and "in Twenty One Pilots."

Sometimes their ideas are practical, and sometimes they are absurd. However, I have one guiding rule as I try to parent these little men: don't kill their dreams. So often, I see parents criticizing, downplaying, demeaning, and even mocking their children's dreams. I've witnessed many of my youth group students have an amazing aspiration, only for it to be zapped away by their well-intentioned parents.

Sure, sometimes these dreams and ideas may be far-fetched. But it's not our job as parents to squeeze the life out of their dreams. Rather, it's our job to support, encourage, teach, and walk alongside them. They will eventually find their right path.....if we don't emotionally and mentally beat it out of them.

I get how this happens. We want our kids to succeed. We want them to be in a position where they can take care of themselves. We don't want to see them suffer. In the process, though, we're doing more harm than good. In an attempt to protect them from failing, we're preventing them from winning. We're trying to ensure they have money, while simultaneously robbing them of meaning. We're trying to steer them onto the "normal" path, when maybe their path needs to be anything but normal. I know many young men who were forced into college by their loving parents, only to hate it, get depressed, then drop out. They beat themselves up and feel as though they are just giant losers. Then, they will usually find the path that truly suits them. Once they do, their creativity, work ethic, and drive comes alive. It's like a light switch.

Who knows, maybe I'll read this post years down the road and consider my past self wrong......but I doubt it. I suspect my kids will do their fair share of failing as the years roll by. It will hurt them, but it will also hurt me to watch. However, that's where the beauty lies. From failure comes pain. From pain comes growth. From growth comes impact. From impact comes meaning.

I'll be there to walk alongside them, encourage them, and support them when they need me. I hope they never let go of their crazy dreams. I hope their dreams grow with them. I hope their dreams are so big that others will laugh and shake their head. Whatever those dreams are, I hope they are uniquely their dreams.....not mine. I hope they stay true to themselves and aggressively pursue whatever path that entails.

Parents of adults, what are your thoughts? Any wisdom to share? Would love to hear about your wins and losses in this department.

Hopping Into the Delorean

Nearly every time I start working with a new client, they make the statement, “I wish someone would have shown this to me when I was younger.” This comes out of the mouths of people in their 50s, 40s, 30s, and even late 20s. Almost without fail, people have this moment when they realize how much better their financial life or career would be had they implemented some of these ideas earlier in life. My moment came when I was 28 years old. I was still pretty young, but I had already made multiple life-altering financial mistakes. If only I could get a do-over!

Unfortunately, none of us can hop into our Delorean, accelerate to 88 MPH, and tell our younger selves the secrets of a better way. On the other hand, we actually do! We all have young people in our lives who we love. I think about my youth group kids, nieces, friends’ children, and other friends who are (much) younger than me. “I wish someone would have shown this to me when I was younger.” We may not be younger, but these other people are! Each of us has an opportunity to help shift the life trajectory of the young people in our lives. Even just one little conversation could be transformational for their journey. Words are free and words are powerful.

I’ll leave you with one story. Several years ago, I was paddling a canoe in the Minnesotan wilderness with a young man I had just met the day before. We used that opportunity to get to know one another. We talked about sports, family, passions, dreams, and probably a whole lot more. I really enjoyed that time with him, but I don’t have any significant memories of that particular conversation.

About 12-18 months later, out of the blue, I received a thank you card in the mail. It was from that same young man! in it, he explained how that conversation in the canoe changed his life. I shared ideas, encouragement, and advice that would go on to fundamentally shift the way he perceived his money and career. The rest is history, as they say. To me, it was a casual conversation. To him, it was so much more. I love that guy and I’m so proud of him! He’s now like a little brother to me and one of the great blessings of my life is to watch him thrive. Words are powerful and words are free.

Hop into the Delorean and bless those young people in your life! It will change their lives…..and possibly yours as well!