"I'll Get the Next One"

We Americans have a problem. It’s an epidemic of the non-medical sorts. On the whole, we struggle to accept generosity from one another. Many people are quick to show generosity to others (which is awesome!), but when it comes to being on the receiving end of generosity, we avoid it like the plague. We tend to defer, deflect, and re-direct. Guilt and pride are usually at the center of our generosity denials, but there can be many reasons for it.

The other day, I was out to lunch with a friend. We had a great time. We caught up on life, work, family, and of course, NBA playoffs. When it was time to pay the bill, he quickly jumped in with, “I got you today, Travis!” Awesome stuff. I’m always grateful when someone shows me generosity, and I have a personal rule that I will never say “no” when someone shows me generosity. I quickly responded, “Thanks so much, man.”

Then, however, I instinctively and foolishly added one more sentence. “I’ll get it next time.” Do you see what I did there? Without even thinking about it, I accidentally turned his gift into a transaction. Tit for tat, if you will. Considering I repeatedly beat on this drum of accepting generosity from others, it shocked me when I realized what I just said. I felt bad, honestly. Then, as I’m feeling like a dummy for having just said that, my friend responds, “No you won’t. This is a gift. Accept the gift. I listen to the podcast. You have to accept the gift.” Right on, my man! Well played!

Generosity always wins, but generosity can’t take hold if we defer, deflect, or re-direct. I almost robbed him of his generosity, and what a shame if that happened. I’m grateful for my friend calling me out. I’ll try to do better next time, and I hope you do, too.