Curating the Life of Your Dreams

“I thought you were successful.” These were the interesting words spoken by a friend after driving by my house and seeing where we live. Wow…..and ouch! It never ceases to amaze me what people say to me. Perhaps it’s the consequence of living more of a public life and sharing a fair amount of myself through our content? In any event, wow…..and ouch!

As the conversation progressed, this person explained how, in their opinion, a person’s house is a measure of success. If you’re successful, your house reflects that. If you’re not, it too reflects that. In his opinion, my house reflects the fact I’m not successful. His perspective isn’t rare. In fact, this is a very common perception in our culture. In a similar conversation, one of my other friends referred to someone else I know and pointed out the obvious fact this other person is “really f’ing rich.” Why? Because they have a tremendously expensive house. This “really f’ing rich” couple happens to be a client of mine, and I can testify they aren’t rich. Far from it. They look like it, though.

At some point in our journey, we all have a choice to separate our actions from other people’s perceptions. I refer to it as curating the life of our dreams. When we can completely disregard the expectations and opinions of others and lean 100% into our own family’s values, everything changes. Truth is, I don’t love our house. It’s not the house of our dreams….far from it. But moving here allowed us to unlock the life of our dreams. We’ve been able to curate a life that truly aligns with our values:

• Renting this house has allowed us a ton of financial flexibility, providing the opportunity to lean into other parts of our budget.

• We’re able to push hard into generosity.

• We get to travel anywhere in the world we want.

• We were able to invest in Northern Vessel Coffee Company, which has been such a blessing in our life and my career.

• We’ve created a walkable life given we’re just steps away from public parks, breweries, restaurants, and shopping.

• We’re one block away from one of the best biking trails in the state, giving us immediate access to wonderful outdoor activities.

• We’re a 1-minute drive to the kids’ school, a 1-minute drive to the co-work office I host client meetings, a 2-minute drive to our podcast studio, a 2-minute drive to the grocery store, and a 6-minute drive to church.

This is amazing! I couldn’t love it more. To be honest, though, I do think about what other people think. I get self-conscious at times. I question our sanity. Every time that happens, however, I remind myself how we’ve essentially curated our dream life. We’ve had to make sacrifices, but those sacrifices pale in comparison to what we’ve gained. We’ve gained our dream life. The irony is that, to some, it’s a sign that we’re unsuccessful. To me, however, it’s a sign we’ve truly lived into our values. I call that the definition of success.

I encourage you to spend some time thinking about your dream life. What choices/decisions would you need to make to curate a better life that aligns with your values? This can be a scary question to confront, but it’s worth it.