It's (Not) Just an Exercise

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. No, not because it’s NBA playoff time (though that helps!). It’s the final session of my high school money class. During our time together, we’re going to do one of my favorite exercises, which is meant to help them understand what young adult life looks like. Until now, they have very little income, very few bills, and very little need to be fully intentional with their finances. That will surely change within the next handful of years. In the exercise, I give them a theoretical young adult monthly income, a handful of known monthly expenses, and ask them to create a full monthly budget for the life they want to live. The energy is always high, they complete the exercise with optimism, and it ends up being a referendum on their values/interests.

Then, it gets fun (for me, at least). After completing this budget, I ask them to draw pieces of paper from a hat. Each piece of paper has a dollar figure on it, representing the monthly debt payments they’ve put into their life through the choices they’ve made. Student loans, car loans, and credit cards. I explain to them that many decisions will be made between now and when they start this theoretical budget. For every decision they make, there’s a consequence (positive or negative), and these consequences will impact our life (financial and otherwise) for years to come.

The next step of the exercise is for them to do the same budget process as before, but this time factor in the monthly debt payment they pulled out of the hat. This is where the mood changes. I can see the stress on their faces build as they try to make the numbers work with this new reality of debt. Many of their wants/hobbies get removed, their giving shrinks, and they must find ways to get creative with housing and other basic needs. Needless to say, the tone shifts from optimistic to frustrated and overwhelmed.

While this is an innocent exercise for them, it’s the reality for millions of adults. Many of us have made decisions that resulted in negative consequences for years/decades to come. Myself included! While we can’t go back and magically undo any of them, each day presents an opportunity to make different decisions for our future selves. More importantly, we all have younger people in our lives who still have a chance to avoid many of the painful outcomes we’ve experienced. Let’s encourage and equip them! They deserve it.

Words Are Free

I often refer to a Gallup statistic that 70% of Americans dislike or hate their job. This number is staggering, but always consistent with what I experience out in the world when I’m meeting with families. In fact, it feels rare when someone actually says, “yeah, I like my job.”

There are many reasons for not liking your job. The work, the organization, the mission, the hours, the co-workers, the pay……so many different factors. However, there’s one factor that overwhelmingly drives people’s relationship with their work. Their boss. I hesitate to call them leaders, because most of them they aren’t. They are just that, bosses. if you give someone the perfect work, organization, mission, hours, co-workers, and pay, they will still dislike or hate their job if their boss sucks.

Multiple times in just the last week, people have shared stories about how their boss didn’t say something. When the boss didn’t give them credit for a recent win. When the boss didn’t advocate for them. When the boss didn’t recognize their hard work and contribution. When the boss didn’t communicate something important that should have been talked about. In each of these cases, a few simple words would have made a world a difference. It’s a shame, too, as words are free. It doesn’t cost us anything to open our mouth and speak on behalf and in benefit of others.

Raising someone else up doesn’t lower us. But yet, so many of us aren’t using our words to lift others up. And in the process, we are putting up walls, pushing people away, and forcing them to look elsewhere for what they are seeking. Let’s use today as an opportunity to use our free words to make an impact. At home, at work, in public, and wherever else you find yourself.

Wanna Be Like Mike

When I was a kid, I remember watching and re-watching an epic Gatorade commercial featuring Michael Jordan. Here’, I’ll jog your memory:

Everyone wanted to be like Mike, and so did I! After all, he IS the GOAT! Eventually, though, I realized I probably wouldn’t be all that much like Mike. My growth spurt stopped at 5’9”, I entered my 40s, and my jumper is a tad (ok, a ton) rusty. I suspect my NBA dreams died before they had a chance to flourish. I’ll take that one up with my therapist.

I have so many fond memories of that Mike, but today I’m talking about a different Mike. This Mike is a high school teacher with a passion for young people. He spends his livelihood equipping teens to be good stewards with their money and careers. He’s a connector, a leader, and an encourager. The last part is where I want to focus today. Mike is a masterful encourager. I’ve seen it with his students and I’ve experienced it first-hand. This guy went from stranger, to acquaintance, to friend, to brother in a matter of about six months. Every time I see him, he’s exploding with energy, has an insightful idea for me to consider, and somehow lifts me up. Even a 30-second interaction with him makes my day better.

When I’m feeling fatigued, doubtful, or defeated, Mike seems to pop out of nowhere with the best encouragement. He often seems like my biggest cheerleader, but I suspect others would say the very same thing about him. That’s why I wanna be like Mike. He has a gift, and he uses it to make this world a better place. In some ways, I feel like I do some of these things, too……but someday I hope to do them as well as Mike does. That’s the impact people like Mike can have. Their mere presence in other people’s lives has the power to multiply that very spirit of love and generosity. What a gift!

When I used to wanna be like Mike, it meant hitting a soul-crushing buzzer-beater over Craig Ehlo’s dome. Today, when I wanna be like Mike, it means I want to make an impact on those around me, creating a multiplying and lasting difference in this world.

Suffering in Silence

It’s always heartbreaking to hear the constant news of suicides in our country. It’s tragic and far too common these days. This topic came into full view this week with the tragic suicide of a celebrity especially known for his joy and positivity. How can someone so popular, beloved, positive, and joyful take their own life? Unfortunately, so many people suffer in silence. What we see on the surface isn’t necessarily what’s underneath.

I used to have a road rage problem. Just ask my friend Brook from our Memphis days…..yikes! When people would react obscenely or aggressively toward me, I would freak out. I’m lucky I didn’t get myself killed. Then one day, I heard someone say something that forever changed my perspective (and how I try to handle myself). When we cross paths with people throughout the course of life, we don’t know what they are dealing with at that moment. Today may be the worst day of their life. They may have just received heartbreaking news, experienced a broken relationship, lost their job, or a myriad of other circumstances.

I often get asked how I navigate my client relationships with empathy and patience. I think it’s primarily because I know people are dealing with lots of life. But in our coaching, that life (good, bad, and ugly) comes to the forefront. So while everyone else wonders why x person would make y decision, I have a front-row seat to what’s really going on behind the curtain. It’s a privilege and an honor, and one I don’t take lightly.

When you’re out living life, always remember that so many around you are suffering in silence. Just being aware of this fact allows us the opportunity to make a positive impact on their lives. Or conversely, not make a negative impact on it.

I know today’s message isn’t as cheery as most days, but maybe that’s the trigger we each need today to be a force of encouragement and light to someone silently living in the dark.